


you make me sick (for being so perfect)

by laurenjauregui



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: Autism, Autistic Lauren, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2018-08-08 05:22:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 80
Words: 385,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7744888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurenjauregui/pseuds/laurenjauregui
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lauren Jauregui is a lot of things. She's caring, she's intelligent and she's beautiful. But Camila Cabello doesn't notice those things when she and Lauren first come into contact. Camila notices her nervous ticks, and how she refuses to look at her, and how she never furthers conversation. At first, Camila takes that the wrong way, and deciding that Lauren is nothing more than a rude girl who happens to have the same friends as her, eventually stops trying to make friends.</p><p>It isn't long before Camila realises she's been completely wrong the whole time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“You’re new. Right?”

“Um… yeah.” Camila glances up at the other girl who sat down in front of her in the library. She has to admit that she’s kind of intimidated by her; the girl is practically oozing confidence, and Camila is probably the most socially awkward person ever. “I’m Camila Cabello.”

The girl smiles at her. “Dinah Jane Hansen. Nice to meet you, Camila Cabello. You were in my physics class, but I didn’t get a chance to talk to you before you shot out of the door.”

Camila laughs softly. “Uh, yeah, I figured it’d probably be crowded in the cafeteria so I tried getting there as quickly as I could get myself a banana.”

“So, Camila, how are you liking this hell hole of a school so far?” Dinah asks her. “Clearly you don’t enjoy it, if you’re holed up in the library of all places.”

“It’s not too bad, actually.” Camila admits. “And I happen to like the library. It’s quiet.”

“ _God_ , you sound just like my friend. But you know where else is quiet? The art room.” Dinah says. “You should come and sit with me and my friends. That’s where we go.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “Are you serious?”

“Deathly serious.” Dinah stands up and nods towards the door. “Come on, Camila Cabello. Make some friends.”

She’s still a little stunned, but she packs her book away and follows Dinah out of the library. The other girl leads her out of the main school building and towards a smaller building which Camila knows is for creative arts, since her music class was in there that morning. But when they follow the path to the music room, they take a sudden left turn and head towards a different classroom.

Dinah holds open a classroom door for her, and Camila follows her inside to face three other girls sat around one of the tables. Camila smiles politely as Dinah introduces her. “Guys, this is Camila. Camila, this is Ally, Normani and Lauren.”

Two out of three of the girls, the ones Dinah had identified as Ally and Normani, look up at her and flash her bright smiles. The other girl, Lauren, keeps her gaze directed towards the sketchbook she’s drawing in, and while Camila is a little offended that she doesn’t seem too polite, she figures that maybe she’s just shy.

Still, it’d be nice if she made an effort.

“Are you new around this area?” Ally flashes her a warm smile as she sits down in the free chair between Normani and Lauren.

“Um, yeah. I moved from out of state.” Camila explains. “It was because of my dad’s job.”

Normani hums. “Well, you’ll settle in eventually, right?”

“I guess so.” Camila nods and drums her fingers on the desk absentmindedly. “So, how long have you guys known each other?”

Dinah smiles. “Mani and I have known each other since preschool, and we made friends with Ally in first grade. We met Lauren after that in third grade.”

Camila blinks in surprise. Apparently they’re a very close knit group of friends. Why would they want to adopt her into their little group? They seem to go back quite far. “Oh, that’s cool.”

“Enough about us, though,” Ally beams at her again, “Did you leave any friends behind at your old school?”

“Yeah.” Camila nods. “My friends Marielle and Sandra. They’re sisters. It’s going to be weird not seeing them every day, but we promised we’d text each other.”

Normani shrugs. “Well, they’ll probably come and visit you, right? How far away from Miami is your old house?”

“It’s in New York, actually.” Camila tells her. “The weather is a big change – shorts in September is never really something I could get away with back home.”

At the mention of New York, Dinah starts gushing about how she really wants to visit New York City and see all of the iconic sights, and then Normani jumps in with a comment about the shopping she could get done there.

While they’re distracted talking about NYC, Camila looks to her right and studies the other girl in the room, who has stayed quiet and reserved. Camila hasn’t even gotten a hello from her. So, she takes matters into her own hands.

“So… you’re Lauren, right?” Camila notes how the girl’s pencil, which was previously sketching something on the page of her art book, stills completely, and her eyes widen. That means she’s got her attention. “I’m Camila. It’s nice to meet you.”

Lauren bites down on her lip, and after a moment of silence, Camila actually gets something from her. “Hello.”

With that, Lauren resumes sketching, not even bothering to look in Camila’s direction. Camila huffs, coming to the conclusion that the girl is just plain rude, and looks up to see Dinah’s eyes trained on her.

Dinah’s gaze flicks to Lauren, and her mouth curves into a soft smile. “Lo?”

Lauren still doesn’t look up. “Yeah?”

“Why don’t you tell Camila something about yourself?” Dinah prompts, and Camila frowns. Obviously, Lauren didn’t want or care to talk to her, and she doesn’t want Dinah to feel bad about that.

Lauren fiddles with her pencil and shrugs, her gaze trained on her sketchbook. “Uh… I like art.”

Then, without asking anything about Camila, Lauren starts drawing again. Camila looks up at Dinah with a frown, but Dinah sends her a gaze that reads something along the lines of _don’t ask_.

So, Camila resolves to push the other girl out of her mind. She doesn’t need to be friends with _everyone_. She can be civil if she and Lauren ever have to interact; she isn’t going to go chasing after friendship with someone who isn’t even polite enough to welcome a new person.

She decides that she doesn’t really like Lauren.

Normani smiles at her again. “So, Camila, what kind of stuff are you into?”

Camila shrugs. “I’m really into reading, actually.”

That gets a small reaction out of Lauren – she doesn’t look up, but she lets out a small gasp. Either she was surprised by Camila’s statement, or she wasn’t listening and she’d snapped her pencil or something.

The bigger reaction is from Dinah. “Yeah, she was literally planning on spending her entire lunch period in the library. How sad is that?”

“I like the library.”

Camila didn’t think that Lauren had been listening to the conversation, but apparently she’s proven wrong. She looks over at the other girl and sees her staring down at her feet, her hands fiddling with a bracelet on her wrist.

“Of course you do, Lauser,” Dinah rolls her eyes, “you spend all your free time reading or drawing, and because the librarian likes you, she isn’t a total bitch to you. You should see the way she glares at me every time I walk in. It’s like she thinks I’m going to start a spontaneous dance party or something.”

“I mean, in her defence, you can be kind of loud.” Ally points out. “We need a volume control for you, seriously.”

Normani smirks. “Maybe a mute button would be best.”

Dinah lets out a scoff in mock offence. “You guys are so mean to me. I bet Mila doesn’t think that.”

“I haven’t known you long enough to have a good enough opinion on your volume level.” Camila points out, admittedly a little stunned by the nickname. “Maybe in a few weeks I can give you some feedback.”

“I’m holding you to that.” Dinah laughs, before she reaches her hand across the table. “Give me your class schedule. I want to see which other classes we’re in together.”

“Alright.” Camila digs her schedule from her bag and gets out her schedule, handing it over to Dinah. “Here.”

As Dinah looks over her timetable, Camila glances back over at Lauren. The other girl isn’t drawing anymore – her pencil is rested on top of her sketchbook and an intricate black and white doodle of an eye – and instead, Lauren is fiddling with a bracelet under the table.

Deciding to give the girl another chance, Camila puts on a smile. “That’s a really nice drawing. You’re very talented.”

Lauren starts rocking slightly, and bites down on her lip, still not meeting Camila’s eyes. “Thank you.”

Camila opens her mouth to ask another question, but Dinah interrupts her. “You’ve got all the sciences with me, gym with all of us, math and history with Mani and Ally, and literature and music with Lauren.”

Camila casts another glance towards Lauren, and sees that she’s still rocking on her chair. Deciding not to comment, Camila just shrugs. “Cool. Anything else?”

“Nope.” Dinah passes Camila’s schedule back. “Luckily for you, you have someone to sit with in all of your classes.”

“Yeah, speaking of class, we should probably head there now.” Ally says before Camila can respond. “We have math next. Mani and I will show you the way.”

“Yeah.” Normani smiles. “We’ll take you to literature afterwards, since it’s only an hour long lesson.”

Camila nods and sends both Ally and Normani appreciative smiles as she swings her backpack over her shoulder. “Thanks, guys. I really appreciate how welcoming most of you have been.”

Admittedly, after she says that and sees the way Dinah looks at Lauren, Camila feels a little guilty. But, if someone is impolite, Camila can be subtly impolite back.

She doesn’t bother looking back at Lauren when she follows Ally and Normani out of the room.

-

Normani walks her to her literature class when they’re let out of math, and honestly, lit is the one class that Camila has always enjoyed. She loves books and exploring all of the different meanings behind certain phrases, sentences or imagery.

When she pushes open the door to the classroom, she glances over the room to see that most of the desks of two are already occupied by at least one person, and it’s more of a case of choosing a partner to sit next to than picking a desk.

“Camila?”

She blinks in confusion when she hears a voice, and turns to face her new teacher. “Uh… hi.”

“You can take a seat next to Lauren.” The teacher smiles as her as if she’s doing something good, but Camila doesn’t get why she’s instructed where to sit, when other people are just walking straight in.

But, she doesn’t argue. Instead, she keeps her mouth shut and reluctantly walks over to the other girl, pulling out the seat next to her. Camila sits down and pulls out her notepad and pen, and then glances over at Lauren, who is staring down at her feet and drumming her fingers against her thighs.

Camila tries a smile. “Hi, Lauren.”

Lauren’s tapping becomes more rapid. “Hello.”

For a second time, Camila takes a quick look over Lauren, and she can tell by the way she’s fidgeting that she’s nervous. Maybe she _is_ just shy after all. “So… do you like literature as much as you like art?”

It takes Lauren a few moments to respond. “No.”

“Do you like art more?” Camila attempts to keep the conversation going.

Lauren’s reply is almost silent. “Yes.”

Camila lets out a heavy sigh and gives up. If she’s not going to get anything more than one word answers from the other girl, then she isn’t going to bother. Instead of looking back at Lauren, she glances up to the front of the room and jots the date down on her notepad.

Once she’s finished with that, she turns around again, and brown eyes meet a magnificent green for a split second, before Lauren’s gaze shoots back to the ground and she ducks her head. Admittedly, Camila is a little taken aback by how pretty the other girl is, but she isn’t about to say that out loud.

No. If Lauren wants to talk to her, then it’s down to her. Not Camila.

Apparently, Lauren doesn’t want to talk to her. She doesn’t say anything for the one hour period, but Camila catches her gazing over at her occasionally with curiosity in her entrancing emerald eyes.

When the bell rings signalling the end of the day, Lauren packs her things away silently and practically sprints out of the classroom, not even bothering to say goodbye.

Camila takes a little longer to pack her things away, and as she walks towards the classroom door, her teacher stops her again.

“I’m glad that you and Lauren are friends.” Her teacher says with a smile. “It’s nice to see her coming out of herself.”

Camila blinks. “Why did you put us next to each other?”

“Lauren asked me to.” He replies. “She said that she wanted to sit with her new friend, Camila.”

Camila has no idea why Lauren has it in her mind that they’re friends – every time Camila had attempted conversation, Lauren had just dismissed her – but she shrugs it off as she makes her way out of school and towards her mother’s car.

When her mom asks her if she’s made any friends, Camila mentions Dinah, Normani and Ally. But not Lauren, because they’re certainly not friends.

And honestly, Camila can’t see them being friends at any point in the near future.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting chapter two of this because people seemed to really like it. Enjoy.

Lauren Jauregui hates change. Even the slightest change can make her upset, because it ruins her routines and she hates it when things mess with her routines. She needs structure, and change ruins all of that.

Lauren wants to dislike Camila, because Camila’s presence meant change. Change was bad. Therefore, Camila should be bad too, except she’s not. In Lauren’s opinion, Camila is wonderful.

She’s been around for a total of two days, and while Lauren hasn’t exactly gotten the courage to speak to her properly, Camila always smiles at her when she comes into the room, and it’s comforting. If Camila is smiling at her, it means she likes her. Sometimes Camila asks her questions, and while Lauren’s a little too frightened to answer them properly, she still likes that she’s asked, because it means that Camila wants to be friends.

On Camila’s third day of school, Lauren decides that _yes_ , they’re friends. She walks into her music class ten minutes early, because she likes to be punctual, and informs her teacher that she wants Camila to sit next to her, because they’re friends, and friends are supposed to sit next to each other. Lauren bounces in her seat when Camila walks into the classroom and sits down next to her, because she’s excited to have a new friend, but when Camila greets her, she blushes and falls silent. She doesn’t want to do anything Camila might consider to be strange, so she keeps her mouth shut.

That’s when Camila gives her the look.

She stares at her like she’s done something wrong, her eyebrows dipping into a frown, and Lauren decides that she really doesn’t like it when Camila frowns, because when she’s smiling, Camila is very pretty. Lauren likes to look at her sometimes. The look puts Lauren off, and she shrinks down in her seat in an effort to make herself smaller, tapping her fingers against the table and trying to ignore how she can feel Camila’s brown eyes piercing holes into the back of her head.

Lauren stays silent for most of their music class, but answers Camila’s questions and tries to be as polite as she can. Sometimes she sees Camila frowning, and she knows that it’s a bad thing, but she doesn’t know _why_ she’s frowning, because as far as she knows, she hasn’t said anything to upset her. That’s why she wasn’t speaking as much, because sometimes she said things that upset people and she didn’t want to frighten Camila off by doing that.

Because Lauren likes Camila, and they’re friends. She doesn’t want to upset her new friend.

When class is over and it’s time for their lunch break, Lauren walks behind Camila towards the art classroom, keeping a good amount of distance between them. She doesn’t like being too close to someone she doesn’t know very well, and until she gets to know Camila, she can’t get too close. It upsets her.

Camila holds the door for the art classroom open for her, and Lauren silently thanks her with a shy smile as she heads for her usual seat. She opens up her sketchbook and searches in her backpack for her pencils, taking her time to pick up the perfect one. She pulls her phone out and opens up Camila’s Instagram page – Dinah had linked it in the group chat the night before and told them all to follow her – picking a recent selfie Camila had posted.

Lauren really thinks that Camila is beautiful, and she believes that beauty should be captured in the form of art. Because she’s too frightened to ask Camila to pose for her, she has to use the other girl’s Instagram as a source for her portrait. She doesn’t think she’ll show her drawing to Camila, because she’s not sure if that’s okay and she doesn’t know what Camila’s reaction will be. Maybe she’ll ask Dinah, because Camila seems to be closest to her.

“Hey, Laurenza?”

Lauren blinks in surprise when her name is called, because she’d tuned out the conversation to focus on her drawing. “Yes?”

“Camila asked you a question.” Normani tells her, nodding towards the other girl.

Lauren bites down on her lip and feels heat flushing to her cheeks. She starts rubbing her hand against her thigh to calm herself down, because she doesn’t like it when she gets like this. She doesn’t like being nervous.

“I was just asking what you’re drawing.” Camila sends her a smile, but Lauren can’t tell if it’s a good or a bad one. Her tone is a little rigid, and Lauren picks up on it, but she isn’t sure if Camila is upset, and if she is, she wonders why. “Just thought I’d make conversation.”

It takes Lauren a few moments to untangle the two statements in her head, and she frowns when she realises Camila hadn’t asked her a question at all. “Oh. Okay.”

Lauren returns to her drawing, because she doesn’t think that Camila will have an actual question for her, but she tries to pay attention just in case. Instead of talking again, Camila just lets out a heavy sigh and turns back to Dinah, saying something that Lauren struggles to decipher because it’s getting tangled with Ally and Normani’s conversation.

For the rest of their lunch break, Lauren notices how Camila is looking at her like everyone else does, and she doesn’t like it, because she has no idea what she’s done to make her look at her funny. She’s trying her best to be as stereotypically "normal" as she can be, and she’d thought it was working.

Lauren decides that she’s probably just worrying too much. It’s probably her mind playing tricks on her because she’s trying to adapt to the change.

Instead of worrying about it, Lauren focuses on her drawing, occasionally sneaking glances at Camila while she works. She isn’t sure if it’s wrong to do it, and she catches Normani smirking at her as she looks, but her friend doesn’t tell her it’s bad, so she keeps doing it, because Camila really is pretty. Her dark hair looks soft, like something Lauren wouldn’t mind touching, and she never has spots on her gorgeous tan skin. That part, Lauren’s jealous of; she hates it when she gets spots, because it’s like some sort of alien has decided it wants to live on her face for a week, and she doesn’t like that because it’s _her_ face. Spots are bad.

What Lauren likes most about Camila is her eyes. They’re brown and they look all warm and welcoming – especially when she laughs – and she likes to imagine what it would be like to look at them properly, because they’d probably be even prettier up close.

Lauren is marvelling over Camila’s side profile when the other girl turns and catches her, looking her straight in the eyes. For a second, Lauren feels like she can’t function, because she can’t think when someone looks her directly in her eyes – it feels like they’re looking into her head and can see everything she’s thinking, and she doesn’t like that because her thoughts are _hers_. Nobody else’s.

Lauren looks down at her feet and rubs her hand along her thigh to calm herself down, hyperaware of how Camila is watching her every move with that same frown on her face that she sees everywhere else, but Camila isn’t supposed to look at her like that because she’s her _friend_.

She’s thankful when the bell rings signalling the end of lunch break and the start of her art class, where she can work on her drawing in peace. Ally, Normani and Camila head to their lessons, and Dinah gets her own, school issued sketchbook out of her backpack and then smirks at Lauren.

“Well, Lauser, you really like looking at Mila, don’t you?” Dinah asks her. She wiggles her eyebrows, and Lauren suspects that it’s supposed to be comical, but doesn’t really understand why. “Honestly, I get why you would, but you don’t talk to her.”

“I’m drawing her.” Lauren taps on the table with her fingers. “I will show you when it’s finished but you can’t see it yet. Not until it’s finished.”

“You’re drawing her?” Dinah blinks in surprise. “You should show her when it’s done. I’m sure she’d like that.”

“I think she’s really pretty.” Lauren admits, feeling her cheeks turning red. She touches them with her hands and frowns when they’re hot, because she doesn’t like that feeling at all. “Do you think she thinks I’m pretty too?”

An emotion of some form flashes across Dinah’s face, but it’s gone before Lauren can even attempt to decipher it. “I’m sure she does, Ralph. You guys are friends.”

“Yes. Friends.” Lauren nods to herself. “I’m happy she’s my friend. I like making new friends, I think. It’s just hard sometimes.”

Dinah sends her a sympathetic smile. “You should try to talk to her more, Lauren. Camila isn’t scary.”

“No. Can’t talk to her more.” Lauren shakes her head, because that’s a ridiculous idea. “I’ll do something weird. She’ll think I’m strange and then she won’t want to be my friend and then I’ll be sad again.”

“She wouldn’t be like that.” Dinah assures her. “Mila’s already your friend, Ralph. You’ve just got to talk to her more and then she’ll be your best friend. Like me, Mani, Ally are.”

Lauren hums. “I’d like that. Yes. Can you tell her not to look at me funny, though? Sometimes she does and I don’t like it.”

“She only does that because you don’t talk to her and she doesn’t get why.” Dinah nudges her gently and she tenses up. “Just try opening up a little more. Show her your drawing when it’s finished, because we both know it’ll be _lit as hell_.”

Lauren bites down on her lip. “Maybe. If I think it’s good enough.”

“It’ll definitely be good enough.” Dinah assures her. “You’re the best artist I know, honestly.”

“Thank you, DJ.” Lauren looks down at her sketchbook with a smile. “I’m going to finish this now.”

With a little added confidence, Lauren turns back to her drawing and decides that maybe it’d be nice for her to show Camila. Maybe it’d made Camila not look at her weirdly.

She just hopes things will work out.


	3. Chapter 3

Camila spends her first week in Miami confused.

And that’s down to Lauren Jauregui.

Whenever Camila arrives in the art room, Lauren falls silent. If Camila tries to make conversation, Lauren either ignores her or gives her one worded, awkward answers. But then in her first music class, Camila had been informed that ‘her friend Lauren’ wanted to sit with her.

She just doesn’t understand it. She doesn’t know what the other girl’s intentions are, she doesn’t know why Lauren is so quiet around her, and she doesn’t know why she thinks they’re friends. Because they’re not.

Obviously.

From her fourth day onwards, Camila tries her best to ignore the other girl’s presence entirely. And for the most part, it works. Aside from times they had to interact in class, Camila doesn’t bother with the other girl. And on the last day of her first week, when she comes into school with good news, she tells it to Ally, Normani and Dinah. Not Lauren.

“Hey guys,” She greets them collectively as she walks into the art room and sits down in her usual spot. “Listen, I have to ask you something.”

“Sure, Mila.” Dinah nods. “The floor is yours.”

“So, I was wondering if you three maybe wanted to come over one night. You can sleep over if you want, but I figured we could have pizza and a movie marathon.” Camila asks, admittedly a little nervous. “My mom keeps wanting to meet my new friends and she won’t shut up about it.”

“Sure, we’ll come over.” Ally smiles at her. “Text us all the details and we’ll come.”

“Sounds like it’ll be fun.” Normani says, before she turns around and flashes a smile to Lauren, who is late to the art room for some reason. “Hey, Lo.”

Lauren worries her bottom lip between her teeth and nods. “Hi, Mani.”

“Camila invited us all to a night at her house next week.” Dinah tells her, and Camila inwardly cringes. She hadn’t planned on inviting Lauren along. She’d figured that the operative words ‘you three’ had been enough to hint that the invitation was only extended to Normani, Ally and Dinah. “Are you in?”

Camila doesn’t worry too much. There’s no way that Lauren would want to come. They weren’t friends, and the fact was obvious to anyone. She wouldn’t actually-

“Okay.” Lauren sits down in her seat and looks down at the floor. “Yes.”

 _Crap_. Camila fakes a smile. “Glad to know everyone can make it.”

She stays silent until the bell rings signalling the start of first period, and as she makes her way to music class, she feels someone walking beside her, and sees Lauren’s familiar messy mane of dark hair. She’s clutching her sketchbook to her chest and her cheeks are flushed, but she doesn’t look up at Camila. In fact, Camila has noticed that Lauren only looks at her when she knows she’s not looking back.

Out of common courtesy, she holds the door to the music classroom open for Lauren, and then sits down at their shared desk. Camila busies herself with getting out her necessary books, and when she leaves her backpack by her feet, she looks up to meet Lauren’s nervous green gaze.

“Um… hi, Lauren.” Camila awkwardly greets her. She notes the way Lauren doesn’t look her directly in the eyes, opting to stare at her neck. “What’s up?”

Lauren turns away from her, and Camila rolls her eyes. Typically, she’d reject any attempt at conversation. She’s so frustrating, and Camila honestly can’t stand her.

She feels a little guilty for that thought when Lauren pushes her sketchbook in her direction, and on the open page is an incredibly detailed and realistic drawing of her.

For once, Camila is the speechless one. Her mouth works, her jaw opening and closing as she tries to think of something to say.

What comes out isn’t really that articulate and sophisticated. “ _Wow_. That’s really good.”

Lauren blushes and drums her fingers on the table, fidgeting about on her chair. “Do you like it?”

It’s probably the longest sentence Lauren’s ever spoken to her, and Camila nods quickly. “I love it. It’s really beautiful. You’re an incredibly talented artist, Lauren.”

Lauren’s blush deepens. “Thank you.”

Camila gazes down at the drawing in awe. This was the last thing she’d been expecting. “How long did it take?”

Lauren shrugs. She doesn’t answer the question, and instead changes the subject. With a nervous tremor and flushed cheeks, she looks down at her feet. “Thank you for inviting me to your house. I’m glad that you are my friend.”

That little bit of guilt Camila felt earlier multiplies by ten thousand, because as far as she’d been concerned all week, she wasn’t inviting Lauren with the rest of the girls, and Lauren wasn’t her friend. “It’s okay. I’m glad that you’re my friend too.”

Lauren bounces her knee up and down and nods rapidly. “Yes. Friend.”

As Camila looks her over again, a thought forms in the back of her mind that maybe something isn’t quite right with Lauren. Maybe that’s why she acts the way she does. Maybe that’s why she’s so… confusing.

Camila makes a mental note to ask Dinah later.

“I really do love your drawing, Lauren.” Camila smiles at her gently, trying to meet Lauren’s eyes. “Have you shown anyone else?”

Lauren nods quickly and starts fiddling with one of her bracelets, refusing to look up at Camila. “Yes, I showed Dinah and she told me that I should show you but I did not want to show you because I didn’t think that you would like it because I think that you’re frightening and maybe you don’t like me a lot because you always look at me funny.”

Camila blinks. She’d expected one word, not a long, rambled sentence. Still, she untangles everything Lauren has said to formulate a response. “I’m glad you listened to Dinah and showed me. And of course I like you, Lauren.”

Lauren opens her mouth in protest. “But you look at me funny. Like everyone else does.”

“What do you mean by that?” Camila asks. She didn’t think she’d been looking at Lauren weirdly, and even if she had, it’s not like Lauren ever made an effort to meet her gaze.

But, Lauren seems to shut down, and merely shakes her head before looking towards the front of the room and effectively ending the conversation.

Camila sighs to herself. She should’ve expected the typical rude response. While the drawing was a nice surprise, that isn’t going to change her opinion of Lauren. Not until the other girl stops being so frustrating.

-

Camila enters the physics classroom without her usual smile, and sits down in her usual spot next to Dinah. She huffs and pulls her notebook and pen out of her backpack, and then turns to see her friend looking at her with a confused frown.

“Not in a good mood, huh?” Dinah raises an eyebrow. “What happened?”

Camila shrugs and flips open her textbook. “Nothing happened.”

Dinah scoffs. “Yeah, _okay_. It’s the last period before lunch, which you’re usually ecstatic about, and you were perfectly fine this morning when we met before classes. Spill. What happened?”

“ _Lauren_ happened.” Camila huffs. “Why’d you tell her about our movie night?”

Dinah’s previously inquisitive expression sinks into a frown. “What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I? You invited us all over.”

“No,” Camila shakes her head, “I invited you, Ally and Mani. Not her.”

“Did she do something to upset you?” Dinah asks her. “Because she didn’t mean it. Honestly. I thought you guys were friends, she really likes you and talks about you a lot so I kind of assumed you’d want her there.”

Camila is a little taken aback. Lauren talks about her? “She didn’t do anything, but she’s not my friend. She’s just so _rude_ and honestly… I feel bad saying it, but I don’t like her. I can’t like somebody who’s that rude.”

Surprisingly, Dinah’s expression relaxes, and admittedly, Camila is a little worried as to why she’s not freaking out over the fact that she doesn’t like one of her best friends. “She’s not rude, Mila. She’s just… shy.”

Camila scoffs. “I find that hard to believe. She spoke to me this morning in music, and then I asked her a question and she just blanked me for the rest of class. Who does that? She’s so frustrating. It’s like- basic politeness to answer a question when you’re asked one, and shy people know that.”

Dinah sighs. “Look, I know you’ve probably got all of this pent up frustration at her, but I really don’t like the way you’re talking about one of my best friends. She's probably the sweetest person I've ever met and you're being unnecessarily bitchy about her.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just-” Camila cuts herself off and asks something a little more loaded. “Is there something wrong with her?”

Dinah looks up at her in shock, but quickly turns her expression neutral. “No. There’s nothing _wrong_ with her.”

Camila sighs. “She’s just so confusing. She keeps telling people we’re friends, and according to you she talks about me, but then she won’t say anything to my face. Even when I get her to talk to me, she won’t look me in the eye and half of the time, she won’t answer any of my questions.”

Dinah looks like she’s debating telling Camila something important. “That’s not her fault.”

“Then what is it?” Camila asks. “Because in music class in first and second period, she showed me a drawing she’s done of me, and she spoke to me more than she has in the past week, but she still refuses to look me in the eye like a polite human being. And then she suddenly stopped talking to me and ignored me for the rest of class. I don’t get her, Dinah.”

Dinah drums her fingers on the table. “Mila, she’s not… she doesn’t think like everyone else. She doesn’t know that certain things are deemed rude.”

“She’s a seventeen year old girl.” Camila counters. “You’d think she’d have figured things out by now.”

Dinah shoots her an irritated look. “Don’t talk about her like that, okay? She’s autistic. While it’s fairly mild on the spectrum, she’s still… there’s certain things she doesn’t get and things she can’t do, and you have to be patient with her. Her mind works differently.”

Camila frowns, a little shocked by the revelation, but when she thinks things over, it kind of makes sense. “Why doesn’t she talk to me, though? I mean, surely it doesn’t-”

“Because she’s worried.” Dinah interrupts her. “Normani told me that she was with her the other night, and Lauren said that she’s worried about doing something ‘strange’ because she doesn’t want you to think she’s different. She told me that too, when she showed me the drawing.”

Camila feels her heart break into two, and she feels incredibly guilty for everything she’s just said. She feels like such a jerk. “She’s scared that I won’t want to be her friend because of it?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time it happened. Besides, weren’t you just talking about how much you don’t like her because she’s _rude_?” Dinah challenges, and Camila tries to swallow her guilt. “Just be gentle with her, okay? She’s got such a good heart and she’ll be the best friend you ever wished for. Just give her time to settle and she’ll open up more.”

Camila hums to herself, and she’s a little surprised that she feels relieved. “You know, I feel better now that you’ve told me that. I thought she just didn’t like me, but then she was telling people we’re friends and it was so hard to wrap my head around it. You could’ve told me that before.”

“She told me not to.” Dinah shrugs and jots down a few notes from the PowerPoint the teacher is going through. “Like I said, she’s worried she’ll do something you’ll think is weird and not want to be friends with her. That plan kind of backfired on her, though. So… she showed you the drawing, huh?”

Camila smiles at the memory. “Yeah, she did. She’s really talented. I was kind of shocked, to be honest with you – when she got my attention, it was the last thing I was expecting.”

Dinah laughs. “It took me like, three hours to convince her to show you. When she told me about it she said she was thinking about showing you, and then when she showed me the finished thing I told her how awesome it was and she didn't believe me. She thought it wasn’t good enough, and I mean, the girl is one of the best artists I know, so I knocked a little sense into her by telling her you'd think it was nice of her even if it was just a stick figure on a page. I’m glad she showed you. She worked really hard on it.”

“I could tell.” Camila replies. “It was really cool.”

“Well, when Lauser commits to something, it always comes out awesome.” Dinah shrugs. “Our art teacher loves her. She’s the reason we’re allowed to stay in art for lunch and breaks. While our teacher likes me, apparently I’m ‘easily distracted’. Can you believe that?”

Camila lets out a mock gasp. “I wonder where she got that conclusion from.”

As if on cue, their physics teacher shushes them, and Camila turns back to her work, although her thoughts are clouded by Lauren’s beautiful emerald eyes.

-

When the bell rings for lunch, Camila is actually looking forward to seeing Lauren. When she arrives in the art room, Lauren is hunched over her sketchbook as usual, the only one left in the room aside from a few stragglers from the last class.

Camila takes the seat next to her and flashes her a warm smile. “Hey, Lo.”

Lauren blinks in confusion and drums her fingers against the table. “You don’t call me that. My friends call me that. Except for Dinah sometimes.”

“I’m your friend. Remember? I said I was in music class this morning.” Camila says. “Unless you don’t want me to use that nickname?”

Lauren shakes her head. “I don’t mind. I… uh, I like it.”

Camila notes how Lauren starts to fidget, and she slowly and carefully places her hand on the other girl’s shoulder and gives it a soft squeeze. “I really like talking to you, Lauren. I’d like it if you talked to me more. Okay?”

“Okay. Talking.” Lauren nods to herself and wriggles out of Camila’s grip. “Yes. I can do that.”

“Good.” Camila smiles as Normani and Dinah sit down across from them. “Hey, guys. How was the cafeteria?”

“Crowded as hell. Remind me to start bringing packed lunches next week.” Dinah sighs as she reaches across the table and gives Lauren a sandwich. “Here you go, Lauser. One cheese sandwich, as ordered.”

“Thank you.” Lauren looks down at the table as she unwraps her sandwich. “Camila is my friend.”

Normani looks a little startled by the sudden change of topic, but she quickly composes herself. “That’s great, Lo.”

“And- uh, she said she likes my drawing.” Lauren continues, rocking on her chair. “I think I’m going to do more drawings. Can I do more drawings of Camila?”

Camila bites down on her lip and nods. “Only if you want to, honey.”

Lauren shifts in her chair. “Yes. I would like that. You’re very nice. What do I need to bring to your house next week? And what day are we coming to your house? I need to ask my mom if I’m allowed because we might have family night then and I can't miss family night.”

Camila catches Dinah’s gaze, and she really doesn’t have the heart to tell Lauren she isn’t invited. Because maybe their little conversation has changed her mind slightly. Besides, if Lauren had been holding back around her for the past week, Camila needs to give her a second chance at friendship. From what she’s seen, Lauren seems sweet.

Camila is a little stunned by how talkative the other girl is all of a sudden, but she takes it as a good sign. “Friday. Especially if you guys are wanting to sleep over.”

“A sleepover sounds awesome.” Ally says as she pulls a chair up to the table. “I’m in.”

Dinah and Normani both nod in agreement. “Us too.”

Lauren just looks confused, and Camila has to bite her lip to stop herself from letting out a soft _aw_. “Sleepover? Can I bring Nala? I need her. She helps me sleep because I can fiddle with her.”

“Nala?” Camila asks, not really sure as to what Lauren is asking. She decides that it’s probably best to just nod along. “Um… sure.”

Dinah clears things up for her. “Nala is her stuffed animal. As in Nala from the Lion King.”

“Oh.” Camila’s eyes widen in realisation. “Of course you can bring your Nala, Lauren.”

Lauren looks ecstatic, and Camila finds it incredibly hard to bite back her smile. She can’t believe that just this morning, she’d had negative thoughts about her. And now she was sitting here thinking about how adorable Lauren is. “Good. I think I will like this sleepover. But I need to ask my mom if I can come because I can't miss family night.”

“Why don’t you text her, Lo?” Normani asks. “She’s usually cool with sleepovers, anyway. You stayed at my place last week and she was fine with that.”

“Yes.” Lauren nods so fast that Camila’s slightly worried she’s going to give herself whiplash, and pulls her phone from her pocket. She taps around on it for a moment and then stuffs it back into her pocket. “I messaged her and told her that I want to stay at Camila’s. She’ll probably say yes but I have to make sure.”

“That’s good. I really hope she says yes.” Camila sends her a warm smile. “I want all of my friends to be there.”

Lauren blushes and nods to herself, rocking on her chair and tapping her fingers on the table. “Yes. We are friends.”

“Hate to interrupt the bonding session over here,” Dinah gestures between Lauren and Camila, “but Lauser, will you eat your damn sandwich? I had to stand in a line for like _six hours_ to get that.”

"We haven't been at school for six hours yet, DJ." Lauren frowns in confusion and looks down at her sandwich. "Why would you have to wait six hours for it?"

"Sarcasm, Lo," Dinah replies with a chuckle, "I meant that the line was really long because everyone had already been let out of class and I didn't get there until late. It  _felt_ like I was waiting six hours, though."

"Oh." Lauren laughs, and the sound is music to Camila’s ears. “Yes. I’ll eat it. Sorry, Dinah.”

When Lauren takes a bite out of her sandwich, Dinah’s teasing expression turns into a fond smile. “Don’t worry about it, Lo.”

Ally is the one to move the conversation onto other topics. “So, what do you guys think of the new math teacher?”

Camila takes this as her opportunity to tune out and read her book for a little while. As she reads, she absentmindedly eats some of her lunch, but she’s far more interested in the fictional town of Maycomb, Alabama, and the adventures of Scout and Jem.

“I have read that.” Lauren’s raspy voice grabs her attention. “To Kill a Mockingbird is my favourite book of all time.”

“It’s very interesting.” Camila replies, looking away from the pages to catch a glimpse of Lauren’s mysterious emerald eyes before the other girl looks down at the floor. “I’ve read it before one time, but I like to come back to books.”

“I like reading books over and over.” Lauren says, rubbing her hand along her thigh quickly. “Stories are really interesting and I love being inside the mind of someone else. Being in a different world.”

Camila smiles. “Yeah, that’s why I like them, too. This world can be kind of boring sometimes.”

Instead of continuing on about books, Lauren tilts her head to the side and looks up, her bright green eyes meeting Camila’s less interesting brown ones, before she looks away again. “You’re not looking at me funny anymore.”

Camila frowns. “I didn’t realise I was before.”

Lauren nods. “Yes, you kept staring at me like I was weird and different, but I’m not weird and different. I'm normal. Like you.”

“I’m sorry that I was looking at you weirdly.” Camila apologises. “I just didn’t understand why you wouldn’t talk to me and I was trying to figure it out through your body language. That’s all.”

“You didn’t like me, I think.” Lauren says, and Camila can’t exactly argue with her. “I’m not weird. I’m just shy. That's what Manibear says. I love Manibear.”

Normani grins and reaches across the table to squeeze Lauren's hand gently. "Love you too, Laurenza. You know you're my best friend."

"Yes." Lauren taps her thumb against Normani's hand before she pulls away and turns back to Camila. "See? I'm not weird. I'm  _shy_."

“Of course you’re not weird, Lauren.” Camila goes to touch Lauren's hand, but stops when the older Latina puts her hands on her lap and starts clenching and unclenching her fingers. “Being shy isn’t a bad thing. I can be kind of shy sometimes myself.”

Lauren hums to herself. “Okay.”

With that, she returns to her sketchbook and begins the outline of another drawing.

Camila kind of hopes it’s of her.


	4. Chapter 4

When she hears three consecutive knocks on her front door, Camila practically dives down the stairs to stop her mother from answering it before her. She unlocks the door and opens it, surprised when she sees Lauren stood on the doorstep by herself.

Apparently, she hasn’t even noticed that Camila has opened the door; she’s too busy staring at the potted plants on the porch. “Lauren?”

Lauren blinks and looks up in surprise, but it isn’t long before she looks back down at the floor. “Hello.”

It comes out more like ‘hallo’ and Camila has to stop herself from smiling. So. Adorable. “Aren’t you coming with the rest of the girls? Dinah told me that she’s giving Normani and Ally a ride here at six.”

Camila glances over at the clock – it’s just past five, which means that Lauren has arrived an hour earlier than she was supposed to.

“No.” Lauren shakes her head as Camila ushers her inside. “They’re not here with me now. My mom dropped me off after she picked up Taylor from soccer practice.”

Camila thinks that Lauren just assumes she knows who Taylor is. Lauren seems to assume she knows a lot. “Oh, okay. Well, you’re a little bit early.”

Lauren blinks. “I am?”

“Yes. I said to come at six.” Camila reminds her. “It’s five minutes past five.”

“Oh.” Lauren frowns to herself, and turns on her heel as if she’s about to leave. “Okay. Sorry. I will go for a walk and come back at six.”

“No- Lauren,” Camila grabs her arm and pulls her back, immediately noticing the way Lauren seems to tense up. “I don’t want you to leave. Stay here?”

“Yes.” Lauren nods, and sits down on the stairs. She unties the laces of her shoes before she pulls them off, and then stacks one on top of the other by the front door. “I’m staying.”

Camila smiles. “Good. Do you want to meet my parents now and get it out of the way?”

Lauren’s green eyes widen and she shakes her head quickly. “No. I don’t like new people. They look at me funny.”

“They won’t look at you funny, Lauren.” Camila assures her. She sits down next to Lauren on the stairs and sends her a warm smile. “My parents are nice. I promise. And I can bet you now that my little sister will love you.”

“I have a little sister.” Lauren looks up at the ceiling. “And a little brother. Chris and Taylor. I love them a lot.”

Camila nods. “That’s cool. My little sister is called Sofia, but we call her Sofi. And my-”

“Mija!” Camila hears her mother’s voice call out, and footsteps coming from the lounge. “Who was at the door?”

“Oh, uh,” Camila flashes her mother a nervous smile as she comes to a stop in front of them. She would be a little more worried about her parents’ opinion of Lauren if she hadn’t already explained how she was to them. Of course, there’s the first week she spent ranting about how rude Lauren supposedly was, and Camila was kind of hoping Sinu had forgotten about that. “Mom, this is my friend Lauren. Lauren, this is my mom.”

Lauren starts tapping her fingers against her thigh. “Hello, Camila’s mom.”

“You can call me Sinu, Lauren.” Sinu gives her a soft smile. “Camila’s talked about you a lot.”

This seems to pique Lauren’s interest, and she looks up with curiosity shining in her green eyes. “She has? What does she say? Are they good things? I hope they’re good things, because I tell my mom and dad good things about her. I think she’s wonderful.”

Sinu laughs at Lauren’s enthusiasm, but Camila just blushes and looks anywhere but the other girl. She really hopes her mom doesn’t say anything about that first week where she only had negative things to say about the other girl.

“Of course she says good things about you.” Sinu assures her. “You know, this one time she told me you have pretty eyes.”

Camila cringes in embarrassment, but Lauren gasps. “She did? I thought she didn’t like me because she looked at me funny, but she thinks I have pretty eyes so that must mean she likes me. Camila, do you like me?”

“I do.” Camila forces a smile – it’s hard to be entirely enthusiastic when your mother is embarrassing you in front of a pretty girl. “You’re my friend, Lolo. I have to like you for you to be my friend.”

“Lolo.” Lauren repeats. Camila had hoped she wouldn’t pick up on that. “I like it. I am Lolo.”

Camila smiles. “Yeah. My Lolo.”

Lauren turns back to her mom and apparently has decided she wants to embarrass Camila as much as she can, because she asks something else. “Sinu, what else does Camila say about me?”

Before Sinu can speak, Camila interrupts. “As much as I’m sure that would be fun, Lauren and I have something to do upstairs. See you later.”

With that, she grabs Lauren by the wrist and pulls her upstairs, her pace not slowing until she reaches her bedroom and closes the door behind them. Camila flops down on her bed, and Lauren cautiously sits next to her as if she's not sure that she's allowed to sit down, and keeps a bit of a distance between them.

It’s silent for a moment, but then Lauren speaks up. “What do we have to do?”

Camila frowns. “What?”

“You said to your mom that we had to do something up here. What do we have to do?” Lauren asks, turning her head to the side in confusion. "Is it important?"

“Oh, nothing. I was just saying that to get us away from my mom.” Camila explains. She hadn’t really expected Lauren to take it so literally. “We don’t have to do anything.”

“I like your mom.” Lauren fiddles with a stuffed animal she’s produced from her overnight bag. “She seems nice.”

Instead of commenting on that, Camila nods to the toy. “What’s that you’ve got there, Lo?”

“ _Lolo_.” Lauren corrects her. She shuffles forwards and holds out a stuffed lion in Camila’s direction with a wide smile. “This is Nala.”

“Oh,” Camila’s eyes widen in realisation. “I remember. You told me about her last week.”

Lauren nods and sits a little closer to Camila, placing Nala in her lap. “She likes you. I told her about you when we met first because you frightened me. I know she's not real but sometimes talking to her makes me feel better.”

Camila frowns. “Why did I frighten you?”

“You looked at me funny.” Lauren replies as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I don’t like it when people look at me funny. They think I’m stupid but I’m actually much smarter than them. I have a 5.0 grade point average.”

Camila smiles. “That’s awesome, Lo.”

Lauren scowls. _“Lolo_.”

Camila rolls her eyes and lets out a fond laugh. “That’s awesome, _Lolo_.”

Lauren lets out a satisfied hum. “Good. What are we doing now? I’m bored.”

“Good to know I’m a decent host.” Camila mutters sarcastically. “We can do whatever you want.”

“Can we order pizza?” Lauren asks, fiddling with one of Nala’s ears. “I always have pizza on a Friday night with my mom and dad and Chris and Taylor. I like my routine. I would've stayed at home for pizza night but I wanted to come and see you because you're my new friend.”

“I guess we can order pizza, but later. When the girls come.” Camila promises her. “So, have you done any more art recently?”

“I always make art.” Lauren says proudly. “Art is my favourite thing. You’re like art, actually.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “I’m like art?”

“Yes.” Lauren nods. “Like… art is beautiful and made up of lots of little things like pencil scratches and paint. You’re beautiful and made up of wonderful things like smiles and intelligence and books.”

Camila blushes. “That’s really sweet of you to say, Lauren. Thank you.”

Lauren just shrugs. “It’s just the truth. Why are you saying thank you? I shouldn’t be thanked for not lying.”

“Because you said something nice about me.” Camila explains, realising that she’s going to need a lot of patience to have a proper conversation with Lauren. Certain things that are obvious to her may not be as obvious to the other girl. “Usually when someone says something nice, you say thank you. To show them you appreciate it.”

“Oh.” Lauren hugs Nala to her chest and taps her feet on the floor. “Okay then. I knew that.”

Camila laughs. “You knew that already? Why’d you ask then?”

“Because…” Lauren frowns to herself. “Because I didn’t know if you knew that. I know things. I’m smart, Camila, I promise. I have a 5.0 GPA.”

“I know you’re smart.” Camila’s eyes widen a little when Lauren starts to rock backwards and forwards, and she isn’t sure what to do to calm her down. “You’re very smart, Lolo. I think you’re the smartest person in our literature class.”

Lauren fiddles with Nala’s ears. “You do?”

“I do.” Camila confirms. “I think you’re even smarter than me. That’s our little secret, though. Can’t have people knowing that there’s someone out there who’s better at literature than me.”

Lauren giggles and nods so quickly that Camila’s a little worried she’ll give herself a headache. “Our secret. I won’t tell anyone, not even Manibear, and I tell Mani everything.”

“You can tell me anything too, you know. I’m your friend.” Camila smiles and takes hold of Lauren’s hand, her expression darkening slightly when Lauren jerks it away. “You don’t want to hold my hand?”

Lauren shakes her head. “I don’t like it.”

Camila frowns. “Do you mean that you-”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.” Lauren looks up with wide eyes and stares at Camila for a moment before she looks away again. “I just don’t like it when people touch me a lot and a lot of people think that it’s weird but I promise I’m normal, I’m not weird and I don’t want you to think that because some people do and it upsets me.”

Camila is a little taken aback by the rambling, and she takes a few moments to gather her thoughts before replying. “Listen, Lauren-”

“Lauser, why did you decide to show up an _hour_ before Mila told us to?” Dinah pushes open Camila’s door and sends Lauren a teasing smirk. “I know you like being early, but _seriously_ , this is another level. Even for you.”

Lauren shifts away from Camila and Dinah sits in between them. “Sorry. Why are you here early?”

“You know why I’m here early. You texted me.” Dinah replies, before turning to Camila with a grin. “Walz. What’s the plan for the evening, then?”

“Lauren mentioned that she wanted pizza, so I figured we’d order that when the other girls come.” Camila starts, remembering something. “I thought you were giving them a ride.”

“Yeah, they’re downstairs chatting with your mom.” Dinah stands up again and nods towards the door. “I’m going to tell them that I found your room. I’ll be two seconds. Don’t get yourselves into too much trouble while I’m gone.”

Once Dinah has left the room again, Camila moves towards Lauren and sends her a comforting smile. Lauren just rocks backwards and forwards and plays with Nala. “Lauren, honey, I don’t think you’re weird. I know that there’s… Dinah told me that you have autism, and-”

“I’m sorry.” Lauren mumbles to herself. “I did not want you to know that.”

Camila’s face sinks into a frown, but she quickly composes herself. “Why not?”

“Because then you won’t want to be my friend.” Lauren stares down at Nala like her stuffed lion has the answers to the universe ready and waiting to be revealed. “I want you to be my friend because I like you.”

“I like you too, Lolo.” Camila assures her. “Do you want to know something? I thought that because you didn’t talk to me, you didn’t like me. But then you kept telling teachers that we were friends and that you wanted to sit next to me. That’s why I kept looking at you – because you said we were friends to other people, but then you never talked to me. So I asked Dinah about you, and she told me that it’s because you’re autistic. I was so _relieved_ , Lo, it was-”

“ _Lolo_.” Lauren corrects her. “That’s what you call me.”

Camila laughs. “I know. I was just really relieved because I knew that you actually did like me, so I could start talking to you more comfortably with that knowledge.”

“You definitely like me?” Lauren shuffles nervously. “You’re not going to leave?”

“I’m not going to leave, and I promise you that I like you.” Camila says. “You’re my friend, Lolo. I wouldn’t stop being your friend no matter _what_ , okay?”

Lauren taps her fingers on the bed and nods. “Okay. Yes. Camila is my friend.”

Dinah pushes the door open again and interrupts before Camila can speak. “Alright, it’s time to party. Walz, we need to know the essentials – how do we work your TV and do you have Netflix?”

Camila rolls her eyes. “I’ll be the one operating the TV. I don’t want you putting on any horror movies. I hate that kind of thing.”

“Weren’t you reading Stephen King the other day?” Ally asks her. “That’s horror.”

“That’s a book, though. It’s different.” Camila says. “Scary books don’t get to me as much as scary movies.”

Normani rolls her eyes. “Fine, for the drama queen over here we’ll settle for a comedy. Bridesmaids, maybe?”

“I could go for that.” Camila smiles. “I’m going to go online and order pizza since Lauren wants it. What do you guys want?”

They reel off their orders, and as Camila logs onto her computer to order the pizza, Lauren shuffles up next to her and watches intently. She doesn’t say anything, just sits and waits quietly as Camila orders the pizza, and then stays by her side when she puts her computer away.

When Camila turns the television on and settles down on her bed to watch the random comedy movie Dinah had picked out on Netflix, Lauren sits down next to her and stays as close as she can without touching her.

Camila is a little stunned when ten minutes into the movie, Lauren grabs hold of her hand.

“Lauren,” Camila gets the other girl’s attention and looks down at their hands, “I thought you didn’t like holding hands?”

Lauren frowns down at their hands as if she hadn’t realised they were touching, and shrugs. “I wanted to. I don’t like it when other people try to touch me, but I don’t mind it when I want to.”

“Oh, okay,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand lightly, “that’s fine then. I was just a little confused.”

Lauren hums. “I didn’t mean to confuse you. Sorry, Camila. I don’t want you to not want to be my friend because-”

“Lauren,” Camila quickly interrupts, “that isn’t going to happen. I’m not just going to stop being your friend. You don’t have to worry about that.”

Lauren pulls Nala up to her chest. “Promise?”

“Promise.” Camila assures her. She looks back over to the television and catches Dinah’s eye, sending the other girl a soft smile. Dinah sends her a knowing look back, and Camila catches her smirk when Lauren cuddles up against her.

“Comfy there, Lauser?” Dinah raises an eyebrow and brings Camila and Lauren’s current position to Ally and Normani’s attention. Ally smiles, and Normani exchanges a teasing look with Dinah.

Lauren nods into Camila’s shoulder. “Yes. Camila is warm.”

Camila wraps a gentle arm around Lauren’s waist. “Good to know that I’m being used for my warmth.”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head and looks down at her feet, her hands fiddling with one of her bracelets, “I am cuddling you because I want to. I'm not using you to get warm.”

“Lolo, I know that,” Camila laughs, “it was a joke.”

“Oh.” Lauren bites down on her lip and frowns. “Sorry. It was a funny joke. I just didn’t get it.”

Camila smiles fondly and runs her hand through Lauren’s soft hair as she turns back to the television. “God, you’re so cute.”

She hadn’t meant for Lauren to hear that. “Thank you, Camila. I think you’re beautiful.”

Camila blushes and bites down on her bottom lip. “Thank you. That’s a really lovely thing to say.”

“I like being your friend.” Lauren murmurs. “It’s like… you treat me normally. Like Dinah, Normani and Ally. I hate it when people treat me like I’m weird. Because I’m not.”

“I know you’re not.” Camila starts tracing patterns against the warm skin of Lauren’s arm, but stops when the other girl wriggles uncomfortably. “But there’s no such thing as normal, Lauren. I know you might think that, but honestly, nobody’s really normal. Everyone is different in their own way.”

Lauren hums to herself. “How are you different?”

Camila shrugs. “Sometimes I catch myself dancing and singing along to music when I’m alone in my car. Sometimes I’m easily distracted. And I have a very unhealthy obsession with bananas.”

“Oh.” Lauren takes in Camila’s answer for a moment and then smiles to herself. “Dinah is easily distracted too. That’s what our art teacher says.”

“Hey, no, that’s just-” Dinah sits up and sends Lauren an indignant glare, “If I didn’t sit next to you, she’d think I was just a normal, totally not easily distracted student. It’s not my fault that when you start a drawing, you refuse to do anything else until you’ve finished it.”

“She says I’m committed.” Lauren replies. “But you’re not. That’s why she likes me more.”

“I can be committed.” Dinah counters. “Just… when there’s not something else I’d rather be doing.”

Lauren fiddles with Nala and hugs her against her chest, curling up beside Camila. She buries her face into Camila’s neck and keeps a firm grip on her hand with the arm that’s not keeping Nala secure. “I like art class a lot. I like literature too, but I prefer art because I can create whatever I want.”

Camila smiles at her and gently traces along the length of Lauren’s bare arm with her forefinger, but pauses when the older Latina shifts uncomfortably. “You’re one of the most talented artists I’ve ever met, Lo. I’m hopeless at art.”

Lauren sits up with curiosity shining in her bright green eyes. “I want you to draw me.”

Camila snorts. “It really wouldn’t be very good. You don’t want to be subjected to that.”

“Yes, I do.” Lauren jumps up and grabs her sketchbook from her backpack, flicking over to a blank page. She pulls out a box which Camila assumes has her art supplies in it, and takes her time picking the perfect pencil. Then, she holds it out in Camila’s direction. “Draw me. Please, Camila?”

Camila looks Lauren up and down and stares into her hopeful green eyes before she takes the pencil. Really, how can she say no to her? “Okay. But it’s not going to be good. Just a warning.”

Lauren nods. “Okay. It’s okay if it’s not good. I will still put it on my wall. How do you want me to sit?”

Camila looks her over again and smiles. She’s sat cross legged in front of her on the bed, a soft smile gracing her features and her green eyes lit up. If Camila was an artist, she’d want to capture Lauren as best as she could right now. Instead, she’ll probably just end up with a stick figure on a page.

“Just stay like that?” Camila smiles as Lauren nods in agreement. “Thanks.”

As she expected, it turns out like a stick figure. She decides to make it a little more vibrant and uses the coloured pencils in Lauren’s art set to create an atmosphere around it, but then it’s basically just a stick figure with a coloured background.

She reaches for an orange pencil and frowns when Lauren slaps her hand away from it. She looks up with a frown and sees Lauren fiddling with Nala. “No orange. Orange is bad.”

“You don’t like orange?” Camila laughs. “Why not?”

“It’s bad.” Lauren says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “No orange on the picture because then I can’t put it on my wall.”

“Alright then.” Camila nods and goes for pink instead. “Is pink okay?”

“Yes.” Lauren nods. “Pink is fine. Everything but orange is fine. Orange is bad.”

“Okay.” Camila keeps on drawing until she thinks it’s done. By that point, the rest of the girls have caught onto what’s happening and turned around, watching her in amusement. When she turns it around to Lauren, she lets out an awkward laugh because she knows it’s nothing compared to the drawing Lauren had done of her. “It’s abstract.”

She hears Dinah and Normani snickering and Ally telling them to shut up, but really, Camila doesn’t blame them for laughing. It looks like a drawing a six year old would produce. Sofi could probably do better.

Besides, it’s Lauren’s opinion she’s more worried about.

Lauren looks it over for a moment and bites down on her lip. “I told you that it’d be okay if it’s not good. I will put it on my wall when I get home tomorrow.”

Camila laughs. “At least you agree that I’m not good at art. Sorry it sucks.”

“It does not suck.” Lauren shakes her head quickly and starts packing away her art supplies, organising them by colour. “It’s good because you did it for me. I like it.”

“You’re so sweet.” Camila watches as Lauren carefully tears the picture out of her sketchbook. Then, she flips to the page the portrait of Camila is on and tears it out, holding it in the other girl’s direction. Camila takes it with a frown. “What’s this for? Don’t you want to keep it?”

Lauren shakes her head and looks down at her feet. “I want you to put it on your wall.”

Camila smiles down at the drawing and nods. “Okay. I’ll put it up.”

Lauren watches her and fiddles with Nala’s ear as Camila puts the drawing up on her wall. She waits until Camila has sat back down and the other girls have turned their attention back to the movie to speak. “I’m happy you like it. At first I didn’t know how I would do it because I couldn’t get you to pose for me because I didn’t know if you’d be nice to me, so I used a picture from your Instagram. I’m glad it turned out okay.”

“I’m glad you did it.” Camila beams when Lauren curls up next to her. “I think it’s really beautiful. You’re so talented. What else do you like to do? You know, other than art.”

Lauren drums her fingers against her thigh. “I like to sing.”

“You do?” Camila is happy about that; now they have some common ground. “Me too. Do you play any instruments? I play guitar.”

Lauren doesn’t answer the question. “Will you play guitar for me?”

“Sure.” Camila nods. “Not now – we don’t want to interrupt the movie – but another time. Maybe I’ll sing for you, too.”

Lauren’s face lights up and Camila has to bite down on her lip to stop herself from smiling. “Yes. I would like you to sing to me. Are you a good singer? My mama tells me that I’m a good singer.”

“We could sing together one day, if you want.” Camila offers, and this time she doesn’t bother hiding her smile when Lauren beams. “I’ll play my guitar and we can both sing.”

“Yes. I would like to sing with you.” Lauren rests her head on Camila’s pillow and snuggles up close to the other girl, completely unembarrassed when Normani points out their position to Dinah and Ally. She doesn’t even move when Sinu walks in with the pizzas in hand and sends Camila a confused look.

At least, when Lauren spots the pizza, she sits up and takes a few slices. She doesn’t stray far from Camila and waits until she’s finished eating to curl back up beside her and watch the movie, Nala secured under one arm, and the other thrown protectively over Camila’s waist.

Camila is almost asleep when she hears Dinah speak. “Lauser looks comfy.”

“Mila looks pretty damn comfortable herself,” Normani replies with a laugh, “but I guess having Lauren virtually on top of her might be making her arm go dead or something.”

“I’ve never seen her get this comfortable around anyone so quickly before.” Ally says, and Camila hears Dinah and Normani hum in agreement. “Usually it takes months before she’ll willingly be so close to someone. I wonder what it is.”

“I think… I’m pretty sure Lo has a little bit of a crush.” Normani responds, and Camila has to admit that she’s a little shocked by the idea. Lauren has a crush on her? “I mean, she’s not said anything to me, but she never shuts up about Mila. And she’s all cuddled up to her like she’s known her for years, but it’s been two weeks.”

“She was doing one of her happy stims earlier.” Dinah notes, and Camila doesn’t know what that means. She assumes it’s something good, though. “She was rubbing her leg.”

“Do you think she’ll say anything if she does like her?” Ally asks. “Lo’s never had a crush that’s ended well before.”

Dinah scoffs. “Walz wouldn’t be mean to her if she said anything. If anything, she’d probably be flattered. Ralph’s cute.”

“Lauren being ‘cute’ hasn’t stopped people from being jerks to her before because she liked them. Remember how that Keaton guy reacted? She wouldn’t speak for weeks after that.” Camila can practically hear Normani’s eye roll. “I just don’t want her to get hurt.”

“We don’t even know if she likes her.” Ally reminds them. “None of us want her to get hurt, but Lauren might not like Mila like that. She’s only ever really liked guys before.”

“Lo isn’t exactly the most subtle person in the world.” Dinah counters. “It wouldn’t be that hard to tell. Anyway, I’m going to wake them up – I’m pretty sure that Mila will want Lauren out of her bed. The girl can be pretty clingy.”

With that, Camila hears footsteps, and then someone grabbing hold of her arm. She fakes waking up and hopes it’s convincing enough, looking up at Dinah in confusion. “What time is it?”

“Ten. Apparently you guys decided it’d be a good idea to take a nap.” Dinah moves onto waking Lauren up, which basically involves grabbing Nala and getting a slap on the arm in response. “Morning, Lauser. Come on, up. You have to change into your pyjamas.”

Lauren frowns in confusion. “It’s morning? Why is it still dark?”

Dinah rolls her eyes. “Sarcasm, Lo. It’s ten at night. You need to change.”

“Oh,” Lauren rubs at her eyes and looks around the room. “I fell asleep? When did that happen?”

“When you finished your pizza.” Normani answers. “You were out pretty quickly and Camila was gone not long after.”

Lauren watches with a frown as Dinah digs into her overnight bag and throws her pyjamas at her. “Get changed and you can go back to sleep. Mila’s bathroom is through there,” Dinah pauses to point at the door next to Camila’s closet. “Pyjamas. Now.”

Lauren picks up her pyjamas and nods at Dinah. “Okay. I’ll be right back. Bye.”

Camila watches as Lauren makes her way into the bathroom and closes the door behind her. She yawns, and pulls her own pyjamas from under her pillow, planning on going to the bathroom down the hall to get changed. What she doesn’t expect is Dinah stopping her.

“Wait. We need to talk.” Dinah folds her arms across her chest.

Camila raises an eyebrow. “We need to talk? Are you dumping me or something?”

Dinah rolls her eyes. “We need to talk about Lauren. She’s getting attached to you, and while we’re glad she’s finally settling down around you, there’s some things you need to know. She doesn’t like being touched, especially unexpectedly. The only contact she’s okay with is if she’s the one doing the touching. She’s really sensitive to touch and sometimes it can hurt her, so be patient when it comes to that. I know she's been hugging you a lot tonight, but I didn't want you to think that she'd be okay if you just grabbed her, because-"

"I know that." Camila nods. "She explained to me earlier. It's okay. If she needs me to know something, she'll tell me."

Ally smiles. "It's cute that you two are getting along so well."

Camila nods and looks towards her closed bathroom door with a smile. "Yeah. She's sweet. I think we're going to be really great friends."

“Good.” Normani smiles at her. “Now go and get changed.”

When Camila walks back into the room, Lauren is sat cross legged on her bed wearing an oversized hoodie and some Spongebob pyjama pants, her hair messy and her green eyes wide.

“Hi, Camila.” Lauren greets her with an enthusiastic smile. “Are you going back to sleep?”

“I don’t know.” Camila sits down on her bed and rests her hand in the space between herself and Lauren, so the other girl knows that it’s okay for her to hold it. “I’m quite tired, so I guess so. Why’d you ask?”

“Um,” Lauren’s cheeks turn a bright red and she shakes her head. “I don’t know. Sorry.”

“Come on, Lo,” Ally calls her and nods towards the sleeping bag Lauren had brought with her. “Let Camila get some rest if she’s tired. You can go to sleep too.”

Lauren sighs, but moves to get off the bed, and honestly, Camila isn’t planning on letting her go. “You can stay in my bed with me if you want, Lolo.”

Lauren nods as quickly as she can. “Yes. If you want me to.”

“I would love it.” Camila gets under the covers and pats the spot next to her, smiling when Lauren curls up next to her. “I like your hoodie, Lo.”

“It’s warm.” Lauren tells her. “Like you. You’re nice and cuddly.”

Camila laughs. “That’s good to know. Have you got Nala?”

Lauren holds up the stuffed toy in response. “I always have Nala. She’s my best friend. I used to take her to school with me, but I don’t anymore because I nearly lost her and people were looking at me funny for it. I don’t like it when people look at me like I’m different.”

“I know you don’t.” Camila replies and sends Lauren a soft smile. “I think Nala is adorable.”

Lauren fiddles with one of the toy’s ears and blushes. “Thank you. She is my best friend.”

“Um, actually, I think _we_ take that title.” Dinah interrupts with a smirk. “Mani, Ally and I are better friends than _Nala_. It’s nice to know how much you appreciate us, Lo.”

Lauren’s eyes widen and she shakes her head. “No, I love you guys, I just meant that-”

“Lauren,” Ally interrupts with one of her radiant smiles, “ignore Dinah. She’s just teasing you.”

“Oh,” Lauren scowls at Dinah and snuggles back up against Camila. “Dinah is mean sometimes.”

Dinah raises her eyebrows. “You love me, though.”

Lauren hums. “Yes. You’re one of my best friends. I love you guys.”

“We love you too, Lo.” Normani smiles, “Now go to sleep. We all know you’ll be a bitch in the morning if you don’t get your beauty sleep.”

“I’m not a bitch.” Lauren murmurs into Camila’s shoulder. “I just get cranky sometimes if I don’t sleep. That’s what my mom says.”

“Well, I don’t want you to be cranky. Go to sleep, Lolo.” Camila smiles when Lauren places Nala in between them, keeping a firm grip on one of the toy’s legs. “Goodnight.”

“Night, Camila.” Lauren replies, looking up at the other girls. “Goodnight, guys.”

It isn’t long before the gentle rise and fall of Lauren’s chest lulls Camila to sleep as well.


	5. Chapter 5

When Lauren wakes up in the morning, the first thing she notices is how warm she is. Her right hand is curled around one of Nala’s legs, and her left is clutched onto something else, and for a moment she’s worried because she doesn’t normally wake up with something else in her bed, but then she remembers that she’d stayed at Camila’s and they’d shared a bed.

She opens her eyes and cringes at the bright light coming in through the windows, rolling over to avoid the harsh rays of the sun and coming face to face with Camila Cabello.

“Morning, Lolo,” Camila smiles at her and squeezes her hand. “Did you sleep well?”

“Um… yeah,” Lauren nods and looks down at her feet, “your bed is comfy. Thank you for not making me sleep on the floor like everyone else.”

“Well, you didn’t seem like you wanted to sleep on the floor,” Camila laughs, “but then again, I don’t think the other girls did either. Let’s just… keep my favouritism a secret, yeah?”

“Yes,” Lauren stutters, unsure of how to reply. She glances up and meets Camila’s gaze for a moment, focusing on the warm chocolate colour of them and feeling her cheeks heating up. “I like sleepovers at your house, I think. Can I come for another one some time?”

“That’s good to know.” Camila smiles. “Of course you can-”

Camila is interrupted by a high pitched, loud voice. “Kaki!”

Lauren’s hands shoot up to cover her ears and she screws her eyes shut as something lands on the bed behind her. Nervously, she buries her face into Camila’s neck and tries to think of something else, because the voice behind her is still really loud and it’s frightening her.

Lauren feels Camila’s hand slowly weave its way through her hair. “Sofi, can you please be quiet? My friends are trying to sleep.”

“She’s not asleep.” The voice says again, but thankfully it’s much quieter this time. “Who is she?”

“This is Lauren,” At the sound of her name, Lauren looks up at Camila and blushes when the other girl sends her a warm smile. “Lauren, this is my little sister, Sofi.”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and hides her face in Camila’s neck again. She murmurs a small “Hi,” and then fiddles with Nala to calm herself down.

“I heard Kaki talk about you,” Sofi says with a frown, “she said that you had pretty eyes. Right? Is this the Lauren with the pretty eyes?”

Lauren watches as Camila reddens and shrugs. “Yeah. She does have pretty eyes. They’re a beautiful green colour. Like emeralds.”

Nervously, Lauren sits up and looks Camila’s little sister over. She doesn’t look very frightening and she’s not looking at her strangely, so Lauren thinks that maybe she’s okay. If she’s related to Camila then she must be nice, right?

“It’s nice to meet you, Sofi,” Lauren murmurs, tapping her fingers against her legs. “Camila said nice things about you yesterday.”

Sofi disregards her last statement. “You’re quiet.”

“I- um,” Lauren blushes and looks down at her feet, “yes. I am.”

“Why are you quiet?” Sofi asks her. “Are you scared? You shouldn’t be if you are, I’m smaller than you.”

It takes Lauren a few moments to untangle the two questions in her head. “Um, I- I’m not scared. I’m just- um, I don’t like meeting new people.”

Sofi frowns at her. “You’re strange.”

Before Lauren can react, Camila is scolding her little sister. “ _Sofi_ , it’s rude to say things like that. Apologise to Lauren.”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” Sofi defends herself. “She just is. Like, most people like meeting other people because that’s how you make friends. It’s strange that she doesn’t like it but that doesn’t mean it’s _bad_.”

Lauren taps out a rhythm against her thighs. “I’m not… uh, strange. I’m normal. Camila knows that because I told her.”

“I like you.” Sofi decides, shuffling a little bit closer to her. Reflexively, Lauren moves away. “I think you’re nice. I didn’t like Kaki’s other friends from our old home. They were mean. You’re nice.”

Camila takes hold of Lauren’s hand and smiles. “Lauren’s very nice. She’s a really talented artist, too. She drew that picture on my wall.”

Sofi frowns at it. “It looks like she took a photo and made it black and white.”

“She drew it in pencil,” Camila replies, looking over to Lauren for confirmation. “Right, Lolo? That’s how it’s so realistic.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “I used my best pencils because I wanted it to look perfect for you. I thought that maybe if I drew you then you would like me more and it was a special drawing so I used my best pencils.”

“Kaki can’t draw,” Sofi looks over at Camila with a smirk, “Papi says that I can draw better than she can.”

Camila scoffs. “You just don’t understand my art. Like I said last night, it’s abstract. You have to have a deep intellectual understanding to be able to get it.”

Lauren fiddles with Camila’s fingers and smiles. “I think that your art is cute and I am excited to put it on my wall when I get home. I want everyone to see it.”

Sofi moves closer to them, and Lauren moves back, her side touching Camila’s. She pulls Nala up to her chest and closes her eyes, taking in how her stuffed animal feels and tuning out whatever Camila and her little sister are talking about, but she snaps back into reality when Sofi grabs at Nala.

Lauren pulls her stuffed lion away immediately. “Don’t touch her.”

“I was just saying that I watched the Lion King with Kaki the other day.” Sofi says. “Isn’t Simba your favourite? Simba is everyone’s favourite.”

“No. Nala is my favourite.” Lauren kisses her toy’s head and her stomach twists and turns when Camila’s arm rests across her waist. “I don’t like it when people touch her. Please don’t grab her again.”

Sofi smiles at her. “Okay. I have some teddy bears in my room that I like to cuddle with, and Kaki used to have one that she slept with but she doesn’t anymore because she thinks she’s too old for it.”

Camila laughs. “You’re never too old for a stuffed animal, Sofi. I just kept knocking mine out of bed and eventually stopped putting it back in all together.”

Lauren fiddles with one of Nala’s ears and turns over to look at Camila, opting to stare at the younger Latina’s neck. “I like your sister, I think. She’s nice. What time is it? Can I have breakfast? Do you have Cheerios?”

Camila blinks and squeezes Lauren’s waist softly, and the older girl blushes and looks down at their friends, who are still all asleep. “I think we have Cheerios in the cupboard. Are you hungry?”

“Yes. I need to have my breakfast now that I’m awake and I have Cheerios every morning.” Lauren taps out a pattern against the duvet and sits up, trying to ignore the messy state that Camila’s room is in, because it’s kind of giving her a headache. “Can you show me where they are?”

“Okay,” Camila nods and gets out of the bed, motioning towards the door. “Let’s go downstairs. I’m going to feel bad if the girls wake up and we’re gone, though.”

At the prompt, Lauren stands up, making sure to take Nala with her, and follows Camila out of the room, aware of how close behind her Sofi is. She watches as Sofi quickly passes her and grabs onto one of Camila’s hands, and the younger Latina smiles and picks her little sister up.

Lauren hugs Nala to her chest and follows Camila through the unfamiliar environment, until the younger Latina leads her into a kitchen. She searches around in some cupboards and gets out a bowl, a spoon and a box of Cheerios. “Here you go, Lolo. The milk is in the fridge. I’ll be two seconds, Sofi wants to show me something she did at school yesterday.”

Lauren frowns as Camila leaves the room, because surely two seconds wasn’t long enough for her to look at whatever it was her sister wants to show her. Naturally, when Camila doesn’t return quickly, Lauren starts to worry and forgets to put the milk on her Cheerios, because she’s too busy staring at the door and tapping on her pyjama pants to remember.

When the kitchen door opens again, Lauren relaxes, but she tenses immediately when it’s not Camila or any of her other friends. Her eyes widen when Camila’s mom makes eye contact with her, and she quickly looks down at her feet, biting down on her bottom lip.

“Hello there,” Sinu greets her with a smile, “did you wake up earlier than everyone else? I know Camila isn’t one for early mornings.”

“She left.” Lauren tells her and points to the door. “With Sofi. She said she’d be two seconds but she’s been longer than that and I’m worried about her.”

“Sofia is probably trying to get her to play a game with her or something,” Sinu laughs, “she’ll be back soon.”

“But- she said she’d be two seconds.” Lauren protests. “It’s been more than that. Where is she? I'm worried because what if something is wrong? I don't want her to be hurt. I hope she's okay.”

Sinu sends her a strange look that she finds incredibly hard to decipher, but she doesn’t think it’s bad. It still confuses her though, so she grabs Nala from where she’d left her on the counter and cuddles her to her chest.

“Lauren,” Sinu gets her attention again, “you don’t need to worry. Camila will be back as soon as she can be. She probably didn’t mean to leave you on your own and-”

“ _Mom_ ,” Camila bursts through the kitchen door and her eyes widen when she catches her mother’s eye. “Please tell me you’re not telling her anything embarrassing about me.”

Sinu laughs. “Lauren was just a little worried because you were taking a long time with Sofia.”

“Oh,” Camila glances up at the clock with a frown. “I’ve been five minutes. You really didn’t need to worry, Lolo.”

Lauren frowns as Camila reaches out and tries to touch her, and backs away, her back hitting the kitchen counter. “You said two seconds but then you weren’t two seconds and I was scared that something happened.”

Camila laughs, and Lauren shuffles uncomfortably because she doesn’t know what she’s said that’s funny. She looks to Sinu, hoping for an explanation, but she just sends them a fond smile as she leaves the room with her coffee mug. 

“Saying ‘two seconds’ is like an expression, Lo." Camila explains, and Lauren's face sinks into a frown, because she doesn't like expressions. "It’s basically the same as saying that you’ll be gone for a little while, but not long. Do you get what I mean?”

“Yes,” Lauren hums, “but _why_? If you’re going to be a few minutes then just _say_ that. That expression is dumb.”

Camila smiles. “Yeah, I guess it is. You haven’t had your Cheerios yet.”

“Um,” Lauren looks down at the bowl, remembering that it’s there, “I was worried and forgot. I’m sorry, I-”

“You don’t have to apologise for that, Lo,” Camila assures her, crossing the room to the fridge to grab the milk. She puts it in front of Lauren and rubs three comforting circles on her back. The first one takes Lauren by surprise, but the second and third make her heart race and her stomach flutter. “Go ahead and eat. I’m going to make some toast. You can sit over there at the breakfast bar and then we’ll go and wake the rest of the girls up. What time do you need to get home?”

Lauren pours the milk on her cereal and sits down in the spot Camila had pointed at. “My dad told me to come home at any time, but I didn’t like that because it wasn’t precise, so I asked my mom and she said that she’ll pick me up at three before she drops Chris off at his friend’s house.”

“So, three then?” Camila asks her as the toast pops up in the toaster, startling them both. “That’s fine. I’ll ask Dinah what time she’s planning on heading out, because I think she’s giving Ally and Mani a lift home.”

Lauren hums as Camila sits down next to her to eat her toast. “If they leave earlier, will it be okay if I spend alone time with you?”

Camila frowns at her, and Lauren worries for a moment, because frowning meant something was wrong. That’s what she’d learnt at her doctor’s office. “Why would it not be okay?”

Lauren shrugs and stares down at the leftover milk in her cereal bowl. “I don’t know. Sometimes people don’t want to hang out with just me. They only invite me with the other girls to be polite.”

Something flashes in Camila’s eyes, but it’s so quick and so foreign that it all it does is confuse Lauren. She’s about to ask what it was, because Normani had always told her that if she didn’t understand something she should ask, but Camila speaks before she can.

“I invited you here because I like you. Also because my mom wanted to meet my friends.” Camila explains. “Of course I’d be fine with alone time with you, Lolo. We had alone time yesterday, remember?”

“Yes. Because I came early.” Lauren nods as she recalls their conversation from yesterday evening. “I always go places at least ten minutes early because I like to be punctual. Especially in school, because that way it’s not crowded in the hallways and I don’t get scared.”

“Yeah, it sucks when the hallways are all full,” Camila agrees with her, “You can never get anywhere. Especially if you’re stuck behind slow walkers.”

Lauren hums to herself and runs a hand up and down her thigh. “I’m glad you moved to our school and decided to be my friend. I think you’re interesting.”

“I’m interesting?” Camila replies. “How am I interesting, Lo?”

“Um- I don’t,” Lauren closes her eyes and taps on the table, “I don’t know _how_. You just are.”

Camila seems to take in her answer and then touches a hand to Lauren’s leg. The older Latina jumps out of her seat and shakes her head, because she doesn’t like it when people touch her unexpectedly, and it felt like someone had just prodded her with a burning hot curling iron.

“I’m really sorry,” Camila apologises with wide eyes and Lauren relaxes, because maybe it’d just been an accident. Maybe Camila hadn’t been trying to upset her. “I didn’t mean to frighten you, Lauren. I forgot that you don’t like it when people touch you when you’re not expecting it, and I’m kind of a touchy person. It was just… habit, I guess.”

“You weren’t trying to upset me?” Lauren asks, because her mind is racing with possibilities and she has to ask her to find out, because body language and implications confuse her.

“Of course I wasn’t trying to upset you.” Camila pats the seat next to her with her hand. “Come and sit back down. Tell me why you thought I was trying to upset you.”

Nervously, Lauren sits back down and keeps her gaze trained on Nala. “Sometimes people are nice to me but in a bad way. Like they say things but they don’t mean them but they make me think that I’m their friend and then do things I don’t like to upset me, like shout and poke me and say lots of figurative things. I thought that maybe you were doing that because I told you I don’t like it when people grab me but then you just did that anyway.”

“No,” Camila shakes her head quickly, “I really just forgot, Lo. Sometimes when people look nervous or tense I hug them or something like that to make them feel better. You looked really nervous and I just… I forgot.”

“Okay, Camz.” Lauren nods and drums on the table, not noticing how Camila’s eyes widen at the nickname. “That’s okay then. You didn’t mean to upset me.”

“I’ll ask next time.” Camila assures her. “Like right now. Can I get a hug?”

Not bothering to answer, Lauren nervously wraps her arms around Camila’s waist and buries her face into her neck. The younger Latina rubs her back, and Lauren decides that she likes it when Camila does that, because it makes her heart race and her stomach do flips.

After a few moments, Lauren pulls away and grabs Nala from the table, fiddling with one of her ears. “I think we should go and wake up everyone else, because they might be hungry and want breakfast.”

“Yeah, good idea.” Camila smiles at her and stands up, taking both Lauren’s bowl and her plate over to the sink. Then, she walks towards the door, pausing when she seems to realise something. “Come on then, Lo.”

At the prompt, Lauren stands up and walks over to Camila, keeping one hand secured around one of Nala’s legs. As they’re walking up the stairs, Lauren nervously takes hold of Camila’s hand and refuses to meet the other girl’s gaze until they’re back in Camila’s room.

Then, she lets go of Camila’s hand and walks over to Normani, sitting down next to her sleeping best friend. She pokes her a few times to wake her up, and when her friend’s brown eyes meet hers, she smiles and then relocates her gaze to her lap. “Morning, Manibear.”

“Hey, Lo,” Normani sits up and looks over to Camila, who is busy waking Ally up. “How long have you been awake?”

“Um… a little while.” Lauren says. “Camila’s sister woke us up. She’s nice. Then Camila got me some Cheerios and we ate breakfast together.”

“You and Mila had a little breakfast date, huh?” Normani laughs. “That’s cute. You two are really hitting it off, aren’t you?”

It takes her a few minutes to untangle Normani’s words in her head. “We didn’t go on a date. Dates are romantic, aren’t they? Camila just got me cereal. And yes. I think she’s wonderful.”

“It was a joke, Laurenza,” Normani replies, “I know you didn’t go on a date.”

“Oh.” Lauren hums to herself. “Yes, it was a joke. I do think she’s wonderful, though.”

Normani catches Dinah’s eye over her shoulder and sends her a look, but Lauren doesn’t bother trying to work it out. Instead, she plays with one of Nala’s ears and closes her eyes, tuning everything out for a moment until Ally calls for her across the room.

When she opens her eyes, Normani has moved from in front of her, and when she looks around the room, she realises it’s only her and Ally. “Good morning, Allycat.”

Ally smiles at her. “Dinah, Mani and Mila are downstairs getting food. Are you coming?”

“Yes.” Lauren stands up and positions Nala on the pillow she’d used last night. “Camila got me Cheerios this morning.”

“I know, Mani mentioned that,” Ally holds the door open for her and then follows her towards the stairs. “You guys are really getting along well. That’s great.”

“Yes. Great.” Lauren repeats as she pushes open the kitchen door, looking around the room and taking in her surroundings. Camila and Dinah are throwing Cheerios at each other while Normani makes a video, probably for her Instagram.

Lauren sits back down in the spot she was in before and observes as Dinah picks Camila up and parades her around the kitchen as she shouts, “Cheechee, put me _down_.”

When Dinah finally lets go of Camila, the younger Latina throws a few more Cheerios in her direction and screams in resistance. Instinctively, Lauren puts her hands over her ears and closes her eyes, because she doesn’t like loud noises and it kind of freaked her out, but she knows that Camila didn’t do it on purpose.

Less than a second later, Camila is by her side, blurting out apologies. “Lauren, I didn’t mean to scare you, oh my god, I’m so sorry, honey-”

Lauren removes her hands from her ears and shakes her head. “It’s okay. You weren’t doing it on purpose. I know that. You don’t need to apologise.”

“Okay, good,” Camila flashes her another smile and Lauren feels her cheeks heat up as the younger Latina runs back at Dinah and attempts to jump on her.

“You’re blushing, Lo,” Ally points out, sending Normani a grin. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Lauren doesn’t take her eyes off Camila. “Why would I be not okay?”

“No reason,” Normani laughs and turns to Ally, whispering something that sounds like _she’s so heart eyes_ , but Lauren doesn’t know what that means, so she figures she’s just heard her wrong.

Instead of asking, Lauren just taps her hands on the table and smiles as Camila play-fights with Dinah, blushing when Camila casts an occasional glance over at her and her stomach does a flip. She decides that she likes it when Camila smiles, because she likes the flippy feeling in her tummy.

It takes her until she’s at home and snuggling with Nala on the couch to realise what that feeling really means.


	6. Chapter 6

“Whatever, Mani. Obviously you don’t understand how great this book is.” Camila says as she flips to the page she was last at in her book, _To Kill A Mockingbird._ “I’ve read it before and all so it's not like it's new to me, but honestly, it’s so much better than all of that Nicholas Sparks romance stuff. _Especially_ better than all of those stupid movies that came out of it. Aside from maybe _The Notebook,_ because Ryan Gosling is nice as hell to look at.”

Normani rolls her eyes and beams when Dinah walks into the room with Lauren following at her heels. “Dinah, Lo, back me up here – movies are better than books, right?”

“Definitely.” Dinah sits down between Normani and Ally, leaving the space next to Camila for Lauren. Camila can’t help but think that her choice in seat was intentional. “Reading takes too much time. Movies take like two hours, tops.”

Lauren sits down and looks up, tapping her fingers on the desk. “I think that books are better. I like reading.”

Camila beams. “Thank you for backing me up, Lo. You’re right. Books are way better than movies. You get so much more detail.”

“Yes.” Lauren nods to herself and rubs her hand along her thigh quickly. “I think you are right. Movies are good too though because you get to see everything properly. Imagining things I don't know is hard sometimes.”

Camila catches Dinah and Normani sharing a look and frowns. She doesn’t know what they’re smirking at – it’s not like anything has happened – but she shrugs it off and turns back to her book.

“So, Ralph,” Dinah leans across the table with a grin on her face, “have you thought about going to homecoming?”

“I… uh,” Lauren looks over to Camila for a split second and shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s loud there. I don’t like it when it’s loud because it gives me a headache and I can't concentrate.”

“We’re all going together if you want to come with, Lo.” Ally sends her an understanding smile. “Even Mila might be coming. Right?”

Camila looks up in surprise. “I am? I mean, I wasn’t really planning on going, but if we’re doing a group thing then I guess I can come for a little while.”

“You’re going to come to homecoming?” Lauren frowns at her. “Because I have to ask my parents if I can go.”

Camila laughs. “I thought you weren’t coming? You just said you don’t like loud places, and a dance is quite loud.”

“I… um, I want to go now.” Lauren murmurs, her face turning a bright red colour. Camila catches Dinah and Normani exchange another look, but doesn’t question it. “I want to be with my friends because I love them.”

“Alright then, Lo,” Normani smiles at her, “we might end up ditching the whole group thing if we get dates, so we’ll let you know if you’re still not sure about coming.”

Lauren shakes her head. “I am definitely coming. I need to ask my parents though because sometimes they worry. Also I can't miss family night because it's important and it's part of my routine.”

“You should ask your dad,” Dinah tells her, “Papa Jauregui is generally pretty chill about stuff. Your mom tends to worry.”

“Yes. I will ask my dad.” Lauren nods to herself and rubs her hand along her leg. “I am glad we’re going to the dance as a group.”

Camila smiles. “Me too. You know, until Normani, Ally and Dinah ditch us when they inevitably get dates.”

“Hey, how do we know you won’t get a date and ditch us too?” Dinah folds her arms across her chest. “Have you seen the way the guys here have been looking at you since you showed up?”

Camila’s face sinks into a frown, and she notices how Lauren’s does the same. “I haven’t really been paying attention to guys. I’ve been more focused on settling in.”

“Actually,” Normani glances to Lauren before she speaks, and Camila follows her gaze to see that Lauren has started slowly rocking herself on her chair, “I overheard a guy in my English class talking about how he was planning on asking you to homecoming. Going by that, you're probably going to be the one ditching us for a date.”

Ally leans forward in interest. “Which guy was it?”

Normani frowns. “I think his name is Austin? I don't know, I've never talked to him before. I just overheard their conversation.”

Camila can’t say she was expecting that. A guy liked her? “Wait, really? You’re not joking?”

“Nope,” Normani shakes her head, “I heard him talking to his friend about you. He called you Camilla though, so you never know, maybe there’s a new girl with an eerily similar name to you wandering around here somewhere.”

“Huh. That’s weird.” Camila sits back in her chair, trying not to look too confused. She’s still a little shocked by the information. Eventually, she brushes it off and checks the time on her phone. “Well, whatever. I should probably get to music class. Lauren, are you going to walk with me?”

When Camila looks down at Lauren, she’s still rocking herself backwards and forwards, her face twisted into an irritated frown.

“Lo?” Camila moves a little closer to her. “Do you want to walk to music class with me?”

Lauren blinks, and nods quickly. She stops rocking, and looks up at Camila for a split second, before she glances back down at her open sketchbook. “Yes. Okay.”

Camila waits as she packs away her art supplies, and then bids a cheery goodbye to their friends as she walks out the door with Lauren by her side. The other girl is worryingly quiet, and it’s reminding Camila a little too much of before she'd assured Lauren that they were friends. She really doesn’t know what she’s done to make Lauren so quiet, but instead of avoiding it, she asks.

“Lauren, are you okay?” Camila questions, attempting to meet her friend's gaze. “You’re being really quiet. Usually you’re talking about what you’re going to do in art or something.”

Lauren hums. “I’m fine. Can I ask you a question?”

Camila sends her a soft smile. “Sure. Go ahead, honey.”

“Well… um, when Mani was talking about homecoming and dates, I was thinking, and I think that I would like a date because I've never been on a date before and I think I would like to experience it.” Lauren starts, glancing up at Camila with uncertainty written all over her face. Camila can tell that she's trying her hardest to maintain eye contact. “So, uh, I would like to ask you if you… um, would be my-”

“Hey, Camilla?”

Camila jumps in surprise at the voice and turns around, unsure if it’s actually addressing her. “Hello?”

“Hey,” A boy comes to a stop in front of her, a lopsided smirk plastered on his face. “It’s Camilla, right?”

“Camila, actually,” She politely corrects him. “Do I know you?”

“Not yet.” He replies with a grin. “I’m Austin Mahone. I was just wondering if you had a date to homecoming yet?”

“Oh, I’m going with my friends as a group thing, but I’m pretty sure they said it’d be okay if I ended up getting a date.” Camila responds. “Why do you ask?”

Austin smiles. “Would you maybe want to go with me?”

“I, uh…” Camila frowns to herself. While she doesn’t know the guy, maybe it’d be fun? She could end up having a good time. “Yeah, I guess so. Why not?”

“Awesome.” He replies. He pulls his phone out and hands it to her. “Put your number in my phone. We can get to know each other a little bit more before the dance.”

She complies, and hands it back to him with a smile. “I guess I’ll see you around then.”

“Yeah.” He smiles and turns back in the direction he came in. “Later, Camila.”

Once he’s disappeared, Camila turns back to Lauren, finding it a little hard to wipe the smile from her face. She just got asked out for the first time ever. It was a little surreal. “Anyway, sorry we got interrupted. What were you saying, Lolo?”

Lauren keeps her head down and shakes her head. “Nothing. I… uh, I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Okay.” Camila nods. “I’ll walk there with you.”

“No,” Lauren replies, a little too quickly for Camila’s liking. She rocks herself backwards and forwards on the balls of her feet. “I want to go by myself.”

Camila frowns and notices how much Lauren is fidgeting. She could’ve sworn Normani had told her that meant she was upset about something. “Are you sure? You look a little psyched out. I really think I should come with you. You don’t seem like you’re okay. Is something wrong?”

When Camila reaches out to lightly take hold of Lauren’s hand, the other girl jerks away and screws her eyes shut. “Don’t do that.”

Camila retracts her hand almost immediately. “Lauren, I need you to calm down for me. Can you do that?”

Lauren backs away from her and slides down on the floor, her back against the wall. She keeps her eyes tightly shut and shakes her head, bringing her knees up to her chest. “Go away.”

“No.” Camila kneels down in front of Lauren, aware that they’re about to be late for class. “I’m not going to leave you.”

Lauren’s only response is a whine and she shakes her head again, rocking a lot faster than before. She covers her ears with her hands and keeps her eyes tightly shut, closing herself off from Camila as much as she can.

Calmly, Camila sits down tries to think, unsure of what to do. Dinah never told her what to do if Lauren got herself worked up. She settles on a distraction – that always works on getting her mind off things. “Last night I was hanging out with Sofi and we were watching High School Musical. Turns out I still know all the words to all the songs. It’s funny how I can still remember that after all these years, but I’ve already forgotten what I did in math class this morning. I guess I have a problem with my short term memory or something.”

Lauren mumbles something, but Camila doesn’t catch it. Instead, she just keeps trying to distract her.

“I really want to meet your family one day. They sound really cool from what the girls have told me.” Camila rambles to herself. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Lauren’s curious and teary emerald eyes look up at her. Progress. “Apparently your parents are really sweet. I really want them to like me – Ally told me that they practically adopted the rest of the girls after meeting them. I think I’d like to be close with your family. I’d like to be close with you especially.”

“Yes.” Lauren stutters out. “I will- um, I will tell my mom that you- you want to come over.”

“Good.” Camila smiles. “Got to meet the family before I can be an official best friend, you know?”

Lauren frowns at her and fiddles with one of the bracelets on her wrist. She’s stopped rocking but her eyes are still shimmering with tears. “Is that a rule? I did not know that. I would have let you come over sooner. Do you want to come over soon?”

Camila laughs. “It’s not a rule, no. I just really want to meet your family sometime. I’d love to come over soon. How about you give me your phone number and you can ask your mom when you get home? Then you can text me and tell me what day I should come over.”

“Okay.” Lauren sniffles and wipes at her eyes, before she pulls her phone out of her pocket. Camila types her phone number in as a new contact, and texts herself so she has Lauren’s number too. Then, she adds her as a contact, making sure to keep her phone out of Lauren’s view when she puts her in as _Lolo Jauregui <3_.

Out of curiosity, she glances down at Lauren’s phone screen and sees that she’s saved her as _Camz_. “I love it when you call me that. Camz, I mean. You said it when you were at my house on the weekend and it made me really happy. Nobody else calls me that, so it’s like… our special thing. Lolo and Camz.”

Lauren blushes. “Yes. You’re my Camz.”

Camila stands up when she notes the time on her phone. “Well, come on. We should get to music class. We're already ten minutes late.”

Lauren cringes. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you late, I just-”

“Don’t say that,” Camila quickly interrupts her, “you can’t help it. You were upset and while I don’t know why, I’m not going to blame you. Okay?”

Lauren nods and grabs hold of Camila’s hand. “Okay. Let’s go to music class now.”

Camila lets Lauren pull her down the hallway with a smile on her face.

-

The second she gets home and flops down on her bed, Camila’s phone beeps. Automatically, she assumes that it’s Austin messaging her about homecoming, but her face breaks out into a huge grin when she reads the message on the screen.

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:18PM): Hi, Camz. :)_ ** **

Assuming that Lauren is messaging her about meeting her family, Camila sends back a quick reply.

****_Camz (4:19PM): hey lo, did u talk to ur mom yet?_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:19PM): No. I will talk to her when she gets home from work because she is out right now. So is my dad. I just wanted to talk to you._ ** **

Camila smiles at the message and immediately starts thinking about how sweet Lauren is.

****_Camz (4:21PM): ok then, what do u wanna talk about?_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:22PM): I don’t know. Things about you that I don't know yet because I want to know more about you. Do you miss your old house?_ ** **

****_Camz (4:23PM): sometimes i do but i’m really happy here. i miss some of my old friends, but i still keep in contact w/ ppl like marielle and sandra who i was rly close 2_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:23PM): What do you talk to them about when you text them?_ ** **

****_Camz (4:24PM): just the stuff i’ve been doing in school and friends i’ve been making_ ** **

****_Camz (4:24PM): they like to give me updates about people we knew and what’s going on with all of the social stuff at my old school_ ** **

It barely takes a second for Camila’s phone to beep again, but she frowns when she realises it’s not Lauren replying. It’s an unknown number.

****_Unknown (4:25PM): yo walz according to the group chat lauser is texting you right now so just letting you know that it’s kind of hard to end a text conversation with her. girl’s persistent._ ** **

****_Unknown (4:25PM): oh yeah this is dinah by the way_ ** **

Camila laughs as she reads over Dinah’s message and saves the other girl’s number to her phone. A few seconds later, her phone pings again and she gets a Facebook messenger notification that reads _Dinah Jane Hansen added you to a group chat!_ A few seconds after that, she receives a response from Lauren and neglects checking the group chat for the moment.

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:27PM): Have you told them about DJ, Ally, Mani and I?_ ** **

****_Camz (4:27PM): yup I have hahaha, i talked to them about you guys when i first met you_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:28PM): Does that mean you said bad things about me to them? Because you didn’t like me when you first met me so that means you’ll have said bad things to your friends._ ** **

When Camila reads over Lauren’s message, the guilt hits her hard. Admittedly, if she scrolled far enough back in her text conversation with Marielle, there are a few rants about how inconsiderate and rude Lauren supposedly was. In fact, the conversation was a good chronology of her and Lauren’s friendship – lately she’d taken to gushing about how cute something Lauren had done was at every chance she gets.

****_Camz (4:28PM): who says i didn’t like u when i first met u? i adore u cutie. :) <3_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:29PM): You do? Because a few people told me that you were only being nice to me because you wanted to stay friends with my friends without it being awkward. Is that true? I don’t want you to be pretending, Camz. If you don’t want to be my friend it’s okay. I know I’m kind of weird sometimes._ ** **

****_Camz (4:29PM): can i call u?_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:30PM): Okay. Why?_ ** **

Ignoring Lauren’s ‘why’, Camila goes to Lauren’s contact details and her finger hovers over the ‘call’ button. Settling on one better, she pushes the button to FaceTime her friend instead and waits for the call to connect. It only takes one ring for Lauren to pick up.

Even through Camila’s dirty phone screen, Lauren’s emerald eyes are ridiculously entrancing. “Hello.”

It comes out like ‘hallo’, and Camila has to bite her tongue to hold back her _aw,_ because it really is cute when Lauren does that. “Hey, Lo.”

Lauren shifts on the couch she’s sat on, and Camila can see that she’s hugging Nala close to her chest. “Why did you want to call me?”

“I needed to explain something to you and I’d rather do it like this than through text. I’m not pretending to be your friend just to stay close to the other girls. Not now, not ever. Ignore whoever told you that, okay? They’re dumb.” Camila quickly explains. “And didn’t I tell you that I’m weirder than you? Our friendship is kind of fitting if you think about my weirdness combined with your ‘weirdness’ – which by the way, you still haven’t proven to me – and besides, normal isn’t a real thing. Everyone’s strange. Just some more than others.”

“Okay.” Lauren easily accepts Camila’s explanation. “I believe you. I will try not to worry about it anymore.”

Camila smiles and goes to say something else, but finds herself laughing when she hears a “Lauren, who are you talking to?” and then sees Lauren fumble to hide her phone screen. “Um, nobody.”

“Lauren Michelle, I think you’re forgetting that I’m your mother and I can tell when you’re lying.” Camila hears a stern but amused voice in the background. “Who are you talking to? Do you have a friend over?”

Not bothering to save Lauren the embarrassment, Camila laughs again. “Lo, you never told me your middle name is _Michelle_. It’s cute.”

“ _Camz_ ,” Lauren scowls at her through the screen. “Shut up.”

“So you _were_ talking to someone.” A woman comes into view, sitting next to Lauren on the couch and smiling at her through the phone. Camila can see the resemblance between Lauren and her mother pretty easily. “You’re the famous _Camz_ , then. It’s nice to meet you officially. I keep asking Lauren when she’s planning on inviting her new friend over, but all I get is ‘mom, no’ and then a rant about how we might 'embarrass' her.”

Camila frowns at her friend. “You don’t want me to meet your family, Lo? Because I asked her the same thing today and she said she’d ask you if I could come over one night.”

Lauren blushes. “I just… didn’t want them to scare you off. I don’t want you to leave.”

Camila practically melts. “I’m not going to leave, Lolo. You know that. I've told you like, a million times.”

“I know, but you haven't told me a million times. Only a few.” Lauren mumbles. She turns to her mom with a flushed face. “Can Camila come over soon?”

“She can come to pizza night on Friday if you want her to sleep over too.” Her mom offers with a smile. “It’s up to Camila. I just need to know when she can come.”

“That sounds wonderful, Mrs Jauregui. I’m sure I’ll be able to come over on Friday.” She smiles. “I don’t think I have to look after my little sister, so it should be fine.”

“Call me Clara, Camila.” Clara replies. “I’ll make sure Lauren tells you what time to come over and things like that. It was nice to finally meet you. Lauren talks about you a lot.”

“It was nice to meet you too.” Camila replies as Clara leaves, and then smirks at a blushing Lauren. “You talk about me a lot, hm?”

“I, uh… no.” Lauren shakes her head quickly. “Just sometimes.”

Camila laughs, because Lauren’s a pretty terrible liar. “It’s okay if you do, Lo. We’re friends. You’re allowed to talk about me.”

“I thought that maybe you’d think it’s weird. I don’t want to do anything that will make you think that I’m not…” Lauren sighs and cuddles Nala to her chest. “I like it when people forget I’m autistic because then they don’t act different around me. That’s why I didn’t want you to know. They pretend like they’re being normal but then they talk to me like I’m a child and I hate it. You don’t pretend around me. Like Ally, Mani and Dinah.”

“Yeah, but I don’t forget that you’re autistic, Lo.” Camila replies. “That’s not something I’m going to forget. I think it’s because the rest of the girls and I are your friends so we know the things you understand and the things you don’t. We know that you’re probably smarter than all of us combined and that’s why we don’t talk down to you. You’re eighteen in June – you’re basically an adult and we know that. You just see things differently.”

Lauren blinks and seems to remember something. “When I’m eighteen I want to get a dragonfly tattoo and also I want to get something else on my arm. I really want to turn eighteen.”

“That’s cool, Lo.” Camila is a little taken aback by the subject change, but she goes with it. “Where do you want to get the dragonfly tattoo?”

“Um, my neck.” Lauren says. “The back of my neck.”

Camila watches as Lauren flips her hair over and points to where she wants it. “That’ll be really good, Lolo. It’ll hurt a lot though.”

“I know. It’s bad because sometimes when people touch me it feels like burning so I’m worried that it’ll hurt even worse for me. But then I want to do it because tattoos are art and I really like art and it's my favourite thing in the world.” Lauren rambles, before her green eyes brighten and she smiles. “Do you want any tattoos?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I will in the future, but I don’t think I’d be able to decide something like that now.” Camila replies. “I think it’s the whole ‘permanently there’ thing that scares me a little. And the pain.”

“Yes. I don’t like being hurt but I really want to get a dragonfly tattoo because it's art and I want art on my body because it will make it prettier because art is pretty.” Lauren responds and pulls Nala up to her chest. “I think it will be nice. It might not hurt too much because it wasn’t as bad as I thought when I got my nose pierced,” Lauren pauses and fiddles with her nose ring, “I wasn’t scared about that because I have two cartilage piercings on my ear up here and they didn’t hurt much.”

Camila watches as Lauren pushes her hair behind her left ear and points. “It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would so I don’t think that my tattoo will hurt too badly.”

“When did you get your piercings?” Camila asks.

“In summer this year. My mom and dad didn’t want me to do it but Dinah and Mani went to get piercings when we were out one day and they knew that I wanted to do it and convinced me.” Lauren tells her. “I felt bad for doing something my parents said no to, but I really wanted to do it. They tried to convince me to do my tattoo then too, but I promised my mom I would wait until I’m eighteen.”

“Well, I think your piercings are really cool. I’ll go with you when you get your tattoo done, too.” Camila offers. “You know, in case you need a hand to hold.”

Lauren turns crimson and nods. “Yes. I would like that. I like it when you hold my hand.”

Camila feels something jump inside her stomach and her face sinks into a frown. She brushes it off, figuring that she’s just hungry or something. Definitely not anything else.

“Yeah.” Camila lets out an awkward laugh when her phone buzzes and she sees she has a text from Austin. “Anyways, Lauren, I have to go. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

Lauren frowns. “Why do you have to leave?”

“I, uh, just got a message from Austin about homecoming.” Camila watches as Lauren practically deflates. “I’ll text you later, okay, Lo?”

Lauren nods dejectedly and Camila feels her throat knot. “Okay. Bye, Camz.”

Lauren is the one to hang up.

Once Camila stomachs her guilt, she puts on a smile that’s almost entirely fake and goes to read Austin’s text.

****_Austin (5:08PM): hey babe hows ur nite going do u wanna talk homecoming plans_ ** **

For some reason, as she types out her reply, Lauren is all that’s on her mind.


	7. Chapter 7

Lauren swings their hands as she pulls her along the street. “We’re not too far away now.”

“I’m just going to trust you on this.” Camila laughs. “For all I know, you could be taking me out to a cabin in the woods to sacrifice my soul to Satan.”

“Is that a joke?” Lauren asks her as she abruptly turns them around a corner. “I don’t want to sound dumb if I take it like it’s not a joke. I think it is, though.”

“Ding, ding, you’re correct,” Camila tries to make herself sound like a game show host, but it really doesn’t work very well. “Yeah, it was a joke. I don’t really think you’re a Satanist, Lo. You’re too sweet to be a devil worshipper.”

Lauren blushes and leads her up a driveway. “Thank you. You’re sweet too.”

Camila feels Lauren drop her hand as she goes to unlock the front door to the house they’re in front of. “So… this is definitely your house, right? Like I said, we could be anywhere. For all I know I could be your accomplice in a hardcore robbery.”

Lauren laughs, and Camila decides that hearing Lauren laugh is one of her favourite sounds in the world. “No. This is my house. We’re home alone until four because Chris likes to go to the mall with his friends after school and Taylor has soccer on Friday and doesn’t get home until the same time as my mom. My dad gets home at four though.”

“Alright then.” Camila pulls her phone from her pocket and checks the time. “We’ve got half an hour alone time, then. What do you want to do?”

“Um… I don’t know.” Lauren looks around and closes the front door behind them. “I could, uh, give you a house tour? If that’s okay.”

Camila watches as Lauren rocks herself backwards and forwards on her heels. “That’d be wonderful. Now that I think about it, I probably should’ve given you a tour of my house, too. Anyway, I’m excited to see your house. Especially your bedroom.”

Lauren flushes and taps her fingers against her pants. “Yes. I will show you everything. Um…” she pauses and circles her hand around Camila’s wrist, pulling her forwards. “So, uh, this is the lounge… it’s where we eat on pizza night and watch TV. I, um- Camz, what are you doing?”

Camila freezes when Lauren stares down at their hands with wide eyes. While Lauren had just grabbed Camila’s wrist, the other girl had moved so their fingers were interlocked. “I’m holding your hand, Lolo. Is that okay?”

“Um… yeah.” Lauren blinks down at their hands and swallows, rocking on her heels again. “So, uh, I guess I’ll- I’ll show y-you the other-”

“Lauren?” Camila interrupts her and squeezes her hand softly. She feels Lauren’s fingers wiggle between hers and smiles. “Don’t be nervous. It’s just me.”

“I… um, I’m trying not to be.” Lauren looks down at her feet and lets go of Camila’s hand, clenching and unclenching the fingers on both hands repeatedly. Camila figures it’s one of the stims Dinah told her about. “It’s just hard.”

Camila tries to meet Lauren’s gaze. “Why is it hard?”

“It’s just that… I mean, I’ve hung out with you with the girls and stuff, and we’ve had that FaceTime talk, but…” Lauren sighs and sits down on the couch, tapping out a rhythm on her thighs. “I’ve never spent time with you alone before. Not properly. It’s scary.”

“So… you’re worried that you’ll say or do something you think is ‘odd’?” Camila asks.

Lauren nods. “Yeah. Because Mani, Ally and Dinah aren’t here to tell me what’s okay.”

“They might not be here, but I am.” Camila points out. “And I’m your friend as much as they are. If you ever say something that upsets me, I’ll let you know, okay? I don’t want you to hold yourself back around me. I like you for you – I don’t want some watered down version of my Lolo whenever we hang out alone.”

Lauren blushes. “Thanks. Can we… um, save the house tour for later? I think we might need an excuse to get away from my family, anyway. They can be sort of… overbearing?”

Camila laughs. “You think they’re going to embarrass you, right?”

“Yeah.” Lauren admits. “I guess it’s because I don’t know what to expect. Ally, Mani and Dinah have known me since third grade, and I haven’t had any friends meet my parents since they did. It’s kind of scary, honestly.”

Camila frowns. “What were they like when they met the other girls?”

“I mean… they were fine, but they told them things I didn’t want them to know.” Lauren shrugs and gazes down at her feet. “It was only third grade through. Things that… um, some problems that I have now are worse than problems I had back then. I don’t want my parents to tell you anything I don’t want you to know.”

Camila’s frown sinks even further into her face and she takes hold of Lauren’s hand again. She tries not to be offended when Lauren pulls away. “What kind of problems do you have, honey?”

Lauren gulps and looks up at her with wide eyes. “I… um, I don’t want you to know that. I’m sorry. It’s just, there are some things that I don’t like telling people and you know one of them and I was really angry at Dinah for telling you and-”

“Calm down, baby,” Camila can sense that Lauren is getting herself worked up, “You don’t have to tell me anything. Were you angry at Dinah for telling me you’re autistic?”

“Yes.” Lauren nods. “I didn’t want you to know. Not until I was comfortable telling you. That’s for me to tell people. Not her. It's my thing to tell people about.”

“While it would’ve been nice to get it from you, I’m glad Dinah told me.” Camila admits. “It was kind of a relief because I thought you didn’t like me.”

Lauren’s eyes widen. “I could never not like you! You’re Camz, you’re wonderful. I remember when Dinah introduced you to us, and while I was kind of frightened because I didn’t know you, you talked to me and asked me things about myself and it was lovely.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “Well, yeah, I was just being polite. I thought you were cute.”

Lauren blushes. “I… um, I thought you were beautiful. That’s another reason why you scared me. Pretty girls scare me.”

“Pretty girls scare us all, Lauren,” Both Lauren and Camila jump out of their skin when a voice speaks behind them. Camila turns around to see a man she assumes – and _hopes_ – is Lauren’s dad. Otherwise they’re probably about to get murdered. “This must be Camila? Michael Jauregui. I’m Lauren’s dad.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr Jauregui.” Camila sends him a polite smile and looks to a nervous Lauren in an attempt to comfort her.

“It’s just Mike to you, Camila.” Mike smiles at her. “Anyone who makes my little girl as happy as you do automatically is on first name basis.”

“ _Dad_ ,” Lauren scowls at him. “Don’t say that stuff.”

“Now you know how I felt when you met my mom.” Camila laughs. “Remember? She kept telling you a bunch of embarrassing stuff I told her about you.”

Mike laughs. “I guess someone is getting her payback. Lucky for Lauren, Clara’s the one she gushes to. I _do_ know that you’re ‘the sweetest person ever’, though.”

Camila scoffs. “Nope, that title goes to Lauren. I guess I’m a close second, though.”

Lauren blushes. “ _Camz_.”

“Yes, Lo?” Camila raises her eyebrows and flashes her friend an innocent smile. “Don’t be shocked because I told the truth. You’re the sweetest person I know.”

“No- but, I- don’t,” Lauren shakes her head and Camila laughs. “You can’t-”

“Lauren, I can give you as many compliments as I want. You’re one of my best friends.” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “It’s like, my _duty_ to compliment you. Especially since the things I say are true. It would be bad to just let you be oblivious to your adorableness.”

Lauren’s face turns so red that she looks like a distant relative of a tomato. “Camz.”

Camila laughs and turns back to Mike. “So, Lauren tells me we’re getting pizza tonight?”

Mike hums in confirmation. “We have pizza every Friday. It's like an unofficial family time because everyone sits downstairs and it makes a little weekly routine. Lauren likes her routines.”

Lauren wiggles her fingers and nods. “Yes. Routines are good. It’s like- um, it helps me understand because I can plan ahead.”

Camila feels Lauren take hold of her hand again and smiles. She loves it when Lauren initiates contact. It means the other girl is settling around her. “Well, I’m sorry for inviting you to my place on a Friday. Didn’t mean to ruin your routine, Lo.”

“I know,” Lauren smiles at her. “I liked going to your house. You let me have pizza and you cuddled me. You’re warm. Like Nala.” Lauren turns to her dad with wide eyes. “Um, Camila and I are going upstairs. To my room. Is that okay?”

“Of course it’s okay, Lauren,” Mike laughs, “You always go upstairs with your friends. Why would this be any different?”

“Well, when Chris brings girls home, you always tell him that he’s not allowed in his room with them or that he has to keep his door open.” Lauren replies, and Camila has to bite her tongue to stop herself from laughing. “And I don't like open doors, so I thought I should ask. Or is it different for me?”

Mike sends Camila a knowing smile. “It’s fine, Lauren. Go on upstairs.”

Lauren nods and tugs Camila up the stairs. “My room is up here.”

“Okay, Lolo,” Camila smiles, “You seem a lot more excited now.”

“Yes, because we are going to have a sleepover and I like spending time with you.” Lauren’s fingers wiggle against Camila’s and the older Latina pushes open a door and flicks the light on. “This is my room. It is tidier than Chris and Taylor’s rooms because I can’t function in a messy environment. I hate mess.”

Camila laughs. “How did you survive in my room, then? I’m inherently messy.”

“Um, I wasn’t focused on that.” Lauren murmurs as she closes the door behind her. “Are you okay with having the door closed? I don’t like open doors.”

“That’s fine, Lolo,” Camila sits down on Lauren’s bed and pats the spot next to her. Lauren sits down, but Camila notes the distance the other girl keeps between them. “What were you focused on at my house?”

“Um, I- uh, you,” Lauren blurts out, turning bright red again. “I was focused on you.”

Camila smiles, and holds her arms out. “That’s sweet. Can I get a hug, Lo?”

“I, um- yes,” Lauren shuffles forward and buries her face in Camila’s shoulder, wrapping her arms around the other girl’s waist. “Camz, I think that- um, I think that you’re amazing. Thank you for coming over.”

Camila takes in Lauren’s beautiful scent and nods, tangling her fingers in Lauren’s raven hair. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t think you were equally as amazing. Also, you know, there was a bonus of pizza. I get two of my favourite things in one night – Lolo and pizza.”

Lauren laughs, and the sound makes Camila’s stomach jolt. “I’m your favourite though, right?”

“Right.” Camila nods and tries to shake off whatever had just happened. “So, are you taking anyone to homecoming? I think the other girls all have dates now, so I’m pretty sure the group thing is off.”

“I know,” Lauren nods and detaches herself from Camila, shaking her head. “I’m not going anymore.”

“What?” Camila frowns. “You can’t not go. I was looking forward to hanging out with you there.”

Lauren’s face twists into an irritated glare. “You’ll be too busy with Austin. I don’t like him.”

“Lauren, you can’t just say stuff like that.” Camila shoots back. “You don’t even know him. You can’t dislike him if you don’t know him.”

Lauren sighs. “He doesn’t deserve you. He’s bad. I can tell.”

Camila scoffs. “Yeah, like _you_ could tell something like that. You can’t even-” Camila stops herself when she sees Lauren tense up next to her and realises what she had been about to say. _No_ , she wasn’t going to let a little disagreement ruin everything she’d built with Lauren. She wasn’t going to say anything to hurt her. “Lauren, you have to just… remain neutral on him. You don’t know him, there’s no way you can possibly know he’s ‘bad’.”

“He’s like- he’s like the colour orange. It makes me upset and gives me a headache and I _hate_  it.” Lauren mumbles. “You’re like… blue. A beautiful baby blue that I like a lot.”

Camila frowns. “What do you mean?”

“You’re just- _blue_.” Lauren emphasises the word as if that explains it. “It makes me happy. You make me happy.”

Camila feels that jolt in her stomach again and tries ignoring it. “You make me really happy too, Lolo. Especially when you say things like that.”

“You get it?” Lauren looks up at her and Camila honestly feels like she could get lost in her gorgeous emerald eyes. “You’re blue. Baby blue.”

“Yeah,” Camila takes hold of Lauren’s hand and hums. “I’m blue. And you’re emerald. Like your eyes.”

Lauren looks at her like she’s just won a million dollars. “Yes. Blue and emerald.” She’s silent for a moment and then looks towards her television. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Sure, honey,” Camila nods and moves so she’s leaning against the headboard of Lauren’s bed, pillows behind her. “What movie are we watching?”

“Um,” Lauren turns on her television and opens Netflix, holding the remote out to Camila. “You pick. You’re my guest.”

“Whoa, very courteous,” Camila smiles as she takes the control, “you’re such a good host, Lo.”

“Thank you,” Lauren shuffles so she’s sat next to Camila, her left side touching the other girl’s right side. Camila uses her left hand to navigate through the different movies and holds Lauren’s with her other. “I think I’d like to cuddle with you later. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” Camila nods, “I like cuddling with you.”

“You do?” Lauren asks her as Camila picks a random movie and hopes that it’s okay. “I heard Dinah tell Normani that she thinks I might be getting too clingy. I’m sorry if-”

“Ignore Dinah,” Camila interrupts her. “If you were being clingy, I would’ve told you that myself. I like being around you anyway, so if you’re clingy, I am too.”

Lauren smiles to herself and plays with Camila’s fingers. “Good. I hope you have fun at homecoming, Camz. Even if I don’t like your date.”

“There you go again, being the sweetest person ever.” Camila replies with a smile. “I will. I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve been talking to Austin a lot over text and he seems so cool, and I think maybe I might like to go out with him again after the dance.”

Lauren seems to tense up and taps her fingers against her pants. “Oh.”

“Yeah, and maybe if that goes well, I think he could end up…” Camila sucks in a breath and smiles, “being my boyfriend. You know, if everything goes well, like I said. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but the fact that my first relationship could be on the horizon makes me so…” Camila trails off and looks down at Lauren with a frown. The older Latina is playing with Nala and staring off into space. “Lauren, are you even listening to me?”

“Sorry,” Lauren looks up in surprise. “It’s just, you were getting quite boring so I started thinking about interesting things like what I’m going to paint next. I think I’m going to wake up early and do a sunrise but ignore the orange in it because I don’t like orange.”

Camila feels a little offended that she’s been branded as ‘boring’, but she knows that Lauren doesn’t mean it in a bad way. She probably doesn’t even know that it’s impolite to say that.

So, Camila decides to enlighten her.

“Lauren,” Camila starts, uncertain, “it’s kind of rude to tell people they’re boring. You know that, right?”

“Um, no. Well, yes, but...” Lauren shakes her head and looks down at her feet, suddenly looking a lot smaller than she had a few seconds ago. “I’m sorry, Camz. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just telling the truth. I get it if you’re mad at me.”

Sure, maybe if they were still in the beginning stages of their friendship, she’d be mad. But not now that she knows about everything. Not now that’s she’s promised herself to be as understanding as she can.

“I’m not mad at you, honey,” Camila assures her, hating how tiny Lauren has made herself. “Even if you’re bored, you’ve got to listen to what people are saying. It’s just politeness.”

“Oh,” Lauren nods and fiddles with Nala. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Lolo,” Camila threads her fingers through Lauren’s and kisses the other girl’s temple, half expecting her to jerk away. Instead, Lauren curls into her and buries her face in her shoulder. “Don’t be upset about it. You didn’t mess anything up.”

“Promise?”

Camila looks down and stares into Lauren’s bright green eyes. Linking her pinky finger through the other girl’s, she nods. “Promise.”

-

Lauren snaps her fingers three times as she leads Camila down the stairs at her parents’ call. Even though Camila had promised she understood that parents can be embarrassing, she’s still nervous, because she has no idea what to expect. She can’t really remember when the other girls met her parents, and she doesn’t know the expected structure of the interaction that’s about to happen, and that’s absolutely terrifying, because her parents could say something and scare Camila away, and Lauren won’t be able to tell what happened that was bad.

Camila seems to sense that something is wrong – honestly, Lauren wishes she could do the same for her – and sends her a soft smile. “Don’t worry, Lo. Everything will be fine. I should be the nervous one, I need to get your parents’ approval and all.”

“They already like you because they know you make me happy.” Lauren tells her, and it’s true because she’s told her mom a lot of things about Camila. “I’m just worried that they’ll tell you things I don’t want you to know.”

“Even if they do, I won’t judge you.” Camila promises her. “You’re my friend. Friends don’t judge.”

“But…” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, “I don’t want you to think I’m weird.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Lauren, I already told you that I’m weirder than you. If anything, me thinking you’re weird too would just make us even better friends.”

“Okay,” Lauren carefully grabs Camila’s hand and leads her towards the living room, sitting down in her usual spot on the couch. She taps the space next to her like she’s seen Camila do before, and she knows that it means ‘sit down’. When the younger girl sits on the couch next to her, Lauren takes her hand again and turns to her mom, who is walking into the room with pizza boxes. “This is Camila.”

“I know,” Clara replies with a laugh, “we met on that FaceTime talk a few weeks ago. It’s nice to actually meet you in person though, Camila. Lauren has told me wonderful things.”

Clara hands Lauren a pizza box which she knows contains her usual order of pepperoni. Most of the time she’d order a small pizza and have it all to herself, but she decided that she would be a good host and share with Camila, because she wants Camila to come over for more sleepovers in the future, and her mom had told her she needed to make the first one good so she’d come back.

Lauren tunes out as she eats, aware that Camila and her parents are talking, and she knows that her siblings are probably teasing her, but she doesn’t really care, because she’s too busy marvelling over Camila’s side profile. She likes being able to look at Camila, because she knows that her feelings towards her are slightly more than platonic, and she’s already decided that the most she can do is look at her, because she’s not going to tell her. Lauren doesn’t want to do anything that might ruin their friendship, because she likes spending time with Camila, and she can get over a crush. She’s done it before. Camila likes Austin, anyway.

Besides, Camila might be angry at her if she finds out she has a crush on her. Most people usually are.

She doesn’t talk much throughout dinner – she’s far more concentrated on her food, rearranging the pepperoni on her half of the pizza so there’s three pieces on each slice – but whenever her parents mention her name, she’s sure to look up and tune into the conversation to see if they’re saying anything bad about her to Camila.

Most of the time they’re just telling Camila about the things Lauren has said about her, and trying to get the older girl into the conversation, but when she hears her parents start talking about sensory overload, she’s quick to intervene.

“Mama,” Lauren puts down her slice of pizza, “I don’t want her to know about that. She doesn’t need to know.”

Clara sighs, “It’s important that you tell Camila things. If she’s going to be your friend, she needs to know what to do if you go into sensory overload or if you have a meltdown or-”

“Don’t _say_ that,” Lauren drums out a rhythm on her leg. “You’re not supposed to tell her things. Not without my permission. I don’t want her to think I’m different.”

“Lauren,” Mike starts, “your friends need to know things like this. We know that you don’t like telling people about your needs and-”

“I don’t- I don’t have _needs_ ,” Lauren closes her eyes and hums to herself, snapping her fingers three times. “I don’t want you to tell her things. She’s my friend. She let me sleep over at her house and I drew her and- um, she knows about Nala and she’s my friend so she’s not going to judge me but I still don’t want her to know things yet.”

Clara huffs. “Lauren, honey, you don’t understand. We need to make sure that if you’re ever in trouble and you’re just with Camila, that she knows what to do. Sometimes calming you down is hard and-”

“Camila is good.” Lauren interrupts, staring down at her feet. “She will not make me upset. She’s good. She’s blue.”

Camila smiles at her and Lauren catches it out of her peripheral vision. She blushes, because it makes her stomach feel funny when Camila smiles at her, and it makes her feel good to know that she’s made her happy. That’s why she didn’t say anything bad when Austin asked Camila to homecoming, because Camila was smiling and if she was happy, Lauren didn’t want to ruin that.

“I know that you don’t want me to know some things just yet.” Camila says, shooting a nervous glance at Lauren’s parents. “But I feel like some of the things they’re telling me are important. Like the whole sensory overload thing. I didn’t know that could happen, and I wouldn’t know what to do in that situation.”

“But- I don’t want you to know,” Lauren murmurs, unsure as to why Camila isn’t understanding. She’s being clear, isn’t she? “I don’t want you to know.”

“I know that,” Camila’s tone is soft and gentle and the younger Latina’s voice makes Lauren’s stomach flutter. “I only need to know the important things, honey. Like what to do if you get upset. I just want to look after you and be a good friend.”

“I’m your Lolo,” Lauren remembers, thinking back to the other week at Camila’s house. “I’m your Lolo and you’re my Camz. And- um, we’re best friends. I think that you are wonderful.”

“I think you’re wonderful too, Lo,” Camila assures her, “but your parents need to tell me a few things. For your benefit. Are you okay with them telling me what to do if you go into sensory overload?”

“Um…” Lauren trails off and looks down at her feet, humming to herself. “Okay. For- um, for my benefit I will let them tell you that. But nothing else.”

“Okay. Good.” Camila slowly squeezes Lauren’s hand and the older Latina flushes. Chris and Taylor send her a teasing look, but it takes her a while to decipher it and she still doesn’t really know what it means when she realises they’re teasing her.

She tunes out again and focuses on eating her food, her family’s conversation blurred out into the background, their words forming some sort of jumbled mess. To stay relaxed, Lauren closes her eyes and hums to herself as she eats her pizza, and when she’s finally finished, she spends her time fiddling with Camila’s fingers as the younger Latina eats.

Once she notices that Camila has finished her food, she traces three circles on the younger girl’s palm and looks towards the door. “Do you want to go upstairs and watch TV? We can watch a movie or a documentary. I like documentaries especially because they are based on fact and I like learning things about the world.”

“We can watch a documentary if you like, Lolo,” Camila says, and Lauren is aware of how her chocolate brown eyes are watching her finger’s every move as it traces up and down the length of Camila’s forearm. “What do you want to watch a documentary about?”

It takes Lauren a while to think of an answer, because her mind is onto other topics. “Your skin is very soft. It’s nice and I think that doing this is relaxing,” she traces three more circles on Camila’s palm, “I like the number three. That’s why I did that three times.”

“That’s nice,” Camila comments, “but you didn’t answer my question. What do you want to watch a documentary about?”

“Um- I, uh, I like space.” Lauren tells her. “I think it’s interesting and I have lots of documentaries about it.”

“We’ll watch a space documentary then.” Camila smiles, her fingers closing around Lauren’s. “Are you ready to go upstairs, Lo?”

“Yes.” Lauren nods and lets Camila lead her back upstairs and towards her bedroom. Camila closes the bedroom door behind them and Lauren smiles, because Camila remembers that she doesn’t like open doors and she thinks that’s wonderful.

Camila reaches under Lauren’s pillow and pulls out her pyjamas, holding them out. “You should get into your PJs now. I’ll go change into mine in the bathroom and then we can watch a documentary and cuddle.”

“About space.” Lauren reminds her, because she doesn’t want Camila to forget what they’re watching. “We’re going to watch a documentary about space.”

Camila hands Lauren her pyjamas with a smile. “Yeah. And we’re going to cuddle. You can’t forget about the cuddling.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods as she unfolds her pyjamas. “Can I do that thing again? Where I play with your hand?”

“Of course.” Camila replies, heading into the bathroom. “I’ll be two seconds.”

Lauren gets changed into her PJs, knowing that Camila isn’t really going to be two seconds and that she’ll actually be a few minutes, because she’s explained that before. Once she’s changed, she gets under the covers of her bed and pulls Nala up to her chest, scrolling through Netflix to find the perfect documentary to show Camila. She eventually settles on one she’s seen before, and hopes that Camila won’t get mad if she talks through some of it, because after watching documentaries Lauren likes to do extra research and learn about the topic properly.

“I’m back,” Camila announces her presence and gets under the covers of Lauren’s bed, shuffling over to her. Lauren notes that she keeps a small gap between them. “Are you okay with cuddling me now, Lo? I didn’t want to just grab you in case I frightened you.”

“I want to do that thing again, where I play with your hand.” Lauren voices her train of thought. “And I want you to hold me while I do it and we can watch a space documentary and I picked one that I’ve already seen because I want to tell you some facts about the things that happen in the show because it’s interesting.”

Camila takes that as a yes and wraps her arms around Lauren, and while it feels a little weird at first for the older girl, she snuggles her face into Camila’s neck and smiles.

Camila lets out a soft laugh. “Are you going to play the documentary, Lo?”

“Oh, yes,” Lauren pushes the play button on her TV remote and then moves up next to Camila. She grabs the younger girl’s hand and traces three circles on her palm. “I like the number three. Did I tell you that?”

“You mentioned it downstairs, yeah,” Camila reminds her, “why do you like the number three, Lo?”

“It makes sense.” Lauren replies easily, snuggling her face back into Camila’s neck. “I think- um, I’m starting to trust you like I trust Ally, Manibear and DJ.”

“You trust me?” Camila beams. “Good. That’s great.”

“Starting to trust.” Lauren corrects her, because it takes her a while to completely trust someone and she doesn’t know all of Camila’s motives yet. “I want to have more sleepovers with you. My mom told me that I should- um, make this one good so you’ll want to come back for more. Is that okay?”

“That’s perfectly okay.” Camila nods. “You and I can hang out any time you want. You have my phone number; all you need to do is text me when you want to see me and if I’m free I’ll come and see you.”

“Well, I don’t know about that, because I like planning things.” Lauren says. “I like precise plans so I know exactly what we’ll be doing and when it’s happening and all of the details so it’s not unexpected and I can prepare myself for what we’re doing.”

“Okay, well… text me a few days in advance, then.” Camila replies. “Or call me. Whatever you like.”

“I will.” Lauren nods, because the thought of organising more time with Camila makes her happy. “Maybe- um, you should come to pizza night again next week! We can watch more documentaries and-”

“Lauren, I’d love to,” At Camila’s words, Lauren’s heart rate picks up. “But- um, I can’t. It’s homecoming next Friday. Maybe the week after, though.”

“Oh. Yes. I forgot.” Lauren’s stomach drops and she lets out a small sigh. “You are going on a date with Austin.”

“Yeah.” Camila sighs too, but hers is a different type of sigh. She’s smiling, so Lauren assumes it’s good. “I’m really looking forward to it, actually. I’ve never been on a date before, so it’s a little scary. Exciting, but scary.”

While it hurts Lauren to hear her talking about her impending date with Austin, the older Latina just shrugs and fiddles with Nala. “Um… well, is going to homecoming with him making you happy?”

Camila smiles. “Yeah. Very happy.”

“Then… it’s okay. I’m happy for you.” Lauren replies easily, because she really means it. Seeing Camila happy is important to her. “You deserve to, um, have a good first date. With him. Because you’re wonderful and you need to have a wonderful time.”

“You’re such a sweetheart, Lolo,” Camila kisses Lauren’s temple and the older Latina lets out a small whine, because her heart is pounding and her stomach is wriggling and she really wasn’t expecting that. “You still have some time to find a date if you want to come along. It’d be nice to have you there.”

“I- no,” Lauren shakes her head, because there’s nobody else she wants to go with other than Camila, and she didn’t even really want to go to the dance in the first place. The only reason she’d considered it is because she thought she’d get the courage to ask Camila to go with her as a date. “It will be too loud and it will upset me. I don’t want to go at all.”

“You were thinking about going before.” Camila points out, and Lauren really hopes that she won’t ask why because she’s not good at lying and she doesn’t want to tell Camila why she’s changed her mind. “Why don’t you want to go now? Do you think we’ll leave you out or something and be too interested in our dates?”

“Can you not ask so many questions?” Lauren closes her eyes and hums to herself. “All of your words are mixing together and I can’t- I don’t understand.”

“Okay,” Camila spreads Lauren’s hand out and traces a circle on her palm three times, and it really helps to calm Lauren down. “Why don’t you want to go to homecoming, baby?”

The pet name makes Lauren’s stomach flip and she shrugs. “Don’t want to. Too loud. Um- there’s nobody… I want to go with.”

“Oh, okay.” Camila’s arm settles over Lauren’s stomach. “I could ask Dinah to set you up with someone, if you really want. I’m sure she could find a nice boy – or girl – for you. Whatever you’re into.”

“Girls are pretty.” Lauren instantly replies. “I have always liked girls. Some boys are nice too but they’re loud and sometimes smell bad. Girls always smell pretty.”

“Are you gay, Lo?” Camila asks. “I won’t have a problem with it if you are, I’m actually bi, I was just wondering.”

“No- I’m not, um, gay.” Lauren taps her fingers on Camila’s arm. “I think I’m bi too. But- um, I like girls more because they smell nice.”

Camila laughs. “You’re right, girls do smell nice. I’m actually the opposite to you, though. I’ve always preferred boys. I’ve only ever had one real crush on a girl, but it didn’t work out.”

“I have had crushes before.” Lauren tells her, fiddling with Camila’s hand. “I don’t like having a crush on someone though. It upsets me.”

“Crushes are pretty frustrating, I’ll give you that.” Camila says, and Lauren’s happy that Camila understands. “That’s why I’m happy about the whole Austin thing. I don’t have a crush on him but he still seems nice. This date gives me a chance to get to know him and develop feelings.”

Lauren frowns, because she doesn’t want Camila to develop feelings for Austin. Lauren wants Camila to develop feelings for _her_. “Oh.”

“Like I said earlier,” Camila continues on with a smile on her face, “we might even go on a couple more dates. If this one goes well and all.”

Lauren frowns even more, and while she feels bad for hoping that Camila’s date doesn’t go well, she doesn’t like Austin. She knows he’s bad, because he poked and prodded at her in the hallways sometimes and she doesn’t like that, because she doesn’t know him. He’s not allowed to touch her if he doesn’t know her, but he does anyway. And there was that one time when it had been a particularly bad day and Lauren had brought Nala into school, and he’d taken her away and called her a _freak_.

Which she isn’t. She isn’t a freak. She’s perfectly normal and her friends know that.

She _isn’t_ a freak.

“You’re not listening again.” Lauren snaps back into reality at Camila’s stern tone. “Why aren’t you listening? Lauren, I told you that sometimes you have to listen-”

“I’m sorry,” Lauren is quick to apologise and snuggles Nala up to her chest. “I was sort of listening. I was thinking about things related to what you were taking about. Like- um… Austin.”

Camila frowns. “Why were you thinking about him?”

“Well… uh, I- I… no reason.” Lauren decides not to tell Camila. She was going to tell her earlier, but going to homecoming with him was making Camila happy, and she didn’t want to ruin that and make Camila mad. “I’m sorry I wasn’t listening. Sometimes I just… tune out.”

Camila sends her a look, but she doesn’t know what it means. “Why do you tune out, Lo?”

“Well… when I’m not interested or when I think about other things.” Lauren explains. “Or when- um, when someone says something and it triggers thoughts about that thing and then I get lost in my train of thought. I don’t mean to be rude, I just- I can’t help it sometimes. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologise for that, Lolo,” Camila squeezes her hand. “You can’t help these things, and I know you’re not trying to upset me. You’d never do that intentionally and I know that.”

Lauren picks up on a few of the things Camila has said and frowns, because if Camila knows she’d never upset her intentionally, does that mean she’s upset her unintentionally and she just couldn’t tell? “Have I ever upset you without knowing it?”

Camila looks at her for a moment and shrugs. “I mean, it’s kind of upsetting when I’m telling you something I’m excited about and you tune out. I want to talk about my impending date with one of my best friends and it just kind of hurts when I realise you’re not hearing a word I say.”

“I don’t mean to not hear it.” Lauren assures her. “It just _happens_. Please don’t be mad at me for that. I can’t- I wish I could…”

“Lauren,” Camila interrupts her, “It’s not a big deal, honestly. I’ll just talk to Dinah about the whole Austin thing if you’re not interested. It’s okay.”

Lauren sighs, because she wants to tell her that she _is_ interested in Camila’s life, but it hurts to hear when she rambles on about the person she likes, because Lauren wants to be the person she likes. “I want you to be happy, Camz. Tell me more about- um, your date. I want to be a supportive best friend. Tell me things and I will try to listen.”

Camila pauses for a second, but when she starts talking about her upcoming date again, Lauren tries her best to pay attention, even if it upsets her to hear, because she was going to ask Camila to be her date, and she wishes that they were talking about this together and organising things and planning the night out. But they’re not, and that’s okay, because Camila is happy.

And that’s enough for Lauren.


	8. Chapter 8

When there’s a knock on the front door, Camila is ecstatic, because her first official date is about to begin. She’d enlisted her friends to help her get ready, and she was a little disappointed when Lauren didn’t accompany Ally, Normani and Dinah to help her, but she didn’t voice her disappointment, because Lauren isn’t who she should be thinking about.

No, she’s supposed to be thinking about Austin, who when she opens the front door, is stood in his tuxedo with a smirk plastered on his face. “Hey, babe. You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Camila sends him a shy smile, and is about to step out of the front door when someone stops her.

“Actually,” Alejandro Cabello pulls his daughter back in, “come inside, Austin. I’d like to get to know my daughter’s first date.”

Camila cringes, and she tries to oppose, but eventually she gives in and listens to her dad ask Austin ridiculous questions like ‘what are your intentions’ and ‘what are your grades like’, and when they’re finally free and in Austin’s car, she sends him a quiet smile.

“I’m really sorry about that.” Camila awkwardly apologises. “He’s kind of protective.”

“I get it.” Austin smiles. “He wants to make sure that a girl as wonderful as you has a good date.”

At his choice of wording, Camila blinks in surprise, because the only person who calls her _wonderful_ is Lauren. But then, she realises that she shouldn’t be thinking about her friend when she’s on a date, so she pushes the thought from her mind.

It’s totally normal for her mind to jump to Lauren, because Lauren uses that word a lot. _Wonderful_ is like Lauren’s go-to adjective. Naturally she’d make that connection. It's definitely not anything else.

“You look really hot tonight, by the way,” Austin winks at her, something she figures most girls would swoon at. It doesn’t really do anything for her. His adjective of choice this time isn’t very flattering. “I’ve obviously got the hottest date in school tonight. My friends are going to be so jealous.”

“Yeah,” She responds, not really paying much attention as he starts to ramble about the things they’re doing in his football practices. Or, at least, she thinks he’s talking about football. Really, he could be talking about ballet for all Camila knows, because she's way too busy thinking about why her mind might've jumped to Lauren earlier.

When they arrive at the dance, he offers her some punch and then they dance a few times, something Camila realises she isn't very skilled at. Camila introduces him to her friends – minus Lauren, who didn’t come after all – and then after the first hour, Austin disappears on her.

After looking around for him for at least half an hour, she sits down at a table next to Dinah, whose date is getting her some punch.

“What’s up with you, Chancho?” Dinah asks with a frown. “Aren’t you having fun with Mahone?”

“I was, but I can’t find him. He’s probably in the bathroom or something.” Camila reasons with herself. Instead of talking about it, she tries to change the subject. “So… Lauren decided not to come after all then, huh?”

“We stopped by her place on the way here, but she was already in her pyjamas.” Dinah laughs. “She was cuddled on the couch with Nala and I’m pretty sure that’s where she’s planning on staying. Why do you ask?”

“I just… wish she was here, I guess.” Camila shrugs. “I don’t know, I keep thinking about her. Like… what she’d be doing if she was here. Do you think she’d dance?”

“Probably not.” Dinah snorts with laughter. “If Ralph was here she’d probably be sat outside stargazing. Knowing her she’d have brought Nala along too, and she'd be laid out on the grass, most likely oblivious to the whole _dance_  portion of this evening.”

Camila hums in thought. “Stargazing sounds like a good idea, actually. I might go and do a little bit of that to clear my head. Then maybe I'll try looking for Austin again. He can't have gone too far.”

Dinah looks her over for a moment and shrugs. “Okay. See you in a few, I guess.”

Camila gets up and heads towards the door, deciding that the back of the school building will be the quietest. She walks around, a little confused when she turns a corner and sees a guy and a girl making out. She decides to leave them to it and pass them, but she frowns when the guy seems a little too familiar for her liking.

“Austin?” Camila blinks in surprise when he pulls away from the girl whose lips were on his neck. “What are you doing?”

“I, uh,” Austin looks between Camila and the girl, and he doesn't even have the decency to look guilty. Instead, he seems like he just shrugs the whole thing off. “Nothing. Uh, let’s go back inside. Are you thirsty? I’ll get you some punch?”

“What?” Camila shakes her head in disbelief, staring at him with wide eyes. “You seriously think I want to go anywhere with you? You asked _me_ here on a date and you’re out here kissing some girl?”

Austin’s casual demeanour completely shifts and he rolls his eyes. “You seriously thought this was a date? It was a fucking _bet_. My friends bet me I couldn’t get in your pants by the end of the night, and if you ask me, it was going pretty well until you fucking ruined it.”

Camila doesn’t even bother replying; she isn’t entirely sure that she can. Her entire body feels like it’s gone into shock, and her feet pull her in the opposite direction. She’s not sure where she’s running to, but she knows she’s crying. While she really doesn’t want to cry over someone who clearly doesn’t care about her, she can’t help it. Her first real date was just a stupid bet. She had been used.

For some reason, she finds herself in front of Lauren’s front door. At first, she's a little bewildered, because why had she come to Lauren's, when she should just go home and curl up on the couch? Lauren might be busy and she probably doesn't want to listen to Camila's problems anyway.

But, eventually, she decides on knocking, because she needs a friend right now and her others are all at the dance. When Mike answers the door, she sends him a weak smile. “Is Lauren here?”

“She’s in her room.” With a concerned expression, he ushers her inside, shouting up the stairs. “Lauren, come here!”

Camila wipes at her eyes and tries to look a little bit more presentable when she hears her friend's soft footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Dad, what’s wrong?” Lauren rounds the corner and stops in her tracks, her eyes widening when she spots Camila. “Camz? Aren’t you supposed to be at the dance? Or is that over? Why are you here? You didn’t tell me you were coming here. When I asked you last week you said that- um, you were busy because of homecoming.”

Mike leaves them alone, and Camila rubs at her eyes again. If it was Dinah, Ally or Normani, she probably would’ve launched herself into their arms and started sobbing, but this was _Lauren._ Sweet, adorable Lauren. Camila was far more concerned about her feelings than her own.

Instead of answering any of Lauren’s questions, Camila just sighs. “Can I stay here tonight?”

“Um, yeah,” Lauren nods quickly and points towards the stairs. “Do you want to come up to my room?”

“Yeah.” Camila nods and follows her up the stairs and towards her room, sending a confused Taylor a weak smile as she passes her. She sits down on Lauren’s bed and wipes her eyes again, trying to calm herself down.

Lauren nervously sits down next to her, tapping out a pattern on her leg. “Are you okay?”

She could easily lie and tell Lauren she was fine, but she didn’t want to confuse the other girl any more than she probably already had. “No, I’m not.”

“What happened?” Lauren asks her, carefully taking Camila's hand and tracing three circles on her palm. “Did something bad happen at homecoming?”

Camila lets out a bitter laugh. “Turns out Austin didn’t really like me. Apparently his friends bet him that he couldn’t- um… ‘get in my pants’ by the end of the night. Pathetic.”

Camila lays back and rests her head on Lauren’s pillow, and the other girl curls up next to her and grabs hold of her hand properly. Lauren gives her hand a soft squeeze and meets her eyes for a few seconds to give her a comforting smile. “I’m sorry, Camz. I know that you were happy about going with him. If it… uh, means anything, I didn’t like him. I thought you were way too good for him and that he was a fucking idiot.”

Camila blinks and sits up in surprise. Lauren had just cursed. _Lauren_ of all people had just said _fuck_. “You just swore. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear before.”

Lauren laughs. “I’m not as innocent as you think.”

“You’re a secret rebel, huh?” Camila lets out a soft chuckle and puts an arm around Lauren, settling back down next to her. “I wish you’d been at the dance. Austin barely spent any time with me after the first hour – I guess I know why now though – and Ally, Mani and Dinah were off with their dates having fun. I found myself thinking about how I wished you’d came.”

“I didn’t want to be by myself.” Lauren replies quietly. “I thought you’d be with your dates and that I’d be alone.”

“You could’ve asked someone, Lo. That way you’d have been there too.” Camila links their fingers together and goes to pull away when Lauren jumps in surprise, but smiles when she feels the other girl keep their hands firmly linked. “Besides, I’ve never seen Lauren Michelle Jauregui on a date. I want to know what smooth moves you pull on the guys. Or girls. Whichever you’d want to take to a dance like that.”

“I like both. Mostly girls because they’re prettier and they smell good but I told you that before.” Lauren murmurs. “And I, uh, I don’t have any ‘smooth moves’. I’ve never… been on a date before. I was going to ask someone to homecoming but…”

“But?” Camila presses as Lauren trails off. “I’m sure they’d have said yes.”

Lauren shakes her head. “No. I don’t think she would have. She- um, someone else asked her before I could.”

“That sucks.” Camila sympathises as she runs her fingers through Lauren’s raven hair. “But hey, if you’d have been there, at least you’d have had my company since I was ditched so much.”

“Austin was an idiot, Camz.” Lauren mumbles into her neck. “He was dumb to just use you like he did because you’re so wonderful and I think that you would have had way more fun if you hadn’t gone with him. He didn’t deserve you and I knew it because I’m- um, I’m really smart. I have a 5.0 grade average.”

“I wish I’d trusted you when you told me that the first time. I still don't know how you knew that, though.” Camila sighs and she feels Lauren slowly start to trace a pattern up her arm. “Thank you for being here for me, Lo. You didn’t have to let me in and comfort me. Especially since you look like you were busy watching Netflix in your PJs and snuggling with Nala.”

“Well…” Lauren shrugs. “Now I have you to snuggle with too.”

Camila feels that odd jump in her stomach again but ignores it. “I’m really sorry if I disturbed you, Lo. I know you don't like unexpected things. If you don’t want an impromptu sleepover, just tell me. I'll go.”

“I want you to stay.” Lauren smiles and snaps her fingers three times. “I was sad tonight so I’m happy you are here now.”

Camila frowns. “Why were you sad, honey?”

“Um… I was thinking about the girl I like.” Lauren admits, her face turning crimson. “I was sad because I was thinking about her being at homecoming with someone else. But it’s okay now because I’m not thinking about that anymore. I’m not thinking about her with someone else anymore.”

“I guess we’re both making each other feel better, then.” Camila sends Lauren the best smile she can muster. “Relationships are weird, anyway. I’d rather just hang with you than be on some date.”

“I, uh…” Lauren struggles to reply, “Um, do you think – if, uh, I’d… um,”

“Lauren,” Camila interrupts her with a soft smile, tangling her fingers in the other girl’s soft hair. “Slow down, baby. Use your words.”

“Yes,” Lauren stutters, and swallows a lump in her throat. She lets out a small breath and speaks slowly. “Do you think you’d have had fun at the dance if… um, if I was there?”

“I do.” Camila confidently replies. “Like I said, it wasn’t like I was spending any time with my actual date. Having you there would’ve been fun. That way I would’ve had someone to dance with. Even though I’m not much of a dancer.”

“Oh,” Lauren fiddles with Nala, “you could’ve called me and I would’ve come to see you and danced with you. We could have had fun if you had called. I would’ve come to make sure you were okay and not bored because stupid fuckboy Austin ruined your night and I should’ve done something bad to him.”

“You said you didn’t want to go because it’d be too loud. I didn’t want you to be somewhere you weren’t comfortable, and you don’t have to do something ‘bad’ to Austin, Lo. You’re being the bigger person.” Camila explains with a soft smile. She thinks it’s cute how defensive Lauren is all of a sudden. “Besides, I’m with you now. I don’t even know why I came here, to be honest. I was getting away from the dance as fast as I could and just ended up here. Apparently my subconscious really wanted to see you. I guess it knows that you’d make me feel better.”

Lauren sits up and plays with the drawstrings of the hoodie she’s wearing, brushing off Camila’s answer as she stares down at her feet. “Um… do you want to borrow some pyjamas? That dress doesn’t look very comfy.”

“Sure, Lo.” Camila smiles and sits up, following Lauren over to her chest of drawers. She watches as Lauren opens up the top drawer and pulls out a sweater and a pair of sleep shorts, handing them over to Camila. “Thank you.”

“Uh, my bathroom is over there,” She points to a door adjacent from them. “You can get changed in there and then… come back here, I guess? Unless you want to sleep in a different room. We have a guest room but it’s not very tidy and I’ll have to get my mom or dad to show you it because the curtains are orange and I can’t go in there because of it and it’s messy and gives me a headache and I-”

Camila cuts her off with a small laugh as she makes her way into the bathroom. “I’m fine with sleeping in your room, Lolo. As long as I’m not intruding.”

“You could never.” Lauren rocks herself on her heels. “I’ll… um, wait here?”

Able to tell pretty quickly that Lauren is nervous, Camila puts the borrowed pyjamas down on Lauren’s bedside table and walks over to the other girl. She sends her a comforting smile and holds out her arms. “Is it okay if I get a hug?”

“Okay.” Lauren blinks down at the floor and nods once, hugging Camila back in the most awkward way imaginable.

Camila buries her face in Lauren’s shoulder and sighs contently. “Don’t be nervous around me, honey. You know I’m harmless.”

Slowly, Lauren nods and pulls back. “I’m not… um, I’m not nervous.”

Camila laughs as she heads towards the bathroom again. “Lo, you’re fidgeting like crazy. And you’re a terrible liar.”

“I don’t mean to fidget.” Lauren stills herself, but Camila can tell that she’s itching to pull at her clothes or tap on something. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing.” Camila leans against the door frame of the bathroom. “I know that you do this thing called stimming to calm yourself down and that fidgeting is a part of that. You need to do it to feel better and I’m not going to tell you not to.”

Lauren immediately starts tapping her fingers against her pants. “How do you know that?”

“Well, you do it a lot,” Camila replies with a small smile, “also I did a little research of my own. I looked up a few things about autism after our sleepover because I wanted to be able to understand you so I could be a good friend. I didn’t want to do anything that might make you uncomfortable so I figured educating myself would be a good idea.”

“Oh,” Lauren looks up at her, green eyes shining with surprise. “That’s… nobody has ever done anything like that before. Thank you.”

Camila smiles. “No worries. I’m going to go and get changed. I’ll be like two minutes.”

Camila closes the bathroom door behind her and quickly gets out of her dress, trying to forget the night’s events. She was having fun with Lauren and that’s all that mattered. She pulls on the sleep shorts Lauren had given her, and tugs the sweater over her head, immediately surrounded by Lauren’s intoxicating scent. She pulls the collar up to her nose and takes a deep breath because Lauren's smell is comforting and feels like home, but when she realises what she’s doing, she stops herself. She shakes her head to clear her thoughts, and turns to go back into the room.

When she walks back into Lauren’s bedroom, her friend is curled up on her bed, arms wrapped around Nala, bundled under the covers. It’s definitely one of the cutest things Camila has ever seen.

“Lauren?” Camila folds her dress over Lauren’s desk chair and sits down on the bed. “Are you still awake under there?”

“Uh-huh.” Lauren sits up and brushes her hair from her face. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.” Camila shrugs. “I’m still kind of upset about the whole Austin thing. Would you mind just… holding me for a little while? It’s okay if that kind of thing makes you-”

Lauren doesn’t reply. Instead, she wraps her arms around Camila and pulls her down into a lying position. She pulls the blankets over them, and Camila snuggles her face into Lauren’s neck. “Is this okay?”

“Yep. This is perfect.” Camila replies as she throws a protective arm over Lauren’s stomach.

And honestly, Camila really can’t remember the last time she’s ever felt that content.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourselves for this one. ;) Also - warning for ableist slurs/panic attacks/sensory overload. I'm sorry. You'll either hate me or love me for this chapter. Or both.

“Where’s Lauren?” Camila asks as she sits down next to Ally. “I haven’t seen her all day.”

“She didn’t tell you?” Normani frowns. “She had to get her wisdom teeth out today. Her mom is letting her have the day off for it.”

Camila’s eyes widen. “She’s having someone rip her teeth out and she didn’t tell me?”

Ally laughs. “She didn’t tell Dinah and me either. She mentioned it in passing to Mani and she told us. We figured she’d tell you herself since she seems so close to you recently.”

“I’m going to go and see her tonight.” Camila decides, checking her purse to make sure she has enough money to go to the store and buy ice cream for her friend. That's good for after wisdom teeth removal, right? Or was it tonsils? Camila has no idea. “What time is her surgery?”

Dinah grabs her phone and checks the time. “I think it happened like an hour ago. Depending on what time you go over, she might still be all loopy from the pain meds.”

“Oh, please film it,” Normani laughs, “that’d be perfect to put on Instagram.”

Camila smiles at the thought of a drugged Lauren, but shakes her head. “I can’t film her. I’d feel bad. Besides, you all know she’d probably convince me to delete it with her cute little compliments.”

“Not if she doesn’t know you have it.” Dinah replies, smirking at her. “Or maybe you’re just whipped and don’t want to do it because you _like_ her.”

Normani snickers, and Camila is pretty sure even _Ally_ laughs at Dinah’s comment. “What? You think I like Lauren?”

“Well, you do look like the human embodiment of the heart eyes emoji when you see her.” Ally points out.

Normani hums in agreement. “And it’s not exactly a secret that she likes you too.”

Camila frowns. They think that Lauren likes her? No way. The thought is ridiculous. She and Lauren are just friends, obviously. “Lauren doesn’t like me.”

“Walz, you’ve got to be blind if you can’t see how heart eyes _she_ is over you.” Dinah rolls her eyes. “Lauser isn’t really that subtle. She stares at you like-”

“Like I’m the only person in the room?” Camila deadpans with a similar eye roll, before reiterating her earlier point. “She doesn’t like me.”

“Actually, I was going to say like she wants to shove her tongue down your throat, but sure, you can put it like that.” Dinah smirks when Camila turns red. “And _yes_ , she does like you. Pretty sure Mani can confirm that.”

“Nope.” Normani shakes her head. “I’m sworn to secrecy. I can’t say anything.”

Dinah scoffs. “Lauren’s been so obvious since day _one_. Ever since Mila showed up, Lauser’s been whipped as hell. She does little doodles of her in her sketchbook and she’s always staring at her. She's like- you know those girls in middle school who write their crush's name in their notebook? That's Ralph.”

“Dinah, I’m sure that if Lauren does like Mila, she doesn’t want everyone to know about it.” Ally tries to shut the other girl up, to no avail. “If she likes Camila and wants her to know, she’d tell her.”

“Actually, I don’t think she’d tell her.” Normani replies. “It never goes well for her when she approaches her crushes, and I think that put her off.”

Camila shakes her head. “Lauren can tell me anything and she knows that, but she _doesn’t_ like me. She told me that she likes some other girl, anyway.”

Dinah frowns. “She did? Who?”

“Well, she didn’t tell me her name,” Camila replies, “but she told me that she wanted to ask a girl to homecoming, and that the girl already had a date, so she didn’t.”

“You had a date to homecoming.” Dinah refutes her point entirely. “You could’ve been the girl she was talking about.”

“There is _no way_ that-” Camila starts with a scoff and an eye roll, but freezes when she remembers something. Before Austin had interrupted them, Lauren had been about to ask her something. And she’d mentioned something about a date before. “Oh my god.”

“What?” Ally frowns at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Camila replies quickly. “It’s just that before Austin asked me to homecoming – like literally the _second_ before – Lauren wanted to ask me something. And she’d mentioned something about a date, but then we were interrupted.”

“You think she was going to ask you out?” Normani asks her in surprise. “Maybe she has got more courage than we thought.”

“I mean, she could’ve been.” Camila says, trying to put the pieces together. “Plus, it wasn’t exactly a secret that she didn’t like Austin. Oh my god, Lauren might like me.”

Dinah frowns at her. “Would that be a bad thing?”

“No, I just-” Camila shakes her head. “I’m just a little shocked. I mean… she looks like a _goddess_ and she’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. Why would she like me? She's practically perfect.”

Normani blinks at her in surprise. “Well that's... kind of surprising. Most people are usually... well, they act like they're disgusted by the thought of dating her.”

“What? Why is it surprising?” Camila asks with wide eyes. “I adore her. Who would ever be disgusted by her? She’s so adorable.”

“People she’s asked out in the past haven’t exactly had a very positive reaction, Mila,” Ally tells her, “the first guy, Keaton, said some pretty horrible things. He, um, he called her a _retard_ ,” she whispers the last word, “and she basically shut down. She wouldn’t speak for weeks.”

“The second guy was called Luis. He’s on the football team. Quarterback.” Normani continues. “She told him she liked him and he pretended to like her back. He and his friends humiliated her in front of everyone the next day. She wouldn’t come out of her room for days and when she finally showed up at school again she was so quiet and subdued and it was so weird. She wouldn't go anywhere without Nala, either. It took over a month for her to open up again.”

Camila feels her heart breaking at both of the stories. While she isn’t sure what she feels for Lauren is romantic, she would never do anything to hurt her. “I can’t believe people would do that.”

Dinah shrugs. “Clearly Lauser has a pretty bad taste in men.”

“I think… I’m not going to mention anything to her. If she likes me, she’ll tell me.” Camila explains. “She knows I wouldn’t react like that.”

“How would you react?” Ally asks her. “If she asked you out, what would you do?”

“I’d do what I did with Austin and give her a chance.” Camila replies. It's only fair, and she already feels more for Lauren than she ever had with Austin. “I’d let her take me on a date and see how I felt about it. See how I felt about her in that way.”

“If you want to sneak out and go see her, I’d give you a ride.” Dinah offers with a smirk. “I’m sure you’d love to see her all high off pain meds.”

Camila laughs. “I’m honestly tempted to take your offer.”

“Perfect.” Dinah grabs her by the wrist and pulls her up. “I’ll be back in twenty minutes. Gotta get Chancho to her girlfriend.”

As Dinah drags her down the corridor, Camila stares at her with wide eyes. "I wasn't being serious! I can't just leave school in the middle of the day!"

"Oh my god, no wonder Ralph likes you," Dinah rolls her eyes and practically buckles Camila into the front seat of her car. "You're both such nerds."

"Dinah, I'm serious," Camila goes to unbuckle her seatbelt, "I can't just leave."

"Nobody's going to know you're gone, and even if they do, I'll tell them you felt sick and had to go home." Dinah reasons with her as she starts driving. "Besides, you visiting Lauser will make her happy, and I happen to like seeing one of my best friends happy."

"Lauren wouldn't like to know that I'm missing _school_ , though," Camila points out, "she hates having days off because she likes maintaining her 5.0 GPA. I think it's just because she likes to brag about it, but whatever, it's cute when she does."

"And you say you don't like her like that," Dinah teases her, "but academia is pretty much all she has, Walz. When people meet her, they kind of assume things. They think she's dumb because she's autistic, but in reality, she's one of the smartest people I know. She likes working hard at school because I think she uses it to prove to both herself and other people that she's just as capable. Not everyone is very understanding."

Camila feels her heart break and bites down on her lip. "But- of course she's not stupid. I didn't think she was when I met her, and it's not exactly a secret that I didn't like her at first. I just thought she was a little odd because she was so quiet."

Dinah disregards her words. "Look, you're going to have to be careful with her, Mila. It's pretty obvious that she has feelings for you, and she's been hurt before by people she's liked. Even if you don't like her back, I need you to promise me you won't hurt her. She doesn't need that on top of everything else she has to deal with."

"I'd never hurt her." Camila is quick to reply. "She's one of my best friends. I care about her a lot, and like I said before, if she ever gets the courage up to ask me out again, I'm going to give her a chance and say yes. I mean... it's _Lauren_. I could never say no to her. I bet she'd be so sweet and she'd go out of her way to do little romantic things and- what?"

Camila cuts herself off when she hears Dinah's laughter, because she's definitely not said anything funny. All she was doing was explaining her intentions.

"It's so funny," Dinah laughs, "I actually think you're in as deep as she is. You're literally fantasizing about going on a date with her. If that doesn't scream 'crush', I don't know what does."

"I wasn't-" Camila goes to defend herself, but realises that maybe Dinah isn't all that wrong. It would explain the butterflies she sometimes gets when Lauren compliments her, the way her mind jumps to the older Latina whenever she hears the word ' _wonderful_ ', and the way she feels when Lauren cuddles up to her. "Shut up, Cheechee."

Dinah snorts. "You're lucky we're at her house. Otherwise I'd definitely _not_  be shutting up."

Camila rolls her eyes and gets out of the car. "Look, just- don't make any assumptions, alright? I'll see you tomorrow."

She hears Dinah's laughter as she walks up Lauren's driveway, and tries to conceal her own smile when she realises she's about to see Lauren, because that's definitely not platonic behavior, and maybe she's slightly more aware of things after talking with her friends.

Camila watches as Dinah drives away and takes in a deep breath, knocking on the door. She waits patiently until Clara answers and smiles at her. “Hey. Is Lauren here?”

“Camila, shouldn’t you be in school?” Clara opens the door wider to let her in. “Lauren is in the lounge, but she’s a little loopy from her pain medication. Why aren’t you at school?”

“Oh, I felt sick this morning so I didn’t go. Dinah texted me and told me that Lauren had had her wisdom teeth taken out so I figured that when I felt better I’d give her a visit.” Camila easily lies. She feels a little guilty for lying to Clara, but she wants so see Lauren. “See how she’s feeling and stuff.”

“Lauren,” Clara pushes open the door to the lounge and calls out, “you have a visitor, sweetheart.”

“Mama?” Lauren groans in response. “People are here? Why are there people here?”

“Not people. Just person.” Clara laughs, motioning for Camila to enter the room. “Camila came over to see you.”

“Camzi,” Lauren waves at her from the couch, mouth swollen and stuffed with cotton wool. “Hey, baby. There’s like… two of you. Do you have a twin that I didn't know about? What's her name?”

Camila laughs and sits down next to Lauren on the couch. “I don’t have a twin. There’s just one of me, Lo.”

Lauren giggles and grabs hold of her hand. “Your hand is soft. I like touching it. You’re like… a bunny. Soft. And cuddly.” Lauren’s eyes widen in realisation, like she's just discovered the secrets of the universe. “Oh my god, you’re Nala!”

“I’m pretty sure Nala and I are two separate entities, Lolo.” Camila replies, picking up Nala from the coffee table. “Nala’s right here, see?”

Lauren sits up and reaches out for her stuffed animal. “I love Nala. Nala is my best friend in the whole wide world and nobody is allowed to touch her but it’s okay with you.”

Camila hands Lauren her toy and softly pats the other girl’s hair. “Why is it okay with me?”

“Because you’re Camila.” Lauren wraps her arms around her waist and buries her face into Camila's neck. “You smell pretty. You _are_ pretty. All of you is pretty.”

“You think I’m pretty?” Camila asks. “Thank you, Lauren. I think you’re pretty, too.”

“No you don’t. Not in the way I think you’re pretty.” Lauren fumbles with Nala and meets Camila’s eyes for a few seconds before glancing away. “I want to kiss you but I can’t because there’s stuff in my mouth. Stupid stuff.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip and plays with Lauren’s hand. “When you’re not all drugged up, you can kiss me. How does that sound?”

“Yes. That sounds nice. I would like to kiss Camila. Don’t tell her though.” Lauren rests her head on Camila’s shoulder. “I like touching Camila. It doesn’t hurt me to touch her most of the time. Sometimes it does but I let her touch me anyways because if she wants to cuddle then-”

“Lauren, if it’s hurting you to touch me, you need to tell me.” Camila gently lifts Lauren’s head by her chin to make the other girl meet her gaze, and she feels her stomach flip when Lauren beams at her. “Okay? I need you to tell me if you’re hurting.”

“Well, my mouth kind of hurts right now.” Lauren looks away and touches her cheeks. “My face feels big. I don’t like it. It’s hard to concentrate because my face feels big. Make it not big, Camz. Can you make it not big for me? I don't want it to be like this.”

“Maybe you should take a nap, honey.” Camila suggests, gently tracing patterns along the back of Lauren’s neck. “When you wake up you might feel a little less weird.”

“Yeah,” Lauren hums. “Naptime is a good time. I wish we still had naptime at school. That would be so fun. It would be like a class where I can just cuddle you and Nala and it'd be my favourite class, maybe even more than art.”

“It'd definitely be a good class,” Camila agrees, because honestly, Lauren has a point. “Lauren, can I ask you something?”

Lauren nods. “You can ask me anything, Camzi. Except for things about sports, I don't know much about that. Aside from softball.”

“Well, the girls were talking and,” Camila pauses for a second, unsure if asking Lauren these things in her drugged up state was okay, “they said you like me. Like, romantically. As in you’d want me to be your girlfriend. Do you?”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums in response, “yes. I do. You’re pretty and you smell good. Did I tell you that already?”

“Right, okay,” Camila takes that information in, “and were you going to ask me to homecoming? You know, before Austin interrupted us.”

“Yes,” Lauren confirms. “I wanted to go with you. But then you were going with him and I was sad because he was a stupid fuckboy. I wanted to do something bad to him but my mom told me that if I liked you I should let you be happy and going with him was making you happy so I didn’t say anything because I wanted to see you smile.”

“You should’ve told me, baby,” Camila feels Lauren grab hold of her hand again and play with her fingers, tracing three circles on her palm. “I would’ve said no to Austin and we could’ve gone together. Technically you asked me first.”

Lauren sighs in response and looks down at her feet, tapping them against the floor. “I think I’m going to go to sleep now.”

A little stunned by the sudden subject change, Camila nods. “Okay, Lo. Do you want me to stay here with you?”

Instead of replying, Lauren shifts so her head is on Camila’s lap. “Play with my hair.”

“Okay,” Camila takes that as a yes and runs her fingers through Lauren’s raven hair, having to reach forward and stop her friend from reaching into her mouth and taking out the cotton that’s stopping the bleeding from her gums. “Lo, you can’t touch that. You might get an infection.”

“But it feels funny.” Lauren argues as she swats Camila’s hand away. “I don’t like it. It’s bad. I don’t like the way cotton wool feels.”

“You’re just going to have to deal with it for now, Lolo.” Camila holds Lauren’s hand in an attempt to distract her. “If you go to sleep, you’ll forget about it.”

“Promise?” Lauren looks up at her, reaching up and poking her in the cheek. “You’re soft. I like you.”

Camila laughs and pushes Lauren’s hand away, which is attempting to grab onto her ear, locking their fingers together. “I know you like me, Lo. I like you too. We’re best friends.”

“Yes. Best friends.” Lauren stares down at their hands with a smile. “One day.”

“One day?” Camila frowns, feeling a little hurt. “Are we not already best friends?”

“One day you’ll be something else.” Lauren murmurs to herself, before glancing up at Camila again. “Goodnight, Camz. I’m going to sleep now.”

With that, she closes her eyes and snuggles up to Camila, falling asleep in seconds.

-

Lauren doesn’t remember their conversation when she wakes up. She doesn’t even remember Camila showing up in the first place. All she can recall is her mom taking her to the doctor, sitting down in a scary looking chair, and having a panic attack because the doctor put a mask over her face that frightened her.

The first thing she notices is how much her mouth aches. The second thing is how a cold hand is touching her stomach, and how much it feels like something is burning through her skin.

She shoots up and backs away from whatever is touching her, her eyes widening when she sees a surprised looking Camila staring back at her. Immediately, Lauren diverts her gaze to the floor, and she feels her cheeks heating up. Her stomach does that wonderful thing it does whenever Camila is around, and she taps out a pattern on her leg to distract herself from how she can feel Camila’s gaze burning holes in her.

“Hey, Lolo,” Camila finally speaks, and Lauren swallows the lump in her throat. “You slept for quite a while. A few hours, actually.”

“What are you doing here?” Lauren disregards Camila’s words and blurts out the thing that’s at the front of her mind. “You weren’t at the doctor’s.”

“I got here at lunchtime.” Camila frowns at her and Lauren worries that she’s said something wrong. Frowning was bad, that’s what her doctor told her. Frowning meant that someone was upset. “Do you not remember our conversation?”

“I’m sorry,” Lauren’s immediate response is to apologise. Camila was frowning, so that meant Lauren had said something to upset her. While she didn’t know what she’d done, she didn’t want Camila to be mad. “I didn’t mean it.”

“Didn’t mean what, Lo?” Camila moves towards her and Lauren backs herself into a corner, aware of how prickly the carpet feels and how cold the wall is and how her senses are going wild. She can smell Camila’s perfume, and while it’s usually a smell she enjoys, everything is hypersensitive and it’s becoming too much. “Are you okay?”

Lauren struggles to untangle the two questions in her head and closes her eyes to help filter out any visual stimuli. She rocks herself backwards and forwards and hums. “You are mad at me.”

Camila sits down in front of her, and Lauren closes herself off more, putting her hands over her ears. “I’m not mad at you, honey. Why do you think that I am?”

“You-” Lauren bites down on her lip and tries to make herself smaller, pushing against the wall in an attempt to get away from Camila. “Go away.”

“No,” Camila folds her arms across her chest and frowns again, but that just makes Lauren panic more. “You look frightened. What’s wrong?”

Lauren whines, because she’s starting to get frustrated. She already told Camila what was wrong – Camila was mad at her and Lauren doesn’t know what she’s done. She tries to get that out, but all she manages is another whine and a shake of her head, and really, she hates moments where she goes non-verbal because it’s when people start to crowd her and push her to answer their questions, but she can’t because it’s too much.

“Lauren, honey,” Camila grabs her hand and Lauren pulls it away because even the smallest touch makes her feel like her hand has been held in boiling water. “Please focus for me. I’m not mad at you, and I don’t know why you think I am, but I promise you I’m not. Okay? Cross my heart.”

Lauren whines again and buries her face in her knees, her hands still covering her ears. The smell of Camila’s perfume is starting to make her feel sick, and she’s struggling to identify Camila’s speech when the sounds coming from the television and her mother talking on the phone in the kitchen are all jumbling together to create one big mess.

Camila shushes her. “Come on, Lo. Focus on me.”

Lauren cries out, because she can’t. She can’t focus on anything when everything is jumbling together and being registered in her mind at the same time. Everything is too overwhelming and she feels like she’s about to implode, because even little things like the way Camila’s bracelets are hitting together sound like someone is banging two frying pans together right next to her ears.

Camila reaches forwards, probably to hug her in an effort to calm her down, but Lauren freaks out. She doesn’t know what Camila is trying to do and all she can focus on is how she’s being closed in and how badly she needs an open space.

In desperation, Lauren pushes her away and jumps up, running upstairs towards the only environment she knows how to control; her bedroom. She slams the door behind her and jumps onto her bed searching around frantically for Nala, because she needs her right now if she wants to calm down. Her bedroom is quiet and she needs to focus on cuddling Nala, because Nala won’t move and grab her in places she doesn’t like to be grabbed.

Unable to find her, Lauren flaps her hands in front of herself and whines again, because now she’s thinking about her missing stuffed animal and it’s making her feel worse. When her bedroom door opens, she closes her eyes, because open doors are bad and it’s doing nothing to calm her down.

She feels the bed sink under added weight, and from the way the perfume smells to the way the bracelets hit together, she knows it’s Camila.

“I have Nala here,” Camila holds her out, and Lauren snatches her toy and cuddles her up to her chest. Instead of snapping about how Lauren shouldn’t snatch, Camila just laughs. “I figured you might need her. Are you okay, Lolo?”

Lauren buries her face into her pillow and covers her ears with her hands, because she’s starting to calm down but if Camila asks her too many questions, it might make her go into sensory overload again.

“Not talking?” Camila keeps going and Lauren whimpers, unable to communicate how much she wants her to stop. She needs to be left alone. “That’s fine. I can talk enough for the both of us. Pretty sure we’ve established that, though. I know that I’m very-”

“Shut up,” Lauren forces out as she curls up in the smallest ball possible on her bed.

“Lauren,” Camila immediately scolds her. “You can’t just tell people to shut up. That’s rude.”

Normally, Lauren would be blurting out apologies, but Camila is making her more and more frustrated because she isn’t listening to her. “Shut up, shut up, shut up! _Go away._ ”

“I’m here to _help_ you, Lauren,” Camila snaps, and Lauren feels her stand up from the bed. “God, if I’d known how ungrateful you were going to be, I wouldn’t have bothered pitying you and giving you a second chance. I should’ve known that being friends with a fucking freak would be-”

Camila pauses, because she seems to realise what she’s said, and Lauren goes into hysterics. She’s upset enough already, because Camila isn’t backing up when she wants her to, but now the one person she thought wouldn’t hurt her had called her one of the things she hates more than anything.

“No, Lauren, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that,” Camila grabs Lauren’s wrist, but the older Latina jerks away from her. “I’m sorry, it just slipped out, I was angry and- I’m the worst friend ever, I’m so fucking sorry, Lolo.”

Lauren curls herself up in a ball and tries to drown out Camila’s apologies, because no matter how much Camila apologised, it doesn’t change the fact that she’d called her the ‘f’ word. If Camila had called her that, it proves that she thinks of her differently, it proves that she thinks she’s weird for needing a stuffed animal to sleep and not understanding what people mean sometimes.

“I think I just got stressed out because you were shouting at me and I didn’t know what I’d done but you weren’t listening to me,” Camila rambles on, “I’m so fucking sorry, I just got so angry, and that’s not an excuse. I’m going to spend a lifetime making that up to you, Lo.”

Lauren whimpers again, because she’d really thought that Camila was different.

She sits up and rubs at her eyes, looking anywhere but Camila as she speaks. Her words come out stuttered and stumbled over, but they’re there, and that’s what counts. “I’m sorry that- um, y-you… I don’t- you don’t have to be friends with me. I’m sorry for- um, making you feel like- like you had to be.”

“No, Lauren, no,” Camila shakes her head and tries to grab her hand, but Lauren jerks away. “I’m the one who should be sorry. You didn’t make me feel like I had to be your friend. I wanted to be your friend. I care about you so much, honey, and-”

“But you called me the ‘f’ word.” Lauren rocks herself backwards and forwards and keeps Nala clutched to her chest. “You called me the ‘f’ word.”

“I know I did, but I didn’t mean it.” Camila tries to meet her eyes, but Lauren won’t let her, because when someone she's not comfortable with looks her in the eye, she can’t do anything. Not speak, not think. The only thing she can do is be frightened. And Lauren isn’t sure she's comfortable with Camila anymore. “Lauren, I promise you I didn’t mean it. I would never say something like that.”

“But you _did_ say it.” Lauren murmurs. “You called me the ‘f’ word.”

“I didn’t mean that.” Camila says again. “Please, Lauren. I made a mistake.”

“I don’t know if I can trust you.” Lauren whispers. “You wouldn’t leave when I wanted you to and you were shouting at me when I was trying to calm myself down. And you called me-”

“I called you a bad word, I know,” Camila interrupts. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you wanted me to leave.”

“I told you to go away.” Lauren persists, because she's sure she was being clear. “But you just told me I was being rude.”

“Because I thought you _were_ being rude. That’s what made me so angry and that’s why I snapped at you.” Camila explains herself. “Please just give me a second chance? If I mess up again, you can stop talking to me. But you’re one of my best friends, Lolo. I can’t lose you.”

Lauren looks Camila over and feels her stomach do that weird flippy thing again. She likes it, but at the same time she doesn’t, because she knows that it means she likes Camila romantically and people don’t like it when she likes them.

“Okay,” Lauren mumbles. “Okay. I’m not mad at you. I- um, at least you didn’t… um, call me the ‘r’ word. That one is worse. That one hurts more.”

“Good. I’d never call you that in a million years, honey.” Camila breathes a sigh of relief and holds her arms out. “Can I get a hug?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head and shuffles away. “I’m still- um, I’m sensitive after I go into sensory overload. It hurts.”

“Okay. I won’t try to touch you, then.” Camila bites down on her lip. “I really am sorry, Lauren. You know that, right?”

“I know.” Lauren nods. She pauses in thought for a second, but decides to speak her mind. “I’m not, you know. What you called me. I’m not.”

“I know you’re not.” Camila replies. “It was just a moment of anger and I guess my subconscious wanted to upset you because you’d upset me.”

“I’m sorry that I told you to shut up.” Lauren flaps her hands in front of her and closes her eyes. “I needed quiet and you were talking lots and sometimes when I go into sensory overload I can’t speak.”

“I’m sorry that I wouldn’t stop talking.” Camila apologises. “I’ll keep your needs in mind in the future. I just wasn’t sure why you were so freaked out all of a sudden. I didn’t know what I’d done to frighten you.”

“You were frowning.” Lauren says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, because to her it is. “My doctor told me that means you’re angry. I didn’t know why you were angry.”

“I wasn’t angry, Lauren,” Camila assures her. “I was frowning because I was confused. There’s different types of frowning. I didn’t know what you remembered and what you didn’t remember and when you told me you didn't mean it...”

“Um, I remember a scary mask,” Lauren fiddles with Nala, confused as to why Camila has trailed off, “and my mom told me it would make me go to sleep. I also remember doctors. But that’s it. Then I woke up here.”

“Does your mouth hurt?” Camila asks. Lauren watches as Camila’s hand inches closer to her and she taps on her thigh apprehensively. “I’ve never had my wisdom teeth taken out. You must’ve been very brave.”

Distracted from the way Camila’s hand is way too close to her for her liking, Lauren nods. “Yes, my mouth aches but I was very brave. My mom promised me she would buy me a new beanie for doing it because I really like beanies. I think I got a white one.”

“That’ll look good on you, Lauren,” Camila touches her hand to Lauren’s thigh and Lauren feels like she’s been set on fire. “You always manage to look pretty no matter what.”

“Um,” Lauren shuffles out of Camila’s reach and brings her knees up to her chest. “Yes. Thank you. Sometimes if I need to go somewhere important Mani will do my makeup for me. I don’t really like makeup because it itches but if I need to go somewhere important I will wear it.”

“Well, you’re gorgeous without it, and I bet you’re gorgeous with it, honey,” Camila’s words make Lauren’s cheeks burn and her stomach flip, and she bites down on her lip. It doesn’t help when her friend continues. “You look really pretty right now, even with your swollen mouth.”

Lauren doesn’t know how to react to Camila’s compliment. Ally had told her that sometimes people compliment each other to show friendship, but other times they do it to express romantic affection, and Lauren can’t differentiate the two. All compliments sound the same to her.

So, she decides to ask. Camila had promised her that she’d explain things Lauren didn’t understand, and this shouldn’t be any different.

“Was that compliment platonic or romantic?” Lauren asks, unsure of what to say when Camila’s jaw drops. “I can’t tell. Ally told me that some compliments are romantic and others are platonic. How do I tell the difference?”

“Well, um,” Camila composes herself, “usually if someone goes out of their way to compliment you, it means they like you romantically and that they’re flirting with you. If it’s just a casual, passing remark, it’s platonic. Mostly.”

“Oh,” Lauren taps out a pattern on her legs. “I think I would like to try flirting sometime. Can I try and flirt with you?”

Camila turns bright red. “Um, I don’t know. You should only flirt with someone you like romantically.”

“Oh, um,” Lauren blinks down at her feet, because she knows that she likes Camila romantically, but she really isn’t sure if it’s okay for her to like her. Other people were mean to her when they found out she liked them, and she doesn’t know if Camila will react like that or not. “If I liked you romantically, would you be mad? Because if you would then... I don't like you. Romantically, I mean.”

“Of course I wouldn't be mad,” Camila takes Lauren’s hand and traces patterns across her knuckles. Lauren closes her eyes to filter out visual stimuli and taps on her leg with her free hand. “If you liked me romantically, I’d let you take me out on a date.”

Lauren’s eyes snap open, because she really hadn't been expecting that. “Yes. Let’s go on a date.”

Camila smiles. “Is that you telling me that you like me romantically?”

“No,” Lauren frowns at her, “I said we should go on a date, not that I like you romantically. Well, I _do_ like you romantically, but that’s not what I said.”

“Well, Lauren, I’d like you to take me on a date.” Camila replies. “Are you free on Saturday night?”

“I, um, yes,” Lauren nods quickly. “I am free. What shall we do for our date?”

“That’s your idea.” Camila smiles at her. “You’re the one who’s taking me out. You get to pick what we do.”

“But- Camz, I’ve never been on a date before,” Lauren tells her, and tunes out when Camila starts telling her about how that’s okay, because Lauren is far more worried about what she’s supposed to do on the date.

She doesn’t know the expected structure of a date and how it differs to a regular platonic interaction, and she doesn’t know if she has to wear fancy clothes or if she was supposed to do things she sees on television like bring Camila flowers and take her out to a fancy restaurant, because the idea frightens her. Lauren doesn’t like most restaurants – there are only a select few she can go to because others are too loud – but restaurants are always part of a date.

“Camila, I do not know what to do,” Lauren starts to rock herself backwards and forwards, “I do not know how dates work and how to take you out and what I’m supposed to do and it’s all frightening and bad and _new_ and I don’t know what to expect and-”

“Okay. That’s okay,” Camila interrupts her, “usually if you ask someone out, you’re supposed to think of something to do and take them to do that specific thing.”

“Yes, and I don’t know _how_ to.” Lauren worriedly replies. “I don’t know how to do it because I don’t know what’s supposed to happen on dates. What do you talk about? When is it okay to kiss your date? Am I supposed to bring you flowers?”

“Flowers would be nice, but they’re not necessary.” Camila replies, and Lauren stores that mental note away. “How about we work this one out together?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head quickly, “I'm supposed to think of something to do. I just need to know how it works. The structure.”

“Well, you’d come and pick me up at my house and take me to wherever you’re taking me,” Camila replies, “and then after you’ve finished, you’d take me home. Or we could go on a quick ice cream detour on the way home. A lot of it is spontaneous, Lauren.”

“Oh. I will try to be spontaneous.” Lauren fiddles with her fingers. “I’m not good with spontaneous. I like order and routines.”

“I know you do, honey,” Camila sends her a warm smile. “Don’t worry about it too much. As long as I’m with you and I’m happy, it’ll be perfect.”

“Camz,” Lauren meets Camila’s gaze for a second but looks away quickly, unable to handle the way Camila’s eyes seem to be looking into her very soul. “Do you really want to go out on a date with me?”

“Lauren, have you seen yourself? You’re basically a _goddess_.” Camila points out. “Of course I’d want to go out on a date with you.”

Lauren blinks. “Even though it's me? And I act differently sometimes?”

Camila seems to sense what she's going to finish her sentence with, because she frowns before Lauren's done talking. She doesn’t even hesitate to reply and Lauren takes that as a good sign. “Lo, why would I not want to date you because of that? I don't- I get that people have been jerks before, but why would I? You know me.”

“Because- um, because I need a lot of help sometimes.” Lauren stares down at Nala and bites on her bottom lip. “Like, um, I can’t understand people sometimes and I get breakdowns in public and people stare at me and it embarrasses the people I’m with and I’m not good with physical contact which is a big part in romantic interactions that I have observed.”

“Lolo, all of those things make you who you are.” Camila points out, and Lauren frowns, because she knows who she is. She’s Lauren. “And I happen to like who you are. I wouldn’t trade you for the world.”

“Okay,” Lauren accepts Camila’s response and hums to herself. “I am looking forward to our date.”

“Yeah, me too.” Camila smiles. “It’s going to be the best date ever.”

“And, um, when we go on this date, afterwards we can go on another.” Lauren bounces herself on her bed, trying to contain her excitement. “And more and more dates. Is that okay?”

“We’re already planning a second date?” Camila asks, and Lauren nods in response. “Okay. I’m fine with that.”

“Yes.” Lauren bounces up and down so much that the headboard of her bed starts to shake. “Lots of dates. With you.”

“With me.” Camila confirms, holding her arms out. “Can I get that hug now, honey?”

Lauren doesn’t bother answering. She launches herself into Camila’s arms and buries her face into the other girl’s shoulder, enjoying the warmth of her touch.


	10. Chapter 10

Lauren rocks herself backwards and forwards on her heels as she knocks on the front door, clutching onto the bouquet of flowers in her left hand. She’d decided to buy Camila some violets – Normani had taken her to the florist and helped her pick them out - and then they’d gone back to Lauren’s house and she’d let her friend put some makeup on her. While she’s hyperaware of it on her face, she wants to look nice for her date with Camila.

When the door opens, Lauren puts a smile on her face and examines the person in front of her, a man she’s never met before. She’s a little surprised, because she’s positive that she’s at the right address, so why is there a strange man there?

The man looks her over. “You must be Lauren?”

Lauren blinks in confusion, not answering the man’s question. “How do you know my name?”

“Karla has told me lots about you.” The man ushers her inside, and his answer doesn’t make her any less confused. “So, I think I’m supposed to ask you a few questions before you take my daughter out on a date. What are your intentions with her?”

Again, Lauren doesn’t answer his question. Rocking herself on her heels, she frowns. “Who is Karla? I’m here to take Camila out on a date. I don’t know a Karla. I know _Camila_. Is she here?”

The man looks her over again with a frown, and Lauren grows slightly more nervous. “Karla is Camila’s first name. Didn’t she tell you that?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head, “her first name is Camila. That’s what I call her. Well, actually, I call her Camz. But her name isn’t Karla.”

Thankfully, Camila jumps into the conversation before the man can confuse her anymore. “Papi, I thought I told you not to harass her with your dumb questions?” She scolds the man and turns to Lauren with a smile. “Hey, Lolo. Are you ready to go?”

“That man said you’re called Karla.” Lauren clenches and unclenches the fingers on her free hand. “Why did he say that? You’re called Camila. Right?”

“My first name is Karla, but I prefer to use my middle name, which is Camila. Unfortunately my parents haven’t caught on yet, though.” Camila sends the man another look. “But yeah, Lauren, this is my dad, Alejandro Cabello. I don’t think you’ve met him yet.”

“Oh,” Lauren’s eyes widen in realisation. “Hi. I’m Lauren Jauregui. I’m taking Camila out on a date.”

Alejandro smiles at her and then looks towards Camila. “Like I said, Karla has told me lots about you. But you didn’t answer my question from before – what exactly are your intentions with my daughter?”

Lauren frowns, because she’s already told him why she’s here. “I’m taking her out on a date. That’s why I’m here. We’re going on a romantic outing.”

Camila laughs. “Lauren, he means in general, honey. Like, what your intentions are _after_ we go on a date.”

Lauren blinks in confusion, because that makes absolutely no sense to her. Instead of asking Camila what she means, she answers with what she thinks should be obvious, unsure as to why Alejandro is asking silly questions. “Well, when our date is over, I’m going to bring you home and then I’m going to go back to my house and probably go to sleep.”

Camila just laughs again, and Lauren frowns, because she hasn’t said anything funny. “ _No_ , baby, he means with _me_. What your intentions are with _me_.”

Lauren taps her fingers against her pants and shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t think I have any intentions. I just want to take you out on a date and I don’t know why your dad is asking silly questions that make no sense.”

Alejandro frowns, and he looks like he’s about to say something, but Camila cuts him off. “Don’t worry about it, Lauren. He did it with Austin and now he’s doing it with you. He just wants to make sure that the person I’m dating is going to be good to me.”

“ _Oh_ ,” Lauren’s eyes widen, “of course I’m going to be good to you. You’re my Camzi, you’re wonderful.”

“See, papi,” Camila looks up at her dad, “nothing to worry about. Lauren’s a sweetheart.”

Lauren taps her fingers against her pants and tries to maintain eye contact with Alejandro, but looks away after a few seconds. “You could’ve just _asked_ if I was going to be good to her. Then it would’ve made sense.”

Alejandro looks her over again. “So, Lauren… what grade are you in at school?”

“Camila’s grade. Eleventh. I’m seventeen.” Lauren starts rocking herself. “I turn eighteen in June so I should be a senior but I started school a year late because of… problems I have.” Lauren glances over to Camila for a second, and the other girl sends her an encouraging smile. “Um, I- uh, I’m autistic and I started school a year late because I was- um, harder to handle when I was little. There were a lot of doctor’s appointments because it was around the time I was getting diagnosed.”

“So it’s an official diagnosis?” Alejandro asks, and Lauren frowns when Camila scolds him with a small smack on the arm and a quiet _dad_.

Lauren looks between Camila and her dad before answering. “Yes. It mostly- um, affects me socially and there’s sensory problems too. It doesn’t- um, affect me academically.”

“Lauren might've mentioned once or twice that she has a 5.0 GPA.” Camila takes hold of Lauren’s free hand and smiles. “She’s crazy smart, papi. It actually makes me jealous.”

“Don’t be jealous, Camz,” Lauren frowns at her, “you’re really good at literature.”

Camila beams and squeezes her hand gently. “Thanks, Lolo. But we’ve both got to admit that my talents as an artist are… subpar.”

Lauren laughs. “Your drawing is still on my wall, though. It makes me smile.” She pauses for a second and holds out the violets in her hand. “These are for you, by the way. Mani helped me pick them out. She also did my makeup for me.”

“Thank you.” Camila meets Lauren’s gaze as she takes the flowers, and Lauren feels her cheeks heat up when Camila kisses her temple. “You look really beautiful, Lauren.”

“I- um, so do you. But you always do.” Lauren feels Camila take hold of her hand, and she looks down at their knotted fingers with crimson cheeks. “You’re so pretty.”

Instead of replying to Lauren’s compliment, Camila just squeezes her hand. “Is it okay that I’m holding your hand? It’s not hurting, is it?”

Lauren shakes her head. Sometimes when Camila holds her hand it can hurt, but that’s only when she’s sad and she would feel guilty if she said no when Camila asked to touch her. This time it feels nice, because Lauren knows that they’re about to have fun on their date and that everything is going to go well, so she’s not worried.

“No,” Lauren mimics what Camila usually does and squeezes her hand gently, “this is nice. I like it when you hold my hand.”

“Good, because we’ll be doing a lot of it,” Camila smiles at her and turns to look at her dad. “Lauren will have me back home by my curfew, and I’d like it if she can stay the night.”

Lauren blinks in confusion. “You didn’t tell me that I would be staying over.”

“Well, I figured since you’re not good with the spontaneity thing, I’d be the one to do it.” Camila replies. “It’s okay, you can borrow some of my pyjamas and we can watch late night TV together and cuddle. How about it?”

“But- I, um, I can’t sleep without Nala,” Lauren mumbles, letting go of Camila’s hand so she can use it to stim. “I need Nala if I’m sleeping over here.”

“Well, we can always stop by your house on the way back and pick Nala up.” Camila says. “It’ll work out.”

Lauren still doesn’t like the idea, because staying over at Camila’s wasn’t in her plan and she wasn’t expecting it, and unexpected plans are the worst. She needs order and routine and a schedule – she already knows her plans for the next week and this has ruined her schedule completely.

Lauren shakes her head frantically. “No, I don’t like this because you didn’t tell me and I need to know because you messed up my schedule and I-”

“Lauren,” Camila interrupts her, “you don’t have to sleep over if you don’t want to. We can organise it another time. That way you’ll have Nala with you and it won’t be unexpected. Okay, sweetheart?”

“Yes, another time.” Lauren nods to herself and grabs Camila’s hand again. “I would like to sleep over another time and cuddle and watch TV. I like cuddling with you.”

“Good. We can organise it properly after we go on our date.” Lauren feels Camila’s thumb run over her knuckles and it’s not an unpleasant feeling. In fact, Lauren kind of likes the way Camila’s fingers are calloused from playing guitar and how they’re both soft and rough at the same time.

Lauren is rocking herself backwards and forwards on her heels and staring down at her and Camila’s hands when she feels her friend nudge her. “Hm?”

“Lo, my dad asked you a question.” Camila nods towards Alejandro. “He wanted to know how long we’ve known each other.”

“Oh, okay.” Lauren nods and looks back to their hands, trying to mimic Camila and tapping a pattern on the other girl’s hand with her thumb. She’s not sure it has the same effect.

Out of her peripheral vision, Lauren sees Camila nudge her dad, and she whispers something to him, but she doesn’t quite catch it because the television in the other room is quite loud and everything is getting rather tangled.

“Lauren,” Alejandro addresses her again and she looks up for a moment before relocating her gaze to the house plant behind him, “how long have you and Karla known one another?”

“Um… a few months, I think.” Lauren taps on her pants with her free hand. “Since she moved. We met and she was my new friend. But now she’s my romantic interest.”

Camila laughs, and Lauren isn’t sure what’s funny, but she doesn’t ask because Camila kisses her cheek and her stomach flips and her cheeks go red and it makes her legs feel like jelly. “Yeah, Lo. I’m your romantic interest.”

Finally, Alejandro’s neutral expression turns to a smile and he nods towards the door. “Well, have fun you two. Make sure you’re home by your curfew.”

“Don’t worry, papi,” Camila smiles as she tugs Lauren out of the front door, “Lauren’s great at timekeeping.”

Lauren lets Camila lead her to the car, and she fumbles with her car keys and unlocks it. She jumps in front of Camila when she sees the younger Latina go to open the door, because she’d read on the internet that it’s romantic to open doors for your date, and Lauren figures it’s best to follow what she’s read. Research always helps her in the long run.

“Thanks, Lolo,” Camila sends her a radiant smile as she gets into the car. “You’re very chivalrous.”

“I- um,” Lauren closes the door and runs to get into the driver’s side. When she sits down, she taps against the steering wheel and swallows the lump in her throat. “I read online that holding doors open is romantic. I googled lots of things. I asked Dinah about dates too, but I’m not sure if some of the things she told me were true. She likes to play pranks on me. One time she threw beans on me.”

Camila sends her an odd look that Lauren has no idea how to decipher. “She threw beans on you? Why?”

“For a prank.” Lauren puts the key in the ignition and starts driving. “I sprayed her with lemonade. And Coke.”

“Oh,” Camila sighs in what Lauren hopes is relief, but she really can’t tell. “That’s okay then. As long as you got your revenge.”

Lauren hums and pushes a button on the stereo. “Do you like The 1975? They’re my favourite band. I’m going to put them on now.”

“They’re one of my favourites, too.” Camila reaches over and rests a hand on Lauren’s thigh, and the older girl’s mind goes fuzzy for a moment, because she really hadn’t been expecting that. “I’m really glad we’re doing this, Lo. You’re doing really well so far.”

“Can you- um,” Lauren glances down at Camila’s hand and then back to the road, “it hurts.”

Camila frowns. “What hurts?”

“It hurts.” Lauren repeats, hoping that Camila will understand this time. “Hurts.”

Camila removes her hand from Lauren’s thigh and the older Latina relaxes. “Was my hand hurting you, Lo?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods and rubs one of her hands on her legs. “You didn’t warn me. You just grabbed me. I didn’t like it.”

“I’ll warn you when I touch you next time, okay?” Camila smiles. “So, where are we going?”

“Um- the beach.” Lauren murmurs, trying to clear her head. “Everywhere online said that the beach is romantic, and I like it there. Especially on a night because it’s quiet. Also, I read that most dates involve getting dinner, but I don’t like a lot of restaurants because they’re loud, so I brought food with us. Ally and I baked some things. I have sandwiches and stuff too.”

“That sounds wonderful, Lo,” Camila smiles at her, “I’ve really been looking forward to tonight. I love hanging out with you.”

“Yes, I love hanging out with you.” Lauren repeats, her fingers drumming against the steering wheel. “Wonderful. Tonight.”

“You’re nervous, aren’t you?” Camila asks, and Lauren can feel the younger girl’s eyes on her. “You don’t need to be nervous, Lolo. It’s just me. We hang out all the time.”

“But this time it’s romantic.” Lauren mumbles to herself. “We don’t go on dates all the time. It’s new and it’s scary.”

“You’ll get used to it being romantic though,” Camila assures her, “like, we’ll go on more dates and it’ll get easier as we go along. I know that you don’t respond well to change and that it might be hard for you to adjust to a different dynamic in our relationship, but it’ll get easier. I promise.”

“I don’t, um-” Lauren shakes her head, “I don’t like change at all. But, uh, this is good change. Because it’s you and me. And you’re good, and I like you romantically and I’m happy we’re going on a date, because it means that my romantic interest in you is going somewhere. Usually it doesn’t because people are mean when I tell them I like them. They call me, um, the ‘r’ word and it hurts me because it’s not my fault that I don’t understand things sometimes and-”

“Lauren, baby, don’t get yourself worked up,” Camila’s voice is soft and calming and Lauren focuses on it as best as she can. “Just because some immature boys have said some bad things to you in the past, doesn’t mean that everyone is going to be mean to you when you like them. I was flattered when I found out you liked me. Even if I didn’t like you back, I would’ve still been polite about it and not hurt you because of your feelings. You can’t help liking someone.”

“I- just, um, I want you to be my girlfriend.” Lauren murmurs, pulling into a parking space but making no move to get out of the car. Instead, she rubs her hand up and down her thigh and hums to herself, closing her eyes. “But I read online that you’re not properly dating yet after the first date, and I don’t really understand what that means. I don’t understand relationships, Camz, and they’re confusing and I don’t know when it’s okay to ask you to be my girlfriend because I don’t want you to date anybody else but it said on the internet that it might freak you out and you might think we’re moving too fast, and I don’t want to move too fast and scare you away but I just don’t _get it_.”

Camila sends her a look that she struggles to decipher. “Lolo, you won’t scare me away. I know that you don’t understand some things and that’s okay, because you can’t help it. You think differently and-”

“I don’t _want_ to think differently,” Lauren interrupts with a frustrated whine, “I just want to understand. I want to be like you. You understand everything.”

“I don’t understand _everything_.” Camila reaches over and holds out her hand and Lauren frowns at it, because she has no idea why she’s doing that. “Lauren, your autism is a part of you. It always will be. It’s something that makes up a lot of who you are. But it’s not all of you. I’m not going to look down on you for not understanding some things and thinking differently to me. You have a wonderful mind, Lauren. In fact, if I could swap minds with any one of our friends, it’d be you, because you have such a good outlook on things. I just… love the way your mind works.”

Lauren glances down at Camila’s hand, which is still outstretched in her direction. “Do you- um, why are you holding your hand out?”

Camila smiles. “Because I want you to hold it. Is that okay?”

“Okay,” Lauren takes hold of Camila’s hand and uses her free hand to tap out a pattern against her leg. “When is it okay for me to do things like that? I want to initiate romantic affection sometimes but I don’t know when it’s okay. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable because I like you a lot and I want you to be happy. I’m sorry if I seem a lot more… reserved tonight, I’m just really nervous.”

“When we get onto the beach, you can initiate all of the affection you want, sweetheart.” Camila squeezes her hand. “You won’t make me uncomfortable by touching me, Lauren. It’s okay for you to do the things you want to do. We’re on a date and I’m here because I like you too. That means I’m okay with anything.”

“Um, so, it’s okay for me to ask you to be my girlfriend?” Lauren asks, growing unsure when Camila seems to tense. “I really want that, because I like you and I don’t want you to go on a date with anyone else. According to what I read, you’re allowed to date other people until we’re- um, _exclusive_ , but it also said that asking to be exclusive is for later, but it didn’t say when later is.”

Camila smiles, but it’s not like one of her usual ones. That makes Lauren worried. “Um, I think you should leave that question until after this date. We’ll see how this goes. We need to test the waters.”

“What waters?” Lauren frowns and drums on her legs. “There’s water involved? Nothing I read mentioned anything about water, and I can’t swim very well.”

“No, there’s no water, it’s an expression,” Camila replies, her face twisted into a frown which Lauren takes incredibly negatively, because people frown when they’re upset. “It means that-”

“I’m sorry,” Lauren apologies on instinct and closes her eyes. She hums a few times to calm herself down before continuing. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Lauren, you didn’t-” Camila shakes her head and lets out a soft laugh, tracing her thumb along the side of Lauren’s hand. “You didn’t upset me, honey. Why’d you think that?”

“You’re frowning.” Lauren opens her eyes and glances up at Camila, meeting the other girl’s chocolate brown gaze for a few seconds. “Frowning means you’re upset.”

“No, I’m not upset, Lolo,” Camila leans over and kisses Lauren on the cheek, and the older girl feels her heart rate pick up. She doesn’t hear what Camila says next because she’s far too caught up in the way the butterflies in her stomach are going crazy and how wonderful it felt to feel Camila’s soft lips against her skin.

“You kissed my cheek,” Lauren observes, touching her fingers to the spot, “I liked that. It made my tummy feel weird. It did the thing it does when you say nice things to me but it was like… more. You understand?”

“I- kind of,” Camila nods and reaches over to unbuckle Lauren’s seatbelt. “Let’s head down to the beach, angel. We can have the picnic you packed and talk more down there.”

“Okay.” Lauren gets out of the car and darts around to the passenger side to let Camila out. “I am being romantic.”

“Yeah, you are,” Camila sends her a warm smile and Lauren feels that odd jump in her stomach. “Do you need my help carrying the food?”

“Can you carry the blanket?” Lauren goes into the trunk of the car and gets out a picnic basket, nodding to the blanket. “I brought it because I don’t like the way sand feels when it touches my skin and I’m wearing a dress so it might touch me and I don’t want it to.”

“Okay,” Camila pulls out the blanket and carries it towards the beach, and Lauren leads her to a spot and waits for her to lay it out. Then, she sites down on the blanket and puts the picnic basket down. “So, what did you and Ally bake?”

“Um… cookies. And we made brownies too, but I already ate some of those.” Lauren smiles sheepishly and looks up at Camila for a moment. She opens her mouth in an attempt to speak, but she can’t make the words come out when Camila is looking her directly in the eye, so she tries looking past the younger Latina. “I’m happy we’re here. Together.”

“Yeah, I’m happy we’re here too.” Camila smiles and delves into the picnic basket, pulling out some sandwiches. “Did you make these?”

“With Manibear, yes,” Lauren nods as she thinks back to earlier in the day when her best friend had helped her prepare for the date. “She helped me with the sandwiches and the flowers and my makeup, because I don’t really know how to do makeup. It itches a lot.”

“You didn’t have to wear makeup for me.” Camila replies. Lauren feels her gaze sweep over her before she continues. “You didn’t have to wear a dress, either. It’s weird seeing you in something other than jeans and a sweater.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Lauren worries, because weird meant bad, didn’t it? “I’m sorry, I would’ve worn something different-”

“It’s not a bad thing. It’s a good kind of weird. You look really pretty tonight, Lolo.” Camila says, taking a bite out of one of the sandwiches. “These are really good. I give you and Chef Mani compliments.”

Lauren doesn’t really pay much attention to that, and instead reaches forward, explaining her motives as she goes. “I think I’m going to hug you. Is that okay?”

“That’s perfectly fine, Lo,” Camila lets Lauren snuggle up to her, and Lauren buries her face into Camila’s neck, because Camila is soft and smells nice and feels like home and it’s ridiculously comforting for her. “Your heart is beating really fast.”

“I’m nervous.” Lauren admits, but it’s not really that much of a surprise because she’s nervous most of the time. “I don’t want this to go wrong. I want our date to be wonderful and then we’ll go on more dates and then we’ll be exclusive.”

Camila feels tense again, and Lauren doesn’t understand why, so she opens her mouth to ask, but Camila beats her to it. “I already know this date is going to go well, Lolo. I just don’t know about… all of the other stuff.”

Lauren frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Well… relationships are tricky and I don’t know if… if I could,” Camila stops and sighs, “I’m just saying that I don’t want you to get your hopes up, because things like this are very complicated. Anything could happen.”

“That’s scary.” Lauren murmurs into Camila’s neck, and the younger girl hums and runs a hand through her hair. “I don’t know if I like dating and relationships. It’s hard and confusing.”

“I know it’s scary, Lolo,” Camila kisses her temple and Lauren feels her heart flutter in her chest, deciding that she likes that feeling very much. “We’ll work through it together, honey. You and me.”

“Yes. We will work through it and everything will be not as scary because you’ll be there to help me.” Lauren says, mostly to herself. She pulls away from Camila and tries to maintain eye contact for a few moments. “Can you go on a second date with me, though? I was talking to Dinah and she told me you said you’re giving me a chance, but if we have fun, will you go on a second date with me? I want to take you to the art gallery and show you my favourite paintings because I really love art and I really like you and I think it would be fun.”

“I’d love to go to the art gallery with you, Lo.” Camila assures her. “I’m already having a lot of fun on the first date, and I bet the second will be just as amazing. I want to take you out, too. I want to do something nice for you.”

“Like what?” Lauren asks, already making a mental note about it. “When will it happen? What will we do? We need to plan it so it’s not unexpected.”

“I think we could go for a meal somewhere. I know you don’t like restaurants, so I’ll try and find somewhere quiet.” Camila promises, and Lauren gets that tingly feeling again because Camila remembers something about her and that’s another reason why Lauren likes her, because she understands. “Then you could stay over and watch movies. Or- no, scratch the restaurant, I’m going to cook you dinner at my house and then we’ll have a sleepover. Okay?”

“Yes. Sleepovers.” Lauren drums on her leg. “I like sleepovers with you. We can- um, cuddle and watch TV.”

“Good. Just a warning though, I can’t cook very well. I might have to enlist Ally for help.” Camila laughs. “So maybe it’ll be Ally cooking you and me dinner and then me serving it as if I cooked it.”

“Manibear can cook too.” Lauren tells her. “I like it when Mani cooks because she lets me help her. She doesn’t let Dinah help because one time she set something on fire.”

Camila laughs and Lauren can’t help but feel proud of herself for making that happen, because she’s never usually good at making people laugh. “I don’t find that hard to believe at all. Dinah seems like she’d be the worst chef of all of us.”

“I can cook some things.” Lauren announces, because maybe one day she’ll cook for Camila, so the other girl needs to know she can. “I can cook Cuban things that my mom taught me how to make.”

“I’d love to try your cooking one day, Lolo,” Camila smiles and holds out her hand, and Lauren is unsure if she wants her to hold it, but Camila answers that before she has to ask. “Give me your hand, angel.”

Lauren takes Camila’s hand and stares down at their interlocked fingers, because she’s finding it really surreal that Camila is actually on a date with her. “I like it when you hold my hand romantically. It’s very lovely. It makes my tummy feel funny.”

Camila laughs, but she doesn’t reply to Lauren’s statement. Instead, she just hums in thought and turns to Lauren with an expression she finds hard to decipher. “Lo? Can you tell me how you met the other girls? They told me you met them in third grade.”

Lauren untangles Camila’s words and nods. “Yes. I can tell you how I met them.”

After a long pause, Camila speaks again. “Okay. How did you meet the other girls, honey?”

Lauren hums. “Um, I met them on my first day of school when we were in third grade. Before that I went to a different school for, um, kids like me. But it was too loud and I couldn’t concentrate and I had a lot of… uh… problems there.”

“Problems?” Camila asks. “What kind of problems?”

“Um- I got lots of bad panic attacks there because a lot of the kids were loud and it frightened me.” Lauren tells her. “Also I would get frustrated and um- try to hit people. I don’t do that anymore though, I wouldn’t ever try to hit you-”

“I know, Lolo. I know you’d never hurt a fly,” Camila kisses her cheek again and Lauren touches the spot with her hand. “You’re a total sweetheart. Now, tell me how you met the girls.”

“I met Manibear first. It was my first day and I got scared because I didn’t know anyone and the teacher partnered me with her because they wanted someone to show me around the school and she did. She showed me everything and then I thought she’d just tell me to go away after she’d done what she had to but then she asked me if I wanted to meet her friends and I said yes and she took me to meet Ally and Dinah.” Lauren gets out, mostly all in one breath. “Dinah called me weird when we met. Ally told her off and introduced herself and then after that they all looked after me. I love them. They’re my best friends. Manibear especially.”

“You and Normani are really close, aren’t you?” Camila asks, running her thumb across Lauren’s knuckles. “She’s your number one best friend, isn’t she?”

“Yes.” Lauren nods and smiles when she thinks about how Normani had helped her get ready for the date with Camila. “She helps me and I help her.”

Camila hums and slowly rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder, and for a moment, the older Latina is a little uncomfortable, but she relaxes and puts an arm around Camila in a way she’s seen people do on TV. She tries to mimic what Camila does when they hold hands and traces her finger along the other girl’s upper arm, gaining more confidence when Camila seems to get closer to her.

“Lauren?” Camila looks up at her and meets her eyes for a few seconds, and Lauren freezes because she really wasn’t expecting the eye contact. “Thank you for taking me out tonight, honey. I’ve had a lot of fun with you. I really like spending time with you and I’d love for you to take me to the art gallery.”

“As a second date?” Lauren asks, because Camila really hadn’t been very specific. “Do you want to go on another date with me?”

“Yeah. I want our trip to the art gallery to be romantic.” Camila says. “As long as that’s okay with you.”

“Yes!” Lauren exclaims and starts bouncing herself up and down excitedly, because she gets to go to her favourite place and she gets to take Camila there as a date and further their relationship. Maybe after that she can ask her to be _exclusive_. “I really love the art gallery because it’s my favourite place in the whole wide world and I’ll get to show you all of my favourite exhibitions. Did you know that it’s my dream to have one of my paintings in an art gallery one day? I really want to be a famous artist.”

“I bet you’ll make it, Lolo,” Camila squeezes her shoulder and kisses her cheek again, and Lauren knows that she’s gone bright red because her face is hot. “I really want to be a musician.”

Lauren hums and rubs on her leg. “I think that if I can’t be an artist I want to do something with literature. When I go to college I want to study art and literature and I think I’ll really like that because I love art and literature and they’re two of my favourite things.”

“You’re really passionate about the things you love.” Camila points out. “I’ve noticed that. When someone mentions art you always get really excited and ramble. It’s so cute.”

“It’s because art is my special interest.” Lauren replies, blushing because Camila had called her cute. “I love art so much. I love to paint and draw and it makes me feel calm.”

Camila pushes Lauren’s hair back and kisses her forehead, and Lauren lets out a small whine because her stomach did that flippy thing again and she really wasn’t expecting it. “I read about special interests when I was doing some research on autism. I read that it’s something that’s really meaningful to you. Is that right?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods and taps out a pattern against Camila’s leg with her fingers. “I think that it’s wonderful that you- um, researched things. To understand me. Most people try to make me be like them. I remember one time this girl at my art class on a Wednesday night tried to make friends with me and we spent some time together and whenever I would stim she would hold my hands down because she thought it looked weird.”

“Well, she was a jerk, Lo,” Camila replies, and Lauren nods because Camila is right. “I’d never do that to you. I didn’t know you went to an art class on a Wednesday, though.”

“Yes. I have three friends there called Alexa and Lucy and Keana.” Lauren tells her, thinking about each of her friends. “Lex is one of my best friends, after Manibear. Keana is my other friend. Lucy is like… Lucy is like my soulmate.”

Camila tenses, and Lauren really doesn’t know what she’s said wrong. “This Lucy girl is your soulmate?”

“Yes.” Lauren nods quickly. “Lucy is my soulmate.”

“Why?” Camila asks, and there’s something in her tone that frightens Lauren a little bit. She doesn’t know what it means, but she knows it’s bad. “Why is Lucy your soulmate?”

“Because we think the same.” Lauren says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Lucy has Asperger’s and we have the same special interests and we get along really well. That’s why she’s my soulmate.”

“Oh,” Camila seems to relax and Lauren snuggles her face into Camila’s neck. “So it’s nothing romantic, then?”

Lauren frowns. “No. You’re my romantic interest. Lucy’s my _soulmate_. Why are you asking about her so much?”

“Because-” Camila cuts herself off with a laugh, and Lauren really doesn’t understand what’s so funny. “Because I was a little bit jealous, honey. Kind of like you were with Austin.”

“Oh. You were jealous of Lucy?” Lauren blinks in confusion. “Lucy has a girlfriend. She’s called Vero, she’s nice.”

“That’s okay then,” Camila smiles and reaches into the picnic basket to get out one of the cookies Ally had baked for them. “I was just a little worried, that’s all.”

“You shouldn’t worry.” Lauren quickly replies. “You’re my Camz, you’re wonderful. I like you, not her. That’s why I’m on a date with you. If I liked Lucy I’d go on a date with her.”

“You really know how to make a girl swoon, Jauregui,” Camila laughs and carefully takes hold of Lauren’s hand. “I’d like to meet your friends from your art class soon. Is that okay?”

“Yes. I have told them about you.” Lauren replies, because she’d really like Camila to meet her friends. She’d done a painting of Camila last time they’d done portraiture and she’d rambled about her to Alexa for at least ten minutes at the end of class. “They like you, I think. They know you make me happy.”

“You make me happy too, Lo,” Camila smiles. “We should probably start heading back to my place now. I want to get some ice cream before you drop me off.”

“Okay.” Lauren stands up and brushes herself off, picking up the picnic basket the leftover food is in. “Can I- um, hold your hand while we walk back to the car?”

Camila reaches her hand out in response and tucks the blanket under her free arm, and Lauren walks her back to the car. They pack their things away and drive to the nearest ice cream place, Camila running in to buy the ice creams, and Lauren can’t help but feel happy that Camila remembers her favourite ice cream flavour.

Lauren is halfway through her ice cream cone when Camila jokingly puts a little bit of her ice cream on the tip of Lauren’s nose. The older Latina tries to look down at it, and Camila giggles, making Lauren’s stomach do a flip.

“Why did you do that?” Lauren frowns, ice cream still on her nose. “Is that something that’s supposed to be romantic?”

“It was mostly just me messing around, but...” Camila leans forward and kisses the tip of Lauren’s nose, and the older Latina drums on her leg nervously, because Camila’s never been that close before. “There. I made it romantic.”

Lauren finishes her ice cream as quickly as she can and starts driving again, and by the time they’ve arrived back at Camila’s house, the younger Latina has demolished her ice cream cone and is staring at her, brown eyes staring down at Lauren’s lips.

“Lauren…” Camila meets her gaze and sends her a small smile. “Have you ever been kissed before?”

“I- um… yes,” Lauren nods and looks anywhere but Camila. “One time I played a game of spin the bottle with my art class friends at Lex's house for her birthday. I didn’t really understand it.”

“Well, I haven’t,” Camila tells her, “I was going to let my first kiss go to Austin, but thankfully I didn’t. I want it to be you, Lo. I want you to kiss me. Is that okay?”

“Um…” Lauren looks down at her feet and shrugs. “Is that a normal thing to do? To kiss on the first date?”

“It’s perfectly fine,” Camila says. “As long as we’re both comfortable.”

“Oh… okay,” Lauren unbuckles her seatbelt and shuffles forward slightly. She meets Camila’s gaze for a moment, before looking away again. “Um… when is it okay for me to… do it?”

Camila laughs and slowly puts her hands on Lauren’s shoulders. “Lean in, honey.”

Lauren closes her eyes and the next thing she knows, soft lips are on hers and the butterflies in her stomach are going crazy. Everything fades into the background, _fallingforyou_ by The 1975 sounding all static and distant because the only thing Lauren is thinking about is the way she feels. The kiss is only short, but it feels longer than it actually was, and Lauren feels like it’s still happening after Camila pulls away and says something she doesn’t quite catch, because she’s way too caught up in thinking about how wonderful that was.

She touches her fingers to her mouth and opens her eyes, looking over Camila, who is smiling at her gently. “That was… _wow_.”

Camila laughs. “I know, Lo. I’ll text you later, okay? We can organise our art gallery date.”

“Okay. Goodnight, Camz,” Lauren taps on her leg, “thank you for kissing me and going on a date with me.”

“You don’t need to thank me for that.” Camila assures her. “Thank you for taking me out on a date and being so sweet. I really had a lot of fun. I’ll talk to you soon.”

With that, Camila gets out of the car, and with one final wave goodbye, disappears into her house.

When Lauren gets home and finds Normani waiting for her in her room, she tells her everything that happened and gushes about Camila until she finally falls asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

“Okay, so, I know I said it’d be Ally’s cooking, but I decided that because this is a second date, I needed to step up,” Camila explains as she ushers Lauren inside of her house. She takes the older girl’s bag for her, and offers to take Nala, smiling to herself when Lauren seems to pull her stuffed lion closer to her chest. “I cooked for us. It won’t be as good as something Ally or Mani could produce, but… I tried. And that’s what counts.”

Lauren hums and rocks herself on her heels. “Yes. You tried. I could’ve helped. You could’ve called me and I would’ve helped you.”

“I didn’t help you when you took me out to the beach last weekend,” Camila points out, her stomach flipping at Lauren’s words, “so it’s only fair that I do this by myself. At least when you take me to the art gallery we can just buy lunch somewhere.”

Lauren smiles to herself and takes hold of Camila’s hand. “We can go to my favourite sandwich shop. It’s always quiet and that’s why I like it.”

“Well, it’ll be quiet here tonight, because my parents are out for a meal and Sofi is staying at a friend’s.” Camila leads Lauren into the lounge and sits her down on the couch. “We’re alone until around eleven.”

“I’ll probably be asleep by eleven.” Lauren tells her, tapping on the arm of the couch with her forefinger. “I like to be in bed by ten and then I read my book for half an hour.”

“You want to go to bed at ten?” Camila asks her with a frown. She’d kind of been hoping for them to stay up late and watch movies. For the past week, Lauren had been significantly more awkward and unsure around her, and Camila wants her to settle down a little; she’d been hoping that cuddling and watching movies would help. “That’s okay if you do. Just let me know when you’re tired.”

“Not at sleepovers,” Lauren clarifies, and Camila’s heart soars, “I meant like, at home. I go to bed at ten at home so I’m usually asleep at eleven because I’m used to it. That’s why I said I’d probably be asleep by then, because I usually am.”

“Oh, okay,” Camila holds out her hand, “Can I hold your hand, Lo?”

“Yes,” Lauren takes her hand and taps a pattern against Camila’s knuckles with her thumb. “I like holding hands because it means you like me.”

Camila laughs. “Well, this is a date, Lolo. I kind of have to like you for us to date.”

“But you didn’t like Austin and you dated him that one time. You told me.” Lauren points out, and Camila has to admit that she’s right. “You said you were giving him a chance but then you might go on more dates after the first one because you might have fun.”

“I know, but that’s different.” Camila says, and nearly lets out a small _aw_ when Lauren tilts her head to the side in confusion. “It’s like… Austin and I didn’t go out on a second date because he turned out to be a jerk. You and I, however… we’re having a second date right now because you’re a sweetheart and I really had fun last time.”

Lauren hums. “Okay. Can we watch TV? I want to watch a documentary. Do you have any of those?”

A little taken aback by the subject change, Camila shrugs. “I don’t know. We can always check Netflix. Here.”

Lauren takes the TV remote from her and switches over to Netflix, searching for a documentary. “When are we going to eat? I’m hungry.”

“When the food is ready,” Camila says, nodding towards the kitchen. “The oven will beep and then I’ll go and plate it all up and bring it in here. Like I said before, it won’t be very good.”

“But you tried,” Lauren reminds her and cuddles up to her side, starting up a wildlife documentary. “I appreciate it. I like going on dates with you and you’re trying and that makes it special.”

Camila puts an arm around her friend and nods. “Yeah. I’m trying.” After a few moments of silence, Lauren completely engrossed in the documentary, Camila speaks again. “Are there any TV shows you like to watch?”

“I like watching _Planet Earth_ ,” Lauren murmurs into her shoulder, “and- um, I don’t have any specific documentaries that I like the most. I like space ones a lot, though. And ones about the ocean. The ocean is really interesting.”

“I meant like, fictional shows,” Camila specifies, absentmindedly tracing circles on Lauren’s upper arm. “Things like _Game of Thrones_. All of that popular stuff.”

Lauren hums. “I like _Vampire Diaries_. I watch it with Dinah sometimes when she comes over because she watches it too. I also like _Orphan Black_ because it’s interesting.”

“I’ve never seen either of those,” Camila replies, “next time you come over we can have a binge watching session and you can show me them.”

“I don’t think you’ll want to watch with me.” Lauren says, her fingers tapping on Camila’s upper thigh. Camila is pretty sure that she doesn’t even realise she’s doing it, but it’s in a rather uncomfortable position, so Camila shifts a little bit. “I talk over shows I’ve already seen because I like telling people facts about certain parts.”

Camila moves away from Lauren a little, but the older girl lays out on the couch, her head in Camila’s lap. She figures it’s a prompt to play with Lauren’s hair, so she runs her fingers through her raven locks. “It’s a good thing I like your rambling, then. I wouldn’t mind it if you talked over things. I like listening to your voice.”

Lauren blushes and her bright emerald eyes meet Camila’s for a few moments. “You do? Why?”

“It’s just… nice,” Camila awkwardly replies, because really, explaining is kind of embarrassing for her. “It’s raspy but also soft, and the way you talk about things you’re passionate about is so enamouring. It’s something I love to listen to.”

“Oh,” Lauren looks down at her feet and shrugs. “Well, we can watch _Vampire Diaries_ together then. If you like listening to me talk.”

“Lo, you could sit there and read a dictionary out loud and I’d be totally alert and paying attention,” Camila jokes, beaming when Lauren seems to get it and giggles. “Listening to you talk is one of my favourite activities.”

“I don’t think reading a dictionary would be very interesting,” Lauren replies with a shy smile. “I like that you like my voice.”

Camila smiles, and decides to ask something she knows will get a long, rambled answer. “Have you done anymore art recently?”

“Yes, I always make art because art is my favourite thing in the world.” Lauren tells her, taking hold of Camila’s hand. “I have three portraits of you, one is in pencil and two are paintings. I recently did a portrait of Dinah and asked her to pose for me, and when I finished she told me the drawing was _fire_ , and at first I didn’t understand that because the drawing was of her, not of a fire, but then she told me it meant that it was cool and then I understood.”

Camila smiles to herself. “You have three more drawings of me?”

“ _Portraits_ ,” Lauren corrects her, “only one is a drawing. The other two are paintings. I used pictures from your Instagram. I will do another one if you want to pose for me.”

“I’ll pose for you after dinner, if you want.” Camila offers, “You know, if you’ve got your sketchbook with you.”

“I always have my sketchbook with me,” Lauren says, digging into her overnight bag and pulling it out. “See? It’s my sketchbook. I keep it with me because it’s my most prized possession and my favourite thing in the world and nobody is allowed to touch it or look through it without my permission. Not even Manibear has looked through it properly. I show people specific drawings but I’ve never given it to anyone to let them look through.”

“It’s really special to you, huh?” Camila watches as her friend flicks through her sketchbook and finds one of the portraits, holding it up for her.

“This one is the drawing. I did it about three weeks ago but I wasn’t sure if I should show you because I thought you might think it was weird if I kept drawing you.” Camila goes to tell her that’s not the case at all, but Lauren keeps talking. “I don’t mean for it to be weird if it is, I just think that you’re really beautiful and that beauty should be captured in art, and that’s what I thought when I first met you because when Dinah brought you into the art room and you sat down the light was hitting you perfectly and it made my stomach go funny and it was weird because a new person means change and change is bad so I should’ve hated you but I didn’t because you were so beautiful and nice to me and you asked me questions and I think I’ve really liked you this whole time and I didn’t realise until the morning after your sleepover when you got me Cheerios. Does that make sense?”

It’s a lot for Camila to take in, but she deconstructs Lauren’s mini rant and processes it. “You’ve liked me this whole time?”

“I think so, yes,” Lauren nods, “because you were nice to me when you met me and you were my new friend and you made me happy and excited when you sat next to me in class.”

“So _that’s_ why you always tuned out every time I’d talk about Austin,” Camila says as the realisation dawns on her. “It was upsetting you, wasn’t it?”

“Mhm,” Lauren keeps her eyes glued to the TV, “Austin was bad. He was orange. He didn’t deserve you but he interrupted me and asked you out first and I was angry but it made you happy so I didn’t say anything.”

“Lauren,” Camila bites down on her bottom lip and runs a hand through her friend’s hair, “that’s so sweet of you, but you still should’ve said something. If I’d known you were going to ask me out first, I would’ve told Austin to go screw himself.”

“He was a fucking idiot,” Lauren murmurs, “I don’t like him.”

“I don’t like him much, either,” Camila agrees with her, thinking back to homecoming. “I like you a whole lot more.”

“I’ve liked you since I met you.” Lauren says again, glancing up at Camila. “You were so wonderful when we met because you were nice to me and asked me things and made an effort when most people ignore me. Sometimes you were quiet but you spoke to me in class when we sat next to each other and you were so lovely and it made me happy because I thought you were beautiful. What did you think about me?”

Camila frowns to herself, because her first impression of Lauren definitely wasn’t as positive, but she isn’t about to tell her that. “I thought you were really cute, Lolo. You came off as really nervous, and obviously I know why you were now, but I just assumed you were shy. I thought you were really pretty – especially your eyes. Took me a little while to see them, though.”

“I don’t like eye contact,” Lauren explains, “unless I trust you. Because it makes me feel like people can see everything I’m thinking and I don’t want them in my head. My thoughts are mine.”

Camila laughs. “I remember always being confused because you’d only ever look at me when I wasn’t looking back.”

“Yes, I thought you were very beautiful,” Lauren is quick to reply, and Camila’s insides turn to mush. “I liked to look at you. Also, the picture on your Instagram that I was using for my first portrait wasn’t as high quality as I would’ve liked, so I needed to look at you to get some fine details.”

“While I was a little confused that you were staring at me so much, I was quite flattered.” Camila admits. “You look at me a lot and I think it’s cute.”

“You call me cute mostly,” Lauren tells her, “that’s the word you always use. Cute.”

“And you always use the word wonderful,” Camila comments. “You know, Austin called me wonderful at homecoming, and all I could think of was you, because it’s like your go to adjective.”

“Is that a good thing?” Lauren asks, “I can call you other things if you want.”

“It’s a good thing,” Camila assures her, “it’s nice to have a word that reminds me of you. Besides, wonderful is a pretty awesome adjective if you ask me.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods to herself as Camila runs a hand through her hair, “you are wonderful. Is dinner ready yet?”

“I’ll go check and see how long it’ll be,” Camila detaches herself from Lauren and makes her way into the kitchen, checking the timer on the oven. Four minutes and thirty seven seconds. She calls back out to Lauren and tells her she’s just going to wait in the kitchen to save herself having to get up again, and she doesn’t expect the older Latina to wander into the kitchen, fiddling with her fingers. “You didn’t have to come in here, Lo.”

“You’re in here.” Lauren says as if it’s the most obvious response in the world. “I want to be with you. You’re here, not in the lounge. I can help you carry things, anyway.”

Camila wants to tell Lauren that it’s okay and she doesn’t have to help her out with anything, but the older girl puts on a pair of oven gloves and sends Camila a shy smile. “Okay. If you want to help, you can help. I’ll get the plates ready, and you can get the food out of the oven when it beeps.”

“I like these,” Lauren looks down at the oven gloves. “They have patterns on. I like patterns and sequences. Like math. Did you know that I’m really good at math? I like it because it has rules. I’m good at school in general though. I have a 5.0 GPA.”

“I’m terrible at math,” Camila laughs, “maybe you can tutor me.”

“Yes,” Lauren smiles as if that’s the best idea Camila has had all night. “I can help you with your math. And you can help me with… um… something else.”

“What something else do you have in mind, Lolo?” Camila asks. “Let me know if you get any ideas.”

“I think you can help me with understanding people.” Lauren says, not meeting Camila’s gaze. “Like, if I don’t understand something someone says, I can ask you and you’ll tell me what they mean. You’ll look after me.”

“Alright, deal,” Camila smiles and pecks Lauren on the cheek as the oven beeps. “We’ll help each other.”

“Yes,” Lauren stands for a moment looking a little stunned, touching the spot on her cheek that Camila had kissed with her oven-gloved hand. “You kissed my cheek.”

“I did,” Camila responds as she gets out the cutlery. “But Lo, the oven beeped. Can you get the food out?”

“Oh,” Lauren looks over to the oven and her eyes widen in realisation. “I’ll get the food. Sorry, Camz. I was just distracted.”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to apologise, sweetheart,” Camila assures her as Lauren puts the food onto a cooling rack. “You always apologise for little things like that, and you really don’t need to. I know you can’t help getting a little distracted sometimes.”

Lauren hums to herself as she takes the oven gloves off. “I apologise because I can’t tell if you’re upset or not. I don’t want to upset you because I like you romantically and I want us to go on more and more dates and then become _exclusive_.”

At the end of Lauren’s sentence, Camila tenses, because she isn’t sure about that last part. While the idea of being Lauren’s girlfriend is absolutely wonderful, she doesn’t know if Lauren really gets how much of a commitment it is and if she’d be comfortable with a lot of things people do in relationships. She doesn’t want to rush into anything in case it makes her friend uncomfortable or upset.

“You could never upset me, honey.” Camila passes Lauren her plate and with her free hand, grabs her friend’s hand. “Come on, let’s go sit down.”

Lauren follows Camila into the lounge and almost immediately curls up next to her as she starts to eat. She keeps her gaze trained on the documentary on the screen and smiles to herself. “I like your food. You’re a good chef. Not as good as Ally or Mani though, they’re really good. But you’re good too.”

Camila laughs, “Thanks, Lo. I told you it wouldn’t be on their level, though. But I tried.”

“You tried.” Lauren repeats, resting her head on Camila’s shoulder. “I like it when you kiss my cheek. It’s wonderful.”

A little surprised by the subject change, Camila nods. “Yeah. Well, I like kissing your cheek. I mean, I like kissing you in general, but… your cheek is nice too.”

“It was lovely, when you kissed me last week in the car.” Lauren continues, completely unaware of how red Camila has gone. “I’m sorry I haven’t let you kiss me since then, I was just nervous because I didn’t know if it was okay, because I don’t really know what our relationship is.”

“We’re friends, Lolo,” Camila tells her, “but I know what you mean. We’re in that funny stage between friends and girlfriends and that’s confusing to anyone. Let’s just say we’re dating, because we are. We’re friends who go on dates.”

“Will you tell me when we’re not in that stage anymore, then?” Lauren asks her, glancing up at Camila for a moment to press a nervous kiss onto her cheek. “Because I don’t know when you’ll stop being my dating friend and start being my girlfriend.”

Camila bites down on her lip, unsure of how to word what she’s about to say. “Well, usually you decide that together. One of you asks the other after you’ve been on a few dates.”

“So, I could ask you now?” Lauren frowns to herself. “Because then things won’t be confusing.”

“I think it’s best if we waited a little while longer for that label.” Camila decides, trying her best not to voice her concerns to Lauren. “Like I said, it takes a few dates. We’ve only gone on one, and the second one is currently in progress.”

“I read online that you can date other people while you’re dating someone else, but only until you’re exclusive.” Lauren tells her, and Camila has to bite down on her bottom lip to stop herself from _aw_ ing, because she thinks it’s incredibly cute that Lauren had done research before their first date. “Is that true? Is that why you don’t want to become exclusive, so you can date other people still? Do you need to see if you like someone else more? If you do have someone else and you end up being exclusive with them, that’s okay, because I just want you to be happy.”

Camila’s stomach flips, because that’s the sweetest thing that anyone has ever said to her, and she really has no idea what she’s done to deserve Lauren’s affection. “I’m not dating anyone else, baby. Just you. I just think that we shouldn’t rush into things. I _do_ want to be your girlfriend, but I don’t want to rush. Okay?”

Lauren beams. “Yes. Okay. You want to be my girlfriend? I’m happy now. I was worried because I thought maybe you’d rather be exclusive with somebody else, but now I don’t have to worry. I just have to be patient because we’re not going to rush.”

Camila laughs and kisses Lauren’s forehead. “Yeah. You don’t need to worry. I’m not going to date anyone but you, okay? You’re the only person I’m interested in romantically.”

Lauren lets out a satisfied hum and takes hold of Camila’s hand. “I promise I won’t date anyone else either. Because I like you and we’re going to be girlfriends soon.”

And when Lauren cups her face and kisses her shyly, Camila can’t help but smile.

“Yeah. Soon.”


	12. Chapter 12

**_Camz (10:43AM): lolo_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (10:43AM): Camz_ **

**_Camz (10:44AM): r u busy today? i’m bored and lonely and i haven’t seen u since school on friday_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (10:44AM): I’m not busy. And Friday was yesterday, it’s not even been 24 hours yet. Why am I the one DJ and Mani think is too clingy?_ **

**_Camz (10:45AM): lauren michelle is that sarcasm i sense???? my lil innocent cutie pie knows SCARCASM??? what universe r we in?_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (10:45AM): Of course I know sarcasm, I’m friends with Dinah. Even though I can’t tell when she uses it, doesn’t mean I can’t use it myself. And I told you I’m not as innocent as you think. But why did you want to know if I was free?_ **

Camila reads over Lauren’s message with an amused smile and types out her response, hoping that her question isn’t too spontaneous, because she doesn’t want to upset her friend.

(Or ‘dating friend’ as Lauren had called her the other week.)

**_Camz (10:47AM): i wanted to see if u wanted to go to the beach w/ me today and get some ice cream and go for a walk_ **

**_Camz (10:47AM): it’s chill if u don’t wanna i just figured i’d ask_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (10:48AM): Like as a date?_ **

**_Camz (10:48AM): yeah_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (10:49AM): What time do I need to be ready by? And are you picking me up, or are we meeting on the beach? Or should I ask my mom if I can borrow her car and pick you up?_ **

**_Camz (10:50AM): i’ll pick u up at 12 and we’ll go for a walk on the beach and get ice cream. wear ‘beachy’ clothes i guess bc it’s kinda hot today i don’t think ur usual attire of an oversized sweater and jeans will b suitable i don’t want my lolo to die of heat stroke_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (10:51AM): Beachy clothes. You’ll pick me up at 12. Okay. I will go and tell my parents I have plans now._ **

**_Camz (10:52AM): sorry if this is like really spontaneous, i wasn’t sure if i should ask u in case it upset u for being not planned in advance and stuff_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (10:52AM): We just planned it though. It’s not like you showed up at my house and told me that we were going somewhere. You asked me first and then we planned it and that’s okay because I try not to schedule my weekends a lot. It’s just the weekdays I like to plan._ **

Camila breathes out a sigh of relief at Lauren’s answer and smiles, because the last thing she wants to do is upset Lauren.

**_Camz (10:53AM): good i’m glad_ **

**_Camz (10:53AM): but lo im serious about the sweater thing like pls snapchat me what ur planning on wearing bc i remember one time at school dinah told you to wear something ‘cool’ as in to help u stay cool on a hot day and then u showed up in a sweater that u thought was cool as in awesome_ **

**_Camz (10:54AM): don’t want my lolo to get too hot so plssss wear something that’s like the typical beach attire? (my snapchat is camilanaps by the way)_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (10:55AM): I’ll snapchat you what I’m going to wear. Mine’s laurenjauregui1 and it’s annoying that just laurenjauregui is taken because that’s what my username is on everything else like Twitter and Instagram._ **

**_Camz (10:56AM): is ur tumblr just laurenjauregui? i wanna stalk ur tumblr_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (10:57AM): No, that’s ssweet-dispositionn. I know yours. It’s waake-meup. I saw it open on your laptop one day._ **

Camila smiles, but then she notices a Snapchat notification and goes to open it, realising it’s from Lauren. She adds the older Latina back and then opens up the notification, her jaw dropping to the floor when she sees the picture, because _what the hell_ , since when did Lauren work out?

Camila screenshots the picture – really, can you blame her? – and is quick to text Lauren back.

**_Camz (11:00AM): yeah that’s okay omg_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:01AM): Why did you screenshot it?_ **

**_Camz (11:01AM): bc i think u looked pretty and i wanted to save it hahaha_ **

**_Camz (11:02AM): honestly lo even tho i love ur sweaters u should wear stuff like this more often bc ur abs are phenomenal_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:03AM): Tanks, Camziii :D_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:03AM): *Thanks_ **

**_Camz (11:05AM): honestly ur typo just made that cuter_ **

When Lauren doesn’t reply, Camila starts to worry, even though she realises the other girl is probably busy getting ready. So, she sends another text.

**_Camz (11:08AM): can u bring one of ur sweaters along pls??? not for u to wear but i wanna do that thing where i steal one of ur sweatshirts and wear it, obvi not today bc it’s gonna b hot but maybe to school_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:09AM): Which one do you want to steal? You’re not allowed my plain grey one or my uh huh honey one but you can have one of my The 1975 sweaters because you like them too. Only if I can have it back sometimes._ **

**_Camz (11:10AM): of course lolo i won’t steal it forever it’s urs before it’s mine I just wanna wear ur sweater_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:13AM): I got my sweater out of the closet for you. I will bring it with me when you pick me up and you can keep it in your car until you get home._ **

**_Camz (11:13AM): i’ll wear it 2 school on monday and when ppl ask if it’s urs i’ll say yeah and so am i_ **

**_Camz (11:14AM): u kno if u want me to be_ **

**_Camz (11:18AM): lo?_ **

**_Camz (11:20AM) i can see ur reading my messages and im sorry if i upset u_ **

Camila lets out the breath she didn’t know she’d been holding and locks her phone, staring down at it occasionally to see if she’d gotten a reply from Lauren. She hadn’t. It makes her worry, because she hadn’t meant to freak Lauren out with her sort-of joke. She wouldn’t mind being Lauren’s girlfriend, if that’s what the older girl wanted too.

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:27AM): You didn’t upset me, you just took me by surprise. You said not to get my hopes up about you maybe being my girlfriend because I said I wanted you to be and you seemed uncomfortable from what I could tell and you said it'd take time and I’m not sure if you’re making a joke right now._ **

**_Camz (11:28AM): im not joking about wanting to be urs but id rather we talked about our relationship’s label in person_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:28AM): Okay. When you pick me up we’ll talk about it._ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:29AM): Can I kiss you when you pick me up?_ **

**_Camz (11:30AM): of course u can baby girl <3_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:31AM): Good because kissing you is wonderful and I would like to initiate it more because usually it’s you who kisses me but I don’t know when it’s okay for me to kiss you._ **

**_Camz (11:31AM): if u wanna kiss me then just kiss me bc i liked it a lot too_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:31AM): But I didn’t know if it was okay. That’s why I didn’t. _ **

**_Camz (11:32AM): well u can make up for that by kissing me a lot today because u gotta kiss on a date_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:33AM): Are you setting off yet? And how much money should I bring for ice cream?_ **

**_Camz (11:34AM): i’m getting my shoes on now and u don’t need any money bc i’m paying_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:34AM): Are you sure? I’ll bring some money just in case because I want to be prepared. I’ll see you when you get here._ **

**_Camz (11:35AM): see u soon :)_ **

-

When Camila pulls up outside of Lauren’s house, she doesn’t even have to get out to knock, because the older Latina is already making her way down the driveway. Lauren gets into the car and sends Camila a nervous smile, before cupping the younger girl’s face with her hands and pulling her in for a soft kiss. It’s so gentle and tentative and Camila’s heart melts at it.

“Hey, Lo,” She greets when Lauren pulls away, her cheeks stained red. “Did you bring the sweater?”

“Yes,” Lauren holds out one of her _The 1975_ sweaters in Camila’s direction. “You’re going to wear it on Monday?”

“I am,” Camila nods and takes the sweater, putting it on the backseat. She starts driving again and offers Lauren the aux cord. “You can put your music on if you want.”

“Can I put Lana on?” Lauren asks as she plugs her phone in, and Camila sees her shuffling the artist _Lana Del Rey_ anyway. “I love Lana. Her music is really relaxed. My favourite song by her is American.”

“I’ve never listened to her before,” Camila replies. “She’s more indie, right? I like things like Taylor Swift. Poppy stuff.”

“I like some of Taylor Swift’s old music.” Lauren tells her, and Camila notices that her beautiful green eyes are closed and she’s tapping out a pattern on her leg. “Like _RED_. That album is her best.”

“Lo, can I ask you something?” Camila waits until Lauren nods to continue. “When you tap on your leg, is it a specific pattern or just… random?”

Lauren’s tapping ceases and she shrugs. “It’s- um, it’s a specific thing. Why? Is that bad?”

“No- it’s not bad, I was just wondering. I like knowing little things about you, Lolo,” Camila explains, relieved when Lauren resumes her tapping. “I like learning things about my friends.”

Lauren opens her eyes and looks Camila over for a moment. “We’re dating friends. Because I don’t think that normal friends kiss. I don’t kiss Mani or Dinah or Ally or Lex or Keana.”

Camila frowns when she realises one of Lauren’s friends had been missed off that list. “What about Lucy? Your _soulmate_?”

“I kissed her one time during that game of spin the bottle I told you about when you asked me if I’d kissed anybody.” Lauren informs her, staring out of the window. “She was my first kiss.”

Camila’s grip on the steering wheel tightens, and she decides that she really doesn’t like this Lucy girl. Even though Lauren had told her that Lucy being her ‘soulmate’ wasn’t romantic, she isn’t entirely comforted. “Oh.”

“Are you jealous again?” Lauren asks, and Camila is a little surprised that she could tell. “You don’t need to be jealous. Lucy’s my soulmate. You’re my Camz.”

“That’s why I’m jealous, Lo. You keep calling this girl your soulmate and apparently you’ve kissed her?” Camila replies. “How would you like it if I called Austin my soulmate and went out and kissed him?”

Lauren scowls. “He’s not, though. You don’t get it. Lucy is my soulmate because she understands me and we like the same things. We’re the same. You’re my Camz because we’re different.”

Camila frowns, but quickly returns her facial expression neutral, because she knows that Lauren worries when she frowns. “How are we different?”

“You like different things. You like to play guitar and you’re not good at art and you think differently to me but I still like you romantically.” Lauren explains. “Lucy thinks like me. That’s why she’s my soulmate. She understands me.”

“I understand you too, Lo.” Camila reminds her. “Or, at least, I’m trying to.”

“She understands me differently, though.” Lauren points out, snapping her fingers three times. “Lucy is my soulmate but I don’t want to date her. She has a girlfriend called Vero and I have a… a Camz. You can meet Lucy and Vero if you want. And you can meet Alexa and Keana.”

“I’d love to meet them,” Camila says, mostly because she wants to see if Lauren’s entirely sure that everything between her and Lucy is platonic. She can’t help being a bit wary. “They mean a lot to you, don’t they?”

“Yeah,” Lauren nods and glances towards Camila for a moment. “I told them about you. Did I tell you that? At art class on Wednesday I told them all about you and our date and they told me that they wanted to meet you.”

“Well, you can tell them about this date, too.” Camila smiles. “They’ll be shocked when they hear you’re not wearing a sweater.”

Lauren giggles and her cheeks flush pink. “I don’t wear sweaters every day. Just most days, because they’re comfy. I like it when they’re big on me.”

“They look cute on you,” Camila compliments her, feeling a little proud of herself when Lauren blushes even more. “But then so does this outfit. Like, _damn_ , Lo, your abs are… really something.”

“A good something?” Lauren asks. “I’m assuming so, because you screenshotted the Snapchat I sent you earlier.”

“A _very_ good something. Do you work out?” Camila questions her. “Because you look like you work out.”

“Um… not really. I used to play softball but I stopped that. The crowd being really loud made me frustrated.” Lauren taps on her leg. “I sometimes go for runs, though. Does that count?”

“It does.” Camila nods. “That’s probably why your body is as nice as it is. But- um, do you remember what we talked about over text?”

“We talked about lots of things.” Lauren replies, rubbing her hand up and down her thigh. “Like, um, what we’re going to do today.”

“I meant about the whole… me wearing your sweater because I want to be yours thing.” Camila points out, watching as Lauren seems to tense. “And I said I’d rather talk about that in person.”

“You said- um, you didn’t want to be my girlfriend because we didn’t want to rush.” Lauren murmurs, turning to meet Camila’s gaze for a moment before looking down at her feet. “I don’t know when it’s okay to say we’re girlfriends because I don’t know when it’s too soon.”

Camila smiles. “I told you we didn’t want to rush two weeks ago because I wanted to see how things went, and I think they’re going pretty well. Do you?”

“Yes.” Lauren hums to herself. “I have been very happy since we started to date. I look forward to going to school so I can see you and it makes me smile every time I see I have a text from you.”

“Exactly,” Camila nods and with the hand that’s not on the steering wheel, reaches out and gives Lauren’s hand a gentle squeeze. “If you want me to be your girlfriend, I can be. I just want you to be certain that you know what we’re committing to. Normani has told me that you’ve never dated anybody before, and I don’t ever want to do anything to make you uncomfortable. I need to know that you’re certain you want this.”

“I- um… yes. I have thought about it and I’m certain, because if you do anything that makes me uncomfortable I will tell you and you’ll stop.” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and nods, mostly to herself. She’s silent for a moment, and Camila starts to worry, but then when she finds her words, her heart melts. “Um… Camz, will you- uh, be my… my girlfriend?”

“I would love to be your girlfriend, Lolo,” Camila answers, grinning to herself when Lauren sits up in surprise. “Thank you for asking me.”

“So… that’s a yes?” Lauren asks her, hope swimming in her gorgeous emerald eyes. “I’m just making sure.”

“That’s a yes.” Camila lets out a warm laugh, finding it incredibly hard to keep her eyes on the road when her adorable girlfriend is grinning from ear to ear next to her. “Why would it ever be anything other than a yes? You’re practically perfect, honey.”

Lauren turns crimson. “I’m glad that we are exclusive now, because it means that you can’t date anyone but me and that makes me happy because you’re- um, you’re mine and I’m yours.”

Camila laughs. “Yep. So I guess this is our first official date as girlfriends. I feel like we should probably do more than just get ice cream, but whatever. Ice cream is great.”

“Yes, I like ice cream,” Lauren says distractedly, “You called me perfect. I don’t think I’m perfect but I’m glad that you think I am.”

Camila smiles. “Well, I guess it’s my job to make you believe how perfect you are then, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know. Is it?” Lauren frowns. “Is that something girlfriends have to do?”

As Camila pulls into a parking space, she lets out a small laugh, pushing away the way her stomach twists at Lauren’s adorable question. “No, baby. It was a rhetorical question.”

“Oh, I hate those.” Lauren is quick to reply, a small scowl on her face. “I don’t see the point in them. Questions are supposed to have answers and rhetorical questions are just stupid because they don’t work like actual questions. Sometimes people say lots of stupid things like rhetorical questions and- um, idioms. I don’t like idioms either. What’s the point in saying something if you’re not actually going to say it? There isn’t a point. Just be _clear_.”

Camila laughs at Lauren’s little rant. “Sometimes they work well in conversation. Idioms are just a way of making things casual. Like… ‘jump the gun’ is way more informal than ‘prematurely’.”

“But ‘prematurely’ makes _sense_.” Lauren retorts. “Doing something too early has nothing to do with jumping and guns. I just don’t like it when people talk figuratively.”

“Well, I’m sorry for asking a rhetorical question, then,” Camila apologises, reaching over and squeezing her girlfriend’s hand. “I’ll be more literal next time, Lo.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods and looks down at their hands, lacing her fingers between Camila’s. “Can we hold hands while we eat our ice cream?”

“Of course we can,” Camila nods. “If you want to hold my hand you can do it. I’m your girlfriend. Holding hands is generally okay.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “Alright. What are we going to do after we get ice cream?”

“Just go for a walk along the beach.” Camila says, cringing a little when she notices how busy it is. Hopefully, if she keeps Lauren distracted, the older girl won’t notice. “Holding hands on the beach. Is that okay with you?”

“I like holding your hand because your hands are soft.” Lauren responds as she gets out of the car, and Camila is pretty sure that translates to a yes. “You’re very gentle, too. You don’t squeeze too hard when you do that thing to make me feel better. Also, I like it when you draw things with your thumb. You make patterns. Invisible art.”

“Let’s be honest, it’s better if my art is invisible.” Camila replies with a laugh. “If it was visible we both know it wouldn’t be very good.”

“I’m getting my tattoo in summer.” Lauren tells her, the subject change completely out of nowhere. “I turn eighteen on June 27th and I’m getting my tattoo in July. I already told you it’s of a dragonfly but it’s a dragonfly that I drew. I’m happy I didn’t have to wait until then to get my nose piercing though. I love my nose piercing. It used to be a stud but I changed it to a ring a few weeks before you came.”

Camila smiles and squeezes Lauren’s hand. “I think your nose ring suits you, Lo. It’s really pretty.”

“Would you ever get a piercing?” Lauren asks her. “They hurt a lot but they’re worth it. I really like piercings. I have five.”

Camila blinks in confusion, ignoring Lauren’s question for the moment. “You have _five_? I thought you only had your nose done.”

“I have my nose, both earlobes and then a double helix piercing up here on my ear,” Lauren pushes her hair back with her free hand to show Camila the piercings. “Five holes. I think when I get my tattoo I will get my second earlobe piercing on both ears too, so then I’ll have seven.”

“Wow, I’m dating a girl with five piercings and a future tattoo,” Camila comments with a small smile. “Clearly I’m with a badass.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Yes, I’m badass.”

Camila laughs, because really, Lauren’s the least badass person she’s ever met. But whatever, Lauren seems happy with Camila’s words as she walks along, swinging her and Camila’s hands, so the younger Latina decides not to say anything.

“Camz?” Lauren looks up at her for a moment as they stop in front of the ice cream parlour and pulls a twenty dollar bill out of her pocket. “Do you want me to go halfsies with you on the ice cream?”

“Nope,” Camila responds easily, popping the ‘p’. “I’m paying for this. You bought me ice cream at the end of our first date, remember? Think of this as me paying you back.”

“But- I don’t want you to pay me back.” Lauren protests, frowning to herself. “I want to be- um, chivalrous and romantic. I read online that it’s romantic to offer to pay.”

Camila laughs. “Exactly. I’m being romantic and paying for our ice cream. We can’t _both_ be chivalrous at the same time, and this is my turn for that.”

“Oh,” Lauren takes her words in for a moment and stuffs her twenty dollars back into the pocket of her shorts. “Okay then. That makes sense.”

Camila pays for their ice creams and passes Lauren hers – the older girl barely goes two seconds before grabbing hold of Camila’s free hand as they walk along the beach. “Lauren? Can I ask you some things?”

“Okay.” Lauren says, mostly preoccupied by her ice cream. “Like what?”

“Well,” Camila thinks of a question on the spot. “What’s your favourite colour?”

“Blue,” Lauren is quick to reply. “You’re blue. I told you that before when I was telling you why stupid fuckboy Austin was orange. I _hate_ orange. It gives me a headache.”

Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “My favourite colour used to be yellow, but it’s green now. Like your eyes. Beautiful emerald.”

“It’s lucky that my eye colour is like your favourite colour,” Lauren says, completely missing the point. “I wish my favourite colour was brown, but it’s not. I think your eyes are beautiful though. They’re warm and welcoming and they make me feel at peace.”

“That’s really sweet, Lo,” Camila’s stomach flutters at Lauren’s compliment. “You’re so good with words.”

“I am?” Lauren blinks in surprise. “That’s interesting. Most people tell me that I say confusing things sometimes, but I don’t understand how they’re confusing because they make sense to me.”

“You’re good at making other people feel good.” Camila clarifies, tracing patterns – or ‘invisible art’ – against Lauren’s knuckles. “You always say all of these beautiful things to me.”

“That’s because you _are_ beautiful,” Lauren tells her as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re _art_ , Camz. I’m not going to lie and say other things because I’m just telling you the truth.”

“Lo,” Camila kisses Lauren’s temple, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

Lauren frowns in confusion. “I don’t know what you mean. Can you explain?”

“No, it’s just-” Camila lets out a content sigh and presses another kiss to Lauren’s cheek. “You’re so amazingly sweet and I don’t know why _you_ like _me_. You treat me wonderfully and you don’t ask for anything in return and I don’t get why you picked me to give your affection to.”

“I didn’t _pick_ you.” Lauren replies, her eyes gazing ahead of them at the ocean. “It just happened, because you were really nice to me when we met and you didn’t think I was weird and you weren’t mean to me like most people are. You’re also really pretty and it made my stomach go funny and I want to make you happy.”

“I really don’t feel like I deserve you, Lolo,” Camila squeezes her girlfriend’s hand. “You’re too good for me.”

“I’m not!” Lauren turns to her with wide eyes. “Camz, you’re wonderful! You were so nice to me when we met and-”

“That’s the thing, Lauren, I wasn’t,” Camila interrupts, “I was always so subtle about it, but I wasn’t nice to you. I was being civil because we had the same friends, because I thought that you didn’t like me either since you were always so quiet with me.”

Lauren blinks in confusion. “But… you sat with me in class and you were my new friend and you invited me to your house.”

Camila sighs. “I didn’t invite you, Lo. Not at first. I invited Ally, Mani and Dinah, and then Dinah told you. I didn’t think you’d say yes, anyway. I thought you didn’t like me either.”

“But you did invite me,” Lauren says to her, “because when I showed you my drawing I thanked you for inviting me and you didn’t say I wasn’t invited.”

“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” Camila shrugs. “After that I talked to Dinah and she explained everything. She told me that you were being quiet around me because you didn’t want to do something I might think was weird and then have me stop talking to you or something.”

Lauren hums to herself. “I didn’t make a new friend?”

“You did,” Camila is quick to assure her, kissing her cheek. “But only when you opened up after I told you I’d like you to talk more.”

“You didn’t like me at first?” Lauren sniffles and bites down on her lip. “I’m sorry that you thought I didn’t like you. I was frightened because you were new and new things are scary sometimes.”

“Lo, no, don’t get upset,” Camila cups Lauren’s face so the older Latina is meeting her gaze. “I think you’re the most amazing person on the planet now. It’s okay that we didn’t get off to the ideal start, because we’re in a pretty good position now.”

Lauren looks away from her and nods. “Yes. Good position. It’s okay now.”

Camila kisses Lauren on the corner of her mouth and sends the older girl a small smile. “That’s why I think I don’t deserve you, Lo. I was rude to you without really giving you a chance. You, however, are so unbelievably sweet to everyone. You don’t make judgements until you’ve talked to someone enough.”

“You do deserve me, though,” Lauren murmurs, “you make me happy. You’re my Camzi.”

“Yeah,” Camila squeezes her hand. “I’m your Camzi. Always.”


	13. Chapter 13

“I don’t want to do that.”

Camila huffs. “Why not?”

“I’m not good at it.” Lauren glances at her from over the top of her book and shrugs. “I want to stay here and read my book.”

“Lo,” Dinah sits down on the lounge chair Lauren is sat on, “come in the pool. Please? Just for a few minutes?”

“I don’t want to,” Lauren doesn’t look up from her book this time. “I’m not a very good swimmer.”

“You have a pool in your back yard. You have plenty of time to practice.” Camila points out, perching on the other side of Lauren’s lounge chair. “Just five minutes. Ally didn’t want to come in either, but now she’s having loads of fun.”

Lauren looks over her book at Ally, who is chasing Normani around the pool. “I want to read my book. I don’t like swimming because I’m not good at it.”

“You don’t have to be good at it to have fun with us, Ralph,” Dinah rolls her eyes, “besides, I’m sure we can find some armbands somewhere if you’re that worried about drowning.”

“Leave me alone,” Lauren turns over a page in her book, “I don’t want to swim. I want to read my book.”

“You’re so _boring_ sometimes, Lauser,” Dinah replies with an overdramatic huff, “but fine. Whatever. Walz and I will go and have fun. Bye.”

With that, Dinah walks back towards the pool and jumps in, making sure to splash Ally and Normani as much as she can. Camila, however, stays with Lauren and gently touches a hand to her girlfriend’s leg. “Are you sure you don’t want to swim, Lolo?”

“Uh-huh,” Lauren hums and picks up her phone, plugging her earphones in. “I want to read my book. But I’m not boring, Dinah is lying, I’m lots of fun to spend time with. I just want to read right now.”

“I know you’re not boring, Lo,” Camila laughs, “I’ve hung out with you plenty of times, like on our dates. The girls just don’t want you to feel left out.”

“But I don’t,” Lauren finally puts her book down and glances up at Camila, but the younger Latina doesn’t get to see her eyes, as they’re hidden behind her sunglasses. “I like reading. Maybe when I’ve finished I’ll come in and play with you guys. But I don’t feel left out.”

“Okay, as long as you’re sure.” Camila pauses for a second before tugging on the sleeve of Lauren’s black sweater. “Aren’t you hot in this? I’m too hot and I’m only in my bikini.”

Lauren looks Camila over with flushed cheeks and then shakes her head. “Um, I like wearing sweaters. They’re nice and cuddly and I love it when they’re big on me.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Camila points out with a small smile, “I’ve noticed that you do that sometimes. I ask you a question and you ramble about something else.”

“Oh, um… I’m sorry,” Lauren apologises and starts fiddling with the sleeve of her sweater. “I don’t mean to do it.”

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing, Lolo,” Camila replies, “I was just making an observation. I think it’s cute.”

“You think I’m cute?” Lauren repeats with a small smile. “Why? Is it because you’re my Camz?”

“I guess it’s partially because of that, but mostly you’re just adorable and anyone with eyes can see it,” Camila shrugs, not sure if Lauren took her compliment in the right way. “But yeah, aren’t you too hot in that big sweater?”

“A little,” Lauren plays with the hem of her sweater and sends Camila a shy smile, “I don’t want to take it off, though. This is my favourite sweater. I love it.”

“Still, you don’t want to get overheated,” Camila reminds her, gently brushing a hand through Lauren’s hair after waiting for the older Latina’s green light. And yeah, Lauren feels pretty hot. “Do you have your swimsuit on underneath there?”

“Yes, my bikini,” Lauren nods quickly, “it’s black and white and I’ve had it for over a year now.”

“Take your sweater off, Lo. It’s too hot for you to be wearing that.” Camila tries to advise her. “You’ll get sick if you don’t.”

“But I don’t _want_ to.” Lauren’s reply is louder and a lot more frustrated than Camila expects, and it takes her by surprise. “Stop trying to make me do things like get in the pool or take my sweater off. I don’t want to.”

“Lauren, no, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Camila is quick to clarify, “I just don’t want you to get overheated and end up sick. If you don’t want to take your sweater off, you don’t have to. It was just a suggestion.”

“Maybe later.” Lauren hums and looks over at their friends in the pool. “Like when I finish reading. Then I might take my sweater off and come in the pool. But not right now. I don’t want to right now.”

“Okay.” Camila leans down and kisses Lauren as gently as she can. “I’m going to go back in the pool. If you need me, call for me.”

Camila is barely two steps away from her when she hears a small, “Camz.”

“Yeah?” She turns back to Lauren with an amused smile. “What’s wrong, Lolo?”

“Nothing is wrong,” Lauren taps on her leg and holds out one of her earbuds. “Will you sit with me and listen to Lana? I want you to play with my hair while I read my book. I like it when you play with my hair.”

Camila hums in thought. “I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll sit with you for ten minutes, and you’ll come in the pool afterwards for ten minutes. Okay?”

“But- it’s going to take more than ten minutes for me to read as much as I want to,” Lauren protests, sending Camila her puppy dog eyes. And really, how can she resist _that_? “Um- and I want to listen to Lana and it’ll take more than ten minutes for me to listen to an album.”

“Alright, new deal,” Camila sits down next to Lauren on her lounge chair, and smiles when the older Latina immediately moves so she’s in the perfect position for Camila to play with her hair. “I’ll sit with you until you finish a Lana album. Then we’ll go in the pool together. Deal?”

“How long do I have to go in the pool for?” Lauren asks, looking towards the pool apprehensively. “I’m not a very good swimmer. I don’t- um, I don’t like going in pools with other people.”

“Why not?” Camila starts running a hand through Lauren’s hair as the older girl offers her an earbud. “Don’t you like pool parties and stuff?”

“I don’t like parties in general,” Lauren tells her, “but- um, we had swimming lessons in gym class for a semester last year, and I was in a class without Ally, DJ and Mani. Some people- um, they held me under the water to upset me.”

Camila bites back her tears and wraps a protective arm around her girlfriend. “Lo… I’m promising you right now that nobody will ever touch you again. I swear on it. If someone so much as says something mean to you, I want you to tell me straight away. Then I’ll tell Dinah and she’ll beat them up.”

“I don’t like violence.” Lauren rests her head on Camila’s shoulder. “I don’t want to make anyone unhappy. Like- um, when you were going to homecoming with Austin instead of me, I wanted to do something bad. But I didn’t.”

“What do you mean by ‘something bad’, baby?” Camila asks, “Like- hurt him?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head, “I wanted to tell you what he did to me so you wouldn’t go with him anymore, but then I saw how happy you were about having a date so I didn’t.”

“What he did to you?” Camila repeats, sitting up with wide eyes, “Lauren, has he hurt you in the past?”

“Um… he called me a _freak_ and the, uh, the ‘r’ word.” Lauren looks anywhere but Camila as she speaks. “And he took Nala from me when I brought her into school once to make me feel better and he made her smell different and I couldn’t sleep properly for a week. That’s why I don’t let people touch Nala, because they make her smell different.”

Camila tries to push the Austin thing out of her head, because really, it’s just more of a confirmation that he’s a huge jerk, and she never should’ve said yes to him. “You let me touch Nala.”

“Yes, because you’re my Camz, you’re wonderful,” Lauren replies, “you smell good. You don’t make her smell a bad different. You’re my Camz and I want to share things I love with you. Like Nala. I love her lots, she’s my best friend.”

“I thought Mani, Ally and Dinah were your best friends,” Camila jokes, “I guess they’ve been replaced, huh?”

Lauren gives her a look of horror, “No, I love them lots too, it’s just- Nala is like, my security. She makes me better.”

“I know you love them, honey,” Camila traces three circles on Lauren’s palm, in a way she knows calms the other girl down. “It was a joke. I have a question for you, though.”

“Okay,” Lauren nuzzles up against her and gets herself comfortable, her eyes returning to her book. “What’s your question?”

“You haven’t called me your girlfriend yet,” Camila notices how Lauren tenses, “you’ve only referred to me as your _Camz_. Why haven’t you called me your girlfriend yet?”

“I- um… I don’t want to- um… force the label on you?” Lauren says that like she’s not very sure what she means. “I don’t want you to think I’m too clingy or too eager. I don’t want to scare you away.”

“Lauren, if I didn’t want to be your girlfriend, I wouldn’t be your girlfriend,” Camila kisses Lauren’s forehead and brushes a hand through her hair. “It’s okay for you to call me it. We already talked it over and decided that’s what we are.”

“Okay…” Lauren glances up at her for a moment, uncertain, and then looks down at the floor. “You’re my girlfriend. My girlfriend. Camila is my girlfriend.”

“Lovely that you finally caught on, Laur,” Ally grabs a towel from the empty lounge chair and sends her friend a teasing smile. “Y’all are too cute.”

“Yeah,” Normani smiles, “so are you Facebook official yet?”

Camila laughs, but Lauren doesn’t take it as a joke. Instead, she frowns. “Are we supposed to be? Does it mean that she’s not really my girlfriend until we are? Where’s my phone? I need to make us Facebook official.”

Camila exchanges a small smile with Ally and Normani as Lauren fumbles for her phone and opens up her Facebook app, frowning down at the screen in confusion. She looks over to Camila and shuffles so the younger Latina can see her phone screen.

“What’s up, Lo?” Camila asks as Lauren opens up a status update.

“Do I just write in here that you’re my girlfriend? Is that how I make it official?” Lauren asks, genuinely confused. Camila has to hold back her _aw_ , because really, her girlfriend is too cute. “I don’t know how to use Facebook very well. I never go on it. I’m better at Tumblr and Instagram.”

Camila smiles. “You know Mani was just joking, right? We don’t have to put it on Facebook to make our relationship official. We’re already official.”

Lauren looks down at her phone as if it’s just jumped up and performed a backflip. “Oh. Well, I might as well, now that I have it open. How do I do it, though?”

“Hand me your phone,” Camila waits until Lauren passes her phone, trying to contain her jealousy a little bit when she sees a message from Lucy, Lauren’s apparent soulmate, pop up. She conveniently closes the chat and goes onto Lauren’s profile, setting it up so they’re ‘Facebook official’ because she knows her girlfriend won’t stop asking until it’s sorted. “There. I’ve done it.”

Lauren marvels down at her phone and then throws her arms around Camila. “Thanks, Camz. Now we’re official and everyone knows you’re my girlfriend.”

Camila hugs her back and kisses the top of Lauren’s head, a little taken off guard when Lauren kisses her excitedly and then turns back to her book like nothing had happened. That was big – Lauren was always nervous to initiate kisses – and Camila can’t help but feel proud of her.

“Lauren?” Camila gets her attention again. “Can I cuddle you while you read?”

Lauren shuffles up close to Camila with a shy smile. “I like cuddling you. You’re my Camz and my girlfriend. You- um, you like me romantically.”

“I do,” Camila gives Lauren a gentle squeeze around her midriff as the older Latina flicks over a page in her book. “I love it when you do little things like kiss me first, Lo. I’d like you to do that more often too.”

“I will kiss you, yes,” Lauren pecks Camila just off the corner of her mouth, “Camzi? Can I ask you something?”

“Of course. Go ahead, Lolo,” Camila traces circles on Lauren’s palm as she waits for the older girl to find her words. “You know you can always ask me anything.”

“Are you- um, are you really my girlfriend? I know you said you are, but I don’t know if you’re just… pitying me?” Lauren taps on her leg, her eyes closed. “I- um, you said before our date that you pitied me and gave me a second chance because I’m a freak and-”

“No- Lauren,” Camila is quick to cut her off, guilt multiplying in the pit of her stomach, “you’re not a freak, angel. I didn’t mean that, and I feel so guilty about it because I know you’re not going to forget it easily.”

“It makes me sad to think about it.” Lauren admits, looking down at her feet. “I want you to date me because you like me. Not because you feel bad for me.”

“It makes me upset to think about it, too.” Camila admits, because she let her anger get the best of her and ended up hurting sweet, adorable Lauren in the process. “I promised you I’d never call you that again, and I won’t. Because I don’t think you’re a freak, Lauren. You’re anything other than that.”

“Or a-” Lauren cuts herself off, “um… you don’t think I’m the ‘r’ word, do you?”

It takes Camila a few moments to realise what the ‘r’ word is, and her eyes widen. She shakes her head so quickly she’s worried she’s given herself whiplash and runs her hand through Lauren’s hair, kissing her forehead. “No. I don’t think you’re the ‘r’ word, baby.”

Lauren frowns and taps out a pattern against Camila’s leg. “I think- um, I think you’re lying.”

“What?” Camila feels a pang of hurt in her chest, because did Lauren not trust her or something? “I’m not lying, Lolo. Why do you think that?”

“You still look at me funny. Sometimes.” Lauren tells her, and Camila has no idea what she’s talking about. “And, um, you seemed a lot more excited to go out with Austin than you did to go out with me. I think you’re not really my girlfriend and you just feel bad for me because you think I’m the ‘r’ word.”

“I didn’t realise I was looking at you weirdly, Lo. I don’t mean to do that. Sometimes you just… say things and I don’t get it, so I try and figure out what you mean through your body language.” Camila slowly explains herself, unable to believe what Lauren is accusing her of. “And maybe I seemed more excited to go out with Austin because you were the one I was talking to about it. When you asked me out, Dinah was the person I talked to because I couldn’t exactly gush about my date to my date.”

Lauren hums to herself and snaps her fingers three times. “Promise me?”

“Promise you what?” Camila asks. “That I’m really yours?”

“Mhm,” Lauren nods and rests her head back against Camila’s chest. “Promise me that you really like me and you don’t think that I’m the ‘r’ word and that this is real.”

“I promise.” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “I promise you that I don’t think you’re the ‘r’ word and that this is real. I really like you, Lauren. You’re so sweet and funny and smart and fucking _gorgeous_ and it makes me infinitely happy that you’re my girlfriend. Okay?”

“Okay,” Lauren rubs her hand down her thigh, “and- um, I promise that I’ll… uh, treat you right. Like- I’ll be a good girlfriend. Because this is real and I really like you and I want you to really like me too.”

“I already like you, angel,” Camila assures her, “Like I said before, I wouldn’t be your girlfriend if I didn’t. And I promise I’ll treat you right, too. Because you deserve the world, Lolo.”

Lauren snuggles her face into Camila’s neck. “Thank you, Camzi.”

“I should be thanking you, honey,” Camila laughs, “you’re the one who’s so forgiving and gentle and just… everything. You’re everything, Lo. You’re so careful when you touch me and kiss me; you treat me like I’m the most precious thing in the world and I think that’s amazing.”

“I think you’re amazing.” Lauren says, sitting up and picking her book up again. “Do you want to come and meet my art class friends next week? I’m going to Lex’s house for a barbecue and she said that I should invite you.”

“Yeah,” Camila nods. “Yeah, I’d like that. Who else is going to be there? Other than Alexa?”

“Keana and Lucy.” Lauren says, Camila feeling that familiar pang of jealousy at the mention of Lucy. “I don’t know if Vero is going though. I don’t talk to Vero as much because she doesn’t go to my art class. She’s just Lucy’s girlfriend.”

“Your soulmate’s going to be there, huh?” Camila mutters to herself, but Lauren catches it. She opens her mouth to explain something, but Camila beats her to it. “Don’t bother explaining. You’ve told me why she’s your _soulmate_. It’s just… I’m still a little jealous. Sorry, Lo.”

“You’re my Camz,” Lauren says, as if that makes it better. “You’re not my soulmate. You’re my _Camz_. That’s better than soulmate.”

“It is?” Camila frowns. “Because there’s all these beautiful stories about people finding their soulmates and living happily ever after. There’s no stories about people finding their _Camz_.”

Lauren taps against her leg. “That’s because you’re special. You’re one of a kind. You haven’t read about people finding their Camz because you get to feel it happen for yourself. You’re unprecedented.”

Camila feels her stomach flip and she leans down to kiss Lauren. “That’s beautiful.”

“See? Camz is better than soulmate.” Lauren tells her. “You’re special. Everyone has a soulmate, but only I have a Camz.”

“Well, Lolo,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand, “You need to do your Camz a favour and come for a little swim with her. Five minutes. Please?”

Lauren hums, and instead of replying, pulls off her sweater and jeans to reveal her bikini, and takes Camila’s hand. She tugs her towards the pool and sits down on the edge. “How long? Only five minutes?”

“Yeah, only five minutes,” Camila slowly walks Lauren into the pool and then wraps her arms around her girlfriend’s waist. “See. It’s not so bad.”

Lauren glances around her and shrugs. “Yes. Not so bad. It’s- um, a little cold, but not too bad. Can I kiss you, Camzi?”

“Go for it,” Camila replies, smiling when Lauren cups her face and kisses her softly. She tries deepening the kiss, because Lauren never really goes further than a quick peck on the lips, but the older Latina pulls away with a frown as Camila’s tongue traces her bottom lip. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Lauren rests a hand on Camila’s shoulder. “I was just- um, surprised. That’s all. You can keep going if you want.”

“Okay,” Camila pulls Lauren back in for another kiss, and this time, her attempt at deepening it is successful. She can tell that Lauren’s nervous, so she doesn’t kiss her for too long, pulling away in favour of kissing her on the forehead. “While kissing you is absolutely amazing, I think that we probably _shouldn’t_ make out in front of our friends.”

Normani laughs. “Good idea, Mila.”

“You’re doing a great job at reminding me how single I am,” Dinah adds, sending a splash of water in their direction. “Knock it off with the romancing. It’s gross.”

“It’s not gross,” Lauren defensively responds, “Camila is wonderful and kissing her and making her happy is wonderful for me. Don’t be mean, DMac. It’s not our fault you’re single.”

Camila laughs. “Lo, she was kidding. She doesn’t really think it’s gross.”

“Yes I do,” Dinah sends them a teasing smile. “It’s _disgusting_.”

“Yeah, well, I remember when you were dating Siope and you had your tongue down his throat at every possible opportunity.” Lauren shoots back, turning to Camila and kissing her on the cheek. “So there. You’re worse than us.”

Normani tries to hold back her laughter but fails completely, Ally giving her a small smack on the arm in an attempt to make her stop. “Damn, girl. You just got sassed.”

Camila lets out a laugh of her own as Lauren wraps her arms around her waist and sends her a shy smile. “Yeah, Cheechee. Lolo just destroyed you.”

“I didn’t mean to _sass_ her,” Lauren is quick to defend herself. “I was just telling the truth.”

Normani sends Lauren a teasing smile as she swims past them. “You’re too innocent for your own good, Lo.”

“I’m not-” Lauren blinks and turns to Camila with wide eyes. “I’m not _innocent_. I- um, have piercings. And I swear sometimes. And I’ve had alcohol before. Camz says I’m badass.”

Ally laughs. “She does, huh? Well, maybe your girlfriend is dating a different Lauren Jauregui.”

“Yeah, sorry to ruin your little delusion but you’re not badass, Ralph,” Dinah says as if she’s breaking the worst news ever to the older girl. “Badasses tend to be pretty intimidating. You’re as intimidating as a puppy.”

Lauren pouts. “I can be scary if I want to be. Right, Camz? You think I’m a badass, right?”

“I do,” Camila confirms, even though she one hundred percent agrees with Dinah. “You’re the most badass person I’ve ever met, Lolo.”

Lauren smiles to herself in satisfaction and then turns around to Dinah, sending the Tongan girl a victorious smirk. “See? I’m badass because Camz says I am.”

Dinah snorts. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Lauser.”

With that, Lauren turns back to Camila, opting to look past her rather than straight at her. “I think I’m going to get out of the pool now. It’s been five minutes and I don’t really like it that much. I’d rather read my book.”

“Alright, honey,” Camila smiles as Lauren practically drags her out of the pool. “If that’s what you want.”

“Will you sit with me while I read?” Lauren asks her, but she’s already virtually sat on Camila’s lap, leaving the younger girl little choice in the matter. “I want to cuddle you. Is that okay? I know we’re both kind of wet from the pool, but I have a towel if you want to get dry. And- um… it’s hot out, so… the sun will dry us, too. But I want to cuddle.”

“We can cuddle.” Camila says as her arms wrap around Lauren’s waist. The older Latina’s head rests on her shoulder, and she’s perfectly content to sit and play with Lauren’s hair as the older girl reads, one earbud in and the other offered to Camila.

Camila decides that she doesn’t want to move at all for the rest of the day.


	14. Chapter 14

Lauren wiggles her fingers between Camila’s as she waits for the door in front of them to open, her heart pounding through her chest. While she knows she trusts Camila, she’s incredibly nervous for her to meet her art class friends, because she doesn’t know if it’ll go well. She’s never faced this situation before and has no idea what to expect.

“Lo?” Camila seems to sense her nerves, and Lauren hums in acknowledgement, her eyes looking over the patterns carved into the door in front of them. “Don’t be nervous, honey. All that’s going to happen is I’m going to meet your friends.”

“I don’t know how it’ll happen, though.” Lauren tells her. “That’s what makes me nervous. It’s not you.”

“I didn’t think it was me,” Camila is quick to assure her, and Lauren’s worry melts away. “I just want you to be comfortable, Lolo. I can always go home if you’re not ready for me to meet your art class friends.”

“No, don’t go,” Lauren keeps a tight grip on her hand in case Camila decides she’s going to leave anyway. “Alexa wants to meet you. And Keana and Lucy, and I guess Lucy’s girlfriend Vero, but I don’t know if she’s here. Sometimes she doesn’t come and hang out with us.”

“Okay,” Camila nods as the door in front of them swings open, and her thumb traces patterns over Lauren’s knuckles, probably in an effort to calm her down.

“Lo,” Alexa sends her a wide smile, and Lauren looks up for a moment to return it, before looking down at her shoes. “This must be Camila? She’s told me lots about you, actually- it’s really cute. Come in!”

At the prompt, Lauren enters Alexa’s house, still holding onto Camila’s hand. She takes her shoes off and then looks up at Alexa, pointing to Camila. “Lex? This is Camz. She’s my girlfriend.”

“I know, Lo,” Alexa laughs, but Lauren doesn’t know what’s funny. “You told me she was coming with you the other day when you texted me. Lucy and Keana are in the lounge if you want to introduce them to your girlfriend.”

“Is Vero here?” Lauren asks as she grabs Camila’s hand again, tugging her towards Alexa’s lounge. “I want Camz to meet her too.”

“Nope, she’s not,” Alexa tells her, “but maybe you and Camila can go on a double date with Lucy and Vero. Then they can meet.”

Lauren looks up at Camila with hopeful eyes, because really, that’s the best idea she’s heard all week. “Yes! Camz, can we go on a double date with Lucy and Vero?”

Camila shrugs. “If you want, I guess.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods and sits down on the couch next to Lucy, making sure that Camila is next to her. Then, she kisses her girlfriend on the cheek and announces to the room, “This is Camila, she’s my girlfriend. Isn’t she pretty?”

Camila blushes, presumably at Lauren’s compliment, as her friends greet her. Lauren tunes out a little bit as Keana takes Camila into conversation, but smiles when she feels someone take hold of her free hand and she turns around to see Lucy.

“Hi,” Lauren lets go of Camila's hand and holds her fist out for Lucy to bump, their usual greeting, as Lucy doesn’t like hugs unless they’re from Vero. “You weren’t at art class on Wednesday. Why weren’t you there?”

“I was with Vero.” Lucy replies and starts fiddling with Lauren’s fingers. Lauren doesn’t mind it, because she knows it’s one of Lucy’s stims. “She asked me to skip. Would you skip if your Camila asked you to?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head quickly, because art class is part of her usual routine and she doesn’t want to ruin that. “I would never miss art class. Maybe one day Camila can come with me to it, but she’s not good at art. She drew that picture on my wall that’s like a stick person with green eyes.”

Lucy frowns in thought. “Oh, I remember. You’re right, she’s not very good at art. Not like us.”

“Yes, but it’s still nice because it’s from my Camzi,” Lauren says, jumping in surprise when she feels someone else grab onto her free hand. She relaxes when she realises it’s just Camila. “Hi, Camzi. This is Lucy. She’s my-”

“Soulmate, yeah, I’ve heard,” Camila cuts her off, looking at Lucy with a frown. “How did you meet Lauren, then?”

“At art class. We both like art, and it’s really cool because we have the same special interests,” Lucy responds, exchanging a small smile with Lauren, who beams because Camila is finally meeting her soulmate. “We have everything in common, don’t we, Lo? Except you’re autistic and I have Asperger’s. That’s why we’re soulmates.”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums, and on impulse, kisses Camila’s cheek. “I’m really happy that my soulmate is finally meeting my Camz. Camz makes me really happy, Luc, I understand what you mean when you talk about Vero now. Can we go on a double date sometime? I want Camz to meet Vero because she’s my friend too.”

“Okay,” Lucy looks Camila over and sends her a bright smile, which the younger Latina doesn’t return. “Lauren tells me everything about you. You’re really special to her, I can tell.”

“See, Camz?” Lauren turns to the younger girl and wraps her arms around her waist. “Lucy knows. She’s my soulmate, she can tell when I’m especially happy and you do that for me. I’m really glad you’re meeting.”

Camila nods, but she doesn’t look entirely happy. “Okay. And your girlfriend is okay with you two holding hands?”

“We hold hands all the time.” Lucy explains, fiddling with Lauren’s fingers. “Unless Vero is here, then I hold her hand _and_ Lauren’s hand. Why?”

“Well… if I really cared about my girlfriend, I wouldn’t go around and hold someone else’s girlfriend’s hand.” Camila mutters under her breath. Lucy doesn’t catch it, but Lauren does, and her face sinks into a frown, because she doesn’t know why Camila is acting so odd.

“Camz?” Lauren lets go of Lucy’s hand and plays with Camila’s hair, because she knows it’s relaxing; it always calms her down when Camila does it to her. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” Camila brushes Lauren off, and the older girl frowns even more. “I’m perfectly fine.”

“Did I do something wrong?” Lauren asks, waving goodbye to Lucy who goes over to Alexa and Keana. “You’re not acting normal and I can’t tell if you’re upset or not. Please tell me if I did something wrong and I’ll fix it. I promised to be good to you and treat you right and you need to be happy for me to do that.”

Camila just sighs. “Lauren, don’t worry about it.”

“Please tell me.” Lauren continues, not at all comforted by Camila’s words. “I’m not being a good girlfriend if you’re sad and I promised I would be. Please talk to me, Camzi. Did I do something wrong? I promise I won’t do it again, I just don’t want you to leave me when you’ve only been my girlfriend for three weeks and if I did something wrong then you might break up with me.”

“Lolo,” Camila meets her gaze for a moment and Lauren swallows the lump in her throat and kisses her girlfriend on the cheek in an attempt to make her smile. It doesn’t work. “It’s not your fault. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Then what is it?” Lauren asks, carefully touching her hand to Camila’s leg and giving it a small squeeze, mimicking what the younger girl does sometimes to comfort her. “I don’t understand why you’re not smiling.”

“It’s me, Lo. My jealousy is getting in the way again.” Camila tells her. “I’m jealous that you seem way more comfortable around Lucy than you do around me. _I’m_ your girlfriend and yet you’re a lot more relaxed around some girl you claim is your soulmate.”

Lauren shifts uncomfortably and bites down on her lip, looking anywhere but Camila. “You make me nervous because I like you a lot and I don’t think I’ve ever liked anybody this much. And that’s scary because you could leave and break me. If Lucy left I’d be sad but it wouldn’t take too long for me to be okay again, because you can have more than one soulmate and I could find another. If you left I don’t know what would happen, because you’re the only Camz there is.”

Camila mumbles something, but Lauren doesn’t catch it. She goes to ask, but Camila speaks before she can. “Can I hug you, Lauren?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods as Camila cuddles up to her and her heart decides to overcompensate. “I like it when you hug me. You’re warm.”

Camila doesn’t comment on that. “I’m not going to leave, Lo. You don’t have to worry about something that isn’t going to happen. I really, really like you, and I’ll be with you as long as you’ll have me. I’ll try to stop being so jealous of Lucy, because clearly she means a lot to you.”

Lauren hums, because that’s good. She hadn’t understood why Camila was jealous of Lucy in the first place, so if she’s going to stop, maybe she and Lucy can become friends. “Maybe when we go on our double date with Lucy and Vero you can be friends. And then- um, we can go on other double dates and stuff. And other normal dates with just you and me, of course, I like those ones.”

Camila kisses her cheek and Lauren blushes, her stomach flipping. “Alright. We’ll go on the double date with your friends.”

Lauren smiles. “Good. Can you sleep over at my house again soon? I want to cuddle with you. We can watch _Vampire Diaries_ and I’ll tell you facts about scenes and you can listen to me talk, you said you liked that. And we can eat popcorn and cuddle.”

“Emphasis on the cuddles there, huh?” Keana laughs as she sits down in the seat Lucy had vacated. “Is it because ‘Camila is warm’ or-”

“Keeks, don’t,” Lauren blushes and looks down at her feet. “I don’t want her to know the things I said. That’s embarrassing.”

“You know I’m just messing with you, Lo,” Keana replies, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, have you started working on that project we were set? I have no idea what to do for it.”

“Yes, I’m doing another portrait of Camila, but this time I’m going to do it based off of how she makes me feel.” Lauren says, already having a good mental image in her head. “The colours are going to represent emotion and there’s going to be lots of blue on it because blue is my favourite colour and Camila is my favourite person.”

Keana laughs, and Lauren isn’t sure what’s funny, but she turns around and sees that Camila is blushing and her stomach flips, because she loves it when she makes Camila blush. “Sounds like a good idea. Maybe you can show it to Camila afterwards.”

“I always show her the portraits I do of her.” Lauren says. “Maybe this one can be the one you pose for, Camzi. You can come to my house and I can paint you.”

“Sure, Lolo,” Camila kisses her cheek. “I’d like that. I guess I’m useful at art in some way, right? You can be the artist and I’ll be… the person getting drawn.”

“You’re my _muse_.” Lauren corrects her. “Every artist has a muse, like Vero is Lucy’s. You’re my muse.”

“Alright then,” Camila nods. “I’m your muse. What do my duties as a muse include?”

“Um…” Lauren pauses in thought. “I don’t really know. Give me kisses and tell me my art is good? And- um… _inspire_ me by existing.”

“So I have to exist, kiss you and give you compliments?” Camila says, mostly to herself. “Okay. I think I can do that.”

“Good.” Lauren smiles and looks over to Lucy. “Lucy, Camz is my muse like Vero is yours. We both have muses now like we both have girlfriends now. Isn’t that great?”

“Yeah,” Lucy nods and glances at Camila for a moment. Worriedly, Lauren looks at her girlfriend too, in case she’s upset again, but she’s smiling to herself. “I like your girlfriend, Lo. She makes you happy.”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums and rests her head on Camila’s shoulder. “She’s the best girlfriend in the world. Aren’t you, Camz? You’re really good to me and I’m good to you too. We’re good to each other.”

Camila smiles and brushes Lauren’s hair from her face. “Yeah. So… you mentioned that this was a barbecue? Because I’m hungry.”

“Lex and Keana are going to go out and make the food. Maybe Lucy will help, I don’t know.” Lauren shrugs. “Sometimes I help, but I don’t want to today because you’re here and I want to spend time with you.”

Before Camila can reply, Lucy sits back down on the couch, looking down at her phone. “Vero wants to know when we’re going on a double date. When are you free?”

“Camz?” Lauren turns around to Camila again. “When do you want to go on a double date? I think we should do it soon. Maybe in a few weeks, because I like having plans for later. Is that okay? Is a few weeks okay?”

“I actually think that my friends are coming to visit me soon,” Camila slowly replies. “So… later, rather than sooner would be better. After Marielle and Sandra come.”

“Okay,” Lauren relays the information back to Lucy and then turns to Camila again with a question on her mind. “Can I meet your friends? Are they nice?”

“Uh…” Camila bites down on her lip in thought. “I don’t know. If you want to meet them then I guess you could, but they’re a little…” she trails off and shrugs, “it might be better if you don’t tell them you’re my girlfriend.”

Lauren frowns to herself. Why doesn’t Camila want her friends to know they’re dating? Is Camila ashamed of dating her or something? “Is it because I’m not… like you?”

“Oh my god, Lo, _no_ ,” Camila answers instantly, and Lauren takes that as a good sign. “I never came out to Sandra or Marielle and I don’t think they’d be okay with it if I did. They’re kind of… against that kind of thing. If you know what I mean.”

“They’re homophobic?” Lauren asks, not sure if that’s entirely what Camila is getting at. “Well… if they’re like that, then it’s not really much of a loss, is it? I wouldn’t be friends with someone if they were homophobic or sexist or racist or ableist or transphobic. Maybe you’re better off without them.”

“It’s not like that,” Camila replies, “I’ve known them since _birth_ , basically. I couldn’t just ditch them for their views, and it’s not like I haven’t tried to change their minds. Besides, aside from that, they’ve been really good friends.”

Lauren hums to herself, not sure that Camila is right. If one of her friends turned out to be homophobic or something like that, she’d try her best to make them see why they’re wrong. If they didn’t listen, she’d stop being their friend. “I don’t think that’s a good idea though, because what if we end up being together for a really long time and they still think you’re straight? And what if they say something bad and-”

“Lo,” Camila interrupts her, “like I said, I’ve tried to change their minds but it’s… it’s not as easy as it seems. It’s not like they can really help it though, they grew up being told it’s wrong and-”

“That’s not an excuse, though.” Lauren cuts in, her thoughts getting ahead of her. “Don’t you want them to know you have a good girlfriend and you’re happy? Because you being happy is what should matter to them if they’re really your friends.”

“Look, Lauren, just do me a favour and don’t tell them that you’re my girlfriend if you meet them. I’ll tell them eventually, just not yet.” Camila reasons. “Maybe next time they come. Okay?”

Lauren still isn’t sure, but if it’ll make Camila happy, then she’ll agree. “Okay. Yes. I won’t tell them. I will be your pretend close friend.”

“Thank you,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “I appreciate it.”

Before Lauren can reply, Alexa interrupts. “Food’s ready, guys. We’re going to sit outside.”

As Camila walks outside with her, Lauren is still deep in thought about Camila’s friends, already fairly certain that she isn’t going to like them.


	15. Chapter 15

“Hello.”

Camila blinks in surprise when her bedroom door opens and Lauren wanders in, taking a few moments to check if her drawing is still in its position on Camila’s wall.

“Uh… hey, Lo,” Camila reaches over to check her phone, certain she hasn’t slept through Friday and it’s suddenly the weekend. Also, she’s pretty certain that she and Lauren don’t have plans. “What’re you doing here?”

“DJ told me you were sick and that’s why you weren’t in school today.” Lauren tentatively sits down on Camila’s bed and carefully takes hold of her hand. “I thought I would come and see if you’re okay now. Unless you want me to go home, I know it’s unexpected, but I just thought maybe you’d like company because being homesick is boring and lonely and I know that I like company when I’m sick.”

Camila’s stomach flips. “I’d love company, Lolo. Come and cuddle me.”

Lauren curls up next to her and snuggles her face into her neck. “Are you feeling okay? DMac told me you were sick. Why didn’t you tell me you were sick? You could’ve texted me.”

“I didn’t want you to worry. We both know what you’re like when something worries you, you wouldn’t be able to concentrate on your schoolwork if I’d told you.” Camila replies. “And I’m feeling a lot better than I was this morning. I think it was probably just a little fever. I doubt you’ll catch anything.”

“Can I- um…” Lauren sits up and brushes her hair from her face. “Can I take care of you anyway? I promised I would be a good girlfriend and treat you right and I want to take care of you when you’re sick.”

Camila feels her stomach twist and turn in every possible direction. “Okay, baby. If you want to take care of me, go ahead.”

Lauren hums to herself and taps against her leg with her fingers. “I don’t really know what to do. Do you want me to make you some soup? I only know how to make chicken noodle soup though, and I don’t know if you like that. What would make you feel better?”

“Kisses,” Camila sends her girlfriend a teasing smile and finds it hard not to beam when Lauren leans down and dots kisses around her face. She takes her time to kiss Camila’s cheek, her forehead, and her temple before finally landing on her lips. When she pulls away, Camila smiles. “See? I’m already feeling better after that.”

Lauren blushes and wraps her arms around Camila. “I’m glad you’re better because I’m taking care of you. That means I’m a good girlfriend.”

“You’re really focused on being good to me, Lo,” Camila points out, “it’s sweet.”

“Well, I have to be good to you because you’re my girlfriend and I like you so I want you to be happy.” Lauren explains herself, and Camila smiles when the older Latina snuggles up next to her. “Also, I need to prove to you that I can be- um, as good as someone like… someone neurotypical. You understand?”

“Lolo,” Camila kisses the top of her girlfriend’s head. “I already think you’re way better than everyone else. You don’t need to prove anything to me. I’m never going to think you’re less than anyone else just because you’re not considered ‘neurotypical’. Seriously, Ryan Gosling could come knocking on the door and I’d tell him to go screw himself, because you’re the only person I want to be with.”

Lauren’s face turns crimson and she hums to herself. “I think that you’re wonderful, Camzi. But- um, even wonderful people can leave because they think I’m too much to handle. That’s what some people say.”

“Well, they’re stupid people.” Camila reasons, her heart breaking. “I won’t leave unless you want me to. Surely you know that by now? You _do_ have a 5.0 GPA after all.”

“Yes, I’m very smart.” Lauren proudly announces, tapping on her leg. “I am the best in our grade, actually. I won an award for it at the end of sophomore year. My parents were really proud. I love being the smartest person in school, because people sometimes call me stupid but I have proof that I’m not and that _they’re_ the stupid ones.”

Camila laughs and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “Yeah. You’re the smartest person I know, Lo. And the prettiest.”

Lauren blushes even harder than she already was. “I- um, no- thank you, but that’s you. You’re very pretty. You have wonderfully warm eyes and they make me feel at home.”

“If either of us is winning in the eye department, it’s you.” Camila is quick to retort. “Your eyes are the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. I could get lost in them if you didn’t hate eye contact.”

Almost immediately, Lauren looks up and tries to meet Camila’s eyes. “I’m sorry, I’ll let you- um, get lost in my eyes if you want. Look at them, Camzi. I’m letting you.”

Camila shakes her head and keeps her gaze on the TV. “Nope. You hate eye contact and you’re not going to do anything that makes you uncomfortable on my watch, honey. It’s okay. Your eyes are beautiful and I love it when I get to see them, but only _if_ you’re comfortable.”

“Okay,” Lauren redirects her gaze to her feet and moves to rest her head on Camila’s shoulder. “Are you still feeling better, or do you need more kisses? And some soup, I’ll make you some soup too.”

“Alright.” Camila sits up and goes to climb out of bed. “Let’s go to the kitchen, then. I’ll show you where everything is and you can surprise me with kisses while you make your famous chicken noodle soup.”

Lauren doesn’t move off the bed. “Camz? Can I tell you something I’ve been thinking about?”

“You can tell me anything, Lo,” Camila moves to sit next to Lauren again, waiting for Lauren’s nod of approval to hold her hand. “Go on.”

“Um, well,” Lauren rubs her hand along her leg and closes her eyes. “I was thinking about you the other day, and… um, well, I think you’re my favourite person. Next to Nala. And I- I want to let you look through my sketchbook. I think I’m going to leave it here tonight, because I finished this sketchbook off today, and I have a fresh one at home, so you can look through it tonight and then give it back to me the next time you see me.”

Camila smiles at the thought that Lauren trusts her enough to let her look through her sketchbook. “Only if you’re sure you want me to look in it. You said that you don’t like people going through your sketchbook.”

“But I _want_ you to.” Lauren replies, digging through her backpack. “I finished it and I want you to be the only person to look in it, because… because I’m sharing things I love with you. My art is like a part of my soul and I’m letting you see my soul because you’re my girlfriend and that’s what girlfriends do. I want you to see my soul.”

“Damn, Lauren,” Camila bites down on her lip, and she knows her cheeks have turned bright red. “You’re really romantic when you want to be.”

“Yes, I am very romantic and I am being a good girlfriend.” Lauren says, mostly to herself. She produces her sketchbook from her backpack and places it carefully on Camila’s nightstand. “This is my sketchbook. Be careful with it because it’s like part of my soul and only you can see in it. Um- some of the drawings about midway are kind of sad because that’s how I was feeling then, but they get happier.”

Camila frowns. “Why were your drawings sad, Lo?”

“I- um, it started when I tried to ask you to homecoming but then Austin interrupted me.” Lauren admits, tapping on her sketchbook’s cover. “I was upset because I didn’t like him, but you were happy and I wanted my Camz to be happy no matter what, so I was okay with being upset because I was trying to, uh, get over you. The sad part ends after we went on our date, I drew lots of pictures that night and stayed up very late because I needed to get my emotions out.”

Camila frowns even more, because some of what Lauren said didn’t fit with what she could remember. “Why did the sad part end after our date? Didn’t it end after I came to you after homecoming? I wasn’t anywhere near Austin after that.”

“I didn’t think you liked me back and I was still trying to get over you.” Lauren explains as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “And then- um, when I got my wisdom teeth out you called me the ‘f’ word and that upset me more than anything because it meant that you thought less of me for being autistic and I thought that you didn’t.”

“I don’t,” Camila is quick to cut in, that familiar feeling of guilt in her stomach. She hates the thought of upsetting Lauren, and she hates that she’s done it before because she let her temper get the best of her. “I don’t think less of you. I never could.”

“I think that it was- um, a _crime of passion_ ,” Lauren tells her, tapping out a pattern on Camila’s palm. “I remember in history class last year we were doing about crimes, and there was this woman we learnt about called Ruth Ellis. She shot her abusive husband and it was called a _crime of passion_ because she was feeling so much emotion at the time and she wasn’t thinking clearly. She was given the death penalty for it, but I think she should’ve just gotten jail time, because she wasn’t in the right mindset at the time. That’s what I think you calling me the ‘f’ word is like.”

Camila thinks over Lauren’s words, thankful that her girlfriend is so eloquent when it comes to explaining what she means. “So… I should head off to jail, then?”

“No, that’s not what I mean,” Lauren is quick to protest with wide eyes, but Camila laughs and tells her it was just a joke. “Oh. Um, well, I meant that you weren’t thinking clearly and it was a _crime of passion_ because your emotions were messing your head up, and I don’t- I don’t blame you for that, because sometimes our brains can work against us.”

Camila kisses Lauren’s forehead, relieved that her girlfriend forgives her for that horrible slip of the tongue, but still not entirely satisfied. “It still doesn’t excuse what I said, Lolo. I’m glad you understand that I didn’t mean it and that I let the rage get the best of me, but it doesn’t make it okay. Just like that lady killing her husband isn’t okay because she was feeling all sorts of different things.”

“I know it’s not okay for her to kill her husband and that’s why I said she should’ve gone to jail. But that’s what it’s like- she got the death penalty when I think she should’ve just gone to jail.” Lauren says. “My anger at you is the death penalty in this situation, you don’t deserve it because you didn’t mean the words. You just go to jail, which was losing my trust for a little bit, but you’ve got it back now because you’re being a good girlfriend and treating me right. But if you commit another _crime of passion_ , then maybe you’ll get the death penalty. Which would be- uh, losing my trust forever.”

Camila thinks over Lauren’s words and smiles to herself. “You know, it’s when you talk about things like this that I remember what I told you a little while ago. You have a wonderful mind, Lauren.”

Lauren blushes. “Thank you.”

“I just love the way it works.” Camila continues, tracing three circles on Lauren’s palm before tangling their fingers together. “The way you find patterns in everything and the way you relate things back to other things that seem completely unrelated until you explain it and I realise the formula behind it. Your mind is just… perfect.”

“Usually people compliment me on my looks.” Lauren stares down at their hands. “Some people call me hot and attractive but then they realise that I’m not like them and they take it back. Nobody ever compliments my mind and the way I think because it’s not like the way they think and they say it’s ‘abnormal’. That’s why you saying these things to me means so much, because it makes me realise that you genuinely like me for me and you don’t want to make me fit a mould.”

“I think all of you is beautiful, Lo,” Camila pauses to press a gentle kiss to the corner of Lauren’s mouth. “Your mind, the way you look, the way you talk. Everything. Every single last little thing, right down to the little freckles on your nose that only ever come out when it’s sunny.”

Lauren stays silent for a moment, but takes Camila completely off guard and pulls her in for a kiss. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

“You’re absolutely precious, Lo,” Camila pushes Lauren’s hair from her face, “and I am infinitely lucky to have you by my side. Because you know what’s even more awesome than having a Camz?”

Lauren looks at her like she’s about to reveal the secrets of the universe. “What?”

Camila just smiles. “Having a Lolo.”

“I-” Lauren cuts herself off and looks up at her, her emerald eyes shimmering. Instead of replying verbally, she practically throws herself into Camila’s arms and snuggles her face into her neck. “You make my heart happy.”

Camila’s stomach flips and she kisses Lauren’s temple, hugging her girlfriend back equally as tight. “I think my heart is pretty damn happy too, Lo. You’re the best girlfriend I could’ve wished for.”

Lauren mumbles something into her neck, but Camila doesn’t catch it. Before she can ask, Lauren pulls away and looks towards the door. “I’m going to make you soup now. Can you show me where you keep everything in the kitchen?”

“Okay,” Camila takes Lauren’s hand and leads her downstairs, into the kitchen. She busies herself with getting out all of the ingredients Lauren needs, not even noticing when Sofi walks into the room.

“Hi, Lauren,” Sofi immediately gravitates over to the older Latina. “I haven’t seen you in forever. Kaki only ever invites you over when I’m not here, which is weird because she knows I like you.”

Lauren looks over at Camila nervously and shrugs. “I don’t know why. Maybe you should ask her. And- um, I didn’t know you liked me. I thought you think I’m strange.”

Sofi laughs. “No, I think you’re funny and that’s why I like you. And you make Kaki really happy, she told me that you went on a date and she was smiling the whole time. She talks about you a lot actually-”

“Sofi,” Camila is quick to interrupt, “that’s exactly why I invite Lauren over when you’re not here; you tell her stuff like that. She’s not supposed to know I talk about her.”

“But she’s your girlfriend, isn’t she? And it’ll make her happy to know you talk about her.” Sofi reasons. “I’m just being friendly to your girlfriend. If I didn’t like her I’d be mean to her like I was to that other guy you brought home that time. What was his name?”

Camila cringes. “You mean Austin?”

“Yeah, him,” Sofi turns to Lauren again, “Do you know him? He was a jerk, I didn’t like him much. But you’re great.”

“I know Austin. He’s orange.” Lauren says, mostly to herself. “He’s bad, he upset Camz and me. When did you meet him? Did he come here?”

“Yeah,” Sofi tells her, and Camila is ten seconds away from throwing her sister out of the room. “One night after school. They hogged the TV, it was so annoying.”

Lauren looks to Camila with a frown, tapping on her pants leg with her fingers. “I didn’t know you saw him another time. I thought you just spent time with him at homecoming.”

Camila sighs, knowing that Lauren probably isn’t going to like what she’s about to tell her. “It was the Wednesday night before homecoming. My parents were going out for a meal and I had to babysit Sofi, and I figured I might as well invite him over and get to know him a little bit more before we went out. But it didn’t mean a thing, Lo. None of that matters now.”

Lauren still looks concerned, but when she speaks, all of Camila’s worry melts away. “But- should we have done that, then? Are you supposed to have a pre-date? Should I have come over here and spent time with you before we went out on our first date? Did I do it wrong?”

“No, Lolo,” Camila laughs, “we were already friends before we started dating. With Austin, I didn’t really know him very well and I didn’t want the actual date to be awkward since we’d only really spoken over text. That’s all that was.”

“Oh,” Lauren hums to herself. “That’s okay then. I was just worried that I’d done it wrong. I think I liked being your friend before dating you, because I knew things about you. You’re right, it wasn’t awkward on the date because I was already comfortable around you and I could talk to you.”

Sofi frowns. “Why couldn’t you talk to her if you weren’t friends?”

“I- um…” Lauren looks down at her feet and shrugs, mumbling something to herself. Neither Camila nor Sofi seem to hear it.

“Lo? I have all of your ingredients for soup here.” Camila tries to distract her girlfriend. “Why don’t you go ahead and make it while I sit over here at the table with Sofi?”

Lauren looks up and meets Camila’s eyes for a few seconds, nodding. “Okay, yes, I will make you soup and it will help you feel better from your fever.”

Once Lauren busies herself with the soup, Camila leads Sofi over to the table and sits her down. “Listen, Sofi, you shouldn’t ask Lauren things like that.”

“Why?” Sofi frowns to herself. “She says weird stuff sometimes and I don’t get it, so I should ask what she means.”

Camila frowns in thought, unsure of how to explain things to her sister. “Things that might not make sense to you might make sense to her.”

“It’s not my fault I’m younger than you two.” Sofi says, taking it completely the wrong way. “I’d grow up if I could and then it'd make sense.”

Camila laughs. “No, Sofi, that’s not what I mean. Lauren’s mind works a little differently to the way our minds work, and because of that, she finds it really hard to talk to new people and interacting with others can be hard for her. That’s why she doesn’t look at people a lot of the time when she talks to them and why she doesn’t like it if you grab her.”

“Oh,” Sofi looks deep in thought for a moment and Camila is kind of worried about what her sister might say. Especially with Lauren wandering around the kitchen, humming to herself as she makes soup. “That’s really cool. I didn’t know that there were different ways for brains to work. Do other people think like Lauren or is it just her?”

“Some other people do, yeah,” Camila nods, “like… she has this friend called Lucy that thinks the same way as her.”

“Can my brain work like hers?” Sofi asks, looking over to Lauren who is singing Lana Del Rey to herself as she works on the soup. “I think she’s really nice and I want to be like her. Can I?”

“Nope. Sorry, Sofi,” Camila smiles to herself, inwardly hoping that Lauren is sneakily eavesdropping on their conversation. “It’s something you’re born with.”

“Oh,” Sofi gets out of her chair and walks over to Lauren, and for a second Camila is worried that her sister is going to tug on Lauren’s arm; her signature way of getting someone’s attention. Instead, she just smiles. “Lauren? Kaki told me that you think different and I want to know how because I think you’re great. She says I can’t think like you but I think she just doesn’t want me to ask you loads of questions because it’ll get in the way of your alone time.”

“Um,” Lauren looks over to Camila with a frown. “I don’t know what you mean. What did Camz say?”

“She told me you think different.” Sofi repeats herself. “And I want to know how I can be like you because you’re really cool.”

“You think I’m cool?” Lauren rocks herself backwards and forwards on her heels, smiling to herself. “That’s nice. Camz says I’m badass because I have piercings and I’m going to get tattoos.”

Camila walks over to Lauren and holds her hand out, the older girl catching on and holding it. “Looks like your Jauregui charm has won over my little sister too, honey. Obviously it has an increased effect on Cabellos.”

Nervously, Lauren leans in and kisses Camila. “I didn’t know I had charm. Is that good?”

“It’s very good.” Camila smiles. “So, is the soup nearly ready?”

“Um… yes. Nearly.” Lauren nods and looks down at her feet. “Does Sofi want some too? Is she also sick?”

Before Camila can answer, Sofi nods. “Yeah, I’ll try some. Will you watch TV with me? Like I said, I haven’t seen you in forever and you’re my sister’s girlfriend so I have to make sure you’re good for her.”

“That’s why I’m making her soup, to be good to her and look after her while she’s sick.” Lauren says as if it’s obvious. “I’m a good girlfriend, I look after her and she looks after me. Right, Camz?”

“Right.” Camila confirms, kissing Lauren’s cheek. “Is it okay if I hug you, baby?”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums in response and smiles when Camila wraps her arms around her. “I love your hugs. You’re really soft and warm.”

“And _you’re_ really gentle.” Camila smiles. “Do you want to go back up to my room when the soup is finished, or are we going to watch TV with Sofi?”

Lauren takes a few moments to untangle the questions. “TV with Sofi, because she likes me and I like it when your family like me.”

Camila snorts. “You just like the fact that every single Cabello seems to think you’re the epitome of cool and badass.”

“That too, yes,” Lauren nods to herself as she gets three bowls of soup ready. “I am cool and badass no matter what DMac and Manibear say, because _you_ say it and you’re my girlfriend so that must mean it’s true.”

Camila smiles to herself, because out of the three people in the room right now, Lauren would probably win in the _least_ badass criteria. “Yeah. You’re my little badass.”

“Yes, yours,” Lauren hands Camila her soup with a small smile. “I’m your badass Lolo and you’re my wonderful Camz.”

“Come on,” Camila takes Lauren’s hand and walks her towards the living room, sitting down on the couch next to Sofi. “Let’s finish off this soup and then we’ll go upstairs and cuddle.”

Camila mostly keeps her eyes on the TV as she eats her soup, but she’s fairly certain that Lauren is trying her hardest to drain her bowl as quickly as she can. She guesses it’s something to do with the incentive of cuddles, and she’s one hundred percent right. When she’s finished with her soup, Lauren practically drags her upstairs and curls up next to her on the bed.

Camila decides that if this is the treatment she gets when she’s sick, she wouldn’t mind getting a fever more often.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for ableism/ableist slurs.

 

Lauren and Camila are curled up on the couch together, _Vampire Diaries_ playing in the background, when Sofi walks into the room and sends Camila an odd look that Lauren has trouble deciphering.

"Sandra and Marielle are here," Sofi says, not sounding too pleased about the idea. Lauren isn't too happy either, because she's comfortable on the couch and she's watching her favourite show and she doesn't want to have to turn it off. "They're just talking to mom. She was saying they could've stayed here instead of a hotel, but I'm so glad they're not."

Almost immediately, Camila detaches herself from Lauren and moves to the other end of the couch, leaving the older girl confused. "Sofi, don't be rude. They've never done anything to you. Did you tell them I'm in here?"

"Yeah," Sofi heads towards the door. "I'm going to my room until they leave. See you later."

Once Sofi leaves the room, Lauren looks over to Camila with flushed cheeks. "Can we cuddle again? I was really comfy and-"

"Sorry, Lo," Camila sends her a sad smile, "I can't cuddle you like that when they're here. They'll jump to conclusions and... I don't want that to happen."

"Oh," Lauren looks down, disappointed. "Okay. I'll just... stay here then."

She turns back to the TV and tries to concentrate on the show, about to open her mouth and tell Camila another fact about a certain part, when she's startled by loud screams coming from the doorway. Instinctively, Lauren's hand shoot up and she covers her ears, closing her eyes in an attempt to filter out any visual stimuli, because the last thing she wants is to go into sensory overload. She doesn't expect Camila to join in on the squealing as well, and she curls up in a ball on the couch in an attempt to make herself smaller.

She hums to herself and focuses on that, trying her best to tune out. She nearly has a heart attack when there's a hand on her shoulder and she looks up to see Camila and two unfamiliar girls staring directly at her.

Immediately, Lauren directs her gaze to her feet as Camila speaks to her. "Lauren, these are my two best friends from home, Marielle and Sandra Guzman."

Lauren swallows the lump in her throat and nods, not looking up. "Hello. I am Lauren Michelle Jauregui. I am Camila's... um, friend."

One of the girls – Lauren isn't sure which – clears her throat. "Oh, okay then. We were hoping for some catch up time with Mila, so..."

Camila mutters something to her friends and they laugh, and it makes Lauren incredibly paranoid, because usually when people whisper, they're saying bad things about her. She feels even worse when Camila and her two friends sit down on the couch and Camila won't even let their legs touch.

Lauren closes her eyes and tries to hold Camila's hand, because holding her girlfriend's hand always makes her less nervous. She feels like she wants to cry when Camila wrenches her hand away and mutters a sad _not now_.

"So... Laura, was it?" One of the girls she identifies as Marielle says. "How did you meet Camila?"

Lauren frowns, because she's asked two different questions and they're tangling together in her head. "I- um... can you slow down, please?"

Both Marielle and Sandra giggle, but Lauren knows it's not in a good way, and she wants to cry when Camila acts like nothing happened.

Marielle speaks again, her words all spaced out and slow like she's talking to a three year old. "Okay. How. Did. You. Meet. Camila?"

"At school," Lauren gets out, not liking the other girl's tone, because she knows it's bad. "I met her at school and she was my new friend."

Lauren catches the other girl, Sandra, whisper something to her sister and Camila that sounds a lot like, "they let _her_ into a school?" and she doesn't understand why she's saying that, because everyone their age goes to school. It's the law.

"Lauren is one of the girls I was telling you about, actually," Camila says, "we have three other friends, Dinah, Normani and Ally. I'm sure they'd love to meet you guys, too."

Marielle shakes her head. "No, we'd rather spend some alone time with our best friend. Wouldn't we, Sandra?"

"Yeah," Sandra sends Lauren a pointed look, but the older girl keeps her gaze trained to her feet and taps out a pattern against her leg to keep herself distracted. "So, Mila, do you go to the same school as Lauren here?"

"I do..." Camila replies, her tone rigid. "Lauren is in my music and literature classes. In fact, she's the smartest person in our school, aren't you, Lo?"

"Yes, I'm very smart," Lauren replies, announcing proudly, "I have a 5.0 GPA."

Marielle laughs and Lauren hears her whisper to Camila, "So you slip her fake report cards or something?" and she's not sure if she's joking or not, because where would Camila get fake report cards from and why would she need them anyway?

Camila acts like she didn't hear Marielle. "So, what have you guys been up to?"

Lauren tunes out the conversation and stares at the television, because she doesn't really care about what Camila's friends have been doing. She hums to herself, because the presence of the two girls she doesn't know is making her uncomfortable, and she rubs her hand up and down her leg while she thinks about other things, like what she's going to paint next or where she's going to take Camila out to.

"Can you knock it off?" Lauren feels a rough hand grab her arm and she yanks it away, immediately hiding her face in Camila's neck. "It's fucking annoying. We're trying to talk and you won't stop making noises."

Lauren feels her eyes stinging with tears when Camila lightly pushes her away. "I'm not doing anything bad."

"Yes you are," Sandra rolls her eyes, "we're trying to talk to our friend who we haven't seen for months and you're just sat there making weird noises and shuffling around. It's distracting."

Lauren expects Camila to explain for her, to tell them she can't help it or she's just trying to calm herself down, but the younger Latina keeps her mouth shut and acts like nothing is happening. "Camz?"

Camila exchanges a look with Marielle and Sandra and then changes the subject entirely. "Go upstairs and get Nala, Lauren. You can cuddle with her and watch TV. That'll stop you from humming, won't it?"

"I- um, I think so," Lauren taps on her leg, "you want me to go now?"

"Yeah," Camila nods, "bring Nala down here and watch TV with her while I catch up with my friends."

"Okay," Lauren leans forward to kiss Camila goodbye, but the younger girl sends her a pleading look and she remembers that she's not supposed to do that while her friends are there. So, Lauren leaves the room without her kiss and heads up to Camila's room to get Nala.

She takes her time, because she doesn't really want to go downstairs, since she's decided that she doesn't like Camila's friends. They laughed at the wrong times and whispered and that kind of thing always makes Lauren paranoid.

"Hi."

Lauren nearly has a heart attack when Sofi pokes her head around the door. "Oh. Sofi. Hello."

"I don't like them either," Sofi says, sitting down on Camila's bed next to Lauren, "Marielle and Sandra, I mean. They were always jerks, and my sister turned into a jerk when she hung out with them. She stopped taking me to the park and playing with me all the time, and then when we moved here it was like my Kaki came back, and I think that's because of you."

"You do?" Lauren frowns to herself. "Why me? Why not Ally and Mani and DJ? Why only me?"

"Because you're her girlfriend," Sofi laughs. "She always talks about you and says that you did a cute thing during the day or something. You make her really happy and she's always nice now."

"Oh," Lauren smiles. "Good. I like making her happy. Thank you for telling me that."

"It's okay," Sofi replies. "You can hang out in my room while Marielle and Sandra are here, if you want. I could show you all my teddy bears and we can watch cartoons."

"Um... another time," Lauren answers, fiddling with one of Nala's ears. "Camzi told me she wanted me to get Nala and then go back downstairs. I think she wants me to like her friends."

Sofi snorts with laughter. "You won't. They're jerks, like I said. I just don't want them to make Kaki bad again, that's why I didn't want them to come."

"I think I might go home soon." Lauren replies as she heads towards the door. "I will go home and snuggle on the couch with Nala because Camz isn't letting me cuddle her right now."

Sofi frowns. "You should just cuddle her anyway. You're her girlfriend, you're allowed to cuddle her. And it might make Sandra and Marielle leave, and that'd be great."

"I don't want to upset her," Lauren shrugs, "if me not cuddling her and her friends being here makes her happy, then I'm okay with it."

Sofi smiles at her. "That's why I like you, because you always make her happy."

"She makes me happy too," Lauren says as she heads down the stairs, "bye, Sofi."

As Lauren walks back into the living room with Nala clutched to her chest, she hears Sandra and Marielle's laughter, but she ignores it and sinks back down on the couch next to Camila. She fiddles with Nala as she stares at the TV, trying to tune out Camila and her friends' giggling because it's getting mixed in with the TV show and it's all rather confusing.

So, she decides to talk to Camila. "Camz?"

Camila glances at her, "Yes, Lo?"

"Um, I ran into Sofi upstairs," Lauren says, squeezing Nala's leg, "she told me you talk about me to her, like if I sometimes do a cute thing you tell her."

Camila's face twists into a frown, and Lauren isn't sure what she's done wrong. "Sofi was probably just trying to embarrass me, Lauren."

Marielle snorts. "Actually, Mila, I remember you texting me and telling me you thought some girl called Lauren was 'cute'. Of course, that was after all of the texts about how you thought she was a bitch."

Sandra laughs, "Oh, yeah, I remember _those_ texts. I got a few that were basically just rants about how much you didn't like some Lauren girl. Is that this Lauren?"

It takes a few moments for the words to sink in, but Lauren feels the disappointment hit her square in the chest. Camila had told her that she just thought she was a little awkward and shy and she just didn't really care for her, not that she actively disliked her. Not that she'd told people she thought Lauren was a bitch.

"I could read a few out if you like," Marielle laughs and scrolls through her phone, "Oh, here's a good one; ' _she's such a bitch, you'd think if someone new is introduced you'd at least try to talk to them, but I attempt conversation and all I get is one word or she ignores me completely. She's so fucking annoying.'_."

Sandra opens her mouth to speak. "Or-"

Camila cuts her off. "Lauren and I have already talked about the rocky start to our friendship, but that was all based on a misunderstanding. We've moved on. Right, Lo?"

Lauren blinks in confusion. "You think I'm annoying?"

"Of course I don't," Camila is quick to reply, "They're just reading old messages about my first impression to annoy us. It's just their sense of humour. Ignore them."

Lauren nods, but she isn't sure what to think, because she didn't know that Camila had disliked her that much. It honestly hurts to think about it. But Camila likes her now, and they're girlfriends, even though they're pretending not to be right now, so she's going to try to forget it.

She turns back to the TV again and cuddles Nala to her chest, trying to push Sandra and Marielle's words out of her mind, because they didn't matter. Camila doesn't think any of that stuff now, so she's right, she should ignore them. She decides that she really doesn't like Camila's old friends, and is glad that they don't live here all the time.

"Okay, seriously, what the fuck."

Lauren jumps when hands grab onto her shoulders to still her; she'd been rocking and she hadn't realised. She moves out of the person's grip and closes her eyes. "Please don't touch me."

Marielle huffs and sits back down in her seat, rolling her eyes. "Honestly, I don't understand why you're even friends with her, Mila. I wouldn't be able to deal with a retard like her."

It takes a few seconds for the word to hit Lauren, but when it does, she freezes. She shuts down, shaking her head, mumbling words of assurance to herself because nobody else is doing anything to make her feel better. She can't make herself focus at the sound of the 'r' word, the way it seems to hurt her more than anything else someone could call her, the way it breaks her down until she can't function anymore, her breath coming out in short, frantic bursts and her heart pounding against her rib cage.

Everything seems to happen in slow motion. Sandra and Marielle both laugh at her reaction, as she curls herself into a ball on the end of the sofa, sobbing her eyes out. Camila seems to freeze at the word, but then she unfreezes and looks at her friends with the most terrifying glare Lauren has ever seen.

"Get out." Camila's voice is calm, but there's something terrifying underneath it.

Marielle snorts. "Calm down, Mila. It's not a big deal."

"Get the _fuck_ out." Camila raises her voice, and pushes her old friends away. "Don't you _ever_ call her that in front of me. Lauren is the sweetest person I've ever met, and I swear to _god_ , if you don't apologise to her, I can't be held responsible for what I'll do."

Sandra rolls her eyes. "It's not like she was lying. She _is_ a r-"

"Shut the fuck up," Camila interrupts her and pushes her towards the door. "Get the fuck out of my house. Unless you're going to apologise to my beautiful, absolutely amazing _girlfriend_ , I never want to see you again. Don't text me, don't call me, don't contact me in any fucking way unless it's to tell me how sorry you are."

Lauren doesn't hear the rest of the conversation, because Camila and her old friends leave the room, but she knows there's shouting involved. A lot of shouting. But she doesn't even care, because she's too busy trying to make her breathing go back to normal because every time she takes a breath, the air doesn't quite reach her lungs and she feels like she's suffocating.

She curls her arms around Nala and buries her face in her stuffed animal, but it's not helping at all and she's so frightened because she doesn't know where Camila has gone or what those girls are doing and she's not in an environment she can control.

She feels a little better when the TV turns off, because it's one less thing to overwhelm her senses, and when the couch sinks next to her and she smells the familiar perfume, she knows Camila is back.

Lauren looks up with teary eyes and the younger Latina sends her a small smile. "If I talk, will it stress you out?"

Lauren wipes at her eyes and nods, not sure she's able to talk herself. Camila holds her hand out, and Lauren takes the younger girl's entire arm, snuggling it and tracing patterns along Camila's tan skin. She focuses on that and only that, drawing invisible art on the younger Latina until she's not thinking about the word Marielle had called her anymore.

When she's finally calm enough to let go of Camila's arm, Lauren holds Nala to her chest and hums to herself. Camila just sits with her, letting Lauren hold her hand as the older girl hums her favourite Lana Del Rey song.

"I think they're cutting their trip short," Camila says after they've sat together for at least half an hour. "There's not really much point in them being in Miami anymore."

Lauren sniffles and hums in response. She opens her mouth to speak, but she can't physically make the words come out, so she opts to trace more patterns on Camila's arm.

"I'm so sorry that happened, Lolo. Can I-" Camila holds her arms out and Lauren practically collapses into the younger girl's hold. "I can't remember the last time I've ever been that angry. _God_ , I could've smacked her for saying that. Honestly, I wish I fucking did smack her."

"I- um," Lauren swallows the lump in her throat and shifts closer to Camila, "Thank y-you... for, uh, defending m-me. I thought for a moment that maybe you weren't going to."

Camila runs her fingers through Lauren's hair. "You don't have to thank me for that. I'm your girlfriend. Defending you is in the job description."

"Camz," Lauren murmurs. "I hate that word. Why did she- um, go with the 'r' word? It's the worst word in the world."

"She used that word because she's a jerk and she wanted to upset you." Camila explains, her face twisted into a scowl. "They were both trying their best to upset you all night, and I didn't say anything because I didn't want to cause a fight and it wasn't like you realised, and I was trying to tell them how smart and amazing you are by asking you about your grades and they just kept being so subtly mean to you. It was making me so angry but I thought maybe if we stuck it out they'd realise how wonderful you are. But _that_ \- I don't want to be friends with them if they're going to be ableist jerks. You were right, Lo. They're not good people."

"I don't want to think about it." Lauren says, wrapping her arms around Camila's waist. "Can we- um, go back to watching _Vampire Diaries_ and cuddling? I want to cuddle with you because it'll make me feel better."

"Well, we're already cuddling," Camila points out as she reaches forward and turns the TV on. " _Vampire Diaries_ it is."

Lauren hums to herself and rests her head on Camila's shoulder, allowing herself to get wrapped up in the TV show, not even realising that Camila has been talking.

"Lo," Camila nudges her, "you weren't listening to me, were you?"

Lauren shakes her head, worried that Camila is going to be mad. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise," Camila kisses her temple, "I was just telling you that I'm sorry for not letting you hold my hand earlier. I was just worried about what my friends would think and I don't want you to ever be... _scared_ to hold my hand or something because of it. You're allowed to do that whenever you want and I wanted to make sure you knew that."

"I- yes, I know that," Lauren nods and glances up at Camila for a moment. "I know that you like it when I- um, initiate romantic affection. And I try to do that."

Camila kisses her and Lauren's stomach flips. "I absolutely adore you, Lo. Never forget that."

"I won't," Lauren promises, "I think I'm going to nap on you. Is that okay?"

"That's perfectly fine, Lolo," Camila smiles and gives her a soft squeeze. "I'll occupy myself with _Vampire Diaries_ while you nap. I'll wake you up in an hour if you're not already awake by then."

"Okay." Lauren closes her eyes and snuggles her face into Camila's neck, letting the younger girl run her hands through her hair.

It's not long before the gentle embrace of sleep snatches her away.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few people asked about how their physical relationship would develop. Get ready for Awkward Conversations With Camren™.

“ _This_ painting is my absolute favourite,” Lauren tugs Camila over to a painting and stops in front of it. “I just love the way the colours mix, and there’s no horrible orange in it so it doesn’t make my eyes hurt or upset me. Look at all of the different blues…”

Camila smiles to herself as Lauren rambles on about the painting like she has for every single painting they’ve passed. She absolutely adores how happy her girlfriend looks right now, the way her green eyes are so bright and vibrant, the way she explains the different colour pallets and techniques that the artist has used, and how she’s practically bouncing as she speaks.

It’s moments like this when she realises how much she’s fallen for Lauren Jauregui.

“…and it’s just absolutely beautiful, don’t you think?” Lauren finishes off her mini speech by making eye contact with Camila for a few seconds before her gaze moves back onto the painting.

“Yeah,” Camila doesn’t look at the painting at all as she examines her girlfriend’s side profile, “absolutely beautiful.”

“Art is my favourite thing in the whole wide world,” Lauren tells her, leading her towards the art gallery’s café. “Thank you for letting me bring you here and show you all of my favourite exhibitions.”

“I wanted to come,” Camila shrugs and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “Seeing you passionately ramble about art is my favourite thing in the world, so we’re both doing things we love today.”

Lauren turns crimson and leads Camila over to a table for two in the little café. “You stay here. I’ll go and get food for us. What do you want?”

Camila tells her what she wants, but she stops Lauren from leaving. “I have the money for it here. You already paid for my admission, it’s only fair for me to pay for my sandwich and hot chocolate.”

“No, I’m not paying,” Lauren shakes her head, “The people that work here know me, like my- uh, my doctor’s kid works here in the café and because I come here a lot and sometimes volunteer in the gallery they don’t make me pay.”

Camila frowns to herself when she picks up on something Lauren has said. “Your doctor? You have a doctor?”

“Um… yeah,” Lauren looks unsure, as if she doesn’t know what the right answer to Camila’s question is. “It’s kind of like… like a therapy thing. I’ve been seeing her since I was first diagnosed and it’s just a monthly session for an hour where we talk about how I am. It’s not really- um, a necessary thing, I just like to do it.”

“Oh, okay,” Camila hums in acknowledgement, “have you told her about me?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods and sends Camila a shy smile. “I’ve told her everything about you. She thinks that you’re helping because apparently being in a real relationship is- um, a big step and I should be proud of myself.”

“She’s right, Lo,” Camila smiles and squeezes her girlfriend’s hand. “You should be proud of yourself. Like I told you on our first dates, relationships are complicated and you’re doing so well. We’re about two weeks away from three months since our first date, actually.”

“Yes, three months,” Lauren clenches and unclenches the fingers on her left hand. “I’m going to get our food now. I’ll be right back, Camzi.”

Camila watches as Lauren walks away, and opens up her phone, deciding to text someone as she waits for her girlfriend to get back. An idea pops into her head and she smiles to herself, opening up a certain text conversation.

****_Camila (2:27PM): hey mani i have a question_ ** **

****_Camila (2:27PM): it’s coming up to mine and lauren’s three month anniversary (i’m counting it from our first date and not from when she asked me to be her gf) and i want to do something special for her and idk what kind of thing she’d want to do_ ** **

****_Camila (2:28PM): like most ppl go to restaurants but lolo says she doesn’t like them_ ** **

****_Mani (2:29PM): Take her to the art gallery or something_ ** **

****_Camila (2:29PM): i would but we’re literally there rn and i don’t wanna just recycle a date u kno_ ** **

****_Mani (2:30PM): She likes Ally’s parents’ restaurant so you could take her there if you really want to go with the restaurant thing_ ** **

****_Mani (2:30PM): Lo likes the little things and she likes you so much that you could probably take her on a walk through a graveyard and she’d text me telling me how much fun she had_ ** **

****_Camila (2:30PM): the walk thing could work actually_ ** **

****_Camila (2:30PM): not thru a graveyard tho of course but my bby likes nature i could take her on a nature trail_ ** **

****_Camila (2:31PM): thx mani i have an idea now_ ** **

****_Camila (2:31PM): also by any chance is lauren’s fav disney movie the lion king?_ ** **

****_Mani (2:32PM): Lol how did you guess? The Nala she carries everywhere is totally not a giveaway_ ** **

“Camz, I have your cocoa.” Lauren puts a mug down in front of her and then sets a different drink down for herself. “Who are you talking to? Are you talking to those girls again?

“Nope,” Camila replies. Marielle and Sandra are the _last_ people she’d want to talk to. “I’m talking to Normani.”

“Oh, tell her I said hi,” Lauren turns to go and pick up their sandwiches, “I love Manibear.”

****_Camila (2:34PM): lauren said hi and that she ‘loves manibear’_ ** **

****_Camila (2:34PM): she’s so fucking cute omg she literally just SKIPPED over to get our sandwiches_ ** **

****_Camila (2:34PM): she SKIPPED mani i’m dying she’s too cute_ ** **

****_Mani (2:35PM): Tell her I said hey and that I ‘love Laurenza’_ ** **

****_Mani (2:35PM): Also I’m glad to hear you say that because she talks really highly of you all the time and it’s nice to hear it from both sides_ ** **

Camila isn’t sure what Normani’s last text is implying, but she really hopes that their friend doesn’t think she doesn’t have genuine feelings for Lauren. Because _god_ , Camila can’t imagine herself without Lauren anymore, and while that’s slightly terrifying, she doesn’t really care, because she’s falling hard.

“Did you tell Manibear I said hi?” Lauren asks as she puts Camila’s sandwich in front of her. “What did she say back?”

“She says hey and that she loves you,” Camila replies, her stomach flipping when Lauren beams. “I’m just going to reply to this last text from her and then I’ll switch my phone off and you’ll have my full undivided attention. Okay?”

“Okay,” Lauren nods as she bites into her sandwich, more bothered about eating than what Camila is doing on her phone.

****_Camila (2:38PM): lolo is back so i have to go but i honestly am falling for her so fucking hard and if u told me that when i first met her i would have been like pshhhhhh bullshit_ ** **

****_Camila (2:38PM): she’s so amazing and i never want to date anyone else like legit WHY did i say yes to austin i should’ve been like lol no and turned around to lo and asked her myself she’s literally everything to me_ ** **

****_Camila (2:38PM): anyway yeah ignore that cheesy ass rant gtg thx 4 the date help BYE MANI :)_ ** **

“Alright,” Camila says as she switches her phone off, “my phone is off and my attention is all yours. What do you want to do after we’ve eaten?”

Lauren shrugs. “We could go for a walk in the park? Or- um, go back to my house and watch movies and kiss.”

“I think I like the second option best,” Camila smiles to herself, “it involves kissing you, so… I automatically choose that.”

“Okay. We can watch whatever movie you want, because we did what I wanted today for the date.” Lauren rambles, looking down at her feet. “I’m glad you came here with me. I’ve never taken anyone here before. I always used to come by myself and look at the art and this time was wonderful because I got to tell you my opinions on everything and talk about it.”

Camila beams. “Well, I’ve never been here before, so it’s a win-win. And I got to listen to you talk, which is always amazing. We can watch a lame rom-com when we get back to yours and ignore it completely by making out. Sound good?”

Lauren turns crimson. “Yes. We are going to- um… make out.”

Camila smiles at Lauren's reaction, but decides to change the topic because she's fairly certain Lauren can't physically turn any redder. "Are you sure you don't want any money for today, Lo?"

Lauren hums. "I'm sure. The owner of the gallery knows me, she doesn't make me pay because I volunteer here sometimes when I'm free. She says that one day when I'm a famous artist, she'll make sure to put my paintings up in here."

"You'd better save some paintings for me." Camila replies. "I want my own mini Lolo gallery when we're older. We can have a special art room."

Lauren blinks in confusion. "A special art room where?"

It's Camila's turn to blush. "I don't know... just, in a house or something. If we're still a thing when we're older. I like to think about things like that; what my future house will look like and stuff. And I'd like my future house to have you in it."

Lauren is silent for a moment, as though she's thinking Camila's words over. "I get an art room?"

"Yeah," Camila murmurs, fully aware that she looks like the distant relative of a tomato right now. "In our hypothetical house. When you're a famous artist."

Lauren smiles in satisfaction. "Yes. I like this plan. You can have a music room too, I know you like music. Or we could have- um, an arts room with both music and art in it and it'll be like a gallery and a studio. I want to draw this."

"Yeah, you should," Camila nods, liking the idea of their hypothetical arts room. "I want to see what you'd envision it to be like."

Lauren's fingers twitch and she distracts herself by drinking her herbal tea. "I really want to draw now, but I didn't bring my new sketchbook. I will do it later, when I'm at home, and then I'll show you the drawing. Or I'll send you a picture of it."

"Well then," Camila finishes off her sandwich and splits her cookie in half, offering the larger piece to Lauren, "I'll finish this and my drink and then we'll head back to your place."

"Okay, yes," Lauren drains her cup and gets started on her half of the cookie. "I still want to, um, make out with you when we get home, though."

Camila laughs. "Good. That's good. Same."

"I have finished eating." Lauren announces as she finishes off the cookie. "Have you finished your drink yet?"

"No, give me a few minutes," Camila says, deciding to change the subject and get Lauren's mind onto something else. "I've looked through your old sketchbook by the way. Everything in there is so beautiful. I love the way you convey your emotions through your art, Lolo. You're so talented."

Lauren flushes bright red. "Thank you, babe."

Camila nearly chokes on her cocoa at the pet name, because Lauren's never called her anything other than _Camz_  or _Camzi_ before, and _babe_  is a totally new development. "Uh, yeah, you're welcome."

Lauren hums to herself for a few moments, and Camila recognises the tune as _fallingforyou_  by _The 1975._ It makes her stomach flip, because that was the song playing in Lauren's car when they'd kissed for the first time.

Camila is sipping on her drink and trying not to smile as she relives that memory when Lauren speaks up again. "Are you done now?"

Downing the rest of her drink, Camila nods. "Now I am. Let's go."

Lauren swings their hands backwards and forwards as they walk out of the gallery, occasionally saying hello to the workers, one of which she recognises as Keana - who Lauren wraps in a bear hug - and then they're finally in Lauren's car.

The car ride back to her girlfriend's house is the last thing from silent - Camila hijacks the aux cord and puts on her favourite Taylor Swift playlist, encouraging a karaoke-like party on the drive home. It takes her a little while to get Lauren to sing, and the older girl mostly insists on slower songs, but it's still fun.

Once they get back to Lauren’s house, Camila follows her girlfriend upstairs and gets herself comfortable while Lauren puts _The Notebook_ on. Once the older Latina settles down next to her, Camila moves onto her side and kisses Lauren. When she deepens the kiss, the older girl isn’t as surprised as she used to be, and instead lets her hands rest on Camila’s shoulders, kissing her back tentatively.

Camila has no clue what’s going on in the movie, because she’s far too wrapped up in what Lauren’s tongue is doing and how her stomach is doing somersaults. Her hands that were previously locked around the back of Lauren’s neck wander downwards, slipping under the hem of Lauren’s shirt and resting on her girlfriend’s waist. When Lauren doesn’t seem to recoil, Camila takes that as a good sign and moves her hands up. As her left hand settles on Lauren’s breast, the older girl pulls away and shuffles backwards, shaking her head.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Camila is quick to ask. “Are you okay?”

“I- um, you- you touched me,” Lauren brings her knees up to her chest and wipes at her eyes, “Why did you touch me there?”

“I didn’t mean to frighten you, honey,” Camila shuffles a little closer to Lauren and takes her hand, tracing three circles on her palm. “People do that a lot of the time while kissing and I just thought I would try and see if you- um, liked it, I guess?”

Lauren sniffles and blinks down at her feet. “Do you- um, want to have sex with me?”

Camila blinks in shock; that was the last thing she’d been expecting. “Well, uh… yeah. Eventually. When we’re both ready.”

Lauren’s eyes widen. “I don’t- um, I don’t want to do that right now. Why are you trying to make me do it right now?”

“I’m not trying to make you do it right now,” Camila kisses Lauren’s temple. “Lo, I’d never make you do anything you’re not one hundred percent ready for, and it’s clear you’re really not ready for that. I was just trying to move the kissing to the next level. I wouldn’t have gone past touching you.”

“I don’t want to have sex with you.” Lauren curls up against Camila and cries into her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to do that. Please don’t- um, be mad at me.”

“I’d never be mad,” Camila runs her fingers through Lauren’s hair. “You don’t ever have to do that if you don’t want to. Both of us have to want it. Oh my _god_ , Lo, please don’t cry. Is there a reason you’re so scared?”

“Because I read online that relationships need sex but I don’t _want_ to do that because it’s scary and I don’t think I’m ready but I don’t want you to leave me because I don’t know what I’d do if you left,” Lauren sobs, “and I really want to be with you and be the perfect girlfriend but I _can’t_ do that yet and I’m scared that you’ll get impatient and leave.”

“Lolo, I just told you that we don’t ever have to do that if you don’t want to.” Camila hushes her. “I’m not dating you because I want to have sex with you at some point. I’m dating you because I like you. We don’t even have to move past kissing if you’re not ready. We can go as slowly as you need to go.”

Lauren coughs and wipes at her eyes, giving Camila a rather wet kiss. “I think- I think I’ll let you touch me. But only that. I don’t want to have sex with you. Not yet.”

“Okay,” Camila pulls Lauren in for a hug and buries her face in the older girl’s shoulder. “Thank you for being honest with me, Lolo. You never have to be afraid to tell me these things. I won’t be offended.”

“Thank you for being so perfect,” Lauren mumbles, her grip on Camila tightening. “I will try and be perfect for you some day.”

“You’re already perfect for me.” Camila pulls away and wipes Lauren’s tears from her cheeks with her thumb. “Just- try not to believe everything you read online about relationships. If you want to know something, you can always ask me. I won't laugh at you.”

“Okay,” Lauren sniffles, “I will ask you when I’m confused. Do you want to- um, kiss more? You can touch me if you want. Where you did before, I mean.”

“Only if you’re comfortable,” Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek. “And only if you’re sure. I don’t ever want to think that you let me do things because you’d feel guilty if you didn’t.”

“I’m sure,” Lauren replies, tapping on her leg, “I was just- um, worried because I thought you were trying to have sex with me. But you said you weren’t, so it’s okay. We’re not going to do anything more than touching. I trust you.”

Camila nods, but she rests her hands on Lauren’s shoulders instead. “Are the things you read online the only reason you’re so scared, or is there something else? Be honest with me, Lo.”

“I-” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, “there’s something else.”

“Okay,” Camila nods, “what is it, baby?”

“I- um… it’s not that I don’t trust you because I do, but, uh, some people can manipulate me easily and make me do things and I’m scared that-” Lauren cuts herself off and chokes back another wave of sobs. “I’m scared that maybe you’ll say something and it’ll make me feel like I have to do it when I’m not ready and I _don’t_ want to have sex with you because it’s scary and I don’t know how… how I would react. I’m really frightened, Camzi, I don’t know what to do when it comes to a lot of this relationship stuff and I’m sorry I’m not good at it-”

“Lolo, no, you’re perfect at it,” Camila quickly interrupts, kissing her girlfriend’s forehead. “You’re already doing so much better at winning me over than Austin ever could, and he’s been in tons of relationships. I promised you we’d work through stuff together at a pace we’re both comfortable with. Even if it takes months or _years_ for us to be intimate with each other, I’m willing to wait, because you feeling comfortable and good about this is what I want. That’s what I’m here for.”

“We could…” Lauren looks down at her feet, “we could be together for years? You’d really stay with me that long?”

“Honestly, I’d be more surprised that _you’d_ stay with _me_ , not the other way around,” Camila laughs, “in case you haven’t noticed, I’m kind of crazy.”

“You’re not- I’d never leave you!” Lauren looks at her like she’s just made the dumbest suggestion on Earth. “You’re wonderful. You’re so patient and gentle and you understand and I would never leave you.”

“I’d never leave you either,” Camila replies, “but that’s besides the point. I want you to understand that your comfort comes first and I’d never push you into anything. If you don’t want to have sex with me, that’s fine.”

“I don’t,” Lauren says, looking up to meet Camila’s gaze for a moment. “I don’t want to have sex with you yet. That’s okay?”

“That’s okay,” Camila confirms, brushing Lauren’s hair back. “We can work up to that when you’re comfortable and ready.”

Lauren taps on her leg. “What if I’m never ready?”

“Then you’re never ready,” Camila shrugs, “and that’s fine too.”

Lauren wipes at her eyes and pulls Camila in for a hug. “Yes. That’s fine too. How many relationships have you been in before, Camzi? You know a lot about this stuff.”

“Actually, this is my first one,” Camila admits into Lauren’s shoulder. “Same as you. You were my first kiss, remember?”

“Oh, yes,” Lauren smiles to herself, and Camila is pretty sure she catches a hint of proudness in her girlfriend’s eyes. “Was it a good first kiss? Did I do well?”

“You did extremely well,” Camila assures her, “You were the best first kiss I could’ve asked for. And you’re the best first girlfriend, too.”

“I’m the best first,” Lauren murmurs, mostly to herself. “Thank you for- um, giving me a chance and going on a date with me, Camz.”

“Thank you for _asking_ me on a date,” Camila shoots back, kissing Lauren’s cheek. “I’m incredibly glad that you were brave and told me how you felt, because now I have the most amazing girlfriend in the world.”

Lauren turns bright red. “My stomach did that thing again. What it does when you say nice things to me.”

Camila laughs. “I know what you mean. That happens to me all the time because of you.”

Lauren shuffles forwards and puts her hands on Camila’s waist. “Can I kiss you again?”

“Of course you can,” Camila replies, smiling against Lauren’s lips when her girlfriend leans in. Her heart performs some sort of somersault when Lauren is the one to deepen the kiss, because that’s never happened before and she’s so proud every time Lauren tries something new.

Camila takes it slowly, first resting her hand on Lauren’s waist, under her shirt. She moves her hand upwards after a few minutes, going slow so Lauren knows what she’s doing, and when she finally rests her hand on Lauren’s breast, the older girl doesn’t pull away. Instead, she keeps kissing Camila, pulling away from her mouth to attach her lips to the younger girl’s jawline.

“I read online,” Lauren says between kisses, “that neck kisses are good. Is that right?”

“That’s- uh,” Camila takes a few moments to gather her thoughts, “that’s right. You’re really, um, good at that.”

Lauren lets out a hum in satisfaction and keeps kissing her neck, her hands tracing down Camila’s spine, and the younger Latina has no idea how Lauren is so good at this, but she doesn’t question it because she’s far too focused on her girlfriend.

Somehow, Camila ends up in Lauren’s lap, and that’s when the older girl pulls away. “You’re sitting on me.”

“I guess I am,” Camila lets out an awkward laugh, her hands dropping to rest on Lauren’s waist. “Is that okay?”

“I- uh, I guess so.” Lauren glances up to meet her gaze for a few moments. “I just- um, didn’t read anything online about it.”

Camila can’t hold back her laugh. “Lo, you’re so cute.”

“Thanks?” Lauren frowns to herself. “What did I do?”

“It’s just really sweet that you consulted google about things to do when making out.” Camila admits, trying to get the mental image of Lauren’s search history out of her head. “You could’ve just asked me. Or one of our friends.”

“I didn’t want you to laugh at me.” Lauren shrugs and plays with Camila’s fingers. “I thought you’d think it was weird that I didn’t know what to do.”

“I’d never think you’re weird,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand and moves so she’s sat next to her girlfriend. “Honestly, Lo, your search history must be hilarious.”

“I just wanted to be sure, okay?” Lauren lets out a loud sigh. “Stop making fun of me.”

“I’m not making fun of you,” Camila assures her. “I just think it’s cute how… uncertain you seemed. It’s sweet you went and did a little research.”

Lauren shifts so she’s laying on her side and kisses the tip of Camila’s nose. “I like it when you call me cute. I think you’re cute too because- um, you’re really goofy sometimes and it makes me smile.”

If anyone else called her ‘goofy’, Camila thinks she’d probably be slightly offended. But Lauren? Nope. “Well, I think you’re an absolute angel, Lauren Michelle.”

Lauren laughs. “I only ever get called Lauren Michelle when I’m in trouble.”

“You? In trouble?” Camila snorts. “Yeah, likely. You don’t do anything bad like, ever.”

“I can be rebellious!” Lauren insists, looking down at her feet. “Sometimes my mom tells me to do something straight away and I don’t do it until I’ve finished my sketch or something.”

Camila laughs. “Oh, yeah, that’s _so_ hardcore.”

“Told you,” Lauren doesn’t pick up on Camila’s sarcasm and smiles proudly. “I can be rebellious and my mom calls me Lauren Michelle and then I know I’m in trouble. My mom never shouts though. Not at me anyway, she shouts at Chris and Taylor sometimes.”

Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “Well, I have yet to see the rebellious side of _Lauren Michelle_ , so I’ll believe that when I see it.”

“I- um…” Lauren sits up and takes her socks off, throwing them on the floor. “See? I’m supposed to put them in my hamper but I just threw them on the floor.”

Camila tries but completely fails at hiding her laughter. “Wow, Lolo. I’m surprised the police haven’t shown up to arrest you yet.”

Lauren frowns for a moment, and quickly gets up to put her socks in her hamper, probably because she doesn’t like any form of mess in her room. “I’m not _that_ bad. I just get grounded sometimes if I forget to do my chores.”

Camila kisses Lauren’s forehead. “You’re so cute, Lo. Come here and cuddle me.”

“Okay,” Lauren complies and wraps her arms around her girlfriend’s waist. “I never asked you if you liked meeting my art class friends. Did you like them?”

“I did,” Camila smiles, “they were all really nice. Besides, meeting Lucy made my jealousy go away. I know it’s all platonic between you two now.”

Lauren beams. “Good, because I want you two to be friends especially, because you both mean lots to me. Our double date will be lots of fun, and you’ll get to meet Vero.”

“Sure. What are we doing for that?” Camila asks.

“I think we’re going bowling.” Lauren replies. “That’s what Lucy told me last time I texted her. I’m not sure if I like bowling, it can be loud sometimes, but then if Lucy’s going it might not be too bad because Vero wouldn’t take her anywhere that would upset her.”

Camila hums in thought. “Lucy’s autistic like you, isn’t she?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head, “she has Asperger’s, that’s different. It’s, uh, I guess the easiest way to put it is that it’s considered to be a milder form of autism. I think the main difference is that aspies don’t have as many problems when it comes to language development, but I don’t know as much about Asperger’s because I don’t have that, I have autism. Like… I didn’t start speaking until quite late. My parents thought I was going to be non-verbal for a little while and when I did start speaking I wasn’t as good as everyone else. Lucy wasn’t like that.”

Camila blinks in confusion. “You talk perfectly fine, though.”

Lauren rubs her hand along her leg. “I don’t, sometimes. I stutter and when I get upset I can’t make myself talk even though I want to. It’s kind of like something disconnects in my head for a little while.”

“Oh,” Camila nods, thinking back to times when Lauren was upset and wouldn’t respond to questions with anything other than a nod or shake of her head. “I didn’t realise that was because you _couldn’t_ speak. I thought it was just that you didn’t want to.”

“I don’t like it when I go non-verbal.” Lauren says, fiddling with Camila’s fingers. “People crowd me and ask me what’s wrong but I can’t tell them and it sucks. You did it once. That time- uh, that time you called me the ‘f’ word. But then when your friend… when she called me the ‘r’ word, you realised that asking me loads of things and talking would make it worse and you just sat with me and let me make art on your arm. You used to mess up at lot with things like that, like you’d touch me without telling me and it would scare me, but you don’t do it anymore really. You always ask or signal that you’re going to do it and wait until I say yes. You're getting better.”

As if on cue, Camila holds her hand out and waits for Lauren to take it. “I guess sometimes it used slip my mind because I’ve always been a really touchy person. I like giving surprise koala hugs and stuff, so it was a little hard to unlearn those things when it comes to you.”

“I remember this one time I had to partner with this girl in my science class for an experiment and because we were lab partners she tried to be my friend at first.” Lauren says, leaving Camila a little surprised with the random anecdote. “Except when I told her not to do things she kept doing them and told me to get over it. She told me she was trying to help me be ‘normal’ but I don’t want to change. Not really. Sometimes I wish people would understand better and sometimes I want to be like them when things are hard, but I like being me a lot of the time.”

Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “Good. I’m glad you feel that way, because I like you being you, too. You’re my Lolo.”

“Yes,” Lauren smiles and her magnificent emerald eyes meet Camila’s for a moment, “and you’re my Camz.”


	18. Chapter 18

“Okay, so this is kind of dumb, but in my defence it seemed like a good idea when I thought of it.” Camila says, leading Lauren out to her back yard. “Okay. Open your eyes.”

When Lauren opens her eyes and looks at the sight in front of her, Camila takes in her expression to gauge her opinion. “It’s a tent.”

“Yeah. Ta da.” Camila nods and spreads her arms out as if she’s presenting a million gold bars to her girlfriend. Really, it’s just a badly pitched two man tent in the centre of her back yard. “I thought since it’s been three months since our first date tomorrow, we could do something special. I was considering camping on the beach, but I decided that it’d make more sense to camp here, because we have a functional toilet and a kitchen three feet away. And my bedroom, if we’re too uncomfortable.”

“We’re going to camp in your back yard?” Lauren asks, and it’s not until she says it out loud that Camila realises that _yeah_ , it was kind of a dumb idea. “Okay, I guess. I’ve never camped before, so this could be fun.”

“Are you sure? It was kind of a dumb idea now that I think about it.” Camila looks over to the depressed looking tent. “I think I just wanted to be really cheesy and romantic but it’s not working at all, is it?”

“Yes, it’s working,” Lauren walks over to the tent and climbs in it, sitting down on the left side on the sleeping bag that was supposed to be Camila’s. But whatever, it’s not like Camila isn’t going to conveniently try to get into the same sleeping bag as her anyway. “I think it will be fun to sleep in here. But can we go inside and watch TV? I don’t really know what else we can do in a tent aside from sleep.”

Camila can think of a few things, but she’s definitely not going to voice those to Lauren. No way. Even if she said it jokingly, it might frighten her girlfriend and that’s the last thing she wants to do. “Actually, I have an extension lead here so we can use my laptop and watch movies in the tent. And I’ve already ordered pizza and put a delivery time for half six, and we can eat that in here. Apologies in advance if the tent collapses on us in the middle of the night, because it was a lot harder to put up than it seemed and I don’t think I did it right.”

“You really planned everything, didn’t you?” Lauren opens up Camila’s laptop, which is in the corner of the tent, and types in the younger girl’s password. Camila doesn’t ask how she knows that. “Can we watch _Harry Potter_? I was rereading the books the other day and I took the sorting quiz online to see what house I’m in. I got Ravenclaw.”

“Of course we can watch it,” Camila gets into the tent and places herself in between the two sleeping bags, because she’s definitely sharing one with Lauren later. To be honest, she doesn’t even know why she got two out. “We’ll start from _Philosopher’s Stone_ and watch chronologically. I’ve actually never taken the sorting quiz before.”

“You should take it now! I think you’ll be a Gryffindor.” Lauren says, typing something into the search bar. “Do you have my old sketchbook, by the way? You haven’t given it back to me yet and I was wondering why.”

“It’s upstairs in my room. I hid it because I didn’t want Sofi grabbing it and ripping anything.” Camila admits, not adding the part where she pulls it out from under her bed virtually every night to look through Lauren’s sketches before she sleeps. “I look through it a lot, though. There’s this one drawing – I think you must’ve done it at lunchtime or something – that’s of me, Ally, Dinah and Mani, and we’re just talking like we usually do but you added loads of little things and I really love that one in particular because it’s kind of like I’m seeing things through your perspective. Then again, you did tell me your sketchbook is like a part of your soul, so I guess it’s kind of obviously in your perspective.”

“I think- um, I think I want you to keep it.” Lauren murmurs, looking down at her feet. “I want you to keep my old sketchbook and look after it because it’s a part of my soul and I trust you with it.”

“Your sketchbook is like a Horcrux in that case,” Camila jokes, her smile widening when Lauren giggles. “You’re the only person that laughs at my jokes, Lo. Let’s be honest, that was terrible.”

“It was funny,” Lauren pats her on the leg reassuringly. “You’re funny. I will let you keep my old sketchbook though. If you want it.”

“Yeah, I’d love to keep it. I promise I’ll take good care of it.” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand in assurance. “I really don’t want to mess this up, Lo. I’m really falling for you and I never want to lose your trust, baby girl.”

Lauren snuggles up to Camila and kisses the tip of her nose. “I want to tell you something but I don’t know if I can. I’m not sure if it’s right just yet. You understand?”

Camila tries to decipher Lauren’s words. “You know you can always tell me anything, but if you don’t feel like it’s the right time for you to say something, then don’t say it. Wait until you’re sure.”

Lauren mumbles something to herself, and then throws a protective arm over Camila’s waist. “Okay. I will wait. You should take the sorting quiz now, I got it up for you.”

Camila takes the quiz, aware of Lauren watching her every answer, and smiles to herself when she inevitably gets Gryffindor. Of _course_ Lauren would predict that. “You were right. I’m a Gryffindor.”

“Yes. I knew you would be because you’re brave. You called me your girlfriend in front of your old friends even though you were scared about coming out to them, and you defended me.” Lauren plays with Camila’s fingers. “You’re brave. Like a lion. Like Nala!”

As if on cue, Lauren pulls Nala out of her backpack and cuddles her to her chest, and Camila thinks back to when Lauren had been high on pain meds after getting her wisdom teeth out and she’d told her that she was ‘cuddly’ like Nala.

“You’ve compared me to Nala before, actually,” Camila tells her, fully aware that Lauren doesn’t remember. “When you were all loopy from your pain meds after you got your wisdom teeth out. I had to assure you that Nala and I are two entirely separate beings.”

“I don’t remember that.” Lauren frowns in thought, as if she’s trying to anyway. “I don’t remember you coming to my house that day. I just remember waking up and you were there.”

“You said a lot of dorky stuff,” Camila smiles at the memory. “Like, uh, you insisted that we should have a naptime class at school because you could just cuddle me and Nala. And you asked me if I had a twin, because apparently you were seeing double.”

Lauren hums to herself. “I think a naptime class would be a good idea though. Drugged Lolo was right.”

“That was the one thing I agreed with you on, actually.” Camila laughs. “Everything else I responded to with ‘no, Lo, that’s a drug induced hallucination’.”

Lauren blushes, and she snaps her fingers three times before responding. “I didn’t say anything embarrassing, did I? I don’t remember this.”

“You told me that you wanted to kiss me, but you were saying it like you were speaking to someone like Normani.” Camila replies, not thinking that’s embarrassing at all, because all it did was confirm that Lauren had feelings for her and that’s led to a few of the best firsts in her life. “You literally said ‘I want to kiss Camila, don’t tell her though’, as if I wasn’t me.”

Lauren pulls the collar of her oversized sweater up to cover her bright red cheeks, and Camila laughs when it doesn’t even ride up a little. Honestly, if the tent collapsed later that night, they’d probably both be able to camp under Lauren’s sweater.

“Does that mean you knew I liked you after that?” Lauren asks, drumming on her thigh with Camila’s earphones. “Did I accidentally tell you I had a crush on you?”

“I already kind of knew.” Camila admits. “The girls and I were talking at school that day and they accused me of liking you, and I denied it because at that point I thought I didn’t. Then we got onto the topic of you possibly liking me, and Dinah told me she’d been theorising that you had a crush on me. Obviously she was right. When I thought back through certain moments in our friendship, I realised that she was completely right and that my feelings towards you weren’t one hundred percent platonic.”

Lauren blushes and snuggles up to Camila. “You thought I was pretty.”

“I still think you’re pretty.” Camila corrects her, ruffling her girlfriend’s hair and smiling when Lauren blushes even harder. If that’s even possible; the older Latina already looks like a distant relative of a tomato. “I think you’re gorgeous. I think you’d be even more gorgeous if you wore that outfit you wore to the beach a while ago. I seriously couldn’t concentrate when I had such a good view of your abs.”

Lauren pulls up the hem of her sweater so it’s resting on her rib cage. “There, you can see my abs now. I don’t have a six pack though, I don’t know why you like them that much.”

“You don’t need to have a six pack for me to like your abs.” Camila says, looking over Lauren’s toned stomach. “I can admire my girlfriend’s beautiful body if I want.”

Lauren starts drumming on her stomach. “You think my body is beautiful? That’s nice. I like yours too, you’re tiny. My sweater was extra big on you that time you wore it to school.”

Camila thinks back to the day she’d gone to school wearing Lauren’s _The 1975_ sweater. She’d been more than a little surprised when she’d checked the label and realised that Lauren had bought a large one, which was two sizes too big for her and three sizes big for Camila, who is an extra small when it comes to unisex jumpers.

“Why do you like it when your sweaters are oversized, Lo?” Camila asks carefully. “Don’t you want them to fit?”

“I like it when they’re big.” Lauren murmurs, fiddling with the hem of her sweater. “They’re comfy and they don’t feel bad on my skin. Some clothes hurt to wear because of the material and they can rub against me if they’re not big. I love it when my clothes is big on me.”

Camila takes in Lauren’s explanation. Usually she’d ask Lauren why some clothes hurt or something along those lines, but all she can focus on is something else. “Did you just say ‘clothes is big on me’?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods her head and searches up the first _Harry Potter_ movie on Camila’s Netflix. “I love it when my clothes is big on me.”

“Clothes _is_?” Camila pauses for a moment and tries to hold in her laughter, because Lauren Jauregui, the girl who constantly boasts her 5.0 GPA, just said _clothes is_. “Lolo, it’s clothes _are_. You like it when your clothes _are_ big on you.”

Lauren frowns and shakes her head. “No. Is. Clothes is a singular thing.”

“No it’s not, Lo. It’s a plural.” Camila giggles and takes her laptop from Lauren, typing it into google. “Look, see, in the definition here it says _plural_. So it’s clothes are. You’d refer to your clothes as ‘they’, right? And you don’t say ‘they is’.”

Lauren looks at the laptop screen, biting down on her bottom lip and reading what Camila just told her, probably to double check. “It says ‘ _clothes is_ ’ is impossible.”

“Because it’s clothes _are_. I think the word you were looking for is _clothing_. That'd be 'is' _._ ” Camila laughs again and squeezes Lauren’s hand. “I’m so proud of myself. Me, a lowly peasant, has just dethroned the Grammar Queen.”

Lauren blinks at her. “Actually, it’d be _I_ , a lowly peasant. You’re the subject of the sentence, not the object, so you use the subject pronoun, _I_.”

“And she’s taken her crown back.” Camila finishes. “It was nice to be the Grammar Queen for a good two seconds, but I guess it’s just your title for life, huh?”

Lauren pats her on the head with a small smile. “It’s okay to be wrong sometimes, Camzi.”

“Yeah, _clothes is_ ,” Camila teases and kisses Lauren on the tip of her nose. “Miss ‘I have a 5.0 GPA’ said _clothes is_. I’ll never get over that.”

“I- uh,” Lauren fiddles with Camila’s fingers. “I’m still smarter than you, though.”

If someone else had said that to her, Camila would’ve blown up at them. But Lauren? Well, she wasn’t exactly wrong, and Camila knows that she’s a little overly blunt sometimes and can’t help that.

“You’re not wrong.” Camila replies, “But still, it’s nice to know that even my little genius can make a mistake sometimes.”

“I’m not a genius.” Lauren taps against her leg. “I’m just smarter than most people. Book smart though, not people smart like Ally, Mani and Dinah. They know how to make friends, I don’t. I don’t really know how to talk to people properly, even if I’m friends with them. Even with you, sometimes you say things and I don’t know what to respond with, because people don’t have rules. I can’t learn how to talk to people through a textbook.”

Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek. “I think you’re pretty good at talking to people, all things considered. You just need a little nudge sometimes. Kind of like when I told you I wanted you to talk to me more when we first met. You did, and here we are. Girlfriends.”

“Yes, I did well.” Lauren murmurs to herself, wrapping her arms around Camila’s waist. “We are girlfriends now and I am happy.”

“Don’t you mean ‘we is’?” Camila teases her, laughing when Lauren sends her the most adorable glare she’s ever seen in her life. “I’m kidding, oh my god. You look like you're trying to flay me telepathically or something.”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Dinah,” Lauren says, pulling the laptop closer to her. “You’re acting like her. What’s the saying? Something like she’s ‘rubbing off’ on you.”

Camila brushes off Lauren’s words with an eye roll and takes the laptop from her girlfriend. “I’ve changed my mind, I don’t want to watch _Harry Potter_. We’re going to watch a classic – _The Lion King._ ”

Lauren’s eyes light up and she nods enthusiastically, practically bouncing the tent up and down. “Yes, _The Lion King_ is my absolute favourite movie ever, I always get so happy when I watch it because I watched it all the time when I was little and it reminds me of when my mom would look sit with me and watch movies on a Saturday afternoon when I was three. That was when I started talking, when I was three. My first words were hakuna matata I think, because I watched _The Lion King_ so much.”

Camila smiles at Lauren’s little speech and she’s about to answer, but her eyes widen when she remembers something. “I have to go and get something from my room. I’ll be two seconds, baby.”

“Okay,” Lauren grabs her before she can leave and pulls her in for a kiss. “You won’t really be two seconds, I know that. You’ll be a few minutes.”

“Yeah. I’ll be a few minutes.” Camila confirms, kissing Lauren’s temple and crawling out of the tent, running upstairs to her bedroom.

She throws open her closet doors and pulls out the bag that’s been in there for a few days, double checking that everything is in there, before turning to exit the room. She pauses for a moment, spotting Lauren’s sketchbook open on her bed – she’d been looking through it when her girlfriend arrived and rushed downstairs without thinking – and she tucks it safely under her pillow.

Then, she skips downstairs, only stopping when Sinu tells her their pizzas are in the kitchen. As she heads out of the back door, she picks up the pizzas and awkwardly makes her way back into the tent.

“You had the pizza in your room?” Lauren frowns when Camila passes her a box. “That’s kind of weird. Is mine definitely pepperoni?”

“Both of them are,” Camila answers as Lauren opens her pizza box up and starts rearranging the pepperoni in some sort of pattern. “But no, the pizza wasn’t the thing I needed to get. I bought you a present.”

Lauren freezes mid-pepperoni picking. “You bought me a present? Why? Was I supposed to get you one too?”

“No, baby, it’s just me wanting to do something nice for you. You didn’t have to get me anything back.” Camila assures her, holding out the bag. “It was kind of a spontaneous buy, but I wanted to make you smile. The receipt is in there if you don’t like it. Or… them, I guess I should say. There’s two things.”

Lauren puts her pizza aside for a moment and opens up the bag, pulling out both of _The 1975’_ s albums onvinyl. She blinks in shock and turns them over, as if she doesn’t believe they’re real. “I- you- you bought me records?”

“Yeah, I saw that you had a record player in your room but you only had a few albums on vinyl from what I saw. I know that _The 1975_ are your favourite band, and I saw these in Target a few days ago and thought of you. I was only going to get you the new one, but then I saw that there was an offer where you could get one half price if you bought two, so… yeah.” Camila shrugs and looks anywhere but Lauren. “Like I said, the receipt is in the bag if you want to exchange them or something.”

Lauren stares down at the records in awe. “I love it. I love- this is the best! Thank you so much, Camzi, I’ll pay you back if you want because I know they were probably expensive-”

Camila waves her off. Sure, it was $70 of her savings gone, but that doesn’t matter when she looks at the smile on her girlfriend’s face. “Nope, no paying back. It’s a _gift_. Seeing you this happy is repayment enough.”

Lauren runs her fingers over the cellophane cover on the albums. “You’re the best girlfriend ever. Thank you. I will listen to them when I get home tomorrow.”

Camila watches as Lauren puts the albums back into the bag as carefully as she can, and then turn back to her pizza and start rearranging the pepperoni again.

“Why are you playing with the pepperoni?” Camila asks, ungracefully eating a slice of her own pizza. “It’ll go cold.”

“There has to be three pieces of pepperoni on each slice or I can’t eat it.” Lauren says, quickly rearranging it. “The number three is a good number. When I’m at a restaurant I just get plain cheese, because people look at me funny if I start playing with my food.”

Camila notices that Lauren is four pepperonis off being able to have three on each slice, and quickly peels four off of her own pizza and dropping them in Lauren’s box. “There. You wouldn’t have been able to get three on each otherwise.”

Lauren smiles as she finishes organising her pizza. “Thank you, Camzi. Now I can eat it because there’s three on each slice.”

“No worries, Lo,” Camila reaches over Lauren to play _The Lion King_ , trying her best to conceal her smile when she notices how much attention her girlfriend is paying to the opening sequence of the movie. “You should hold Nala up like that. I’d be the perfect recreational opportunity.”

In response, Lauren lets go of the slice of pizza she’s holding between her teeth and holds Nala up in the air, letting out a muffled, “I’m doing it.”

Camila takes Nala from her so Lauren doesn’t drop her pizza. “You’re such a dork, Lo.”

“In a good way?” Lauren swallows a mouthful of pizza and tucks Nala under her arm again. “Am I a dork in a good way?”

“Yep,” Camila replies, grabbing one of the pillows she’d brought into the tent and putting it behind her and Lauren, not so sneakily using that as an excuse to get closer to her girlfriend. “It’s good because I’m a dork too. Our mutual dorkiness makes our relationship all the more perfect.”

Lauren snuggles her face into Camila’s neck and continues happily munching on her pizza. “Yes, we’re perfect together. You buy me records and you’re really sweet because you didn’t even have to get me a present but you did anyway because you like me and you’re really patient and you- um, don’t speak to those girls anymore because you chose me.”

At the mention of Marielle and Sandra, Camila feels her blood boil. She hasn’t had a word of apology from either of them, and she’s going to give them two more weeks to apologise until she deletes and blocks their numbers.

Yes, she knows she’s probably hoping a bit _too_ much for a full apology from them, but whatever, it’s not like it’d change things. She’d still pick Lauren. Especially after the things they’d called her when she’d said Lauren was her girlfriend. Thankfully Lauren didn't hear any of that.

“I’d always choose you, honey.” Camila assures her. When Lauren doesn’t respond – probably because she’s way too caught up in _The Lion King_ to care – Camila tries something else. “Lo? Can I kiss you?”

Lauren hums. “After the movie.”

Camila laughs, but respects Lauren’s wishes and spends the rest of the movie playing with Lauren’s hair. The only acknowledgement she gets from the other girl is when her hands still for a moment and Lauren whines, shuffling her head around to communicate that she wants Camila to keep touching her hair. Other than that, Lauren is completely enamoured by the movie, and Camila is starting to regret putting it on. At least Lauren would talk through _Harry Potter_.

(Although, she does enjoy it when Lauren sings along to the songs with her beautifully raspy voice.)

When the end credits finally roll, Lauren shuffles around to Camila and kisses her. “There, I kissed you after the movie.”

“Honestly, I watched you more than I watched it,” Camila ruffles Lauren’s hair, “you’re cute when you’re really interested in something. We should have a Disney day where we sit in our pyjamas and watch movies.”

“Yes, we can watch all of the _Lion King_ movies!” Lauren beams. “We can have a _Lion King_ day and it’ll be the best day ever.”

“Sure, Lo. As long as you promise not to ignore me all day.” Camila teases as Lauren turns around and sits herself in Camila’s lap. “Comfy there?”

“Yes, I am doing what you did the other week and sitting on your lap while I kiss you.” Lauren explains herself, and leans down and kisses Camila again.

Camila’s stomach does somersault after somersault as Lauren kisses her, and she’s so focused on what her girlfriend’s tongue is doing that she doesn’t even notice her hands, which have slipped under Camila’s shirt to touch her bare waist.

Lauren pulls away again, and with crimson cheeks, she looks at Camila shyly. “Is it okay if I touch you? Like you touched me the other week?”

“You want to feel me up, Lo?” Camila laughs when her girlfriend’s cheeks turn even redder. “Go ahead.”

“Okay, um,” Lauren looks down and moves her hand around, eventually closing it around Camila’s right breast. She stays completely still for a moment and looks down at her hand. “What do I do now?”

Camila smiles, because she can tell Lauren is nervous, and she moves her hands to pull Lauren back down to her. “Go with your instincts, Lo. Do what feels right.”

With that, she pulls her back down for another kiss, and her girlfriend’s hand stays still for a moment. But then Lauren ‘goes with her instincts’, and _damn_ , it pays off. Still able to sense that Lauren is nervous, Camila peppers kisses along her girlfriend’s jawline, whispering words of encouragement in between each kiss.

She doesn’t know how much time passes before Lauren detaches herself from Camila and pulls Nala up to her chest.

“That was wonderful.” Lauren smiles to herself. “I- um, made another step by touching you and I know it sounds lame but I’m proud of myself.”

“It’s not lame.” Camila assures her. “I’m proud of you too. Now come and cuddle with me. We can watch _Harry Potter_ and you can tell me cute little facts you remember from when you reread the series.”

Lauren hums. “Can I get in my pyjamas?”

“Of course.” Camila nods, “You can get changed in the bathroom indoors if you want. Or you could change here, I don’t know if you’re- uh… comfortable with that or not.”

Lauren looks at her for a moment and digs through her overnight bag for her onesie. “I will get changed in here. I don’t mind if you look, because I won’t take my bra off until I get my onesie on.”

Camila laughs. “Is that an invitation for me to stare at your abs?”

“No, that’s just me telling you that it’s okay if you look while I change.” Lauren replies, pulling off her sweater. Camila catches the sizing on the tag and rolls her eyes when it’s an extra-large. Naturally.

Lauren unbuttons her jeans and kicks them off, digging through her overnight bag for her onesie. Camila has to bite back her smile at Lauren’s _Lion King_ underwear. And yeah, maybe she stares a little more than she should, but whatever. Lauren had said it was okay.

In an effort to distract herself, Camila picks up Lauren’s sweater and drapes it over herself. “Look, I’ve got a new blanket.”

Lauren turns around to her as she pulls her onesie on, struggling to do the buttons on the front up. “That’s my sweater, not a blanket.”

“It might as well be a blanket,” Camila points out, helping Lauren with her buttons. “It’s an extra-large, Lo. You’re a small or medium.”

Lauren shrugs. “I like it when my clothes _are_ big on me. I told you that. Wear it, it’s comfy.”

Camila pulls her shirt off, aware of Lauren staring at her, and tugs the sweater over her head. She has to admit that it’s comfortable, but she’s not sure that’s just because of the sizing. She’s pretty sure it’s because it smells like Lauren.

She slips out of her skirt and decides that instead of going upstairs to get her pyjamas, she’s going to sleep in her underwear and Lauren’s huge sweater. “There. I’m in my pyjamas now.”

Lauren blinks at her. “You’re not, you’re wearing my sweater.”

“Exactly. This is what I’m sleeping in.” Camila says. “My actual pyjamas are just some sleep shorts and the black _The 1975_ sweater you let me temporarily steal. I like sleeping in your sweaters, they smell like you.”

“Do I smell good?” Lauren asks. “Like you?”

Camila smiles as Lauren cuddles up to her. “You smell like home.”

Lauren looks at her like she’s just won a million dollars. “You make me feel special. Like, you were out at Target and you saw something that reminded you of me and then you bought me an amazing present and- I just- I think Mani was wrong.”

Camila blinks in confusion. “Mani? What did she say?”

“She said- um, at one point she said that she wasn’t sure you were good for me, but she’s changed her mind now.” Lauren traces three circles on Camila’s palm. “She thought that maybe I was the only one who really cared about this- about _us_ , and she was worried because I told her about that time you called me the ‘f’ word and she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea for us to date but the other week when I was talking about you, she said that she’s changed her mind and she thinks that this is good. That we’re right.”

Camila frowns, remembering a text Normani had sent her. It was after she’d called Lauren cute and Normani had said that she was happy to hear things like that ‘from both sides’. “I didn’t know she had her doubts.”

Lauren nods. “Yes, but she was wrong, which is weird, because Manibear is pretty much always right. She’s really smart, almost as smart as me.”

Camila decides that the next time she sees Normani, she’ll ask her what Lauren is talking about. “Yeah, she is. I’ve spoken to Dinah and Ally about you a few times – mostly Dinah, but if I don’t want any inevitable teasing I go to Ally.”

“You’re closest to Dinah, aren’t you?” Lauren says. “She’s your Cheechee. Whatever that means. Is she like your soulmate like Lucy is mine?”

Camila laughs. “No, I don’t think Dinah’s my soulmate, Lolo.”

“That’s sad.” Lauren hums in thought. “We should find you a soulmate. It can’t be that hard, you can have more than one-”

“Lauren,” Camila interrupts, “how exactly does this whole ‘soulmates’ thing work? Like, how would I know if someone is my soulmate?”

“Well, it’s like with Lucy, we connect because we have lots in common so we can relate to each other, and she understands me because she has Asperger’s and she thinks kind of like me.” Lauren explains. “It’s about a deep connection and you can have a connection with more than one person. Like we have a connection but I don’t think we’re soulmates yet. I let you look through my sketchbook so your soul can see inside mine so we’re closer to being soulmates. But we still need to find you another soulmate, because I have Lucy and it wouldn’t be fair for me to have two and you to have one.”

Camila smiles at Lauren’s little speech and kisses her girlfriend’s cheek. “We’ll work on finding me a soulmate then. But… I want to show you a bit of my soul, too. I’m going to text you a link to something and you have to promise me you’ll watch it when you get home tomorrow. Okay?”

“What is the link to?” Lauren asks her. “I want to know what it is or I won’t click on it, because you could be pranking me like Dinah does sometimes, and she’s influencing you a little. And then I'd have to prank you back.”

“It’s not a prank.” Camila assures her. “It’s a- uh… cover that I did. Well, it’s like half a cover, I added my own lyrics to it. I never really share my music with anyone, kind of like how you don’t like people looking through your sketchbook, so… hopefully your soul will get to see inside mine, too.”

Lauren looks up at her, her bright green eyes shimmering with something Camila fails to decipher. “I promise I will watch it when I get home tomorrow and I will make sure to save it to my computer because I want to be able to see your soul whenever I can, like how you can look through my sketchbook.”

“You’re so insightful, Lo,” Camila replies, squeezing her girlfriend’s hand, “you have so many opinions on things like this and I love being able to hear them.”

“Because you think I have a wonderful mind.” Lauren finishes for her. “You love the way my mind works. That’s what you said.”

“Yeah,” Camila notices the time on Lauren's phone screen and leans in and kisses her girlfriend again. “Look, it’s midnight. Happy three months, Lolo.”

“Happy three months, Camzi.” Lauren blushes as she pulls away. “I’m really glad you moved here. Even if you didn’t like me at first.”

Camila laughs. “Trust me, if I could go back in time and slap some sense into past-Camila so we’d be dating for five months rather than three, I’d totally do it. Past-Camila really needed a wakeup call to your adorableness.”

“I still like past-Camila though.” Lauren tells her, tapping on her leg. “Past-Camila was the one I had a crush on.”

Camila snorts with laughter. “So what’s present-Camila, then?”

“Present-Camila is the one I’m in a real relationship with and that I- um, I’m falling for.” Lauren stutters. “Metaphorically, of course. I’m not actually falling on the ground.”

“I know, Lo,” Camila giggles and kisses the tip of her girlfriend’s nose. “And present-Lauren is the one I’m _metaphorically_ falling for too.”

Lauren just beams in response.


	19. Chapter 19

Camila arrives in the art room with Ally, laden with both her and Lauren’s lunches. “So are you going to go out with Will, then?”

“I don’t know,” Ally holds the door open for her and Camila sends her a grateful smile, because there’s no way she’d be able to open it herself. “I’m thinking about it.”

“I mean, you could have fun,” Camila suggests, “that was why I said yes to Austin initially. The possibility of fun.”

Ally raises her eyebrows. “And why’d you say yes to Lauren initially?”

“Oh, because it was _certain_ I’d have fun with her.” Camila replies, dropping the food on their regular table, Lauren the only one occupying it since she’d done extra art during her free period. “Hey, Lolo. We’re talking about how Ally should stop being so single and go out with this guy who asked her out.”

“I’m thinking about it.” Ally repeats as Camila gives Lauren her lunch. “I don’t really know him. He could turn out to be weird.”

“ _Or_ he could turn out to be the love of your life,” Camila counters, aware of how unrealistic the idea is. “There’s all sorts of amazing possibilities out there.”

“Are we talking about Ally’s love life?” Dinah asks with a grin as she sits down. “Because that was practically non-existent after the Trolly break up.”

Camila blinks in confusion. “Trolly? Should I know what that is?”

“It’s her ship name for Ally and her ex, Troy.” Normani explains, sitting down in the remaining seat next to Lauren. “Like how her ship name for you and Lo is Camren and she’s the self-proclaimed captain.”

Dinah grins, “Yeah, because if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have gone to Lauser’s when she was on her pain meds and you two wouldn’t have decided to go on a date. So there. I’m the rightful captain.”

“I guess so,” Camila replies, before turning to her girlfriend, who has been exceptionally quiet as she eats her food. “Lolo? Are you okay?”

Lauren finishes off her sandwich and nods, not saying a word. It worries Camila a little, and she isn’t sure if Lauren’s being truthful, because if she was okay she’d be her usual rambly self. Right?

“Are you sure about that?” Camila asks. “You’re being really quiet.”

Lauren opens her mouth and then closes it again, her jaw working like a fish out of water. Then, she blurts out, “I want to paint you.”

That was the last thing Camila had been expecting, but whatever, she can go with that. “Okay then. When?”

“I- um, at my house,” Lauren says, rocking on her chair, “tonight. But- are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure,” Camila laughs, “I’m your _muse_ , remember? Besides, it’s not like you haven’t drawn or painted me before.”

“N-no,” Lauren stutters and looks down at her feet, “that’s not what I meant. I meant I wanted to paint _on_ you. On your back.”

“Oh,” Camila blinks, thinking back to a few pictures she’s seen on Tumblr of back paintings. She knows that Lauren’s an amazing artist, so she figures why not. “Okay. That’s fine. I’ll come home with you and you can paint my back.”

“But you- you’ll have to be topless,” Lauren looks at her like she’s crazy before moving her gaze back down to her hands, clenching and unclenching her fingers. “You’ll have to be topless and I might- um, see things. That you don’t want me to see.”

Camila laughs, and lowering her voice because they’re in company, asks, “Lo, are you worried you’ll see my b-”

“ _No_ , don’t say that,” Lauren is quick to interrupt her and shakes her head, “I don’t- I’m not sure if it’s okay for you to be topless around me. I could- um, you could always roll your shirt up, but it might get messy and… I just don’t know, Camz.”

“I’m perfectly fine with you seeing me topless, baby.” Camila assures her, squeezing her girlfriend’s arm. “It’s okay. You’re my girlfriend. It’s a normal thing.”

“I- but, do I have to… uh, let you see me too?” Lauren asks nervously. “Because it’s not fair otherwise. I just want to paint your back, though. I don’t want to- um, look at your breasts. Well, I mean, I wouldn’t mind it, but- um… I’m just making things worse by talking, aren’t I?”

Camila laughs and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “A little. It’s fine, Lolo, I don’t care if you see anything. I trust you.”

“But what if-” Lauren closes her eyes and hums, “what if I, um, stare? I might get distracted and stare and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Staring is different to looking.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Camila ruffles Lauren’s hair playfully and smiles when her girlfriend blushes. “I’m your girlfriend. You’re allowed to look.”

“Okay. I’m allowed.” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, “I’m happy that- um, we’re going to do this, because- um, it’s quite intimate, I guess, and it will, uh, further our physical relationship more without doing anything that makes me uncomfortable.”

Camila squeezes Lauren around the waist and nods. “Yeah. What’re you planning on painting?”

“Well… I was thinking maybe a galaxy,” Lauren rubs her hand up and down her leg, because you’re like- um, you’re like the universe to me. And I want to paint a galaxy on you. Because, um, you’re like my world but you’re not, because you’re more than that, and a galaxy is loads of different worlds and planets and lives. That’s you. You’re a galaxy.”

“That is the _grossest_ shit I’ve ever heard,” Dinah mock gags and both Camila and Lauren are suddenly reminded of the three other people in the room. “That was so poetic and sappy. This is too much, even for your captain.”

Lauren blinks in confusion. “Captain? Why are you a captain?”

“Captain of the ship,” Ally replies, motioning between Camila and Lauren, “the Camren ship. ‘Camren’ is yours and Camila’s name combined.”

If anything, Lauren looks more confused. “We have a boat?”

Camila nearly chokes on air as she tries to conceal her laughter. She doesn’t to it very well, but instead of bursting out into a fit of giggles like the other girls, she lets out a slight coughing sound and then squeezes Lauren’s hand. “Yeah, the S.S. Camren.”

“Well, can I see it?” Lauren asks, taking her a little too literally. “I didn’t know we’d bought a boat. Can we go on a boat ride?”

“No, Lo,” Normani manages to stop laughing long enough to explain, “it’s a figurative thing. You guys don’t have a literal ship. ‘Ship’ is short for relationship in this context.”

Lauren pouts. “That’s dumb. You guys are dumb. Stop laughing at me.”

“You’re a cutie, Lolo,” Camila replies, pulling her girlfriend in for a hug. “Don’t you know about shipping?”

“I do, but- um, you didn’t tell me it was in that context, and you said that we have a boat,” Lauren protests, pulling away from Camila. “No, you don’t get a hug, you laughed at me but you didn’t explain so you don’t get a hug.”

It’s Camila’s turn to pout. “But I want a hug. What about kisses instead?”

“No,” Lauren folds her arms across her chest and rocks on her chair, “no kisses because you laughed at me. That’s your- um, your punishment for teasing me. I don’t like being teased.”

Camila snorts. “Well, by that logic, you’re punishing yourself too, because we both know you love my kisses.”

“I… I was only joking.” Lauren lamely defends herself and taps on the table. “I’m not really banning kisses. I do love your kisses, they’re very nice.”

“Exactly,” To prove her point, Camila kisses Lauren on her temple, “I’m the best kisser in the universe. You couldn’t live without me and my perfect kisses.”

“You’re right, babe,” Lauren doesn’t pick up on her sarcasm, but she completely surprises Camila with that pet name again. “I like it when you kiss me there. And on my forehead. And my cheek. Obviously on my mouth too.”

Camila hears Normani whispering _she called her babe_ to Dinah and Ally and realises that they’re equally as surprised as she is. Because Camila Cabello will never get used to her tiny innocent girlfriend calling her _babe_.

“I like it when you call me that,” Camila murmurs, “Babe, I mean. You called me it at the art gallery last month.”

“You call me all sorts of things,” Lauren points out, rubbing a hand along her thigh. “Like, uh, baby and honey and sweetheart and angel. So I thought I would do the same for you, and I read online that _babe_ is a good term of endearment for a girlfriend.”

 _There she goes again with the google searches_ , Camila thinks, a fond smile making its way onto her face. She decides that she really wants to see Lauren’s search history at some point. That’d be hilarious.

“You could’ve asked me for a good term of endearment, Ralph,” Dinah smirks across the table, “I would’ve been happy to help.”

Lauren narrows her eyes at her friend. “You would’ve told me to call her a sock or something because you think it’s funny to, um, sabotage my relationship. Even though you think you’re the captain of our Camren ship.”

“I _am_ the captain,” Dinah replies, “I ship you two harder than Ally and Mani do. It’s just funny that you’re so gullible and it’s not like Chancho would ever dump you, so in reality, I’m just contributing to cute Camren moments that you two can laugh at in the future.”

Normani laughs. “Maybe you should stop that. It’s me and Ally who get all of the relationship advice duties because she knows she can trust us. As a best friend, it’s only fair you get some too.”

“Hey, no, I get loads of gross ass texts from Walz about how soft Lauser’s lips are,” Dinah defends herself, and Camila turns bright red. “It’s like my typical Friday night to get a running update on all of the ‘cute’ things Ralph has done.”

Lauren beams. “You tell Dinah I’m cute?”

“She tells Dinah a lot of things,” Normani cryptically replies, “some things that might’ve been relayed onto Ally and me.”

Ally laughs at Camila’s worried expression, “Don’t worry, Mila. Nothing _too_ embarrassing.”

“We might have a Camren group chat though,” Dinah replies, “that’s where most of the shipping goes on. We’ll add you to it if you promise not to complain when I expose both your asses for being gross and sappy all the time.”

“I want to be in the chat,” Lauren gets her phone out, “add me on it. I want to see.”

“I guess if you’re adding Lolo, you can add me too,” Camila says as Lauren takes Normani’s phone and scrolls through the messages. “I want to know what you guys are gossiping about without me. Considering I’m one half of Camren.”

“Camz, I didn’t know you thought I have a nice butt,” Lauren announces as she looks at one of the screenshots Dinah had sent to the chat. “I think yours is nice too. It’s really big.”

Red stains Camila’s neck and she looks down at her feet, aware of Dinah’s laughter. “I, uh… thanks, honey.”

“You say lots of nice things about me to Dinah,” Lauren continues, reading through a few of the texts. “I’m glad, because you- um, you used to say mean things about me to that girl. The one that called me the ‘r’ word.”

All of the laughter in the room stops immediately, and Normani looks to Lauren with a serious expression on her face. “Someone called you the ‘r’ word? Alright, who do I need to kill?”

“One of Camila’s old friends. From her old house,” Lauren seems a lot more occupied with scrolling through the group chat, and she doesn’t notice how Normani turns to Camila with a frown that looks mysteriously like a glare. “It’s okay though, she stood up for me and shouted at them and kicked them out and she’s not friends with them anymore. Camzi chose me.”

“When did that happen?” Ally asks her, looking at Lauren as though she’s not sure she’s entirely okay. “How long ago?”

“Nearly two months.” Camila replies, shifting uncomfortably under her friends’ stares. “I figured Lauren would’ve told someone like Normani. She usually does. But it’s not like it matters anymore.”

Dinah ignores Camila’s words and turns to Lauren. “Are you sure you’re okay, Ralph? I know how much that word upsets you.”

Lauren hums, and Normani takes her phone back to stop any distractions. “I think I’m okay. I don’t- um, I don’t want to think about it. Camz chose me and, uh, she blocked their numbers. Right, babe? You blocked their numbers.”

“I did,” Camila nods – she’d actually let Lauren do the honours, but still. “It made me so angry and I could’ve strangled Marielle, honestly.”

“I don’t like violence.” Lauren tells her, patting her on the head. “No violence, Camzi. Just shouting at them was fine.”

Dinah and Ally seem to relax again, but Normani still looks sceptical. “What did you say to them?”

“Told them the truth,” Camila shrugs, “if they’re going to be ableist jerks then they’re no friends of mine.”

Lauren fiddles with her fingers. “You also told them ‘not to contact you in any fucking way’. And they haven’t have they?”

“Well, they can’t now that I’ve blocked their numbers.” Camila replies, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “I don’t want them to contact me. Not if they’re going to be horrible to you. You’re my priority.”

Lauren smiles and kisses Camila’s cheek. “You chose me.”

Normani finally looks satisfied. “Okay then. But Lo, tell us next time, okay? If someone calls you the ‘f’ word or the ‘r’ word, I want to eat least find out about it while I can still fucking smack them for hurting my bestie.”

Lauren shuffles closer to Camila as if she’s trying to protect her, and Normani sends her a knowing look. Camila swallows the lump in her throat for two reasons, one being that Normani is incredibly intimidating when she wants to be, and two being that she doesn’t want to be reminded of her first fuck up. Or ‘ _crime of passion’_ in Lauren’s words.

“Okay, I will tell you next time.” Lauren murmurs, tapping on Camila’s leg three times. “But I still don’t like violence.”

“And we don’t like people being a jerk to our best friend.” Ally says. “I don’t like violence either, but I’m not going to hold Dinah and Mani – and probably Camila – back if someone calls you the ‘f’ and ‘r’ words, Lo.”

Lauren grabs Camila’s hand and starts playing with her fingers. “Okay. But Camzi couldn’t fight anyone. She’s tiny.”

“I’m not that small.” Camila pouts. “Ally’s shorter than me.”

“Yes, but you’re like,” Lauren pauses and wraps her arms around Camila’s waist. “Your waist is tiny. Someone could snap you in half if they were really dedicated to the cause, and I don’t want only half a Camz.”

Camila laughs and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “Fine then. For your benefit I won’t get myself into any physical fights. You can have my verbal defence.”

“Yes, that’s better.” Lauren nods and kisses her cheek. She looks over to the clock and checks the time, before turning back and kissing Camila properly. “I’m going to go to history now, because I like to be ten minutes early. I will see you at the end of the day when you come to my house and- um, I paint your back.”

“Okay, Lolo,” Camila pulls her back for another kiss and ruffles her girlfriend’s hair. “I’ll see you later. I’ll meet you outside your last class.”

“Alright,” Lauren pulls her backpack onto her shoulders and keeps her sketchbook clutched to her chest. “Bye, Camzi. Bye guys.”

Camila spends the last ten minutes of lunch break half listening to her friends and half listening to her music, and then when she hears the bell signalling the start of her next class, she’s quick to pack away her things, because she needs to talk to a certain someone.

“Hey, Mani?” Camila catches up to Normani as they depart from the art room. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, Mila,” Normani replies, “but if you want more ‘how to win Lauren over’ tips, I have nothing, because the girl’s already head over heels. Just existing is fine.”

“No, it’s not that,” Camila says, “Lauren might’ve mentioned that you initially thought that her and I dating wouldn’t be such a good idea, and I just want to know why. I’m not mad or anything, just curious.”

Normani looks her over for a moment. “It was just some of the things she’d say that worried me a little. Like you touching her without permission and calling her a freak – yes, she told me about that – and I didn’t want her to think that it was okay to excuse you for that because you were going to go on a date. I had my reservations because I thought maybe she was putting more into it than you, that maybe you were just using her to get over what happened with Austin or whatever, because she practically idolised you.

“Then I started noticing things. How you’d look at her when she wasn’t paying attention. How you’d comfort her without even trying. How she seemed so relaxed around you. So I figured maybe Lauren was right about someone for once, but I was still wary, because I wasn’t sure if she was putting more into it than you were. If she cared about the relationship more than you.

“But then you texted me that time you were on that art gallery date and you were talking about how much you adored her and that’s when my doubts started to go away. After that, I texted Dinah and asked her if you’d ever spoken about Lauren to her, and I get over fifty screenshots going back all the way to you guys’ first date sent to me and then the Camren group chat was born. Honestly though, some of the stuff you said shocked me. Like, damn, Mila, I didn’t know you were so sappy.”

Camila turns bright red and decides on the spot that she’s going to have a word with Dinah later. “I’m not _sappy_. I just- she makes me smile and I like to get my thoughts out. But if Dinah’s going around publishing full length novels about how much I adore Lauren, maybe I’ll invest in a journal.”

“That might be a good idea.” Normani smiles at her. “I’m glad you’re not offended that I had my doubts. Lauren’s my best friend and I worry about her. I didn’t want her getting hurt and I had to be sure that everything was completely mutual between you two.”

“I get it.” Camila smiles at the thought of her girlfriend. “I never want her to get hurt either. She’s just… she’s amazing.”

“And that gross expression on your face is exactly why you guys have my approval now.” Normani teases her. “But if you call her a freak again, you’re gonna catch these hands.”

Camila nods, because she’s already sworn to herself that that isn’t going to happen. “Don’t worry, I never would. She told me that if something like that happens again I’ll lose her trust forever and that’s not something I want to do. She’s my girlfriend and my best friend and I don’t want to lose her.”

Normani shrugs. “Well, if you keep going as you are, I doubt you’ll ever lose her. She’s so heart eyes for you. It’s adorable. I think you guys are really cute together.”

Camila goes to respond, but as she sits down in her seat in their math class, a boy wanders over and smiles at her. “Hey, you’re Camila, right?”

“Yeah,” Camila nods, surprised that someone actually said her name correctly. “Can I help you with something?”

“I’m Shawn,” He introduces himself, “You’re in my Spanish class and I’m kind of in need of a tutor. I asked our teacher and she told me you’re one of the best in the class. It’s cool if you don’t want to tutor me or anything, but it’d really help out.”

“Uh… sure, I guess.” Camila replies, a little stunned, because that was completely unexpected. “I’ll tutor you.”

“Cool. Can I get your number?” He asks. “We can organise a day to meet in the library after school and you can help me out.”

Camila gives him her number and sends him a smile and he heads back over to his friends. She turns back to Normani and sees the other girl looking at her with a frown. “What?”

“You have a girlfriend and you just gave some guy your number.” Normani points out. When Camila rolls her eyes, she sends her a glare. “Mila. He wanted your number. I doubt he even needs tutoring.”

“You’re paranoid, Mani,” Camila laughs. “I like _Lauren_. Not some guy who apparently needs help with his Spanish.”

“Still, be careful,” Normani looks over to Shawn with a frown. “I know for a fact that Mendes over there has a bit of a reputation.”

Again, Camila rolls her eyes. “Well, if he does or doesn’t, I couldn’t care less. I _do_ care about how I’m hanging out with my beautiful girlfriend, Lauren Michelle Jauregui tonight though.”

Normani shrugs. “I still think you should be wary of him. He’s on the football team and he's friends with one of Lauren's old crushes, Luis. You know, the one that made sure he humiliated her in front of everyone.”

"Just because he's friends with him, doesn't mean that he's trying to take me away from Lauren." Camila replies. "I l-... Lauren's my girlfriend and one of my best friends. Nothing will ever make me want to leave her."

As Normani sighs and turns back to her work, Camila thinks about the four letter word that she nearly let slip. Did she really mean that? And why had it just nearly slipped out in casual conversation.

Eventually, Camila forgets about it and goes back to her work, her slip up forgotten by the end of class.


	20. Chapter 20

“I guess, um, that you can lay out on my bed or something?” Lauren pushes open her bedroom door and switches the light on, waiting until Camila has walked past her to close the door again. “I’ll take my sheets off so if we get paint on it I’ll just go on my mattress and my parents will never know.”

“Your inner troublemaker coming out there, I see,” Camila teases her girlfriend and helps her strip the sheets from her bed. “You go and get your paints ready, I can deal with this.”

Lauren walks over to where she keeps her paints as Camila finishes tearing Lauren’s sheets off, and she organises the colours she’ll need and gets out a brush. She turns back to Camila and rocks herself on her heels. “I can put a movie on while we do this. Tell me what movie you want to watch.”

“I don’t care,” Camila replies, “put something Disney on. Like _Frozen_ or something.”

Lauren walks over to her DVD case and pulls out _The Lion King 2_ , and Camila figures she’d tuned out after hearing the phrase ‘put something Disney on’. But whatever, Camila is probably going to spend more time talking to Lauren than watching the movie.

Lauren plays the movie and then walks back over to Camila, her paints and brushes ready. “Um, here’s a pillow you can rest your head on… and yeah, I’m ready to paint now.”

“Okay.” Camila nods and pulls her shirt over her head, handing it to Lauren to put somewhere, because she knows that the older Latina hates mess on her bedroom floor. Then, she reaches behind and unclasps her bra, handing that to her wide eyed girlfriend.

Lauren stays completely still, her cheeks bright red and her eyes trained on Camila’s chest, and the younger Latina blushes in embarrassment, because she can’t gauge Lauren’s reaction from her expression.

Lauren fiddles with her fingers and finally tears her gaze away from Camila’s chest. “You’re- um, you’re really beautiful, Camila.”

“Thank you, Lo.” Camila bites down on her bottom lip and lays down on her stomach. “Come on then. Make me your canvas.”

Lauren stays still for a moment, as if she’s thinking over what she just saw, and then nods, picking up her paintbrush. She sits down next to Camila and the younger girl knows she’s started painting when she feels something cool on her back.

“Does that feel okay?” Lauren asks as she dips her paintbrush back into the pallet. “It’s not uncomfortable, is it?”

“It’s fine.” Camila assures her. “It actually kind of tickles.”

Lauren laughs. “Hopefully it’s a good tickle because this is going to take me a while.”

“Can we play twenty questions while you paint?” Camila asks. “I want to learn little things about you.”

“Uh… okay then.” Lauren hums in thought for a moment. “Are you excited to turn seventeen?”

“I guess so.” Camila responds. She hasn’t really thought about her birthday much yet, since it’s not for another few months. “Are you excited to turn eighteen?”

“Yes, because I will get my dragonfly tattoo.” Lauren replies, shifting a little to get a better angle to paint. “And maybe another tattoo somewhere else, but I haven’t thought about that yet. But I’m going to get my dragonfly tattoo. Have you made any more music lately that I can listen to? I listened to your cover and it was wonderful, your voice is really unique and beautiful.”

Camila laughs. “I have a few other covers that I could send you if that’s what you want.”

“Yes please.” Lauren says, muttering something to herself to do with the paints before continuing. “What’s your favourite song right now?”

“Wake Me Up by Ed Sheeran.” Camila is quick to reply. “You?”

“Um… well, I have sometimes favourites and then a permanent favourite. My permanent favourite is American by Lana Del Rey, but currently my sometimes favourites are the entirety of _The 1975_ ’s new album. It sounds so good on vinyl, thank you for buying me that. And their first album too, I really appreciated it.”

“That’s okay,” Camila smiles, “I wanted to make you happy and I figured _The 1975_ would do that. I was actually considering getting you concert tickets, but I wasn’t sure if that’d be a good idea because loud and crowded places are your nemesis and that’s generally what concerts are like.”

“I think maybe one day I’d like to try and go to a concert.” Lauren says, switching paintbrushes to a smaller one. Camila figures it’s probably to add detail. “I don’t know if I’ll like it though. I’ve watched live videos of my favourite bands on YouTube before.”

“Well maybe we can snuggle in bed and watch live _The 1975_ videos instead.” Camila suggests. “That way we’re in an environment you can control and we’re watching your favourite band.”

“Yes,” Lauren smiles, “I like that. You have lots of good ideas, Camzi. You keep thinking about things that are best for me and I really like that. You’re getting a lot better at being- um, a good friend. You’re always a good girlfriend so you don’t have to get better at that, but the friend stuff that you used to be bad at… you’re getting better at them.”

Camila hums in response. “It’s because I’m used to it all now. I’d never met an autistic person before you so things like touching people randomly and talking literally weren’t things I had to think about. It just took me a little time to get it right.”

“You don’t treat me differently though.” Lauren points out. “Aside from- um, the girlfriend stuff. That’s differently because you wouldn’t make out with our friends. But you talk to me like you’d talk to Ally and Mani and Dinah. Sometimes- um, your friend did this, actually – people talk to me like I’m a child. And I’m not. Well, technically I’m legally still a minor, but- you know what I mean. They talk to me like I’m a little kid. Or a puppy or something. They patronise me. I hate it when people patronise me, because I’m probably smarter than they are.”

“Marielle did that to you, didn’t she? Because you’re right, you’re definitely smarter than she is. I’m pretty sure she only had a 2.8 GPA. That’s nothing compared to a 5.0.” Camila shivers when Lauren paints a line across her back. At least she thinks it’s a line. “I’m sorry I didn’t stand up for you sooner when they were being bitches, Lo. I didn’t want to start a fight and I figured that if they got to know you, maybe they’d like you as much as I do. Well… not as much as I do, because then I’d have competition and I don’t want that. But I guess I had my hopes up too high. But whatever, it just means that there’s more Lolo for me.”

“I’m nearly an adult.” Lauren disregards her words, tapping on her leg. “In June I’ll be an adult. Sometimes I wish I was going to college this year, because when people notice that I should be a senior they think I was held back because I’m autistic and then they think I’m stupid and it makes me really angry because I’m smart and it’s not my fault that my parents didn’t think I could go to school at first.”

Camila waits until Lauren starts painting again to talk. “Why didn’t your parents think you could go to school at first?”

“Because I still wasn’t talking very well and they didn’t know- they didn’t know that I had autism yet. It was before I was diagnosed because I got my official diagnosis when I was five and a half so they weren’t sure why I couldn’t speak very well and had, um, ‘tantrums’ a lot. Which was sensory overload but I couldn’t tell them that.” Lauren explains, pausing for a moment to switch to the smallest paintbrush. “They thought because I had a lot of breakdowns and couldn’t really communicate that well that I shouldn’t go to school for another year, so they put me in a year late at a different school for, um, kids with learning disabilities. After I was diagnosed.”

“You met the other girls in third grade, when you started at their school, right?” Camila pauses until Lauren hums in confirmation. “Did you have any friends at the other school?”

“I didn’t like it there. Some of the kids there were really loud and I don’t… I don’t like loud. Dinah, Ally and Mani are loud sometimes, but not in a bad way.” Lauren replies, not really answering Camila’s question. “I didn’t really make any friends. I can’t… I’m not good at that. I used to get really frustrated when it was loud and I don’t think that the school was run very well. Eventually my parents thought it might be better to just enroll me in the public school and they did. And that helped more because I made friends- um, like, Manibear looked after me on my first week and helped me get used to the change. I liked elementary school because Mani, Ally and Dinah looked after me and… I think it’s because of them that I can talk well now. Because it was like constant interaction and they always listened to me and what I had to say.”

“I’m really glad you have them.” Camila says. “Especially Normani. She cares about you a lot.”

“Yes, Manibear,” Lauren distractedly replies, and Camila feels her switch from small brushstrokes to little dots. “I don’t know much about you. About your past. Can you tell me things?”

Camila nods. “Okay. What kind of things are you wanting to know?”

“Anything,” Lauren’s warm hand touches her side as the older Latina repositions herself, “Like, uh, what your life was like before you moved. If you had any different hobbies. What your friend group was like. Little things.”

“Well, I did cheerleading in freshman year if that counts as a hobby,” Camila replies, laughing at the memories she has of the numerous times she fell over. “I eventually realised I was too clumsy for it and quit. I made some friends through it though. My friend group mostly consisted of Sandra, Marielle and a couple of other girls from cheerleading. I had kind of a routine – wake up, go to school, pick up Sofi on the way home, then sit on Tumblr all night and probably text my friends.”

Lauren hums. “Sofi told me you were mean sometimes. Especially around Marielle and Sandra. I get what she meant, because you kept whispering to them and they’d laugh, or they’d whisper something to you. You wouldn’t laugh at those times, though.”

“That’s because they were saying something mean about you.” Camila admits, a little offended that her sister had considered her mean. “I only whispered something to them once though. I told them that they needed to be literal when they spoke to you.”

“You told them that I’m autistic?” Lauren asks, her paintbrush pausing. “You’re not- that’s not your thing to tell people. That’s mine. I don’t like it when people tell for me. I’m supposed to tell.”

“No,” Camila shakes her head, “I didn’t tell them that. I just told them that they needed be literal.”

“Oh,” Lauren resumes painting and Camila breathes a sigh of relief, because the last thing she wants is to make her girlfriend mad. “Okay then. That’s okay.”

“I didn’t think I should tell them,” Camila adds, “I remember you told me that you were mad at Dinah for telling me about your autism. So… I figured it’d be best to not say anything.”

“I was very mad at Dinah,” Lauren says, changing to the medium sized paintbrush again. “I didn’t speak to her for a few days after I found out she told you, but then she explained why she told and I wasn’t mad anymore.”

Camila laughs quietly. “She told you it was because I thought you didn’t like me, right?”

“Yeah,” Lauren hums and reaches forward to push Camila’s hair away from the painting, “She said- um, that you thought I was confusing, because I said we were friends but then I didn’t talk to you. I thought you were confusing too, because I didn’t know that somebody as pretty as you could be real.”

Camila turns bright red and her stomach does about ten flips in a row. “Damn, Lo. That’s about the flirtiest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Am I getting better at flirting?” Lauren asks. “I’ve been relying less on- um, what I read online and more on instinct. Is it better?”

“You’re like- you’re really good at it.” Camila assures her, and as much as she wants to kiss Lauren right now, she knows she can’t. Especially because of the wet paint on her back. “You’re smooth as hell. I remember one time you told me that you don’t have any ‘smooth moves’ to pull on people. Clearly you were lying your amazingly hot ass off.”

“I wasn’t lying. I didn’t think I did.” Lauren moves so she’s sat on Camila’s legs, and Camila is fully aware of her girlfriend leaning over her to add detail. “But you say I’m getting better, so I guess that’s good for you, because you’re the only girl I want to flirt with.”

Camila laughs. “Lo, you’re the cutest. How close are you to being finished?”

“I need to add detail.” Lauren tells her, and Camila sees her dip the end of her paintbrush into a purple colour she’d mixed. “Ask me more questions while I do this. Then, uh, we let it dry. I could use my hairdryer, but the paints might run…”

“Okay, more questions,” Camila bites down on her lip in thought. “Maybe… why do you like art so much?”

Lauren hums. “It’s my special interest. You know that.”

“No, but I mean,” Camila pauses and tries to think of how to word her question, “ _why_? Why is it your special interest?”

“Oh, um…” Lauren trails off for a moment and shrugs. “It’s like my- um… it’s kind of a security thing. It makes me feel calm. Whenever I’m upset I can just… make it go away by creating something. It gets my emotions out and helps me clear my head.”

“That’s really interesting.” Camila replies. “You’re really interesting.”

Lauren doesn’t hesitate to answer. “In a good way?”

“In the best way,” Camila assures her, smiling when Lauren shifts and kisses her behind the ear. “Are you finished with the painting?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods and picks up her paint pallet, “I’m going to go and wash this up in my bathroom. Don’t move because the paint might run and we need it to dry before we can take a picture of it. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” Camila nods and she hears Lauren’s footsteps padding away from her. She hears the bathroom light switch flick on and smiles when she hears Lauren humming to herself as she cleans up her paintbrushes and pallet.

Almost as if she senses Camila’s impending boredom, Lauren calls out from the bathroom, “I’m nearly done. I’ll go and get snacks if you want some. Or- um, you can stay for dinner with my family? If you want. I’ll have to tell my mom she needs to set an extra place at the table, though.”

“As long as it wouldn’t be a problem, I’ll stay for dinner,” Camila accepts Lauren’s offer with a smile, “besides, I need to do the obligatory ‘girlfriend meets family’ thing. I know I’ve already met your family, but only as a friend.”

“Um… yeah, I haven’t really told them that you’re my girlfriend,” Lauren admits, walking back into the room and sitting onto the bed next to Camila. “My mom knows that I like you and that we went on a date, but I didn’t tell her that you’re officially my girlfriend because I knew that she’d fuss over you. And my dad and siblings would embarrass me.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Lo, it’s like your family’s _job_ to embarrass you. My dad basically lives for the day I get a date so he can try out his scare tactics. Didn’t work on you.”

“Scare tactics?” Lauren frowns. “He has scare tactics? I don’t remember him being scary. I remember him asking silly questions that made no sense, like what my plans were for the evening after I dropped you off at home. Why did he need to know that?”

“That would be the scare tactics.” Camila laughs. “Like I said, it didn’t really work on you. A lot of it relied on implications and obviously they just went right over your pretty little head. But hey, it worked out. I think my dad was impressed you were so unintimidated by him.”

“And he called you Karla,” Lauren continues, seemingly ignoring Camila’s response. “That was dumb, because you’re called Camila, not Karla. You prefer Camila, so your parents should call you it so you feel comfortable. It annoyed me because I didn’t know you were called Karla so I was worried I was at the wrong house.”

Camila shrugs. “They never really call me Camila. I only really started going by that when I started high school, but I’d always preferred it over Karla.”

“I don’t know if I’d be able to make a nickname out of Karla,” Lauren murmurs to herself, “You can make lots of nicknames from Camila. Like Camz and Camzi and Mila. I think Camz is better than Mila though.”

“You’re the only one who calls me Camz,” Camila replies, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “It’s because you’re special to me.”

“I- yes, I’m special,” Lauren nods, “to you. I- uh, I’m going to go downstairs and tell my parents that you’re staying for dinner. I’ll be a few minutes.”

“Okay,” Camila shifts so she’s propped up on her forearms. “Can I get up yet?”

“No, the paint might run and I don’t want it to do that. It’s not- uh, it’s not on very thickly, but there’s still a chance it could.” Lauren replies, rocking herself backwards and forwards on her heels. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”

With that, Lauren darts from the room and leaves Camila to her own devices. Camila realises that her phone is all the way in her backpack, and she can’t exactly get up and get it, but Lauren’s phone is left unlocked on the bed next to her. She figures that her girlfriend won’t mind her playing a few games, and picks up the phone, swiping through Lauren’s apps.

Naturally, all of the games on the older girl’s phone are brain challenge games, and Camila tries a few and fails miserably. Really, she’d been hoping for something like Temple Run to pass the time with.

Camila is in the middle of playing a logo quiz game when the door opens and she hears Lauren’s voice. “What are you doing?”

“Playing games on your phone,” Camila replies, determined to finish off the level she’s on. “Did your mom say it’s cool for me to stay for dinner?”

“Yes,” Lauren distractedly replies, “what else did you look at on there? Did you look at my messages or my notes?”

“No,” Camila replies, although now Lauren is acting so oddly, maybe she will take a quick peek. “Why? What do you have to hide from me?”

“I- uh, nothing,” Lauren is quick to respond, and Camila can easily tell she’s lying. “Can I have my phone back now?”

Camila hesitates. “What are you hiding, Lo? I can tell you’re lying. It’s not nothing.”

“I’m not hiding anything.” Lauren insists, but again, Camila knows she’s not telling the truth, because Lauren Jauregui is a terrible liar. “I’m not.”

“Lauren,” Camila bites down on her bottom lip and the worst comes to mind. Maybe Lauren has someone else? Maybe that’s what she doesn’t want her to see. She knows it's dumb and that Lauren would never, but she has to be one hundred percent sure. “Are you talking to anybody else?”

“I talk to lots of people,” Lauren replies, rocking herself backwards and forwards on her heels. “I talk to you and Ally and Mani and Dinah and my family. Sometimes I talk to Alexa and Keana and Lucy and Vero.”

“No, Lauren,” Camila shakes her head and she feels like she’s going to be sick, because if Lauren had anybody else, she doesn’t know how she’d handle it. “I mean… are you talking to or seeing anybody else romantically?”

“We’re exclusive,” Lauren taps against her pants as if that answers the question, “when you’re exclusive with someone you can’t see anyone else romantically. That’s why I wanted to be exclusive with you, because you’re- um, you’re my Camz and I don’t want you to date anyone else and I don't want anyone else either because I have you.”

Camila frowns. “What don’t you want me to see on your phone?”

“I- um, I’m sorry,” Lauren apologises and starts clenching and unclenching the fingers on both hands. “Please don’t be mad at me. You’re frowning and I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“I’m not mad and you didn’t do anything wrong. Just tell me why you don’t want me to look at your phone.” Camila calmly responds, trying her best to send her girlfriend a smile. “Please?”

“Um- I said, uh,” Lauren stutters and makes a sort of choking sound, and for a moment, Camila is worried she’s about to go into sensory overload. But then, instead of continuing, Lauren shakes her head and sits down on the bed.

Camila slowly takes Lauren’s hand. “Lo, please tell me why you don’t want me to look at your phone messages. I’m worried. Has someone been harassing you over text? Is someone sending you mean messages?”

"No." Lauren sends her a desperate look and then shuts her eyes, and Camila hears her humming to herself. “I said things to people. About you. Things I don’t think I should tell you yet. You told me to wait until the time is right.”

Camila traces three circles on Lauren’s palm. “Is it the thing you wanted to tell me when we camped a few weeks ago?”

“Yes,” Lauren stammers, opening her eyes for a second to send Camila an earnest look. “I will tell you eventually. But I don’t want you to know yet.”

“Okay,” Camila kisses her girlfriend’s cheek as relief floods over her. “You don’t have to tell me yet. It’s okay. Tell me when you feel okay about it.”

“I will,” Lauren murmurs, tapping on her leg. “I’ll tell you when I feel right about it. I just don’t want you to know yet. Did you read any of my notes?”

“All I did was play games, Lolo,” Camila assures her, “I know I probably shouldn’t have without your permission, but it’s not like you don’t have my phone and laptop password. Plus my phone is all the way on the other side of the room and I didn’t want to ruin your painting.”

“I… yeah,” Lauren sits back down on the bed and Camila feels warm fingers on her back. “It’s almost dry. I can use my hairdryer to completely dry it, and then we’ll take a few pictures and then you can go in my shower and wash it off. You can borrow some clothes from me while you get dry because dinner is in exactly twenty-six minutes.”

Camila nods. “Okay, go ahead and get the paint dried.”

After a few minutes of Lauren sitting behind her with her hairdryer on full power, her girlfriend finally announces that she’s finished drying the painting. Lauren takes a few pictures, both on hers and Camila’s phones, and then she tells the younger girl that it’s okay to get up.

Camila sits up and stretches, momentarily forgetting that _yeah_ , she’s completely topless. And Lauren is staring again, her bright green eyes wide and her cheeks a vibrant scarlet. Playing it off and not wanting to upset her girlfriend, she crosses over to the mirror and turns around, examining the painting on her back.

Naturally, she can barely form cohesive sentences when she sees it. “This is really good, Lolo. _God_ , you’re so talented. I really don’t want to wash this off.”

“I- um,” Lauren blinks a few times, and Camila notices that her girlfriend’s eyes are still directed at her bare chest. “You’re still- um, topless.”

“I realised,” Camila turns away from Lauren and grabs her shirt, holding it over her chest. “I’ll go shower now, I guess?”

“Yes. I’ll show you how to work it.” Lauren drags her gaze up to meet Camila’s and sends her a small smile, before tugging her towards the bathroom. She shows her how to work the shower and brings her a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, setting them on the side. “You can change into these when you’re finished. I will wait in my bedroom.”

“Okay,” Before Lauren can leave, Camila pulls her in for a hug and kisses her cheek. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

“Yes, you have exactly eighteen minutes until dinner is ready.” Lauren rocks herself backwards and forwards on her heels and kisses Camila properly. “I don’t want to be late for dinner, so- uh, be quick. I’ll be in my room.”

With that, Lauren turns and wanders back into her bedroom, leaving Camila alone in the bathroom. After a quick shower – she scrubs off as much of the paint as she can – Camila changes into Lauren’s hoodie and sweatpants and walks back into her girlfriend’s room, smiling when she sees her sat on her bed, playing with Nala and watching _American Horror Story_.

“You watch this?” Camila asks, and for a few seconds, Lauren’s gaze flicks to meet hers. “I didn’t think you would.”

“I like it.” Lauren answers, patting the spot next to her and signalling Camila to sit down. The younger girl uses the hair tie on her wrist to pull her wet hair into a bun, and then sits next to Lauren on the bed. “It’s interesting. It’s not my favourite show though. That’s _Vampire Diaries_. I watch it with Dinah.”

“I’ve texted my mom, by the way. I told her I’m staying here for dinner.” Camila tells her. “She wanted to know how I’m getting home.”

“I can borrow my mom’s car and drive you.” Lauren tucks Nala under her arm and cuddles up to Camila. “I’m a good driver, I just don’t like driving much. I did it for our dates because they were special occasions and you’re special to me so I think I’ll drive you home.”

“Alright, I’ll let my mom know,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s shoulder and smiles when her girlfriend shuffles closer to her. “Do you want to go downstairs for dinner now? You like being early to things, don’t you.”

“Yes,” Lauren looks up at her with a bright smile, before redirecting her gaze to her feet. “I am happy you remembered that. I like it when you remember things about me.”

“Can I ask you a question?” Camila asks, waiting until Lauren nods to continue. “I know you told me that you don’t like eye contact because it feels like people are looking into your head, but are there any other reasons?”

“It hurts to look in one place for long,” Lauren murmurs, carefully taking hold of Camila’s hand. “It gives me a headache. I don’t like it. I have to look around. My mom used to get really mad at me when I was little because I was bad at eye contact and she- um, she thought it was rude. Even after I was diagnosed she tried her best to- uh, make me do it. She still does. Mostly she’s understanding but she thinks the eye contact thing can be… fixed. Sometimes she wants to fix me. But I’m not broken, so I don’t understand why she needs to do that.”

“You never told me that,” Camila replies with a frown, “I thought your family were supportive.”

“They are,” Lauren responds, tapping her thumb against Camila’s knuckles. “It’s just that- uh, sometimes I think my mom is kind of disappointed. I’ve heard her talking to my dad about how she wishes I was- uh, _normal_. My dad always tells her that I am normal, just in my own way. I’m closer to my dad, he understands me more. My mom wants to tweak things. When I was little she made me go to doctors and therapists because she wanted to make me change. Now she doesn’t, though. She still- um, looks kind of sad sometimes when I do something she doesn’t consider ‘normal’ though, like last time we went on vacation I was stimming during a museum tour and people were staring and she- um... she told me that she was disappointed in my behavior, but I didn't know what I'd done wrong. And she makes me look at her. She means well, but…”

“But it’s still not right,” Camila finishes for her and kisses her girlfriend’s temple. “I’m sorry she’s like that, Lolo. You don’t have to fit some sort of mould to make your mom happy. She should be happy with who you are now. You’re beautiful, intelligent and the sweetest person I’ve ever met, and she should see that.”

“She knows I’m smart,” Lauren proudly replies, “I won an award last year for having the top grades in the school. I’m very smart and my mom knows that. That’s one of the things she’s proud of me for. She loves me, she just wants me to be- um… the social norm. She says it's because she wants what's best for me and she wants me to- uh, fit in.”

Camila sighs and nods towards the door. “Come on. Let’s go downstairs for dinner.”

“Yes, dinner,” Lauren replies and tugs Camila downstairs and towards the dinner table. She sets Camila down in a specific spot, and then settles down in the chair next to her. “This is my usual seat. I always sit here, it’s my spot.”

“I’m guessing that this seat is for guests, then?” Camila asks, frowning when Lauren shakes her head. “Whose is it then?”

“Taylor’s. But she doesn’t mind switching seats with you, because I told her I wanted you to sit next to me.” Lauren explains as her parents start setting the food down on the table. Lauren stays quiet until her siblings and parents have sat down, and then clears her throat. “I have something I want to tell you all.”

“Lauren, look at us when you talk,” Clara reminds her, and Camila feels her blood boil. But she’s not going to get angry, because she doesn’t want to risk getting kicked out. As Lauren drags her gaze up to meet Clara’s, the woman smiles. “Okay. What do you need to tell us?”

“Um, Camila is my girlfriend,” Lauren announces, and puts her fork down to take Camila’s hand, not noticing how her family don’t look very surprised at all. “She has been my girlfriend for almost four months and I- uh, I think she’s very wonderful and she makes me happy.”

“That’s lovely, Lauren,” Mike smiles at her, “None of us were really surprised, but I’m glad you’ve found someone to make you happy.”

“Yeah, she’s hot, too,” Chris adds, and Camila turns bright red. Lauren, on the other hand, scowls at her brother. “What?”

“Don’t be rude to Camzi,” Lauren says, staring down at her and Camila’s hands. “She’s my girlfriend, you’re not allowed to call her hot.”

“I think you two are cute,” Taylor speaks before Chris can defend himself, “and she obviously makes you happy, so I’m here for it.”

“Lauren, look up,” Clara reminds her daughter again, and then meets her gaze with a smile. “I’m happy you’ve found Camila. You’ve definitely been a lot happier these past few months and clearly she has something to do with it.”

“She has everything to do with it,” Lauren looks towards the kitchen door with a smile. “She’s my Camzi.”

After answering Lauren’s family’s questions, Camila is able to spend most of the meal in silence, only contributing to the conversation when asked something. She’s as polite as she possibly can, but it’s incredibly hard not to say something when she hears “Lauren, look at us,” at regular intervals.

Once dinner is finally over and Lauren is putting her shoes on to take her home, Camila turns to her girlfriend and kisses her. “You don’t have to look at me when you talk. Ignore your mom, Lolo.”

“I know. You’re- um, you get it.” Lauren squeezes her hand. “You understand me. You’re one of my soulmates.”

Camila’s stomach flips and she feels like she could sing, those certain three words aching to burst out. “Yeah. We’re soulmates.”

Lauren smiles and puts a hand over Camila’s chest, feeling the younger girl’s pounding heartbeat. “Forever.”

Camila nods, her chocolate brown eyes meeting Lauren's bright emeralds. She opens her mouth to say "I love you."

It comes out as, “Yeah. Forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link to the thing Lauren paints - https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CPn7fY1UcAE5tfn.jpg


	21. Chapter 21

“I will meet you here.” Lauren promises as she leaves her in front of the library. “At four. I’m going to go to art and wait for you, and then we can walk to my house together.”

“Okay, honey,” Camila leans forward and kisses her girlfriend goodbye. “I’ll see you at four. Have fun in art.”

“I will,” Lauren calls behind her, “have fun tutoring.”

Camila doesn’t reply to that, because extra Spanish isn’t something she really needs, but whatever. Helping someone else makes her feel good. Once Lauren is out of sight, Camila heads into the library and takes a seat where she’s visible to anyone who walks in – she doesn’t want Shawn to think she’d decided not to show up at the last moment – and pulls out her phone, deciding to check her social medias as she waits.

She scrolls through Instagram, naturally ending up on Lauren’s page, and she’s in the middle of liking all of her girlfriend’s adorable selfies when she hears someone clear their throat in front of her.

“Hey,” Shawn announces his presence and sits down across from her. “Thanks again for doing this. I really need the help. You’ll see in a minute.”

Camila laughs. “I’m sure you’re not _that_ bad. You wouldn’t have made it into the advanced class if you really sucked.”

“That’s the thing, I was good at the regular class,” Shawn defends himself; apparently he’s set on proving how bad he is. “It’s just that the advanced class is ten times harder.”

“That’s a good thing though, it’s a challenge,” Camila replies, although she doesn’t find their advanced Spanish class hard at all. Mostly because she’s fluent in it, but she keeps that little detail to herself. “You can’t really get _worse_ if that makes you feel any better.”

He laughs and opens up his notebook. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

After she walks him through some grammar she considers to be quite easy and realising that he really _isn’t_ very good, Camila decides to slow it down and go over what he already knows before starting on the new stuff. When she returns to some more complicated things, he has a little bit of an outburst. Thankfully the library nearly empty so there’s not many people to witness it.

“I don’t get this. How the hell do you get this?” Shawn groans and throws his pencil down against the notepad. “Maybe I’ll just drop Spanish. It’d be easier.”

Camila laughs, aware of the weird look he received from the librarian. “It’s not so bad. You’ve just got to go over the grammar as much as you can and eventually it’ll click in your head.”

Shawn sighs. “It doesn’t seem like it’s going to click. And my brain feels like it’s about to explode.”

“That’s exactly how I feel about math, and I have to deal with my best friend Dinah telling me how easy it all is.” Camila replies. Out of all of her friends, Dinah is the last one she suspected to be a secret math genius. Even Lauren admits Dinah’s better at math than her. “Do you want to call it a day then?”

“Yeah,” Shawn nods and closes his notepad and Spanish book. “You’re really good at Spanish, though. How do you make sense of it all?”

“It’s my first language,” Camila shrugs, “I was born in Cuba and lived there until I was six.”

“Damn,” Shawn comments, “I wish it was _my_ first language. Then I wouldn’t have to go through all of this stress. Anyway, same time next week?”

“Yeah, sure,” Camila nods and packs her things away. “You weren’t as bad as you think, though.”

Not waiting for Shawn’s reply, Camila looks up at the clock and realises that it’s nearly four, and Lauren will be arriving to meet her.

“I was still pretty bad, though,” Shawn pulls his backpack over his shoulder and nods to the door. “How are you getting home? Do you need a ride?”

“I’m walking, but I don’t need a ride,” Camila assures him. “I’m not going straight home, anyway.”

“Well, I can give you a ride to wherever you need to be,” He offers, “come on, it’s the least I can do.”

“No, that’s okay,” Camila says, her face breaking out into a smile when she sees Lauren wander into the library, her earphones in. Probably listening to Lana Del Rey. “I’ll have company.”

Shawn opens his mouth to reply, but Lauren cuts him off, pulling her earbuds out and taking Camila’s hand. “Hey, Camz.”

“Hey, Lo,” Camila greets her girlfriend and squeezes her hand. “This is Shawn. I’m tutoring him in Spanish.”

Lauren looks him over, her eyes narrowed, and Camila smiles because jealous Lauren is kind of adorable. “Really? Is he bad at it?”

Before Camila can reply, Shawn sends Lauren a smile and nods. “Yeah. Terrible. And Camila is like, miles ahead of everyone in our class.”

“I’m fluent in Spanish, Camz,” Lauren announces, and Camila assumes she’s probably trying to prove she’s better than Shawn. She’s pretty sure even he can see that she’s jealous. “I’m Cuban like you. Except you’re Cuban-Mexican and I’m Cuban-American.”

“I know you’re Cuban, Lo,” Camila kisses her cheek and squeezes her hand again in assurance. “You’ve told me that. Also Jauregui is a pretty Spanish name.”

Lauren ignores her completely and turns to Shawn again. “I’m Camila’s girlfriend. She’s coming to my house tonight and we’re going to watch _The Lion King 3_.”

“I didn’t know you’d already picked the movie, Lo,” Camila laughs, “But I guess with your _Lion King_ obsession it’s not much of a surprise.”

“You two are together?” Shawn motions between them and waits for both Camila and Lauren to nod. “That’s cool. I wasn’t trying to like, hit on you or anything, Camila. Just thought I’d clarify because your girlfriend is kind of glaring at me.”

“Lauren, don’t glare,” Camila laughs and gives her a quick kiss, “there’s no need to be jealous of Shawn. I’m just his tutor.”

“Yeah, also, I’m gay,” Shawn adds, and neither he nor Camila misses how Lauren seems to brighten up completely. She even smiles at him. “So you really don’t need to worry.”

“Oh, okay,” Lauren replies, opting to look at Shawn’s neck rather than meet his eyes. “I like you, then. You’re purple, and purple is a nice colour. Anyway, Camzi, can we go now? I want to make cookies before we watch _The Lion King._ ”

“Sure, honey,” Camila responds, and Lauren takes that as her cue to pull her away. She calls back a quick, “text me about when you want to study next,” to Shawn, and then she lets her girlfriend tug her out of school and towards her house. “So, what did you do in art for the past hour?”

“I’m recreating the painting I did on your back from the pictures we took.” Lauren says. She seems to slow down, which means that Camila has successfully distracted her from her sprint home. “I spent the hour applying the base coat of paint and making it perfect and then drying it. I’ll add detail in art class on Monday probably. Are you going to sleep over tonight?”

“I don’t think I can, Lo,” Camila apologises. “It’s kind of last minute and my mom is strict about that kind of thing.”

“But- I’m responsible, your mom should trust me because I’ll make sure you get to bed on time. I like to go to bed at ten and read until half past.” Lauren rambles, tapping on her pants with her free hand. “I like routine.”

“I know you’re responsible. It’s me my mom doesn’t trust,” Camila admits, thinking back to the time she’d said she was going to sleep over at Marielle and Sandra’s but had actually gone to her first high school party. Needless to say, impromptu sleepovers had been banned ever since. “I can’t sleep over tonight, baby. I’m sorry.”

“Can I sleep over at yours?” Lauren asks, and Camila thinks that maybe that’s not such a bad idea. “I want to cuddle you tonight because I always sleep really well when you cuddle me.”

“I’ll text my mom and ask. Hopefully she’ll say yes.” Camila smiles when Lauren lets out a satisfied hum and picks up her pace again. “You really want to bake cookies when we get back, Lolo?”

“Yep,” Lauren nods as she virtually skips down the street. “Because it’s pizza night my parents won’t be using the oven to cook, so we can use it to make cookies. We can take some for Sofi, too. If I sleep over at your house.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she’d like that.” Camila agrees, because if anything would get you in Sofi’s good books, it was cookies. And Sofi had already expressed how much she likes Lauren, so Camila is pretty sure that cookies will just win her over more. “My sister really likes you, actually. And she never usually likes anyone I bring home.”

“Why does she like me, then?” Lauren blinks in confusion. “Is it because I make you happy? She told me that you’re always happy because of me. That made me feel warm.”

“I’m sure that counts for part of it, yeah,” Camila’s stomach does a flip and she traces a pattern across Lauren’s knuckles. “I _am_ always happy because of you, Lo. You’re so special to me.”

Lauren pulls her up her driveway and unlocks the front door, tugging Camila inside her house. She leads her through to the kitchen and stops, pointing to the ceiling. “I’m going to get changed. I’ll be a few minutes. Wait here and then- uh, then we can make cookies.”

Camila nods. “Okay, Lolo.”

Camila smiles when Lauren kisses her on the cheek and then darts out of the room. She sits down at the breakfast bar and plays on her phone, not really paying much attention to how much time has passed when she hears her girlfriend’s voice again.

Camila looks up, expecting Lauren to be stood in front of her in pyjamas. That’s what she thought getting changed meant. She didn’t think that getting changed meant a black crop top, shorts and a red flannel that’s tied at the front on top of it all. Nope. That was something she definitely needed warning for.

“Camz?” Lauren’s voice snaps her out of the strange trance like state she was in. “Are you going to help me get the ingredients out for cookies?”

“I-” Camila tears her gaze away from Lauren’s semi-exposed abs and nods. “Yeah, sure, whatever you need.”

Camila gets out the ingredients from the cupboard and Lauren gets out the equipment they need. Naturally, the younger Latina steals as many glances at her girlfriend as she can, wondering what triggered the sudden outfit change but trying not to care, because _holy fuck_ is she enjoying it.

Admittedly, Camila isn’t much help while making the cookies, because she keeps getting distracted by her girlfriend. She’s in the middle of mixing the dough when Lauren runs a hand through her hair and stretches, her abs flexing. And naturally, Camila completely forgets what she’s supposed to be doing and stares at her.

“Um… Camz?” Lauren brings her back to earth again. “You’re supposed to be mixing. Do you want me to do it for you?”

“I- no, it’s fine, Lolo,” Camila is quick to reply, and turns back to the mixing bowl, her cheeks bright red.

“Are you hot?” Lauren presses her, coming to stand next to her. As Camila moves her arm to switch mixing hands, her fingers brush against Lauren’s abs and she goes even redder. “You look hot. I’ll go and turn the heating down.”

With a kiss on the cheek, Lauren turns and leaves the room, and Camila lets out the breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. _Focus on the cookies, Mila_ , she tells herself as she hears her girlfriend’s footsteps, _you love cookies, focus on that._

She’s still mixing the dough when Lauren comes up behind her and wraps her arms around her waist, resting her head on her shoulder. “I think that’s enough stirring. We can divide the dough now and make them into cool shapes.”

Camila isn’t very good at making the cookies into ‘cool shapes’. Mostly because she’s still distracted by Lauren. And handling knives when you’re distracted isn’t a good idea, so she lets Lauren make the cookies into shapes.

She’s not so subtly staring at her girlfriend’s ass when Chris walks into the kitchen and freezes in spot. “Lauren, what the hell are you wearing?”

Lauren spins around on her heels with wide eyes. “Uh… nothing. _No,_ wait, I’m wearing clothes, obviously, just, uh… I got too hot in my sweater. So I took it off.”

Chris’s initial shock wears off and he catches Camila’s eye, laughing. “Oh, I know what you’re trying to do. I’ll leave you girls to it.”

With that, he turns and leaves the room, still laughing to himself.

Lauren blinks in confusion. “What does he think I’m trying to do? All I’m doing is making cookies. Chris is an idiot.”

“I- yeah,” Camila lets out an awkward laugh and takes the cookie tray, putting it in the oven. She sets the timer and nearly jumps out of her skin when Lauren grabs her hand. “Hey.”

“Hello,” It comes out like _hallo_ and Camila has to bite her tongue to stop from awing. “Do you want to go up to my room while we wait for them to cook?”

“Yeah, okay,” Camila lets Lauren lead her upstairs, and she sits down on her girlfriend’s bed, her mind still all over the place, because she really can’t concentrate when Lauren Michelle Jauregui is sitting in front of her dressed like _that_.

Lauren opens her mouth to talk, but she lets out a surprised squeak when Camila leans forward and kisses her. Camila is the one to deepen the kiss, her hands exploring Lauren’s bare waist, and the older girl ends up leaning back against the headboard of her bed, Camila in her lap.

“I don’t know why you got changed,” Camila says between kisses, “but you look so fucking hot right now, Lauren.”

“I- um,” Lauren pulls away and turns her head so Camila can’t cut her off with a kiss. “I’m being sexy.”

Okay, _that_ takes Camila off guard. “What?”

“I’m being sexy,” Lauren repeats herself, leaving Camila just as bewildered. “I see people like Shawn- well, not really like Shawn because he’s not going to flirt with you, he’s gay – but people like Austin, who are flirtatious and sexy. I’m doing that because I can be sexy too. I can look, uh, hot. If I want.”

Camila kisses Lauren again, but this time it’s soft and chaste. “You don’t need to try and be ‘sexy’ for me, Lauren.”

“I _want_ to,” Lauren is quick to reply, “I want to show you that I’m sexy too. And you’re mine, I don’t want you to think that anyone else is hotter than I am. So I’m going to wear this. Because I want to look hot for you. Not just cute.”

“I think you’re both hot and cute and I-” Camila runs a hand through Lauren’s hair and stops herself from letting the three words in her gut from bursting out, because she has no idea if Lauren feels the same way. “You’re hot because… well, look at yourself. That’s why you’re hot. You’re cute because of the way you act. How you’re so gentle and soft and always really sweet to me no matter what.”

“I don’t want to be cute right now.” Lauren says. “I want you to think I’m sexy while we, uh, make out. Is that okay?”

Camila nearly laughs, because she never thought she’d get asked by the person she’s making out with to think of them as _sexy_. And that’s another reason why Lauren is adorable. “Okay. That’s okay.”

Lauren nods and pulls Camila back down, kissing her a lot more firmly than before. As Lauren deepens the kiss, one of her hands slips under Camila’s shirt, the other tracing Camila’s jawline and disappearing into her soft brunette locks. When Lauren’s hand goes under Camila’s bra to cup her breast, the younger girl nearly jumps out of her skin, because she hadn’t been expecting Lauren to be so confident.

“You’re so fucking hot, Lo,” Camila murmurs as Lauren pulls away and starts kissing along her jawline and down her neck.

She feels Lauren’s soft lips on her pounding pulse point, and her hands are inching towards her girlfriend’s shorts, about to undo the button when then timer they’d brought up from the kitchen beeps and they jump apart in shock.

“We should go and get the cookies, I guess.” As Camila turns back to Lauren, her girlfriend’s eyes are wide and trained on a specific spot on her neck. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” Lauren apologises, shuffling away from Camila. “I hurt you.”

Camila blinks in confusion. “You didn’t hurt me, Lo. What are you talking about?”

Lauren points at her neck and keeps her distance, as if she’s afraid a single touch will break her girlfriend. “I hurt you. Look.”

Confused, Camila gets off the bed and walks over to the mirror on Lauren’s dresser, trying to figure out what her girlfriend means. She sweeps her hair behind her, and when her eyes fall on the mark on her neck, she nearly laughs. Lauren had given her a hickey.

“Lauren, oh my god-”

“I hurt you and I’m sorry,” Lauren interrupts her, “Please don’t break up with me, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I didn’t think that would happen and-”

“Lauren, listen to me,” Camila sits down on the bed again and takes her girlfriend’s hands in hers. “You didn’t hurt me. That’s not there because you hurt me. It’s a hickey.”

“A hickey?” Lauren repeats, frowning in confusion. Then, her eyes widen and she glances at Camila’s neck again. “I read about those. Does that mean- uh, that I made another step? Physically?”

“Yes,” Camila confirms, kissing Lauren again, “You made another step. Now we should really go and deal with the cookies. We don’t want them to burn.”

Lauren snaps out of whatever trance she was in and nods. “Yes, the cookies. Come on then.”

Camila makes sure to position her hair so the hickey isn’t visible and follows Lauren down the stairs. Their cookies are slightly burnt when they get them out of the oven, but Camila doesn’t care, because her girlfriend seems ridiculously proud of herself as she places them on a cooling rack.

And Camila is fairly certain it’s not the cookies she’s proud of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> outfit Lauren wears is here - http://66.media.tumblr.com/6e43133a9f8f114d941fe83aa73bcb0a/tumblr_inline_nhruxd0GEo1rf5fu1.gif


	22. Chapter 22

Lauren clutches onto Camila's hand as she follows her friends through the shopping mall. She doesn't really know where they're going – she hopes it's somewhere quiet – and she's not really paying much attention, because her friends' words are getting tangled into conversations with people passing by, and this is why Lauren really hates the mall. She didn't even want to come, but her friends had told her that Camila was going and that they would be heading back to Ally's later to bake, and Lauren really likes baking at Ally's.

She just really, really hates the mall.

They go into a makeup store that's incredibly cramped because of a sale that's on, and it makes Lauren nervous because people she doesn't know are getting too close and she hates it. She doesn't say anything though, because her friends are happy and smiling and she doesn't want to ruin it.

"Hey, Lolo," Camila's soft voice gives her something to focus on, "Can I do your makeup one day?"

"Makeup itches," Lauren voices her train of thought and touches a hand to her face. "It itches and it's bad and I only wear it if I have to do something important."

"You didn't answer my question, baby," Camila reminds her, and Lauren realises that she's right. "Can I do your makeup one day?"

"Um," Lauren bites down on her lip and taps her fingers against Camila's knuckles. "I don't know. Maybe if we have to do something important I will let you put makeup on me. But it itches."

"Alright. Maybe if we go to a fancy dinner one day." Camila squeezes her hand and turns back to the shelves full of makeup, and Lauren lets out a sad whine because now her distraction is gone and everything is starting to flood back into her head. Camila picks up on it. "You want my attention, honey?"

Lauren nods. "Yes. It's too, uh... crowded. I can't concentrate."

"Go and wait outside the store for me. I'll be a few minutes, I just need to buy some mascara," Camila kisses Lauren's cheek and lets go of her hand, and Lauren grabs on again, because she doesn't want to go by herself. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to go alone," Lauren looks towards the door apprehensively, aware of the people crowded around the racks of makeup by it. "There's too many people."

Camila nods and tugs her towards Normani, handing the other girl the mascara she wants and a ten dollar bill. "Can you get this for me? I need to take Lauren outside."

Normani nods and sends Lauren a comforting smile, which she appreciates. Then, Camila pulls her towards the door, muttering an _excuse me_ to the people blocking it. While it's slightly quieter outside the store, the mall itself is still busy, and busy always equals loud.

Camila leads Lauren over to one of the benches that generally only occupies old people and sits her down. "Is this better?"

"A little bit." Lauren mumbles, burying her face into Camila's neck. "It's so loud. I hate the mall."

"Why'd you come along, then?" Camila asks, and Lauren shivers when her girlfriend's fingers start combing through her messy hair. "You didn't have to come if you didn't want to."

"You're here. Ally told me you'd be coming when she texted me, and then you said in the group chat that you're coming." Lauren replies, not sure why Camila doesn't understand that. "I wanted to be here because you're here and I want to spend time with you."

"Aw, Lo," Camila kisses her on the top of her head, "We can do other things together. You didn't have to come somewhere you know you hate."

"I want to do things together with our friends." Lauren replies, tapping out a pattern on her leg. "Our friends like shopping and it makes them happy so I said I'd come. And then- uh, then we're going to go back to Ally's to bake, and I want to help bake."

"We could've picked you up afterwards." Camila points out, and Lauren frowns, because she hadn't been given that option before. "You didn't have to come to the mall. I could take you home if you want?"

"But- um, we all came in Ally's car." Lauren protests, not sure how Camila would take her home. "And I don't want to go home, I want to go to Ally's and bake."

"Okay, well... you and I could go around a few stores you like." Camila offers, and Lauren has to admit that she likes that idea. Maybe she can buy a new sweater. "We can always do something quiet, too. We could go for a walk outside?"

"I think we should go in shops." Lauren drums on her leg. "Will you tell the girls we're going to some stores that are quieter?"

"Okay, Lo," Camila pulls her phone from her pocket, "I'll text the group chat and let them know."

Lauren's phone buzzes against her leg and she laughs, because it always tickles when it does that. She pulls it out from her pocket and reads over the message Camila sent to the group chat.

**_Camz <3 (1:34PM): lolo isn't feeling very well so we're gonna go and look in a few stores she likes and we'll catch up 2 u guys when she feels better_ **

**_Manibear (1:35PM): Okay we'll text you where we are_ **

"Alright, that's taken care of," Camila slides her phone back into her pocket and pulls Lauren up from the bench, "what's a store you like going in?"

"Um... I like Brandy Melville. A lot of my shirts are from there. And- um, I like H&M." Lauren swings her and Camila's hands as they walk. "I like stores where I can buy sweaters at, too. I get them in the men's section a lot of the time, like the one I'm wearing now was from the men's."

Camila looks down at Lauren's _Star Wars_ sweater and smiles. "Do you like _Star Wars_ , Lo?"

"It's interesting." Lauren replies, nodding her head. "I like it because it's like a different world and I don't like this world much sometimes because people are- um... they're mean."

"Has someone been mean to you recently?" Camila asks, and her grip on Lauren's hand tightens. Lauren squeezes her girlfriend's hand back, because she knows that makes Camila smile. "Who was it? What did they say?"

The questions all knot together in Lauren's head and she closes her eyes, trying her best to untangle them. "Nobody said anything bad to me directly. It was- um, it was in biology class. And we were talking about... like, different mental health conditions and disorders. We got onto the topic of how mental health was a lot more misunderstood a few decades ago and then the teacher... uh, used autism as an example."

"An example?" Camila blinks in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"She said that- um... that maybe if we were still in the eighties, I wouldn't be..." Lauren bites down on her lip and sniffles, not wanting to recall the memory. "She said that I'd be locked up. Well, not me specifically, but... autistic people. I don't want to be locked up, Camz, I don't want to think about other people like me getting locked up because apparently in some places it can still happen. I don't-"

"Lauren, oh my god," Camila pulls Lauren aside and carefully hugs her. Lauren feels her girlfriend's lips on her temple and it calms her down a lot. She loves it when Camila does that. "Nobody is going to lock you up, Lo. Your biology teacher was giving an example and she probably didn't even know it would freak you out, but that's still not an excuse. Nobody is going to hurt you, baby. Not on my watch."

The four letter word that's bursting to come out nearly does, but Lauren swallows it, because she's not sure if it's the right time yet and if Camila feels the same way. She can never be sure. "You'll protect me."

"Yeah, that's right." Camila nods against her. "Forever."

"Forever." Lauren repeats, pulling away from Camila and nodding towards the closest clothes store. "Can we go in there? I want to look at the sweaters."

Camila laughs and takes hold of Lauren's hand again. "Okay. Sure. I'll buy you a sweater."

"No," Lauren is quick to object, because Camila bought her records and she hasn't bought her anything yet, and she doesn't think that's fair. "You bought me records, remember? You can't buy me a sweater too."

"I can do whatever the hell I like, Lauren Michelle," Camila taps her on the end of the nose and Lauren blinks in surprise. "If I want to buy my cuddly girlfriend an equally as cuddly sweater, then I will."

"But I- don't call me Lauren Michelle," Lauren replies, tapping against her pants with her free hand. "I only get called Lauren Michelle when I'm in trouble."

"Well, you're in trouble, then," Camila easily replies, and Lauren is terrified because she doesn't know what she's done wrong. "You're in trouble for being so stubborn and not telling me buy you a sweater."

"I'm sorry," Lauren apologises, "I didn't mean to upset you. You can buy me a sweater if you want."

"You didn't upset me, Lolo," Camila assures her as they walk into the store; Lauren makes a beeline for the sweaters. "I just wanted you to let me do something nice for you."

"You can buy me a sweater if you want." Lauren repeats, distracted by looking through the racks. Someone bumps against her and she recoils, practically falling into Camila, and her girlfriend is quick to catch her. "Sorry."

"No need to apologise, honey," Camila promises, helping her flick through the rack full of sweaters. "Have you seen one you like yet?"

"Um..." Lauren pulls a navy blue sweater out from the rack and holds it out to Camila. "This one."

"Lo," Camila pauses to laugh, "that's an XXL. Surely that's _too_ big, isn't it? There's one just like it in medium and that'll fit, but double XL? You're tiny compared to that."

Lauren hums in thought and picks out the medium sized one, frowning at it. "I need to try it on first."

"Okay, we'll go to the fitting rooms and you can try it on." Camila takes Lauren's hand and leads her towards the fitting rooms, and Lauren really doesn't like fitting rooms, because they're cramped and scary and anyone could see her.

Camila walks her into the fitting room on the end and hangs the sweater up on the hook. "I'll be waiting just outside for you."

"No," Lauren stops her and grabs her wrist. "Stay in here with me. I don't like it in here alone. My mom always stays with me when we go shopping."

"Okay," Camila nods and pulls the curtain shut, sitting down on the little stool in the corner of the cubicle they're in. "Go ahead and try it on, Lo."

Lauren taps against her pants leg nervously and then lifts up the hem of the sweater she's already wearing, pulling it over her head. She folds it up and places it on Camila's lap, and then puts the other sweater on, the tag scratching the back of her neck. "Does it look okay?"

Camila puts Lauren's _Star Wars_ sweater to one side and stands up, leaning forward and kissing her. Lauren's belly performs multiple somersaults as she kisses Camila back, and she keeps her eyes closed when the younger Latina pulls away. "It looks adorable. You look adorable."

"Thank you, Camzi," Lauren squeezes her girlfriend's wrist and changes back into her sweater, putting the other one back on the hanger. "I would like this one, please. Are you sure you're okay with buying me it?"

"Positive." Camila assures her as they leave the fitting room. "You can buy me a t-shirt or something if you want."

"Yes, that way I will be able to repay you," Lauren nods and kisses Camila's cheek as they walk to the checkout. As the woman behind the counter scans the sweater, Lauren smiles and announces. "My girlfriend is buying that for me."

The woman smiles. "That's nice of her."

"Yes, it is, she's wonderful," Lauren gushes, tapping on the counter, "Camila is the best girlfriend ever and I want to be with her forever."

As the woman bags the sweater and gives Camila her change, she smiles. "You two have a nice day. You're a cute couple."

"Thank you," Lauren says, and Camila has to pull her away so the next people can buy what they want, "you have a nice day too!"

"You're so sweet, Lo," Camila squeezes Lauren's hand, "Thanks for saying all of those lovely things to that lady."

"You're welcome," Lauren beams and Camila throws an arm around her shoulder as they leave the store. "I was just telling her the truth, though. You _are_ wonderful."

"And _you_ are adorable," Camila kisses her cheek as Lauren pulls her into another store. "Why are we going in here, Lo?"

"I want to buy you a snapback." Lauren decides, tugging her through the aisles until she comes to a stop in front of a rack of snapbacks. She picks up a pink floral one and places it on Camila's head. "I think this one looks good. Do you like it?"

Camila moves to look in the mirror, and she has to admit that Lauren has picked one she likes. "Yeah, I like it. Go on then, you can buy this for me."

Lauren takes the snapback from her and walks over to the guy behind the checkout. "I would like to buy this for my girlfriend."

The boy raises an eyebrow. "Girlfriend?"

"Yes, girlfriend." Lauren grabs Camila's hand. "She's my girlfriend."

The boy snorts. "She's a bit of a bad girlfriend if her idea of a date is taking you out to a shitty mall. You should give me your number and I'll take you out on a proper date."

"I don't like you," Lauren decides out loud, and she swears she hears Camila supressing a giggle. "Can we just pay for this and leave?"

The boy seems a little different when Lauren looks up. "Uh... yeah, sure."

Once he hands Lauren their change, she stops before turning to leave. "I would say thank you usually, but I don't think you're very good at your job. You're not supposed to be mean to your customers. Bye."

With that, Lauren walks out of the shop with a happy smile, proud that she's bought her girlfriend a present.

"That was- you were really good at making him stop flirting, Lo," Camila laughs, "anyway, do you want me to put the snapback on now?"

"Yeah," Lauren gets the hat out of the bag it's in, and then stuffs the free plastic bag inside the one carrying her new sweater. Then, she puts it on her girlfriend, making it face backwards instead of forwards, because she remembers that's what all of the cool people used to do when they were little. "You look really pretty."

"Thanks, Lolo," Camila kisses her girlfriend's cheek and smiles. "You're too sweet to me."

"I feel better now after shopping with you." Lauren announces, because she's not been thinking about how loud it is at all. All she's been thinking about is buying something nice for Camila. "We can go and find the girls now. I feel better."

"Okay," Camila nods and texts the group chat to find out where the girls are. After a few minutes of waiting, Ally replies and tells them they're in the food court, so Lauren and Camila head up.

Lauren doesn't like the food court at all, because there's too many people in there. There's a lot of little kids, and while Lauren is mostly good with kids because she spends a lot of time with Dinah's family, she doesn't like it when kids are loud. And the kids that are in the food court are shouting for their mothers to buy them French fries and Lauren's head starts to cloud up again because it's so loud and all of the different smells from the different food chains are mixing together and it's making her want to throw up.

Camila sits her down at a table with the rest of the girls, not noticing that she's upset, and sends her a warm smile. "Do you want McDonald's, Lolo?"

Lauren whimpers, because she can't make the words come out, and eventually settles on a nod. She closes her eyes to filter out visual stimuli, because all of the different colours in the mall are blending together to make a horrible orange that burns her eyes and it's giving her a headache. She hums to herself, really wishing that she had Nala, and she feels even worse when Camila takes her hand and starts leading her somewhere.

She's a little surprised when everything starts fading away, and she opens her eyes again to find that they're by the elevators to the parking lot. She meets Camila's gaze for a moment and then looks away, because she doesn't know why Camila has brought her here.

"Dinah is going to finish off her fries and then the girls are going to meet us here." Camila explains, her voice quiet. "We're going to go to a McDonald's drive through on the way back to Ally's and we're going to eat there."

Lauren taps out a pattern against her pants leg and nods. "Okay. Why are we going there? I thought we were eating here."

"Lauren, obviously you wouldn't be able to spend more than five minutes in that food court without going into sensory overload, and that's the last thing we want." Camila points out, and Lauren swallows the lump in her throat. "So we're going to go back to Ally's and have McDonald's, and then we'll bake together. That'll be fun, won't it?"

"Um... yes. That'll be fun." Lauren nods, but she isn't sure if her friends are really okay with leaving. "I'm excited to bake."

"Me too," Camila squeezes Lauren's hand as the other girls arrive, and they head off to Ally's car, Lauren in a much better mood than before, because they're leaving the mall and she hates the mall.

As Camila promised, they head to McDonald's first, and Lauren insists on paying for her girlfriend's Big Mac as well as her own chicken nuggets, her reasoning being that the sweater Camila bought for her cost more than the snapback. That, and Dinah had snatched the money out of her hand while Lauren and Camila were mid-argument about who got to pay.

Once they're back at Ally's, Lauren has completely forgotten about how bad her day had been going, because she has her girlfriend and she has chicken nuggets, and they're going to bake later, so she doesn't mind that earlier was bad.

She finishes her food quickly and then decides to be organised and get out all of the things they'll need to bake cupcakes. Lauren decides that she wants vanilla, because sometimes things are _too_ chocolatey and it makes her feel sick, so she doesn't bother getting any cocoa powder out of the cupboard. She makes sure to preheat the oven – one time they'd had a baking day and completely forgotten to do that – and then sits on the kitchen counter to wait for her friends.

Normani is the first to join her in the kitchen. "Hey, Lo. How was your little shopping detour with Mila?"

"She bought me a sweater," Lauren points to her torso, because she'd changed into her new sweater so Camila can see how much she likes it. "And I bought her a snapback. It was good, she made me calm down. And then she took me out of the food court because she knew I was upset. I lo-"

"I know you do," Normani interrupts her, "but don't tell me that. She needs to be the first person you actually _say_ it to. I know you told me over text, but still. She needs to be the first to hear it."

"I will tell her when it feels right." Lauren replies, drumming on the counter. "I told her I want to tell her something and she told me to tell her when it feels right, but I don't know how to tell when the right time is."

Normani smiles at her. "You'll figure it out, Lo."

Lauren opens her mouth to reply, but she's cut off by a laugh that's followed by her girlfriend's voice.

"Cheechee, _no_ , you're not showing her that!" Camila darts into the kitchen behind Dinah and tries to grab the other girl's phone. "Stop it!"

"No way, Chancho," Dinah laughs again and holds her phone up to Lauren, showing her a picture of a small girl who looks a lot like Camila mid-fall. The perfect action shot of Camila's every day klutziness. "Look at fetus Camila doing what she does best. I found it on her mom's Facebook."

"I still can't believe you added my _mom_ on Facebook," Camila replies, sighing when Lauren takes the phone with a smile. "And I can't believe she _accepted_ you."

"This is cute, Camz," Lauren smiles, showing the picture to Normani, "you're really clumsy so it's funny. You trip over nothing sometimes."

"It's not my fault that gravity hates me." Camila defends herself. "I swear, it has some sort of vendetta against me. I don't know what I did."

Her friends laugh, but Lauren doesn't really get what's so funny. She doesn't understand what Camila said at all, but she forces out a laugh too, because her girlfriend had always told her that she's the only one who laughs at her jokes, but if other people were laughing then it must be a really funny joke that she just doesn't get.

She doesn't think about it when Ally comes into the room and gets started on the baking, giving them each individual jobs to do. Aside from Dinah, Dinah just gets told to watch, because the last time they'd baked together, Dinah had nearly burned the house down because she'd found a perfect selfie opportunity and didn't want to waste it.

Lauren gets her job done almost immediately and then decides that she's going to help Camila, who is busy helping Ally. "Hi, Camz. I'm going to help you."

"I think I'm good actually, Lo," Camila turns around and sends her a fleeting smile, "but if I need any help I'll let you know."

Lauren pouts. "But I want to help."

"You can help me take selfies, Ralph," Dinah pats the spot next to her on the kitchen counter. "Come on, we can take cute pics together."

"Okay," Lauren kisses Camila's cheek and heads over to Dinah, sitting on the counter next to her. "Is it annoying that Ally won't let you help?"

Dinah shrugs, snapping a few pictures at different angles. "Not really. I get to snap everything. That's my job."

Lauren is about to reply, but Camila walks over with Ally's mixing spoon. "We're done with this. Do you want to eat all the mixture off? Usually I would, but Ally told me you like licking the spoon."

Lauren beams. "Yeah. Thanks, Camzi."

"You're welcome, honey," Camila leans up and kisses her before turning and walking back to Ally and Normani.

Lauren starts getting the mixture off the spoon, happy that Camila decided to give it to her, when Dinah slings an arm around her shoulder and snaps a picture. "Oh, this is a perfect selfie. This is going on Instagram. Thanks, Lo."

Mumbling around the spoon, Lauren nods. "You're welcome."

Her phone buzzes in her pocket and she pulls it out, surprised when Dinah has texted the group chat with their selfie.

**_DJ (3:13PM): Hey yo Walz look at your cute af girlfriend and best friend_ **

Lauren watches as Camila pulls her phone out of her pocket, sees the message, sends Dinah an eye roll and looks back to her phone.

**_Camz <3 (3:14PM): yeah lauren looks so cute doesn't she, idk who that is next 2 her tho_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (3:14PM): That's Dinah, Camzi. :)_ **

**_Manibear (3:15PM): Lo you're too cute and Mila you're too #savage4this_ **

**_Camz <3 (3:15PM): don't mock me "manibear"_ **

**_DJ (3:15PM): Fight fight fight_ **

**_Allycat (3:16PM): As much as I enjoy friendly banter, can we get back to baking now???_ **

**_DJ (3:16PM): Sure mom what do you need help with_ **

**_Camz <3 (3:17PM): ally's right we should bake_ **

**_Camz <3 (3:17PM): p.s. lauren ur a cutie :)_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (3:17PM): Thanks, Camz. <3_ **

**_DJ (3:17PM): Disgusting_ **

"Why do you always say that?" Lauren asks Dinah once her friends are back to baking. "That Camz and I are disgusting?"

"Because you're so cute together that it makes me want to puke," Dinah replies with a laugh. "In a good way. I'm really glad you've found someone like Mila, Lo. I can tell you both care about each other a lot."

"Yes, we do," Lauren nods and taps against the kitchen counter. "I want her to be my girlfriend forever."

Dinah grins. "I'm sure she will be. You guys are the cutest."

"Yes," Lauren agrees, looking over at Camila, who is flicking as much flour at Normani as she can. "The cutest."


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for implied emotional abuse.

“I’m starting to think that maybe we have too many sleepovers.” Camila says as she pulls Lauren down to cuddle her. “My sister thinks you’re moving in.”

“I wish I was moving in, because that would mean I’d get to spend all my time with you and that’d be fun,” Lauren admits, snuggling up next to her. Camila feels that word try to burst out of her again and swallows it. “I like spending time with you.”

Camila laughs and kisses her girlfriend’s cheek. “Yeah. Me too. Is it okay if I give you a little makeover tonight, Lo?”

Lauren blinks in confusion. “A makeover?”

“Yeah.” Camila replies, ruffling her girlfriend’s hair. “I can do your hair and makeup. I think it’ll be fun. It’ll be like the time you painted my back, except because I don’t have any artistic ability, I’ll be doing something I’m good at. Makeup.”

“I…” Lauren looks anywhere but Camila and shrugs, “I only wear makeup on special occasions. Do we have to go somewhere special after this?”

“No, Lo,” Camila shakes her head, “I just think I’d be fun to do.”

“Okay. I guess.” Lauren shrugs and taps on her leg. “But makeup itches so I won’t keep it on for too long after you’re done. Because it’s distracting.”

“Alright,” Camila nods and gets off the bed to get her makeup supplies from her dresser. “Sit up, Lolo.”

“Oh, we’re doing it now?” Lauren sits up and watches as Camila gets all of her makeup out and then grabs a pair of hair straighteners for good measure. “Why are you getting those?”

“Because I’m doing your hair and I want to see what it would look like straight.” Camila explains, plugging her straighteners in and leaving them to heat up. Then, she sits down in front of Lauren again and opens up her concealer, making sure to put a light amount on when she notices Lauren cringing.

She makes sure to kiss her girlfriend on the top of her head before she starts with the foundation, trying to get it done as quickly as she can. She notices how Lauren scrunches her nose up and closes her eyes as Camila brushes the foundation across her face, and she finds it incredibly hard not to grab her and kiss her, because she looks absolutely adorable.

Once she’s finished with that, she picks up her eyeliner and shifts a little closer to her girlfriend, sending Lauren a comforting smile when she stares at it apprehensively. “Don’t worry, Lo. I’m not going to stab you in the eye with a pencil.”

“I don’t-” Lauren taps on her leg. “I don’t like that. It feels weird when Mani puts it on me, I know. I don’t like people going near my eyes, I don’t want them to poke me by accident.”

“I won’t poke you in the eye, Lolo,” Camila assures her, brushing her girlfriend’s hair back with her hand. “Just stay still, okay?”

“I… uh, okay,” Lauren nods, and Camila can practically _feel_ the awkwardness radiating off her girlfriend as she does her eyeliner.

When she finishes with that, she gets her mascara out and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “You’re doing really well so far, honey.”

“Yes,” Lauren fiddles with her fingers and looks anywhere but Camila. “Are you nearly finished?”

“Almost,” Camila assures her, “I need to do your mascara and then put on some lipstick. I’ve never put lipstick on anyone else before, so I’m sorry if I make you look like Miranda Sings.”

“That’s okay,” Lauren taps out a pattern on Camila’s thigh. “You’re going to make me pretty.”

“You’re already pretty, baby,” Camila kisses her forehead and then readies the mascara, “Look up, Lo.”

Instead of looking upwards, Lauren looks her in the eye, and Camila realises that when she hears ‘look up’ she associates it with ‘look at me’.

“Hi,” Lauren murmurs, and Camila can tell she’s trying her hardest to maintain eye contact. “I’m looking at you.”

“I don’t mean like that,” Camila laughs and squeezes her girlfriend’s hand, “Look up to the ceiling, baby girl. That’s what I meant.”

“Oh,” Lauren blinks in confusion and looks up properly, and Camila stops herself from kissing her. “Is this okay?”

“That’s perfect.” Camila nods. She starts applying the mascara to Lauren’s eyelashes and frowns when her girlfriend whimpers and pulls away. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t like that.” Lauren points to the mascara. “It’s too close to my eyes and I want it to go away. It all itches, I don’t like makeup.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip in thought. “If you’ll let me, I’ll do your other eye as quickly as I can, and we’ll just skip the lipstick. Then I’ll take a photo of you and you can take it off. Okay?”

Lauren looks at her for a moment, her eyes wide and her hands tapping rapidly against Camila’s legs. “Okay. I will let you finish it quickly. And then you can take a picture.”

“Thank you, Lo,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand and tries her best to apply the mascara as quickly as she can. Then, she grabs all of her makeup supplies and puts them back on her dresser, aware of how messy it is. Her eyes land on something and she turns around to Lauren again. “I forgot about the straighteners. Are you okay with me straightening your hair, or do you want to forget about it?”

“Um…” Lauren pauses in thought and shrugs. “Okay. I like my hair wavy though, so you can fix it afterwards.”

“Yeah, I’ll fix it afterwards.” Camila agrees, grabbing her straighteners and positioning herself behind Lauren, realising that she’ll probably need to brush Lauren’s hair first.

As gently as she can, she runs a comb through her girlfriend’s messy hair, smiling to herself when Lauren informs her that she’s “doing it right.” When she puts the brush down, Lauren whines in protest. “I wanted you to keep going. That was nice.”

“I’ve got to straighten it now, Lo,” Camila laughs, setting to work. “Your hair is really soft.”

“Yes, I use a special conditioner.” Lauren tells her. “It smells like coconuts. I like the smell of coconuts but I don’t really like the taste. Is that weird?”

“No, that’s not weird. I’m the same way.” Camila replies, her heart performing some sort of weird leap when Lauren smiles to herself and murmurs “we’re the same”. “My shampoo and conditioner is strawberry scented.”

“Yes, and you wear a perfume that kind of smells like strawberries too, but you never wear too much, which is good because I hate it when someone is wearing too much perfume around me.” Lauren rambles, absentmindedly grabbing Nala and fiddling with her. “It makes me feel sick when someone wears too much perfume. But you don’t do that, you’re good.”

Camila doesn’t reply, she just listens as Lauren sings to herself while Camila works on straightening her hair. Lauren has sung nearly half of a Lana Del Rey album when Camila announces that she’s finished, and the older Latina pulls away from her and runs a hand through her hair, frowning to herself.

“It feels different.” Lauren announces, continuing to play with her hair. “I think I’ll let you do my hair more often, because that was really relaxing. It feels strange, though. It’s straight, I’m not used to that. It reminds me of when I got my hair cut, because my hair used to be really long but then I cut it and it took a lot of getting used to.”

Camila takes her girlfriend in as she turns around to look at her, and she has to admit that with the winged eyeliner accentuating her bright green eyes and how her hair looks incredibly soft and silky, if she ran into this Lauren on the street, she’d probably be intimidated.

Sometimes she forgets it because of how cute she is, but Lauren is _hot_. And Camila is being reminded of that fact right now.

“You look really good, Lo,” Camila breathes out, kissing her girlfriend and pointing towards the mirror. “Go look.”

Lauren gets up and walks over to the mirror, and Camila can see her frowning at herself. “I look older. Like I’d be- um, in college. Or something.”

“You look _intimidating_ ,” Camila tells her, “and badass.”

“I thought I was already badass.” Lauren turns around to Camila and blinks in surprise. “You already told me I was a badass.”

“I know, you just look _more_ badass now.” Camila clarifies, squeezing her girlfriend’s hand. “Like someone that I’d be too scared to approach because I think they’re too cool for me.”

“I already _am_ too cool for you, Camz.” Lauren replies, still looking herself over in the mirror. For a moment, Camila is shocked, because that sounds a lot like sarcasm. “I was joking, by the way. I was trying to be sarcastic.”

“No, I thought it sounded sarcastic, I was just a little surprised,” Camila assures her, “I wasn’t expecting you to use sarcasm.”

“I told you I can.” Lauren finally turns back around and sits down on the bed. “I just don’t get it when other people do it, but if I’m doing it I know I’m being sarcastic. Anyways, I think I like this look. The makeup itches but it makes me look older.”

“You can go and take the makeup off, if you want.” Camila gestures towards the bathroom. “You can wash your hair in my shower and when you come out it’ll be back to normal. Wet, but back to normal.”

“I think I will stay like this for a little while.” Lauren decides, shifting to glance at herself in the mirror again. “Until the itching is too much. That’s what I did on our date, I wore makeup and ignored the itching as much as I could. Except that time Manibear did my makeup, not you.”

“It was really good of her to help you get ready.” Camila comments. “If I’d known we were enlisting friends, I would’ve made Dinah help me. Then again, she got a lot of texts about how amazing you are at the end of the night, so… I guess she did help, in a way.”

“But not really, because she told Mani and Ally everything you said.” Lauren points out. “And me, eventually. Like how you think I have a nice butt.”

Camila blushes. “Yeah, uh… that wasn’t supposed to reach your ears. But whatever, it’s not like I’m mad at Dinah for telling you. It made you smile, so… my embarrassment is worth it.”

“You can always tell me the things you like about me after our dates.” Lauren offers, looking down at her feet. “I won’t tell anyone else the things you said because- um, I’m good at keeping secrets.”

“I bet you are.” Camila nods and tries to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. “Actually, I have something to tell you.”

Lauren blinks in confusion. “Oh, okay. What is it?”

“Well, I-” Camila bites down on her bottom lip and takes Lauren’s hand. “Lo, can you look at me? Just for a few minutes.”

Lauren drags her gaze up to meet Camila’s. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I just really wanted you to look at me while I say this so you know I mean it.” Camila replies. She sucks in a deep breath and the words that have been aching to get out finally do. “Lauren Michelle Jauregui, I’m completely in love with you and I’ve been holding that in for far too long.”

“You’re in love with me?” Lauren blinks in shock and looks around the room, fiddling with her fingers. “Really?”

“Really,” Camila confirms, kissing Lauren’s cheek. “You don’t have to say it back if you’re not sure yet, I just needed you to know that.”

“No, Camz-” Lauren gets out, her eyes as wide as saucers. “I’m in love with you too. I just didn’t think that you- um, that you’d fall in love with me.”

Camila feels like she could _sing_ with joy, but the last half of Lauren’s confession concerns her. “Why didn’t you think that I’d fall in love with you, Lo?”

“I- um… I just didn’t think that you’d- that you’d stick around. Not that I don’t trust you, I-” Lauren cuts herself off and taps on her leg with her fingers. “I told a few people like Mani and Lucy over text that I love you and they were really supportive but then I spoke to… I spoke to my mom about it.”

Camila tenses. “What did she say?”

“She told me that- um, that it was sweet that I thought that, but- um, that you might not feel the same.” Lauren starts, looking anywhere but Camila. “She said that you- uh, you might like me but that love is a different thing and that maybe you wouldn’t ever feel that for me. Because I’m… she said because you might find someone like… like you. And that’s why I was worried when you were talking to Shawn, before I found out he’s gay. Because- uh, I didn’t want you to leave me for someone like you because you didn’t love me.”

Camila pulls Lauren in for a hug, holding her girlfriend as tightly as she can, trying to convey how she feels without words. “I love you, Lauren. So fucking much. What your mom said to you is bullshit, and she should never have put that in your head in the first place. I’m so angry at her, she needs to fucking learn that you’re never going to become the ‘perfect’ daughter she wants, because she already _has_ a perfect daughter in front of her. I’m sorry your mom is such a fucking jerk, Lo.”

“My mom loves me.” Lauren frowns to herself. “Don’t talk about her like that. She loves me and she just- um, she wants what’s best for me. She doesn’t understand sometimes that I think different and that’s why she says things like that. But she still loves me.”

“She’s not really acting like she loves you, though.” Camila points out. “Honestly, the things she says to you are borderline emotionally abusive. She basically implied that I wouldn’t love you because you’re autistic, and that’s fucked up.”

“She… she did?” Lauren blinks in confusion and Camila can see the tears in her eyes. “Really? But- she’s supposed to- my mom loves me. Why would she say that if she loves me?”

“I don’t know, baby,” Camila replies as Lauren buries her face in her neck. “I don’t know. Maybe you should talk to her. I’ll be there with you if you want me to be.”

“Yes. I will talk to her and I want you to be there.” Lauren sniffles and wraps her arms around Camila’s waist. “I will ask her why she says bad things if she loves me. Because my mom loves me, I know she does. She tells me, and she watches _The Lion King_ with me whenever I ask. My mom loves me even though I’m different to Chris and Taylor.”

“That still shouldn’t be something you have to reassure yourself of, Lo.” Camila points out, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “You’re perfect the way you are and your mom should see that.”

“She used to get mad at me a lot when I was little.” Lauren admits, tapping on her leg. “My dad would stop her from shouting, but- uh, she used to get mad. She doesn’t get mad anymore, I already told you that. She just looks sad sometimes.”

Camila traces three circles on Lauren’s palm. “Why did she get mad?”

“Because, uh, I wasn’t- um, I wasn’t _normal_.” Lauren says, her voice barely a whisper. “She would get upset if I went into sensory overload in public because- um, I was _showing her up_. And she would call me rude sometimes even if I didn’t know what I’d done. One time she got really upset and told me she wishes I was never born, but- um, she apologised for that afterwards. It was after that she stopped getting mad, because I didn’t talk to her for a month.”

“I’m glad you didn’t speak to her after that.” Camila replies, tangling her fingers in Lauren’s hair. “She doesn’t deserve your attention after saying something like that. I know she’s your mom, but if she says things like that then you shouldn’t speak to her.”

“I felt bad for not talking to her because she kept telling me she was sorry and that she loves me. Because she does.” Lauren explains, tapping against Camila’s waist. “She told me that I- um, I needed to understand that it was hard on her too… because I can be hard to handle sometimes. That’s what she said. She said that it’s hard for my family sometimes because of how I act. Because I’m different. That’s why I believed her when she said you might not fall in love with me. Because she’s right, I can be difficult to be around and-”

“Lauren, you’re never difficult to be around. You’re so unbelievably easy to be around and to love.” Camila runs her hands through Lauren’s hair and cups her girlfriend’s face, kissing her as softly as she can. “You’re perfect. Your mind is perfect, your way of thinking is perfect, the way you act is perfect. Everything about you is perfect and I’m hopelessly in love with you. I never want you to change.”

Lauren looks at her for a moment, insecurity written all over her face. “It’s not hard on you?”

“It’s not hard on me.” Camila confirms, kissing her girlfriend’s forehead. “If anything, this is the easiest relationship ever. I can tell what you’re feeling based on what stim you’re using, you’re so honest and you’re so unbelievably affectionate and I don’t know what I did to deserve you. You’re a blessing, Lauren Michelle Jauregui.”

Lauren looks at her like she’s just seen the most amazing thing in the world. “I’m a blessing?”

“A blessing.” Camila nods, letting out a small _hmph_ in surprise when Lauren kisses her. “Especially when you do that.”

“I think you’re an angel.” Lauren murmurs, fiddling with Camila’s fingers. “I think- um, that you were sent to me for a reason. I think that you’re supposed to be with me, because you make it better. Everything makes sense with you.”

“You’re the angel, Lo.” Camila rests an arm around Lauren’s shoulders. “You made _me_ better.”

“I love you, Camz.” Lauren looks her in the eye as she says it and Camila feels her stomach do somersaults. “You make the world make sense. Like… like you’re my own personal translator.”

Camila breathes out a sigh in content, glad she’s finally able to say what she wants without worrying about Lauren’s reaction. “I love you too, Lolo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read my fics on wattpad you'll know this already, but I start university next week and I won't have as much time to write. So updates will be slower.


	24. Chapter 24

Lauren rests her hands on Camila’s waist as she kisses her girlfriend confidently, happy that she’s better at making out than she used to be. Before, when Camila would try to push kissing a little further, it would frighten her because she didn’t know what to do, but she’s getting used to it now.

(Google had said that she needed _experience_ , and she thinks she’s got that now.)

She hums to herself when Camila attaches her lips to her throat, because she knows that Camila is going to give her a hickey like Lauren had given her a little while ago, and she doesn’t know what to expect because Camila has never given her a hickey before, and Lauren doesn’t know if it hurts or not. It looked like a bruise, so she’d figured it hurts.

But, when Camila pulls away from her neck and Lauren realises that she felt nothing bad, she smiles against Camila’s lips proudly, because she’d just made another step and it hadn’t been scary at all.

Lauren opens her eyes for a moment and meets Camila’s; her girlfriend’s chocolate brown eyes are oddly darker, and Lauren feels that odd pull in her chest again. Sometimes she gets that when Camila wears really tight jeans that make her butt look good – Lauren stares at her butt a lot – and she doesn’t really know what that means.

“You’re so hot, Lo,” Camila leans back in again and kisses her, and Lauren’s stomach flips. “So. Fucking. Hot.”

Lauren smiles again, because she’d worn the outfit she’d worn on their beach date so Camila would see her as _sexy_ , and she’s glad that it worked. Maybe she’ll wear things like this more often if Camila will call her hot, because she likes being called hot.

With a little added confidence, Lauren reaches up and slips her hand under Camila’s bra, smiling when the younger Latina lets out an audible gasp. She’s a little confused when Camila pulls her shirt off, because she’s never done that before, and she’s even more unsure when her girlfriend starts pulling her plaid shirt off her.

Once Lauren is in her crop top and shorts and Camila is left in her bra and jeans, Lauren decides that she’s going to ask why Camila stole her shirt from her. “Camzi, why did you take my shirt? If you wanted to wear it, you could’ve just asked.”

Camila laughs, and Lauren doesn’t know what’s so funny. “No, Lo, I don’t want to wear your shirt.”

“Well, why did you take it, then?” Lauren replies, frowning when Camila kisses her again. “It’s my shirt, I want to keep it.”

“I took it because I’m moving things to the next level. Slowly.” Camila squeezes her hand and kisses her again, and Lauren still doesn’t really get what she means, but she’s going to ignore it and hope for the best, because she really likes kissing Camila and she doesn’t want to stop.

Lauren decides to kiss along Camila’s jawline, because she knows her girlfriend likes it when she does that, and she’s about to do what she did a little while ago and give her girlfriend a hickey too, when she feels Camila unbutton her shorts and go to pull them down.

“Stop stealing my clothes.” Lauren shuffles away from Camila and pulls her shorts back up, buttoning them up again. “I don’t want to take them off. I’ll be too cold without them and also I’ll be in my underwear, and why would I sit around in my underwear?”

“I’m not stealing your clothes, baby.” Camila laughs and kisses her cheek. “Like I said, I’m trying to move things up a level. Physically.”

Lauren blinks as she takes Camila’s words in, and then her eyes widen, because she knows what that means. “I don’t want to have sex with you.”

“Lauren-”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head and grabs her shirt from where Camila had dropped it on the floor. She pulls it back on, really wishing she was wearing a sweater right now, because she feels way too exposed. “I don’t want to have sex with you. I told you that.”

“You told me that like _three_ months ago, Lo.” Camila slips her fingers through the belt loops in Lauren’s shorts, and Lauren starts to worry, because she doesn’t like how close Camila is getting. “I kind of thought that maybe you’d be okay with it now. We’ve been dating for a while now. Most couples have already had sex and done way more stuff.”

“Well, I-” Lauren bites down on her lip and looks down at the floor. “We’re not like most couples, are we?”

Camila frowns. “What do you mean, Lo?”

“I’m autistic.” Lauren says, pushing Camila’s hands away, because she doesn’t want her girlfriend to touch her right now. “Most couples aren’t- there’s not usually someone like me involved. And I don’t- I don’t like touch. Mostly. I don’t want to have sex with you because I’m not ready and I don’t think I ever will be. Because it’s scary and it hurts a lot when people touch me sometimes and some places are extra sensitive and I don’t want- I don’t want it to hurt.”

“I’d never hurt you, Lauren.” Camila reaches for her hand, and Lauren recoils. “You know I’d never hurt you.”

“Sometimes it just happens.” Lauren mumbles. “Sometimes someone can just brush against me and it feels like I’ve been set on fire. My senses are different to yours and I’m worried that if we- um… did stuff, it’d hurt.”

“We could have a safe word?” Camila offers, and Lauren frowns, because that’s actually not a bad idea. “Like… apples or-”

“Lion.” Lauren decides, tapping on her leg, because Nala makes her feel safe and Nala is a lion, and lions are her favourite animal. “That’s our safe word. Lion. But I still don’t want to have sex with you. Not now.”

“Look, Lolo,” Camila moves so she’s sat next to her rather than in front of her, and slowly, Lauren rests her head on Camila’s shoulder. “I know that you want to take things slow, and I know that we’ve been building up to a lot of things. But I want you to know that- it just… it puts a lot of pressure on me, to know when it’s okay to take that next step. I don’t want to frighten you away or make you feel like you have to do something you’re not okay with. I love you and I want you to be one hundred percent comfortable, but have you thought that maybe the things you’re worrying about are just that? Just worries. Not truth.”

“I don’t mean to put pressure on you.” Lauren clenches and unclenches her fingers repeatedly, because she feels incredibly guilty – the last thing she wants to do is upset Camila. “I’m sorry, I-”

“Lauren, don’t apologise.” Camila is quick to interrupt. “It’s not a bad thing. I just need you to know that maybe it should be up to you to take that next step. When you’re ready.”

“I’m really sorry that I don’t- um,” Lauren cuts herself off and sniffles, biting back tears. “I’m sorry that I keep ruining this. I know that you want to have sex with me, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I don’t want to. I love you and I want to- um, I want to be a perfect girlfriend, but I can’t… I can’t do that. It really scares me, Camila.”

“I know, baby.” Camila kisses her temple and pulls her in for a hug. “I’ll be here for you no matter what. Whether you’re ready in a week, a month, a year. Even if you’re never ready. I know that the physical stuff is hard for you, and I’d never push you into anything.”

“Yes, the physical stuff is very hard.” Lauren murmurs in agreement. “I don’t really know what I’m doing. It’s all new and unknown and I don’t like the unknown, I like planning and arranging and making sure I know everything.”

“That’s why you’re always googling things,” Camila laughs and squeezes her hand. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t know what I’m doing either.”

“You can pick up on all of the implications, though.” Lauren argues. “I don’t- sometimes I imply things and people- uh, they think something that I didn’t even realise I was implying. I’m sorry if I was implying that I wanted to have sex with you, because I don’t. Even though I love you.”

“You weren’t implying anything, sweetie,” Camila assures her. “I just thought that maybe you’d be okay with it now that you know you love me and that we’re a lot more comfortable around each other. I just don’t get why you’re so terrified. I know you’re worried it might hurt, but it seems like there’s more than that.”

Lauren swallows the lump she didn’t even realise was in her throat, because she didn’t want Camila to ask that. “There’s nothing else.”

“Lauren, you’re probably the worst liar in the world.” Camila replies. “You can always tell me what’s wrong.”

“Um… well, I told you last time that… uh, that you could maybe manipulate me into it or something, because my dad, uh, says I’m _naïve._ ” Lauren starts, not sure how to explain it. “I don’t want to be confused and made to think that I’m ready. And it’s not that I don’t trust you, because I do, I’d trust you with my life, but- I don’t really trust _me_. If I’m naïve like my dad says.”

“Lolo, I promised you that you never have to do that if you don’t want to, and I need you to remember that. Okay?” Camila squeezes her hand. “You’ll never have to do anything you’re not completely comfortable with. That’s what I want. I want my Lolo to be happy.”

“I want you to be happy too, and that’s why I feel bad.” Lauren murmurs, tapping on her leg with her fingers. “You want to have sex with me and- uh, that’d make you happy, and I feel like I’m making you sad by-”

“Lauren, no.” Camila interrupts her and Lauren looks down at her feet, because she doesn’t know what her girlfriend is about to say. “You’re not upsetting me by doing that. You being happy makes me happy, and if that means we’re not moving the physical stuff up, that’s fine. You’re going to be the one who takes that next step when you’re ready. Okay?”

“Okay. I will- um, take the next step.” Lauren hums to herself, because she doesn’t know when and how she’s going to do that. “Can I cuddle you? Cuddling is nice, I like that. Especially with you. Sometimes Dinah wants to cuddle when we watch _Vampire Diaries_ , but one time she sat on me for a prank. I pranked her back though, I jumped on her when I came back from the bathroom and I wouldn’t move.”

Camila smiles to herself, and Lauren doesn’t know why she’s happy. “Do you and Dinah have some sort of prank war going on?”

“A little bit, yes,” Lauren nods, but Dinah hasn’t pranked her for a while. “She just does it because it’s funny. She films a lot of them for Vine. But then when she pranks me I have to prank her back, because it’s not fair otherwise. Ally told me that.”

“That’s cute,” Camila laughs and snuggles up to her, and Lauren beams because she loves it when she’s the one holding Camila, because it makes her feel like she’s protecting her. “Do you want to watch _The Lion King_ , Lo?”

Lauren bounces herself up and down in excitement, and she hears Camila giggle and feels her girlfriend’s arms wrap around her more securely. “Yes, I love _The Lion King_. It’s my favourite movie ever. I love singing along to all of the songs, because they’re so fun. I like- um, I like _Lilo and Stitch_ too because I remember when I was little I didn’t have many friends like Lilo and I always wanted a Stitch. I think Nala is my Stitch.”

“I really wish we’d known each other when we were little.” Camila says, kissing Lauren’s cheek. “I wish our parents had been friends or something, because then we’d be like childhood best friends. Maybe even childhood girlfriends.”

Lauren hums, because while the idea is nice, she doesn’t think it’s realistic. “I don’t think you’d have been friends with me.”

“Why not?” Camila frowns and pushes Lauren’s hair back, and Lauren loves it when she plays with her hair. “I’m friends with you now, aren’t I? I’m _more_ than friends with you now, and I bet little baby Lolo was even _cuter_ than current Lolo.”

“Sometimes my parents’ friends would bring their kids over and- um, I think I frightened them a little bit.” Lauren admits. “I couldn’t talk much and they were loud and I’d go into sensory overload and it’d scare them. A lot of the time when my mom had her friends over and they brought their kids, they wouldn’t let me play with them. They thought- um, that I was violent. And I couldn’t tell them I’m not, because I couldn’t talk much aside from a few words.”

“I wouldn’t have cared about that.” Camila says, something Lauren can’t decipher flashing in her girlfriend’s eyes. “Trust me, baby Camila was her own personal brand of crazy. She would’ve made you be her friend whether you liked it or not.”

Lauren disregards Camila’s words. “I wish I could’ve spoken properly then. I think maybe I would’ve had more friends if I spoke properly, because then I could tell them that I’m not bad. I could tell them that I just wanted to be friends. But I couldn't do that, and I think I scared people when I tried to show them that I wanted to be friends.”

Camila squeezes her hand. “You had Ally, Mani and Dinah eventually. They weren’t mean to you, and you told me you couldn’t talk very well when you met them.”

“Um… yes.” Lauren nods and taps on Camila’s hand. “Mani was told by my teacher to show me around on my first day, and I think she realised that I was a little different. She asked me if I wanted to meet her friends and I said yes, and then- um, she let me meet Dinah and Ally. Dinah was kind of- uh, mean at first. She would push me over and laugh. And she would make fun of me for not being able to talk fluently. But then Mani and Ally shouted at her and then when they met my parents and my mom and dad explained why I’m different, she started being nice. And now she’s one of my best friends.”

“Baby Camila would’ve looked after you too.” Camila assures her. “She would’ve adored you. I can tell you that now. Mostly because current Camila absolutely loves you. But still.”

“I love you too.” Lauren replies, squeezing Camila’s hand. “So much. I wish I’d known baby Camila. She seems nice, and if I’d known you, you wouldn’t have known those mean girls. And then they wouldn’t have called me the ‘r’ word.”

“Do you still think about that, Lo?” Camila asks, running a hand through Lauren’s hair. Lauren snuggles closer to her. “I wish you didn’t. I should’ve kicked them out the second they started being bitches. You couldn’t help humming. It’s one of your verbal stims and they should respect that. Fucking- _ugh_ , I hate them so much. Nobody hurts my Lolo.”

“I still think about all the times someone has called me the ‘r’ word. Or- um, the ‘f’ word.” Lauren blinks and bites down on her bottom lip. “Because I’m not those things. I’m normal. Just a different type of normal. And those people are- um, they’re fucking wrong.”

Camila traces three circles on her palm. “I’m sorry about that time-”

“Don’t,” Lauren interrupts her, “Don’t remind me. I don’t want to think about it, because it makes me upset that you thought- I don’t want you to think I’m a freak, Camila.”

“I don’t think you’re a freak, baby.” Camila is quick to reply. “At all. That was just something that slipped out in a moment of anger because I was upset and I knew it’d hurt you. I’d never think anything like that about you.”

“But when you met me you were- um, _subtly mean_ to me because… I don’t know why.” Lauren murmurs. “I think that means you thought I was a freak.”

“I didn’t think you were a freak.” Camila squeezes her hand. “I was subtly rude to you because I thought you didn’t like me, and I wanted to prove that I didn’t care if you liked me or not.”

Lauren hums to herself, because she trusts Camila, but she doesn’t know what the truth is after some of the things Normani had told her a while ago, back when she hadn’t thought Lauren and Camila dating would be a good idea. “Do you promise me?”

“I promise you.” Camila instantly replies. “I love you, Lauren. I could never think anything negative about you.”

“Okay. I believe you.” Lauren nods and taps against Camila’s hand. “I believe you because I love you and I trust you and you’re my Camzi.”

“Can you do me a favour and forget about that?” Camila asks, and Lauren isn’t sure what she’s talking about because she hasn’t been specific. “I’m never going to call you anything like that again, and I don’t want you to keep thinking about it.”

“Oh,” Lauren realises what she’s talking about, “yes, I will try to forget.”

“Good,” Camila rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder and smiles. “Okay. Cool. Now we can watch _The Lion King_ in peace.”

“Camila?” Lauren tries playing with her girlfriend’s hair. “Is it okay if I play with your hair? I don’t want you to get upset if it’s not, so I want to make sure.”

“Yeah, Lo,” Camila snuggles as close to her as she possibly can. “This is perfect. Being with you is so easy. You make me feel at home, you know?”

“Yes. You’re my home.” Lauren nods, because she knows exactly what Camila means. “My dad always told me that home is where the heart is, so that’s- that’s why you’re like my home. Because you have my heart. And I have yours.”

Camila kisses her cheek and Lauren’s stomach flips. “Yeah. And I know you’ll take great care of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back bitches.
> 
> Moved into university so that's cool, classes don't start until Monday so I have a lot of time to write until then. Look forward to updates.
> 
> (Also, you horny lil hoes need to be patient. Lauren ain't gonna give it up that easy.)


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is literally 11k and the longest chapter yet. Enjoy. Also - trigger warning for physical abuse (mentioned).

“My parents want you to stay for dinner.” Camila announces as she walks into her room and flops down on her bed. “My dad joked that he needs to question you again. I told him it wouldn’t work and he just laughed and said he needs to properly meet my girlfriend. Is that okay with you?”

“Um… well, I wasn’t planning on staying for dinner, it’s really last minute and I don’t like last minute.” Lauren taps on her leg and frowns to herself, because she really hates spontaneous plans and Camila knows that. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.” Camila assures her. “We can plan it for another time. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Lo. My parents just don’t get that that kind of thing upsets you.”

“Your parents don’t have to get it.” Lauren replies, still considering if she’ll stay or not. It’s a Saturday night, so it’s not like she has school tomorrow, and she doesn’t plan the weekends as heavily as her weekdays. “Your parents don’t have to understand me. Not until I marry into the family.”

Camila lets out a sort of choking noise and Lauren frowns, looking up to her girlfriend with her eyes wide. She’s about to ask if she’s okay, but Camila speaks before she can. “Yeah, you’re not wrong there. But still, it’d be nice for my parents to respect your needs a little before you- um, marry into the family.”

“Yes, but they don’t have to.” Lauren looks away again and smiles when Camila takes her hand. “I think I’d like to stay for dinner. I don’t really know your parents much, I don’t talk to them when I come over other than saying hi to your mom when she lets me in.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with that?” Camila double checks, and Lauren smiles because she likes that her girlfriend is making sure she’s okay. “I know you hate spontaneous plans and stuff. But if you really don’t want to stay and you just think you have to because you want to be polite, it’s okay. I can tell them you have something else to do.”

“I think I will sleep over tonight.” Lauren decides, because if she’s staying for dinner with Camila’s family, she might as well spend the night with her girlfriend. “I will stay and we can watch movies together later. Maybe- um, we can watch _The Lion King_ with your family.”

“Well, if you’re staying the night and we’re going to be having dinner with my family, I’d rather have you to myself for the rest of the night.” Camila pushes Lauren’s hair back, and Lauren blushes and hides her face in her girlfriend’s neck. “We can always watch _The Lion King_ though. So long as you promise not to ignore me like you did last time.”

“I didn’t ignore you.” Lauren defends herself, because she didn’t. It’s not like Camila was talking to her. “You were playing with my hair and when you stopped I made you keep going. If I was ignoring you, I wouldn’t have noticed.”

“Fine, you weren’t _talking_ to me then. Better?” Camila raises her eyebrows and Lauren hums in satisfaction. “And I told you I like listening to you talk. It was the loneliest hour and a half of my life.”

“You’re being overdramatic, aren’t you?” Lauren frowns, because she’s sure Camila is joking. “Ally told me you’re overdramatic sometimes for effect. I don’t know what kind of effects, but… yeah. That’s what you’re doing right now. Right?”

“Right.” Camila agrees and squeezes her hand. “I’ll be a few minutes. I’m going to tell my mom you’re staying the night now. She’ll probably be okay with it. She’s threatened to make you sleep in the guest room before, but-”

“Why would I have to sleep in the guest room?” Lauren blinks in confusion. “The whole point of a sleepover is for me to cuddle you at bedtime. If I was going to sleep in a different room I might as well just stay at home.”

Camila laughs. “Usually when teenage couples sleep in the same room, it means they’re probably going to have sex. From a parent’s perspective, anyway.”

“But I don’t want to have sex with you.” Lauren replies. “Not yet, anyway. Maybe I should tell her that so she doesn’t think-”

“Please don’t tell her that,” Camila is quick to interrupt her, and Lauren frowns when she realises her girlfriend has turned red, because she doesn’t think it’s that hot in the room, and she doesn’t know where the thermostat is so she can’t go and turn the heating down. “Lauren, _please_ don’t say anything like that at dinner. They’ll probably find it funny and they’ll never let you live it down.”

“Are you hot?” Lauren reaches forward and places a hand on Camila’s forehead. “You feel hot. Can you show me where your thermostat is? We should turn the heating down if you’re hot.”

“I’m not hot, Lo, but thanks for the concern.” Camila kisses her cheek. “Just promise me you won’t say anything like… anything about our… physical relationship at the dinner table. Okay?”

“I promise.” Lauren links her pinky around Camila’s, mostly just to make her girlfriend feel better, because she wouldn’t talk about private things with anyone other than Camila. “I won’t tell them anything you don’t want me to tell them.”

“Good. I appreciate that.” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand and stands up again. “I’ll be right back. Need to tell my mom you’re staying.”

“Okay. Love you.” Lauren reminds her as she watches her girlfriend leave the room.

Camila is back through the door in seconds, quickly kissing her. “I love you too.”

While Camila runs downstairs to talk to her parents again, Lauren decides that she’s going to play games on Camila’s phone, because that’s what Camila had done before on her phone. She types in the other girl’s password, _0627_ , and smiles to herself when she remembers that Camila had set it as her birthday because she’d remember it easier.

Lauren pouts when she realises that Camila doesn’t have any brain training games, and that’s no good, because all the games Lauren likes are brain training style. Instead, she decides to go on her girlfriend’s Instagram and post a selfie, and see how long it takes for Camila to notice it’s there.

****_@camila_cabello: Guess what? @laurenjauregui is my favourite person in the whole wide world and you should all go follow her. Because I love her and she’s perfect. Like, even more perfect than that actor I like but I can’t remember his name right now. Okay bye. :) Also, I love Lauren and she’s my girlfriend. Not you. Bye. (P.S. Follow Lauren please. Because she has really good posts. But don’t flirt with her because she’s my girlfriend. Bye for real.)_ ** **

She’s about to close the app and lock Camila’s phone when she sees a notification pop up and laughs when she reads Dinah’s comment on the picture.

****_@dinahjane97: Hey Ralph you’re giving me #camrenfeels lol_ ** **

Lauren would’ve replied to Dinah’s comment, but she hears Camila coming up the stairs and locks the other girl’s phone, putting it back on her bedside table. Then, she gets her own phone out and acts like she’s not been doing anything.

“I’m back,” Camila announces her presence and sits down on the bed next to Lauren. “My mom says it’s cool for you to stay over and she’s glad you’re staying for dinner. If my parents interrogate you, I’m sorry in advance.”

“Your parents are nice, I think. I’ve only really talked to your mom, but she always says hi to me.” Lauren hums and bites her lip. “I don’t really know your dad. He confused me when we met that first time. He asks dumb questions.”

Camila snorts with laughter. “Yeah, he won’t do that this time. You told him you’re autistic, so… he’ll probably be more direct. I can’t deny that his questions won’t be dumb, though.”

“Do you think I should tell your mom that too?” Lauren frowns in thought. “Do you think maybe she’d like to know?”

“Maybe.” Camila nods. “But it’s up to you. It’s your thing to tell, like you said. If you want my mom to know then tell her.”

“I think… maybe. I might tell her if I think she needs to know.” Lauren replies, tapping against Camila’s thigh. “It’s- um, _need to know_ information. I don’t tell people unless I think it’s necessary.”

“Why not?” Camila asks. “When do you think you’d have told me if you don’t like telling people?”

Lauren frowns, because Camila had asked more than one question and it had confused her. “Can you repeat that please? You went too fast.”

“Oh, sorry, baby,” Camila kisses her forehead and Lauren’s stomach twists in every direction possible. “Why don’t you tell people unless it’s necessary?”

“Because they could- um, spread it around and make rumours about me, and I don’t like rumours. I think one time someone made a rumour that I was violent, but I’m not. I don’t- um, I used to lash out if I was frustrated, but I don’t do that anymore. I haven’t done that for years.” Lauren rubs on her leg when she thinks back to the last time she got really angry, and tries to push that memory out of her head. That’s the last thing she wants Camila to know about. “I haven’t done that since I was nine. I’m not violent. I would never hurt anyone.”

“I know you wouldn’t, Lolo.” Camila snuggles up to her and Lauren smiles to herself, because she loves holding Camila and it’s taking her mind off bad things. “When do you think you’d have told me? You know, if Dinah hadn’t.”

“I don’t know.” Lauren shrugs, because she finds it hard to imagine things that haven’t happened. “Maybe once I realised you were going to be a permanent fixture in our group. That way you’d have needed to know.”

“I’m glad Dinah told me when she did.” Camila fiddles with Lauren’s fingers. “I don’t think we would’ve been friends as quickly as we were if she hadn’t. I was so confused by you, Lo. I didn’t know why you wouldn’t talk to me, but then you were going around telling everyone we were friends. Because, you know, friends tend to talk to one another.”

“You were scary.” Lauren admits, thinking back to how she felt when she first met Camila. “You were new and that means change and I hate change. I was scared of you because you were a new person that I hadn’t met, and I’m not good with new people so I didn’t want to talk to you in case I said something weird. I decided we’re friends because you always smiled at me and I liked that. Friends smile at each other.”

Camila beams and links her fingers at the nape of Lauren’s neck, pulling her in for a kiss. “Well, I’m infinitely happy you decided we were friends. And that you asked me on a date. Honestly, Lo, I need to step up my game. You’re always the one making all of the steps here.”

Lauren blinks in confusion and thinks back through to all of the steps they’ve taken that she can remember. “No, you- um, you _felt me up_ first. And… you told me you love me first.”

“I… yeah, okay, true,” Camila nods in agreement and shrugs, “but you asked me out first, _and_ asked me to be your girlfriend, _and_ gave me a hickey. Three out of five, Lo. You’re still winning.”

“Well, um, you could take another step right now, and then it’d be fair.” Lauren shyly leans forward and kisses Camila on the tip of her nose. “You were the one who initiate our first kiss, too. So technically we’re already even.”

“I think you get more points for practically initiating this whole relationship though.” Camila replies. “So… I think I’ll opt for taking another step right now. Maybe then we’ll be even.”

“Okay.” Lauren hums in thought and taps on Camila’s thigh. “What are you planning on doing?”

“Uh…” Camila pauses, “I don’t really know. I can’t really think of anything other than… and you don’t want to do that…”

“Other than what?” Lauren pulls Camila down to hug her. “I’ll do it if you want. What do you want to do? Please don’t be vague, Camz.”

“No, I don’t want to do what I was thinking about. Never mind.” Camila brushes her off, and Lauren frowns, because she still wants to know what’s going on in Camila’s head. “We could… uh, we could take a bath together. After dinner, obviously.”

“A bath?” Lauren blinks, because she’d read something online about taking a romantic bath with your partner, but she didn’t think it’d be that interesting. There’s not much you can do in a bath. “Oh. Okay. Yes, I will take a romantic bath with you. Do you have any candles? We should light candles.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with that?” Camila asks her, and Lauren’s a little confused by the surprised look on her girlfriend’s face. “It’s kind of... I mean, we’ll both have to be naked. You know that, right?”

Lauren nods. “Yes, but you won’t _see_ me. Because I’ll be in a bath. With bubbles.”

“You want to take a bubble bath?” Camila laughs and kisses her forehead, and Lauren frowns because she has no idea what she’s said that’s funny. “Of course you do. I should’ve guessed. I’ll have to borrow Sofi’s Disney princess bubbles.”

“I only ever take baths with bubbles in them.” Lauren announces. “They’re fun to play with. You can give yourself a bubble moustache.”

“You’re such a kid sometimes, Lo,” Camila laughs, “it’s adorable.”

Lauren snorts. “If I’m a kid, then you’re one too, because I’m older than you. You turn seventeen in a little while, but I turn _eighteen_. I’m going to be an adult and I’m going to get my dragonfly tattoo.”

Camila smiles at her, but it’s in a weird way that Lauren doesn’t understand. It’s fuzzy around the edges and there’s something in her eyes that she can’t decipher. All she knows is that Camila looks really happy. “So it’s settled. We’ll have dinner with my parents and then we’ll have a bubble bath together.”

“Yes. I am excited for our bubble bath.” Lauren replies, squeezing Camila around the waist. “Can we have candles, though? I read online that it’s romantic to have candlelit baths.”

“How many things did you google search, Lo?” Camila asks with a laugh. “It seems like you did some quite extensive research.”

“Oh, I did. I looked up lots of things before our date because I wanted to make it perfect for you.” Lauren thinks back to all of the different websites she’d looked at. She’d looked at some unspecific ones, but when the instructions were really vague, she’d looked on websites aimed at autistic people, and they’d really helped. “I wanted to make it perfect for both of us, because I didn’t really know what I was doing. It was hard for me at first, all of this relationship stuff was. But now it’s really easy.”

“I’m happy you think it’s easy now.” Camila says. “Because this is the easiest relationship I’ve ever been in. I mean, it’s the _only_ relationship I’ve ever been in, but my old friends used to have arguments with their boyfriends all the time and they’d talk about how frustrating the person they were dating was. I don’t get that at all with you. I don’t think we’ve ever argued, do you?”

“No.” Lauren shakes her head, glad for that, because she hates arguments. Usually arguments lead to shouting, and shouting leads to sensory overload, and that’s the worst thing in the world. “I hate arguing. I’m glad we don’t do it. Arguing is the absolute _worst_. But we don’t do it, because we understand each other. We’re soulmates. Maybe your friends and their boyfriends weren’t soulmates. That’s probably why they argued all the time.”

Camila sends her an odd look. “Does Lucy know I’m your soulmate now too?”

“Yes, I told her the second it happened,” Lauren grabs her phone and scrolls up through her conversation with Lucy, showing Camila the messages. “I was her soulmate before Vero was too, and she told me. I was really happy for her, because she found her romantic soulmate. I’m her platonic soulmate. You’re my romantic soulmate like Vero is Lucy’s.”

Camila smiles down at Lauren’s phone. “That’s really sweet. I’m glad you have her to talk to, Lolo. She really seems to get you.”

“That’s because she thinks like me.” Lauren takes her phone back and stuffs it in her pocket, but not before sending her mom a quick text about how she needs to bring Nala and her pyjamas over. “I have told my mom that I’m staying over tonight so she can bring Nala over. And my pyjamas and stuff, but I mostly just texted her for Nala, because I can’t sleep without her.”

“Alright,” Camila nods and takes hold of her hand. “Come on, let’s go downstairs and help my mom set the table and stuff. Maybe your mom will come over with Nala while we’re eating.”

“Yes, hopefully, because I really need Nala if I’m going to sleep over.” Lauren says, letting Camila lead her downstairs. “Nala is my best friend. Aside from Mani, Ally and DJ.”

Camila scoffs, and Lauren is a little surprised, because she didn’t expect that reaction. “So where do I fit in, huh? Does Nala beat me?”

Lauren blinks in confusion. “No, you’re my _girlfriend_. You weren’t counted in that. I love you more than I love Nala. But- um, if I had to pick only one of you to cuddle with, I’d choose Nala, because I can’t sleep without her.”

Camila laughs and ruffles Lauren’s hair. “I know you can’t. Anyways, you sit down here. I’ll go and see if my mom needs help.”

“When we go in the bath later, can you wash my hair?” Lauren asks before Camila can leave the room. “I like it when you do my hair, and you can make it straight again when we get out of the bath. If we have time. I will- um, give you a bubble moustache.”

“A bubble moustache in return for me essentially being your personal hair stylist?” Camila laughs, and Lauren blushes when she hears the words over again, because it’s kind of dumb now that she thinks about it. “Okay then. But it has to be a _good_ bubble moustache.”

“I’ll do something else too.” Lauren offers, because she wants to be a good girlfriend to Camila. That’s important to her. “I’ll do your hair for you. You do mine and I’ll do yours.”

“Alright.” Camila leans down and wraps her arms around Lauren, resting her head on the other girl’s shoulder. “I trust you’ll do well.”

“Camz?” Lauren moves so she’s looking her girlfriend in the eyes, and tries her hardest to maintain eye contact. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Lo.” Camila assures her, kissing her cheek. “I’ll be two seconds. I’m going to go and help my mom.”

“Okay.” Lauren smiles and returns her gaze to the table when she hears Camila’s soft footsteps moving away from her. She picks up her girlfriend’s phone again and types in the password, checking on her Instagram post to see if Camila has noticed it yet. She hasn’t, because there’s a few comments underneath it that Camila hasn’t replied to.

****_@normanikordei: Well clearly someone was hacked_ ** **

****_@itsmeallyb: @normanikordei You never know, maybe Camila drastically changed her typing style and decided to proclaim her love for Lo to the masses_ ** **

****_@dinahjane97: Ralph u ain’t slick_ ** **

****_@camila_cabello: Oops. Caught me. ;) Don’t tell Camzi though, I want to see how long it’ll take for her to notice._ ** **

“Why are you on my sister’s phone?”

Lauren nearly jumps out of her skin at the voice, because she really wasn’t expecting that. When she turns around to see Sofi, she sends the younger girl a sheepish smile and puts Camila’s phone back down on the table where her girlfriend had left it. “I’m pranking her.”

“Oh,” Sofi smiles and sits down in the chair next to her. “I like pranks. What did you do?”

“I hacked her Instagram.” Lauren proudly replies. “Normani did it to Ally once, and I thought it was funny, so I decided to do it too.”

“What was funny?” Camila asks as she walks into the room and sets a knife and fork in front of Lauren. “What’re you two talking about?”

“Manibear hacked Ally’s Instagram and it was funny.” Lauren says, sending a pleading look to Sofi, because she hopes that she won’t tell her sister. “I was telling Sofi about it.”

Camila frowns. “And you decided to hack Ally too?”

Deciding that it’ll be best to lie, because she doesn’t want to ruin her prank, Lauren nods. “Um… yes.”

Camila doesn’t look like she believes her at all. Her eyes narrow and she sends Lauren a knowing smile. “I think you forget that I can tell when you’re lying.”

“I’m not lying.” Lauren lies again, and grabs Camila phone from the table. “I’m going to play a game on your phone now. Do you have any brain training ones?”

“Lauren Michelle Jauregui, give me my phone.” Camila holds her hand out. “It’s my Instagram you hacked, isn’t it?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head and types in Camila’s passcode, “I’d never do that. You trust me, don’t you?”

“Not with that devious little smirk on your face I don’t.” Camila shoots back, grabbing her phone out of Lauren’s hand. Lauren watches as Camila opens up her Instagram and checks the page, rolling her eyes when she sees Lauren’s post. “You’re such a dork, Jauregui. Good thing this is a cute picture of you, or I’d take it down. The caption… is absolutely adorable. But, I need to get my revenge. Give me your phone, Lo.”

Lauren keeps her phone in her pocket. “No.”

“Either you give me your phone or I’ll jump on you and take it.” Camila threatens. Lauren rolls her eyes, because she knows Camila wouldn’t do that, and beams when Sofi holds her sister back. “Sofi, get off me, I need to attack Lauren.”

Sofi shakes her head. “No, she was only pranking you.”

“Yeah, but I remember her telling me that it’s only fair to prank people back.” Camila points out, and Lauren has to admit that it’s true. That’s what Ally had told her, and Ally is smart. So, Lauren hands over her phone with a sigh. “Fine. You can do it.”

Camila sends her a satisfied smile and Lauren watches as she opens up her Instagram. “Thank you.”

Lauren looks down at her feet as Camila works on posting a picture, and frowns when Sofi starts talking to her, because she doesn’t know what she’s done to make Camila’s sister like her.

“Lauren?” Sofi moves past Camila and smiles up at her. “Can I sit on your knee?”

“Uh…” Lauren looks over to Camila, unsure, because she doesn’t know why Sofi wants to do that. After a few moments, she shrugs and taps on her leg. “Okay then. Why?”

Sofi pulls herself onto Lauren’s lap and takes her completely by surprise when she hugs her. “Because I want to hug you. I like you, I’m glad you’re Kaki’s girlfriend. She lets me sit on her knee a lot, but I wanted to sit on yours today.”

“Oh.” Lauren does what she usually would with Dinah’s little brother Seth and holds Sofi by her midriff. She’s not sure if it’s really the same though, because Sofi is older than Seth, but Dinah always tells her that Seth loves her visits and that she’s really good with kids, so she goes with what she knows. “Is this okay?”

“Yep,” Sofi tugs on Camila’s sleeve. “This is why I like her. She’s not mean to me like that guy you brought home that time.”

Before Camila can reply, Lauren’s eyes widen. “You brought a guy home?”

“ _Austin_ , Lo,” Camila is quick to explain, “I told you about that time he came over before we went to homecoming. You don’t need to worry.”

“Oh,” Lauren relaxes, “okay. I don’t need to worry. Have you finished pranking me back yet?”

“Yep,” Camila slides Lauren’s phone across the table to her, “I think you’ll find my post satisfactory.”

 

****_@laurenjauregui: dis my pretty af girlfriend. aint she a cutie???? anyway u should follow her @camila_cabello bc #promo n i fuckin love her k? also like she said about me u aint allowed 2 do any damn flirting bc this cutie is mine (p.s. this totally isn’t camila rn. like at all.)_ ** **

****_@normanikordei: Y’all need to chill n just post these on your own damn accounts_ ** **

****_@dinahjane97: and now Walz is giving me #camrenfeels I hate you both you’re killing your captain_ ** **

****_@camila_cabello: @dinahjane97 we’re cute stfu cheechee_ ** **

Lauren smiles as she reads her friends’ comments, typing one back as Sofi watches over her shoulder.

****_@laurenjauregui: Yeah, shut up @dinahjane97. We’re cute. And @normanikordei, she was pranking me back. It’s only fair. :)_ ** **

“Your comments back to people are always so cute, Lo,” Camila says, and Lauren looks over at her girlfriend’s phone screen to see that she’s scrolling through Lauren’s Instagram feed. “I don’t like this guy’s comments, though. Who’s Brad Simpson?”

Lauren shrugs. “One of Chris’s friends. I don’t really know him. He comes to my house sometimes and he always tries to talk to me but I leave because I don’t know him.”

“Good. Don’t talk to him.” Camila advises, and Lauren frowns because she’d just told Camila that she doesn’t. “He’s flirting with you on here. And you being sweet in reply – because you’re just amazingly lovely to everyone you ever meet – is probably encouraging him. At least there’s my post on there now.”

Lauren blinks in confusion and leans over Sofi to see what Camila is looking at, and reads over some of the comments on a recent selfie she’d taken. “I don’t think he flirts with me. Nobody really likes me like that. Aside from you. And that’s good, because I only like you. I’m yours.”

“Lauren, he called you _babe_.” Camila points out, and Lauren frowns. “If he doesn’t stop being so flirty after seeing my post, can you at least tell him to knock it off?”

“Okay,” Lauren kisses Camila’s cheek as Sinu walks in carrying a few plates, thinking to herself about what she’s going to do. “I will tell him to- um, knock it off. Because I’m yours and you’re mine.”

“Good,” Camila squeezes her hand and turns to her mom, “do you need help bringing everything in?”

“Yes. Mine, yours and Lauren’s meals are still in the kitchen.” Sinu replies, “I made sure everything wasn’t touching like you told me when I did Lauren’s.”

Lauren is quick to nudge Sofi off her lap and stand up. “I will bring them in because- um, I want to help. Is that okay?”

Sinu beams at her. “Thank you for offering, mija. Karla, help your girlfriend bring the rest of the plates in.”

Camila takes hold of Lauren’s hand and walks her into the kitchen, but Lauren isn’t really paying much attention, because she’s far more concerned about how Camila’s mom had called her _Karla_. “I don’t like it when your parents call you Karla, because you don’t like it and if it makes you uncomfortable-”

“It’s okay, Lolo,” Camila cuts her off with a laugh and a kiss to her cheek as she passes her a plate, “I don’t mind it. They picked the name, so they want to use it, I guess. And it’s my first name. It’s like… if your friends called you Michelle, but your parents still called you Lauren.”

Lauren hums in thought. “I don’t think I want my friends to call me Michelle. I like being called Lauren. Do you need me to carry anything else?”

“No, I think we’re okay,” Camila nods towards the kitchen door. “Let’s go back to the table. Thank you for offering to get stuff for my mom, though.”

“I need to- um, make a good impression,” Lauren says, as she runs to hold the door open for Camila, since she’s only holding one plate and Camila has two. I know that your parents have already met me and we’ve been dating for five months and six days, but… I want them to like me lots and I want to make a good impression.”

“You’re literally the sweetest person on the planet, Lo,” Camila tells her as they walk back into the room and set the plates onto the dinner table, “they’ll realise that. Be yourself, baby.”

“Okay,” Lauren sits down in the spot Camila had designated for her earlier, and taps on her leg with her hand. “I will be myself.”

Camila sits down next to her and squeezes her knee under the table, and it relaxes her a lot to know that if she gets upset she can ask Camila to do that again or to hold her hand. In order to stay calm, Lauren mostly focuses on eating her food, because Sinu’s cooking is very lovely and she thinks she might stay for dinner more if it’ll be Sinu cooking rather than Camila.

“So, Lauren, Camila tells me you’re turning eighteen this year.” Sinu says, and Lauren looks up in surprise, because most of the conversation so far had been between Camila and her family. “Have you made any plans yet?”

Lauren frowns to herself at Sinu’s question, because it wasn’t very specific, but she tries her best to answer it. “I am going to get a tattoo of a dragonfly on the back of my neck when I turn eighteen. And I will- um, I think I’m going to get another tattoo on my arm and I’ve been looking at things to get but I haven’t decided yet. I like tattoos because they’re art and I love art.”

“Lo?” Camila puts her knife down and squeezes Lauren’s knee under the table again. “My mom meant plans for universities and things like that.”

“Oh, well, she wasn’t very specific,” Lauren says, and before Sinu has a chance to speak, starts again, “I don’t know which university I want to go to, but I want to study art. I will major in art, because it is my special interest, and I will maybe do some electives in English literature, because I love to read too. Did I answer that right?”

“You did,” Sinu sends her a small smile, and Lauren beams, because if she’s smiling it means she’s done well. “You’re a year older than Camila, aren’t you?”

“Almost, I am eight months and four days older than her.” Lauren works out. “Or 249 days if you’d prefer it like that.”

Sinu sends her an odd look, and Lauren worries because she can’t tell if it’s good or not. “Did you just work that out right now?”

“Yes, I’m very smart,” Lauren nods, turning back to her food. “I have a 5.0 GPA. I do lots of advanced classes but my best class is art because art is my special interest.”

“Oh, I didn’t think…” Sinu trails off, and Lauren frowns, because she wants to know what she was about to say, but then Sinu says something else and she forgets about it. “So… you’re a senior, are you? Shouldn’t you have already picked out your college-”

“I am not a senior, I am in junior year like Camila and our friends, except Ally, she’s a senior and she’s going to go to the University of Miami because she wants to stay close to home.” Lauren voices her train of thought. “I am older than our friends though. Because- um, I… I started school late.”

Camila holds her hand out, the signal she always uses to show Lauren she’s about to touch her, and Lauren nods, feeling Camila’s hand rest on her thigh. Camila’s voice is quieter than usual when she speaks. “You don’t have to tell her if you don’t want to, Lolo.”

“I- um…” Lauren looks back up to Sinu for a second, before returning her gaze to her meal. “I started school late because I’m autistic. And… um, I couldn’t- I wasn’t diagnosed then, so my parents didn’t enrol me in school until I was six.”

“Actually, Alejandro told me that you’re autistic,” Sinu starts, and Lauren tries not to get angry, because that’s her thing to tell and she doesn’t want Camila’s dad to tell everyone. “Is it okay if I ask you a few questions about that?”

Lauren blinks in confusion. “You want to ask me about autism?”

“What’s autism?” Sofi frowns and turns to Camila. “Kaki, what’s that? Is Lauren ill? Is she going to die because she’s sick?”

“No, Sofi,” Camila laughs, “Lauren’s not sick. You know how I explained to you that she thinks differently? And that it’s something she was born with when you asked if you could be like her? That’s the name for it. Autism. That’s why Lauren’s mind works differently.”

“Oh.” Sofi hums in thought. “Okay then. So I can’t be that either?”

“No,” Camila replies, “like I told you, it’s something she’s born with.”

“Lauren,” Sofi turns to her and holds out her arm, “can you bite me like a vampire would? Maybe then I’ll be cool like you. Because Kaki is lame, I don’t want to be like her, I want to be like you.”

“I don’t-” Lauren blinks in confusion. “You want me to _bite_ you?”

“Yeah. You look like a vampire because you’re so pale,” Sofi says, “and vampires bite people to make them vampires too. You’re- you’re Lamp. Lauren and vamp.”

“I’m not a vampire.” Lauren taps on her leg. “I’m- I’m not going to bite you.”

Camila laughs and kicks her little sister under the table. “Sofi, don’t bug my girlfriend. You’re stuck being _lame_ like me forever. Deal with it. Mom wants to ask Lauren some things.”

“Yes.” Sinu confirms. “If that’s okay.”

Camila, whose hand is still rested on Lauren’s thigh, squeezes it and kisses her cheek. “You don’t have to answer anything that you don’t want to answer.”

“Okay then.” Lauren nods to herself. “If what Camz said is okay. If I don’t have to answer everything if you ask something that I don’t want to answer.”

“Alright,” Sinu sends Lauren a smile and then looks over to Alejandro, “is there anything you want to ask too?”

Alejandro turns to Sinu and shrugs. “I’ve asked all the questions I need to. If I didn’t think she was good for Karla they wouldn’t still be dating, would they?”

“Well, we would, just in secret,” Camila shrugs, and Lauren frowns again because she doesn’t like it when Camila’s parents call her Karla. “Luckily Lauren’s an absolute sweetheart and she can make basically anyone adore her.”

“Yes, with my- what did you call it, Camz?” Lauren pauses to think. “Oh, my _Jauregui charm_. You said I had that.”

Camila laughs. “Yeah, your charm. I didn’t know you’d remember that.”

“I remember everything you say, I love listening to you talk about things.” Lauren drops her fork on her plate and reaches to put her hand around the back of Camila’s neck, pulling her girlfriend close so she can kiss her. “You’re important to me so I will listen to you.”

“I love you, Lo,” Camila kisses her and nods towards her mom. “Is it okay for my mom to ask you things now?”

“Yes,” Lauren glances up at Sinu before relocating her gaze to the table, squeezing Camila on the shoulder before returning her hands to her cutlery. “You can ask things about autism and I will answer them as best as I can.”

“Okay.” Sinu clears her throat. “How would you say it impacts you on a daily basis? Like… what kind of things does-”

“Mom,” Camila interrupts, “Don’t ask more than one question at a time, Lauren’s told me it kind of… gets all knotted together in her head. Right, baby?”

“Right. Thank you for telling her that.” Lauren says, before thinking back to the other question Sinu had asked her. “It doesn’t- um, impact me, really. Unless- um, loud places are bad. I don’t like those because everything muddles up and it makes me go into sensory overload. And I hate the colour orange, it hurts my eyes and makes me feel sick.”

Sinu frowns. “Why do you not like orange?”

“It’s _bad_ ,” Lauren taps on the table, “Orange is an ugly colour and it gives me a headache and hurts my eyes. It’s all- it’s like sensory input. Different things that allistic people don’t think are bad, I don’t like. Like orange.”

“Allistic?” Sinu looks at her in confusion and Lauren feels bad that she’s confused Camila’s mother. “What does that mean?”

“It means… like you. Like you and Camila and Sofi and Camila’s dad. And like my family and our friends. Not autistic.” Lauren explains. “But I wouldn’t call you neurotypical because I don’t know if you are. You might have anxiety or depression or something like that. But if you don’t have autism, you’re allistic.”

“Oh, alright then,” Sinu accepts her response, and Camila smiles at her, and Lauren knows that she’s taught her girlfriend something new as well. “I’ve read a few things about autism when I found out that Camila was dating you, and I read some things on a site called Austim Speaks, which-”

“No, no, don’t read on that,” Lauren is quick to interrupt, clenching and unclenching her fingers, one of her nervous stims, because that’s a bad site and she knows it. “They’re bad. They’re not right, I hate them. They’re not right, they try to- I don’t… they-”

“Hey, Lolo,” Camila interrupts her and holds her hand out. “I’m going to hug you, okay? Come here, baby.”

Lauren lets Camila pull her in for a hug and murmurs into her girlfriend’s shoulder. “They’re bad. That’s a bad organisation. I wish they weren’t- I don’t want them to exist. I hate them. I can- um, tell your mom some good people, though.”

“Yeah, you should do that.” Camila ruffles her hair and kisses her cheek, and Lauren feels a lot better. “You should tell me some good places to read things too. In case I ever want to look something up and you’re not there for me to ask.”

“You can always text me.” Lauren tells her. “You know that. If you want to know something then ask, because not everyone- um, not every autistic person experiences it the same way. So some things you might read online, I might not relate to. Like… a lot of autistic people hate contact in any way, but I don’t mind it if you tell me or if I initiate it. I love hugs and kisses.”

Camila grins. “And I love giving you hugs and kisses. So it’s a win-win.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods and glances over at Sinu and Alejandro for a moment. “Do you have anything else you want to ask?”

Sinu sends her a smile. “I was wondering what kind of social limitations you have.”

“Oh,” Lauren looks down at her feet in confusion, because Sinu hadn’t asked her a question. “Okay. But you didn’t ask me a question.”

“I’m guessing that’s one of them, then,” Sinu laughs, and Lauren frowns, because she hadn’t told a joke, and she’s not very good at jokes anyway. “What kind of social issues do you have?”

“Um… well, I don’t get it when people talk figuratively, but I think a lot of figurative language is stupid anyway, because none of it makes sense. Like idioms are dumb, I don’t like them. I don’t get when people are vague, either. Like, uh, sometimes in class the teacher will explain something vaguely, but I don’t get what they mean.” Lauren rambles. “I always ask afterwards though, because I need to maintain my 5.0 GPA. I don’t understand sarcasm a lot of the time when other people use it, but I can do it myself. If I want. And- um, I don’t get a lot of implications. My mom says I’m very blunt a lot of the time, but I don’t really realise. Sometimes when I get upset I can’t speak and I go nonverbal, and- um, I had a lot of problems with speaking when I was little, so…”

As she trails off, Camila squeezes her leg again. “I think that’s enough for the questions. Since Lauren and I have finished eating, we’re going to go upstairs and watch a few movies.”

At Camila’s prompt, Lauren stands up and picks her plate up. She turns to Camila’s parents and rocks herself on her heels. “Thank you for inviting me to stay for dinner. You’re a very good chef and I- um, I would like to come over for dinner more often.”

“You’re always welcome to come over.” Alejandro tells her. “Usually it’s implied, but we’re glad Camila is dating you and you have our approval.”

“Good, because I’m going to be a good girlfriend and look after her.” Lauren feels Camila grab onto her arm and tug her towards the kitchen. “Thank you for- um, approving me.”

Camila pulls her through the kitchen door with a laugh and takes her plate from her, setting it down by the sink. “Do you want to take our bath now or later?”

“Now, because I’m really looking forward to you doing my hair.” Lauren leans forward and kisses Camila. “You do it right. You brush it really gently and it’s nice.”

Camila smiles. “Okay. You head up to my room and I’ll go and steal Sofi’s bubble bath stuff.”

“Alright,” Lauren kisses Camila on the cheek and then skips out of the room, making her way up to Camila’s bedroom by herself. She sits down on Camila’s bed, wishing she had the younger girl’s phone so she could hack her Instagram again, instead deciding to play a few games on her own phone to pass the time.

When Camila finally reappears, she comes with Sofi’s bubble bath mixture and Nala tucked under her arm, and Lauren’s heart soars, because her favourite thing in the world is here with her. “Your dad came with Nala and your overnight bag.”

Lauren reaches her hands up and wiggles her fingers. “Give me Nala.”

Camila tosses her stuffed lion over and Lauren cuddles her toy to her chest, running her fingers along the fabric. “I knew you’d be happy to see her.”

“Yes, Nala is my best friend,” Lauren announces, squeezing her lion’s leg. “I’m glad she’s here now, because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to sleep over tonight, since I need Nala to sleep.”

“I’m going to go run the bath.” Camila says, walking across to her bathroom. “You just… cuddle with Nala or something while I do that. I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

“Okay.” Lauren sits back on Camila’s bed and curls up around Nala, deciding to spend her alone time stimming by petting her stuffed animal and humming to herself, because that’s how she falls asleep on a night and it’s a perfect way to relax.

She’s nearly asleep when Camila calls her into the bathroom, and when she walks in, she’s greeted by a bubble bath with a few little candles lit.

“I couldn’t find many candles,” Camila apologises, “but yeah. Ta da. Bath time.”

Lauren hums and taps her fingers against her pants. “Yes, it’s bath time. Should I bring anything in with me?”

Camila laughs. “Nope. Just yourself.”

Lauren frowns when Camila moves closer to her and grabs the hem of her sweater. “Why are you touching my clothes?”

“I’m going to- um…” Camila turns bright red and looks anywhere but Lauren. “I’m going to undress you. If you’re okay with that.”

“You want to take my clothes off me?” Lauren backs away a little and clenches and unclenches her fingers. “I don’t… I don’t want to have sex with you.”

“I know that, baby girl.” Camila kisses her cheek and brushes Lauren’s hair back, and Lauren closes her eyes because her stomach is doing that flippy thing again and it’s making her nervous. “We’re not going to have sex. Not until you’re one hundred percent ready. I just want to take your clothes off you so we can get in the bath together.”

“I- um, can I-” Lauren takes a deep breath and tries to gather her thoughts. “Can I do it to you first? Just so I can see… what you’re going to do to me.”

“Okay.” Camila nods and tugs her forwards. “Go on, then.”

Nervously, Lauren starts unbuttoning Camila’s shirt and slowly takes it off her. She makes sure to fold it up, because she doesn’t want the bathroom to be messy, and then does the same with her girlfriend’s skirt. Once Camila is left in her bra and underwear, Lauren rocks herself on her heels. “I… do you want me to keep going?”

“Yeah.” Camila kisses her again and Lauren tries to ignore the way her stomach is pulling and that ache between her legs. “Go ahead.”

Slowly, Lauren reaches behind Camila and unclasps her girlfriend’s bra, placing it to the side with Camila’s other clothes. She looks at her girlfriend again, her eyes falling on Camila’s breasts, and she swallows the lump in her throat before she pulls down Camila’s underwear and helps her girlfriend step out of it.

She keeps her gaze trained on Camila’s toothbrush, determined to look anywhere other than her girlfriend, because she doesn’t know if it’s okay for her to look.

“Lauren?” Camila grabs her attention. “Look at me. It’s okay.”

Lauren frowns to herself and looks over at Camila, her eyes widening as she takes in her girlfriend’s naked body, because she can’t remember the last time she’s ever seen anything that beautiful. Every beauty mark, every stretch mark, every scar, Lauren thinks is absolutely gorgeous as she takes in every inch of Camila’s beautiful tan skin. Lauren rests her hands on Camila’s waist and tries her hardest to maintain eye contact with her girlfriend as she gets the words out. “I love you. You’re so… you’re perfection, Camz.”

Camila blushes and leans up to kiss her slowly, and Lauren feels her nerves set alight and her stomach twist. “Thank you, Lo. I love you too. I bet you’re just as beautiful.”

As Camila reaches for the hem of her sweater again, Lauren hums to herself. “Don’t look at my back, please.”

“Your back?” Camila blinks in confusion. “Why not?”

“Because…” Lauren trails off and shrugs, because she doesn’t want to explain. “Don’t look at my back. I don’t want you to.”

“I… okay. I won’t look at your back, baby.” Camila promises, pulling Lauren’s sweater over her head. Lauren taps against her pants, because she doesn’t like how exposed she feels, but she knows that it’s okay, because Camila is her girlfriend and it’s normal for girlfriends to see each other naked. “You’re doing really well so far, Lo.”

Lauren frowns as Camila tosses her sweater onto the neatly folded clothes Lauren had left on the counter. As Camila unbuttons her jeans, Lauren decides to voice her concerns. “Aren’t you going to fold my sweater?”

“Oh,” Camila pauses to laugh, and picks the sweater up again, folding it as quickly as she can. “Sorry about that, Lo.”

“It’s okay,” Lauren says as Camila unbuttons her jeans and pulls them down. “I just wanted to make sure there’s not a mess.”

Thankfully, Camila folds up Lauren’s jeans, and the older girl decides to help Camila undress her by taking off her _Lion King_ socks and handing them to her girlfriend. “Thanks, Lolo. I’m going to take your bra off now.”

Lauren closes her eyes as Camila unclasps her bra and takes it off her, and she looks again when she feels her girlfriend reach for her underwear. “Can you stop for a moment?”

“Okay.” Camila immediately gives her space. “Let me know when you’re ready.”

“I think-” Lauren taps against her leg. “I think that I will let you keep going. I just needed a break because I’m not used to- um, this.”

Camila steps forwards again and carefully takes Lauren’s underwear off her, dropping them on top of the pile of clothes. “There. All done. You did so well, babe.”

“Yes, I did well, and we’re making another step.” Lauren assures herself, and then looks over to the bath. “Will you close your eyes when I get in the bath? I don’t want you to see my back.”

Camila runs a hand through Lauren’s hair and nods. “Okay. You’re really beautiful by the way, Lo. Like… I don’t think I’ve ever seen beauty like yours before.”

“Thank you,” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and wraps her arms around Camila in a hug. “I think that your body is beautiful and you think that mine is too.”

“Yeah.” Camila agrees, stepping into the bath and sitting down. She closes her eyes and holds her arms out. “Come and sit with me, Lo.”

Lauren makes sure Camila’s eyes are definitely closed as she sits down in the bath, and makes sure she’s submerged in the bubbles properly before speaking. “You can open your eyes now.”

“Alright,” Camila reaches over her and grabs the shampoo. “Hairdresser Camila Cabello at your service. Do you want shampoo and conditioner, or just the shampoo?”

“Both,” Lauren answers, tapping against the side of the bathtub. “Does this mean I’ll smell like you? Because you have a different shampoo and conditioner to me, so I’ll smell like you, won’t I?”

“Probably,” Camila starts running her fingers through Lauren’s hair, and Lauren feels like she could go to sleep, because it’s ridiculously relaxing. “But that’s not much of a bad thing. Just shows people that we love each other so much we even smell the same.”

“Yes, we’re in love.” Lauren smiles to herself and leans up to kiss Camila. “My heart is always happy now I have you.”

“I’m so glad I met you, Lo.” Camila starts gently washing out the shampoo. “You’re my best friend. Everything about you makes me so fucking happy.”

“I remember- um, when I met you, and you looked so pretty and I remember how the light was hitting you and it made your eyes look like melted chocolate,” Lauren rambles, “I thought you were beautiful and I wanted- um, I think that’s when I started to like you, but I didn’t realise until we slept over at your house that time. And then I wasn’t going to tell you because I thought you wouldn’t like me back, but then Manibear told me that I should say something, and then you found out about Austin liking you and I realised that if someone else liked you, they could end up being your girlfriend or boyfriend and… I didn’t want that to happen. So then I was going to ask you out but…”

“But we were interrupted,” Camila finishes for her as she massages the conditioner into Lauren’s scalp. “You should’ve said something, baby. I would’ve told him you asked me first, because you did. Technically.”

“I think at that point you would’ve preferred to go with him.” Lauren closes her eyes and shuffles further back so she’s closer to Camila. “Because that was when you were still- um, kind of… getting things wrong. You’d touch me without telling me or signalling with your hand like you do now, and it would make me upset.”

“Like I’ve told you, I’d never met an autistic person before.” Camila says, “That’s not an excuse, but it just took me a little while to adjust.”

“You’re good at it now though,” Lauren assures her, “you never make me upset.”

“Good,” Camila kisses her cheek. “We have to leave the conditioner in for a few minutes and then I’ll wash it out. How about you give me that bubble moustache I was promised?”

Lauren grins and leans forwards to scoop up some bubbles, not picking up on Camila’s small gasp from behind her. “Yes, I’m great at this. It’ll be fun. You might get some bubbles up your nose though.”

“Lauren…” Camila stops her and Lauren feels cool fingers on her back. “What happened to your back, baby?”

Lauren blinks. “I told you not to look at my back.”

“I didn’t. Not on purpose. You leaned over.” Camila explains herself and Lauren feels her girlfriend’s cool fingers run across her skin. “What happened to it? Why do you have all of these scars here?”

Lauren squirms uncomfortably as Camila runs her fingers along the scars on her lower back, and she taps against the side of the bathtub to calm herself down. “I don’t- um… someone hurt me. When I was little. But it’s okay now, because they’re gone. I don’t like to think about it.”

“Lo, who hurt you and where do they live so I can kill them?” Camila asks, pulling Lauren in for a hug. “God, I’m so angry. How could anyone ever try to- _ugh_ , I’ll kill them, I swear.”

Lauren shakes her head and turns around to face Camila. “I don’t like violence, but- um, they’re already dead. So it’s okay, they can’t hurt me.”

“Talk to me, Lo,” Camila squeezes her hand. “Tell me how this happened, please?”

“Um… well, I- um, my aunt,” Lauren mumbles, running a hand up and down her leg and making waves in the bathwater. “She hated me, but- um, nobody else knew that but me. I don’t know why she hated me, but- uh, she used to tell me it was because I’m the ‘r’ word, but I’m not that. And one time… my parents went away and I had to stay with her- I was really- um, it was before I started school but my family knew I had autism by that point…”

Camila looks at her weirdly, and Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, nervous. “Did she do this when you stayed at her house?”

“Yes. She was supposed to- um, look after me, but…” Lauren tries to bite back the tears she knows are coming. “She hurt me. She said- um, she said that I was a _disgrace_ to the family and that- um, I couldn’t- that I should’ve been- _Camz_ , I can’t-”

“Hey, no, it’s okay,” Camila pulls her in for a hug and Lauren tries her hardest to calm down, but it’s not working at all, because she hates thinking about bad people and the things they say to her. “It’s okay. She can’t hurt you anymore. Nobody can. I won’t let them.”

“She said that-” Lauren starts, before burying her face into Camila’s shoulder not even bothering to hold back her tears anymore, “she wishes I was never born. Like my mom did that time she was really angry. That’s why- um, why I didn’t talk to my mom for a month, because it reminded me of…”

“Of your aunt hurting you?” Camila asks, and Lauren nods into her girlfriend’s neck. “Do your parents know about it?”

“Um… they came back from their trip early and- uh, they found me hurt. Chris was fine, but- um, I wasn’t. And they said that-” Lauren uses Camila’s fingers to stim and focuses on anything other than the horribly vivid memory. “They never spoke to my aunt again and they pressed charges. I don’t know if she did any jail time but she died a few years ago. But she still- um, I still have the scars from what she did. She held me down and- um, burnt me with her curling iron.”

Camila kisses Lauren’s temple and pulls her in for a tight hug. “If she wasn’t already dead, trust me, she would be now because I’d go and hunt her down myself. God, I fucking hate her, Lo. Nobody is allowed to hurt you.”

“I don’t-” Lauren shifts so she’s sat between Camila’s legs and takes her girlfriend’s hands, making sure they’re wrapped around her midriff. “I don’t like thinking about it. Because she hated me for being- she made me feel like… I hate her too, Camz. Because I’m not bad, I’m good, I’m just different. But now I have…”

Lauren reaches behind her and touches the scars on her back, frowning to herself. “Now I have these. And it’s bad because it’s what she did. I want it to go away, but I don’t think it will.”

“I hate that people have hurt you before, Lo. I hate that people are so- that they’re so horrible to you just because you think a little differently.” Camila says. “I hate that _I_ was so horrible to you in the start. I hate that I called you the ‘f’ word, because it means I’m no better than your awful aunt. I hurt you too. Just in a different way.”

“No, Camz,” Lauren turns around and cups her girlfriend’s face in her hands. She tries her hardest to maintain eye contact as she talks. “You love me. You just fucked up one time. It’s different. My aunt- she did it on purpose. You didn’t. You committed a _crime of passion_ , which means you only get jail time. But- um, she just committed a crime, so she deserves the death penalty.”

“She deserves twenty million death penalties.” Camila agrees, and Lauren hums to herself. “I wish I could change peoples’ views, Lo. I wish I could make everyone see how perfect you are.”

“It’s okay. I don’t talk to bad people.” Lauren tells her, because it’s true. If someone messes up too much, she stops talking to them. “I’m happy now. I have you and my friends and I am happy because you all understand me. And I have the best girlfriend in the world, so…”

“I love you so much, Lauren,” Camila murmurs as she leans in to kiss her. “You’ve made me so- you changed me. For the better. And I just want you to know that I’ll always love you. Nothing will ever change my opinion.”

“I love you too, Camzi,” Lauren wraps her arms around Camila’s waist. “You’re my angel.”

“If anyone does anything to upset you, even if it’s only minor, I want you to tell me.” Camila reminds her. “I’ll be there to defend you. Trust me, if I could punch your aunt’s corpse, I’d go ahead and do that right now.”

Lauren frowns at the mental image. “That seems a little pointless. If you knew me when she was alive, I could’ve given you her address and you could’ve just punched her normally. I don’t like violence, but she- um, she hurt me and gave me burns. So I don’t care what happened to her. Can you wash my conditioner off now, please?”

A little stunned at the change in topic, Camila nods. “Yeah, sure. Just- promise me that this… that nobody else hurt you when you were little. Both physically and emotionally.”

“One time Chris pushed me down the stairs by accident and I broke my arm.” Lauren recalls, trying to think of other times she was hurt when she was little. “And I cracked my head open when I was at a park and I fell off a swing because Dinah was pushing me too high.”

“No, Lo, I mean… like, intentionally.” Camila explains. “Has anyone else ever hurt you intentionally?”

“Well, not aside from bullies when I was little, but- um, Mani, Dinah and Ally made them stop.” Lauren taps against the side of the bathtub. “But… the thing with my aunt was the worst thing. Nothing as bad as that has happened. Emotionally- sometimes when my mom would shout at me when I was little, but… um, she doesn’t do that anymore. My mom loves me and she doesn’t shout anymore, and I’m not mad at her for shouting a lot before because it’s- um, hard on her. Because I was hard to handle when I was little.”

“You’re not hard to handle, Lo,” Camila is quick to assure her, “you’re so calm and well-mannered and gentle. That’s hardly ‘hard’.”

“No, when I was little. You weren’t there.” Lauren clarifies. “I had a lot of- um, tantrums. And I would get frustrated really easily and hit out sometimes, but I don’t do that anymore. And I couldn’t talk very well, so I couldn’t tell people what I needed. It was harder back then. You met me when I was older and I can speak properly now and I don’t hit and sometimes I go into sensory overload and get stressed out but it’s not- it’s not as hard. It’s different now.”

“Have you spoken to your mom yet about the things she does?” Camila asks. “Like… the eye contact stuff?”

Lauren shakes her head and plays with the bubbles. “I try to, but she’s busy a lot of the time with work and I don’t want to interrupt her, because she works really hard.”

Camila hums in thought. “It’s sweet that you’re being so considerate, but it’s kind of important that you get your mom to understand the things you want and need.”

“I will speak to her soon.” Lauren tells her and squeezes her hand. “Can you wash the conditioner out now, please? I want to get dry so we can watch movies and snuggle.”

“Alright, baby,” Camila pulls Lauren back to her and gently washes the conditioner out of her hair. “We’re not watching _The Lion King_ , though. We’ve watched that like six times in the past week. I think I’m all _Lion King_ ed out. _Lilo and Stitch_ maybe?”

“Yes, we can watch _Lilo and Stitch_ instead.” Lauren says, although she is a little disappointed that they’re not going to watch her favourite movie. But Camila has a point, they _have_ watched it a lot. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the thing- um, the thing that my aunt did. I just… I didn’t want you to worry or freak out. I will tell you more things about my past if you want. Happy things this time, because I think I’ve only told you upsetting things.”

Camila smiles at her as she washes the conditioner out of Lauren’s hair. “Okay. What’s your favourite childhood memory?”

“Oh, when I went to Disneyworld for the first time.” Lauren beams as she thinks back to their two week trip to Disneyworld, and it was possibly her favourite thing in the entire world. “I was ten, and- um, my mom and- and there were parades and… Nala on a float, and-”

“Lo, slow down,” Camila laughs and kisses her temple, “you’re trying to get everything out all at once, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Lauren takes in a deep breath and tries to slow down, but she’s so excited and she wants to tell Camila absolutely everything. “I met loads of different Disney characters and my mom bought me a Simba to go with my Nala, but I never really cuddle with Simba, because Nala is my cuddle buddy. Dinah sometimes cuddles with Simba, but she told me not to tell anyone.”

Camila laughs. “Well, now I have something to hold over her. Thanks, Lo. But what was your favourite part of Disneyworld?”

“Um… I loved the parades. There was a parade and it had lots of different characters on it and there was a _Lion King_ float and I loved it so much. The music was kind of loud though.” Lauren adds as an afterthought. “I loved Splash Mountain too, that was my favourite ride. And- um, Space Mountain, but I didn’t go on that the first time I went because I was too short. I like big rides, they’re really fun.”

“You’re a braver woman than I,” Camila smiles and finishes off washing Lauren’s hair. “I’m a wimp when it comes to rides. When I save up enough money to take you to Disneyworld, you’re going to have to hold my hand on all of the big rides.”

Lauren blinks in confusion. “You want to take me to Disneyworld?”

“Only for a few nights, but yeah. It sounds like it’d be fun since you’re such a Disney nerd and I’m a secret one myself.” Camila shrugs. “It’d be a nice little getaway. Maybe in summer vacation?”

“I- okay, but you’re not- I won’t let you pay for everything.” Lauren says, tapping on Camila’s hand. “I want to split it. Halfsies. I’ll pay for you and you’ll pay for me and we can both be chivalrous.”

“Okay, I can agree with you on that.” Camila grins. “We’ll both work out the costs and then save up.”

“Good.” Lauren smiles to herself and squeezes Camila’s hand. “I’m looking forward to that. Maybe I’ll buy you a stuffed animal that’s your favourite Disney character. You could get me a Mufasa and I can collect all of the _Lion King_ plushies.”

“This already sounds like the best vacation ever,” Camila runs a hand through Lauren’s hair and then her arms settle around her girlfriend’s midriff again. “We can take loads of baths together there, too. And I can wash your hair for you and treat you like the princess you are.”

“You’re a princess too.” Lauren is quick to remind her. “And I’ll treat you like a princess as well. We’re both princesses, we look after each other and we’re going to go on all the rides together.”

“Yeah.” Camila beams. “And you’ll hold my hands on all of the big ones.”

“Will this definitely happen, Camzi?” Lauren asks. “Because I want to plan it and make a schedule and-”

“It’ll definitely happen, Lo.” Camila interrupts. “You can go ahead and be all cute and organised about it. I’ll let you do all of that, because let’s be honest, I kind of suck at planning.”

“But that’s okay, because you have me to plan things for us both.” Lauren points out, already mapping out their first day in her head. “I will make a really good schedule, I promise. I’ll show it to you and get your opinions before we go, in case there’s any amendments I need to make.”

“Okay, honey,” Camila says, shifting a little. “Do you want to get out now? Movie time and all that. I’ll dry your hair for you first.”

“Yes,” Lauren smiles and squeezes Camila’s hand. “I love it when I get my hair blow dried.”

As they get out of the bath and Camila starts to get dressed, Lauren stops her before she can put on her skirt and top. “Camz?” Can we- um, stay like this? In underwear?”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip as if she’s trying to supress a smile. “Of course we can.”

“Good.” Lauren smiles as she finishes drying herself off and pulls on her bra and underwear, smiling to herself as she counts the little lion patterns on them. “I would like to sleep with you tonight like this.”

Camila pauses in surprise. “You want to sleep with me?”

“Well, I was going to sleep with you anyway, but I want to sleep in our underwear and cuddle.” Lauren voices her train of thought. “And we can- um, hold each other and be really close.”

“ _Oh_ ,” Camila lets out a laugh and nods. “Okay then. That’s cool. We can cuddle in our underwear.”

Lauren smiles in satisfaction. “Good. I will go and put the movie on and then we can cuddle.”

She leaves Camila in the bathroom and logs into her girlfriend’s computer, careful her hair isn’t dripping anywhere, and heads straight to Netflix. Instead of watching _Lilo and Stitch_ , she decides to put _Frozen_ on, because she knows it’s one of Camila’s favourites.

When her girlfriend comes back she lets her dry her hair, and then gets as comfortable as she can with one arm wrapped around Camila and the other around Nala as they play the movie.

She’s asleep by the second song.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for underage drinking. Also trigger warning for extreme fluff.

Camila isn’t really much of a party person, but when Dinah invites her along to a house party, she decides to go since she has a free night – Lauren is at Lucy’s house for dinner, so it’s not like she could use her girlfriend as an excuse.

Naturally, to get her into the ‘party spirit’ more, Dinah gets her drunk. By her sixth drink, Camila doesn’t really care about the party – what she cares about is Lauren, and that’s where she wants to be right now. With her adorable, amazingly sexy, Disney loving girlfriend.

She pulls her phone out of her pocket, ignoring the fact that it’s literally midnight, and calls her girlfriend, waiting until she hears a tired _hello_ through the phone. “Lolo! Hey! I’m at this dumb party that Dinah made me go to and it fucking sucks. You know why?”

 _“Camz?”_ Lauren murmurs through the phone. “ _Are you okay?”_

“I’m fine, but this party sucks because you’re not here.” Camila announces, making her way out of the house and staggering down the street. “I’m going to come to your house. I want you, baby.”

“ _Well, it’s quite late and I’m really tired.”_ Lauren says, her voice extra raspy from sleepiness. _God_ , that rasp makes Camila just want to go over more thanks to the ever more apparent ache between her legs. “ _Also, it’s really unexpected and you didn’t tell me you were coming over tonight.”_

“I wasn’t planning on coming over, but I need you, Lo. I love you.” Camila says, wandering in the general direction of Lauren’s house. “I’m on my way now. _God_ , Lo, you don’t know how much I fucking want you right now.”

“ _You sound weird_.” Lauren tells her, and Camila scoffs, because she’s not being weird at all. She’s just had a little bit to drink. “ _Are you okay? What happened at the party you went to?”_

“It sucked because you weren’t there.” Camila murmurs through the phone, thanking god that the house the party was at isn’t that far from Lauren’s place. “I had a lot of alcohol, though. Dinah gave it to me.”

“ _Oh, you’re drunk right now_.” Lauren realises. “ _That’s why you sound weird. Are you still coming over, then?”_

“Yep, I wouldn’t miss being with my Lolo bear. Or my Lolo lion, since you love lions so much. And your hair is like your mane.” Camila laughs to herself at the mental image of Lauren wandering around in a lion onesie. “I’m outside your house, baby girl. Come and rescue your princess.”

With that, Camila hangs up the phone and staggers onto Lauren’s porch, nearly knocking over a few plant pots in the process. When the front door swings open and she sees her girlfriend stood in her pyjamas with Nala tucked under one arm, Camila beams and practically launches herself at her.

“Lolo,” Camila lets herself take in Lauren’s warmth and smiles when she feels her girlfriend gently trace circles on her back. “I missed you, angel. I haven’t seen you for… for thirty days and thirty nights.”

“You saw me yesterday.” Lauren points out, pushing her away slightly. Camila pouts, because she wants to cuddle her girlfriend. “You smell really bad. Like beer. I hate beer. I like wine though.”

“You’re so- like, _profound_ , Lauren.” Camila ignores her girlfriend’s complaints about her choice of alcohol. “Tell me some wonderful things about the world. Things like your soulmates theory or like galaxies. Just talk to me.”

“Um… can we go upstairs?” Lauren doesn’t wait for Camila’s answer and pulls her up the stairs. “I was asleep when you called and I want to go back to sleep. You can stay and cuddle me if you want.”

Camila pouts. “But Lolo. I want you. I can’t be with you if you’re asleep the whole time. That’s no fun.”

“But I’m tired.” Lauren murmurs, tapping on her leg. “You didn’t tell me you were going to come over.”

“I’m sorry, baby. I just really fucking love you, Lo,” Camila rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder as they sit down on the older girl’s bed. “Like… you’re just so… you’re _everything._ You’re an ethereal goddess and I’m so fucking in love with you. My heart does fucking backflips when I think about you.”

“Thank you. I love you too.” Lauren gets back under her covers and Camila pulls off the dress she’s wearing before joining her. “Are you going to sleep over?”

“Yeah.” Camila buries her face in Lauren’s neck. “I love our sleepovers. They’re the fucking best. I’m sorry, I’m swearing a lot, aren’t I? Either way, our sleepovers are like, iconic. Like, I’d marry our sleepovers if I could. That’s such a second grade thing to say, isn’t it? Like if you love lions so much, why don’t you marry them?”

Instead of frowning or asking her what she means, Lauren laughs. “You’re really drunk right now, Camz. Drunk you is funny.”

“I want to see drunk _you_. I bet you’ll be like a precious little flower.” Camila shifts so she’s sat on Lauren’s lap and tries to tap her girlfriend on the nose. Instead, she pokes her in the cheek. “Do you have any vodka? We can do shots and get you drunk too.”

“Um… no thank you. I don’t like the feel of hangovers the next day.” Lauren replies, brushing her fingers through Camila’s hair. “I will look after you tomorrow when you’re hungover. I promise.”

“You’re such a kitten,” Camila ruffles Lauren’s hair, “kitty Lolo. Thinks she’s a big ass lion or something but is actually a kitty. But a badass kitty.”

Lauren laughs again. “You make no sense, Camzi.”

“I love it when you do that thing and make- what’d you call it? –invisible art on my skin. You’re just…” Camila curls up to Lauren and snuggles as close as she can. “You’re my Lolo and I want to be with you all the time. Promise me that we’ll go to the same college and that we’ll live together in a cute little apartment and we’ll just… not be far away. Please don’t go far away.”

“I’d never go far away.” Lauren assures her, nuzzling her face into Camila’s neck. She dots a few kisses across Camila’s face, taking her time to kiss her forehead, her temple, and her cheek before finally landing on her lips. “I’ll always be with you. I’d never leave. I promise that we’ll do all of that stuff you said, if you still want it by the time we’re starting college.”

“I’ll always want it.” Camila looks up and straddles her girlfriend, leaning down and pecking kisses along her neck. “I’ll always want you.”

“Okay, um-” Lauren shifts underneath her and taps on her leg. “Do you want to make out?”

“I do,” Camila says before pulling Lauren up to kiss her. “So much. God, I want to do so many things with you, Lo.”

Lauren turns her head to the side so Camila can’t cut her off with a kiss. “Like… um, sexual things? Things that I’m not ready for yet? Are you going to make me-”

“I told you I wouldn’t make any more moves like that.” Camila pulls her in for another kiss and tries something new, biting Lauren’s bottom lip. “Even though I’m so fucking hot for you right now, like… ridiculously. I guess I’m a horny drunk. But _god_ , when you’re ready… it’s going to be fucking amazing. I already know that.”

“I was thinking about that, actually,” Lauren fiddles with Camila’s fingers. “I will do it eventually, but I don’t think I’m ready just yet. Because- um, it’s new and it’s scary. But one day. I will surprise you.”

“Okay,” Camila kisses her again, “One day, babe. You let me know when you’re ready.”

“I will,” Lauren squeezes her hand and kisses her knuckles. “I love you, Camzi.”

“I love you too. _God_ , I love you, Lauren,” Camila squeezes Lauren as tightly as she can. “Am I telling you I love you too much? I don’t want you to think I’m clingy, baby.”

Lauren snorts. “You could never tell me that too much.”

“Good then. That’s a relief.” Camila murmurs into Lauren’s neck. “Because I love you so much. I just feel so much love for you tonight, you know? Like my heart is telling me _damn, Mila, you really need to show Lauren how much you appreciate her._ Alcohol is really bringing out my affection.”

“That’s good, I guess. I like your affection.” Lauren smiles and kisses her cheek. “I love attention from you.”

“I just- it makes me so angry when I think about how much you’ve been hurt in the past, Lo,” Camila voices her train of thought and pulls Lauren’s shirt up, her fingers tracing along the scars on her girlfriend’s back. “I’m so fucking angry when I think about someone hurting you. Nobody is allowed to touch you, you’re my Lolo lion and I will protect you forever. I just- you’re so sweet and gentle and loving and people are fucking jerks and- god, I’m so _angry_. Everyone should appreciate you so much more than they do.”

“It’s okay, Camzi.” Lauren pulls her pyjama shirt back down and shifts to hold Camila properly. “I don’t mind it as long as I have people who can make me happy. I don’t need anyone else. Not now I have you.”

Camila wraps her legs around her girlfriend’s waist, giving her a koala hug. “You deserve the universe, Lauren.”

“You are the universe.” Lauren replies. “So I already have it.”

“Why do you always do that?” Camila sits up and pushes her hair back, letting out an exasperated sigh. “I try to be romantic and you always beat me by saying something ten times sweeter back. Like, let me be the romantic one for once, Lauren Michelle. _God_.”

“I- are you mad at me?” Lauren blinks in confusion and starts clenching her fingers. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t upset me. I’m the farthest thing from mad, Lo. I’m so fucking in love with you.” Camila sighs and rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder again. “You’re just better at this than me.”

Lauren frowns at her. “I don’t think I’m very good at the relationship things a lot of the time. Like- um, you said that most couples have already had sex, but we haven’t because I don’t want to yet.”

“No- Lo, you don’t have to feel bad about that, I’d wait forever for you.” Camila nuzzles into Lauren’s neck. “I meant with the words. You’re so good at making me smile but I suck at being all cute and romantic like you. I try but you’re always better at it.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Maybe that’s just… the thing I’m good at. Like, you’re better at the physical stuff, you know?”

“But- I don’t _know_ if I’m better at that. You’re a really good kisser, and it’s not like I’ve ever had a relationship before. When we finally take that final step it’ll be my first time too, and I might suck and disappoint you.” Camila lets out a loud sigh. “That’s the last thing I want to do, because I fucking love you. Like- _god_ , you’re everything to me and I just… I want to make everything amazing for you.”

“You already have, I promise.” Lauren assures her. “But- um, I didn’t know I was a good kisser.”

“God, you’re so good.” Camila murmurs, “You can kiss me fucking anywhere and it’d be like heaven.”

“I- um, I don’t know what to say to that.” Lauren runs her fingers through Camila’s hair. “Aside from thank you. You’re a good kisser too. That’s why I said you’re better at the physical stuff. Because you’re ready to- um, to have sex. But I’m not.”

“I’m _ready_ , yeah, but I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.” Camila murmurs, “I’m as freaked out at you, though.”

“You’re still- um, you’re supportive,” Lauren tells her. “You look after me and let me do things first so I can see what you’re going to do to me. And you’re just wonderful.”

“Lolo, I want to give you the fucking universe. I want to give you everything. I want to take away any pain, any suffering. I just want you to be happy.” Camila rambles, “I never want you to be hurt. You’re my precious little nugget and I love you.”

“I’m a nugget?” Lauren blinks in confusion. “Okay. I’m a nugget.”

“Yeah, my precious Lolo nugget.” Camila grins. “You know what I really want now? Some chicken nuggets.”

Lauren snorts. “Of course you do. You’re always hungry.”

“Lolo, take me to McDonald’s? I’ll buy you a happy meal.” Camila wagers, but it doesn’t seem to work very well. “I’m really craving chicken nuggets.”

“We have some chicken nuggets in the freezer, I think.” Lauren taps on her leg. “We can’t go to McDonald’s because it’s late. But I’ll make you some chicken nuggets here.”

“You’re so considerate. I fucking love that about you.” Camila taps Lauren’s nose and smiles when her girlfriend scrunches her face up in surprise. “You’re so damn cute but also so damn sexy. I don’t know how you do both. You’re just- you’re unreal, Lo. I don’t think you’re real.”

“Of course I’m real.” Lauren murmurs. “You’re being really existential right now.”

“Because you’re being too damn perfect. Let’s go make chicken nuggets, then.” Camila pulls Lauren up and walks her to the door. “Unless you want to go to sleep and I’ll just make them myself.”

Lauren hums. “You’re very drunk right now. I’m not going to let you handle a hot oven by yourself.”

“See? You’re wonderfully considerate.” Camila reiterates as they walk down the stairs and into Lauren’s kitchen. She sits herself down at the table and rests her head on her hands. “Go ahead, baby. Make me some nuggets. I’ll be over here starting at your amazing ass.”

Lauren rocks herself on her heels. “You- um, like my butt, don’t you? That’s what you said to Dinah. You said you wanted to touch it.”

“I do, but not when I’m drunk, you know?” Camila says. “I want to be fully aware of what I’m doing when I touch your ass. I’m perfectly content to stare for now.”

Lauren starts digging through the freezer for the food. “Okay. You can stare if you want. I’m okay with-”

“ _Lauren Michelle_ , what the hell are you doing at this time of night?” Both Lauren and Camila jump out of their skins when Clara comes into the room. She doesn’t seem to notice Camila, and grabs the bag of chicken nuggets out of Lauren’s hands, pointing to the door. “Upstairs. Now. You know better than to be up at this time.”

“But- um, Camz is drunk.” Lauren points to Camila, looking down at her feet. “And she wanted chicken nuggets, so I’m making her them.”

“Oh,” Clara notices Camila and passes Lauren the chicken nuggets again. “Just this once, then. But don’t let me catch you doing this again.”

“I- um, you won’t.” Lauren murmurs, tapping on the counter. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“Look at me when you’re speaking, Lauren.” Clara says, and Camila frowns as Lauren drags her gaze up to meet her mom’s. “Good girl.”

“Don’t make her do that.” Camila blurts out, nearly toppling off the chair she’s sat in. “Lolo doesn’t have to look at you. She doesn’t like it and you shouldn’t force her. You’re her _mom_. Be good to her. Be good to my Lolo lion. I love her and she’s- _god_ , she’s perfect the way she is.”

As Camila stands up and staggers towards Lauren, Clara frowns. “Lauren probably hasn’t told you that her doctor says she can get better at making eye contact with people. We just need to make some improvements for-”

“You can’t improve on perfect.” Camila wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist and snuggles her face into her neck. Then, she wanders over to Clara, still holding onto Lauren as tightly as she can. “Look at her. You and Mike- you created perfection. She’s _perfection_. An ethereal goddess. And I’m going to- um, she will be my wife. One day.”

Lauren turns bright red and taps against Camila’s arm. “Thank you, Camzi.”

Camila smiles to herself and looks back to Clara. “Lauren’s going to make me chicken nuggets now. She’s so considerate, thank you for raising her to be so chivalrous. She’s so good to me.”

“Thank you,” Clara looks between them and laughs, “Lauren, make sure you give her some aspirin before she goes to sleep. It seems like she’ll need it.”

“I will,” Lauren keeps her gaze trained on her mom’s neck. “I’ll look after her.”

“See? Chivalrous as hell.” Camila dots kisses on Lauren’s cheek, beaming when her girlfriend giggles and kisses her properly. “She makes me so happy. So don’t try to change her, because she’s perfect as she is and I don’t want her to be different. It would make me sad because she’s my Lolo lion. My precious little nugget.”

Instead of replying, Clara just frowns and heads towards the door. “I’ll wake you two up in the morning. Keep it down.”

Once her mom’s footsteps have faded, Lauren turns to Camila and rocks herself on her heels. “Thank you for standing up for me. Most people don’t. Especially since she’s my mom.”

“I’m not going to let anyone upset you.” Camila murmurs into Lauren’s neck. “Ever. You’re my Lolo lion and I’m going to marry you. Not right now, obviously, I don’t have a ring, but eventually. When we’re in college. Or when we’ve graduated from college and you’re a famous artist and I’m a famous musician.”

“You want to marry me?” Lauren blinks in confusion. “Why?”

“Because I love you, dumbass,” Camila rolls her eyes and puts the chicken nuggets in the oven herself. “And before you say you’re not a dumbass, it was a joke. I know you have a 5.0 GPA, you say it like _every day_.”

“I don’t- I don’t say it that much. Just when I’m telling people I’m smart.” Lauren points out. “Some people think I’m stupid because I’m autistic. But my GPA proves I’m not. I won an-”

“An award for being the smartest person in the entire _world_. You’re like a genius, Lo.” Camila points out, sitting back down at the table again. “It’s not fair. I wish I was a genius.”

“I’m- um, I’m not a genius, I don’t think.” Lauren murmurs. “I’m just- um, regular smart. Because geniuses make things. Like Einstein and the theory of relativity. I haven’t made any theories. Aside from theories about my favourite TV shows.”

“You’re such a _nerd_. I love that about you. Lo, you’re so adorable.” Camila grabs her girlfriend’s cheeks and squeezes them. “You’re my little cupcake. You’re just so- oh my god, just cuddle me.”

Lauren wraps her arms around Camila and kisses her temple. “There. I’m cuddling you. But, uh, I’m not a cupcake. I’m your Lolo lion. Remember?”

“Yes, you’re my Lolo lion.” Camila snuggles up against Lauren and sighs in content. “God, I fucking love this, Lo. I love being with you. You make everything so much better.”

“I do?” Lauren smiles to herself. “Good. I’m glad I make you as happy as you make me. Because I try my best to.”

“You’re just- you’re a perfect little human being. And you’re all mine.” Camila says, mostly to herself. “I need to slide into Jesus’ DMs or something and ask him what the fuck I did to deserve you.”

“You’re meant for me.” Lauren says, squeezing Camila’s hand. “You’re my romantic soulmate and you’re my Camz.”

“And you’re my chicken nugget chef. You’re so courteous and it makes me love you even more. Like, you nearly got in trouble with your mom to make me chicken nuggets.” Camila rambles. “That’s like, such a huge sacrifice.”

Lauren laughs as she gets the chicken out of the oven. “You’re really funny when you’re drunk. What was the party like?”

“Boring because you weren’t there. But you don’t like parties, so you wouldn’t be there.” Camila says. “I mean, I don’t even like parties, but you were busy with Lucy so I didn’t have anything else to do. Did you have fun with her?”

“Yes, we watched a movie and ate pizza. She talked about Vero and I talked about you, and I told her that we love each other and I told her about our bath.” Lauren recounts, smiling to herself. “She told me that she thought it was a good idea, and she’s going to take a bath with Vero now.”

Camila laughs. “Yeah, I have the _best_ ideas. I’m just really insightful, what can I say?”

Lauren kisses her and hands her a plate of chicken nuggets. “There you go. Hopefully they’re okay, considering I nearly got shouted at for making them.”

Not caring that they’re basically straight out of the oven, Camila eats a chicken nugget and burns her tongue. “They’re hot. They’re great, but they’re really hot. Like you.”

“I- um… yeah, I’m sexy.” Lauren smiles to herself and rocks on her heels. “Can we go back to my room now? I’m tired.”

“Okay, baby girl,” Camila grins and tugs Lauren up the stairs, nearly tripping and dropping her chicken nuggets everywhere. She snorts with laughter as Lauren pulls her back into her bedroom, and carefully sets the nuggets down on Lauren’s bedside table. “I nearly dropped them. Maybe you should’ve carried them.”

“Yes, maybe,” Lauren yawns and snuggles back under her covers, pulling Nala up to her chest. “I’m sorry if I fall asleep. I’m really tired.”

“That’s okay. I’ll just sit here and eat my nuggets.” Camila says, a little bit more preoccupied by the chicken to pay too much attention to what Lauren is saying. She just runs her fingers through her girlfriend’s hair with one hand and eats with the other. By the time she’s finished, Lauren is fast asleep.

So, Camila puts her plate down on Lauren’s bedside table and snuggles up to her girlfriend, tracing patterns along Lauren’s pale stomach until she falls asleep herself.


	27. Chapter 27

Camila is woken up by someone jumping on her bed, and she immediately pulls the sheets up to cover her head. “Sofi, go away. I’m sleeping in.”

“It’s not Sofi,” Lauren says, “She let me in, though. She said I should jump on you. And she keeps calling me Lamp.”

Camila sits up, because she’s willing to talk to her girlfriend. She just didn’t want to be roped into a game of hide and seek or something. “Hey, baby. I didn’t know you were coming over.”

“I- um, decided to surprise you. Because it’s your birthday.” Lauren grins and squeezes Camila’s hand. “Happy birthday, Camz.”

Not caring that she probably has really bad morning breath, Camila kisses her girlfriend. It’s only a little peck, and Lauren pouts when she pulls away, but whatever. The tongue can come after she’s brushed her teeth. “Thanks for coming over, Lo.”

“I- um, I asked your mom if I could use your kitchen to make you breakfast. It’s eleven, and I decided to make some bacon for you. Your mom is supervising it while I came up here to wake you up.” Lauren taps on her leg. “I have- um, a plan. For today. I want to make your seventeenth birthday really special… because we’re the same age now. But yes. Do you want to hang out with me today?”

“I would love to hang out with you, Lolo.” Camila beams as Lauren traces patterns on her bare upper arm. “I can’t wait to see what you’ve planned.”

“Good. That’s good, then.” Lauren rubs on her thigh and smiles to herself. “I was worried you’d rather spend time with your family and that’d suck because I planned this a lot. I have a schedule and I made a page in my journal for it.”

“I can spend time with my family after we’ve done whatever you’re planning.” Camila says. “What’s the plan, anyway?”

“It’s a surprise.” Lauren is quick to tell her. “And- um, I can’t ruin the surprise. Unless you want me to tell you. I don’t know how you feel about surprises.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek and gets up, stretching a little. “You can go downstairs and deal with the breakfast you’re making me. I’m going to get changed and brush my teeth and stuff.”

“Okay.” Lauren doesn’t move to get up from the bed, and taps out a pattern against Camila’s bedside table. “I am glad you’re going to let me surprise you. I was nervous that you wouldn’t because I really want to take you somewhere nice.”

Camila ruffles Lauren’s hair as she passes her to get to the bathroom. “I love you, Lo.”

“I love you too.” Lauren stands up and gestures towards the door. “I’m going to go downstairs now. I’ll see you when you’re ready.”

Apparently not caring about Camila’s morning breath, Lauren pulls her in for another kiss before skipping out of the door. Camila waits until she’s heard Lauren’s footsteps to disappear to let out the sigh of content she’s been holding, and heads into the bathroom to get ready.

She gets ready quicker than she ever has before, and doesn’t bother putting her makeup on – it’s not like Lauren is wearing any – and when she finally arrives downstairs, she takes Lauren off guard completely by kissing her. “Hey.”

“Hello,” Lauren blinks in surprise and turns around, handing her a plate with bacon, fried eggs and toast. “This is your breakfast. I told your mom that we’d be out until around eight. We’re- um, going out. And then we’re going to have dinner together at six.”

“We’re going to have dinner?” Camila frowns. “You hate restaurants.”

“It’s not- um, we’re not going to a restaurant. We’re going to my house and we’re going to make pizza.” Lauren taps on the table as they sit down. “If that’s okay. We could go to a restaurant if you want-”

“No, Lauren,” Camila interrupts her through a mouthful of bacon, “Pizza making sounds good. I’d love that. You’re such a sweetheart.”

“Okay. Good. I just want to make your birthday perfect, Camz.” Lauren watches her as she eats. “Is the bacon okay?”

“It’s perfect. Just like you.” Camila smiles, a little confused when Lauren frowns to herself. “What’s wrong?”

“Are you drunk again?” Lauren asks her. “I remember when you were drunk you’d always- um, you kept telling me I was perfect. And that you wanted chicken nuggets.”

Camila laughs, because while she only remembers pieces of that night, it’s still pretty damn hilarious. “I remember something about lions.”

“Yes, you kept calling me your Lolo lion.” Lauren smiles to herself. “I liked that, because lions are my favourite animal. They’re really brave.”

“I’ll take you to the zoo one day.” Camila promises as she passes Lauren a slice of toast. “Want some?”

“Yes please,” Lauren takes the toast from her and munches on it happily. “We could always go to the Animal Kingdom when we go to Disneyworld together. In summer. I love the Animal Kingdom and the Magic Kingdom.”

“Honestly, Lo, I want to take you for your birthday.” Camila squeezes her girlfriend’s hand across the table. “I have some money saved up from my job back at my old house, and the birthday money will help a lot. I really want to take you to the Animal Kingdom for you birthday.”

“If you do, it will be the best birthday ever,” Lauren rubs a hand along her leg and smiles to herself. “We can go on a safari, and we can look at all of the animals, and we can see them- um, in somewhere that’s kind of like their natural habitat. And- uh, there’s – Lion King, and Nala- I really-”

“Lolo, slow down.” Camila runs a thumb across Lauren’s knuckles and smiles. “Words, baby.”

“Yes, um- there’s a _Lion King_ show, and I didn’t- last time I didn’t get to see it.” Lauren says, and Camila can tell she’s straining to keep her excitement contained. “And if we go for my birthday I’ll be able to see it.”

“I’ll make sure you get to see your _Lion King_ show, Lo.” Camila leans over the table and gives Lauren a kiss, but it’d probably have been a lot nicer if her mouth wasn’t covered in toast crumbs. “So, where are we going out to?”

“Um…” Lauren looks down at her feet and taps them together under the table, as if she’s trying to zap herself back home like in _The Wizard of Oz_. “I don’t know.”

“You _do_ know,” Camila teases her, “I can tell by the little smile on your face. But if you want to keep it secret, that’s fine.”

“I will keep it secret.” Lauren smiles to herself. “I want to surprise you on your birthday.”

“Then you do that, baby,” Camila grins, “I look forward to you telling me.”

Lauren bites down on her lip to hide her smile. “I think you’ll like it, but if you don’t, it’s okay. I’m going to give you your present when we get back to my house, too.”

“An amazing day out to a mysterious location and making pizza for dinner _isn’t_ my present?” Camila blinks in surprise when Lauren shakes her head. “You didn’t have to get me a present, Lo.”

“Yes I did, because I’m your girlfriend and I want to treat you right and spoil you because I love you and you’re my princess.” Lauren murmurs, “I bought you something I hope you’ll like. I wrapped it up last night. I was going to bring it this morning but then I decided not to because I want to give it to you after dinner.”

“Alright.” Camila has to admit that she’s at least a little excited to see what Lauren has gotten her. “You wait until after dinner, then.”

“I will wait. I really hope you like it, though.” Lauren says. “It took me a long time to find the perfect thing, because I had to look through all sorts of models and it was all very confusing, but eventually I chose the right thing.”

“It’s something that has _models_?” Camila blinks. “At least I know it’s not a fridge magnet. Or body spray or something.”

“Yes, the person in the shop wasn’t very specific, so I told him to go away and used google instead. It was much more helpful.” Lauren says, and Camila tries not to laugh at the anecdote, because it’s not hard to imagine Lauren casually telling someone to go away, since she actually does it a lot. “Why are you laughing? Did I do it wrong? Should I have-”

“No, Lo. You didn’t do it wrong,” Camila smiles. “It was a good laugh. Like… a fond one. If you get what I mean.”

“Oh, yes, I know what you mean.” Lauren nods and takes Camila’s plate the second the younger girl finishes eating. “Okay, we’re going, then? Are you ready? Are you planning on putting makeup on?”

“Nope. You’re not wearing any, and I’m too lazy.” Camila takes Lauren’s hand and leads her towards the front door, giving the older girl her shoes. “Besides, I’m too excited to spend the rest of the day with my amazing girlfriend.”

“Good,” Lauren beams at her and ties her shoelaces, double-knotting them as always, and then takes Camila’s hand and leads her out to the car. “We have a twenty three minute drive minus possible traffic, so… yes. You can pick the music we play because it’s your birthday.”

“As long as you’ll sing along to it and have an in-car dance party with me.” Camila nudges her girlfriend as Lauren opens the car door for her. “Thanks, Lo. So chivalrous.”

As usual, Lauren virtually sprints around to the other side of the car to get into the driver’s side. “I don’t think I can have a dance party with you, because I have to drive, and driving takes a lot of concentration. I don’t want to be- um, distracted. I don’t want us to crash, because it’s your birthday.”

“Okay then. I’ll keep the music down low and just sing to myself, then.” Camila promises as she grabs the aux chord, putting on her favourite Ed Sheeran playlist. She smiles to herself as Lauren hums along to some of the songs, and she thinks it’s more than likely that when Lauren hums at any point today, she’ll be humming _Kiss Me_ or _Give Me Love_.

Lauren is mostly quiet for the car ride, unless the car is stopped in traffic, which she complains about with, “I hate traffic, it makes no sense. How does it even happen? People should just move their butts.”

Once they’re free of the traffic and Lauren pulls out in front of a building labelled _Miami Music Museum_ , Camila looks over at her in surprise. “We’re going here?”

“Yes. Is that- um, is that good?” Lauren asks. “I know you like music and I really love going to the art gallery, and this is- um, the same organisation own this place. So… I thought maybe you’d like it.”

“This is amazing.” Camila beams and wraps her arms around her girlfriend. “Thank you, Lo.”

“You can tell me all about the different music stuff.” Lauren offers. “I don’t really know much about music, not the theory. I sing with my dad sometimes, though.”

“I want to hear you sing properly. Maybe one day when I finish saving for my new guitar – that’ll be after Disney, I think – we can do a little duet together.” Camila suggests. “We could do one with my current guitar, but it’s kind of old and crappy. It cost my parents like $70.”

“Well… you don’t have to sacrifice a new guitar to take me to Disney for my birthday.” Lauren murmurs. “I will- um, I will wait to get my dragonfly tattoo. And I will pitch in for Disney.”

“Lo, Disney is going to be your birthday present.” Camila rolls her eyes. “You can’t pay for your own birthday present.”

“But- um, it’s really expensive. I can’t ask you to do that for me.” Lauren rubs against her thigh with her hand. “I will wait to get my tattoo and-”

“You’ve been wanting to get your tattoo for forever,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “It’s important to you and I’m not going to let you delay that. Now, come on. I want to explore this museum.”

-

After spending several hours dragging Lauren around the music museum and enthusiastically explaining all of her favourite music theory and history – which Lauren actually looks rather interested in – they finally head back to her girlfriend’s house for pizza and whatever the hell her present is.

Lauren drags her into the kitchen and shows her all of the ingredients she’d bought. “So, uh, we’re going to make the dough first. And then- um, I got a lot of different things to put on it. So we can make basically anything.”

“I think I’ll just stick with basic pepperoni. I’m not too wild, you know?” Camila smiles as Lauren gets out the flour to start making the dough. “What are you- _Lauren Michelle_!”

Camila doesn’t get to finish her sentence, because Lauren interrupts her by flicking flour in her face and sending her a sheepish grin. “Surprise.”

Camila gives her girlfriend a light shove. “I’m going to get you back when you least expect it.”

Lauren snorts. “Not if I keep the flour with me.”

“There’s plenty of other ingredients I could attack you with.” Camila elusively replies. “Maybe I’ll crack an egg over your head or something.”

“You wouldn’t, because then I’d take your birthday present back and give you a bar of soap or something.” Lauren shoots back. “Also, you love me too much to do that, and you’d have to wash my hair for me afterwards.”

Camila scoffs. “Who says I’d wash your hair for you after?”

“Me.” Lauren flicks her with flour again. “Because you love me and I’d use my puppy dog eyes to make you do it. That always makes you do things for me. I just have to be cute.”

“You’re always cute,” Camila replies, “but I have willpower. I could withstand the cute.”

Lauren rolls her eyes, and Camila has to bite back her smile, because her girlfriend is possibly the cutest thing on the planet, and both of them know that Camila’s words were bullshit. “Okay, Camz. It’s okay to be delusional.”

Camila laughs as Lauren starts mixing the dough in a bowl. “Alright then. So… speaking of my present, when do I get it?”

Lauren shrugs, frowning down at the mixing bowl. “When we’ve finished making the pizza and put them in the oven.”

“Okay.” Camila nods. “And what’s the plan for after we’ve eaten and I’ve opened my present? Movies and cuddles, I’m guessing.”

“Um… no.” Lauren surprises her completely. “We’re going back to your house. I guess we can- uh, have movies and cuddles there, though.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Camila smiles and helps her girlfriend finish mixing, laughing when Lauren goes to pick up the sticky dough and gets her hands covered. “Dumbass. Didn’t you realise it’d be all sticky?”

“It’s not like that when I make it with my mom.” Lauren wiggles her dough covered fingers. “I don’t like it. It feels bad.”

Camila kisses Lauren’s temple and helps her scrape the dough off her hands. “I think we need more flour.”

“Yes. I’m going to wash my hands. Put a little bit more flour in there.” Lauren turns on her heel and walks over to the sink, and Camila does as she says, but also realises she has the perfect opportunity to get Lauren back.

Naturally, when Lauren walks back over, Camila flicks flour in her face and bursts out laughing when Lauren scrunches up her face and lets out a little whine in annoyance. “Told you I’d get you back. You shouldn’t have trusted me with the flour.”

Lauren blinks at her and wipes as much of the flour away as she can, but her raven hair is still speckled with white as she gets back to mixing. “You’re so annoying. You don’t get your present now. _Or_ cuddles.”

Camila pouts. “Now that’s just cruel.”

“You should’ve thought about that before throwing flour at me.” Lauren says as she gets out the rolling pin. “No presents or cuddles.”

“You’d better be joking, Lolo,” Camila makes sure to kiss Lauren’s cheek and snake an arm around her girlfriend’s waist. “Because technically you’re punishing yourself, too. I don’t know how you’d function without my cuddles.”

“I’m joking.” Lauren confirms and hugs her back. “I love you. And you still get your present.”

Camila beams. “See? You’re making this the best birthday ever.”

“I am?” Lauren smiles to herself. “Good. Hopefully I’ll make your eighteenth as good, too. I will start planning that soon.”

Camila frowns at her. “How long have you been planning today?”

“A few months.” Lauren shrugs as she starts rolling out the dough. “I started really planning it when you said you’d be my girlfriend, because I knew that girlfriends need to make each other happy and I wanted to make your birthday extra special.”

“You’ve been planning my birthday for like, _five months_?” Camila blinks in surprise. “Damn, Lo. I need to step up my game for your birthday.”

“No you don’t, because you want to take me to Disneyworld.” Lauren says. “And that’ll be perfect. I have already started making schedules for that, too.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip as she watches her girlfriend flatten the pizza dough. “Lo… I really love you. You’ve already made today ridiculously special.”

Lauren passes her half of the pizza dough and smiles to herself. “I could tell you were having fun. I know that I don’t really get body language a lot of the time, but I know you really well so it’s- um, I can kind of read you. In a way. Not like an allistic person could, but… um, you do things when you’re happy, like… you kind of bounce. When you’re really enjoying yourself. And you, uh, you ramble, which I think is really cute.”

“Thank you for taking me out today.” Camila says. “I thought I’d be spending my birthday lazing around on Tumblr like I do every year, but I guess when you have the best girlfriend in the world, your birthday is going to be special.”

“You’re welcome.” Lauren replies as she delves into the fridge for all the toppings she’d bought. “I love you too, by the way. We’re nearly done, so you can have your present next.”

Naturally, at the words, Camila decorates her pizza with as many toppings as she can as quickly as she can, but she realises that she probably could’ve gone normal speed when she sees how Lauren is slowly organising her pepperonis so they’re symmetrical and that there will end up being three on each slice.

Once Lauren is finished and they put their pizzas in the oven, Camila takes her girlfriend’s hand, and practically _bouncing_ with excitement, follows her upstairs.

“Sit down on my bed and close your eyes.” Lauren says, and Camila gets herself comfortable and does as Lauren instructs. She hears shuffling, and then Lauren speaks again. “I couldn’t think of anything to get you, at first. I kept thinking about things you really like or something that you really want, and I couldn’t really think of anything. But then I overheard you talking to your mom about wanting something, and, uh… open your eyes.”

On Lauren’s command, Camila opens her eyes, and when she looks at the thing in Lauren’s hands, her jaw drops. “You didn’t.”

Lauren fiddles with the straps on the guitar case. “Um… I heard you talking to your mom about how you really wanted a new guitar, but how you were going to spend your money taking me to Disney. And… um, your mom said she’d already bought you something. I asked her before I left one night if her present for you was a guitar, and she said no, because apparently the make you wanted was really expensive.”

“Yeah, it is.” Camila looks at the guitar case, not sure if she’d rather it was empty or not. She doesn’t want Lauren to have spent loads of money on her. “So… you got me a new guitar?”

“Yes.” Lauren passes her the guitar case, and as Camila grips hold of the handle, she realises that _yeah,_ there’s definitely a guitar in there. “It’s not- um, it’s not the specific guitar you were wanting, because that was like $2500, but… um, it’s the same brand. A Taylor.”

Camila unzips the guitar case and stares down at the acoustic guitar, the beautifully smooth mahogany wood of the body and the gleaming silver strings. Then, she carefully puts it to one side and wraps her arms around her girlfriend, burying her face into Lauren’s neck. “Thank you so much, Lauren. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

Lauren kisses the top of her head. “You’re welcome. I wanted to- wait, no. Why are you crying? Do you not like it?”

“No, Lo, I love it. I love _you._ ” Camila wipes at her eyes. “They’re happy tears, baby girl. God, I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Lauren brushes through Camila’s hair with her fingers. “I’m so glad you like it. I thought maybe I’d gotten the wrong brand and I kept getting confused because the people at the store weren’t very helpful.”

“It’s perfect, Lo.” Camila assures her. “You’re perfect. I can’t believe you’re all mine.”

Lauren rests her head on Camila’s shoulder and smiles to herself. “I couldn’t be anyone else’s. You’re- um, you’re my angel. You’re meant for me.”

“Yeah. I’m meant for you.” Camila twists their fingers together and smiles to herself, because this is the most perfect birthday she’s ever had and she never wants it to end. “I can’t wait to spend forever with you, Lauren.”

“Yes,” Lauren beams as the kitchen timer beeps. “Forever with you.”

“Come on,” Camila carefully zips the guitar back up. “Let’s go and eat our pizzas.”

They go downstairs, and Camila has to admit that Lauren’s a much better chef than she is, considering all she’d done was decorate her pizza, when Lauren had made the dough and grated the cheese and made sure that everything was perfect.

(Camila doesn’t miss how Lauren cringes at her asymmetric pizza topping, too.)

They eat with Lauren’s family in the living room, Camila being the one to answer for both of them, because Lauren’s far too preoccupied with the game show on the TV, beating everyone to answer the questions.

Once they’re done, they wash up and then get in the car to go back to Camila’s, the younger Latina making sure that her new guitar is perfectly secure in the backseat of the car. When Lauren pulls up outside her house, Camila leans over and kisses her. “Thank you for an amazing day, Lo. Do you want to come in, or…?”

“I’d love to come in.” Lauren says, unbuckling her seatbelt. “Unless you want some alone time.”

“Nope. I want to soak up as much Lolo time as I can.” Camila grins and leads Lauren up the driveway, noticing how the lights are off in the house. “My family must’ve gone out. Maybe I should’ve texted to tell them I was coming home.”

“Yes, maybe.” Lauren says, rocking on her heels as Camila unlocks the front door. “We can, uh, watch movies now.”

“Sounds perfect,” Camila smiles as she opens the door, because movies and cuddles with Lauren sounds like the best plan in the world. A perfect end to a perfect day.

She doesn’t expect their friends and her family to jump out from behind couches and tables, screaming, “ _Surprise_!”

Immediately, she turns around to Lauren to make sure she’s okay, and the older girl is removing her hands from her ears. That’s when Camila realises that it’s probably another part of her plan. Either that or someone had told her about it. “Did you do this?”

“Yes,” Lauren sends her a sheepish smile. “Well, I didn’t set it up, because I’ve been with you all day, but I planned it and gave Ally, Dinah and Mani everything they needed.”

Camila props her new guitar up against a wall and pulls Lauren down for a kiss. “You are infinitely amazing. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Lauren smiles, gesturing around them. “Go and say hi to everyone. I’ll- um, take your present upstairs for you.”

“Okay.” Camila squeezes her hand and watches as Lauren heads up the stairs with her guitar in hand. Then, she heads over to Ally, Normani and Dinah, hugging all of them, surprised that they call came with presents. “You guys didn’t have to do this.”

“We couldn’t _not_ get you presents.” Dinah rolls her eyes. “You’re one of our best friends, Walz.”

Normani hums in agreement. “They’re pretty much all guitar stuff. We figured since Lauren was getting you-”

“Mani,” Ally cuts her off. “She might not have given it to her yet.”

“She walked in with a guitar case, Ally,” Dinah laughs, “Where were you?”

Ally dismisses their friends completely. “You didn’t even tell us it was your birthday soon. We had to find out from Lauren, who’d apparently been planning all of this for ages.”

“She probably stalked you to find out your birthday.” Normani laughs. “She’s basically always on your Facebook page, doing some daily scrolling.”

“I told her my birthday, actually,” Camila smiles, a little taken off guard when Sofi runs over to her, wishing her a happy birthday. “It’s her phone passcode. And hers is mine.”

“Y’all are too damn cute.” Ally comments as Camila picks Sofi up. “She’s really head over heels for you, Mila. We’ve never seen her this happy before.”

Almost as if on cue, Lauren comes back downstairs and kisses Camila’s cheek. “Hallo. Did everything, um- was setting up okay? Did you get the cake?”

“There’s _cake_?” Camila is quick to ask. “You didn’t tell me that.”

Sofi laughs. “Lamp told me about this ages ago. We all knew you were getting a guitar, too. Mami tried to convince her not to, because it was expensive.”

“Lamp?” Normani raises an eyebrow. “ _Wow_. Even _Sofi’s_ nicknames are more creative than Dinah’s.”

With a light shove to Normani’s side, Dinah rolls her eyes. “At least mine make sense. I don’t go around calling Ally an oven or you a curtain.”

“She’s called Lamp because she’s a vampire.” Sofi explains with a similar eye roll. “ _Duh_.”

“I’m not a vampire.” Lauren rocks on her heels. “I’m just a person. But I will still let you call me Lamp if you want.”

“Look at that, Ralph,” Dinah sends her a teasing smile, “you’ve won over the relatives.”

“Yes, with my _Jauregui charm_.” Lauren agrees, kissing Camila’s cheek again. “But I only really use it on Camz, because she’s who I love.”

“You’re amazing, Lo.” Camila squeezes her hand, rolling her eyes when Normani and Dinah make fake, obnoxiously loud gagging noises as Camila pulls Lauren in for a proper kiss. “Thank you for doing all of this for me. The guitar, the museum, the breakfast, the party. All of it. You made this the best birthday ever.”

“You’re welcome, Camzi.” Lauren smiles to herself. “I love you.”

And as Camila spends the rest of the night with her friends, family and absolutely wonderful girlfriend, she wonders what the hell she did to deserve Lauren Jauregui.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for emotional abuse.

Lauren knocks on the door and waits until she hears a soft “come in” to enter. She pushes open the door to her parents’ room and sits down on the bed, tapping on her legs. “Hi. I wanted to talk to you about- um, about the things Camila said to you a little while ago. When she was drunk.”

Clara frowns, but doesn’t turn around to look at her, because she’s busy applying makeup. She asks Lauren almost every day if she wants to put some makeup on, but Lauren never lets her. She’d rather Normani or Camila did it. “What do you mean by that?”

“I told her the things you said when I told you I love her.” Lauren admits, rubbing her hand up and down her thigh. “And I wanted to tell you that she loves me too. She told me first, actually. And she called me, um, a _blessing_.”

“Well, that’s good for you.” Clara turns around and sends Lauren a smile. “Look up, Lauren. We’re trying to get you better at eye contact, remember?”

“I don’t want to be better at that.” Lauren murmurs, keeping her gaze trained to her feet. “I don’t want to change. Camila says I shouldn’t have to and I agree with her.”

“Camila isn’t your mother, is she?” Clara is quick to reply. “It’s not her job to tell you what you can and can’t do. Your doctor mentioned a chance of your eye contact improving, and I’m going to take that chance. I just want what’s best for you, Lauren. Not everyone is going to be as understanding as your friends and Camila.”

“But then if they’re not going to be understanding, I shouldn’t have to talk to them.” Lauren frowns, because her dad has always told her that if someone isn’t understanding then they’re not worth keeping as a friend. “I don’t want to be friends with someone if they’re going to be mean to me.”

“It’s not a case of making friends, honey.” Clara sits down next to Lauren and squeezes her hand, and Lauren recoils, because her mom hadn’t told her she was going to do that. She looks up for a moment and sees that familiar sad expression and she feels like she wants to cry. “Some relationships in the future aren’t necessarily ones you make by choice. Like a boss/employee relationship. And there’s the case of if you and Camila break up and you find someone else-”

“But we’re not going to break up.” Lauren interrupts, unsure as to why her mother thinks that. “I love her and she loves me, and we’re not going to break up. We never will, we already said forever.”

“High school relationships rarely last.” Clara tells her. “It’s more likely that you’ll break up than stay together and you need to be aware of that. The last thing I want is for you to get hurt if Camila finds someone she can relate to-”

“She has me. She doesn’t need anyone else, because she has me. And I’m- I’m good enough.” Lauren folds her arms across her chest and looks up to Clara with a frown. “Why don’t you think I’m good enough for her?”

“It’s not that.” Clara answers. “You’re my child, you know I love you. It’s just that Camila doesn’t _have_ to love you. She might not be a constant in your life, and you need that kind of stability. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“She’d never hurt me. She loves me and- um, she thinks I’m perfect.” Lauren rubs a hand up and down her thigh and smiles when she thinks about all of the wonderful things Camila has said to her. “She’ll always look after me. She thinks that I’m perfect.”

Clara stills Lauren’s hands and frowns when she lets out a whine. “Lauren, you know you can grow out of these little ticks you have if you just _try_ , but I never see you putting in any effort.”

“I- I need them. I need to stim. It makes me- uh, feel better.” Lauren pulls her hands out of her mom’s grasp and thinks back to what Camila had told her – that Clara shouldn’t try to change her. “Camz was right. She said that I shouldn’t have to change to please anyone, and that includes you. It’s not my fault that I’m different. But I am, and that’s okay.”

“The whole world isn’t going to be as understanding as your friends. I’m being practical. You can’t get a job if you don’t look someone in the eye during an interview.” Clara points out. “I worry about you and your future.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, I’m going to be a famous artist.” Lauren announces, tapping on her leg. “I don’t need to look anyone in the eye if I’m going to be an artist. I don’t want to be anything else other than an artist. Why don’t you want me to do what makes me happy? Don’t you want me to be happy?”

“Of course I want you to be happy, Lauren.” Clara assures her. “I just want you to understand that not everyone is going to be as good to you as Camila and your friends are. Some people will be mean because they don’t understand that you can’t help a lot of the things you do. That’s why I’m trying to break you out of your habits. To dull things down around the edges a little so it’s not noticeable.”

“If they’re not willing to understand then I don’t want to be around them.” Lauren clenches and unclenches her fingers. “I don’t want to be around ableist people. You’re kind of ableist because you want me to change. That means you think I’m weird, but you’re not supposed to think I’m weird because you’re my mom.”

“I don’t think you’re weird.” Clara pulls her in for a hug, but Lauren doesn’t want to hug her, so she pulls away and keeps her distance. “I just want what’s best for you, that’s all. I want to help you fit in.”

Lauren disregards her answer, because something else is on her mind. “Do you love me less than Chris and Taylor?”

Her question is met with silence, and she isn’t sure how to react to that. But then, Clara turns to her with an expression she can’t decipher. “How could you ever think that, Lauren?”

“Well, you never got mad at them when they were little. Not like you did at me.” Lauren recalls, tapping on her leg. “You also- um, you told me you wished I was never born, but you never said that to them. I don’t think you did, anyway. And when I told Camila I love her and then told her what you said about it, she said that you were, uh, basically implying that you didn’t think she’d love me back because I’m autistic. Do you not want me because of that?”

“I don’t love you less than I love you Chris and Taylor.” Clara replies, taking hold of Lauren’s hand. Lauren doesn’t really like the feeling of it, but her mom looks sad, so she lets her. “You can’t help the way your brain works and I know that. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come since you were diagnosed. Especially with your speech. I just think that we can improve even more.”

“I don’t want to ‘improve’, because Camila says I’m already perfect.” Lauren says. “Camila is smart, even if she doesn’t think she is. And I think she’s right, I like me the way I am. Don’t you?”

“I’ll always love you, no matter what. But it’s a parent’s job to protect their child and to raise them. Your aunt-” Lauren interrupts her with a whimper, but Clara pushes through, “your aunt was abusive towards you because you were visibly different. I don’t want that to happen again just because someone thinks you’re a little odd. That’s why we need to work on things.”

“But- does that mean you think I’m odd?” Lauren frowns to herself, trying to deconstruct her mom’s words. “Are you disappointed with me?”

“Look, Lauren, sweetheart,” Clara starts, “I know you can’t help the way you are, and I know it’s harder on you that it is on anyone. But you have to understand it from a parent’s perspective too. It was so hard for me when you were younger and my friends would come over, only for you throw a tantrum because one of them was wearing an orange dress. Or when you have a breakdown in public and people look at me like I’m a bad mother because you’re making a scene. Or to think about what will happen to you when I’m not around to look after you anymore. It wasn’t easy for me or your dad to raise you. We nearly didn’t have any other kids because of how hard it was to look after you initially. I know you’ve quietened down a lot, but- it was so hard. If we have a chance at quietening things down even more, we should.”

Lauren takes in her mother’s words, and although she didn’t answer the question directly, she can tell that she meant _yes_. “You’re disappointed with me.”

Clara shakes her head. “It’s not that I’m disappointed-”

“No,” Lauren says, partly to interrupt her mom and partly to stop her from touching her. “I don’t- you hate me. You would- um, you would get rid of me if you could.”

“No, Lauren, you misunderstood me,” Clara calmly responds, “I would never hate you. I love you. You were my first baby, I’d never not love you. I was just explaining that dealing with your little... quirks... while you were a child was very hard for the family.”

“If you want to change me, it means that you don’t like me as I am.” Lauren voices her train of thought. “I don’t want to speak to you anymore. I’m going to go to Camila’s house- and um, I will not come back. Goodbye.”

“No, Lauren, wait-” Clara starts, but Lauren has already headed towards the door and decided to block out Clara’s words, because they’re not doing anything other than upsetting her.

She makes sure to stuff some clothes into an overnight bag and pick up Nala, making sure to run her hand along her stuffed animal’s fur to calm herself down before going downstairs, ignoring her mother’s call of _Lauren Michelle_. Instead of taking the car, because she has to ask her mom to do that and she’s not talking to her, she walks to Camila’s house, trying to hum but not able to, and she knows she’s gone nonverbal. She just hopes it’s Camila who opens the door.

It’s not. It’s Sofi.

“Oh, hi, Lamp,” Sofi opens the door further to let her in. “Kaki didn’t say you were coming over. She’s upstairs with some guy.”

The news upsets Lauren even more, because she knows that ‘upstairs with a boy’ means something bad, and she doesn’t want Camila to be cheating on her, because she loves Camila, and she doesn’t know what she’d do if Camila left.

Lauren drops her overnight bag on the floor by Sofi’s feet and runs up the stairs, throwing Camila’s bedroom door open and feeling terrified that she’s going to see something she doesn’t want to. Instead, she just sees Camila sat on her bed surrounded by textbooks, and Shawn at her desk.

Camila looks up in surprise. “Lauren? What’re you doing here?”

Lauren whines, because she can’t answer the question, and flops down on Camila’s bed next to her. She rests her head on Camila’s lap and grabs one of the younger girl’s hands, placing it on her hair. Camila seems to get the message, because she runs a hand through Lauren’s hair and goes back to tutoring Shawn.

Lauren tunes out their conversation and focuses on Camila’s warm fingers playing with her hair, and she fiddles with Nala to calm herself down. She keeps her eyes closed, because the lights in Camila’s room are quite bright and she wants to filter out any visual stimuli that might upset her.

“Hey, Lo, why do I have all these texts from your mom?”

Camila’s voice snaps Lauren out of her calm state, and Lauren looks up to see Camila looking down at her, and Shawn looking over at the two of them in confusion.

“I- um,” It takes Lauren a few moments to find her voice. “I ran away.”

“Well, I gathered that from the texts,” Camila holds her phone down for Lauren to read the texts on the screen.

****_Mama J (4:37PM): Is Lauren with you?_ ** **

****_Mama J (4:37PM): We were having a little talk and she left the house. I’ve driven around looking for her but she’s nowhere to be found, and I need to make sure she’s okay. She said she was coming to you when she left._ ** **

“Why’d you run away, baby?” Camila asks, locking her phone and dropping it on the bed. “And why do you look so upset?”

Lauren frowns, because the two questions are tangling together in her head. “My mom doesn’t want me. So I will stay here now.”

Shawn looks between the two of them, and realising that they're about to have a serious conversation, closes up his textbook. “I’m just going to head off and let you two talk. I’ll text you about studying again soon, Mila.”

“Okay, bye,” Camila smiles at him as he leaves and then turns back to Lauren. “What do you mean your mom doesn’t want you, Lolo?”

“She is disappointed that I’m not normal. She says that it’s hard for her and I don’t want to- um, make things hard for my family because I love them.” Lauren says. “So I’m going to stay here now. With you. Is that okay?”

“Lo, you have to go home at some point.” Camila points out, and Lauren pouts, because she doesn’t want to do that. “I’d love for you to be my live-in girlfriend, but your mom probably didn’t mean what she said. I’m not defending her by any means, because I know she’s said some fucked up things in the past, but- your family love you, Lo. And they wouldn’t be a family without you.”

“I don’t want to speak to my mom anymore.” Lauren says, fiddling with Nala. “She made me feel bad. She’s disappointed by me, so that means she doesn’t want me. But you do, you want me. So I will stay with you.”

“Your family love you, baby. Especially your parents.” Camila tells her. “Your dad is like, one of your best friends. And your mom loves you so much, she just has problems fully accepting you the way you are. I can see what she means occasionally with the things she says, mostly just because she seems to worry about you so much, she just… sucks at doing things right. Like the whole making you look at her thing. She’s trying to make you do it so fit a sort of… societal mould of ‘normal’ but it’s okay if you’re not that, and that’s the part she doesn’t get.”

“I tried to tell her that.” Lauren fiddles with Nala’s tail. “She kept interrupting me and telling me other things. It was- um, it really upset me. That’s why I ran away to you, because you understand me. But you never used to, and I was wondering how… um, how I could make my mom do that too.”

“Well, I would say just telling her what you need and things like that, but you’ve already tried that.” Camila shrugs and knots her fingers through Lauren’s raven hair. “I don’t know. Do you want me to talk to her for you?”

“Yes, because I’m not talking to her anymore.” Lauren nods and traces patterns against Camila’s stomach under her shirt. “But can I stay here? Even if it’s only for tonight. I just really want to cuddle with you and it’ll make me feel better. I’m sorry for interrupting your studying with Shawn too.”

“It’s okay, baby girl.” Camila replies. “Shawn and I can study whenever. You’re my priority. I love you and I want to make sure you’re happy.”

“I love you too, babe.” Lauren answers, sitting up to kiss Camila. “I will- um, I brought some clothes and other overnight stuff. I will stay here until you want me to leave.”

“Okay,” Camila smiles to herself. “I’ll let my parents know. Do you want to talk some more about what happened with your mom?”

“No. I would like to take my mind off it.” Lauren decides, “I want to do something nice. With you.”

Camila hums in thought. “I guess we could watch _The Lion King_.”

Lauren beams, because that’s a great way to cheer her up and she’s ridiculously happy about it. “Yes. I would love that.”

“Okay. You get comfy and I’ll go and make some popcorn and get my DVD from downstairs. I think it’s still in the player from the last time we watched it.” Camila stands up and pecks Lauren on the cheek. “I’ll be right back, Lolo. Feel free to get under the covers.”

As Camila heads out of the door, Lauren bundles herself up in the blankets on Camila’s bed, booting up the younger girl’s laptop for her, her mom’s words still ringing in the back of her head.


	29. Chapter 29

Lauren stays with Camila for a week.

Obviously, Camila doesn’t mind at all – extended periods of time with Lauren by her side are actually her favourite thing – she just doesn’t like the texts she’s been getting from Clara every day. They’re mostly just check up texts to see how Lauren is doing and when she’s coming home, but some of them are more like ‘make her come home tonight’ kinds of texts. While Camila can understand that Clara wants her daughter home, she thinks that if Lauren wants space, she should give it to her.

“Hey, Lo?” Camila gets her girlfriend’s attention, because Lauren looks like she’s about to fall asleep as they’re watching some rom com that Sinu had picked out – Lauren and Camila had nothing better to do, so they figured they’d join Camila’s parents. “Have you talked to your mom yet? Like, have you texted her or anything?”

Lauren shakes her head and pulls Nala closer to her. “No. I don’t want to talk to her. She doesn’t want me, so I will stay away. I do miss my dad and Chris and Taylor, though. And my mom, but I wouldn’t tell her that.”

“You should speak to them. I’m sure your mom wants to talk, considering you guys left things on a not so great note.” Camila points out. “Also, she keeps texting me and asking me how you are.”

“She does?” Lauren blinks in surprise. “She wants to know how I am?”

“Of course she does, she’s your mom and she loves you.” Camila assures her, running her fingers through Lauren’s hair. “I think you just… you both need to understand each other a little better. You need to listen to her point of view, and she needs to listen to yours. And then you two can talk things over and decide what’s best.”

Lauren frowns at her. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I _am_ on your side, babe,” Camila reminds her, “I’m trying to help you fix things with your mom. If that isn’t on your side, I don’t know what is.”

“But you’re defending the things she says about me.” Lauren says, fiddling with the fur on the end of Nala’s tail. “It’s like you agree with how she wants to change me.”

“No, Lo. It’s definitely not that. I think you’re absolutely perfect and I never want you to change.” Camila says, because it’s true. Everything about Lauren is what makes her who she is, and who she is is the girl Camila is hopelessly in love with. “I just want you to be happy, and I know how much your family mean to you. You’re a family girl at heart, Lo. I know it’s upsetting you to be away from them.”

Lauren sighs and shuffles on her side to look up at Camila. “I miss them. But I’m still mad at my mom and I don’t want to talk to her, because she thinks she can ‘cure’ me. But she can’t, and it upsets me that she even wants to, because it’s like she doesn’t love me for who I am.”

“You know your mom loves you, Lolo,” Camila lets Lauren play with her fingers. “She’s trying to do what she thinks is best _because_ she loves you. She just doesn’t understand that you need different things, and that’s why I think you two should talk it out. Only when you’re a hundred percent ready, though.”

“Will you be there?” Lauren asks her. “I need you to be there. In case I get upset.”

“Of course I’ll be there.” Camila promises. “Even if it’s just to hold your hand while you guys talk. You didn’t even have to ask, though. I’m your girlfriend – it’s my job to support you when you need it.”

“Oh, okay.” Lauren hums to herself and closes her eyes, curling up against Camila. “I am going to sleep now. I don’t think this movie is very interesting. Have you noticed that all romance movies follow the same formula? The boy meets the girl and they fall in love, and then they argue and break up for a bit, but then it’s all fine in the end. And even if it’s not, the boy meets another girl to chase after. It’s all rather dull and I think I’d rather nap through it. Wake me up when it’s over, though.”

Camila laughs at her girlfriend’s mini-rant. “Okay. Want me to play with your hair while you try to sleep?”

Lauren looks like she’s won a million dollars at Camila’s suggestion. “Yes please. I love it when you do that. It’s like- it’s really cool. Your hands are always warm.”

“I guess that’s a compliment.” Camila shrugs and decides to take it as one. “Thanks. I’ll see you when the boring romance movie is over.”

Lauren hums. “Okay. Goodnight, Camz.”

Camila runs her fingers through Lauren’s hair and plays practically no attention to the movie until she feels Lauren’s breathing get shallower, and she knows her girlfriend is asleep. Then, she lets her hands still and turns back to the TV, making sure to carefully rest her hands on Lauren’s waist.

They’re about an hour into the movie when there’s a knock on the door. Sinu gets up to answer it and Camila pays no attention, because she’s more concerned about Lauren, who is stirring in her arms and murmuring, “is the dumb movie over?”

Camila shakes her head and takes hold of her girlfriend’s hand. “Nope. Just someone at the door. I’m guessing it’s someone handing around flyers or something.”

“Oh,” Lauren frowns, her voice extra raspy, “well… I’m going back to sleep then.”

“Maybe that’s not such a good idea,” Alejandro interrupts them and points towards the living room door, “I think you’ll need to be conscious for this.”

Camila sits up, not sure what to expect. When she’d heard a knock on the door, she’d expected a late night delivery man or someone calling at the wrong house. Instead, it’s Michael Jauregui.

“Camila,” He greets her, before sending a rather confused and tired Lauren a smile. “Lauren. Your mom is worried sick about you.”

“I’m fine.” Lauren quickly replies, frowning as Sinu and Alejandro pause the movie and head into the kitchen. “I don’t want to talk to her because she doesn’t want me. So I made it easier for her and ran away.”

Camila looks towards the door. “Would you two like a moment alone?”

“No,” Lauren is quick to grab her arm and make sure she doesn’t leave, “I want you to stay here. You’ll defend me.”

“Okay, Lo,” Camila tangles her fingers with Lauren’s and nods to Mike, signalling him to continue. “Go on then.”

“Of course your mother wants you, Lauren. She loves you, and she’s really worried about you. She wants to talk to you about the little argument you two had, and she told me most of what happened.” Surprisingly, Mike doesn’t tell Lauren to look at him, which makes Camila a lot more relaxed. “I think it’s best that we talk things over as a family, and to do that, you need to come home.”

Lauren taps on her leg. “I don’t want to come home. I would like to- um, stay with Camz. It will make it easier on you and everyone else, because it’s hard for my family to- um, deal with me. That’s what mom said.”

“We don’t ‘deal with you’, Lauren,” Mike assures her. “We love you. And we want you to come home, your mom included. She wants to talk to you properly, as a family. Camila can come with you if that’s what would make you feel better.”

“Yes,” Lauren is quick to reply. “I will come home if Camila can come with me. And- um, I don’t want to talk to mom.”

“You don’t have to talk to her.” Mike quickly replies. “Not until you’re ready. Okay?”

“Okay.” Lauren nods to herself. “Yes. I will come home. I will go upstairs and get my bag. Camz, can you look after Nala while I go?”

“Sure, Lolo,” Camila smiles as Lauren hands over her stuffed lion, and she knows that Mike is surprised that she’s letting her touch it, because she’s been told that Lauren won’t even let her parents hold Nala. “Be quick, okay?”

“Okay,” Lauren leans down to kiss her before walking out of the room. “I will be right back.”

Once Lauren is gone, Camila is left with Mike, a rather awkward silence hanging in the air. She’s about to excuse herself and run up the stairs after Lauren, but Mike talks before she can.

“Thank you for looking after her this week.” He says, nodding in the direction Lauren had just gone in. “She hasn’t been any trouble, has she?”

“She’s never any trouble.” Camila is quick to respond. “I don’t need thanking for letting her stay here. She was upset and needed space and I wanted to give her that. I love her and I want her to be happy.”

“I don’t know what Lauren’s told you about Clara,” Mike starts, “but she means well. She has quite a short temper and Lauren used to be quite… _difficult_ when she was growing up. She’s quietened down a lot since then, and because of that, Clara thinks that maybe she’ll get better, in a way. She knows that she won’t, but… she worries about her a lot.”

“Lauren’s told me a few things. At first I was really angry when I heard about it, but I kind of get both sides. Lauren can’t help the way she is and it’s hard enough on her, and I get that Clara wants her to improve on things like eye contact for future jobs, but it’s still…” Camila pauses and sighs, “Lauren can’t change, and I think her mom wanting her to be ‘cured’ in a way is making her feel like she doesn’t love her as much as she loves her siblings.”

“That’s why I need them to talk.” Mike explains. “It’s mostly why Lauren is closer to me. She always has been, even when she was younger.”

Camila is about to reply, but Lauren cuts her off, and she hears her girlfriend’s footsteps coming down the stairs. “Dad? I have my bag. Are we going now?”

“We’re going.” Mike confirms, nodding towards the door. “Do you want to give me a hug? I’ve missed you this week.”

Lauren smiles and lets her dad hug her, before skipping over to Camila and taking her hand. “Will you sleep over at my house? I want to cuddle you.”

“Sure, Lo,” Camila nods, “whatever you want.”

“Cool. We can cuddle and watch _The Lion King_ again if I’m upset. Or maybe we can watch the sequel, we haven’t watched that in a while.” Lauren rambles as she pulls Camila towards her car. Camila gets her phone from her pocket and sends her parents a quick text, but she’s sure they probably heard everything anyway. “Or maybe the third movie, but it’s technically not the third movie because it’s _The Lion King: One and a Half_.”

Camila laughs. “Like I said, we’ll watch whatever you’re in the mood for. Maybe we could binge watch a season of _American Horror Story_.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Okay. We can do that too.”

Camila spends the car ride listening to Lauren ramble about what shows she wants to watch and how it’ll all depend on if the family talk goes well, but when they finally arrive at the Jauregui household, Lauren falls quiet. She holds Camila’s hand as they walk inside and into the living room, and Camila can practically _feel_ the tension when Lauren sees Clara, Chris and Taylor sat on the couch.

Camila, Lauren and Mike sit down on the other couch, and Lauren frowns when her mom starts talking. “Lauren Michelle, you had me so worried when you ran off. Don’t you ever do that again.”

Lauren taps on her leg and looks up to Camila. “Tell her I don’t want to talk to her.”

Thankfully, Mike speaks, and saves Camila the awkwardness of saying, _yeah, sorry, your daughter doesn’t want to talk to you._ “Lauren has mentioned that she doesn’t feel like talking much.”

Clara blinks in surprise and turns to Lauren with a frown. “Just to me?”

Lauren nods and shuffles closer to Camila, refusing to meet her mother’s eye. Camila puts an arm around her girlfriend and kisses her cheek, because she can feel the awkwardness radiating off her girlfriend.

“Well,” Camila can see the hurt in Clara’s eyes, but she knows that Lauren can’t. “Fine, then. I didn’t mean to upset you like I did, Lauren. I think I went about what I said in the wrong way, now that I’ve had time to think it over. I know that you’re never going to be _cured_. And that’s okay. I love you unconditionally. But not everyone will, and that’s what I’m afraid of. I’m worried that people will discriminate against you for being different, and if there’s improvements we can make so that won’t happen, we should try our best. We were told you’d never speak more than a few words, but we tried and look at you now.”

Lauren taps on her leg and bites down on her bottom lip, looking up at Camila with a desperate look in her eye. So, Camila decides _screw it_ , and tells the room the things Lauren has said to her. “Lauren… has told me a few things this past week she’s been with me, and I think that you saying that you want to change her has made her feel like you don’t love her as she is. And- uh, I’ve told her that you’ve been saying those things because you love her and you worry about her future, but you’re just kind of… having trouble accepting her the way she is.”

Clara stares at her for a moment, and Camila shifts, because she’s worried she’s said something wrong. Then, Clara turns to Lauren, and when she speaks, Camila feels relief flood through her entire body. “Your girlfriend is right, Lauren. I worry about what it’s going to be like for you when you try to get a job and you can’t look the person interviewing you in the eye. I know you want to be an artist, but you need backup plans, too. You have to be realistic.”

“I have backup plans,” Lauren says, and then blinks in surprise, as if she hadn’t realised she’d said that out loud. “If I do not sell enough of my paintings, I will- um, I will be a graphic designer. Or something designing architecture. Maybe I’ll try to write a book, too, or I will get a PhD in art history and become a professor.”

Clara and Mike both look completely surprised; Chris, Taylor and Camila all look awkward, as if none of them feel like they should be there.

“Well, I- um, I didn’t know you’d thought about that.” Clara finally speaks. “But there’s still the case of job interviews.”

“I will tell them that I am autistic.” Lauren easily replies. “Because it doesn’t hinder my ability to work, but it- um, I’m not good socially because of it. But I don’t need to be social to do graphic design, really. Also, I will have a really good degree, so… they can’t say no to me. But- um, I can do eye contact if I have to do it, I just don’t like it so I don’t do it all the time. If I’m in a job interview I know I have to, so I will make myself. But I will not stop stimming, because I need to stim.”

“Okay,” Clara nods and moves over to the couch Lauren and Camila are on; Mike moves to let her sit down and gestures for Chris and Taylor to leave the room with him. Camila goes to follow, but Lauren pulls her back with a shake of her head. “That’s good, then. I love you, Lauren. Don’t you ever forget that.”

Without prompting, Lauren looks up at her mom for a few moments, before her gaze wanders to the clock on the wall. “I love you too. Can I go upstairs now? I miss my room and I want to watch _American Horror Story_ with Camila.”

Clara nods and sends Lauren a fond smile. “Yes. Go upstairs. But I’d like a little word with Camila first.”

Lauren hums and stands up, letting go of Camila’s hand and heading towards the door. “I will wait in my room for you, Camzi.”

“Okay, Lo,” Camila nods, a little more preoccupied by what Clara is going to say to her. “So- um… what do you want to talk to me about?”

“Thank you for everything you’ve done.” Clara says, and Camila is completely shocked, because she was definitely expecting a _stay away from my daughter_ kind of thing. “She’s so much happier ever since she started dating you. I’m so proud of her for getting out of her comfort zone and asking you on a date, and I can tell by the way you look at her that you really love her. But please- just, don’t hurt her. I don’t know if she’d be able to handle it.”

“I’d never hurt her,” Camila is quick to reply, “Like you- um, saw, I guess – I love her. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Even if she does make me watch _The Lion King_ every other day.”

Clara laughs. “That’s always been her favourite movie.”

Camila smiles to herself, and decides to ask something that’s been on her mind. “What’s your happiest memory of her? From when she was younger, I mean. All I’ve really heard about her childhood is not so nice stuff, and I’d like to hear some good things. If that’s okay.”

“Of course,” Clara frowns in thought, and then smiles to herself. “The time she spoke for the first time is a good one. She was three, and Mike was looking after Chris, and I’d decided to take Lauren out for a day. We went to Toys R Us and I told her that she could pick one thing. We spent _hours_ in that store. As soon as I thought she’d chosen something, she’d wander off and look at something else. We were in the stuffed animal section and I was reply to a text from Mike, telling him that we’d be on our way back soon – hopefully, anyway – and I heard a little voice behind me say ‘hakuna matata’ and I turned around and the only person there was Lauren, pointing to a toy. And I asked her what she wanted, and she said it again. I was so proud of her.”

Camila smiles at the thought, mostly because she can imagine how adorable three year old Lauren must’ve been, considering seventeen year old Lauren is absolutely adorable. “That’s really cute.”

“It was cute until she didn’t _stop_ saying it,” Clara jokes, “but I bought her two things that day. One was the ice cream on the way home as a treat. The other was the stuffed Nala she still has today.”

“Nala’s origin story,” Camila laughs, “That’s adorable. I’m going to go upstairs to Lauren now, I feel like she’s probably already decided against _American Horror Story_ and put one of the _Lion King_ movies on. Unless there’s anything else you want to say to me?”

“No, you can go on up,” Clara nods, “thank you for explaining what I meant to her, though. I never want her to feel like I don’t love her.”

“It’s okay,” Camila replies as she heads towards the door, “Goodnight.”

Once she hears Clara’s ‘goodnight’ in response, Camila runs up to Lauren’s room and flops down on her girlfriend’s bed next to her, ruffling Lauren’s hair. “Hey, nerd. Have you got what we’re watching set up?”

“Yes, season three of _American Horror Story_ ,” Lauren gestures to her laptop, “and if I’m a nerd, you’re a dork.”

Camila laughs and stands up, quickly getting out of her clothes and into one of Lauren’s hoodies and a pair of sweatpants, knowing that her girlfriend won’t care if she borrows them, so long as she folds them up in the morning. “Alright, I’m ready to snuggle.”

As Lauren wraps her arms around Camila’s waist and presses play on her laptop, she adjusts Nala so she’s still snuggling her. “What did my mom want to talk to you about?”

“Not much. Just thanking me for explaining both sides of the little disagreement to you, mostly.” Camila shrugs. “Also, she told me about when she bought Nala for you.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Yes, I remember that a little bit. She got me cookies and cream ice cream, too.”

“She said that’s when you spoke for the first time.” Camila says. “Like you told me, your first words were hakuna matata. Don’t know how you managed that one. My first word was ‘ _gato_ ’, and we didn’t even have a cat.”

Lauren snorts. “Where did you hear it, then?”

“Mostly in this little picture book my mom used to read me. She’d go through all the animals with me and I guess _el gato_ was the one I picked up on.” Camila shrugs. “Either that or eleven month old Camila really wanted a cat.”

“You were eleven months, that’s why yours was simple,” Lauren says, “I was three. Most people are speaking more than one word then.”

“Technically two words,” Camila points out, “Hakuna matata is more than one word, baby. _God_ , you say you have a 5.0 GPA but you can’t even _count_.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “I know you’re being sarcastic. I’m much smarter than you, but you’re still smart. I saw your grades, you have a 4.0. That’s good.”

“Only since you started helping me in science and Dinah in math,” Camila replies, “before that it was a 3.8. But I guess when you’re dating a genius, you’re going to gain a few points.”

“I already told you that I’m not a genius.” Lauren says. “I’m just regular smart. I’ll be a genius if I invent something or discover something, and maybe I will when I’m older. I don’t know yet. But I’m not a genius right now.”

Camila laughs and turns to kiss Lauren’s cheek. “Well, whatever. Let’s watch the show now, okay?”

“Okay,” Lauren nods and starts playing with Camila’s hair. “Thank you for coming with me tonight. It meant a lot.”

“Don’t worry about it, Lo,” Camila assures her. “I’m here whenever you need me. Literally like- just call and your Karla Camila Cabello will be on your doorstep in fifteen minutes. Business hours are between nine and five.”

Lauren snorts. “You’re so weird.”

“I warned you at the start of our friendship that I was,” Camila replies, “be careful or my weirdness might rub off on you. And then we’ll both just be those two crazy old cat ladies when we’re older.”

“Can we call one of the cats Nala?” Lauren asks, and Camila nearly laughs, because apparently Lauren has just accepted her fate as being one of the local cat ladies. “And another one Simba. You can pick the other names, though.”

“Alright, deal,” Camila laughs, “We’ll have to dream up plenty of names, though. Maybe you can have a page for it in your journal.”

“Oh, yes, okay,” Lauren nods, “I’m also in the middle of sketching what our arts room would look like in our future house. I will show you that when it’s done. And I’ll add a cat to the drawing.”

Camila smiles. “Unless you want to keep it, that’ll be another addition to my bedroom wall.”

“I can draw other things too. Like- I can design the architecture, if you want me to.” Lauren replies. “And also- um, the other rooms of the house. And I can draw the cats.”

“If you want to draw it, you go for it.” Camila says, watching with a fond smile as Lauren starts reeling off more names for potential future cats.

Neither of them pay attention to _American Horror Story_. Instead, they stay up nearly all night, rambling about the future and any potential scenarios they could be in.

Camila decides that she likes thinking about the future. Especially if it’s a future with Lauren in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't harass me for updates. My depression is bad right now and I'm really busy with university and that's my priority, not posting a 4000 word chapter for this every night. The more I get asked to update, the more motivation I lose. I'll update when and if I can. I don't like to post things unless I'm certain I'll finish them, so you have that assurance from me. It'll just take us a while to get there.


	30. Chapter 30

When Lauren hears her bedroom door open, she’s quick to curl back up under her favourite blue fluffy blanket, because she doesn’t want to talk to her family right now. She feels sick, and she wants to be by herself so she can relax and not think about how there are loads of alien germs in her body right now, because she doesn’t like the thought of horrible antigens in her system. Her body is _hers_.

“Hey, babe,” Camila’s voice shocks her completely, so much that she emerges from under her blanket for a moment to check if she’s really there, or if her voice was some sort of germ induced hallucination. “I came over to pick you up for our picnic, but your dad told me you were sick. Why didn’t you text me?”

Lauren curls up under her blanket again and sighs. “Didn’t want to annoy you.”

“You’d never annoy me, dumbass,” Camila rolls her eyes and Lauren feels her bed sink under added weight. “You took care of me one time when I was sick. Now it’s time for me to be a good girlfriend and return the favour.”

Lauren stims with the material of her blanket and pulls it up to her neck when Camila goes to grab it. “Don’t touch my blanket. It’s my favourite and I don’t want you to grab it.”

“Okay, that’s fine,” Camila rests her hand on Lauren’s waist, on top of her blanket. “I’ll leave if you want me to. You don’t have to endure the torture of my company if it’ll just make you sicker.”

Lauren frowns, because Camila’s company is the furthest thing from torture. “I like you being around. You wouldn’t be my girlfriend if I didn’t. You can stay if you want, but I don’t want to talk.”

Camila smiles and lays down next to her. “Okay. I’ll stay and be your cuddle buddy. Am I allowed under your blanket with you, or not? It looks really comfy.”

Lauren hums in thought, because she’s never let anyone else use her blanket before, because next to Nala it’s her favourite thing in the world, and she only ever uses it herself when she’s upset or sick, because the material feels good against her skin and it’s wonderfully soft so she can stim with it.

Lauren plays with the fabric of her blanket for a few more moments, and finally nods. “Yes, okay. I will let you under my blanket, but you can’t grab and pull at it, because I need it to stim.”

“I promise I won’t pull it,” Camila assures her, kicking off her shoes and her jeans so she’s left in her t-shirt and underwear. Then, she shuffles under the blanket and rests her hand on Lauren’s bare waist. “You can go back to stimming and watching your documentary now. If you need anything, ask me.”

“Okay,” Lauren shuffles over so her back is pressed against Camila, and she hears her girlfriend’s small gasp, but doesn’t think anything of it. “Love you, Camzi.”

“I love you too, Lo, but…” Camila trails off for a second and clears her throat, “are you naked right now?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods and pulls her blanket up to her neck, locating Nala underneath it and pulling her to her chest. “The material is nice against my skin because it’s so soft, and I don’t like clothes other than sweaters, but I get too hot with them on under my blanket. Jeans are scratchy and I don’t like it, so if I’m sad or sick I take them off and cuddle under my special fuzzy blanket. And it’s blue, too. That’s my favourite colour and that’s why it’s special.”

“Oh,” Camila lets out an odd noise and Lauren frowns to herself, because she doesn’t know what that means, “so… bras and underwear aren’t on the list of clothes you like, then?”

Lauren whines, because she wants to stop talking and watch her documentary, and Camila is asking questions with obvious answers. “Sweaters are the only clothes I like. I hate bras, I only ever wear them when I have to, and underwear is okay, but if I’m upset everything is hypersensitive and I don’t want anything touching me other than materials I like, like my blanket. Can you shut up now? I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“Lo,” Camila shakes her head and laughs, and Lauren identifies it as a _fond_ laugh. Camila had told her about those. “If you ask nicely, I’ll- uh, _shut up_. I was just a little surprised when you moved up against me and you turned out to be naked.”

“I sleep naked sometimes,” Lauren adds as an afterthought, “and I am sorry if I upset you by telling you to shut up. Will you please- um, be quiet? I don’t want to talk and you said I didn’t have to earlier.”

“Okay, baby girl,” Camila kisses her behind the ear and Lauren’s stomach flutters, “if you want anything, I’m here.”

“Alright,” Lauren murmurs in response, before she starts fiddling with her blanket again and redirects her gaze to the shark documentary she has on. She’s seen this one before, and normally she’d be talking about it and telling Camila all sorts of facts about what’s happening on the screen, but she doesn’t feel like doing that right now.

So, she just hums to herself as she stims with her blanket, and follows the patterns Camila is tracing along her stomach. They get through an episode of the documentary series when Lauren decides that she’d like some soup, and Camila had said that if she needed anything, she should ask.

“Camz,” Lauren flips over so she’s nose-to-nose with her girlfriend. “I would like some chicken noodle soup. Can you make me some, please?”

“Alright,” Camila gets up from the bed and stretches, and Lauren watches as she makes her way to the door. “Do you want to put some clothes on and come with me?”

“No thank you, I will stay here,” Lauren turns over again, because she’s very comfortable and she doesn’t particularly want to move because the next episode of the documentary is starting. “I would like it if you’re quick though, because you’re very warm and you were making art on my tummy, and I want you to keep doing that while I have my soup.”

“Okay, Lo,” Camila nods and slips out of the door, calling a _be right back_ behind her.

Lauren spends her time waiting for Camila by checking her social media and sort of paying attention to the documentary, but she gets a little bored of that because she’s already seen it. So, she opens up Camila’s phone and decides to prank Dinah.

****_Walz (5:37PM): hey cheechee_ ** **

****_China Jane (5:38PM): What do u want aren’t you busy w/ Lauser_ ** **

****_Walz (5:38PM): yes i am and i have an important question 4 u_ ** **

****_China Jane (5:38PM): I thought Ralph told you everything about her autism n stuff can’t you just ask her? lol_ ** **

****_Walz (5:38PM): it’s not about that and u shouldn’t tell people things about that bc that’s her thing to tell_ ** **

****_Walz (5:39PM): but anyway is ur refrigerator running?_ ** **

****_China Jane (5:39PM): ……yes????_ ** **

****_Walz (5:40PM): WELL YOU’D BETTER GO CATCH IT THEN_ ** **

****_China Jane (5:40PM): …….._ ** **

****_China Jane (5:40PM): Ralph u aint slick_ ** **

****_Walz (5:41PM): Prank war continues. Hehehe. :) But you can’t prank me back just yet because I’m sick and that would be mean._ ** **

“Lauren Michelle,” Camila addresses her as she walks back into the room with two bowls of chicken noodle soup, “why are you on my phone when you have your own, perfectly functioning phone right over there.”

Lauren hums. “I was pranking Dinah. Did you make me my soup?”

“Yep,” Camila hands her a bowl and sits back down, “your mom helped a little since I’m not the most talented chef in the whole world. But whatever.”

“Thank you,” Lauren tries the soup and she can tell that her mom helped, because it’s her mother’s special recipe that she can tell from a mile off. “This is nice. You’re good at taking care of me when I’m sick. Thanks, babe.”

“You’re welcome,” Camila leans over and kisses her cheek, “I love it when you call me _babe_ , by the way.”

“Do you prefer it to Camz?” Lauren blinks in surprise. “Because I will call you it more often, if you’d like.”

“No, I’d take Camz any day,” Camila assures her, and Lauren breathes a sigh of relief and continues eating her soup. “Or Camzi. Because they’re your special nicknames for me. Nobody else calls me that.”

“Yes, nobody else,” Lauren repeats, putting her spoon in Camila’s bowl and draining her soup out of her bowl quickly. Then, she places her empty bowl on her bedside table and finds Nala again. “I am going to watch my documentary again now. Thank you for sitting with me. Also, thank you for not calling me weird for not liking clothes.”

“I’d never call you weird, Lo,” Camila assures her, reaching out and squeezing her hand over the top of her blanket. “Your senses are different and I get that. I can’t really relate to it on your level, but trust me, one time my grandma made this really scratchy sweater for me and I couldn’t wait to take it off. And when I first started wearing bras, I hated them.”

“Bras are not very nice,” Lauren replies, tapping against her leg. “I don’t like them. I like sweaters that have a nice material. I only used to wear sweatpants or baggy shorts when I was little, because everything else felt bad, but I can wear jeans now. But only skinny jeans, because other jeans brush against my ankle in the wind and I don’t like it.”

“Also, skinny jeans make your ass look really good,” Camila points out, and Lauren frowns to herself, because she never really pays attention to how her butt looks in jeans. “Actually, when I was drunk, I remember you telling me that I could touch your ass. If you’re still… okay with that.”

Lauren hums. “You mean like right now?”

“Yeah,” Camila nods, “If that’s okay. Or- um, you can touch mine first and see what I’m going to do to you?”

Lauren frowns, because she doesn’t really know what purpose touching Camila’s ass will serve. The whole thing seems rather pointless to her. “I don’t know, it seems a little bit stupid. Why do you want to touch my butt? It’s just a butt.”

“It’s a _nice_ butt,” Camila corrects her, “Cuban booty is always the best. That’s a direct quote from Dinah.”

Lauren snorts. “Butts are just butts, though. It’s not like boobs, where- um, you can _feel someone up_. Or is it? I don’t know, I’m not good at the physical stuff.”

“Didn’t Google search anything about butts then, did you?” Camila laughs, and Lauren knows she’s teasing. She goes to tell her to shut up, but Camila continues. “It’s part of that whole touching thing.”

“Oh,” Lauren nods, “well, I guess next time we make out, then. I don’t want to make out with you right now though, I might give you my- um, my _bug_. That’s what my mom said, she said I have a bug and that I caught it from Taylor.”

“Should’ve stayed at my house, then,” Camila says, “that way you would be in full health and I’d be able to make out with you as much as I want.”

“Yes, well, next time,” Lauren replies. “When I’m better. Then I will touch your ass and you will touch mine.”

“That’s the most scheduled groping in the history of groping,” Camila laughs, “but I look forward to it, baby. For now, I’m good with hanging out with you under your fluffy blanket.”

“You’re very patient with me.” Lauren voices her train of thought, because it’s something that’s been on her mind for a while. Mostly since Camila’s birthday. “You’ve stopped- um, making _sexual advances_. I will- uh, make the first move, when I am ready, but I am glad that you’re letting me do it, because I can- um, I can be sure I’m ready.”

“Like I’ve said,” Camila kisses her on the tip of her nose, “I want it to be special and enjoyable for both of us, and it’ll only be like that if we’re both sure we want it. I know that most people have already done that by this point, but the social norm is stupid anyway, so fuck that.”

Lauren laughs. “Yes. Fuck the social norm.”

“I love you, Lolo,” Camila tells her, “so fucking much. You’re my little angel. Right now wrapped up in your blanket, you’re my little burrito.”

Lauren smiles and pulls Camila under her blanket with her. “Now we’re both a burrito. A Camren burrito.”

“You’re the cutest, Lolo,” Camila laughs, “Come snuggle me and we’ll watch your documentary.”

Lauren curls up as close to Camila as she can, and smiles when she feels her girlfriend run her hand through her hair. “Thank you for not making me wear clothes, Camz.”

“Naked bodies aren’t just a sexual thing.” Camila shrugs. “If that’s how you feel comfortable while you’re sick, then I’m fine with it. All I want is for you to be comfortable, Lo. In everything.”

“I don’t think that’s very realistic,” Lauren murmurs, “like, the world is kind of mean sometimes, and not just to me and other autistic people, but to everyone. You’ve just got to- um, be positive. Because not everything is bad. Like you’re my light. You make things okay.”

“Oh my god,” Camila lets out a loud, overly exaggerated sigh, “stop being so eloquent and romantic all the time. I swear, Lo, you’re going to make my heart flutter so much that it’ll fly out of my chest and then I’ll be dead because you were too romantic for me to handle.”

Lauren snorts. “You’re weird. In a good way, though.”

“It’s not my fault you’re the sweetest person on planet earth,” Camila fires back, “you’re going to kill me with kindness, baby. I swear.”

“I’m just telling the truth.” Lauren defends herself, because all she did was say what’s on her mind. “I can’t help it if I’m- um, eloquent. It’s not my fault you’re like, in love with me. And stuff.”

“Actually, me being in love with you is one hundred percent your fault,” Camila taps her on the end of her nose. “You pulled me in with your pretty face and your cute little compliments and now I’m trapped here for good. What part of that sounds like _my_ fault?”

“Well- um, then it’s your fault that I’m in love with you, because you make my heart happy and I didn’t tell you to do that.” Lauren pokes her in the arm. “So we’re both at fault. Because you- um, called me nice things and made me like you even more, and at one point Mani told me you were- uh, _leading me on_ , but it was nice to prove her wrong, because usually she’s always right and it makes me feel bad.”

“Normani said that to you?” Camila frowns. “When?”

Lauren untangles the two questions and shrugs. “When I told her we were going on a date for the first time. She told me- um, she wasn’t sure you really liked me, and that I might’ve been a _rebound_ for Austin, and I didn’t really know what that meant at first, but she explained. At first I believed her, because you didn’t seem like you really wanted to date me, but then you changed my mind. And Manibear’s, eventually. Because you love me.”

“Oh,” Camila murmurs, “I didn’t realise you doubted me, too.”

“Only for a little while,” Lauren fiddles with Nala’s tail, “then you changed my mind, like I said. You stood up for me with those girls and you explained to me that you really wanted to be my girlfriend when I was scared to call you it, and after that you got better and you haven’t upset me for a long time, and I don’t think you ever will again, because you love me. I know that.”

“I get-” Camila cuts herself off with a sigh, “I get why you and Normani had your doubts, honestly. I wasn’t exactly the best friend at first…”

“Yes, you kind of sucked,” Lauren admits, because at first, Camila hadn’t been very good at the friend stuff. But she got better. “It’s fine now, though. You’re not a bad person, you just kind of sucked at first. But you’re better, and you love me, and it’s okay.”

Camila sighs again. “God, I was such a bitch at first. Why did you even like me after all of my fuck ups?”

“Mistakes are human,” Lauren tells her, “and I- um, I believe in giving people second chances, like I did after your _crime of passion_. I know you won’t make another one of those, because you understand now. And you can’t control who you like, a lot of the time. Like how you liked Austin, and he’s not exactly nice looking. But I am, so at least you have a good taste in women.”

Camila bursts out laughing, and Lauren doesn’t know what she’s said that’s so funny. “Oh my god, Lo. See, this is another reason why I love you. You’re such a dork.”

Lauren frowns to herself. “I didn’t say anything funny.”

“You did,” Camila laughs, quoting her, “‘Austin isn’t exactly nice looking, but I am’.”

“Well, it’s true,” Lauren defends herself, “Austin looks like a dorito. But I’m really pretty, you say that a lot and I- um, I know I’m pretty because I have nice eyes and my piercings are pretty and you tell me that my lips are soft, but I think they’re chapped sometimes.”

“At least you know you’re gorgeous,” Camila squeezes her hand, “but a _dorito_? Out of everything you could compare him to, you go with a _dorito_?”

“Yes. That’s what Dinah, Mani, Ally and I called him.” Lauren tells her, thinking back to when she’d ranted to her friends about how he’d interrupted her, and they’d come up with the nickname. “When we talked about him when you weren’t there. Mani and Dinah didn’t think you had a very good taste in men, and Mani was kind of upset because- um, she’d told you about him to make me ask you.”

“Really?” Camila asks. “How would that make you ask me?”

“Because it made me realise that other people could ask you out, and then you wouldn’t be single so I should- um, _put my ass in gear_. That’s what Dinah said, anyway.” Lauren shrugs. “Ally told me to ask you when I’m ready and not let them pressure me into it, but I am okay with being interrupted now, because you came to me after. You came to me when he upset you at homecoming, and you didn’t even think about it. You just came to my house because your subconscious wanted me.”

“I think my subconscious knew I liked you before my heart did,” Camila says, and Lauren doesn’t really get how that works. “It’s like- you’d say things to me and my stomach would flip, but I’d always brush it off. I figured I just appreciated the compliments. In reality it was you I was appreciating. You were all I could think about when I was at homecoming with Austin, actually. He was rambling on about football or whatever, and all I could think about was you.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “You told me it’s rude to ignore people when they’re talking about something they like, and he was talking about something he liked and you were tuning him out.”

Camila laughs. “I guess you caught me there. He’s an exception to the rule. Actually, it’s recommended that people in general ignore him, because it’s rumoured that his words kill brain cells.”

“Still, you were talking about him when I ignored you, so I was just preserving my brain cells because I need to keep my 5.0 GPA.” Lauren teases her, because she thinks it’s funny that Camila’s words backfired on her. Especially when it was before Camila had started being a proper friend. “So really, I was just going by the rules. And _you’re_ the dumbass.”

“I- yeah, I guess so,” Camila smiles and runs her fingers through Lauren’s messy hair, “I’m sorry about all of the things I said pre-dating. Especially pre-friendship. You should’ve invested in one of those spray bottles, and every time I fucked up, you should’ve sprayed me with water.”

Lauren laughs. “You’re funny. But no, I wouldn’t do that, because you got better eventually. And we’re in a good position now, because you love me and I love you and we’re going to Disneyworld together for my birthday, so none of the earlier stuff really matters. Unless we want to look back and laugh.”

“Yeah,” Camila leans in and kisses her, apparently not caring that she’s sick and she might catch whatever germs Taylor had given to Lauren. “You’re so good at making me feel better, Lo. And I’m not even the sick one.”

Lauren hums. “You _are_ sick, though.”

“I am?” Camila blinks in confusion, “Why, have I been sniffling or something? Do you think I’m getting a cold?”

Lauren just laughs. “Camz. You’re _lovesick_.”

Camila relaxes and rolls her eyes. “Dork. You scared me for a second there. I thought I was getting your plague.”

“You probably will anyway.” Lauren shrugs and taps on Camila’s leg. “So we might as well make out.”

“ _Lauren_ ,” Camila mock gasps, “such a _raunchy_ suggestion. But no thanks. I’m not going to risk catching whatever weird variation of the black plague you’re currently suffering from.”

Lauren kisses her anyway.


	31. Chapter 31

“So… welcome to another one of my dumb ideas.” Camila says as she tugs Lauren into her bedroom by her wrist. “I basically felt like reliving my childhood, and I thought who better to do that with than my absolutely wonderful girlfriend. Hence the, uh, excess amount of pillows and blankets.”

Lauren stares down at the large pile of blankets and pillows, and Camila knows that they’re probably both thinking the same thing – that Camila had taken every single pillow and blanket from every room in her house. “Um… okay?”

Camila sends her a sheepish smile. “We’re going to make a pillow fort. If that’s cool.”

“Oh, a pillow fort,” Lauren blinks in realisation, as if she hadn't picked that up from the excess amount of blankets. Although, now that Camila thinks about it, that's not all that surprising, “alright then. What do we do once we’ve made it?”

“Sit in it, I guess. Or… watch Disney movies. Or make out.” Camila shrugs. “Whatever floats your boat, babe. You can choose what we do.”

“Oh, alright, that’s fun,” Lauren nods, “I think we should make out. I like doing that.”

“Good. Cool. Me too,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand and grabs one of the blankets to begin construction. But, because today is about releasing their inner children, she throws the blanket over Lauren’s head and laughs when her girlfriend pulls it off and sends her an indignant glare. “You should’ve seen that coming, Lolo. I love annoying you.”

Lauren pouts. “But you love me. You shouldn’t do that if you love me.”

“Actually, being as annoying as possible is in the ‘how to show your girlfriend you love her’ handbook.” Camila says, poking Lauren in the arm. “I would know, I practically wrote that book. I’m like, a relationship guru.”

“So I’m allowed to annoy you?” Lauren asks, and at Camila’s nod, the younger girl gets a rough shove to the side and lands in the pile of pillows and blankets. Then, she feels someone sit on her stomach and squeals when hands dig into her sides. “There. I’m annoying you.”

“Lauren Michelle,” Camila tries to fight her girlfriend off, but Lauren is surprisingly strong. “Stop- tickling- me.”

“Nope,” Lauren moves her hands to Camila’s neck and the younger girl squirms, letting out a few _please stops_ as Lauren keeps tickling her. “You said that I should be as annoying as possible. So that’s what I’m doing. Just being a good girlfriend and showing you I love you.”

Camila tries to get out a sarcastic response as Lauren keeps tickling her. Doesn’t work very well. “You’re doing well at being annoying, Lo. So much that I’m tempted to flip this over and tickle _you_.”

Lauren laughs. “You wouldn’t, because I don’t like being touched.”

“Yeah, _sure_ ,” Camila snorts, “but it’s perfectly fine when you want to cuddle and won’t let me move.”

“Yes, because cuddling is different.” Lauren stops tickling her but doesn’t move from her position on Camila’s stomach. “Cuddling is wonderful, you’re always really warm and you fit against me perfectly, but tickling is horrible.”

Camila smiles. “Just because you look all cute and cuddly with your messy hair and oversized sweater, I won’t tickle you back. But I will get my revenge some other way.”

“You will?” Lauren frowns and leans down to kiss her. “But I’m too cute for revenge.”

“Nobody is too cute for revenge.” Camila taps Lauren on the end of her nose and pulls her down for another kiss. “I love you, Lolo.”

“I love you too,” Lauren smiles and rolls off Camila to lay next to her on the blankets. “I would’ve brought my special blue blanket and we could’ve cuddled under it once we make our fort.”

“No, that’s okay, I know how much you love your blanket.” Camila runs a hand through her girlfriend’s hair and smiles when Lauren curls up next to her. “It should stay safe on your bed. Kind of like Nala, but she takes a few trips out.”

“Yes, when I need her.” Lauren nods, reaching into her overnight bag and pulling Nala out. “Like tonight, because I’m sleeping over. Do you have a cuddly toy to make you feel better? Or… um, is that just me?”

“I have one.” Camila nods and walks over to her closet, standing on her tiptoes to reach the top shelf and pulling out a stuffed dog. “This is Fluffy. Not a very creative name, I know, but in my defence, I was four.”

Lauren smiles as Camila sits down next to her with her stuffed animal. “So… um, why is Fluffy in your closet?”

“I guess when I was moving in, I just kind of shoved him in there.” Camila shrugs. “I always thought I was too old for a stuffed animal, mostly because of things my old friends said, but after knowing you for so long, I take that back, because you're older than me and you have a stuffed animal. Plus, you're really mature, with your 5.0 GPA. So Fluffy will stay on my bed from now on, I think he deserves that.”

Lauren laughs. “Your old friends were quite mean, I really didn't like them. They used to influence you a lot, didn’t they?”

“Yeah. They did.” Camila admits, not liking the thought in the slightest. “It sucks that I let them. They’d always threaten to ditch me if I didn’t go along with things, and I’m not exactly the best at making friends – I tend to trip into them or say something awkward – and I stuck with them because they were all I had. They’d comfort me a lot too, if I was upset over a crush. They even unknowingly made me feel better when I was figuring out that I’m bi.”

“It still doesn’t justify them being horrible to you and threatening to stop being your friend. That’s something you do in third grade, not when you’re older.” Lauren points out. “Dinah used to say it to Mani when they’d argue over a toy, and then they’d stop being friends for about five minutes until they made up again.”

Trying to push the thought of Sandra and Marielle out of her head, Camila pulls Fluffy up to her chest and kisses Lauren on the tip of her nose. “Tell me more about you and the girls when you were little. I like hearing about those things.”

“Um… well, Dinah and Mani always used to get in fights, and Dinah would sit with Ally and Mani would sit with me until they made up when Ally told them to knock it off.” Lauren explains. “They were never big fights though, usually just one of them stealing the other’s seat.”

Camila hums in thought. “What were they like with you?”

“Manibear was my instant best friend, and she still is my best friend now.” Lauren says. “I was scared of her at first because I didn’t know her, but she promised me that she would look after me because I think she realised I was different because I couldn’t talk well. I let her hug me for the first time after I’d known her for two months. Can we make the fort now?”

Camila laughs. “Hold on, Lo, you let me hug you after I’d known you for like, two weeks.”

“I think…” Lauren pauses in thought, “I think it was because I had a crush on you, but it was before I knew I had a crush on you, because I didn’t realise until after we’d slept at your house.”

“Actually, you know how you fell asleep on me?” Camila asks, waiting for Lauren’s nod. “I didn’t fall to sleep, and I heard the girls talking about how they thought you might have a crush on me. I brushed it off, though. I didn’t even know you liked girls and I figured if you were going to have a crush on anyone in our group, it’d be one of the other girls. Because they’re hot.”

Lauren snorts. “They’re like my sisters. They _are_  hot, but that’d be weird. And I didn’t know they suspected me liking you.”

“Lo… you’re not exactly a master of subtlety.” Camila points out. “I’m surprised I didn’t realise it sooner, to be honest with you.”

“Oh,” Lauren frowns to herself. “Well, I was trying to be subtle. I only stared at you when I knew you didn’t know. When you were preoccupied with other things.”

“You stared at me?” Camila asks, watching as Lauren blushes and nods. “Oh. Wow. I didn’t realise. Why’d you stare at me?”

“Because you’re pretty.” Lauren answers, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Duh. You’re very nice to look at. I’m not quiet about it now, because you’re my girlfriend and I can look at you if I want.”

Camila laughs. “You’re too good to me, babe. Do you want to make our fort now?”

“Yes,” Lauren stands up and starts unfolding a blanket, and Camila kisses her girlfriend’s cheek, because Lauren looks too adorable when she’s concentrated on something. “What will we use to support the roof?”

“My bed and my desk?” Camila shrugs, cursing herself, because she really hadn’t thought this through. “Anything, really. My bed is probably an essential point, and it’s not like we’ll stand up in our fort, because we’ll be way too busy snuggling and watching movies.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods, and drapes the blanket over the point between Camila’s bed and desk. Then, she pulls Camila’s desk chair out and uses it to make a triangle shaped support for their fort’s roof. “We can put blankets on the open parts and use the pillows as a kind of mattress.”

“Alright,” Camila replies, grabbing one of the other blankets and draping it so it makes a doorway. “This can be the door. Should we have a password for it?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “the password is lion. Because I like lions.”

Camila laughs. “Okay, baby. The password is lion. How many pillows should we put on the inside?”

“All of them,” Lauren says, looking down at their fort as Camila makes the back wall with a blanket. “So it’s extra snuggly. What Disney movies will we watch?”

“ _101 Dalmatians_ is a definite. Probably _Aristocats_ too.” Camila pauses in thought. “And maybe _The Lion King_. If you don’t tickle me again.”

Lauren beams. “Yes, I promise I will not tickle you again if we can watch _The Lion King_ , because it’s my favourite Disney movie.”

“Good to know I can always bribe you with _The Lion King_ whenever I want something.” Camila laughs and kisses Lauren’s cheek as she settles down in the fort next to her. “I think we’ll watch _101 Dalmatians_ first. You can cuddle with Fluffy and I.”

“And Nala,” Lauren points out, bringing her stuffed animal to her chest. “Nala is my best friend, Camzi.”

“Of course, can’t forget about Nala,” Camila says as she pulls Lauren closer to her and starts up the movie. Is this Disney movie one of your favourites?”

Lauren frowns. “Kind of. I like it, but I would rather watch _The Lion King_.”

“Yeah, but that’s you in every situation, isn’t it?” Camila points out. “You enjoy whatever you’re doing, but you’d rather be snuggling with Nala under your special blanket and watching _The Lion King_.”

“That’s not-” Lauren pauses when Camila rolls her eyes and snorts. “Okay, well, maybe it’s true. But not _every_ situation. Only most of them.”

Camila laughs and kisses her girlfriend’s cheek. “You’re too cute, babe.”

“I’m- um, I’m hot too though,” Lauren is quick to assure her. “I can be sexy if- um, if I want. When I don’t wear sweaters.”

Camila smiles and pulls Lauren as close to her as she can, because her girlfriend is the cutest. “You’re hot even when you wear sweaters, baby. I love everything about your appearance.”

Lauren frowns and meets her gaze for a moment. “Like what?”

“Like… the little things?” Camila asks, waiting for Lauren’s nod in confirmation. “Well… I love your eyes a lot. It’s always really rare that I get to look into them, but when I do, it’s as amazing as the first time. I love the little freckles on your nose. I love your piercings. I love your widow’s peak. I love your body. I love your little tummy. I love your scars. I love everything.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “Thank you, Camz.”

“I love your mind the most, though.” Camila points out. “Your mind is who you are, and I happen to really fucking love who you are.”

“You’re being too nice,” Lauren whines and buries her face in Camila’s neck. “It’s making my stomach go funny.”

“Oh, alright then. You don’t want me to be nice, then I won’t.” Camila threatens. “You’re prettier than everyone I’ve ever met and it’s not okay, so fuck you, Lauren Jauregui.”

Lauren snorts. “You’d like to do that.”

Camila’s jaw drops. “What? _Lauren Michelle_. Since when were dirty jokes your kind of thing?”

“I told you I’m not as innocent as you think I am.” Lauren taps on her leg and leans forward to kiss Camila. “I can make dirty jokes. If I want.”

“Still, it’s just a little surprising, coming from you. You always seem really frightened by the thought of having sex with me.” Camila points out. “So… I just kind of… don’t bring it up. Even in a joking way.”

“I’m- uh, I’m joking about it, though. So I can tell it’s a joke.” Lauren points out. “If you joke about it, I can’t tell through your tone if it’s really a joke or not.”

“Oh, okay then,” Camila nods and kisses her cheek. “Just asking. But I kind of like your not so innocent side.”

Lauren frowns to herself. “There’s got to be something about me that you don’t like. You can’t possibly like _everything_.”

Camila is a little surprised by the change of topic, but she goes with it. “Can’t think of anything. Why? Are there things about me that you dislike?”

“Um…” Lauren bites down on her lip in thought. “You mean physically? Because I think you’re very beautiful.”

“I mean in general,” Camila replies, not sure she’s going to like what Lauren answers with. “Do you dislike something about me, Lo?”

“No, not really,” Lauren plays with Nala’s tail and looks down at her feet. “I like lots of things about you. I don’t like- um, there’s one thing I hate, though.”

“Something you _hate_?” Camila blinks at her. “Oh. What’s that, then?”

“I hate- um,” Lauren sits up and rolls Camila’s left sleeve up, pointing to an orange and yellow bracelet on her tan wrist. “I hate this. Because it’s orange. I wasn’t going to point it out to you though, because it might be important to you, but I don’t like it and it’s quite annoying.”

“Oh,” Camila breathes out a sigh of relief and pulls Lauren in for a hug. “Thank god. Okay. I’ll take it off.”

Lauren smiles in satisfaction as Camila takes off her bracelet and throws it onto her bed. “There. Now you’re perfect.”

Camila nods and kisses her girlfriend, locking her fingers at the back of Lauren’s neck. “You are absolutely wonderful.”

Lauren leans forward and takes Camila’s bottom lip between hers, her fingers tracing her girlfriend’s sharp jawline before disappearing in brunette hair. When Lauren deepens the kiss, Camila’s stomach flips, because she really loves how confident her girlfriend has become since the first time they’d kissed. Camila moves so she’s straddling her girlfriend’s lap, not breaking their kiss, and she gasps when Lauren reaches down and squeezes her ass.

“Oh my god, Lo,” Camila lets out in surprise as Lauren keeps touching her and attaches her lips to her jawline. “You’re so good at this.”

“Good,” Lauren murmurs against her skin, “I’m trying my best.”

“Your best is amazing,” Camila tangles her fingers in Lauren’s hair and slips one hand up her girlfriend’s sweater, touching her waist, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Lauren leans up to kiss her properly, “are we going to watch the movie now?”

Camila laughs. “Really? Make out with me for a minute and then ditch me for a movie? So romantic, Lo.”

Lauren blushes. “I’ll keep kissing you, then. If you want.”

“Trust me, I want,” Camila nods and pulls her girlfriend back, resting her hands on Lauren’s shoulders.

Camila feels Lauren smile against her lips, and when she feels a warm hand touch her waist under her shirt, Camila is smiling too, because Lauren’s confidence is her favourite thing in the world. Camila decides to step things up, but slowly. Maybe making out in their underwear would be something Lauren would be comfortable with?

So, she plays with the hem of Lauren’s sweater and pulls it up over her girlfriend’s head, pulling away in shock when she realises that Lauren isn’t wearing a bra. “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t- uh, I kind of figured you’d be wearing a bra.”

Lauren frowns to herself, but doesn’t make a move to cover herself up. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

“True, but- uh,” Camila lets out an awkward laugh, “I was going to… um, I figured we could make out in our underwear. But… you’re not wearing a bra, so I guess we’re not doing that.”

“I don’t wear bras unless I have to.” Lauren says, fiddling with her discarded sweater. “I will kiss you like this. If you want.”

“Oh, okay,” Camila replies, a little shocked that she’s okay with it, “sure. You can take my shirt off, if you want.”

Lauren fiddles with the buttons on Camila’s flannel shirt and pulls it off, folding it up and dropping it next to her sweater. “Okay. Can I kiss you again now?”

“Definitely,” Camila nods, and at her cue, Lauren leans in again.

Camila lets her girlfriend’s hands wander, and she’s not exactly shy about it when she cups Lauren’s breast and smiles as her girlfriend lets out a small gasp when she massages the smooth tip with her thumb.

What she doesn’t expect is the sound of her bedroom door bursting open, and she practically throws Lauren’s sweater at her and pulls her shirt back on before peeking out of their blanket fort.

“Mom?” Camila blinks in surprise when she sees her panicked looking mother. “Couldn’t you have knocked?”

“Karla, it’s Sofia,” Sinu hurriedly tells her, “She’s been knocked down by a car.”

That’s the last thing Camila hears before everything breaks out into a panic.


	32. Chapter 32

Camila bounces her leg as she keeps glancing towards the double doors her parents had just gone through with a doctor, absolutely terrified, because she knows that when they come back out, there’s a 50% chance that they’ll be bearing bad news, and she has no idea how she’d handle that.

Every little thing starts to annoy her, the way the teenage boy a few rows down from them is tapping against the arm of his chair, the way the receptionist answers her phone with a monotone hello. Even the way Lauren is staring at her.

“Lauren, can you stop staring at me, please?” Camila snaps, feeling incredibly guilty when her girlfriend looks down at her feet and seems to deflate. “No- sorry, I didn’t mean to snap, I’m just- really stressed out right now.”

Lauren keeps her gaze trained to her floor. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to make you feel better and- um, I feel kind of useless right now.”

“No, Lo, you being here is enough,” Camila takes hold of her girlfriend’s hand and rests her head on her shoulder. “Just hold me for a while? I don’t know how- I’m so scared, Lolo.”

“It’s okay,” Lauren rubs against her leg with her free hand, “Sofi will be okay. I know it, and I have a 5.0 GPA, so you should listen to me.”

“You can’t possibly know that Sofi will be okay,” Camila lets out a long sigh, “nobody can. I just hope that whatever powerful force that’s out there won’t take my little sister from me.”

Lauren plays with Camila’s fingers. “I don’t want to- uh, get your hopes up. But I think Sofi will be okay, because she’s really tough.”

“Lo, look at me,” Camila says, not liking the way Lauren has her head ducked down and is staring at the floor as if it’s the most interesting thing in the room. Once her girlfriend has looked up, her gaze trained on Camila’s neck, the younger Latina continues. “You’re allowed to look at me all you want. I’m sorry for snapping at you before. You’re here to comfort me and I appreciate that so much.”

Lauren shrugs. “You’re my girlfriend. Of course I’m going to comfort you. I just don’t want to stress you out more.”

“You never could, babe,” Camila assures her. “Thanks for being here. I’m so fucking worried though, Lolo. I want to think about other things but then I can’t because it’s the only thing on my mind.”

Lauren hums to herself. “I could tell you things. If you want.”

“Yes, okay,” Camila nods, desperate for any form of a distraction. “Tell me things. Anything. Please distract me, Lolo.”

“Um,” Lauren frowns and plays with Camila’s hair. “One time when I was eight, we had to do a presentation at school about what we wanted to be when we grew up. And- uh, at that point I wanted to be a lion when I grew up. I got really into it, too. I made myself some ears like Nala, and one kid said I’d done it wrong because I didn’t have a mane, but female lions don’t have manes, so he was the one that was wrong.”

Camila actually laughs at Lauren’s story, but the thought of Sofi’s wellbeing is still at the back of her mind. “Cute. I bet everyone else said things like ‘rockstar’ or ‘astronaut’. But no, my girlfriend is going to be a lion when she grows up.”

Lauren giggles and shakes her head. “No, now I want to be a famous artist. Or a graphic designer.”

“How did you get into art?” Camila asks, “Like… when did you start drawing as a serious hobby? I know you go to your art class, but I didn’t think you started that until your parents realised you were serious.”

“Oh, um,” Lauren taps on her leg. “As long as I can remember. I won a drawing competition for the first time when I was six and I always drew pictures when I was little if I got bored. I started reading art history books when I was nine and I still read a lot of them now, because I like to know things about how art has changed throughout the years and the backgrounds and influences of different artists. Art is my special interest though, so that’s why.”

Camila takes in Lauren’s words and keeps pushing the conversation. “Can you tell me about special interests, Lo?”

Lauren nods. “Yes, I can. What do you want to know?”

“Oh, uh,” Camila shrugs and looks up at her girlfriend for a moment. “What kinds of things can be special interests, how many you have, what all of yours are. Stuff like that.”

“Well, anything can be a special interest. Even things like particular people can be a special interest.” Lauren tells her. “I have- um, I have a few. Art is my main special interest, and it means the most to me, I think that’s because it’s lifelong, but others can be replaced. Like… um, marine biology used to be one of my special interests, but it’s not anymore.”

Camila nods. “And what are all of your special interests?”

“Art, and uh… I’m really interested in politics and social policy and that’s quite a new one, I’ve only been interested in that since I was sixteen.” Lauren pauses in thought. “I also like collecting coins, I have a very large collection. Do you have any interesting coins I could add to my collection? If you give me a coin, I’ll- uh, I’ll show you all of the ones I have so far.”

“I’ll make sure to look for some,” Camila promises her. “Are those all of your special interests?”

“Um… no.” Lauren says. “I also love dogs very much, my mom promised me that when she’s sure I can handle it, she’ll get me a dog. I am going to call it Dash. _The 1975_ are also a special interest, they are my favourite band and I use lots of their songs for auditory stims.”

“Maybe when we’re older and living together, we can get a dog and look after it together.” Camila suggests, trying to think about positives in the future. Definitely not thinking about what her parents might say to her when they finish speaking to the doctors. “We’ll raise puppies.”

“Can we call our dog Dash?” Lauren asks, waiting for Camila’s nod. “Because I have planned it out. I know what breed I would like. But we have to make sure it will get along with our cats, because we’re going to have cats, remember?”

Camila allows herself the first genuine smile since her mother had burst in on them earlier. “Yeah. We’ll make sure our puppy gets along with our cats.”

Lauren sends her a satisfied smile and goes quiet again, rubbing her hand up and down her thigh, which means that she’s either happy or nervous, and Camila decides to go with happy. The older Latina hums to herself, and Camila picks up the tune as _Medicine_ by The 1975, but she doesn’t keep talking, and Camila finds that her negative thoughts start flooding back into her mind.

“Lauren?” Camila gets her girlfriend’s attention again. “Can you keep talking to me, please?”

“Okay,” Lauren nods and plays with Camila’s hand. “What do you want me to talk to you about?”

“You,” Camila is quick to reply, because Lauren is something that makes her ridiculously happy, so to hear her girlfriend talking about herself is bound to make her smile. “Tell me about things you like and don’t like because of your autism.”

“Oh, um,” Lauren pauses in thought. “I don’t like things around my neck. They make me nervous. I hate open doors and the colour orange. I hate it when people touch my feet, the bottom of my feet are really sensitive, and- um, I don’t really like socks much because of that, unless they’re fluffy. My favourite socks are fluffy and have lions on them.”

Camila nods. “You like fluffy things, don’t you?”

“Yes, fluffy things and soft things are really nice to stim with, and they feel good against my skin, like my special blue blanket.” Lauren tells her. “Certain textures are really nice and others are really horrible. I can only eat certain foods because some have horrible textures and colours.”

“That’s why you’re always begging Ally to bake you some cookies, is it?” Camila teases her, watching as Lauren’s cheeks turn pink. “What foods don’t you like, babe?”

“I hate the texture of lamb. I don’t like most fruits, but I do like bananas, grapes and strawberries. I hate oranges, but you probably- um, guessed that.” Lauren answers. “I like lots of Cuban dishes that my mom makes and taught me how to make. I like scrambled eggs and soft boiled eggs but I hate them any other way. I love pop tarts too. And Ally’s baking. And- um, pizza, because my family has pizza night every Friday, but I only like it if it’s either plain cheese or pepperoni, and the pepperonis have to be three on each slice, or I can’t eat it, but that’s mostly because I like the number three. Why do you want to know all of this?”

“Well, I love you and I like knowing things about you.” Camila explains herself. “Plus it’s a good distraction from the current… situation. And if we’re going to be growing old together with our offspring of cats and dogs, I need to know this stuff. So I can be perfect for you.”

Lauren blinks. “I think it will be nice to grow old with you. Okay then. I think we should have matching rocking chairs when we’re old, because a rocking chair would be really nice to stim with. I remember I used to sit on my abuela’s lap in her rocking chair when I was little, and I really loved it. I was always my abuela’s favourite. She would give me candy when my parents weren’t looking and I always let her cuddle me when we sat in her rocking chair together.”

Camila smiles at the mental image. “Tell me more about your family, Lo. All I really know of them aside from the family I’ve met is your _awful_ aunt. Please tell me happy things about your family.”

“Um- well, I don’t really have any cousins that I know. My grandparents are both dead now, my abuelo died first when I was- I think I was ten. My abuela died almost a year ago now, I really miss her.” Lauren says. “Sorry, that’s not really very happy, is it? Uh, I used to spend Saturdays with my abuela when I was younger, I mostly learned Spanish through her. My dad would have work and my mom did extra things on a Saturday so she would drop me, Chris and Taylor off at my grandparents’ house and we’d spend the day with my abuela. She loved me very much, I was her favourite, because I was her first grandchild and she was the one who suggested to my parents that I might have autism before I was diagnosed and she was always really supportive. She cut my aunt off too, when she found out what happened.”

“She sounds lovely,” Camila comments, “I’d love to have been able to meet her. I wish I could’ve met your aunt too, but only so I could kill her myself.”

Lauren snorts. “You’re tiny, you couldn’t. I could beat you in a fight.”

“Look, if I wasn’t in this situation right now, I would prove to you how wrong you are.” Camila scoffs, but then her expression softens and she kisses Lauren’s cheek. “Thanks, Lo. You’re really cheering me up right now.”

“It’s okay.” Lauren rubs her hand along her leg. “I like making you feel better, usually I’m not very good at that because I can’t read people very well unless I’m close to them like I am to you, but even then it’s still hard. I still don’t- um, I don’t understand body language. So… I’m sorry if I mess up sometimes.”

“You’re doing perfectly, Lolo,” Camila cuddles up to her girlfriend in the uncomfortable hospital waiting room. “You’re the best. I just really want my sister to be okay and I’m still so worried.”

“I’ll- uh, well, would you feel better if I took you home?” Lauren asks. “You can cuddle up in a blanket and go to sleep. Then you won’t be thinking about it.”

“I want to stay.” Camila says. “I have to stay. I can’t just go home and nap when my little sister is in here. How would you feel if it was Taylor?”

“Oh,” Lauren seems to deflate, “I’d probably feel the same as you. But I’d get under my special blanket and try to sleep to make myself feel better, because I wouldn’t want to think about it.”

“Yeah, well, not all of us can just cuddle under a blanket and magically feel better.” Camila sighs and rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder. “Maybe I deal with things differently.”

“Are you mad at me?” Lauren blinks in surprise. “I didn’t mean to make you upset. I’m just trying to help.”

“I know,” Camila nods, “but it’s not helping. I know you’re trying, Lo, but maybe just avoid talking to me about Sofi? I don’t want to think about it right now because it’s just making me more worried. My thoughts are going wild and I just- I can’t- I might lose my baby sister and-”

“Hey, no, Camz,” Lauren pulls her in for a hug and rubs comforting circles on her back. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”

“Lauren, I can’t-” Camila sobs into her girlfriend’s shoulder and takes in her comforting scent, so thankful that she came with her, because it really means a lot. Even if she sometimes talks about the wrong things. “I love her so much and she’s so little and-”

“No, babe, don’t think about the bad,” Lauren tells her. “Think about the good. Think about what you and Sofi are going to do together when she’s better. Think about how she’ll- uh, she’ll be a bridesmaid when we get married when we’re older. Think about how she’ll give you a niece or a nephew, and you’ll be Auntie Mila and I’ll be Auntie Lolo.”

“ _Lauren_ ,” Camila murmurs into her neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too. That’s why I want you to stay positive, because you’re like- um, my support. Kind of like Nala, but a living, breathing version. And I really love seeing you happy.” Lauren tells her, lifting up Camila’s head by her chin and forcing eye contact, which shocks Camila completely. “Smile for me, Camz. Please? You’re so beautiful when you smile.”

So, Camila wipes the tears from her eyes and tries her best smile, her stomach flipping when Lauren kisses her.

“See?” Lauren pulls away and wraps an arm around her. “I love it when you’re happy, and Sofi does too, so you should smile for us.”

Camila nods and buries her face in Lauren’s shoulder again, trying to stop herself from crying. “Yeah. I’m trying my best to be calm, but- it’s just hard, you know? She’s my _sister_. I’m supposed to protect her, but I failed at my job.”

“It’s not your fault, if that’s what you’re trying to imply. I can’t tell if you are or not… but yeah.” Lauren rambles. “It’s not your fault. You weren’t looking after her. She ran away while playing with her friends and into the road without looking. Things like this just happen sometimes and-”

“If I hadn’t already made plans, I probably would've been babysitting, and we wouldn’t have been playing near a fucking road.” Camila sniffles, because she knows she’s crying again. “I should’ve offered to pick her up from her friend’s.”

“You couldn’t have known that it was going to happen.” Lauren points out. “I told you, sometimes bad things happen, and we can’t do anything to control that.”

“Everything can be controlled, Lauren,” Camila argues, “ _everything_. God, you’re- just _stop_ telling me things like this, it’s not like you know anything about this anyway, because nobody can. _Nobody,_ not even intelligent people like you. Nobody knows why shitty things happen to good people. Like my sister getting hit. Like your aunt hurting you. These things don’t just _happen_ , there’s always something behind it and-”

Lauren frowns. “Camz, you’re not making any sense-”

“Oh, let me fucking spell it out for you,” Camila snaps, “there’s always something behind bad things. It’s always someone’s fault. If I’d been babysitting my little sister, we’d be at home watching a movie and cuddled on the couch and everything would’ve been fine. If your aunt hadn’t been an ableist bitch, you wouldn’t have these.”

Lauren whines when Camila pulls her sweater up halfway to expose the scars on her lower back. “Stop.”

“My point is, the world fucking sucks and there’s nothing you can do to change that.” Camila lets go of Lauren’s sweater and stands up. “I’m going to go get a coffee.”

Lauren grabs onto her arm and shakes her head. “No. You stay here, your parents might come back. I will go and get you a coffee.”

Camila doesn’t reply, because she’s already collapsed into Lauren’s arms and started crying again. “ _God_ , Lo, I’m so angry right now. Why did it have to be _Sofi_? She’s never said a bad word to anyone. I wish it had been me.”

Lauren shushes her. “No, that’s stupid. Neither of you deserve that. I told you that bad things happen sometimes but you’ll get through it, because you’re strong and Sofi is strong. And you were wrong, not everything can be controlled. Some bad things can be, but those are the ones that involve choice. Like my aunt _chose_ to hurt me. Sofi ran into the road without realising and the driver didn’t have time to stop. None of that requires choice.”

Camila sobs into Lauren’s torso. “I just want my sister to be okay. All I want is everything you said, those good things that you mentioned. That’s what I want. I don’t want a life without my little sister. Or you. Promise me you’ll never go anywhere, Lo.”

“I’ll always be with you,” Lauren promises her, “and so will Sofi. I promise.”

Lauren wraps her pinky around Camila’s, and the younger Latina leans up and plants a kiss on the corner of her girlfriend’s mouth. “I’m sorry that I keep snapping. I’m just so-”

“Your emotions are all over the place.” Lauren interrupts her. “That’s understandable, because I had trouble controlling my emotions when my abuela was sick. I’m not mad at you, it’s not like you said anything bad about me or something like that. You just got a little stressed. It’s not like the last time you were like this, when you committed your _crime of passion_.”

“Oh, god, Lo, I’d never do that again,” Camila buries her face in her girlfriend’s neck and jumps up to give her a koala hug. “I promised you that when it happened and I meant it. I’d _never_ call you anything like that again.”

Lauren seems a little taken off guard by Camila’s koala hug, but the older Latina just kisses her cheek. “I know. I trust you. You go sit down. I’m going to go and get you some cocoa, because that’s way more comforting than coffee. And you can- uh…”

Camila lets go of Lauren and sits down as her girlfriend trails off, watching as Lauren digs through the backpack she brought with her. “I can what?”

Lauren pulls Nala out of her backpack and holds her out. “You can cuddle Nala. She’ll make you feel better, I promise.”

“Lauren, I…” Camila trails off and wipes at her eyes as she looks at her girlfriend’s stuffed lion, “I couldn’t. You hate it when people have her for too long. The only time you ever let me hold her is when you have too many things to hold and you need someone to hold her for a second.”

Lauren frowns. “But- it’s okay. You can cuddle her, it’ll make you feel better. It’s not like you’re bad like people who take her off me for a mean joke. You don’t make her smell a bad different.”

Camila is still a little shocked when Lauren places Nala carefully on her lap. “Are you sure?”

“Positive,” Lauren nods and pulls her backpack onto her shoulders again. “I will go find the café and get you cocoa. I’ll be right back, promise.”

With that, Lauren walks away from her, following the signs that read _hospital café_ and disappearing around a corner, out of sight.

Camila stares down at the stuffed lion in her lap, a little surprised that Lauren had even offered her Nala, let alone dropped her in her lap and walked off. After a few moments of staring at it and thinking, Camila decides _screw it_ and cuddles the stuffed animal up to her chest, and yeah, it’s incredibly comforting. She’s not exactly sure that Nala has some sort of magical properties that make her way more comforting that Camila’s stuffed animal, and she’s pretty sure it’s mostly the way that Lauren’s comforting scent is practically stitched into the toy, but whatever, it’s making her feel better and that’s all that matters.

She has her eyes closed and she’s almost on the brink of sleep when she hears a small, “Hello,” in front of her, and she knows from the familiar raspy tone and the way it’s pronounced ‘hallo’ that Lauren is back.

She opens her eyes and sends her girlfriend the best smile she can muster, but it’s mostly weak. “Hey, Lolo. Did you find the café okay?”

“Yes, it was very easy to find, and I bought you cocoa. I also got myself some green tea, and I bought you a cupcake.” Lauren sets the drinks down and holds out a paper bag. “Here. It’s chocolate chip.”

Camila sits up – apparently she’d sunk down in her seat while cuddling Nala – and takes her drink and the chocolate chip muffin that Lauren had bought her, making sure to balance the stuffed lion on her lap. “Thanks, Lo. I really appreciate you doing all of this for me. You can go home if you’re tired or-”

“I’m not tired,” Lauren sets her green tea down on the chair next to her and takes Nala from Camila’s lap, running her fingers along the stuffed animal’s fabric. “I will stay here with you. Did Nala help?”

“She did,” Camila mumbles through her cupcake, “She’s really comforting. I can see why you love her so much.”

“Yes,” Lauren smiles down at her stuffed lion, “anyway, did anybody come out to give you any news?”

“No,” Camila shakes her head. “Not yet. I hate all this waiting. I should’ve gone through with them but I kind of thought that it wouldn’t- that I wouldn’t like what I saw, you know?”

“Yeah,” Lauren nods and taps against her leg. “I’m sure they’ll be out soon, Camz. They’ll know how worried you are and-”

“Karla!”

At the sound of her mother’s voice, Camila jumps up instantly and nearly spills her cocoa everywhere. Thankfully Lauren’s there to catch it for her. “Mami! How is she? What’s happening? Is Sofi okay? Is-”

“Calm down, mija,” Sinu pulls Camila in for a hug, “she’s not- saying she’s okay would be a lie, but she’s not going anywhere any time soon.”

While the news that her little sister isn’t going to die is a complete relief, Sinu’s answer still doesn’t sit well with her. “She’s hurt?”

“She has a few injuries… broken ribs, a broken leg and some, um, trauma to the head,” Sinu says, hesitating on that last point, “but she should get better. I’ll be okay, mija.”

“Trauma to the head?” Camila blinks in confusion. “She has brain damage?”

“They’re not sure yet.” Sinu answers, looking back towards the double doors she’s just come through. “It seems like your papi and I will be here for a while, though. I came out to give you the car and house keys. I want you to go home and get some rest. Lauren?”

Lauren, who had been staring down at Nala, looks up in surprise, as if she hadn’t expected to be addressed. “Yes?”

“I’d like you to drive the both of you back to our house, and please make sure she gets rest,” Sinu tells her as she gives Camila the keys, and kisses her on the top of her head, “we’ll call when we know more. I love you, mija.”

With that, Sinu turns back around and heads straight back through the double doors, leaving Camila stood in shock. Lauren places their drinks to the side and stands up, gently taking hold of Camila’s hand and leading her back over to the seats.

“Camz?” Lauren gets her attention. “I have to take you home now. Sit down and I’ll get everything packed up.”

In some sort of daze, Camila nods and sits down, watching as Lauren stuffs Nala back into her backpack, and then picks up both of their drinks, throwing the remnants of Camila’s chocolate chip muffin in the trash.

“Okay,” Lauren rocks herself on her heels and holds out Camila’s half-drunk cocoa. “Here you go. Let’s go to the car.”

Camila doesn’t speak as she follows Lauren to the car, watching as her girlfriend drains her cup of green tea and drops the empty container in the trash. Then, Lauren grabs hold of Camila’s free hand and walks her to the parking lot, getting into her parents’ car. Camila sips on her cocoa the whole way home, aware of Lauren singing along to the radio as she drives, and when they finally pull up in her driveway, all Camila wants is to curl up in her bed and cry.

Naturally, when they get inside and Camila does just that, Lauren climbs into bed next to her and snuggles up to her. “Camz? You heard your mom, right? Sofi is going to be okay, eventually.”

“She might not. Not if she has some form of brain damage,” Camila sniffles and holds Lauren as closely as she can. “Sure, physical injuries will heal, but it could be really bad.”

“Or she could be fine,” Lauren offers, “your mom said the doctors don’t know yet. That could be a good thing. She could be perfectly okay.”

“Yeah. Could be.” Camila nods into Lauren’s shoulder. “Can you just… hold me? My phone is on loud so if my parents ring it’ll wake me up. I just want you to hold me, Lo.”

“Yes, of course,” Lauren wraps her arms around Camila and kisses her temple. “Get some rest, Camzi. I’m here if you need me.”

“Is it okay if-” Camila cuts herself off and shakes her head. “No. That’s stupid. Never mind.”

“No, tell me,” Lauren is quick to answer. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I was wondering if I could hold Nala, maybe,” Camila fiddles with the hem of her t-shirt. “It’s a dumb idea, because you need her and-”

Camila cuts herself off, because Lauren has already pressed Nala into her arms, keeping one hand on her stuffed lion’s tail. “We can share her. Now go to sleep. If you need anything and I’m asleep, just wake me up.”

“I- okay,” Camila says, too worn out to protest, “goodnight, Lauren.”

“Night, Camila,” Lauren replies, and Camila closes her eyes and takes in her girlfriend’s comforting scent. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Camila says, “and Lo? Thanks for everything.”

“It’s okay.” Lauren assures her. “You don’t have to thank me.”

Camila doesn’t bother replying, because she’s asleep in minutes, her dreams plagued with worries about her little sister’s wellbeing.


	33. Chapter 33

It’s been a week since Sofi’s accident, and Lauren has noticed a lot of changes in Camila’s attitude. Usually at lunch when they’re at school, she’ll be messing around with Dinah or making some dorky jokes, but she’s been incredibly quiet. Their friends always try to pull her into the conversation as a means of distraction, but Camila always stays glued to Lauren’s side, fiddling with her fingers.

While Lauren doesn’t mind that she has all of Camila’s attention, she still thinks it’s weird, because her girlfriend isn’t normally like that.

“Hey, Lauser,” Dinah nudges her when Camila heads out of the room with Ally to get a drink. “Has she been quiet with you all week? Mila, I mean.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods and taps on her leg, “I- um, when I walk her home, I’m the one doing all the talking, which is really weird because I’m usually the quiet one.”

“Be there for her when she needs you, Lo,” Dinah tells her, “she feels like she can’t call you to come over if she’s upset because she doesn’t want to stress you out with unexpected plans. She told me that on the phone the other night.”

“Really?” Lauren blinks in surprise. “But I’m supposed to be a good girlfriend and look after her when she’s sad. How am I supposed to do that if she won’t tell me she’s upset?”

“Tell her that she can talk to you when she needs it,” Dinah explains, “then she’ll call you and you can get your good girlfriend-ness on.”

Lauren hums in thought and glances up to see Dinah staring at something else. So, she follows her friends’ gaze and her eyes land on Normani, who is across the room talking to a friend. “Why are you staring at Manibear?”

Dinah tears her gaze away from their friend immediately. “I wasn’t.”

Lauren frowns. “Yes you were. I just saw you. Don’t lie, lying is bad.”

“Ralph,” Dinah turns to her with an odd expression, and Lauren glances down at her feet. “Drop it. Okay?”

“But- why were you staring?” Lauren asks again, because she wants to know why, since she can’t read body language as well as their other friends. “I don’t understand.”

“I _wasn’t_ ,” Dinah argues, giving her a light shove, “shut up, Lauser.”

Lauren continues voicing her train of thought. “It’s rude to stare, that’s what my dad always says to my brother when we go out as a family and he stares at a girl. I remember I used to stare at Camz a lot when she wasn’t looking. Oh, wait, that makes sense. Is that why? Do you like Manibear?”

“Oh my god, be _quiet!”_ Dinah shoves a hand over Lauren’s mouth and pulls her into the art department’s computer room, sitting her down in one of the desk chairs. “You can’t tell her.”

Lauren frowns to herself. “Tell her what?”

Dinah rolls her eyes. “Tell her that I like her.”

“Oh, I won’t tell her if you don’t want me to,” Lauren promises, but then she realises that she has the perfect opportunity to get Dinah back. “You like her, though. So I can make fun of you, like you did to me when I liked Camz.”

“Not in front of her. You can’t do anything that might make her think I like her.” Dinah warns her. “I can’t lose her, Mani is one of my best friends and if she found out…”

“If she found out she could be your girlfriend. And then you’d both be really happy.” Lauren finishes for her, because she thinks that’d be cute. “I bet you were looking at her ass earlier.”

“Ralph. Shut up.” Dinah shoves her again and Lauren frowns, because she doesn’t like that. “You’re not supposed to be teaser. You’re supposed to be the tease- _ee_.”

“It’s funny,” Lauren shrugs and fiddles with the sleeve of her sweater, “I’m going- um, I’m going to be the captain of Norminah. Like you’re the captain of Camren.”

“Look, you know I trust you, but you really can’t say anything to Mani,” Dinah says again, and Lauren frowns, because she’s already promised that she wouldn’t. “It’d ruin everything. I’m trying to get over her and I don’t want anything to get in the way of our friendship.”

“I already said I wouldn’t, duh,” Lauren rolls her eyes and taps on her leg. “Can I go now? You’re getting rather boring.”

Dinah snorts. “Thanks, Lo. A little blunt, but… okay.”

“Did I upset you?” Lauren asks in surprise. “I didn’t mean to. I was just-”

“Being honest,” Dinah interrupts her, “I know. Come on, let’s go back to the others. Chancho and Smallz will be back by now, and even if they aren’t, Mani will be wondering where we are.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods as she follows her back into the main art room. “Can’t leave your girlfriend waiting.”

“Lauren Michelle Jauregui, you’re the worst,” Dinah shoves her again and Lauren pouts in response. “Keep your mouth shut, alright?”

Lauren huffs, but sits back down at her usual spot, frowning when she sees Camila holding her sketchbook, but then she notices that her sketchbook is where she left it on the table. So, she turns to her girlfriend with a frown. “Camz? Whose is that?”

“It’s yours,” Camila replies, putting the sketchbook down. “Your old one. The one you finished.”

“Oh,” Lauren blinks in realisation and shuffles closer to Camila, looking down at the page her girlfriend had left it on and recognising one of the portraits she’d done of Camila. “Yes. I didn’t know you still- um, had it. I kind of thought you’d maybe put it somewhere in a box in your attic. Or something.”

“Of course I wouldn’t do that,” Camila quietly replies, “Like you told me when you gave it to me, it’s part of your soul, and I’m going to look after it. It makes me feel… calm. To know that you trust me enough to look through it and keep it safe. It’s like a little window into your mind and I use it to help forget about other things.”

“I didn’t- um,” Lauren blushes and looks down at her feet, “I didn’t realise it meant that much to you. I thought you’d just look through it once and put it away somewhere.”

“Nope,” Camila shakes her head and flicks through the sketchbook again, holding it open on a painting Lauren had done of her. It’s one she’d done for her art class, and she’d used colours to represent how Camila makes her feel. “This one is my favourite. There’s a lot of blues in it, and I’m assuming it’s because you- uh, you like the colour?”

“Blue makes me feel calm. You’re blue, you’re- um, you make me feel safe and at home,” Lauren tries to explain, “and I wanted to show how I felt with colour. There are some purples and reds in there too, because purple is a nice colour and- um, red means love. But purple- Lucy is like a muted purple, and the word soulmate is vibrant purple. And love and you- um, it makes vibrant purple. It makes romantic soulmate.”

Camila frowns at her, closing the sketchbook and putting it on the table, and Lauren doesn’t know what she’s said wrong. “What do you mean by that?”

“By- um, by what?” Lauren blinks, because Camila hadn’t been very specific. “I’m sorry if I said something wrong.”

“No, Lolo,” Camila shakes her head, “you didn’t. I just want to know what you mean when you call things different colours."

“Oh, well, um,” Lauren shrugs and taps on her leg, not sure how to explain, “it’s this thing- uh, synaesthesia. It’s a sensory thing, where- um, it’s hard to explain. It’s kind of like one sense triggers another. But I see things as colours. Like, you’re blue because you make me feel relaxed and at peace, and it’s kind of like my painting. The 1975 are like a navy colour, but you’re like a warm baby blue, which is my favourite type of blue.”

Camila blinks at her. “That’s really interesting. I didn’t think you actually saw colours when you say things like that. I just thought that you were trying to explain things in a different way. Can you tell me other types of colours you see? Like, for your family, or Dinah, Mani and Ally?”

“My parents are both red, because I love them very much and red means love. Chris is a dark grey colour, and Taylor is a nice muted teal. Manibear is like a warm pink, because she makes me happy and I love warm colours, they’re the best.” Lauren says, rubbing on her leg. “Dinah is green, because she’s vibrant but can also be very calming and I love it. And- uh, Ally is a warm yellow, because she’s like sunshine, but it’s not too bright because really bright colours hurt my eyes since it’s too much sensory input.”

“What about things like music?” Camila asks. “You mentioned something about The 1975 being navy blue.”

“Yes, they are,” Lauren nods, “their music is navy blue and I love stimming with it. Lana’s music is like a turquoise colour and that’s nice to stim with too.”

Camila nods. “How do you stim with music?”

“Well, I stim with particular songs,” Lauren says, pulling her iPod and earplugs out of her jeans pocket. “Like- um, I have a playlist of songs that are really wonderful to stim with, and a lot of the time I like to listen to one of my favourite songs on repeat as a way of stimming, and that’s always really wonderful.”

Camila hums in thought, and Lauren feels her girlfriend’s hand touch her leg, and she rests hers on top and gives Camila’s hand a small squeeze, because Camila always squeezes her hand when she’s upset, and Lauren wants to do the same for her girlfriend. “I love it when you talk about things that make you happy, Lo. You always get really excited when you talk about stimming.”

Lauren nods. “Yes, because lots of people don’t like it when I talk about things like stimming. They look sad with me and I don’t want to upset people. I think it’s because neurotypical people don’t stim, and they think it’s weird.”

“I thought there was a different word you used for people who aren’t autistic,” Camila points out, “you said it before.”

“Oh, yes, but you don’t have to be autistic to stim,” Lauren says, “lots of allistic people stim, just most of them aren’t neurotypical. People with anxiety and ADHD and things like that stim a lot, but they might do it for different reasons. You don’t need to be autistic to stim, it’s just that we do it the most, so it’s seen as a trait.”

“Oh, okay,” Camila nods, “thanks for being the talkative one for the past week, Lo. I know you’re more of a listener, and I really appreciate all of the distractions you’ve given me.”

“That’s okay,” Lauren replies, rubbing on her leg, “I like making you feel better.”

“Will you walk me home again tonight?” Camila asks her as the bell signalling the end of lunch break rings. “I know it’s a little out of your way, but I really appreciate the company. I hate being left alone with my thoughts. It sucks because tonight my parents will both be out so it’s kind of inevitable that the negative thoughts will be there with me, but I’d like to delay that for as long as I can.”

“Yes, I will walk you home. Promise,” Lauren says and kisses Camila’s cheek as her girlfriend packs her things away, because she’d already been planning on walking her girlfriend home. “I will meet you outside your classroom. You have double math now, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Camila pulls her backpack onto her shoulder as Ally and Normani walk over to join her since they’re in the same class next. “I’ll see you at the end of the day. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Lauren easily answers, leaning forward and kissing Camila goodbye. “See you later.”

Then, Lauren waits until her girlfriend has left the room to flick to a clean page in her sketchbook and start drawing, knowing exactly what she’s going to do for her next project.

-

Lauren is walking Camila home from school like she’s done every night this week, and Camila is being exceptionally quiet. So, she decides to ask her girlfriend what’s wrong.

“Camz?” Lauren gets her girlfriend’s attention. “You’ve been really quiet all this week. Why?”

“I’m just really stressed right now, Lolo.” Camila tells her, squeezing her hand. “You don’t need to worry. It’s just all of this stuff with Sofi is kind of… it’s-”

“Oh,” Lauren interrupts, “well, I realised that Sofi would be a reason, but you weren’t as quiet as this when it happened, and she’s coming home tonight, that’s what you told me yesterday. That means she’s improving.”

“I saw her last night, and this time she was- uh, she was awake,” Camila starts, biting down on her bottom lip. “She was so confused and she couldn’t- she found it really hard to talk and she seemed kind of… glazed over? My parents are already looking at speech and physical therapy, but they’re not sure she’ll improve and I’m so- I just don’t want things to be hard for her. I don’t want my baby sister to suffer.”

Lauren pulls Camila in for a hug and kisses the top of her head. “I know you don’t. I know I’d feel the exact same way if it was Chris or Taylor in Sofi’s position, and- um, I’m here for you. Whenever you need me.”

“Thanks, Lo, but-” Camila cuts herself off with a sigh. “I know how you are with spontaneous plans and I’d never want to upset you-”

“No, it’s okay, I’m offering,” Lauren rocks herself on her heels as they stop in front of Camila’s driveway, “you need me right now and I’m going to be a good girlfriend and be there for you. It doesn’t matter if I’m a little uncomfortable, because I’ll- um, I’ll adjust.”

“You don’t have to do that for me,” Camila pushes herself up on her tiptoes and kisses the corner of Lauren’s mouth. “I’ll be fine, eventually.”

Lauren frowns to herself, because Camila isn’t smiling and it’s not making her feel any less uncertain about her girlfriend’s mood. “Would you like me to stay with you tonight?”

Camila glances up at her in surprise. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods and taps her hands against her pants, “I have been planning on asking you all day, especially since Dinah told me you didn’t feel like you could ask me to stay with you. So I will stay, if you want. But I need to know, so I can go home and get Nala.”

“Alright. Yes. I’d really appreciate it if you could stay.” Camila squeezes her hand and Lauren watches with a smile. “I know that Sofi will love to see you.”

“Okay.” Lauren leans down and kisses Camila goodbye. “I am going to go home and get Nala and my overnight things. I will be back as soon as I can. Promise.”

“Can you be quick?” Camila quietly asks, still not letting go of her hand. “My parents are both out and I don’t really want to be alone for long.”

“Um… I can come in with you now and text my mom and tell her to bring Nala and my overnight things.” Lauren offers, pulling out her phone. “I don’t want to leave you alone, Camz.”

“Okay,” Camila nods and pulls her up the driveway. “Would you mind holding me for a little while? I know that you’re usually the little spoon and stuff, but… I just really need to be comforted right now. All week I’ve just felt so down.”

“I like holding you,” Lauren voices her train of thought as she follows Camila inside. “It makes me feel like I’m protecting you and being a good girlfriend.”

“You’re always a good girlfriend, baby,” Camila assures her, kicking her shoes off, “you’re so amazing at this. Really.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “Good, because I didn’t know what I was doing at first. I am glad that you feel that way.”

“I love you, Lo,” Camila tells her as they walk upstairs, and Lauren feels her stomach do a backflip, “and I really appreciate everything you do for me. You’re so supportive and I’m so glad I have you as my rock.”

“Your rock?” Lauren blinks in confusion, because she doesn’t know what that means. “I’m not a rock. I’m quite soft and cuddly, actually.”

Camila laughs as Lauren pokes herself in the tummy for emphasis. “No, it was kind of figurative, Lo. You being my rock is like you being my support system. You’re always there for me.”

“Oh, in that case, yes,” Lauren nods to herself, “and you’re mine too.”

After a few moments of silence, Camila moves to sit on her bed and squeezes Lauren’s wrist. “I stalked your Tumblr the other day when I was feeling down, actually. I didn’t know you posted things about me.”

“Oh, yes,” Lauren nods, “I post lots of things on my Tumblr, especially personal things. I also follow many other autistic people on it, because I like people that I can relate to.”

“Do you ever wish that-” Camila cuts herself off with a sigh and Lauren responds by taking her jeans off and climbing into bed next to her girlfriend, wrapping her arms around her protectively. “Do you ever wish that I was autistic too? Or that you were dating someone you could relate to like that?”

Lauren blinks in surprise, because that thought has never crossed her mind before. “No. It would be nice, like how Lucy has Asperger’s and we relate to each other a lot, but it means you’d be different to who you are right now, and I like you for you and wouldn’t want you to change. Do you ever wish I was allistic?”

“No,” Camila shakes her head, “I don’t. Like I’ve told you before, your autism is a part of who you are. And I love who you are.”

“I think I would be different if I wasn’t autistic.” Lauren says, rubbing her hand along her leg. “I don’t know if it’d be a good different or a bad different, though. I like being me a lot of the time, so I’m going to say a bad different. Maybe I’d- um, go to lots of parties. I don’t know.”

“I’m not autistic and I hate parties,” Camila points out, “I think you’d be pretty similar to how you are now, except maybe with more sarcastic comments. And you’d get my sarcasm, too.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Yes, maybe. It feels weird to think about what I’d be like if I wasn’t autistic. I don’t- um, I can’t imagine me not stimming. I don’t understand why allistic people don’t stim. Stimming is really comforting, I love it.”

Camila shrugs. “I guess we just don’t feel the need like you? I don’t know. I didn’t even know what stimming was until I met you. I didn’t know what a lot of things were until I met you.”

“I am glad that I could educate you.” Lauren smiles to herself, because she likes knowing that she’s taught Camila something. “It is nice to know that I have taught you things. I love making people more aware, like how Dinah, Mani and Ally are all educated on autism because they’re friends with me.”

“Thanks for making me better, Lo,” Camila says, and Lauren doesn’t really know what she means. “You changed me.”

Lauren frowns. “How? I didn’t do anything.”

“You did,” Camila assures her, squeezing her hand, “honestly, I was such a bitch before I met you. I let Sandra and Marielle influence me, and that’s not an excuse. I was so quick to judge everyone and I didn’t care about anything but myself. I judged you when I first met you before you’d even said a full fucking sentence to me. I even- back home Sofi would ask to play with me and I’d just- I’d fucking blow her off for my friends.”

“You judged me?” Lauren frowns and taps on her leg. “In a bad way?”

“Yeah,” Camila nods and rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder, “but you changed all that. You’ve made me so much better, Lolo.”

“You made me better too,” Lauren tells her, because it’s true. “You taught me to- um, to stand up for myself. Because I’m good enough and people should accept me the way I am and I don’t have to change to please anyone.”

Camila plays with Lauren’s fingers. “I just really wish we’d gotten off to a better start. I wish I could go back in time and slap past Camila and tell her that you’re so important to her. Us. Me. Whatever.”

Lauren laughs. “Yes, but you going back in time would change things in the present. Like the butterfly effect. Things like that are really interesting, especially the Mandela effect conspiracy. I remember last summer lots of conspiracy theories became one of my special interests. It’s not one anymore though.”

“That stuff just gives me a headache,” Camila replies, “I’d rather be peacefully oblivious to all of the conspiracies.”

“I have lots of documentaries about many conspiracies, like the moon landing.” Lauren rambles, thinking that maybe when she gets home she’ll watch something. “It’s so interesting, and I like how lots of documentaries leave it open so you can form your own opinion.”

Camila opens her mouth to reply, but she’s cut off by a call of “ _Karla!”_ and Lauren is completely stunned when Camila jumps up and runs out of the room, leaving Lauren by herself. Lauren isn’t sure whether she should follow or not, and Camila hadn’t told her what to do, so she decides to stay put and picks up Fluffy, who as Camila had promised is now residing on her bed. It’s not Nala, but Lauren uses Camila’s stuffed animal to stim and rests her head on the pillow, humming to herself.

She doesn’t know how long she’s there for, because she hadn’t been paying much attention to the time. But, when Camila comes back into the room with an odd expression on her face, Lauren drops Fluffy and sits up, tapping on her leg. “Hello.”

“Hey,” Camila answers, “Sofi’s home. She’s in her room, uh… I told her you were here and she wants to see you.”

“Oh, okay,” Lauren stands up and follows Camila through the house and towards a door, frowning when Camila doesn’t knock, because that’s rude. “Camz, it’s rude not to-”

“Lamp.”

Lauren blinks in surprise at the nickname and looks down at the bed to see Sofi bundled under the covers, Sinu sat on one side of the bed holding the girl’s hand. Lauren frowns, because Sofi seems a lot smaller than she remembers, but it’s only been a week.

Gingerly, Lauren sits down on the other side of the bed and sends the youngest Cabello a small smile. “Hello, Sofi.”

She jumps a little when Sofi takes hold of her hand without asking, because usually she would. She always asks Lauren to pick her up and things like that, so she’s a little surprised when she doesn’t wait for Lauren’s consent to touch her.

“She’s a little- um, dazed,” Camila says, sending her mom a sad smile as Sinu kisses Sofi’s forehead and leaves the room. “Apparently she hit her head pretty hard on the concrete. I don’t- uh, I didn’t really listen to the grizzly details.”

Lauren taps on her leg with her free hand. “Well, um… are you feeling better?”

Sofi frowns at her and shakes her head, and when she talks, it comes out all stuttered and stumbled over. “Chest hurts. My l-leg… broken.”

“Oh, Camila told me you can’t talk very well,” Lauren observes, not noticing how Sofi’s demeanour seems to crumble. “That’s okay. When I was little, I couldn’t talk very well either, but I’m good at it now. When I was seven like you I stuttered a lot and couldn’t pronounce lots of words, but I got better. It just takes time, and now I’m fluent in two languages. It’ll be okay eventually.”

Shakily, Sofi points to a long cut on her arm. “Will be- um, a s-scar.”

“Scars aren’t bad.” Lauren tells her, because she doesn’t like how sad Sofi looks and how Camila is looking anywhere but her sister. So, she turns around and holds up her sweater. “See. I have scars on my back. And- um,” Lauren pauses to roll up her jeans leg as high as she can, “a scar on my knee. I fell and it cut open and got infected, and now I have a really weird scar. Just because you have scars doesn’t mean you’re not pretty.”

Sofi actually smiles at Lauren’s words, and Lauren is a little taken off guard when Camila hugs her. “Thanks for comforting her. We’re all- we’re going to be okay. Aren’t we, Sofi?”

And when Sofi nods at Camila’s words, Lauren finds herself smiling too. Her smile fades when she notices Camila’s glassy eyes and realises that her girlfriend might not believe herself. 


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for ableism/ableist slurs.

 

Lauren taps her fingers against her pants as she walks through the corridors, one hand stimming and the other hand on her backpack’s straps. She makes her way to the art classroom as usual, a little earlier than she normally is because she’d had a free period, but she figures that’s just more time to work on her drawings.

She’s a little confused when she opens the classroom door and things are different. Her teacher smiles at her in greeting as usual, but Lauren is incredibly confused when she sees Camila sat at their usual lunchtime table, with some other girl in _Lauren’s_ seat.

“Camz?” Lauren rocks herself on her heels as she gets her girlfriend’s attention. “You’re here early.”

“Oh, yeah, Ariana and I were let out of class early. She’s new and I said she could sit with us at lunch.” Camila explains, nudging Ariana. “Ariana, this is Lauren. She’s one of the girls I was telling you about.”

Ariana smiles at her, but Lauren avoids her gaze, because she doesn’t like eye contact, especially with people she doesn’t know. “Hi there. Like Camila said, I’m Ariana.”

Lauren frowns. “You’re in my spot.”

“Lauren,” Camila sends her an odd look and pats the free seat next to her, the one that Dinah usually occupies. “It doesn’t matter. Just come and sit here.”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and shakes her head. “No, because that’s Dinah’s seat. I want to sit in my spot, I always sit there, it’s my space during art class and I sit there during lunchtimes and it’s part of my routine.”

“Calm down, Lo,” Camila stands up and guides her into her seat instead. “You can sit in my spot and I’ll steal Dinah’s seat. She won’t care.”

“But it’s my spot, I want to sit in my spot,” Lauren says, rocking backwards and forwards on the chair that Camila had forced her into. She flaps her hands in front of her in an attempt to communicate her frustration. “I want my spot, let me sit in my seat.”

“Mila, honestly, it’s fine,” Ariana stands up and Lauren practically dives into her usual spot, missing the strange look Ariana shoots her. She hears the other girl murmur under her breath, “what’s wrong with her?” and Lauren tries to ignore it, because she doesn’t know Ariana and she doesn’t care what she thinks, because she doesn’t want to be friends.

Camila sits down with a sigh and shifts closer to Lauren, “Babe, you could’ve been more accommodating. It’s just a seat.”

Lauren frowns, because Camila is supposed to understand her and she doesn’t know why her girlfriend is acting so strangely. “But it’s my seat. I sit here all the time, every class and lunchtime.”

Camila sighs again and turns back to Ariana. “So, Ari, tell me about yourself.”

Lauren tunes out as Ariana speaks, tapping against the table. She decides to get her sketchbook out and set to work on a new piece, a little confused when the other girls don’t show up after the lunch bell rings, because usually they’re all there quite quickly. But she doesn’t question it, because she’s too busy sketching the outline of Camila’s hand, which is rested on the desk a few inches away from her.

She’s just about to start adding detail when she hears a gasp, and once she’s turned back to her sketchbook after picking out a thicker pencil, she realises why.

Ariana had knocked her coffee all over Lauren’s sketchbook.

Lauren is frozen for a moment, blinking down at her now ruined prized possession in shock, the realisation that all of her hard work is gone taking a long time to sink in. Once it hits her, Lauren goes into hysterics, sobbing and rocking backwards and forwards on her chair.

“She ruined it!” Lauren cries, looking up at Camila. Her girlfriend is blurred through her tears and she can’t make out her expression. “She ruined my art! I don’t like her, I want her to go away. Make her go away.”

“Lauren, calm down,” Camila reaches out and touches Lauren’s shoulder, and the older girl recoils immediately. “It’s okay, you can start a new sketchbook and-”

“I can’t! I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” Lauren sobs, flapping her hands in front of her, “I can’t start a new one until I finish the old one. But she ruined it, she ruined all my work, it took forever! I don’t like her.”

“Lo, you can’t just say you don’t like someone right in front of them. That’s rude,” Camila tells her, but Lauren doesn’t care, because she doesn’t like Ariana and she’s just telling the truth. “It’s okay, we’ll fix it.”

“We _can’t_ ,” Lauren reiterates, because her sketchbook is ruined and probably none of her drawings will be salvaged. “Can’t fix it. She ruined it. I hate her.”

“ _Lauren_ ,” Camila grabs her by the arm and Lauren hits out on instinct, because she doesn’t want to be touched right now and Camila had been rather rough with her. She catches Camila on the upper arm and immediately shifts away from her, crying into her hands. “ _God_ , I’m trying to fucking help you here.”

Lauren doesn’t reply, because she’s not sure she can. She’s far too frustrated to get the words out. It’s made even worse when she hears Ariana loud and clear this time say, “What the hell is wrong with her?”

Lauren feels her heart break in two when she hears Camila scoff and snap, “Nothing. She’s just a fucking retard.”

“Lauren!” When Lauren hears the same voice, she pulls away, because she doesn’t want to be anywhere near Camila after that. No, because she hurts far too much.

But then something shakes her. “ _Lauren_. Lo. Wake up! Oh my god, please wake up, Lolo.”

Lauren’s eyes snap open and she meets a pair of familiar chocolate brown eyes. The room is quiet for a moment, aside from Lauren’s sniffling, until Camila speaks up again, her voice raspy from sleep.

“Hey,” Camila leans down and kisses her cheek, “you were having some sort of panic attack in your sleep. I- I didn’t know what to do other than wake you up, so… hi. Are you feeling okay?”

Lauren blinks in confusion and wipes at her eyes, sitting up and taking in her surroundings. She’s in Camila’s bedroom, not the art classroom, and there’s no new girl there to upset her and her sketchbook is as pristine as usual, rested on Camila’s nightstand. “I- it was just a dream?”

Camila sits up too and Lauren feels her weave their fingers together. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“I- um, yes,” Lauren wipes at her eyes again and looks around the room, double checking that everything is real, because that dream had been far too vivid for her liking. “I had a nightmare. About you.”

“About me?” Camila blinks in surprise. “Did I die or something? Because I promise I won’t. Well, not yet anyway. I will one day, hopefully a very long way in the future though. But you never know, I could- I’m really not doing well at comforting you, am I?”

Lauren frowns, because none of Camila’s words had really gone into her head. She’s still busy dwelling on what Dream Camila had called her. “No, it was worse than you dying.”

“Worse than dying?” Camila repeats, pulling Lauren close and locking her fingers at the back of her neck. “Hey, Lo, look at me for a second. I’m here, okay? Not going anywhere.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Lauren says, glancing up and meeting Camila’s warm chocolate irises before looking back down at her feet. “You- um, you called me the ‘r’ word. In my dream. And this girl you made friends with ruined my sketchbook, and- um, it was awful. It was so real, Camz.”

“You know I’d never call you that. Ever.” Camila kisses her cheek and gives her a soft squeeze around her midriff. “I love you, Lo. And if someone ever ruined your sketchbook I’d hunt them down and mess them up, because I know how much your art means to you.”

Lauren closes her eyes and tries to erase her dream from her mind, because this was real Camila. And real Camila loves her and would never hurt her. Real Camila understands.

“Yes.” Lauren nods and kisses her girlfriend, before snuggling her face into her neck. “It was still the worst, though. I don’t- I don’t think I want to go back to sleep now. What time is it?”

Camila reaches around Lauren to push the home button on her phone, lighting up the screen. “Half three.”

Lauren cringes. “I woke you up, didn’t I? By having my nightmare.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t matter,” Camila shrugs, “so long as you’re safe and happy. I’d never sleep again if it meant you’d always be happy, and I’ll gladly stay awake with you now.”

“You will?” Lauren asks, and she smiles a little when Camila nods in confirmation. “Okay then. Um… can we talk about things?”

“Sure, babe,” Camila squeezes her hand and pulls her back down so they’re laying together. “What do you want to talk about?”

“How is Sofi?” Lauren asks the question at the front of her mind. “Is she feeling better?”

“Um… physically, yeah,” Camila seems to quieten down a lot, “In a few months she’ll be as good as new in that aspect. It’s just the speech stuff she’s having a lot of trouble with, but my parents are organising speech therapy for her. Did you ever go to speech therapy when you were little? You know, because you couldn’t talk very well?”

“Um, no. I just- um, kind of did it on my own.” Lauren shrugs and fiddles with Camila’s fingers. “Like, I picked up on words and then I’d say them when my parents asked me a question, and they’d always look really proud. I liked that, so I tried harder to make them happy. And then when I met the girls it was like constant interaction and I wanted to talk to them. But- um, I could help Sofi? If you want me to.”

“I’m sure she’d love that,” Camila says, running her fingers through Lauren’s hair. “She really looks up to you. You’re like a big sister to her already.”

Lauren beams, because the thought of her being a part of Camila’s family is cheering her up a lot. “Yes. Would you like that? If I was a part of your family and you were a part of mine?”

“Well… it will be like that. One day.” Camila says. “By law, anyway. But we’re already our own little family, Lo. You, me and our future pets.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “Good. You’re making me forget about my bad dream.”

“That’s the goal,” Camila replies, and Lauren feels her girlfriend dot kisses on the side of her face. “I don’t want you to think about that.”

“I hate that word,” Lauren voices her train of thought, “the ‘r’ word, I mean. It’s the worst word in the world. I don’t know why my brain is making me dream that you’ll call me it, because I know you won’t. You know I’m not that. But part of my brain is being stupid.”

“It’s like when you have dreams about the people you love forgetting who you are.” Camila explains. “You know it won’t happen, but your mind likes freaking you out with the thought anyway. One time you told me that sometimes our brains work against us, and I think that’s what happens in the case of nightmares.”

“You’re not mad at me, are you?” Lauren asks. “Because I dreamt that?”

“I’d never be mad at you, baby,” Camila assures her, and Lauren feels her girlfriend’s hand slip under the hem of her pyjama shirt and start tracing circles on her tummy. “You don’t control what you dream.”

Lauren snuggles further into Camila and nods. “Okay. Good. I don’t want you to be mad at me. Can we play Scrabble?”

Camila blinks at her. “That was a quick subject change. And I would say yes, because I know you’re basically a Scrabble professional, but we don’t have it. We have Monopoly, though.”

“Okay, I will play Monopoly with you.” Lauren says, climbing out of bed and rocking herself on her heels. “Where do you keep it?”

“Closet,” Camila nods towards her closet, “that’s where I keep most of my stuff. I think a lot of it is because I spent ninety percent of my life in the closet and part of me just didn’t want to let go of my old home.”

Lauren laughs and flings open Camila’s closet door, thankful when her girlfriend turns her bedside lamp on so she can look through more easily. “When did you come out? To your family, I mean?”

“I, uh, I never really did,” Camila admits, sitting up in the bed. Lauren notices how her girlfriend absentmindedly twizzles Nala’s tail, and she’s a little surprised, because she’d never seen Camila stim before. “I think the time I officially confirmed I wasn’t straight was when I told my parents I’d be going on a date with you. I’d never really said anything before that. But I’ve never sat them down and been like ‘mom, dad, I’m bi’. What about you?”

“Oh, my parents were more shocked to find out that I actually like boys too,” Lauren says as she locates the Monopoly box and sets it down on the floor. She opens the box and sends Camila a small smile when her girlfriend sits down next to her, grateful when Camila drops Nala in her lap. “I’d always liked girls more, and when I was little I only ever seemed to like girls. When I liked my first boy they were really shocked.”

Camila frowns. “How many other crushes have you had other than me, Lo?”

“Oh, um… I think seven? That I can remember, anyway.” Lauren says. “Five girls and two boys. The first crush was at my first school and it was on this girl in my class and she was always really quiet, but everyone else was really loud and I think that’s why I liked her. My second crush was on another girl at that school, but she- um, she wasn’t a student, she was a volunteer from the local middle school and she was so nice to me, I really liked her. My third crush- um, was on Manibear. But she doesn’t know that. Mostly because she really looked after me when I met her and she was so lovely, but I stopped liking her when she became my best friend. And after that I didn’t get any other crushes until I started my art class and I met…”

“You met Lucy,” Camila finishes for her, and Lauren blushes, because she hadn’t realised she’d been that obvious. “It’s okay. You didn’t have to go all quiet. I’m not jealous of her anymore, because I know you love me.”

“But, um, I didn’t meet Lucy until after I’d been at art class for a year, because she didn’t start until after me.” Lauren replies. “I liked Keana before I liked her. But I got over them both, because Keana is straight and Lucy has a girlfriend. After I liked Keeks and Luc, I liked this boy called Keaton in eighth grade. And then after that at the end of freshman year, um, I liked this boy called Luis… he’s still- he still goes to our school, he’s friends with Shawn I think.”

“I think I overheard the girls talking about that, when they thought you had a crush on me. They were surprised by the thought of you liking a girl though.” Camila replies. “Didn’t you tell them you liked girls?”

“No, not until I admitted to Manibear that I liked you, and then I told her about all of my other crushes on girls.” Lauren explains. “Aside from the one on her, she doesn’t know about that. Anyway, I would like to collect all of the dark and light blue properties, so if you land on them, please can you not buy them? I would like all of the blue ones.”

Camila bursts out laughing, and Lauren doesn’t know what she’s said that’s so funny. “Lo, that’s not exactly how Monopoly works. If you land on any property, generally you buy it. Especially if it’s the dark blue ones, since they cost the most for rent once you put hotels and houses on them.”

“That’s not true, I never buy the orange ones because I don’t like orange.” Lauren says, picking out the dog piece and placing it on the _go_ square. She waits as Camila picks out the racecar and places it on the same square before rolling a six and landing on one of the light blue ones. She picks up some of her fake money and practically throws it in Camila’s direction. “I would like this one.”

Camila laughs and lets her buy the property, before she takes the dice and rolls an eight. Lauren practically deflates when her girlfriend lands on the second of the three light blue properties, but her good mood is back in an instant when Camila passes on buying it because she’s ‘saving her money’.

(On Lauren’s third go, she lands on that same property and buys it, not noticing how Camila had tampered with the dice so she wouldn’t miss it.)

As the game progresses, Lauren manages to get all of the light blue properties and starts buying as many properties as she can to put on them, and she’s also on her way to collecting all of the purple ones. They have a little blip when Lauren lands on one of the orange properties and tries to cheat to get off it, but other than that, their game runs by smoothly.

(You know, aside from the few tantrums Camila pulls when she has to pay Lauren $2000 dollars’ worth of rent when her girlfriend obtains the dark blue properties too.)

Naturally, when Lauren has piles and piles of fake money and Camila is left with one fifty dollar bill, she starts to grovel. “Lo… you know you love me?”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums in reply, too caught up in rolling the dice to reply properly. “Yes.”

“Well, because you’re such a loving, giving, caring person…” Camila starts, shifting closer to her and kissing her cheek. “You should give me half of your money. You know, because you love me and I’m such a good girlfriend and all that.”

Lauren shakes her head, because Camila isn’t playing by the rules. So, she gets the instructions out of the box and drops them in her girlfriend’s lap. “That’s not how you play. Read the rules.”

“Yeah, but I mean, who needs rules when you have love?” Camila wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist and pouts. “Like… I think in a game of _life_ , love wins over all. Money doesn’t buy happiness, you know.”

Lauren hums. “Yes, but money buys me all of my blue properties, and that’s pretty much the same thing. Also, I’m winning, which is making me pretty happy too.”

“Yeah, but who needs to win when they have _love_?” Camila keeps going, dotting kisses along Lauren’s jawline. “Like, when you have an amazing girlfriend like me, you don’t need to win, because you’re already winning in life. So typically, you should give me half of your money.”

“That’s illegal,” Lauren says, “it’s not in the rules. Anyway, it’s your roll.”

Camila rolls the dice, and naturally, ends up on one of Lauren’s properties. When Lauren holds her hand out for the $400 rent, Camila holds up her fifty dollar bill and pouts. “Lo. I can’t give you this. I have a _family_ to feed. What will my kids do? What will my _wife_ do? You’re destroying a family here, Lo. I can’t handle this tough economy.”

Lauren snorts. “Well… your family will be fine, because they’re our family. I’m your wife, and look at all of my money. It’s okay to admit defeat, Camz. It’s not shameful to rely on your family’s breadwinner.”

Camila sighs and hands over the last of her money, flopping backwards and letting out a loud groan. “Honestly, this economy is so hard to live in. Rent is so high, and don’t even get me started on the taxes. Luckily I have you as my saviour.”

Lauren smiles and pulls Camila in for a hug. “Yes. I’m your hero.”

Camila beams and wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist. “So, that basically confirms that I don’t lose and I get half your money. Thanks, Lo.”

With that, Camila grabs an armful of the fake money that Lauren had neatly piled up by amount and jumps up, running away. And Lauren won’t stand for a cheater. So, she jumps up and follows Camila, tackling her onto the bed, causing her girlfriend to drop the money everywhere.

Lauren pins Camila down and sends her a teasing grin. “No cheating.”

Camila leans up and kisses her. “It wasn’t cheating. You not so explicitly said we were a family, therefore the money was _both_ of ours. I was just taking my cut.”

Lauren laughs and shakes her head. “No. You cheated. So I’m going to tickle you for it.”

“Lauren Michelle, don’t you- _dare!”_ Camila cuts herself off with a laugh as Lauren digs her hands into her sides mercilessly and tickles her as much as she can. The older girl is caught a little by surprise when Camila flips them over and pins her to the bed. “Hah. Got you. Time for my revenge.”

“No!” Lauren exclaims, grabbing Camila’s hands by the wrists. “You’re not allowed to do that, that’s bad.”

“Fine. I guess you’ll have to go through the torture of making out with me, then.” Camila says, before she leans down and kisses her. Lauren feels her stomach squirm as Camila takes her bottom lip between hers, and she takes the next step to deepen the kiss, her nerves set alight as her girlfriend’s fingers trace her jawline.

When Camila pulls away, Lauren pouts. “Kiss me more.”

“Nope,” Camila shakes her head and moves off her, starting to pick up the scattered Monopoly cash. “That’s what you get for tickling me. A taste of what you want.”

Lauren scowls at her. “Tease.”

Camila laughs. “Exactly. Torture, right? Anyway, help me clear this up. If you’re good, maybe I’ll kiss you again. _Maybe_. But that’s what you get for taking all my money off me and making me starve on the streets.”

Lauren sighs and moves off the bed to help Camila clean up. “You’re so dramatic. I told you, I took you in and we got married, and I’m the sole income of the family.”

“Yeah, well maybe I like being financially independent, Lo,” Camila turns around and grins at her, “next time we play this, I’m going to crush you. Just you wait.”

Lauren smiles. “Yeah, we’ll see about that. I’m great at board games.”

Camila just laughs. “You never know. Maybe I was going easy on you.”

Lauren rolls her eyes in response and keeps helping with the tidying, the memory of her nightmare lost in the back of her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't proof read so let me know about typos. Also the smut is coming. Just be patient.


	35. Chapter 35

****_Camz <3 (12:34PM): LOLO_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:34PM): HI_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:34PM): I LOVE U_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:34PM): _ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:34PM): LOOK IM CRYING DIS HOW MUCH I LOVE U_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:36PM): Hi, Camzi. Are you okay? Why are you typing in caps lock?_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:36PM): idk i just love you lo_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:36PM): can i come over? my parents are taking sofi to her speech therapy thing and i don’t want to be alone in the house_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:37PM): Okay. If you want. I’m home alone too actually, my family are out with some of my parents’ friends and I don’t like them, they’re too loud, especially their kids. I’m under my special blue blanket and I’m watching The Lion King 2._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:37PM): so basically ur typical weekend??? that’s cool i’m in i’ll be over in twenty mins bc my mom said she’d drop me off on the way to sofi’s appointment_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:38PM): I will leave the door unlocked for you so you can just come in, because I’m quite comfortable under my blanket. I’m in the lounge too, watching the big TV. I might order a pizza later because I think that’s what I want for dinner and my family will probably still be out. Will you stay for pizza?_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:38PM): pizza is one of my fav things of COURSE im staying for it duh_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:39PM): also i decided i needed a distraction and i finally had enough money so i booked disney :) we’re going on july 4 for a week (it was cheaper for 7 days than for 4 bc of this package deal thing i found) so yeah_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:39PM): What? :O_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:39PM): You really booked it? We’re definitely going to Disney?????_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:40PM): yep :D we’re staying in the animal kingdom lodge since that’s ur fav park and my mom helped me pay for this dining plan thingy for the restaurants in downtown disney so basically our meals are prepaid_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:40PM): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:40PM): I am going to get my journal because before you told me we would only be going for a few days at the most but now I can plan for a full week! I’m so excited for this, I already have a rough plan for the few days you’d said we’d go for, so I need to extend it for a week. And it’s quite close too, only really like a month._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:41PM): i know u turn eighteen in like a month my lil lolo is gonna be a fully qualified adult_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:41PM): I turn eighteen in a month and nine days, which means Disney is in a month and sixteen days. And I get my dragonfly tattoo in a month and twelve days, I have already booked my appointment and I am very excited. Next month will be a good month. :)_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:42PM): would u want me to go with u to ur tattoo thingy? in case u want a hand to hold and stuff_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:42PM): Yes please, I would also like you to see my dragonfly when it is done. It’ll be very pretty and it’ll make me more badass. :)_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:43PM): setting off to urs now_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:43PM): and hell yeah it’ll be badass and i’ll be able to tell everyone i’m dating an eighteen year old with piercings and tattoos_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:43PM): i’ll just leave out the part where ur the human embodiment of a puppy_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:44PM): I can be scary if I want to be. I can be lots of things when I want to be them._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:44PM): u?????? scary?????? never_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:45PM): I can be! I’m just not a lot of the time because I don’t want to be. But I can._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:45PM): ok sure my small sweet precious summer child u tell urself that_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:45PM): You’re my small sweet precious summer child because I’m older than you. Technically when we’re in Disney I’ll be your responsible adult guardian since I’ll be eighteen and you’ll only be seventeen._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:46PM): im younger than u by 8 months shut up lolo_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:46PM): Everyone is telling me to shut up lately. DJ did a few weeks ago when I noticed her staring at Manibear, and I already promised I wouldn’t tell Mani she liked her, so I don’t get why she kept telling me to shut up. I was only teasing her._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:46PM): dinah likes normani????? as in romantically????_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:47PM): Yes. Anyway, when we’re at Disney can we go on the special jungle walk in the Animal Kingdom? It’s like a tour and it’s 45 minutes long, but you get to see all sorts of animals. I read about it just now on the website._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:48PM): sure lolo, but did dinah actually tell you she likes mani? are you sure you didn’t misinterpret that or something_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:48PM): I am going to pencil that into my schedule for day two, but there are only six parks I think (including the waterparks) so we’ll be able to go to the Animal Kingdom twice, since that’s my favourite park. I’m not really bothered about Epcot though, so maybe we can skip that and have three Animal Kingdom days._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (12:49PM): hold on we’ll continue this conversation in approx. 30 secs i’m at ur house_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (12:50PM): Okay, I’m in my lounge. Lock the door behind you._ ** **

Lauren drops her phone on the couch next to her as she hears the front door open and close, and she looks up to see Camila walking into the room with a smile on her face. Her girlfriend flops down on the couch next to her and pulls Lauren’s blanket up so it covers them both.

“Hey, babe,” Camila leans over and kisses her cheek and Lauren’s stomach squirms. “So, what’s this about Dinah liking Normani?”

“Yes, Dinah was staring at Manibear, and I asked her why, and she said she likes her and that I couldn’t tell Mani,” Lauren recites, tapping on her leg, “I think we should get them together. Because Dinah is your best friend and Mani is my best friend, so we can say things to both of them to make them- um, _get their asses in gear_. That’s what they both said to me when I wouldn’t ask you out. Anyway, I’d like to talk about Disney now, if that’s okay.”

“No, wait, I’m not done asking you about Dinah and Mani,” Camila shakes her head and Lauren feels her take hold of her hand, “Do you know if Mani likes her back?”

Lauren shrugs. “I don’t know. I didn’t ask. But- um, I’m the captain of Norminah. Like how Dinah is the captain of Camren.”

Camila pouts. “When do I get to be the captain of something?”

“We can be co-captains,” Lauren suggests, “and we can meddle so they’ll get together and fall in love and be happy. I think you’ll be better at the meddling, though. I’m not very good at being subtle, I’ve been told.”

Camila laughs. “Yeah, you’re not really the queen of subtlety. Actually, now that I think about it, I was really oblivious to your feelings. I guess most of it was just me not thinking you could like me.”

“Why wouldn’t I be able to like you?” Lauren asks with a frown. “I can like whoever I want.”

“Exactly,” Camila agrees, and Lauren frowns even more, because her girlfriend is making no sense right now. “You could like anybody you want. But you picked me. The thought in itself was just kind of confusing to me, because you could have anyone, but you chose me.”

“Well, I like you,” Lauren shrugs and taps on her leg, “I _love_ you. I didn’t choose to like you, it just kind of happened. At first I wanted to stop liking you, because you were kind of mean and I didn’t think you’d like me back. But then we went on a date and you got better. Now you’re not mean at all.”

“Yeah,” Camila laughs and kisses her temple, “I did have a bit of a bitch streak. But we’re over that. And of course I’d like you back – kind of obvious now because we’re dating – but you’re the cutest. I find it hard to believe you don’t have thousands of people knocking down your door.”

“It’s because I’m autistic,” Lauren replies, stimming with the fabric of her blue blanket, “and I know you’re going to tell me it’s not that, but it is. People don’t want to date me because of it. I know that you know that’s dumb and lots of good people understand that autism is not bad, but it’s still demonised in society in general and lots of people avoid me because of it. Um- sometimes people hit on me but then they realise I’m not like them and stop. I used to care a lot, because I was always really worried that I’d never find anyone to love me for me. But I have now, so I don’t need to worry. I found someone that loves me for me, and if people don’t, they can fuck off.”

Camila smiles and Lauren snuggles up against her girlfriend. “Yeah. They can fuck off. Because you’re perfect. Also, you know, I don’t want competition in the winning your heart department, because that’d suck if someone took you away from me.”

Lauren snorts. “You already won my heart, so it’s fine. You have mine and I have yours, and nobody can change that. Even if someone tried to be competition, I would tell them I just wanted to be friends, because I love you.”

“And I love you. Everything about you.” Camila kisses her cheek and Lauren feels her face heat up, because she loves it when Camila says wonderful things to her. “What kind of witchcraft did you use to be so perfect, huh? And can I get a little dose of it?”

“I didn’t-” Lauren cuts herself off in realisation, “You’re joking, aren’t you? I wish I could do witchcraft though, I’d make it so I could fly. And that I could teleport Nala to wherever I want her. And that- um, that people accepted autism more, because it’s just a different way of thinking. And that people stopped quiet hands.”

Camila frowns at her. “Quiet hands? What’s that?”

“It’s, um, well… abuse, to put it properly,” Lauren bites down on her lip, because she doesn’t like thinking about bad things like this. “Therapists – bad ones – use it to make people stop stimming, but stimming is good, so it’s rather counterproductive. They say it and you’re supposed to stop stimming, but I never did, because I like stimming, it makes me feel happy and I’m not hurting anyone by doing it.”

“I love your stims, Lo,” Camila tells her, “because they’re part of you. Fuck anyone who tells you otherwise.”

Lauren laughs. “Yeah, fuck them, because they’re uneducated and they’re in the wrong.”

“I like how your stims help me know how you’re feeling.” Camila continues. “Like… you tap on your leg when you’re upset or nervous. Sometimes rubbing means you’re nervous too, but it’s a different type of nervous. Other times rubbing means you’re happy, and I know that when you bounce a little too. Bouncing is always a happy one. Flapping your hands means you’re really frustrated and upset. When you run your fingers over something it means ‘I like this’. Humming a song means that you’re relaxed, and humming one note means you’re thinking hard.”

Lauren blinks in surprise. “I didn’t realise you’d picked up on all that.”

“I’m your girlfriend and I spend ninety percent of my time with you.” Camila points out. “If I _hadn’t_ picked up on it, it’d be more of a shock. Besides, I like being able to tell what you’re feeling. That way I can be there for you when you need me and I can tell when things make you happy so I can encourage you to keep talking about them.”

“Yes,” Lauren smiles to herself, “you make me do happy stims. Sometimes you make me nervous still, like I’m falling in love with you all over again, but it’s not as scary because I know you’ll be there to catch me.”

“Yeah,” Camila kisses her and Lauren smiles, resting her hand on her girlfriend’s waist and smiling when she feels the silky material of Camila’s shirt. “Forever.”

Lauren rubs the material of Camila’s shirt between her thumb and forefinger. “This is nice to stim with. You never wear horrible scratchy materials, your clothes are always really nice against me when I cuddle you.”

Camila snorts and touches her hand to Lauren’s bare hip. “I would say that the clothes you’re wearing right now are nice too, but you’re not wearing any, are you? Because you’re under your special blanket.”

“I’m wearing my _Lion_ King underwear.” Lauren hums to herself. “I never wear clothes under my special blanket because the material is nice against my skin. It’s a way of stimming. My parents don’t care, so long as I stay under my blanket and tell them when I want to go somewhere else in the house so they can bring a t-shirt or something to me.”

“It _is_ pretty soft, I’ll give you that.” Camila agrees, feeling the material of Lauren’s blanket. “Anyway, do you want to go back to watching _The Lion King_ now? It’s paused on your TV.”

“We can have it on as background noise, because I like to have background noise sometimes, especially if whoever I’m with is getting boring so I can tune them out and listen to something else.” Lauren says, rubbing on her leg. “Like- um, how I ignore people when they’re boring.”

Camila just kisses her and presses play on the movie. “Talk to me about your Disney plans, Lo.”

“Oh, well, I have lots of pages in my journal dedicated to it, because my journal- um, it’s not really like a diary, a lot of the time I don’t write about my day in it. Sometimes I do, but not always.” Lauren explains. “It’s like, some of the pages are dedicated to planning. I know that you’re my girlfriend and I’d trust you with my life, but you’re still not allowed to look in it, because it’s my personal journal. Also, I have things in there I don’t want you to see, like- um… things.”

“Things like things?” Camila laughs, “Alright, babe. That’s fine. I trust it’s nothing serious.”

“Oh, no, it’s a good thing, and you’ll find out eventually,” Lauren assures her. “Just not now.”

“One of your amazing surprises, is it?” Camila asks, smiling when Lauren nods her head in confirmation. “Cool. I’m willing to wait then. I know your surprises are famous for being the best in the world.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “Yes. This one will be very good, I promise. Anyways, I have lots of plans for Disney and I’m going to work on an outline for the whole week now that I know we’re there for that long. I am very excited.”

“Well, it’s your trip, basically,” Camila says, “so you make all of the decisions on what we do. I’m just there for the ride. Both figuratively and literally, because you know, theme parks tend to have rides.”

“I will hold your hand when we go on Space Mountain.” Lauren promises, because she remembers that Camila is frightened of big rides, and Lauren wants to make her happy. “I will look after you, don’t worry.”

Lauren nods. “Yes, and I am especially excited for-”

Camila frowns when Lauren cuts herself off, and she’s even more confused when the TV shuts off and turns to static. Then she hears the thunder and she thinks she knows what’s going on. There’s a storm outside.

“Lo?” Camila turns to her suddenly very quiet girlfriend. “Aren’t you going to keep talking about Disney?”

Almost as if it’s answering for her, thunder rumbles outside and Camila sees the flash of lightning and the way Lauren cringes at it and pulls her blanket up to her chin.

“I don’t like storms.” Lauren quietly admits. “They’re scary. I- um, I want my mom.”

“Your mom is out, baby,” Camila reaches under Lauren’s blanket and squeezes her hand. “But I’m here. I’ll look after you during the storm, and your parents will be home soon. I promise.”

“I don’t like storms.” Lauren repeats, whimpering at another crack of thunder. Camila wraps her arms around her girlfriend and pulls her close, reaching over and grabbing Nala, pressing her into her girlfriend’s hand.

Lauren takes Nala and pulls her up to her chest, and Camila kisses her girlfriend’s temple. “Lo? It’ll be okay. The storm will pass, they always do.”

“But I don’t like them.” Lauren murmurs. “Make it go away.”

“Would you feel better if we went up to your room and put some music on?” Camila asks, knowing how loud Miami storms can be. “We can put it on really loud and block out the noise of the storm. It’ll be like a big fuck you to mother nature.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “can we put The 1975 on? They are my favourite band and they make me feel better. Or Lana, I love Lana too. I want to go and see Lana one day, I think her concerts aren’t as intense as The 1975’s.”

“I’ll take you to both. When I have the money,” Camila offers, keeping Lauren wrapped in her blanket as she walks her up the stairs. “I’m all wiped out from Disney right now. If it wasn’t for you getting me that guitar for my birthday, I probably wouldn’t have saved back up for it until I’m like, _thirty_.”

Lauren lets out a weak laugh, a little distracted from the sounds of the storm. “Is it good? The guitar, I mean. Does it sound okay?”

“It sounds amazing,” Camila says, because it really does, “even my barre chords sound perfect on it. It’s such a warm sound, I love it.”

“Good. That’s what I wanted. I wanted you to love it.” Lauren says as Camila rests her on her bed. “My speaker is over there. It’s Bluetooth, so you can use my phone. You know my passcode, don’t you?”

Camila nods and types in Lauren’s passcode, _0397_. She figures out how to use the speaker and puts on Lauren’s ‘ _stimming’_ playlist, turning it up so it blocks out the thunder from outdoors and checking that her girlfriend is okay. “Is that good?”

“Yes.” Lauren nods and curls further under her blanket. “Come and cuddle me? I know that the storm is still happening and it’s making me nervous.”

“Of course,” Camila smiles and gets into her bra and underwear, before getting under Lauren’s fluffy blanket with her. She smiles when her girlfriend cuddles into her, and she runs her fingers through Lauren’s hair and sings along to songs she knows to make her girlfriend feel better.

Somehow, they both end up falling asleep, Camila keeping Lauren safe in her arms. 


	36. Chapter 36

“Hey, Laur,” Normani nudges her, and Lauren tears her gaze away from _The Lion King_ and focuses on her best friend’s necklace. “Is it cool if Dinah and Camila come over and hang out with us? DJ just texted and told me that she’s with Mila and they’re both pretty bored.”

“Yes, I would like to see Camz, she is my girlfriend.” Lauren announces, turning back to the TV and snuggling closer to Normani. “That way I can cuddle Camzi and you- um, you could cuddle Dinah. If you wanted.”

Normani laughs. “Yeah, I don’t think Dinah and I will be cuddle buddies any time soon, Lo.”

Lauren frowns, because she wants Normani to cuddle Dinah, because she wants them both to be happy together. But she’s not allowed to tell Normani that Dinah likes her, so she has to be subtle. “Why not? Cuddling is nice, and I’ll be cuddling Camz when she gets here. It’s nice to have a cuddle buddy.”

Normani shrugs. “I don’t think she’d be into that. I’m going to text Ally and see if she’s free too, but I think she mentioned she was going out with her family today. Something about going to her grandma’s for dinner.”

“I used to go to my abuela’s for dinner all the time.” Lauren smiles to herself. “I bet Ally will have lots of fun if she’s busy doing that. If she’s not, then she’ll have lots of fun with us.”

Normani hums in reply, and asks her something completely off topic. “How have things been going with you and Mila? You haven’t spoken to me much about her lately.”

“Oh, things are wonderful.” Lauren beams when she thinks about how Camila had booked Disneyworld. “She’s taking me to Disney and we’re going to go on all of my favourite rides and see the _Lion King_ show that they have there.”

“Are you sure she’s doing that?” Normani asks her. “Disneyworld is really expensive. Are you sure she didn’t just mention the _idea_ to you?”

“No, she said she’s booked it, and- uh, we have a meal plan too. And we’re staying in the Animal Kingdom, which is my favourite park.” Lauren tells her, turning around and sending her an enthusiastic smile. “You can ask her when she gets here, but we are definitely going for a week. July 4th to July 11th.”

“Oh, seriously?” Normani sends her a surprised look. “How’d she get the money for that?”

“She was saving up for a new guitar, but I bought her one on her birthday, so she doesn’t need to save up for that anymore.” Lauren says. “And I think her mom helped her pay for it too. I am taking some money with me so I can pay for some things for her, though. I want to buy her a Stitch toy, because she really loves Lilo and Stitch. She is going to buy me another _Lion King_ plushie, too.”

“I’m glad things are going well for you, Laur,” Normani squeezes her around the waist and Lauren nuzzles her face into her best friend’s neck. “I know how much she means to you. You don’t know how happy I am that you’ve found someone.”

“Yes, Camz is my someone.” Lauren smiles to herself. “She loves me and she will always love me, she promised forever. I am happy I have her, because she’s one of my soulmates and I love her lots. I was always- I used to be really worried that I would never get to fall in love. But I have now, and I am very happy. I have her and I am happy.”

“That’s good to hear, Lo. Honestly.” Normani smiles at her. “I know that I was a little wary of her at first, but I do think she’s good for you now. I’ve seen how much better you’ve been since you met her. You were always so quiet around new people but now you’ll strike up conversation with the cashier at the grocery store just because.”

“Yes, because I can,” Lauren says. “I am- um, I can talk to people. If I want. Because I’m just as good as anyone else, and if I do something they don’t think is normal and they don’t like me for it, it just means that they’re closed minded. Not that there’s something wrong with me.”

“Mila’s made you believe all that?” Normani looks at her in surprise. “Yeah. I’m damn glad you have her, then. I know how hard things like that were for you before. At first I was kind of worried that you were only Mila’s girlfriend when it was convenient for her, you know? On your good days or when you weren’t visibly different to everyone else. But she’s there for you a lot, like that time we all went to the mall and she looked after you.”

“Camzi looks after me a lot.” Lauren says. “And I look after her, because we’re in love and that’s what you do when you’re in love. But anyway, um, you should cuddle with Dinah when she comes. Because it’d be unfair if you and Dinah are left without cuddle buddies but Camz and I have each other.”

Normani sends her an odd look that she doesn’t understand. “Why do you want me to cuddle with DJ so much, Lo?”

“I don’t, I just-” Lauren cuts herself off and thinks of the best way to explain herself, and realises that all Dinah had said to her was that she wasn’t allowed to tell Normani she liked her. “I am the captain of Norminah. That’s why I want you to cuddle.”

Normani raises an eyebrow, and Lauren goes through all of the possible meanings for that in her head. “You’re the captain of _Norminah_?”

“Yes. Like how Dinah is the captain of Camren,” Lauren explains. “Camz is my co-captain, actually. It’s fun, I’ve never been the captain of a ship before. But I am now.”

Normani laughs. “Oh, alright then. Since when did you ship me and Dinah?”

“Since, um,” Lauren frowns in thought. “About a month and a half ago is when I started, because I think you two would be cute together. Don’t you?”

“Uh, I can’t say I’ve ever thought about that, Lo,” Normani replies. “Does Dinah know you ship us together?”

“Yes, she knows,” Lauren nods, “and so does Camz, because she’s my co-captain of the ship. I don’t think Ally knows though. I should tell her so she’s not the only one who doesn’t know.”

Normani just smiles at her. “What made you start shipping us? Since this is a recent development and all.”

“Oh- um,” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, not sure how to answer that, because the correct answer would be ‘Dinah likes you’ but she’s not allowed to tell Normani that. “I can’t tell you that.”

“Why not?” Normani frowns. “You know you can tell me anything, Laur. I’m your best friend.”

“Yes, I know, but this is not my secret to tell, so I cannot say.” Lauren replies, not bothering to lie, because she knows that Normani can tell when she’s lying. “It’s not my secret. You can’t tell things that aren’t your secret.”

If anything, Normani frowns even more. “Has Dinah said something to you?”

“I- um,” Lauren quickly shakes her head. “No.”

“That’s a lie, you did your tell,” Normani points out, grabbing Lauren’s hand which is twizzling a strand of her hair, something she always does when she lies. “What’s going on, Lo? Is something wrong with Dinah?”

“Why would there be something wrong with me?”

Lauren looks up and breathes out a sigh of relief when she sees Dinah walk into the room with Camila stumbling after her, struggling to untie the laces on her shoes.

“Cheechee, you said you’d wait for me!” Camila finally takes her shoes off and launches one in the general direction of Dinah’s head. “Not cool.”

“Don’t blame me, Walz,” Dinah throws Camila’s shoe back at her. “Not my fault I overheard my dear friends over here gossiping about me. Now answer my question, Lauser. Why would there be something wrong with me?”

“Oh, um, no,” Lauren shakes her head. “There’s nothing, Mani just asked that and I don’t know why.”

Dinah looks over to Normani with a frown. “Well? Explain, please.”

“No, it doesn’t matter,” Normani shakes her head, and even Lauren picks up on how she seems like something is off. “Lauren just said something that made me worried. But it’s cool, clearly you’re fine.”

“Oh really?” Dinah sits down next to Lauren, and the older girl wriggles out of Normani’s grip and tries to jump up to greet Camila. Instead, Dinah laughs and signals that she’s going to touch her, and Lauren stops. “Care to enlighten us on what you said, Ralph?”

“Um, no,” Lauren shakes her head and pulls her arm out of Dinah’s grip, jumping up to say hello to her girlfriend. “Hey, Camz. Will you cuddle with me? I was cuddling with Manibear before, but I’d rather cuddle with you now you’re here.”

Camila leans in and kisses her. “Of course I’ll cuddle you, baby. We’ll take the other couch and Dinah and Mani can have that one, yeah?”

Lauren looks up at meets Camila’s gaze for a moment, and she sees an odd smile on her girlfriend’s face. “Yes. They can share that couch and we will cuddle on the other.”

“Perfect,” Camila sends Dinah a smirk and the Tongan girl returns it with a glare. Lauren is oblivious to their staring match as Camila tugs her over to the other couch and they curl up next to each other, Lauren turning her gaze back to _The Lion King_ , because they’re at the big fight scene between Simba and Scar and that’s one of the best parts. “How’s your weekend been so far, Lolo? Sorry I haven’t seen you much, Sofi wanted me to go to speech therapy with her yesterday and then I figured I’d take her out to get ice cream.”

“It has been a good weekend.” Lauren says, a little more focused on the TV. “I had a sleepover with Manibear last night. And- um, and my mama took me to dinner on Friday night, we went to an Italian restaurant and she made sure we were sat in the quietest part so I’d feel better and I was going to- um, order a cheese pizza because you know how I like my pepperonis to be three on each slice and usually that doesn’t happen at restaurants, but my mom told them to make it exactly like that and they did. I am really happy because she’s been extra understanding lately.”

“That’s amazing, babe,” Camila kisses her and Lauren feels her stomach flip. “I’m glad to hear that things are okay with you two now. Come closer though, I’m cold and I want to leech all your body heat off you.”

Lauren laughs and cuddles as close to Camila as she can. “There. Is that better?”

“Yeah.” Camila smiles. “Hey, China, Mani, aren’t you guys cold too? Maybe you should cuddle for warmth.”

Lauren giggles when Dinah glares at the two of them, but the Polynesian girl turns bright red when Normani throws an arm around her shoulder and pulls her close. Lauren hears Camila stifling a laugh at the shock on Dinah’s face.

“Um, Mani?” Dinah looks up at her. “You know they’re just fucking around, right? You didn’t actually have to do that.”

“I figured I’d might as well indulge the captains of Norminah,” Normani sends both Lauren and Camila a pointed look, but if anything, it just makes them laugh more. “We know how you were whenever Camren over there would do anything.”

“Oh,” Dinah quietly replies. “Okay then.”

Lauren smiles to herself and turns to Camila again. “Did you do that on purpose?”

Camila shrugs. “Depends on what you’re talking about.”

“Telling Mani and DJ to cuddle,” Lauren clarifies, tapping on her leg. “You said they should because it’s cold, but did you do that so they actually would? Like, a prompt?”

“Yeah, Lo. I figured since we’re both such great captains, we should put Operation Norminah into place.” Camila whispers, squeezing her hand. “I’ll give you the full details of the plan later. When we’re alone.”

“What’re you two whispering about?” Dinah calls out to them, her shock apparently worn off. “Surely you can share the gossip with the rest of the room.”

“I was just asking Lauren if she knew if Ally is coming or not.” Camila decides to speak up before Lauren can, because she knows how bad her girlfriend is at lying. “Is she?”

“I texted her but she’s with family.” Normani replies. “But Dinah is right, you _were_ being kind of sketchy. You sure that’s all you two were talking about? Maybe Lauren can confirm that for me.”

Lauren keeps one hand on the hem of Camila’s shirt and stims with it, the other tangled with Camila’s fingers. “Yes. We were talking about Ally.”

“Oh, alright then,” Normani nods. “I’ll believe it from you.”

Camila and Lauren exchange a small smile, and then Lauren cuddles up to her girlfriend again. “I like your sweater, Camz. Can I steal it one day? Like how you stole one of mine?”

“Sure.” Camila nods. “Feel free to come over and raid my closet.”

“Good.” Lauren allows herself a satisfied smile. “Your clothes smell like you and I like the way you smell. You wear a nice perfume, like vanilla. You made Nala smell like you when I let you hold her that time, and I slept really well the night after because it was like you and Nala were the same person. That’s why I let you hold her, because I know you won’t make her smell a bad different.”

“Wait, hold up,” Normani interrupts them before Camila can reply. “You let her hold Nala? You won’t even let _me_ hold Nala, and I’ve been your best friend since third grade. Actually, I remember one time you cried because Ally accidentally brushed against her, and that was only like two years ago.”

Lauren pouts. “I don’t like it when people touch Nala, that’s why I cried, because Ally touched her and I didn’t say she could.”

“Yeah, exactly. You hate it when people touch Nala.” Normani says. “So why’d you let Mila?”

“Oh, she was sad and we were at the hospital, it was when Sofi was hit,” Lauren says, rubbing her hand along her leg. “And I thought that Nala would make her feel better, because Nala is magical, she always makes me better. So I thought she could help Camz too.”

Dinah looks between the two of them with a smirk. “Walz, you realise you basically married her if she let you hold Nala for more than five seconds, right?”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Trust me, I was as shocked as you two when she offered her up. I was even more shocked when she didn’t even supervise me with her.”

“I had to get you some cocoa.” Lauren says, because she couldn’t watch Camila and get cocoa at the same time. “You needed it to feel better. That’s why I gave you Nala, too. Like I said, she’s magical, she makes you feel better straight away.”

“I mean, I have to admit, she is very comforting.” Camila replies, and Lauren pulls her stuffed lion up to her chest. “Probably because she smells like you and you always smell good.”

Lauren laughs. “Really? I, uh, I don’t wear perfume because a lot of the time one spray is too much and it makes me feel sick.”

“Yeah, but everyone has a natural scent.” Camila reminds her. “And yours is really comforting. You smell like… dusk. And home. That’s what Nala smells like too, so obviously she’s going to be comforting. Because you are.”

“Oh,” Lauren hums in thought. “Well, it’s quite fortunate that my natural scent is nice, then. It’d be a bit sad if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t want to smell bad. But I shower every day, so it’s probably that. I can’t go more than two days without showering because it makes my skin feel funny and I don’t like it, because I imagine all of the horrible germs on me. And germs make you sick, and I haven’t been sick since that time you came over and looked after me.”

“For some reason, I don’t think your natural scent is whatever body wash you use.” Camila laughs. “It’s more- um, it’s more like something that you’re born with, and that’s why Nala smells like it too, because you’ve had her for such a long time.”

“Yes, I’ve had Nala for fifteen years, eleven months and…” Lauren pauses to work it out, “one hundred and sixty days.”

“I don’t get how you do that,” Dinah says, before turning to Normani, “seriously, she did stuff like that when we were like, ten. And even though I’m good at math, I wouldn’t- I don’t get why you work out things like that.”

Lauren shrugs. “I like dates. Time is fascinating, because everything is fixed once it happens. I think it’s kind of stupid that people talk about the possibilities of time travel and time manipulation, because if you change something in the past, something would be different in the future. And- um, time is a human construct, anyway. It isn’t even really real.”

“Okay, enough of the existential talk,” Normani interrupts before Camila or Dinah can say anything. “Save that for when you’re high, Laur.”

Lauren shrugs and cuddles up to Camila again, but the younger Latina frowns. “When she’s high?”

“Oh, yeah, sometimes we have little parties- just me, Dinah, Ally and Lauren,” Normani explains, “we keep the music quiet and stuff like that, and DJ, Ally and I drink. But Lauren doesn’t like getting drunk, because of the hangovers after, so she gets high.”

“Lauren Michelle,” Camila turns to her girlfriend with a surprised expression. “I didn’t know you did _that_. But then again, you’re ‘not as innocent as I think’. So it’s not _much_ of a shock.”

Lauren shrugs and bites down on her lip. “I only do it when I know that they’re all going to be getting drunk and that we’re sleeping over here. Are you mad at me?”

“I’m mad that I haven’t gotten to see high Lauren yet,” Camila nudges her playfully, “but _you’ve_ seen drunk Camila. I don’t think that’s fair.”

Lauren relaxes and laughs, because she’s glad that Camila isn’t mad. She knows that her mom definitely would be. “Well, next time you should come. And you can get drunk with everyone else while I get high. And then you’ll see high Lauren.”

“Alright then, deal,” Camila squeezes her girlfriend’s hand, “but you know for a fact that drunk Camila enjoys being a clingy girlfriend, so high Lauren better be prepared for that.”

Lauren laughs. “I like your attention. So it’s okay.”

“Good,” Camila smiles, “I’d be worried if you didn’t want my attention. That’d mean you’re losing interest, and I need my Lolo lion’s interest.”

Lauren nuzzles against Camila’s chest. “You’d never lose my interest. I love you.”

Dinah makes a fake gagging noise. “You two are gross.”

Camila smirks at her. “Well, you and Mani look pretty cuddly right now. I could say the same to Norminah.”

“Shut up, Chancho,” Dinah rolls her eyes, “this here? Strictly platonic. But you and Ralph? That’s some disgusting ass romance fest. No thanks.”

“Doesn’t look very platonic to me,” Camila shrugs, and Lauren has to hold back her laugh when Dinah turns bright red, “but whatever. Sure. Lauren and I will keep our love on the down low.”

Lauren pouts. “No, we won’t.”

And then, Lauren straddles her girlfriend’s lap and kisses her confidently, because nobody is allowed to tell her to hide her feelings for Camila. Nobody.

When Lauren pulls away and sits back where she was before, she feels Camila kiss her cheek with a smile. “Thanks for proving my point, babe. It’s cruel to make us be quiet about it. So shut up, Cheechee. Lauren and I will be as lovey-dovey as we want.”

Dinah sends them both a mock scowl. “I hate you both.”

After whispering to Lauren that Dinah’s only joking and she doesn’t actually hate them, Camila smirks. “We hate you too.”

“Hey, Manibear,” Lauren glances over at her best friend, “are you- um, team Camren or team Dinah? You have to pick a side.”

Normani looks between them for a moment and shrugs. “Well, three against one wouldn’t be fair. Team Norminah.”

Lauren hears Camila holding back a laugh, and she looks to Dinah, and even she can read them embarrassment on her friend’s face. She feels kind of bad, because she knows how bad it is for your friends to embarrass you in front of your crush, but when she remembers how much Dinah had done it to her, she stops feeling bad, because she’s getting her revenge. And when someone pranks you, you have to prank them back.

Dinah brought this on herself, Lauren decides.

Camila gets her attention again. “Come with me to get a drink, Lo?”

“Okay,” Lauren stands up and follows Camila into the kitchen, and the second they’re out of Dinah and Normani’s earshot, Camila speaks again.

“We need to figure out if Mani likes Dinah too.” Camila says. “Got any ideas on how we can do that?”

“I can ask her,” Lauren offers, “that’s how I found out about Dinah’s feelings. I asked. So I’ll ask Mani too.”

“You need to be kind of subtle about it,” Camila warns her, “ask her when you two are alone again. I- um, Dinah actually didn’t text Mani to see if she was free. That would’ve been me texting from her phone, knowing that you’d be here with Normani.”

Lauren laughs. “You really put lots of thought into this, haven’t you? I think- I think we have a good chance of getting them together. I know that Mani is pansexual, so she could like Dinah. We just have to push her in the right direction.”

“Exactly,” Camila nods, “and leaving them alone together might be a good plan. I’ll pretend to feel sick and you can offer to take me home. I drove Dinah and I here – my mom let me borrow the car for a day – so we can get out of here and effectively trap them alone.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Okay. But- um, what will we do when we leave?”

“I don’t know, go and get ice cream or something?” Camila shrugs. “You can think about that. We’ll go anywhere you want. But Lo? Please leave the lying to me. You kind of suck at it.”

Lauren blushes. “I know. I’ll let you do the talking. I will go and get my overnight stuff from upstairs and you can tell them you feel sick?”

“Okay.” Camila nods. “Meet me by the front door.”

At Camila’s prompt, Lauren makes her way upstairs and throws all of her overnight things into her bag, making sure to pick up Nala from Normani’s bed, and heading out to meet her girlfriend by the door. She says a quick goodbye to Dinah and Normani, and then follows Camila out to the car, getting into the passenger seat.

“I would like you to drive,” Lauren says, “I don’t like driving much, it’s quite frustrating because lots of other people aren’t very good drivers, and they annoy me.”

Camila laughs and gets into the driver’s seat. “Okay. Any idea on where you want to go?”

“Yes,” Lauren smiles to herself, “ice cream, please. I would like a cookies and cream ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.”

“Alright then.” Camila smiles. “Ice cream it is.”


	37. Chapter 37

“Lauren.”

“No,” At the sound of her name, Lauren buries her face into her pillow and shakes her head. “Sleep.”

She hears a familiar laugh. “You’ve slept enough. Get up, birthday girl.”

“My present can be more sleep.” Lauren says, reaching up and blindly shoving Camila away. “Goodnight.”

“Damn, someone’s grumpy on a morning,” Camila laughs again and Lauren feels her girlfriend’s weight shift until a pair of arms wrap around her waist. “Get up, Lolo. You don’t want to sleep through your eighteenth birthday. You’re officially an adult! You can do all sorts of adult things now.”

“Yes, but I can do that later when I’m not still tired and warm and comfy,” Lauren replies, flipping over to curl up next to Camila. “It’s my birthday, I make the rules, so I’d like to sleep more.”

“Too bad,” Camila pulls her up and Lauren groans, finally opening her eyes to see her girlfriend smirking at her. “We have plans. I told you that last week that I was planning a nice day for us. Nothing too flashy since your main present is Disney, but still.”

Lauren hums. “But the day can start later, can’t it? It’s only- _oh_.”

“Yeah. It’s eleven thirty.” Camila points out, tapping the clock on Lauren’s nightstand to emphasise her point. “Get yourself up, lazy ass. I dragged myself out of bed for this, and you’re going to as well.”

“Fine,” Lauren sits up and taps on her leg. “I’m getting my dragonfly tattoo in three days. I am very excited for that. You are still coming with me, aren’t you?”

“Yep, wouldn’t miss it,” Camila assures her, leaning in and giving her a gentle kiss. “Happy birthday, baby.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “So- uh, what are your plans? Do I need to bring money?”

“Like I said, we’re just doing something small, because your actual present is Disney,” Camila replies, “we’re going to the art gallery, since I know you love it so much, and then we’re going to have a picnic on the beach. After that, it’s all open. Up to you. Since you’re the birthday girl and all.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Lauren points out. “Do I need money?”

“Nope,” Camila shakes her head, “birthday girls don’t pay. Leave all of that stuff to me.”

Lauren pouts. “But you’re paying for Disney, that wouldn’t be fair. I can’t let you pay for so much stuff for me. It makes me feel like I’m taking from you and not giving anything back.”

“You give me so much back,” Camila replies, running a hand through Lauren’s messy hair. “Just by being with me, you give me everything. You make me feel so loved, Lolo, and that’s worth more than anything.”

Lauren rests her head on Camila’s shoulder and squeezes her girlfriend’s hand. “I am excited for today. I wonder if Keana is working today, she works at the art gallery so we might run into her.”

“You’ll see her tonight though, won’t you? At your birthday meal.” Camila reminds her, and Lauren nods, because she hadn’t forgotten about that. Her parents had made a booking for a separate room in her favourite restaurant, and she gets to see all of her friends tonight. “Who’s coming tonight, anyway?”

“Well, my family, you, Mani, Dinah, Ally, Lucy, Alexa, Keana and Vero.” Lauren says, rubbing her hand along her leg. “Everyone I care about will be there.”

Camila smiles. “Sounds like fun. Anyway, you go and get dressed. It’s quite hot out, so you might not want to wear a sweater, but you’re probably going to ignore me and wear one anyway.”

Lauren laughs. “Well, I think I might wear one of my _The 1975_ t-shirts and my leather jacket. But if you think I should wear a sweater, I will.”

“I didn’t know you had a leather jacket.” Camila comments. “But then it’s not much of a shock. You _are_ a badass, after all.”

“Yes, I’m badass,” Lauren agrees, standing up and grabbing her clothes for the day. “Aren’t you going to leave and let me get dressed?”

Camila blinks in surprise and stands up. “Yeah, sure. See you in a few minutes, I guess.”

“Okay,” Lauren runs over to her girlfriend before she leaves the room and kisses her cheek with a smile. “I love you, Camz. Thank you for coming over and spending my birthday with me.”

“No worries, baby,” Camila pulls her back and kisses her properly. “I’ll wait downstairs for you, and then you can grab some breakfast and we’ll head out.”

“Can you make me a bowl of Cheerios?” Lauren asks before Camila can leave. “I would like Cheerios. Can you make me a bowl of that?”

“Of course, I’ll meet you in the kitchen,” Camila nods, “No milk?”

“No milk,” Lauren confirms and turns away, hearing her girlfriend’s footsteps fade behind her. She gets dressed, pulling on a t-shirt and her jeans and grabbing her leather jacket from the closet, before heading downstairs and meeting Camila in the kitchen.

Camila pushes a bowl of Cheerios towards her. “There you go, babe. Lovingly prepared by Chef Camila.”

“You can’t cook very well, it’s quite funny,” Lauren voices her train of thought as she shovels a large spoonful of Cheerios into her mouth. “I’m a very good chef. I can make a really good bistec empanizado. I’ll make it for you one day. My abeula taught me how to make that.”

“Damn. The best I can do is put frozen chicken nuggets in the oven,” Camila says, “at least I know I won’t starve because of my lack of cooking skills when I’m older. I’ll have you to do all of the cooking and be my cute little wife.”

Lauren blushes and fumbles with her spoon. “Yeah. I will look after you and make you lots of Cuban things.”

“Good.” Camila smiles. “I know I’ve said this like six times already, but happy birthday, Lo. I hope I can make all of your other birthdays as special as this one will be with the whole Disney trip thing.”

“It doesn’t have to be big to be special,” Lauren says through a mouthful of Cheerios. “Being with you is special enough. We could be spending the day on the couch watching movies and it’d be amazing. Disney is in a week though, and I am so excited. I have made a really good plan, I promise.”

“Are you still keeping the plans top secret, or are you actually letting me in on them?” Camila asks, waiting for Lauren to finish her Cheerios.

“I will- um, I’ll tell you when we get there,” Lauren says, “but not yet, because the plan is still being edited a little bit. But I’ll tell you when we’re there, promise.”

“Alright,” Camila accepts her answer and takes Lauren’s empty bowl, putting it in the sink. Then, she grabs Lauren’s hand and pulls her up. “Come on. Shoes on, it’s time to go.”

“I need to go upstairs and get my phone.” Lauren replies, looking past Camila at a patch of wall. “Can I bring Nala?”

“Sure,” Camila nods, “I’ll wait in the car for you. See you in a few minutes, babe.”

Lauren smiles and gives Camila a quick kiss, before darting upstairs and pulling her phone off charge, picking Nala up from her neatly made bed. Then, she heads downstairs and pulls on her scuffed Converse, before joining her girlfriend in the car.

Lauren taps on the car’s dashboard and points ahead of them. “Art gallery. Let’s go.”

-

They don’t see Keana at the gallery, to Lauren’s disappointment, but she says hello and goodbye to all of the other workers, since she goes there so often and she knows them all by name. By the time they’re at the beach for their picnic, Lauren is already tired out, but Camila is understanding about it and doesn’t make her talk much.

They’re sat in a comfortable silence watching the waves, Camila’s arm around Lauren’s shoulder and tracing patterns on her upper arm, when Lauren speaks up.

“Camz?” She looks up to meet her girlfriend’s gaze for a moment. “Can you tell me things? About you?”

“Sure, babe,” Camila nods, “what kind of things?”

“Oh, uh,” Lauren bites down on her lip and thinks about all of the things that Camila knows about her, and seeing what she doesn’t know about her girlfriend. “Can you tell me about your crushes from the past?”

“Oh,” Camila seems to quieten down, and Lauren frowns, because she hadn’t asked anything upsetting. “Sure. What do you want to know?”

“How many crushes have you had before?” Lauren asks. “You asked me this a little while ago. I remember. So I am asking you now.”

“I’ve had- um, three serious ones excluding you,” Camila says, “two boys and- uh, one girl.”

“What were they like?” Lauren asks. “Why did you like them?”

“I liked their looks more than anything, I think. The boys- they weren’t bad guys, I don’t think. Just a little influenced by their peers, you know?” Camila answers, picking at a loose thread on their beach towel. “The girl, though… she was my first real crush on a girl, I think. She- we were really close and when I was figuring things out, it was like… it was hard. She would flirt with me a lot, but in a joking way, because she was really obviously straight. She was one of the cheerleaders, a few grades ahead of me.”

“It sucks when straight girls flirt with you for a joke,” Lauren voices her train of thought and squeezes Camila’s hand. “How did you get over her?”

“I didn’t, not really. Not until I moved here and met you.” Camila meets Lauren’s gaze for a moment and shrugs. “Turns out she wasn’t a very good person.”

Lauren frowns. “What did she do?”

“She found out I liked her,” Camila replies. “Don’t know how. But she did. She held it over me – not only me liking her, but the fact that I was bi. She threatened to tell people, and I knew that if she did I’d lose all of my friends. She would make me do things for her, she- um, she would send me horrible texts and she’d- she made my life hell. I hated school because of her, but I couldn’t tell anyone because I couldn’t risk them finding out I was bi. Honestly, when my parents told me we were moving I couldn’t have been happier.”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip. “She bullied you for being different.”

“Yeah,” Camila murmurs, “yeah, she did.”

Lauren taps on her leg. “I know how that feels. Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Nobody knows about it. Aside from me and her.” Camila shrugs. “It’s in the past now. I don’t- I don’t care anymore.”

Lauren blinks. “Bullying has a lasting effect, so you probably do still care. You look quite sad right now, too. So I think you’re lying, you do care.”

“You know me too well, Lauren,” Camila sends her a weak smile and rests her head on her shoulder. “I don’t like thinking about it. I like pretending it never happened.”

“Repressing doesn’t work.” Lauren points out. “You just have to- um, realise that they’re wrong. That the bad people – or person in your life – is wrong. That you’re worth more than what they say and that it doesn’t matter that you’re different, because different isn’t a synonym for bad. And sometimes you need someone to show you that worth, because it’s not easy to find it on your own.”

“She did most of it to make me feel bad about being bi. Liking girls. But I’ve always known it wasn’t bad. It was just that being out and proud about it while everyone around me was so closed minded… I couldn’t be proud of it. Not then. But you- being with you, loving you… it showed me that it doesn’t matter. None of those bigots matter. Because this,” Camila pauses to gesture between herself and Lauren, “this is beautiful. And that’s what matters.”

“You’re- um, you’re that person for me,” Lauren says, “the one to show me my worth. I knew- I knew that people shouldn’t be ableist, and that it’s wrong for them to dislike me for being autistic. But I still tried to tone it down like- uh, like I did when I met you, I didn’t talk because I thought that maybe if you were my friend before you realised, then you wouldn’t leave after. But then I realised – what’s the point? I shouldn’t pretend that I’m allistic, because I’m not and I never will be, and the problem isn’t with me, it’s with the ableist people. I’m autistic and I’m proud of it and if people want to change me they can fuck off.”

Lauren feels Camila pull her in for a tight hug and smiles into her girlfriend’s shoulder. “I love you, Lo. So much.”

“I know,” Lauren nuzzles into her girlfriend’s neck. “I love you too.”

“Thank you,” Camila continues, “for treating me right. For being such a good girlfriend. You’re more than I could’ve ever asked for and I don’t want to spend another day without you, babe. And I’m so glad I could do for you what you’ve done for me.”

Lauren frowns in confusion. “What’s that?”

“Helped me believe in myself.” Camila answers. “Helped you realise just how perfect you are. How amazing your mind is.”

“Yes,” Lauren blushes and dots kisses around her girlfriend’s cheek. “We help each other. Because that’s what good girlfriends do.”

“Yeah,” Camila agrees, standing up and brushing the sand off herself. “Do you want to head off now? We have to make it to the restaurant by six and it’s half five now.”

“That’d be a good idea,” Lauren nods and picks up the significantly lighter picnic basket. “Do you think it’s a good idea for us to have eaten all of that chocolate you brought?”

“Probably not, but it’s your birthday,” Camila shrugs, “you make the rules, remember?”

“Yeah,” Lauren smiles to herself. “I make the rules.”

Camila takes Lauren’s hand and walks her towards the car with a small smile. “Thanks for letting me get that stuff out, Lo. I know that wasn’t really what you wanted to hear when you asked about my very limited love life, but still, it was nice to get all of that out. Especially after bottling it up for so long.”

“It’s okay,” Lauren rocks on her heels as she waits for Camila to put the picnic basket back in the car. “You can tell me anything. I’ll be here for you.”

“I know you will. You’re my rock, remember?” Camila says, smiling when Lauren bobs her head in agreement. “You’d tell me if anyone was upsetting you, right? I know that you haven’t exactly moved away from any of the ableist assholes you’ve known throughout your life.”

“Mhm.” Lauren hums, climbing into the passenger seat of the car. “I’d tell you and you’d beat them up for me. Maybe. Since you’re tiny, maybe I’d tell you but get Dinah to do the beating up.”

“ _Hey_ , I could beat someone up if I really wanted to,” Camila defends herself, knowing that Lauren is probably right and that she wouldn’t stand a chance in a fight. But she’s not going to admit that too easily. “If I was really committed to the cause, which I would be if it was someone who hurt you, I’d be pretty good in a fight.”

Lauren blinks at her. “Not really, because I probably wouldn’t win a fight, but I’d beat you really quickly. I know because I’ve pinned you lots of times when I wanted to tickle you for revenge.”

Camila scoffs. “I was going easy on you, babe. I could take you.”

Lauren narrows her eyes. “No, you couldn’t. You’re tiny and really light, I can pick you up really easily like this.”

Lauren moves forwards and picks Camila up, holding her in the bridal position. Camila lets out a loud squeak when she’s swept off her feet, and she glances up to meet her girlfriend’s bright green eyes. “I guess you would win. But you never know, I might surprise you.”

Lauren shakes her head as she puts Camila down. “You wouldn’t, because I know you too well. Like when you start to lose at board games you try kissing me to distract me, so I bet that you’d do that in a fight, and I’m good at ignoring people when I want.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “You could never ignore me.”

Lauren frowns, because she doesn’t like it when people tell her things she can and can’t do. So, she turns and looks out of the window and starts daydreaming about what she’s going to paint next and watching the shadows of the car against the road.

“Lauren,” Out of her peripheral vision, Lauren sees Camila smirking at her. “Alright, Lolo, you’ve made your point. Talk to me now.”

Lauren keeps her mouth shut and her gaze on the shadow patterns the car is making against the road, because they’re quite a nice visual stim, and she doesn’t feel like she’s proved her point just yet.

Camila laughs. “I get it, okay? You can ignore people really well. Now stop being a little bitch and talk to me.”

“I’m not a bitch,” Lauren turns around with wide eyes, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be bitchy.”

“I knew that’d make you talk,” Camila grins, “and I didn’t mean it like that. It was sarcasm.”

“Oh,” Lauren scowls at Camila. “I didn’t think I proved my point yet, though.”

“Trust me, you proved it. Two minutes without my Lolo lion talking my ears off about how much she loves art?” Camila shakes her head. “Talk about the worst two minutes of my life.”

“Talking your ears off?” Lauren frowns at Camila’s words and taps on her leg. “That’s a stupid saying. You can’t talk someone’s ears off, it’s impossible. I don’t like expressions like that because there’s no point to them. But I do love art, you’re right.”

Camila sends her a fond smile. “You’re such a dork.”

Lauren fiddles with Nala, who she’d left in the car for their picnic. “You are too. Anyway, are we near the restaurant? I am so excited for my birthday meal because all of my friends and family will be there. And you. It’s like all of the people that mean everything to me in the same room. And it’s my favourite restaurant, they make my pepperoni pizza just how I like it and it’s always quiet.”

“We’re about five minutes away, Lo,” Camila tells her. “So… I wasn’t planning on mentioning this, but you put makeup on this morning.”

Lauren taps on her leg. “Yes. I stole my mom’s eyeliner and mascara, because I wanted to look good for tonight, since the meal is a special occasion and I wear makeup for special occasions. Did I do it okay?”

“Yeah.” Camila glances over at Lauren and sends her a smile. “You look really beautiful, Lauren. But then again, you always look beautiful. I guess you’re just a beautiful girl.”

Lauren blushes. “Thank you. I wanted to look nice since it’s my eighteen birthday, and I thought I’d try to put makeup on.”

“You always look nice, Lo.” Camila assures her. “You’re like… really hot. Honestly. And I know that you don’t like wearing makeup and you’re always in a sweater and jeans, but you’re so pretty, baby. You could wear a literal trash bag and you’d look gorgeous.”

Lauren laughs. “Really? I doubt it. I don’t think anyone would suit a trash bag.”

“Nope,” Camila shakes her head, “you would. Anyway, we’re here. Do you want to get out?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “that’s my parents’ car. That means they’re here, so they’ll be at the table. So we can go straight through and see them. And- um, Vero’s car is here too, so she’ll be here with Lucy. I think they’re still in the car, I’m going to go and say hello.”

Lauren gets out of the car and walks over to the car she knows is Vero’s, knocking on the window when she recognises Lucy’s side profile. When Lucy gets out of the car, she gives her a fist bump, their usual greeting. “Hi, Luce.”

“Hey, Lo,” Lucy looks up at her for a moment and smiles, before she takes Vero’s hand. “Hi, Camila.”

Lauren turns around in surprise and sees her girlfriend and squeezes her hand. “Why did you wait in the car? My parents are here, you could’ve gone in.”

“That might’ve been kind of awkward, Lo,” Vero tells her, “just us, casually chilling with your parents and siblings until you showed up.”

“Oh,” Lauren nods and goes forward to give Vero a hug. “I haven’t seen you for a while. I’m glad you came.”

“Can’t miss your eighteenth.” Vero points out. “And Lucy wouldn’t shut up about it. She kept telling me that it was important we were both here.”

“Yes, because Lauren came to my eighteen birthday party.” Lucy interjects. “So we should go to hers. Anyway, Lauren’s my platonic soulmate, I need to be here, and I want my girlfriend here too.”

Camila traces patterns across Lauren’s knuckles. “We should go in. Can’t leave Mama and Papa J waiting. Right, Lolo?”

“Yes, right,” Lauren nods, “let’s go.”

Lucy grabs onto Lauren’s free hand, but Lauren recoils quickly, not wanting Camila to see. Lucy sends her an odd look that she doesn’t like. “You don’t want to hold hands?”

Lauren looks over to Vero, who is busy texting, and Camila, who’s holding onto her hand. “Um, I don’t think Camz wants us to. I’m sorry-”

“Lolo,” Camila interrupts, “it’s fine. Go for it. But it’s cute that you took my feelings into consideration first.”

Lauren blushes. “Well, I want to make sure you’re okay. It’s okay that I hold hands with Lucy?”

“It’s perfectly fine, babe.” Camila promises, letting go of her hand as they try to locate Lauren’s parents. “I’m the one you’re in love with and I know that.”

Lauren smiles. “Yes. You trust me lots.”

Camila kisses her cheek, and Lauren sees her parents, Chris and Taylor sat at a table with Ally, Normani and Dinah in a more secluded area of the restaurant. Naturally, she lets go of Lucy’s hand, grabs Camila’s, and pulls her girlfriend over.

“Hallo,” Lauren greets them, making sure Camila is on her left side. “Vero and Lucy are here too, so we’re just waiting for Lex and Keana. Then we can order our food.”

“Happy birthday, Lo,” Normani smiles, “Welcome to adulthood.”

“Yeah, sucks to be you, Lauser,” Dinah sends her a teasing grin. “You’re an adult now. Have fun doing all of that adult stuff like taxes and getting sued.”

Lauren blinks in surprise. “Who would sue me? I’m nice, nobody would sue me.”

Ally sends her a soft smile. “Don’t worry, Lo. She’s kidding. Eighteen is great.”

“Yes, I’m glad I’m eighteen, because I’m getting my dragonfly tattoo in three days.” Lauren says, rubbing her hand along her leg. She beams when she sees Alexa and Keana walk into view, and jumps up to hug them both. “Hello. I’m getting my dragonfly tattoo in three days.”

“We know, Lo,” Alexa laughs and sits down in the space that’s free on Lauren’s right. “Hey, Camila.”

“Hi,” Camila greets her with a small smile. “How’s art class? Hopefully this one has finally stopped painting just me.”

Alexa laughs as Camila squeezes Lauren’s waist. “I don’t think she’ll ever stop doing that. Honestly, I think she just sneaks loads of pictures of you purely to paint during art class.”

Lauren blushes. “Shut up, Lex. If you don’t shut up, you won’t be one of my best friends anymore.”

Alexa rolls her eyes. “You’re eighteen, not eight. Enough with the lame insults.”

“They’re not lame,” Lauren pouts, “but stop telling Camz embarrassing things. When you get a boyfriend I’ll do the same to you, I promise.”

Alexa snorts with laughter. “Sure you will, Lo.”

“Don’t take her threats lightly,” Camila warns, “Lauren’s a badass. Even though she’s the human embodiment of a puppy.”

Lauren smiles and rests her head on Camila’s shoulder. “I am badass. Yes. Thank you for spending today with me, Camz.”

“No worries, Lo.” Camila kisses her temple. “Happy birthday, babe.”

And as everyone orders their meals and has light conversation across the dinner table, Lauren smiles to herself, because all of her favourite people are with her and she has the best girlfriend in the world.

Eighteen is definitely her favourite birthday so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't proof read because i had a full bottle of wine but the chapter after next is the disney one so get excited hoes


	38. Chapter 38

“Did it hurt?”

“Yes.”

“No, but like,” Camila stops Lauren and turns her around, looking at her girlfriend’s new tattoo, “ _how_ much did it hurt? On a scale of one to ten.”

“It started at a five, and then… um, it was a six and a half when he was finishing it.” Lauren explains. “But- um, do you like it? I think it’s really pretty. I have wanted my dragonfly tattoo for so long.”

Camila looks at the intricate patterns on her girlfriend’s dragonfly tattoo. “I love it. It’s really beautiful and it’s making you really happy, so obviously I’m going to love it.”

“I think for my next tattoo I will get the number twenty seven in roman numerals.” Lauren says. “Maybe on my arm. I haven’t decided yet, so I will need to think about it. Thank you for coming with me today, anyway.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Camila smiles. “I told you I’d be here. Plus, Sofi basically pushed me out of the door when I mentioned that you were getting a tattoo. It took her a while, but she said that ‘Lamp’ would need me.”

Lauren smiles. “I would like to see her. Can we go back to your house at some point? I can show her my dragonfly tattoo. And- um, I can show your parents, too. I am excited for everyone to see it. Will you take a picture and send it to the group chat?”

“Of course,” Camila nods as they get in the car, and she quickly texts their friends a picture of Lauren’s tattoo before setting off. “Did it really hurt, though? Because that’s basically the only reason I’d never get a tattoo.”

“Well, um… I’m not sure if it hurt more for me, because of sensory differences and all that.” Lauren rubs on her leg. “But it wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be. Why? Do you want to get a tattoo one day?”

“Well, I was thinking about getting _love only_ tattooed somewhere. Definitely in the distant future, though.” Camila says. “Also maybe a bow on one of my toes. But like I said, possible pain puts me off.”

“You should- um, get a piercing. Like, a cartilage one.” Lauren says, and Camila frowns. “We should go now! You should get a piercing, because it’s not like it’s permanent or anything. I think, um- pull over for a second.”

Camila does as Lauren says, and frowns when her girlfriend pushes her hair behind her ear. “You should get a helix piercing. I think that’d suit you.”

Camila frowns. “I have no idea what that is, Lo.”

“Oh, I have a double helix piercing,” Lauren says, pointing to the two studs in the top of her left ear. “It’s that. But I think you should get just one helix piercing. And it’d be really pretty, and they don’t hurt much. Plus, the age limit for ear piercings is sixteen, I got my double helix piercing when I was sixteen. And my nose piercing when I was seventeen, but I don’t think you’d like that, because they hurt a lot. Also you need ID, and you don't really look like you're eighteen.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip, and eventually shrugs and thinks _fuck it_. “Yeah, alright. Let’s go to a piercing place. Right now.”

Lauren blinks in surprise. “I didn’t think you’d really listen to me. But I am glad you’re doing it, piercings are really great, I love them. I might get my second lobe piercing while we’re there, actually. That way I’ll have seven piercings. And you’ll have one. Mani has a double helix piercing like me, actually, but hers have rings in rather than studs. And Dinah has her second lobe done, that’s what they both got done when they convinced me to get my nose pierced.”

“How much does it hurt, though?” Camila asks. “Like, getting my earlobes pierced didn’t hurt at all, but then sometimes I think that’s just because I don’t remember doing it since I was like eight when my mom took me. But cartilage? That’s got to hurt more, right?”

“Yes, but it’s only a little sting and then it’s over.” Lauren promises. “My nose hurt more than my helix piercing. And- um, you’ll have me to hold your hand. Let’s go and get piercings together.”

“As long as you promise to hold my hand. Because trust me, I’m going to need it.” Camila laughs. “I kind of… have a low pain tolerance.”

“Helix piercings don’t hurt much.” Lauren assures her. “And- um, I have sensory processing differences, so… it might’ve hurt more for me. It’s just a little pinch. Promise.”

“I trust you’ll protect me, babe,” Camila laughs as Lauren directs her to the nearest piercing shop. “You’re getting your lobes done first though. Just so I can… observe.”

“Well, usually they use piercing guns for earlobes, not needles.” Lauren says. “But I can ask them to do it with a needle, so you can see how they’ll do it. But it’s not like you’re getting a double helix piercing, because that’s what I did, and the second piercing hurt ten times more than the first. So it’s not like it’ll hurt more.”

Camila nods. “Yeah, can we talk about something other than the needle that will probably be rammed through my ear soon? Maybe we should talk about… puppies or kittens or… or _Disney!”_

Lauren beams. “Yes, let’s talk about Disney. Have you packed yet? I have, aside from the things I’ll need for the days coming up to it, like my toothbrush and Nala.”

“I haven’t, but I’m not exactly the most organised human on the planet.” Camila points out. “You can help me pack tomorrow. You’re coming over, right?”

“I am?” Lauren frowns and bites down on her bottom lip. “I didn’t know I’d be coming to your house tomorrow. You never told me.”

“Yeah, I did,” Camila says, “I mentioned it while you were getting your tattoo.”

“Oh, I- um, I tuned out while that was happening, because I didn’t want to think about how it was hurting.” Lauren replies, tapping on her leg. “But I will come over, if you want me to. And help you pack. And I’ll get to see Sofi, how is she really? Because you never really tell me much about it when I ask.”

“She’s… a lot better than what she was.” Camila replies. “She’s off her crutches how, and- uh, I think her ribs are healing really well. Physically, she’s almost back to normal. But… uh, her speech is still…”

Camila trails off, and Lauren frowns and flaps her hands in front of her, because she doesn’t know what Camila is trying to imply. “Her speech is still what?”

“Not very good, honestly,” Camila admits with a small sigh. “She hates her speech therapist and she’s not being very cooperative with her. I can’t stand going to the appointments, because I know the therapist is trying to help but Lauren- she just won’t… she refuses to work with her and it hurts.”

Lauren shrugs. “I don’t blame her. Lots of the time, speech therapists are really patronising. Even though Sofi is still a kid, a lot of the time kids hate to be treated like kids. I hated going to speech therapy when I was younger, because the lady always spoke to me like I was a baby and I hated it.”

“Oh my god, Lo,” Camila’s eyes widen in realisation, “you could talk to her. You know how she feels. How did I not think of that sooner?”

“You want me to talk to her?” Lauren repeats in confusion. “But I’m not really that good at making people feel better. A lot of the time I- um, I say the wrong thing and make them feel worse.”

“You always make me feel better,” Camila points out, “and Sofi loves you. She’d love to have someone who she knows that’s been through kind of the same thing as her. You couldn’t talk when you were her age, and you could maybe… I don’t know, show her that it’s okay, and that she needs to give it time.”

“Well, alright then. I will speak to her when I drop you off at home.” Lauren nods, not sure about what she’s going to say. “Do you think your mom will be mad at you for getting a piercing? Will your parents think I’m a bad influence?”

Camila laughs as they park. “Lo, you couldn’t be a bad influence if you tried, and my parents would basically adopt you if they could. But you’re going to marry into the family anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Oh, okay then. Let’s go in and get piercings then.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip as Lauren tugs her into the piercing shop, kind of second guessing her decision to do this. But she’s always wanted to do something like this, so she’s going to go through with it.

“Hello,” Lauren greets the lady in the shop, “my girlfriend and I would like to get piercings. I just got a dragonfly tattoo on the back of my neck, look.”

Lauren turns around and shows her tattoo, and Camila pulls her back for a moment. “You’re definitely getting one too?”

“Yes,” Lauren says to her, before turning to the lady again. “I would like to get my second lobe piercing on both ears, but I would like it to be done with a needle rather than a gun.”

“That’s fine.” The lady says, and Lauren smiles and turns to Camila encouragingly. “And what would your girlfriend like?”

“Oh, she wants to get a helix piercing, but I don’t know which ear she’ll have it on.” Lauren turns to her with a frown. “Which ear do you want it on? Also, she would like me to go first.”

“I think I’ll have it on my left ear,” Camila says, kissing Lauren’s cheek, “like yours. But like I said in the car, you’re going first.”

The lady nods. “Alright, come through to the piercing studio. You’re both over sixteen, right?”

Lauren glances over to Camila for a moment. “Yes. I am eighteen, I have a tattoo and five piercings. Camz is seventeen though, she doesn’t have any tattoos but she has- um, she has both of her earlobes.”

Camila frowns as Lauren sits down on the piercing bed and taps on her leg. “I always thought you had to be eighteen for piercings.”

“That’s for facial piercings. Ear piercings are sixteen.” The lady explains, before turning to Lauren. “So, you’re going first?”

“Yes. Would you like me to lay down?” Lauren asks. “I laid down for my double helix, but I sat up for my earlobes.”

“You can sit up,” The lady smiles and starts numbing the area. Camila watches as she puts a little dot on the area Lauren wants pierced and double checks the position, and the younger Latina cringes at the sight of the needle.

Lauren doesn’t even cringe as the needle goes in, and Camila averts her eyes for the second one. Then, Lauren walks over to her and leads her towards the piercing bench. “See? Wasn’t so bad. You need to lie down for this one though.”

Camila stays quiet as Lauren sits her down, and she cringes when the lady marks the spot on her ear, letting out a little sigh of relief when it doesn’t turn out to be the actual piercing. Camila reaches out and grabs Lauren’s hand as the piercing lady tells her to lie down, and when she feels a sharp pain in her left ear, she knows that the needle has gone through.

She cringes even more when she feels the lady put the jewellery in, because Lauren hadn’t told her about that part and how it hurt more than the actual needle. When she ears ‘all done’, Camila sits up and lets go of Lauren’s hand, feeling a little bad when she sees her girlfriend rub on a red mark left on her hand.

“Sorry, Lo,” Camila apologises as she looks at the little stud in her ear in the mirror. “I feel like I just crushed your hand.”

Lauren hums. “You hurt it quite a bit, yes. But that’s okay, because you were scared.”

Camila feels a little guilty as she listens to the lady’s advice for aftercare, then she pays for both her and Lauren’s piercings. After Lauren says thank you about six times, the older Latina pulls her out to the car.

“You didn’t have to- um, pay for mine too.” Lauren tells her as she sits back down in the car. “It wasn’t that much for earlobes, it’s fine. I could’ve paid.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “I was compensating for whatever damage I caused to your hand. Because not going to lie, I kind of crushed it, and I feel bad.”

Lauren rubs on her hand again. “It’s okay though. It doesn’t hurt anymore, and you didn’t mean it.”

“Still, I felt bad and I wanted to pay for your piercings.” Camila says. “You love getting piercings, so… yeah. I’m just being chivalrous.”

“But- um, you always pay for things. I have money too and I’d like to pay for things for you.” Lauren rambles. “I will buy you an ice cream. Right now. Take us to the beach and we’ll get ice cream. And- um, I’ll pay for gas too.”

“Nope,” Camila shakes her head. “I will not take us to the beach. I’m taking you home like you planned to do. You need rest after getting ink permanently needled into your skin.”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head, “Ice cream.”

Camila scoffs. “Make me.”

Lauren leans over and kisses her roughly, shocking Camila completely. So much that the younger girl’s hands slip off the steering wheel and she rests her hands on Lauren’s waist, melting into the kiss.

When Lauren pulls away, she sends Camila an innocent smile. “So… the beach?”

Camila hums in thought. “I might need a little more convincing.”

Lauren giggles and leans in to kiss her, a lot softer this time, and the younger Latina lets out a little laugh when Lauren grabs her ass and squeezes it. She doesn’t find it as adorable when Lauren starts kissing down her neck, and one hand goes up her shirt to cup her breast under her bra.

“Whoa, hey, Lo,” Camila pulls away for a moment, “we’re in the car. Anyone could see us making out.”

Lauren pouts. “But I like making out. And you said you needed more convincing to go to the beach.”

Camila laughs. “Maybe that was just an excuse to make out with you. But we can’t do all of that… _groping_ in public. I’m not exactly big on PDA.”

“Party pooper,” Lauren sulks and turns to look out of the window. “I’d like to go home now. We can make out more there.”

“Alright then, babe,” Camila pulls out of the parking lot and smiles, “To your house it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a lil baby filler chapter inspired by me getting my nose repierced for the THIRD DAMN TIME to hold you all over before the literal 20K long Disney chapter comes. Because it's nearly here.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Disney chapter is finally upon you all. Enjoy.

Lauren is absolutely ecstatic as they pass a sign that reads ‘ _welcome to Orlando_ ’. So much that she even stops singing along to the Disney playlist that she’d made to stroke her fingers across Nala’s fur and get Camila’s attention. “Camz, we’re nearly there. We’re nearly at Disney.”

“I know, babe.” Camila smiles, desperate to glance in Laurens direction, because she knows the smile on her girlfriend’s face will be absolutely adorable. “Just another half hour and we’ll be there.”

“Can we go on Splash Mountain first? I want to go to the Magic Kingdom straight away.” Lauren rambles. “And- um, we can go on Space Mountain, and I’ll hold your hand, and it’ll be really fun. Then tomorrow we can go to the Animal Kingdom. Do you think I could take Nala with me?”

“Only if you’re sure you won’t lose her.” Camila replies. “It’s a big park and you could misplace her.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Yes. I will leave Nala in the hotel room.”

Camila smiles, because she knows for a fact that Lauren’s especially looking forward to tomorrow. Clara and Mike had told her that the Animal Kingdom is Lauren’s favourite park, and she knows her girlfriend is going to be in a ridiculously good mood all day.

“Are you looking forward to seeing the lions, Lo?” Camila asks, beaming when she hears her girlfriend mutter ‘ _duh_ ’ under her breath. “I heard that.”

Lauren laughs. “Well, it was a bit of a stupid question. Of course I’m looking forward to seeing the lions. And the _Lion King_ show. But I really want to go on Splash Mountain today, and we can go on all of the classic rides like the Peter Pan one. And Space Mountain and Big Thunder. And- um, when we go to the Animal Kingdom we can go on the Yeti ride, that’s one of my favourites. Can we go for a meal in one of the character cafes?”

It’s a lot of information for Camila to take in, but she gets there eventually. “We can go on any ride you want to go on, Lo. And sure, there’s a lot of different ones we can look in. Maybe we’ll save that for the last day, as a sort of _goodbye_ kind of thing.”

“Yes, it will be something to look forward to.” Lauren agrees. “We can go to the Donald Duck café in the Animal Kingdom.”

“You really love the Animal Kingdom, don’t you?” Camila laughs. “Good thing we booked our hotel in there.”

“Yes, I love it, it’s my favourite Disney park.” Lauren tells her. “I’m really excited to go there. Especially to see the _Lion King_ show. I’m really excited for that.”

“I’m excited for this whole trip. It’s going to be so fun.” Camila replies, glancing over at Lauren for a second. “Seven whole days in Disneyworld with my amazing girlfriend? Yes please.”

“I have been looking forward to this since you suggested it.” Lauren admits, fiddling with Nala’s tail. “I am sorry if I go into sensory overload while we’re in a park and I embarrass you, because my mom always said that it embarrasses her and-”

“Lo, you could never embarrass me. Unless you literally pulled my pants down in the middle of a park or something.” Camila laughs and squeezes Lauren’s hand. “It’s no big deal, babe. If it happens, it happens, and I’ll be there to help you through it.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Camila catches Lauren smiling to herself. “Yes. Okay. Good. Because I want you to have fun on this trip too.”

“And I will. Anywhere is fun with you, Lo,” Camila assures her, “even the most boring thing in the entire universe would be fun with you, because you know how to make me enjoy myself. You’re a big ball of fun.”

Lauren laughs. “Well, I guess I am quite fun. You’re fun too. You never used to be as fun as you are now, especially when you’d talk about Austin. That was really boring and I never really listened to you when you talked about him.”

Camila snorts. “I would’ve tuned me out, too. Sorry I put you through that mess, Lolo. You should’ve just interrupted him straight after he interrupted you.”

“He scared me.” Lauren nuzzles Nala into her neck. “He took Nala from me one day and called me- um, the ‘r’ word. And also, you looked happy to be asked by him, so I didn’t want to ruin that.”

“I was just happy at the _idea_ of being asked out on my first date.” Camila shrugs. “I would’ve been happy if it was a three legged troll who’d asked me.”

Lauren snorts. “A three legged troll _did_ ask you.”

“Damn. Savage as hell, Lo,” Camila laughs and catches Lauren’s smirk out of the corner of her eye. “But regardless, I would’ve been incredibly happy if we hadn’t been interrupted by said three legged troll. In fact, I probably would've been happier, since I already knew you were a total sweetheart. I didn’t know Austin at all, and that proved to be the main issue considering it was all just some bet.”

Lauren hums to herself. “Does that mean the date that I took you on was your first real date?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Camila nods to herself, and decides that having a first date with Lauren is something she’d much rather tell people. “You were my first date, my first kiss, and my first girlfriend.”

“Yes. And- um, like you said, I’m the best first.” Lauren taps on her leg and tucks Nala under her arm. “Thank you for saying yes to me.”

“Thank _you_ for asking me.” Camila smiles and turns off at the correct turning, trying to contain her smile when she sees _welcome to the Animal Kingdom_ on a sign and Lauren lets out a little squeal of excitement. “We’re nearly at the hotel, Lo. Our room should be ready, so we can go straight up. Hopefully we’ll have a view of the park so you can see all of the animals whenever you want.”

“Yes, that will be wonderful.” Lauren replies, a little too concerned with looking out the window – presumably for any wild lions – to pay much attention to Camila. “Do you think that we can come here again for our honeymoon?”

Camila nearly chokes on air. “Um- honeymoon? Since when were we married?”

“Well, we’re not, not yet anyway,” Lauren says, still gazing out of the window. “But when we’re older, I am going to propose to you, and I hope you’ll say yes. And then we’ll get married and we’ll have to go somewhere on our honeymoon, and I want to come here. Is that okay?”

“I- um, yeah,” Camila nods, still kind of in shock, but also thinking through Lauren’s words and smiling to herself. “Yeah. Okay. Disney honeymoon. Sounds good.”

Lauren hums to herself. “We can come to Disney lots, actually. I will paint the Disney castle. Can we take pictures in front of it? I want to get lots of pictures with you, and we can both post them on our Instagram accounts.”

“I brought my camera, so we’ll have plenty of Camren pictures to send to Dinah. I’m sure she’d love that.” Camila laughs at the thought of the inevitable spam coming her best friend’s way. “Don’t worry. We’ll have a bunch of cutesy couple photos.”

“Good,” Lauren smiles as Camila pulls into a parking space outside the _Animal Kingdom Lodge_. “We’ve never stayed in the Animal Kingdom before. My family and I, I mean. That’s why I’m extra excited for this, because I’ll be staying in my favourite park.”

Camila smiles to herself as she gets out of the car. “I’m glad that’s made the trip all the more perfect then.”

Lauren just hums in response and gets her bag out of the car, offering to carry Camila’s for her too, but the younger Latina doesn’t let her. Then, Camila locks the car, and they head towards the hotel reception. While Camila has never exactly checked into a hotel before, she figures it’d probably make more sense for her to do it, rather than let Lauren try. That’d most likely end in Lauren saying something that makes Camila burst out laughing, and then they’d both look incredibly odd.

When they finally get to a receptionist to check in, Camila reels off their details and hopes she’s doing it right. Lauren stands with one hand on her suitcase’s handle, and the other wrapped around Nala. Apparently, her girlfriend doesn’t exactly enjoy the silence, because she decides to talk to the receptionist.

“Is it true that there’s a moat around the lions so they can’t get to the people when we’re on a safari ride?” Lauren asks, startling both Camila and their receptionist. “I read that online and I wasn’t sure if it’s true or not.”

“Oh, yes,” the receptionist nods, “you can’t see it on the safari, though. We don’t want to ruin the magic for the little ones.”

“Oh, okay,” Lauren nods to herself, “I like lions. They’re my favourite animal. My favourite movie is _The Lion King_ , and that’s why Camila brought me here for my birthday, because I’m- um, she knows I love Disney and that I’ve never seen the show that’s here. She’s a really great girlfriend.”

Camila has to bite back her smile at the receptionist’s confused look. “That’s nice. How long have you two been together?”

“Eight months and twenty-three days.” Lauren answers. “I love her very much. Do you have any jaguars?”

The receptionist looks rather surprised at the sudden change of topic. “No. But we have tigers.”

“Oh, I like those too,” Lauren replies, tapping against the desk. “I love all animals, but I especially like big cats. Lions will always be my favourite, though. That’s why I have my Nala. My mom bought me her when I was three.”

“Hey, Lo?” Camila interrupts before the receptionist can speak. “Do you want to head straight to the Magic Kingdom once we’ve taken our things up to our room?”

“Yes, I would love to do that,” Lauren distractedly replies, “do you have leopards? What other big cats do you have? Do you have panthers? I quite like panthers, I saw one when my family went to Spain and we went to a zoo one day. That one had a big cat house, and there were all sorts of animals. They had lions and they were really close up, I got lots of good photos.”

“Um, yes, we have leopards on our safari, but no panthers.” The receptionist looks a little stunned at how talkative Lauren is, and Camila tries to bite back her smile at her girlfriend’s enthusiasm as the receptionist hands over two key cards for their room. “You’re in room 727. Take the elevator up to floor seven and follow the signs. Thank you.”

With that, Camila takes Lauren’s hand and pulls her towards the elevator, thankful that she didn’t screw up checking them in, considering she always tuned out whenever her parents were checking into a hotel.

They get into an elevator with their suitcases, and Lauren seems rather uncomfortable by the tight space, considering they’d jumped in with an elderly couple and their baggage. “Hey, Lo?”

Lauren hums in reply. “Yes?”

“Tell me more about the big cats you want to see.” Camila prompts, making sure to squeeze Lauren’s hand and kiss her cheek. “You seem really excited for that.”

“Yes, well, I have a page in my journal with all of the animals that are my priority. Lions are number one on the list, obviously, because they’re my favourite animal.” Lauren holds up Nala as if she’s proving her point. “I’m quite sad that they don’t have jaguars or panthers, but that’s okay, because they have tigers and leopards and I like those too. After lions, tigers are my favourite animal. I read about someone who had a pet lion, and it was fine because it imprinted on them as a cub, and I think that’d be really cool, but when it gets too big I’d have to give it away to a zoo, and that would be quite upsetting.”

“Let’s just stick with having kittens, yeah?” Camila asks, smiling when Lauren nods. “Good. Because I don’t want to come back from work one day to find out my pet lion mauled my girlfriend.”

Lauren snorts. “It wouldn’t maul me, because it would imprint on me as a cub and think I’m it’s mother. It’d be more likely to maul you.”

“Oh, great,” Camila sarcastically replies as the elevator stops on their floor and she leads Lauren into the hallway, “good to know. Like I said, I’d rather stick with the kittens and puppies. They’re way more my speed. You can pretend one of the cats is a mini lion, if you want.”

“Yes, because we will have two Bengal kittens called Simba and Nala,” Lauren tells her, rocking on her heels as they stop in front of their room, “and a dachshund puppy called Dash.”

“A dachshund called Dash?” Camila repeats as she holds their room door open for Lauren. “Real creative, babe.”

“It’s not creative, actually. I know that, you don’t have to tell me otherwise.” Lauren replies, not picking up on Camila’s sarcasm. “But I like the name Dash and I love dachshunds, because they’re so cute. So I would like a dachshund called Dash.”

“I love how you’ve thought all of this through,” Camila comments as she looks around the room, making sure the door is closed behind them. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve already planned our wedding.”

“I will if you want me to.” Lauren offers, gingerly sitting down on the bed and rubbing her hand along her leg. “I enjoy planning things, would you like me to do that?”

Camila laughs. “I was joking, but… sure. We can talk scenarios tonight before bed, if you’d like.”

“Yes please,” Lauren says, running her hand along the bedsheets. “This sheet is rather scratchy. I’m glad that I brought my special blue blanket with me, because that’s a lovely material.”

“Well, we don’t need to worry about that until bedtime, because now we’re going to the Magic Kingdom. I’ve got our tickets and everything, so we can head off.” Camila says, leaving her suitcase by Lauren’s at the foot of the bed. “I’d like you to change out of that sweater though, Lo. It’s like, nearly a hundred degrees out there. I let you wear it in the car because we had air con, but I don’t want you to make yourself sick.”

“But… I like sweaters,” Lauren says, tapping on her leg. “I want to wear this.”

“No, Lauren,” Camila shakes her head, “you’ll get sick. I don’t want you to get heatstroke and spend the rest of the trip feeling awful. You can wear your sweaters when you get in on an evening, because it’ll be cooling off and we’ll be in the room.”

Lauren shakes her head. “I will wear this. I like sweaters, they’re nice and cuddly.”

“They’re nice and cuddly when it’s not a hundred degrees out.” Camila corrects her. “Just take it off and put a t-shirt on. Please.”

Lauren taps on her leg. “No.”

“ _Lauren_ ,” Camila folds her arms across her chest. “We’re not going anywhere until you change. So we can waste a day, or you can change and we’ll go out and have fun. I’ll take your sweater in my bag and you can put it on if you’re really not too hot.”

Lauren sighs and pulls her sweater off, dropping it on the floor. Then, she walks over to her suitcase and digs through it, finding some clothes and stalking into the bathroom, making sure to slam the door behind her.

Camila picks up Lauren’s discarded sweater with an eye roll, and folds it up and stuffs it in the backpack she’d brought that’s mostly full of snacks. When she hears the bathroom door open again she turns around, and Lauren flops down on the bed again, now dressed still in her ripped jeans and a Pink Floyd t-shirt.

Camila makes eye contact with her girlfriend for a moment and sends her a warm smile. “Thank you, Lo. I like your shirt a lot.”

Lauren stares back at her for a moment before turning away and gazing towards the window, not saying a word in response. Camila figures out what’s going on quick enough.

“Not talking, huh?” She sends her girlfriend a teasing grin. “That’s fine. I can deal with the silent treatment. So long as my girlfriend isn’t going to die of heatstroke. Come on then, let’s head to the car. Hopefully we don’t get too lost finding our way to the Magic Kingdom.”

At her prompt, Lauren stands up and pulls on the scuffed black and white converse she always wears and heads towards the door, waiting for Camila to exit first. She stays silent all the way to the car, even with Camila pushing conversation – mostly just talking at her about how much fun they’re going to have – and doesn’t acknowledge her girlfriend’s presence at all until Camila gets out a bottle of sunscreen from her backpack.

“Okay,” Camila starts putting some on her arms and legs, before squeezing more out of the bottle and going to put it on Lauren. Naturally, her girlfriend shakes her head and darts around the other side of the car. “God, Lo. I don’t get why you’re so enthusiastic about getting all of these sun related illnesses, but you’re pale as hell and you’re going to burn if you don’t put this on.”

Lauren mutters something, and Camila is pretty sure she wasn’t supposed to hear it, but she does. “I wouldn’t have to have that if you’d let me wear my sweater.”

“Actually, you would’ve. At least on your face.” Camila stands Lauren in front of her and starts rubbing sunscreen into her reluctant girlfriend’s arms. “Come on, stop being so stubborn. I know you want to ramble about all of the plans you’ve made for today. If you’re not talking, I guess we’ll have to be on a different schedule. A _Karla Camila Cabello_ schedule. And the schedule is that it doesn’t exist.”

“No!” Lauren turns around to her and blinks in surprise, as if she hadn’t realised she’d been speaking. “I am not stubborn.”

“Yes you are,” Camila says, kissing Lauren’s temple. “If someone asks you to do something you don’t want to, you argue with them. When they get their way, you go mute. If that’s not stubborn, I don’t know what is.”

“You made me angry,” Lauren says as she gets into the car and buckles herself in. “I wanted to wear my _stay weird_ sweater, but you took it off me, and I’d already decided on that as my outfit today and now it’s ruined my routine because I don’t get changed in the middle of the day.”

“Lo, I have your sweater in my bag,” Camila squeezes her girlfriend’s hand in assurance. “If you’re _genuinely_ too cold, I’ll let you wear it.”

“Can I have it on my lap?” Lauren asks, holding out her hands as if she already has the answer. “I can tie it around my waist when we go around the park. That way I’ll be wearing it.”

“Okay,” Camila gives Lauren her sweater back, and the satisfied smile on her girlfriend’s face is enough to tell her that it’s a good idea. “Let’s go, then.”

“Yeah,” Lauren nods as Camila starts to drive. “Can we go on Splash Mountain first? It’s my favourite ride and I wrote in my journal that I’d like to go on it first, no matter how long the wait time is. I haven’t made a really intense schedule for the parks, just a general outline, because lots of things depend on how long wait times are and things like that.”

“We can do whatever you want, Lolo. You don’t have to ask.” Camila assures her. “This is your birthday trip. You’re in charge.”

“Yes, I’m in charge.” Lauren smiles to herself. “And- um, I’m the adult. So I’d be in charge anyway, because I’m eighteen and you’re only seventeen.”

“You were seventeen like, last week.” Camila rolls her eyes. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“I am going to tie my hair up,” Lauren says, pulling the black hair tie that’s always around her wrist off and putting her hair in a messy bun. “That way people can see my dragonfly tattoo, because it’s really pretty and I want everyone to see it.”

“Okay, Lo,” Camila smiles, “you do whatever you want. Like I said, you make the rules. It’s your birthday trip.”

“Well, if I make the rules, does that mean I can put my sweater back on?” Lauren asks, and Camila immediately rolls her eyes. “Because you told me to take it off, but I make the rules. And I want to wear it.”

“No, you can’t. Anything that gives you possible heatstroke is an exception to the ‘you make the rules’ rule.” Camila is quick to tell her. “I don’t want you to be sick and grumpy for the rest of the trip.”

“But if I make the rules, I can say that any rules you make are void and that way I can put my sweater back on.” Lauren says, mostly to herself. “So I’m going to wear my sweater.”

“You’re such a kid sometimes, Lo,” Camila laughs and grabs the sweater from Lauren’s lap. “No you’re not. I’m not dealing with a sick and grumpy Lolo.”

“Fine.” Lauren sighs and taps on her leg. “I wish I’d brought Nala in the car with me, but I left her on the bed. I want to stim with her.”

As soon as she can, Camila pulls over to the side of the road and digs into her bag, pulling out a spare pair of fluffy socks that Lauren had forgotten to put in her suitcase. “Here. Stim with those.”

Lauren positively beams and starts rubbing the material between her thumb and forefinger. “Oh, thank you. I brought one of my stim toys – one that I wouldn’t mind losing – but I left that in my suitcase because I was more focused on not talking to you.”

“Your stubbornness cost you, didn’t it?” Camila laughs as she starts driving again. “I didn’t know you’d brought another stuffed animal, though. I didn’t notice it when I sat on your suitcase to help you zip it up.”

“No, it’s not a stuffed animal, it’s a stim toy,” Lauren says. “It’s bendy, they come in packs of three so if I lose it I have two more at home. And- um, I have stim jewellery too. Like this ring-” Lauren points to the silver ring on her thumb that’s engraved with little squids, “it’s a spinner ring, so I can stim with it. And my cross necklace is a fidget necklace. I have a chewy necklace too, but I don’t use it that much, because I prefer fidget jewellery to chewy jewellery.”

“Huh. I didn’t know you could get that.” Camila comments, “Is all your jewellery a kind you can stim with?”

“No, this other ring,” Lauren shows her the gold ring on her right hand, “belonged to my abuela. But she gave it to me when she died. Other than that though, I only wear stimmy jewellery.”

“Oh, okay then,” Camila nods and tries to contain her excitement when she sees the sign for the Magic Kingdom, but naturally, she wants to get her girlfriend as hyped up as possible. “Lo. We’re nearly here. The car park is just up here. Oh my god.”

“Yes, I am so excited,” Lauren fiddles with the fluffy socks in her hand. “Have you ever been to Disney before?”

“When I was little, yeah.” Camila replies. “Not since then. It was actually just after my family immigrated here. And I’ve been to the Disneyland in California.”

“I’ve been there before too,” Lauren says, “what if we were there at the same time? Maybe we met before and we didn’t know it. Because that’d just be even more proof that you’re meant for me.”

“We don’t need proof to know that we’re meant for each other,” Camila rolls her eyes, “we just know. The way you make me feel is proof enough.”

Lauren beams. “Good. Anyway, can we go on Big Thunder Mountain too? I really like-”

“Rides that have the word ‘mountain’ in, so it seems,” Camila interrupts her, “like I said, Lo, you don’t have to ask to go on a ride. It’s your birthday trip, you decide what we do.”

“Yes, sorry, I keep forgetting, I’m never usually in charge of things.” Lauren is quick to reply, fiddling with the material of her fluffy socks. As Camila parks, Lauren seems to perk up even more, and she drops her socks on the floor in the car and stands up, grabbing Camila’s hand and pulling her out of the car and towards the park, because she wants to spend as much time as possible in the Magic Kingdom. “So, we are going on Splash Mountain first, and so long as I can go on Space Mountain and Big Thunder, I am happy. If there are any rides that you would like to go on then please let me know and I can work out the ride order based off location and we can follow a rough schedule.”

“I’m happy going on whatever you want to go on,” Camila says, “so long as you’ll hold my hand on the scary ones.”

“Yes, I promise,” Lauren nods, “but- um, we need to go on the classic rides, like the _Peter Pan_ ride and the _Snow White_ ride. They always have really long wait times, so we could maybe buy fast passes? I brought some money for fast passes because I’m not letting you pay for everything. And- um, dinner tomorrow night is on me too, I know we have those meal plan things but I’m going to give you the money for that restaurant, because we’re going to go to the restaurant in the hotel, and I’ve been there before so I know I like it. And you can’t argue, because I make the rules.”

Camila is a little nervous about dinner times, because their meal plans don’t work with room service and she knows that Lauren hates restaurants. “Are you sure you’re okay about going to the hotel restaurant? With the ones in Downtown Disney, we can eat outside a lot of the time, and that’ll be quieter for you-”

“Yes, but I like the restaurant in our hotel, because it’s like a buffet so I can make sure my food doesn’t touch on my plate and we can always ask to sit somewhere quieter.” Lauren reasons with her, but Camila still isn’t sure. “I would like to go there tomorrow night, I have already planned it, it’s in my journal and that means it can’t be negotiated. I mean, there’s some flexibility, but I’d really like to go there tomorrow. It’s part of my plan.”

Camila squeezes her girlfriend’s hand as the bag check and ticket booths come into sight. “Okay. So long as you’re sure.”

“Do you have our tickets already?” Lauren asks, noticing the ticket booths and practically bouncing, because it means they’re so close to getting into the Magic Kingdom. “I remember last time we came because my mom booked online, she had to pick them up at the first park we went to, which was the Animal Kingdom because I really wanted to go there on the first day.”

Camila opens up her backpack and pulls their tickets out of the front pocket, checking the front of them for the correct name and handing Lauren’s over to her. “Here, baby. Look after it.”

Lauren rubs her ticket between her thumb and forefinger, feeling the key-card like surface. She points to the bar code on it with a frown. “Do I scan this? I will give it back to you after we go in, because I don’t have a bag with me and it could come out of my pocket during a ride.”

“You do scan it, yeah,” Camila nods, “and I’ll look after the tickets and stuff. Just remind me where I put them in case I forget and we have a little freak out. Usually it’s my parents dealing with all of this.”

“Okay.” Lauren smiles as she scans her ticket and makes her way into the park, waiting a few feet ahead for Camila. Then, she hands her girlfriend her ticket and takes hold of Camila’s hand as the younger Latina gets her bag checked. “Can we go straight to Splash Mountain please? Oh, Camz, look straight down there, it’s the castle! I can’t believe we’re really here, thank you for bringing me.”

“You’re welcome, Lolo,” Camila boosts herself up on her tiptoes to kiss Lauren’s temple as she gets her bag back. “Happy eighteenth, babe. Let’s go to Splash Mountain.”

Lauren practically sprints into the park, her hand locked with Camila’s, and while it’s quite busy, she doesn’t seem to notice. Lauren seems far more concerned about taking in all the sights, how there’s cheerful music playing through hidden speakers, how the iconic Disney castle is right in front of them, and how everything seems so perfect right now.

Lauren pulls her towards a noticeboard, and Camila notes that it has ride times on it. “Okay, um- Splash Mountain has a half hour wait time, so we can go straight there. I know roughly where it is, but do you have a map?”

Camila pulls the map she’d grabbed on the way in from her back pocket. “Here. Do you want to be the navigator?”

“Uh, okay,” Lauren nods and opens up the map, rocking on her heels as she looks it over. “We have to go towards the Disney castle and then take a left. We need to go to Frontier Land, that’s where it is. That’s where Big Thunder is too, so we can go on them both. Splash Mountain first though because then we have more time to get dry again.”

Camila nods and unties Lauren’s sweater from around her waist. “I’ll put this in my bag so it won’t get wet.”

“Okay.” Lauren hums as she leads her towards the castle. Camila notices her girlfriend’s hesitance to go forwards and she realises it’s probably the amount of people. Since it’s really hot out, apparently the USA’s entire population decided to go on a day out to the Magic Kingdom. “I didn’t- um, realise how busy it was.”

Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “Just keep hold of my hand and keep your eyes closed, Lo. We’ll get through. I’ll let you know when it’s not busy.”

“I’m sorry- um, if I go into sensory overload,” Lauren says, stopping her before she can move them forwards. “I know it can be kind of embarrassing for people and-”

“Lauren, no,” Camila shakes her head and takes her girlfriend to one side, giving her a gentle kiss. “I told you in the car that if it happens, it happens, and I’ll be there to help you through it. It’s not embarrassing in any way, baby. You can’t help it and I know that.”

Lauren blinks at her for a moment, before she beams and kisses Camila happily. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Camila says, digging through her bag and passing Lauren her iPod. “Put your earbuds in, close your eyes and listen to some Lana. I’ll squeeze your hand three times when we’re somewhere quieter.”

Hesitantly, Lauren puts her earphones in and stuffs her iPod into her pocket. Then, she closes her eyes and grabs hold of Camila’s hand. “Okay. I am ready.”

At Lauren’s word, Camila leads her through the crowds and follows the signs to Frontier Land, where Lauren said they were going. She leads Lauren all the way through and into the line for Splash Mountain, finally squeezing her girlfriend’s hand to signal that they’re there.

“Hi,” Camila greets her with a smile when Lauren opens her eyes and pulls her earbuds out. “We’re in the line for Splash Mountain. Are you excited?”

Lauren hands her iPod back to Camila with a grin. “Yes, I am very excited, it’s my favourite ride and I love it. Are you? I know you don’t like rides with big drops, but just- um, look over there. There’s a little girl in the line, she looks like she’s around Sofi’s age and she isn’t scared. And I wasn’t scared the first time I went on this, and I was ten. So if they’re not scared, you shouldn’t be either.”

Camila laughs. “Maybe. I’m just reassured because I’ve got you to hold my hand.”

“Yes, I will protect you,” Lauren rocks herself on her heels and smiles. “It will be lots of fun, Camzi. I promise. We can go on Big Thunder after this and then- um, maybe go and get a snack? There’s a pizza parlour near the castle, we could go to that.”

“Sure, baby,” Camila nods as Lauren fiddles with her fingers. “I’m always ready for pizza, you know that.”

Lauren smiles. “Yes, I know lots of things about you. I know that you eat too many bananas but it’s okay because they’re part of your five a day. I don’t think I’ve ever had my five a day. Aside from five grapes maybe, but I don’t think that counts.”

Camila laughs. “Honestly, trust me, I don’t think anyone has their five a day. Like, ever. Aside from health freaks, maybe.”

“Like Manibear,” Lauren laughs to herself, “Manibear is obsessed with being fit. But she kind of has to, because she does her dancing and you have to be really fit for that. I used to do softball, did I tell you that?”

“I think you’ve mentioned it,” Camila says, not liking how the couple in the line behind them are getting too close. “Why did you quit?”

“Because people were too loud. Like, the audience, I mean,” Lauren says, brushing Camila’s hair out of her face. “I won a trophy for it though, it’s downstairs in my lounge next to Chris’ basketball ones. If the crowd were quieter, maybe I would go back, because I quite liked it.”

“Well, if it’ll make your abs even more perfect, I’ll sign you up myself,” Camila says, wrapping her arms around Lauren’s waist and kissing her cheek. “Do you work out?”

“I run sometimes.” Lauren sends Camila a shy smile and kisses her. “Mostly as a stress reliever. I used to- um, have puppy fat. That’s what my mom said. But I don’t anymore, apparently. I wouldn’t want to be really bony though, because- um, when I lean forwards I can use my tummy fat to stim with, and I’m like my own stim toy. I’m squishy and it’s nice.”

“I love your body, baby,” Camila agrees with her and gives her waist a small squeeze in emphasis. “You’re toned but squishy. And I love that.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods in agreement, “anyway, after we get pizza I will let you pick a ride and we will work our way around from there to Space Mountain. What time does the park close?”

“Seven, I think,” Camila replies, “but we need to get ready for dinner, and we’ll have a whole other day here, so I say we leave around six. Tomorrow we’re going to the Animal Kingdom at eight though. And we won’t leave until closing time. I promise.”

Lauren beams. “Good, because I want to get everything done and I need to go to the _Lion King_ show Even if we don’t, we can go back on the last day, because we’ll be having breakfast in the Donald Duck café there.”

Camila smiles at her girlfriend’s enthusiasm, thankful that it’s distracting her from the inevitable, aka the ride they’re about to go on, because they’re getting a little too close to the front of the line for Camila’s liking. “When are we going to the waterparks, Lolo?”

“Oh, we will go to Typhoon Lagoon on day three, and then Blizzard Beach on day five.” Lauren replies. “I will show you the pages for those in my journal, if you’d like? You can’t look through the whole plan though, because lots of it is surprises, like my restaurant surprise for tomorrow. Can we book a table when we get back to the hotel? For- um, for after the Animal Kingdom closes?”

“It closes at eight.” Camila distractedly responds, breathing a small, inaudible sigh of relief when she realises that they’re not next like she’d thought. “We can book a table for nine, if you want? It’s a little late to eat, but… whatever.”

“It’s a buffet though, so we don’t have to wait for someone to bring us food and cook it. It shouldn’t take us that long.” Lauren says, tapping Camila on the shoulder to get her attention. “Camz, look, we’re at the front. That means we’ll be in the front of the raft! That’s the best place to sit.”

“Uh, yeah,” Camila sends a forced smile her girlfriend’s way and tries to swallow her nerves, because she really hates rides. Most of the time she can use Sofi as an excuse to go on the kids’ rides at theme parks, and she’s not about to disappoint Lauren and back out. “Cool.”

Lauren laughs softly and grabs her hand. “You’re nervous, aren’t you?”

“A little,” Camila admits, her voice a lot shakier as the next raft comes in and they’re seated right at the front. “I’m just not a fan of rides with drops. I always feel like I’m going to fall out or something.”

“You won’t, though,” Lauren says, shaking the safety bar across their lap and really not making Camila feel any better. “See? It’s really tight, we can’t fall out.”

As the ride lurches to a start, Camila grabs Lauren’s hand and squeezes it as tightly as she can. “I don’t like this, Lo. I don’t want to go anymore.”

Lauren reaches her arm over and wraps it around Camila’s shoulder. “I’ll protect you. I promised, remember? I’m here and I’ll protect you.”

As the raft goes down a tiny little slope and starts turning a corner, Camila breathes out, because it’s definitely not as bad as she thought it’d be. But then they start going up a little hill, and even though it’s only small, Camila knows that what goes up has to come down again. Her grip on Lauren’s hand tightens as they reach the top and she closes her eyes, bracing herself for a drop, but nothing comes. When she opens her eyes again, they’re just rounding a corner, and Lauren is sending her a teasing smirk.

“It’s not that bad, Camz,” Lauren laughs. “Kids go on this all the time. I went on this when I was ten, and I was scared of everything when I was a kid. It’s okay, see?”

“Yeah,” Camila nods to reassure herself and loosens her grip on Lauren’s hand, because the last thing she wants is to crush her girlfriend’s hand because she got a little tense on a ride that eight year olds aren’t even scared of. “Yeah, it’s okay.”

But then they turn the corner and she sees the huge drop which she figures comes at the end, and revokes that statement completely. “No, never mind, it’s not okay, because we’re going to have to go down that, aren’t we?”

“Yes, but it’s _fun_ ,” Lauren replies, “and I’ll protect you, remember?”

Camila tenses in Lauren’s hold as they go up and down another small hill and shakes her head. “Nope, I don’t want to do it. How do I jump ship?”

“You can’t, Camz,” Lauren tells her, and that’s really not the answer Camila wants to hear. “But it’s okay. See, look at all of the signs, you have to keep inside the vehicle at all times.”

“Maybe I don’t want to stay inside the vehicle of _death_ ,” Camila emphasises, feeling a little calmer when Lauren traces circles on her palm. “I hate this. Anything that a little kid would be too scared to go on, that’s me out. I think I’ve watched too many YouTube videos about theme park deaths.”

Lauren laughs. “Babe, I told you I’d protect you, and I will. Trust me.”

“I do trust you, I just don’t trust this- _oh no_ , why does it look like the track is about to end?” Camila’s eyes widen as she spots the impending drop. “Oh _god_ , this is the big one, isn’t it? I’m going to-”

Camila cuts herself off with a scream as they go down, and she buries her face in Lauren’s shoulder and lets out a sigh of relief when she realises that the boat hadn’t crashed and they’re not both dead.

Lauren laughs at her again, but it’s more of a fond one than a _wow, you’re a fucking wimp_ one. “See? It wasn’t that bad.”

“I guess not,” Camila admits, opening her eyes and exchanging a small smile with her girlfriend. “But- wait, why are we still going? Isn’t it over now? Back to the station, pick up my bag and leave?”

“No, that wasn’t the main drop.” Lauren tells her, and all of Camila’s nerves come flooding back. “That was one of the little ones. But it’s fun. Look at all of these decorations. This indoor bit is my favourite bit, aside from the big drop at the end.”

“But I don’t _want_ to go down the big drop at the end.” Camila pouts. “I don’t like big drops. Look-”

Lauren frowns as Camila taps her a few times. “What?”

“An exit sign,” Camila smiles, “see you later, Lo. Man overboard. Bye.”

Not getting that Camila’s only half serious, the older Latina grabs onto her arm. “No, you can’t get out. It’s against safety rules.”

“I know that, Lo. I was only-” She cuts herself off with another scream, because naturally, another drop had come out of nowhere, and she grabs onto Lauren’s arm and shakes her head. “Nope. I hate it. When is the stupid big drop coming, I want to get it over and done with.”

“It comes at the end,” Lauren laughs. “ _Duh_. We’re not at the end yet. You’ll know when we are, because we’ll go up another hill.”

“Stupid hills,” Camila sighs and feels Lauren squeeze her hand. “Why can’t we just go on a little mellow boat ride?”

“Well, we can,” Lauren says. “It’s a small world is a mellow boat ride, but they have lots of annoying music in it, so whenever I go on that, I put my iPod on, because it won’t get wet since there’s no drops.”

“I think that’s more my speed.” Camila comments, pouting when she sees probably the biggest incline yet. “We’re near the big drop, aren’t we?”

“Yep,” Lauren nods and makes sure she has a tight hold on Camila’s hand. “But it’s okay, because I’m here to look after you. The drop isn’t even that big anyway, but you do get really wet.”

“Great,” Camila lets out a sarcastic laugh, bracing herself for the inevitable. “Lo, if we crash and die, I want you to know that I love you.”

Lauren laughs. “I already know that, Camz. I love you too. But we’ll be fine, the ride wouldn’t even be running if it wasn’t safe.”

“Tell me about your plans, Lo,” Camila says as they get close to the top of the hill. “Like, where we’re going each day. Tell me about that.”

“Oh, okay, well, we’re here today,” Lauren states the obvious, “and Animal Kingdom tomorrow. Then Typhoon Lagoon, then Epcot for half a day and here for the other half, then Blizzard Beach, then Hollywood Studios, and then on the last day we’ll go to the Animal Kingdom again.”

Camila would’ve replied to keep her mind off the drop, but before she knows it, they’re down at the bottom and both absolutely soaked. Lauren laughs at her, and Camila is sure she probably looks like a drowned rat right now, but whatever. Her girlfriend’s laugh is worth it.

“See?” Lauren says once they’re off the ride and headed towards Big Thunder Mountain. “Wasn’t so bad.”

“Yeah,” Camila agrees as Lauren grabs her hand and starts skipping towards the next ride. “Not so bad.”

-

“Camz. Camz, wake up.”

Camila groans and swats away Lauren’s hand. “It’s sleep time.”

“It’s Animal Kingdom day today, and you said- um, you said that we’d go when the park opens for Magic Hours, which is at eight. It’s half six now, I didn’t know how much time you’d need to get ready, because it doesn’t take me very long, but- um, you wear makeup and I don’t, and that takes a while, right?”

Camila turns over and buries her face into her pillow. “I don’t need to wear makeup today. Wake me up in half an hour.”

“Oh, okay,” Lauren nods and Camila feels her girlfriend’s weight leave the bed. “I am going to get dressed. I will wake you up at seven.”

It feels like hardly any time has passed when Lauren is shaking her again, and Camila sits up feeling a little dazed, brushing her messy hair out of her face. When she sees Lauren, however, she nearly passes out again.

Lauren is dressed in a red cropped t-shirt that shows off her nicely toned abs, and a long black skirt that hugs her curves perfectly. Obviously, she’s wearing the scuffed black and white converse she usually wears, but Camila is still in a state of shock.

“Lauren?” Camila blinks in surprise. “Since when do you own clothes like that?”

“Um,” Lauren taps her fingers against her skirt and looks down at the floor. “Is it bad? Do you not like it?”

“I love it,” Camila confirms, “I’m just surprised by it.”

“Oh, well, uh,” Lauren shrugs and fiddles with the hem of her crop top. “I have all sorts of clothes. But I thought you might be a little upset if I wore a sweater today, because you got mad at me yesterday for it-”

“I wasn’t mad at you for it, babe,” Camila stands up and kisses her girlfriend’s cheek, “I just didn’t want you to get overheated and end up sick.”

“Well, yes, you didn’t want me to wear a sweater, so,” Lauren gestures over herself, “I wore this today, because I wanted to. So you won’t worry about me getting overheated. And I planned on wearing this, so I won’t get angry about you making me change.”

“Good,” Camila smiles and kisses Lauren good morning properly, “I’m just going to get dressed and brush my teeth, and then we’ll head off. We can get breakfast in the park or something.”

“Okay,” Lauren murmurs, sitting down on the bed and cuddling Nala, “I will wait here for you.”

Camila gets dressed in a flannel shirt and shorts, and after brushing her teeth and brushing through her hair quickly to get rid of any tangles, comes out of the bathroom and attacks Lauren in a hug. “Hey, babe. Are you excited for the Animal Kingdom?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods and kisses Camila’s cheek. “Today in general is very exciting. I get to see my _Lion King_ show today.”

“Yeah, at one,” Camila nods. “So you’ve still got a little while to wait. But we can always pass the time by going on some rides.”

“Like the Yeti ride!” Lauren jumps up in excitement and walks over to Camila’s backpack, holding it out to her. “I packed your bag for you, let’s go.”

Camila gets up and slips on her shoes, pulling her backpack onto her shoulder. “Someone’s enthusiastic.”

“Of course I am, it’s the Animal Kingdom, it’s my favourite park,” Lauren says, “and I get to see my _Lion King_ show, and- today is just going to be great, and I know it because I’ve planned it. My journal is in your backpack because we probably won’t be coming back to the room until after dinner, and there are things in there that I might forget if I don’t bring it. And- um, Nala is coming with us, I decided. I have a stim toy in your backpack too, but I probably won’t use it, because Nala is coming, because I want to bring her to the _Lion King_ show.”

“Okay, just make sure you don’t leave her anywhere.” Camila assures her as she leads Lauren out of the room and towards the elevators. “Look after her today.”

“I always look after Nala,” Lauren tells her, cuddling her stuffed animal to her chest. “I love Nala, she’s my best friend. I’d never leave her anywhere because I wouldn’t forget her.”

“We’ll find a store and I’ll buy you another _Lion King_ plushie, if you want.” Camila offers, smiling when Lauren beams and nods quickly. “I’ll get you a Scar or a Mufasa. You pick.”

“Oh, I’d like a Scar, please,” Lauren says, rocking herself on her heels, “I would’ve chosen Mufasa, but Dinah gave me a Mufasa for my birthday, so I’d like a Scar for my collection. Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure, Lo,” Camila squeezes her hand. “I love making you happy. Even if it means going on big ass rides.”

Lauren laughs. “The Yeti ride isn’t that bad, it’s kind of like Big Thunder Mountain but Yeti themed. And the queue is really cool, they have all of these really interesting articles about Yeti sightings and Everest expeditions. I love that ride, but I have to close my eyes on the second half of it after the main drop, because there’s lots of strobe lighting and the first time I ever went on it, I went into sensory overload on the ride, and it was horrible.”

“Lo?” Camila asks as she leads her girlfriend to the car. “What does sensory overload feel like? I don’t think you’ve ever told me.”

“Oh, well, it’s horrible,” Lauren replies, fiddling with Nala as she sits down in the passenger seat. “I hate it. It’s- um, everything kind of blurs together into one big mess. Like when we went into the food court that time we went to the mall, it was like all of the different smells mixed together and made me feel sick and everything turns orange and it’s _horrible_ and I don’t want it to ever happen again but I know it will.”

“I’m going to promise you right now,” Camila says, “that if I ever win the lottery, I’m going to close the Animal Kingdom down for a day, so it’s just you and me and we’ll have the whole park to ourselves. No big crowds to upset you.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “That sounds wonderful. You always- um, you’re really considerate about my- what I need. And I appreciate that a lot, because I know it’s hard being with me sometimes and I don’t-”

“Lauren Michelle, don’t you dare be self-deprecating.” Camila interrupts her. “It’s never hard, baby. You’re the easiest person to be around and I’m hopelessly in love with you. I wouldn’t trade you for the world.”

Lauren cuddles Nala to her chest. “I’m- um, I don’t think just saying that I love you too really proves to you how much I actually feel about you. Because sometimes- I feel things about you that I’ve never felt for anyone, and sometimes it scares me but then I realise that it’s okay, because nothing about you is scary. I feel things there isn’t a word for yet.”

“I know.” Camila nods. “I know what you mean. I get that too. You’re my world, Lauren.”

“I want to spend forever with you.” Camila can feel Lauren’s bright green eyes burning holes in the side of her head. “I never want to lose you, Camz. And- um, if we ever do break up, will you still be my friend?”

“Of course I will,” Camila promises, “but we’ll never break up. I wouldn’t be able to _just_ be your friend, Lo. That’d drive me crazy. I’d need your kisses.”

Lauren giggles. “Yes. I’m good at kissing. So are you. Anyway, are we near the park now? I want to get in as quickly as possible.”

“Parking is just down here,” Camila says, turning into the parking lot, “but it’s like ten minutes to eight, so we’ll have to sit in the car for a while.”

“That’s okay.” Lauren smiles. “We can make out.”

“Lauren Michelle,” Camila teases her, “such a raunchy suggestion. Didn’t know you had that in you, babe.”

Lauren pouts. “Don’t make fun of me. I always ask you to make out with me, I like kissing you, it’s nice.”

“Good to know you enjoy it.” Camila parks the car and reaches over to squeeze Lauren’s hand. “I’m not making fun of you when I say that stuff, Lo. I think it’s cute the way you’re so blunt about it. Most people just go for it and kiss people.”

“Well, I don’t know if you want me to kiss you.” Lauren shrugs. “So I ask. Or I tell you what I want to do. I can’t tell through your body language, I have to ask. You know that.”

“I know, baby, I’m teasing you,” Camila leans over and kisses her. “Have you ever tried reading body language?”

“Yes, I used to go to a lady to help with social skills and she tried to teach me, but it didn’t work.” Lauren says. “She would show me pictures and tell me what they meant, but I didn’t like a lot of them, like- um, some of them like the facial expressions ones have more than one meaning and that’s where it’s confusing. Like, people can have different types of smiles, they can have a happy smile or a sad smile or a sarcastic smile or a mean smile and I can’t tell the difference between these, because to me it’s just a smile. Sad faces are the easiest I think, because you can’t be happy sad, but you can be sad happy.”

Camila smiles. “Why’d you stop going to the social skills lady?”

“I didn’t like her. She talked to me like I’m a child and I’m not.” Lauren scowls at the memory. “I hate it when people treat me like I’m a toddler, because I’m not, I’m probably smarter than them so they can shut up. It’s so annoying when they talk really slowly, it’s really degrading and I hate it.”

“Was it your mom who made you go to her?” Camila asks, not at all surprised when Lauren nods. “Yeah. Thought so. Is she more understanding now after you ran away?”

Lauren nods. “Yes. I- um, I was upset the other day and she gave me something to stim with. And- um, she doesn’t tell me to look at her anymore when we’re talking. I think- um, I think she knows that I don’t need to change to please her. And the other day I let her cuddle me because she’d been so understanding lately, we watched _The Lion King_ like we used to every Saturday when I was little.”

“Good.” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “I’m glad. You know when you two made up and she talked to me? She was telling me that she’s happy you have me. She also told me about the time she bought you Nala.”

“Oh, yes, I was three,” Lauren tells her, even though Camila already knows. “It was the day I spoke for the first time I think, because my mom was ignoring me for the phone and I’d chosen Nala, because she told me that I could pick one toy since we were at Toys R Us. And then she was ignoring me for the phone and I needed her attention so I spoke. I remember that she was really proud, it made me happy, so I spoke more often.”

“That makes me really happy, Lo,” Camila smiles, “I love hearing happy stories from your childhood.”

“Yes, I will tell you more if you’d like?” Lauren asks, waiting for Camila to nod. “Okay, well, um, my second word was mama, I think my mom was happier with that one rather than hakuna matata, because I only really spoke whenever I wanted to watch _The Lion King_ and she wasn’t paying attention to me. I said that about a month after my first word. Then papa was my next word. I started speaking both Spanish and English and I don’t think I knew that they were different languages at the time, because my family would tell me things in both and I would repeat it, because I knew that every time I said a new word it’d make them really happy. I was better at Spanish at first, I think.”

“It’s really cute that you wanted to speak more to make your family happy.” Camila fiddles with Lauren’s fingers and kisses her. “How old were you when you got to the point you’re at now? With speech, I mean.”

“Um… twelve, I think.” Lauren shrugs and taps on her leg. “I don’t know. I think- um, that’s when I stopped stuttering. But I still stutter when I’m frustrated because I start going nonverbal. It’s like someone unplugs something in my head and it’s upsetting because I need to speak the most when I’m stressed, especially when I’m around people who don’t know me well. Like with you at first, when you called me the ‘f’ word that time.”

Hating how casually Lauren had mentioned it, Camila leans over and kisses her. “Lo, babe, I thought you’d decided to forget that. You know I’d never-”

“Call me it again? I know.” Lauren nods. “I don’t- um, it doesn’t really upset me anymore. Because it was a long time ago and I know that I changed your opinion and made you know that I’m not that. Because you did think it, I know you did, you didn’t understand me at first and you didn’t like me at all when you first met me for acting how I usually act. So… that means you thought it. But you don’t anymore and I know that.”

Camila frowns at her. “I’ve never thought that you were-”

“Don’t lie to me, Camz.” Lauren turns and looks at her for a moment. “I’m not the best at reading people, but I know that you thought that. But it’s okay, because you understand that you were wrong now.”

“I didn’t think that, Lo.” Camila folds her arms across her chest. “I’ve never thought that. I said it because I knew it would upset you, and I was angry and I _wanted_ to upset you. It’s like- it’s like if I called Dinah something that I knew would upset her, even though it’s not true.”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip. “I don’t believe you, but okay. Let’s go now, the park is open, it’s eight.”

“No, Lauren,” Camila shakes her head and takes her girlfriend’s hand. “You trust me, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods. “Of course I trust you, duh. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Then I need you to believe me when I say I’ve never thought that.” Camila leans over and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “Okay, baby? Please believe me.”

Lauren looks over at her for a moment and shrugs. “Okay then. Can we please go now? I want to get into the park and go on the Yeti ride straight away so there’s not a line. And then after we can go on the safari and see the lions.”

“Alright,” Camila says, eyeing Lauren for a moment to make sure her girlfriend is alright. “Let’s go.”

Lauren flashes her a million dollar smile and jumps out of the car, running around to the driver’s side and opening Camila’s door for her. “Come on, Camz. Let’s go.”

Lauren is practically vibrating as they walk up to the main gates of the park and scan their tickets, and she’s bouncing herself up and down during the routine bag check. Because it’s the magic hours, the park is almost deserted, and apparently that makes Lauren even more excited as she drags Camila all the way to the Yeti ride. And while Lauren had told her that the ride was similar to Big Thunder, Camila notices that it’s significantly taller.

“That’s so much higher than Big Thunder.” Camila points out as Lauren pulls her into the line, noting the five minute wait time. “That’s like, ten times bigger.”

“Well, yes, it’s a little taller, but it’s the same kind of ride,” Lauren says, “it doesn’t go upside down or anything. Rock N Rollercoaster goes upside down, I like that one but I have to keep my eyes shut because there’s lots of flashing lights, and there’s loud music too but it’s not too bad if I keep my eyes shut.”

“Why do you go on it if it could make you go into sensory overload?” Camila asks. “Like, wouldn’t you avoid it?”

“Well, I like fast rides, and it’s the best one in that park,” Lauren explains, “so I want to go on it. I’ll only go on once though.”

“Okay then,” Camila replies, “well, is this ride scary?”

“Not really,” Lauren shakes her head, “like I said, it’s like Big Thunder. More of a family ride, I think. But then you were scared by Splash Mountain, so you’ll probably find it scary. But that’s okay, because I’ll be there to protect you.”

“Yeah,” Camila smiles and kisses her girlfriend’s cheek. “You’ll protect me.”

They go on the Yeti ride twice – mostly because Lauren insists that it’s her favourite ride in the Animal Kingdom and they need to go on it more than once, but partially because Camila kind of wants to experience it with her eyes open.

After the Yeti ride, Lauren basically drags her to the safari, showing her the Donald Duck café on the way there and telling her that’s where they’ll have breakfast on their last day.

The safari is probably Camila’s favourite part. Not because she thinks the animals are interesting – they definitely are – but she’s too busy watching Lauren for most of it. And the way her girlfriend’s face lights up when she sees the lions makes Camila’s entire year.

“Camz, look!” Lauren turns around and shakes her, “Look, it’s the lions! They’re so close, I don’t remember them being this close. Look at how beautiful they are. I want to cuddle them.”

“Maybe stick to Nala, babe,” Camila laughs, watching as Lauren cuddles her stuffed lion to her chest. “Those lions would probably maul you to death.”

“Maybe,” Lauren says, gazing over at the lions, “but I think if I was in there with their trainer it’d be okay. I really wish I could train lions. If I’m not a famous artist or a graphic designer, I would like to work in animal care, but with big cats and wild animals because they’re so interesting.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip in thought. “Yeah, Lo, I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. I don’t want to get a phone call one day saying that you’ve been attacked by a tiger or something.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “Well, I wouldn’t turn my back on them, obviously. I’m smarter than that. I could always be a vet though, if I wanted to be. Because that way I’d get to learn about the biology of all the different animals. Biology is really interesting, it used to be one of my special interests but it’s not anymore.”

Camila frowns. “How do you lose special interests?”

Lauren just shrugs. “I stop caring about them because they’re just not as interesting to me. I don’t know _why_ it happens. It just does. You were a special interest at one point.”

“At one point?” Camila asks her, aware that Lauren’s too busy craning her neck to look at the lions that are almost behind them. “Why only at one point?”

“When I first started liking you, duh,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “and I like knowing things about you and stuff like that still, but you’re not a special interest anymore. Because you’re not new anymore. You became one because you were new to me and I really liked you.”

Camila pouts. “But I want to be one now. I don’t want you to stop caring about me or lose interest.”

“No, it’s not like that with people,” Lauren says, finally turning away from the lions that are now little specks in the distance. “It doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you anymore, because I do. I love you. It’s more like… it’s not like an obsession anymore. Not that I was obsessed with you-”

“I know you weren’t, babe,” Camila kisses Lauren’s temple and runs a hand through her hair, trying to get rid of the worried expression on her girlfriend’s face. “I just don’t know the difference between a special interest and what I am to you now.”

“Well, you’re my favourite person in the world, but I’m not- special interests are like, really passionate interests that I have to know everything about.” Lauren says. “If I’s about a specific topic, mostly I stop caring completely and never look at it again. But with _people_ , it’s like… it dies down. I don’t feel the constant need to be as close as possible to them, normally because I get closer to them over time. And I’m really close to you, obviously, since you’re my girlfriend. So I don’t feel like I need to be closer to you, because I’m as close to you as I can be.”

“Oh,” Camila smiles to herself and squeezes Lauren’s hand. “Alright then. Good. Just as long as you’re not going to lose interest and ditch me.”

“No, I would never,” Lauren forces eye contact with her, “I promise. I love you, Camzi. I could never just ditch you, you’re my favourite person in the world.”

“I know, Lolo. I was joking,” Camila assures her. “I know you’d never leave. And you’re stuck with me, too.”

Lauren looks back to the enclosures with her eyes wide. “Oh, look, cheetahs! The lady at the hotel didn’t say anything about cheetahs! I love big cats. Look at them, they’re so beautiful.”

“Yeah,” Camila says as she puts her arm around Lauren and plays with her raven hair, “beautiful. Just like you.”

Lauren blushes. “Yes, but look at them! They look so soft.”

“Again, like you.” Camila replies, kissing her girlfriend’s cheek. “Honestly, I thought they were leopards.”

“Lots of people make that mistake,” Lauren tells her, apparently caring far more about the cheetahs than the way Camila is dotting kisses across the side of her face. “You see, cheetahs just have black spots, but leopards have a different pattern that’s quite complex. I think it’s very pretty. Also, a lot of leopards have lighter fur.”

Wanting to test her girlfriend’s knowledge, Camila stops kissing her and frowns. “Which is faster? Cheetah or leopard?”

“Cheetah,” Lauren is quick to answer, “a leopard’s average speed is around fifty five miles per hour. A cheetah’s is like, seventy. Obviously there will be anomalies though, there always are. But that’s the average.”

Camila laughs. “Big cats are a special interest, huh?”

“Oh, yes,” Lauren nods, “Lions specifically, but others are really interesting too. I like big cats in general, but lions are my favourite. Lions are my favourite animal of all.”

“I’m just taking a wild guess here,” Camila starts, “but is _The Lion King_ also a special interest?”

“Yes,” Lauren confirms, not to Camila’s surprise, “I think it is a lifelong special interest. When are you going to buy me my Scar plushie? I think it might be a good idea to do that on the last day, since we’re coming here for breakfast in the Donald Duck café. Also, I already have Nala to carry today.”

“Alright, the last day it is,” Camila nods, “that gives you time to figure out my favourite Disney character and buy me a stuffed animal too.”

“Oh, I already know that,” Lauren says, “your favourite is Stitch from _Lilo and Stitch_. You told me that when we watched the movie a few months ago.”

Camila smiles fondly. “I should’ve known you’d remember that. Do you just memorise everything I say and store it away in your head?”

“Not everything. Only the important things or the things you want me to remember.” Lauren distractedly replies. “Look, hyenas. They’re in _The Lion King_.”

Camila holds back her sarcastic reply of _really? Didn’t notice at all during the 600 times we’ve watched it_ and nods. “Yeah. Really nice.”

“I don’t think hyenas are as bad as they are in _The Lion King_.” Lauren comments as they go past. “Because from the hyenas’ perspective in the movie, the lions are the bad guys. Everything is about perspectives, really.”

“Deep,” Camila laughs, “but I don’t think _The Lion King_ is much of a factual movie. Especially since it’s aimed at kids.”

“Did you know that there’s supposed subliminal messaging in it?” Lauren asks, throwing Camila a complete curveball as their safari vehicle comes to a stop. As they climb out, Lauren makes sure to dust herself and Nala off before helping Camila out. “I saw it in a conspiracy theory video. It says the word ‘sex’ in dust in the sky. I’ll point it out next time we watch it.”

“Do you just have a whole bank of weird facts and theories up there?” Camila asks, lightly tapping on her girlfriend’s head. “I bet you have the whole universe just packed up in there.”

Lauren shakes her head. “No, but I do know lots of things. I’m very intelligent, I have a-”

“A 5.0 GPA.” Camila finishes for her, fully aware of what the end of that sentence is. “I know. You’ve mentioned it once or twice.”

Lauren blushes. “I’m just- I’m proud of it, okay?”

“I know you are.” Camila squeezes her hand. “I think it’s endlessly adorable how you boast about it, too. Because you worked hard for that, and you should be proud.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “I did it mostly for my parents. Even though I like having a perfect GPA, I do it for them, because it makes them really proud and I love making them happy. Also, I can prove to the people at our school that I’m not stupid like they think and that I’m actually very smart.”

“Yeah. Prove them wrong, babe,” Camila kisses her cheek, “so, what’s next on your plan?”

“Well, we still have a few hours until the _Lion King_ show, so… we can go on rides to pass the time.” Lauren says. “And lunch will be after the show. We can go on the river rapids if you want. And then- um, maybe back on the Yeti ride, since that’s my favourite ride in the park.”

Camila gestures head of them. “Lead on, Lo. You’re in charge, remember?”

“Yes.” Lauren smiles. “I’m in charge.”

After the assurance that whatever they do is up to her, Lauren takes her on the river rapids twice and pulls her back onto the Yeti ride, and she wants to queue up for it again but the wait time would run over the _Lion King_ show. Naturally, Lauren gets them there half an hour earlier than they need to be, and her girlfriend is bouncing with excitement as they wait.

“I hope we get to sit on the front row,” Lauren says, “then we’ll be really close up and I’ll get to see everything.”

“You’ll be able to see everything anyway, Lo,” Camila reminds her. “I’ll make sure of it. And it’s not like we can’t come back and watch it again if you don’t.”

“You’d come and see it again with me?” Lauren asks. “My parents wouldn’t let me come last time we were here, they said it’d be a waste of thirty minutes. I was vetoed by my mom, dad and Chris. Taylor said she’d come and see it with me, but my mom said no.”

“It’s only half an hour,” Camila replies, “they should’ve let you come to see it, they know how happy it’d make you.”

“My family wanted to do something else,” Lauren shrugs, “but it’s okay, I’m here now. With you. And I get to see it.”

While they wait, Lauren rambles about how excited she is to see the show, Nala in particular, and she tells her all of the things she’s looked up online about it – apparently she doesn’t care much about spoilers – and Camila smiles, because Lauren is the cutest when she starts rambling about something she’s passionate about.

“I love it when you do things like that, Lo.” Camila says when Lauren pauses to take a breath. “When you tell me loads of things. I love hearing your opinions.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “I like to talk about things. Do you- um, do you think that music would be your special interest? If you were autistic, I mean.”

“Oh, probably,” Camila nods, “I mean, I’m incredibly passionate about it already. I kind of want to learn a new instrument, actually. I just love the mechanics of it all, how chord progressions are put together and how there’s a formula to everything but at the same time you don’t always have to follow that formula.”

Lauren nods as the doors open, and Camila can tell she’s desperate to ramble about _The Lion King_ again. But she doesn’t. “What instrument would you like to learn next?”

Camila hums in thought. “Piano, maybe. Why?”

“Oh, I play piano!” Lauren says, “I haven’t had lessons or anything, I taught myself, but I could- um, I could teach you. Or we could learn together.”

“You’ve never mentioned playing any instruments, Lo,” Camila points out, “but sure. I’d love to learn with you.”

“Well, I have played piano for a long time. I think- um, I think one time you asked me if I played anything, but I didn’t answer because you told me you sang and I wanted to hear you sing.” Lauren says. “I haven’t heard you sing properly yet, though. Only while you’re doing something. You should sing and play guitar for me.”

“I’ll make you a deal,” Camila says as they sit down on the front row, exactly where Lauren had wanted to be. “You sing and play the piano for me, and I’ll sing and play guitar for you.”

“Okay, deal,” Lauren nods and rubs her hand along Nala’s fur, bouncing in her seat. “I am so excited, Camzi. I get to see my _Lion King_ show!”

Camila smiles as Lauren fiddles with her fingers. “Yep. Only two more minutes and it should start.”

“It should start _now_!” Lauren complains. “I want it to start now. Two more minutes is stupid.”

“Patience, babe,” Camila reminds her. “You’ve waited months, you can wait two minutes.”

“Yes. Good point.” Lauren nods and directs her gaze to the stage, worrying the frayed tag on Nala’s left leg between her fingers. “Camz? What do you want to do for our one year anniversary? I would like to start planning that soon, and I’m assuming we’re going to do something for it.”

“Yeah, uh… we can do whatever you want, Lo.” Camila says, because she hasn’t really thought about that much. Maybe dinner, but Lauren isn’t a fan of restaurants. “Up to you.”

“Alright.” Lauren smiles to herself. “I will plan a surprise.”

“I look forward to it.” Camila says as the lights start to dim. “Lo? It’s starting.”

Lauren lets out an excited squeal that makes Camila’s stomach flip, but the younger Latina definitely doesn’t expect her girlfriend to practically launch herself at her and hug her. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you for bringing me here, baby.”

Camila wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist and buries her face into her shoulder. “You’re welcome, Lolo.”

Before Lauren pulls away, she pulls Camila in for an excited kiss and turns back towards the stage, bouncing up and down in her seat. Lauren’s good mood doesn’t damper at all throughout the show, and occasionally she’ll turn around to Camila and shoot her a smile that tops even one of Ally’s sunshine smiles, but her attention is generally on the show.

When she show finishes, Lauren doesn’t stop talking about it. She rambles on all throughout lunch, and when they go on the Yeti ride for the fourth time, she’s even talking about it then.

Camila doesn’t think she’s ever seen Lauren this happy, and that means the world to her.

-

“So, this is the restaurant.” Lauren says, gesturing around them as their waiter leads them to their table. “I really like this restaurant because- um, it’s like a buffet, so I can make sure that none of my food touches on my plate. It’s really great. I also- um, I tried alligator here. It was so weird, but also nice.”

“Mani said you’ve tried octopus before,” Camila comments, “even the thought made me want to puke.”

Lauren shrugs. “Well, I don’t know if I like octopus. So I’ll try it. I’ll try any food if you give it to me, unless it’s orange, but I can only eat certain things because of sensory differences. Certain textures and smells make me feel ill.”

“Still, you’re more… adventurous… with your food choices than me.” Camila points out. “I mean, I’ll eat pretty much anything if I know what it is. One time I tried salmon.”

Lauren frowns at her as she pulls Camila’s chair out for her. “Salmon isn’t really that… out there. If you know what I mean. Like it’s kind of generic, because most people would eat that.”

“Alright, Miss _I eat fish eggs and monkey brain_.” Camila rolls her eyes. “You’re lucky I’m still willing to kiss you after all the gross stuff you’ll try.”

Lauren shrugs. “It could be nice. You don’t know.”

Camila laughs, quickly ordering both her and Lauren’s drinks, and then she nods towards the buffet. “You go and get yours. I’ll watch our bags. I’ll go when you get back.”

Lauren’s eyes widen and she beams. “Can I get yours for you, too? I can get you loads of things to try.”

Camila narrows her eyes. “I don’t know. How do I know you won’t try to feed me lion dick or something?”

Lauren nearly chokes on her drink. “Oh my god, Camz. No. I- I don’t think they even have normal lion meat. But- I wouldn’t-”

Camila laughs at her girlfriend’s reaction. “Joking. I trust you. Go pile my plate up with loads of gross stuff.”

Lauren stands up and takes both of their plates. “I’ll be right back. Promise.”

“Alright,” Camila nods and takes a sip of her drink, “go easy on me, though. Nothing too weird.”

“Okay,” Lauren leans down and kisses her before disappearing in the direction of the buffet.

Camila watches after her for a moment, making sure it’s not too crowded, but once she’s sure Lauren is fine, she pulls her phone from her pocket and decides to upload a picture to Instagram, because she wants to make sure their Disney trip is sufficiently documented.

****_@camila_cabello: today was definitely one of the best days i’ve ever had and that’s down to this lil cutie right here. seeing u smile as much as u did today made my heart flutter and my stomach do flips and it doesn’t fail to amaze me when i think about how much i love u and how much of an effect u have on me. thank u for accompanying me on this mini week long adventure and here’s to the hundreds of disney trips we’ll have to look back on when we’re old and wrinkly and sat in our matching rocking chairs. i love you so much @laurenjauregui <3 xxx_ ** **

“Hey, Camz,” Lauren puts a plate down in front of her and Camila locks her phone, stuffing it in her jeans pocket. “I got things I thought you’d like and I’m not going to tell you what they are until you go and get another plateful and find out for yourself.”

“Alright.” Camila looks down at her plate, noting how Lauren had made sure nothing touches. “Check your Instagram, by the way. I posted one of our selfies.”

Lauren puts her fork down and gets her phone out, and Camila watches her girlfriend’s reaction as she reads the post, her smile gradually getting wider. After a few moments, Lauren turns to her with a wide smile. “I love you too. And can our matching rocking chairs be blue? I love the colour blue.”

“They can be anything you want,” Camila promises her, “anyway, don’t you want to see me be all grossed out by this food?”

Lauren laughs. “Don’t insult it until you taste it. You might like it, you don’t know.”

Camila cuts up a suspiciously rare piece of meat and tries the tiniest portion, humming in surprise when she actually doesn’t hate it. “What is this?”

“Alligator,” Lauren says. “I tried that last time I came here, it’s really nice.”

“I thought you’d never stayed in the Animal Kingdom before.” Camila points out as she takes another bite. “That’s what your family said.”

“Yes, but we’ve eaten here before.” Lauren says. “I like it because it’s quite quiet. I like quiet restaurants, because that means I won’t go into sensory overload.”

“You’ve been doing really well so far with that, Lo,” Camila tells her as she tries something else, a little surprised that nothing on her plate has made her want to gag yet. “I know a lot of the parks have been really busy and busy always equals loud. But you’ve been doing really well. You know to tell me if you feel uncomfortable, right?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “but I haven’t so far, aside from that first day in the Magic Kingdom. Anyway, I really wish we could get a glass of wine each. I had a glass last time I came, and it was really lovely coupled with the food.”

“Well, unless you can magically turn twenty-one, you’re going to have to suck it up, aren’t you?” Camila teases her. “We’ll come back when we’re old enough. Or when one of us has obtained a fake ID.”

“I think Mani has a fake ID, I can ask her where she got it.” Lauren says. “This is why I’m glad I don’t get drunk with them, because they have to use fake IDs and they could get into trouble.”

Camila raises her eyebrows. “Weed isn’t exactly legal, Lo.”

“I know that,” Lauren rolls her eyes at her. “But Keana wouldn’t tell the police that I buy it from her, because then she’d have to turn herself in, and that’d be dumb. Plus, nobody would ever suspect me.”

Camila laughs. “Damn, you’ve really thought this through.”

Lauren frowns at her. “I think everything through. You know that. I’m really organised.”

“Yeah,” Camila sends her a fond smile. “You are. Anyway, I’m so ready to sleep tonight. I’m exhausted.”

“You are?” Lauren frowns to herself. “That’s weird. I’m not that tired, and I got up earlier than you.”

“Yeah, but you were a big ball of energy today.” Camila points out. “but it’s fine. I’ll get my pyjamas on as soon as I get back to the room and I’ll curl up with you and have a well-deserved sleep.”

Lauren hums. “Yes. Anyway, can I look at the pictures you took? I want to see them all.”

Once Lauren has seen the pictures and they’re both done eating, Camila goes for a little walk and looks at all of the food that Lauren had given her, and none of it was as terrifying as she thought it might’ve been. The second they get back to the room, Camila disappears into the bathroom and gets changed into her pyjamas, which is basically just one of Lauren’s old softball hoodies and her underwear.

Lauren is next to go into the bathroom, carrying something in a small plastic bag, but Camila’s too tired to question her. So, the younger girl flops down on their bed and snuggles under the covers, picking up her book and deciding to read a chapter before she sleeps.

When Lauren comes out of the bathroom, not in her pyjamas and still in a cropped red t-shirt and a skirt, Camila feels that familiar ache between her legs, and honestly, it messes her up when Lauren dresses like this. But she’d promised her girlfriend that she wouldn’t make any other advances like that, so she keeps her mouth shut.

“So, um,” Lauren rocks herself on her heels and glances over at Camila for a moment. “Did you enjoy dinner?”

“I loved it, Lo.” Camila nods and puts her book down on the bedside table. “You didn’t have to pay, you know. All of this is supposed to be _your_ birthday present.”

“I want to pay for some things.” Lauren says, shifting to sit down next to Camila. “It’s not fair if you pay for the whole thing, you brought me here in the first place. That’s my present.”

Camila laughs. “You’re so insistent on being chivalrous, Lo, it’s-”

“I’ve been planning all of this for a while. Our schedule for Disney.” Lauren interrupts her, looking down at her feet. “And- um, I have, uh… there’s something I want to do.”

“Oh, okay,” Camila nods, “well, is it still open right now? I think all the parks are closed right now, Lo.”

“No- um, it’s not in a park,” Lauren rubs on her leg and lets out a sigh. “I want to have sex with you.”

Camila blinks in shock. “What?”

“Yes. I have thought about it and I am ready.” Lauren quietly replies, holding out one of the pages in her journal that reads _Disney day two_. Underneath _dinner_ , Camila reads _tell Camz you want to make love to her_. “And I would like to have sex with you. If you still want to.”

“Like… right now?” Camila sits up and carefully takes one of Lauren’s hands. “Are you sure, Lo? I know how frightened you were. I really want to make sure you’re certain.”

“I am certain. I’ve been certain for a while now.” Lauren murmurs, tracing three circles around Camila’s palm. “I would like to make love to you. Now, preferably, since I planned it for day two. But we could do it tomorrow if you’re tired, I know you said you were at dinner.”

While Camila is ridiculously tired from wandering around a Disney park all day, she’s definitely not too tired for that. Not when she’s wanted it for so long. “I’m not too tired.”

“Okay,” Lauren shuffles closer to her and cups Camila’s face with her hands. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

Camila smiles against Lauren’s lips as her girlfriend kisses her tentatively, her fingers tangling through Lauren’s raven hair. She can tell Lauren’s nervous, and she wants to pull away and make absolutely sure that her girlfriend is okay, but when she moves backwards a little, Lauren is quick to pull her in again.

When Camila feels Lauren relocate her lips to her neck, she takes that as her chance. “Lo? Are you definitely ready?”

“Yes,” Lauren pauses to suck on Camila’s pulse point, and Camila lets out a small whimper when she feels her girlfriend’s chapped lips tug on the soft skin. “Aren’t you? I thought you were. But if you’re not, we can stop.”

“No, I just-” Lauren cuts her off with another kiss, but she doesn’t deepen it. Not like the others. Instead, it’s just a gentle peck on her lips, before Lauren pulls away again, bright green eyes shining. “You seem nervous. And I wanted to make sure you’re one hundred percent okay.”

“Of course I’m nervous, I’ve never done this before.” Lauren taps on her leg. “But it doesn’t mean I’m not ready. It’s like when we went on the rollercoaster earlier today. You were certain you wanted to go on it, but- um, you were still nervous. I just had to hold your hand on it. And you’ll do that for me here, you’ll be here to comfort me.”

“Okay then,” Camila leans in and kisses Lauren again. “I had to make sure.”

“Yes. Um- anyway, can we have sex now?” Lauren looks up at her with the most innocent expression and Camila completely fails at holding in her laughter. “What? I wasn’t joking or anything. I really want to.”

“No- just- never mind,” Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek and plays with the hem of her girlfriend’s crop top. “Let’s get this off you, shall we?”

Lauren blushes as Camila tugs her shirt off and goes to toss it across the room. “Are you going to-”

“Way ahead of you, Lo,” Camila laughs, folding up Lauren’s shirt as quickly as she can and dropping it on the floor by the bed. She reaches behind the back of her girlfriend and unzips her skirt, biting back her smile when Lauren wriggles out of it and waits for her to fold it. When her eyes land on Lauren’s underwear, though, her smile is completely wiped from her face. “Where did you- um, get _those_?”

Lauren snaps the waistband of the black, lacy panties she’s wearing. “I went shopping because I knew we would be doing this here and Dinah told me that- um, you wear sexy lingerie when you make love, and that if I wore my usual underwear you might not like it. She helped me pick it out. She said it would- um, _turn you on_. Is it working? I hope it is, because the material is rather uncomfortable. I only just put them on now. I tried them on the night before my birthday and fell asleep, so that's why I made you leave the room when I got changed.”

“It’s- well, yeah. It’s really working.” Camila bites down on her bottom lip and kisses along Lauren’s jawline. “You’re so beautiful, baby girl.”

“I- thank you,” Lauren plays with Camila’s t-shirt, “can I take this off you?”

“Yes,” Camila smiles to herself and lets Lauren take her hoodie from it, watching in adoration as Lauren folds it up and places it with the others.

Lauren leans in to kiss her again and Camila reaches behind her girlfriend and fiddles with the clasp on the matching lacy black bra she’s wearing. “Can I take your bra off, Lo?”

“Yes please,” Lauren nods, pecking Camila on the corner of her mouth and sending her a soft smile, “I don’t like bras, really. I only just put this on because Dinah told me that you wear sexy lingerie when you make love, and I want to make this perfect. For you.”

Camila smiles and takes a few moments to unclasp Lauren’s bra, before tossing it aside. She takes in her girlfriend’s flawless body for a little while, not being shy about how much she’s staring, because she finds it incredibly hard to believe that someone as gorgeous as Lauren is all hers. Then, she gently caresses Lauren’s right breast, her fingers running across the smooth surface and massaging the hardening tip. “That’s much better, I think. Do you like that, babe?”

Lauren lets out a whine in response and kisses her again, her fingers fumbling with the clasp on Camila’s bra. She pulls away and murmurs a small, “I love you,” before she finally takes Camila’s bra and drops it on the floor, her apparent need to take clothes off and leave them neat forgotten for the moment.

Camila attaches her lips to Lauren’s jawline and dots kisses across her girlfriend’s neck, sucking against Lauren’s pounding pulse point and nibbling on her earlobe. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Lo. God, I can’t wait to make you come.”

Lauren mumbles something into her neck, and Camila leans forward so Lauren is laid down on the bed, trailing kisses along her girlfriend’s neck, pausing to suck on her collarbone. “Camz…”

Camila makes sure to be as gentle as possible as she massages Lauren’s breast with her tongue, lightly nibbling on the hard tip before dotting kisses around it. “I love you so much, princess. You’re so beautiful.”

Lauren’s fingers run through Camila’s hair, and Camila shifts back up to kiss her properly, before dotting kisses across her girlfriend’s nicely toned abs. “I like this a lot.”

Camila looks up at her girlfriend and beams when they make eye contact – especially when Lauren doesn’t look away – and moves back up to kiss her jawline, sucking on her pulse point and leaving another red mark. She makes sure to rub her thigh against Lauren’s already wet centre as her teeth graze her girlfriend’s bottom lip, eliciting a whine from the older Latina.

Camila is entirely too focused on what her girlfriend’s tongue is doing, and when her hand trails down Lauren’s stomach and she starts tracing along Lauren’s core over her soaked panties, she expects her girlfriend to pull back, to tell her that she’s not really ready and she hadn’t thought it through.

Instead, Lauren bucks her hips upwards and tangles her fingers in Camila’s hair, murmuring a soft, “Keep going. Camz, please. _Hazme el amor_.”

With Lauren’s assurance, Camila pulls her girlfriend’s panties off her and throws them somewhere across the room, deciding to go with her instincts and shuffle down to kiss Lauren’s wet centre, proud of herself when she elicits a gasp from the older girl, and Lauren’s hips move up to meet her mouth.

Camila teases Lauren’s entrance with two fingers and dots kisses around her girlfriend’s inner thigh, fully aware of how much Lauren is pushing upwards. “Do you like that, baby?”

“Camz, fuck,” Lauren whines, “ _cojeme, por favor.”_

Camila feels the familiar ache between her legs at Lauren’s words, because while her girlfriend speaking Spanish casually is hot, Lauren asking her to fuck her in her native language does all kinds of things to her. So, Camila slides two fingers inside of her girlfriend and starts gently thrusting them inwards and outwards, curling them in all the right places, all while dotting kisses against Lauren’s centre, finally moving to suck on the little bundle of nerves and hearing Lauren’s small whine.

“Again,” Lauren’s hands find her head and push her downwards. “ _Siga adelante_.”

Wanting to make her girlfriend happy, Camila circles Lauren’s clit with her tongue, adding another finger as she starts going faster. She hears Lauren trying to conceal her moans, and Camila pauses, using her thumb to keep working Lauren’s clit as she speaks. “It’s okay to be loud, princess. Let me know how much you like it.”

“Don’t stop with your tongue,” Lauren gasps out and pushes Camila’s head back down. “Please. Keep going.”

“As you wish,” Camila smirks and leans back down, tracing invisible art on her girlfriend’s clit with her tongue and trying to hold back her grin when she hears Lauren’s moans of ecstasy. She moves her fingers at a faster pace, feeling Lauren’s walls start to tighten around her, and she knows that her girlfriend isn’t too far from coming – at least, from all of the fanfictions she’s read.

“Camz- Camz, I can’t-” Lauren cuts herself off and lets out a whine, “I’m- _voy a acabar_.”

Camila pumps her fingers harder and traces three circles around Lauren’s clit until her girlfriend lets out a final moan of “ _Camz_.” Camila rubs Lauren’s clit with her thumb and helps her ride out her orgasm, and licks her girlfriend’s cum off her fingers before moving up to kiss Lauren again.

“You tasted so good, baby girl,” Camila dots kisses along Lauren’s jawline. “I’m so glad we finally did that.”

“Yes,” Lauren looks up at her, her green eyes bright. “I love you, Camz. Thank you for- um, doing that.”

“God, it was so hot when you started speaking Spanish,” Camila kisses her shaky girlfriend’s jawline, “you’re doing all kinds of things to me, Lo.”

“I- um, that just came out.” Lauren murmurs, her cheeks flushed. “But can I- um, can I do that to you? I want to make you feel as good as you made me feel. Because you deserve it.”

Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek, her stomach flipping, mostly because she’s been waiting for this moment for what feels like forever and while she’s one hundred percent ready, she’s still incredibly nervous. “Go for it, baby.”

Lauren lets out a long breath and kisses Camila again, before moving downwards and tugging her girlfriend’s underwear off her. Lauren kisses Camila’s inner thigh and the younger Latina feels the familiar ache between her legs, although this time she’s relaxed, because it’s finally going to be satisfied.

Lauren works her way up Camila’s inner thigh, and when her soft lips finally land on Camila’s centre, Camila feels white hot fire trickle down her spine. “God, I fucking love you, Lo.”

Lauren responds by teasing Camila’s entrance with her forefinger, smiling to herself when Camila lets out a whine.

“Lo, please,” Camila bites down on her bottom lip when Lauren slides one finger into her, because it’s not enough and she knows that she has to guide her girlfriend and help her know what she likes. “Lauren. Fuck- Lo, please. Another.

Lauren slides a second finger into her and starts gently pumping them in and out, caressing her girlfriend’s soft walls. “Am I doing this right?”

“Yes, oh my god,” Camila says as Lauren moves up to kiss her neck, sucking on her pulse point. “You’re so- _fuck_. Lauren, I- you’re amazing.”

She feels Lauren smile into her neck. “I’m doing well?”

“Definitely,” Camila moves a little faster, and she decides to speed things up, because she knows her girlfriend has no idea what she’s doing – honestly, neither did Camila. “Faster, baby.”

At her request, Lauren speeds up, and curls her fingers inside Camila with every upward thrust. Lauren glances up at her, as if she’s trying to ask if that’s okay, and Camila lets out a moan in response, because her girlfriend is fucking good at this.

Camila lets out a gasp and bucks her hips upwards when Lauren’s tongue comes in contact with her clit, and she feels her girlfriend trace circles around it, her hand moving down to push Lauren’s head down further. “Keep going, Lo. God, please.”

Lauren starts moving her tongue over Camila’s clit faster, and the younger girl can feel herself tightening around Lauren’s fingers, but she doesn’t want to end so quickly. Lauren’s fingers stroke her inner walls, and Camila tangles her fingers in her girlfriend’s hair, letting out a gasp. “Babe. Oh, _god_ , I’m so close-”

Lauren traces slow circles around Camila’s clit and the younger girl feels fire building in the pit of her stomach, and she wants nothing more than to be with Lauren in this moment for the rest of her life. The movements of Lauren’s tongue are sending shivers down Camila’s spine, and the younger girl knows she’s not too far from the edge. Lauren sucks on her clit, massaging the little nub with her tongue, and Camila feels her toes curl and she moans out Lauren’s name.

Almost as if she senses that Camila is on the edge, Lauren adds another finger and starts thrusting harder, pressing down on Camila’s clitoris with her thumb and adding more pressure as she moves faster, finally sending her girlfriend off the edge. Pleasure trickles down Camila’s spine, her toes curling and her orgasm coming over her in waves. She doesn’t bother keeping quiet, because she wants Lauren to know that she’s done well, and gasps her girlfriend’s name into her shoulder. “Lauren- oh my god, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Lauren copies Camila and licks her girlfriend’s cum from her fingers. “You’re- that was amazing.”

Breathily, Camila nods, “That was so worth the wait.”

“Yes.” Lauren taps against her leg and looks anywhere but Camila. “I would like to- um, do it again. Some other time. If that’s okay.”

“That would be wonderful,” Camila leans in and kisses Lauren, tasting herself on her girlfriend’s lips. “You’re so fucking good at that, Lo.”

“I am?” Lauren blinks in confusion. “Oh. Okay. I didn’t think I would be, but I did some… I read some things online to help. What- no, don’t laugh-”

But Camila can’t help herself. She laughs. “Oh my god, Lo. You and your damn google searches.”

“I just wanted to make it good for you.” Lauren pouts. “Don’t mock me.”

“I’m not mocking you, Lolo,” Camila ruffles her girlfriend’s already messy hair. “I think it’s cute. Really. I guess you could say I’ve done a lot of research myself, if you count all of the fanfictions I’ve read in the past.”

Lauren hums to herself. “Yes. You researched too, so you can’t make fun of me.”

“I can make fun of you all I want, you’re my Lolo lion,” Camila taps her on the nose and pulls her down for a hug. She smiles to herself when Lauren buries her face in her neck, and reaches down to pull the sheets of the bed over them. “Are you tired?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “I would like to go to sleep now, since we have to be up really early tomorrow to keep to my schedule. I will see you- um, tomorrow. When we wake up. I have an alarm set on my phone, so…”

“Okay, baby,” Camila kisses the top of her head. “I’m going to read my book for a little while, but feel free to sleep on me.”

“Okay.” Lauren curls up next to her as Camila reopens her book, and the younger Latina doesn’t fail to notice the proud smile on her girlfriend’s face. “Goodnight, Camz.”

“Night, Lolo.”

Both of them fall asleep with smiles on their faces.

-

“Hey, Lo?” Camila turns to her girlfriend with a frown as she pulls her sunglasses over her face. “Do you want to go in the wave pool with me?”

Lauren frowns and taps on her leg. “I’m not a very good swimmer. I will go on waterslides with you, though.”

“I’ll take that as a no, then.” Camila laughs. “Aren’t you going to get into your bathing suit, though? You’re just sat there in your sweater.”

At her prompt, Lauren takes her sweater off and reveals her bikini top, unbuttoning her jeans and handing them over to Camila, folded, for her to put in her bag. “There. I did it. But I don’t want to go anywhere, because I don’t want people to see my scars.”

Camila blinks at her. “Lauren… nobody is going to stare. If it makes you feel any better, I never noticed them. Not until you drew my attention to them by telling me not to look.”

Lauren frowns to herself. “I should’ve worn a one-piece.”

“Or you should’ve worn exactly what you’re wearing and go out and be confident in yourself and your body.” Camila reaches behind Lauren and traces over the scars. “You have these through no fault of your own. Besides, you told Sofi that scars don’t make you any less beautiful.”

“Yes, but she’s a little kid and I wanted her to feel better.” Lauren taps on her leg. “And it’s different. I don’t like them. I don’t- it’s bad. Because it’s what she did.”

“I know,” Camila kisses her cheek. “But you’re beautiful. All of you. And I’m here to support you and I’d be so cool if you could come on a waterslide with me. Nobody will look at your back, Lo. Honestly, you can hardly tell.”

Lauren hums to herself. “I don’t know. You’ll look after me?”

“Forever,” Camila promises. “Honestly, I should be the one who’s concerned about people staring at you. I don’t want people trying to steal my girlfriend for her beautiful body.”

Lauren frowns. “Yes, but they wouldn’t be able to, because I love you. Nobody could take me away.”

“You’re too sweet,” Camila smiles, “but what I mean is, you need to try and not care about what people will think of your scars. Because I don’t think any less of you for having them. Neither do the girls. Neither does Sofi, and she thinks- she thinks really highly of you, Lo. You hanging out with her has helped her a lot, because you get it. You get how it feels to be unable to talk well, and I think she really looks up to you for that.”

“I am glad that Sofi likes me.” Lauren says. “I will help her, like I said I would. I don’t know how, but I can try and help her speak. Show her how I did it. Would she like that?”

“I think she’d love that, babe,” Camila kisses her, “You, her and I can have a day out together and you can speak to her about things. Yeah?”

“Yes,” Lauren confirms with a smile. “I will help your sister. Anyway, would you like me to come on some waterslides with you? I will try not to think about my scars.”

“Good,” Camila smiles. “But you’re beautiful anyways. Scars and little things don’t matter in the long run. Because my Lolo lion is the prettiest girl in this entire waterpark.”

Lauren pouts. “No. That’s you. But I’m a close second, I guess.”

“Nope,” Camila shakes her head. “ _You_. No arguments, because I could go all day. You’re the cutest human on the planet and that can’t be debated.”

Lauren blushes. “But- um, Dinah always says she’s the cutest.”

“Well, it’s you. She’s a close second though, I will admit,” Camila laughs and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “You’re the cutest. My cute Lolo lion.”

“I love it when you call me that,” Lauren says, her blush deepening. “Drunk Camila came up with it. I like drunk Camila. She’s fun and she compliments me lots. And you shouted at my mom while you were in your underwear.”

It’s Camila’s turn to blush. “Shut up, okay? Drunk Mila is just really intensely in love with you, apparently. And I guess she was just really passionate about making your mom stop with the whole forcing eye contact thing. And I didn’t even realise I was in my underwear, alright? I didn’t care, anyway. I was drunk.”

“My mom asked me why you were in your underwear the day after, when you went home,” Lauren tells her. “She’d thought that we had sex. But I told her I didn’t think I’d ever be ready for that. I think that’s why she lets us share my bed and why she was okay with me coming to Disney with you, because she thought I’d never… but… I did, so she should’ve probably asked for an update on that.”

“Honestly, Lo, the other night was so perfect,” Camila squeezes her hand. “I loved it. It was really worth the wait.”

Lauren blushes. “I didn’t- um, I didn’t really know what I was doing. But I’m glad you thought it was nice, because I did too. I feel very- um, connected to you. Especially after that.”

“I get that, Lo.” Camila smiles. “It didn’t hurt you at all, did it?”

“No, I realised that I’d been worried for nothing,” Lauren giggles to herself, “I didn’t mean to be scared, but sensory differences made a little worried. But I am glad that we have done it, because now- uh, now we can make love more often.”

“Yeah,” Camila smiles and bites down on her bottom lip. “So long as we both want to.”

Lauren hums in acknowledgement. “Can we go and see the lions again when we go back to the Animal Kingdom? I miss the lions.”

Camila laughs. “Sure, babe. We can go and see the lions. And the cheetahs.”

“Yes,” Lauren smiles. “I wish they had jaguars, I really like jaguars. And panthers, I like those too. I love big cats. One time someone called me Lauren Jaguar. Because they couldn’t pronounce my last name.”

Camila snorts. “Your last name is easy. _Jauregui_ , see?”

“Yes, but people who don’t speak Spanish find it hard. I found it hard when I was learning to talk.” Lauren says, “but I guess that was just me knowing how to pronounce it but being unable to. It sometimes makes me laugh when people butcher it though.”

“Well, whatever, Lauren Jaguar,” Camila pulls her girlfriend up, “let’s go on some waterslides.”

“Camz,” Lauren says as Camila leads her towards the closest waterslide. “Do you really think I’m cute?”

“Yep,” Camila nods, “I wish I’d known you as a kid. I’ve seen some fetus pictures in your lounge and you were the cutest little thing. I just want to dive into the picture, pick you up and cuddle you.”

Lauren snorts. “I wasn’t that cute. I just want to know if you think I’m really pretty now.”

“I definitely do,” Camila says, “but that first half is a lie. You were the cutest little baby. Still are. But if I could go back in time I’d go back for the sole purpose of squishing your little cheeks. You had bangs, too. That was a look.”

Lauren taps her fingers against her leg. “Well… I don’t think I’d have let you squish my cheeks. Because I didn’t like being touched at all back then. My mama would try to hug me and I’d push her off. I hit a lot too, so if you tried to touch me I would’ve hit out at you.”

Camila frowns. “Why do you like being touched now?”

“I don’t,” Lauren is quick to reply. “I don’t like physical contact a lot of the time. You’re only allowed to touch me if I like you, and that’s only if I let you.”

“You always let me hug you.” Camila points out. “And annoy you with kisses when I want something.”

“That’s because I like the feel of it when you kiss me.” Lauren explains. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have let you go past our first kiss. But I like it, so I let you kiss me when you want. Because I like the physical stuff that comes with a romantic relationship, when it’s with you. You’re- it feels nice when you touch me.”

“I know that being in a relationship was scary for you at first, Lo,” Camila says, “but honestly, you’re the best girlfriend anyone could wish for and you’re so good at this. Better than a lot of other people.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “Yes. I thought relationships were very scary. But with you, everything is so easy. You’re like- you make things easier. Like you can twist situations and make them better for me.”

“I know what you need,” Camila shrugs, “but I shouldn’t be praised for being a decent human being and making you comfortable. I’m glad you feel like you can do anything with me, though. That’s something you’ve worked hard at.”

“Yes,” Lauren kisses her, “I am better at this relationship stuff now. It’s really cool. I love it, and you. Thank you for falling in love with me.”

Camila can’t hold back her laugh. “You’re welcome, I guess. Didn’t do it intentionally though. You pulled me in with your cute little compliments and your pretty face and your beautiful personality. Damn you for being so perfect. It makes me sick.”

Lauren giggles. “You’re being sarcastic. I can tell. But I remember always thinking about how I wanted you to develop feelings for me but I didn’t think that it was realistic. But I was being an idiot, obviously, because I’m loveable.”

“Incredibly loveable.” Camila agrees, leaning in and kissing her. “Anyway. Waterslide action. Are we going to start off slow or not?”

“Um… not,” Lauren says, frowning in thought. “What’s that saying? _Go big or go home_. Did I use that correctly?”

“Yeah,” Camila laughs, “You did. So… you want to go on this one?” She pauses to nod to the closest waterslide, “It has a raft and stuff. I prefer the ones with rafts but I always fly out at the end.”

Lauren snorts. “That’ll be funny to watch.”

“Hey, no,” Camila sends her girlfriend an indignant glare as they start climbing up the stairs to the top of the slide, “If I’m going down, I’m taking you with me.”

Lauren pouts. “But… I’m too cute. You wouldn’t pull me off the raft because I’m too cute and you love me.”

Camila gives her a light shove. “Don’t underestimate me. Even cute things will feel my wrath. You’re no exception.”

“I’ll keep hold of you.” Lauren decides. “That way neither of us will fall off the raft.”

Camila narrows her eyes. “How do I know you won’t just push me off the raft when we hit the bottom so you have your daily comic relief? Because honestly, Lo, I already tripped up some stairs at the hotel, it’s not like you haven’t seen me fall yet today.”

Lauren laughs at the memory. “Yeah, that was funny. Your face broke your fall.”

“You’re not supposed to _laugh_ ,” Camila replies, scoffing in mock offence, “you’re supposed to be a caring girlfriend and tell me that nobody saw my little fall and that it wasn’t as ridiculous as I think.”

“But it _was_ ridiculous.” Lauren laughs even harder. “You even screamed, it was hilarious. Even the receptionist laughed at you.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip to supress her grin and gives Lauren a light slap to the arm. “You’re horrible.”

Lauren frowns at her. “I’m sorry. What did I do?”

“You laughed at my little accident earlier,” Camila points out, boosting herself up on her tiptoes to kiss Lauren’s cheek. “But you’re not really horrible. Most of the time.”

Lauren beams. “Yes. I’m great.”

“Anyway, loser, get on the raft,” Camila says as they reach the front of the line. “I’ll go in the front and you can hold onto me. Okay?”

“Alright,” Lauren settles down behind her in the raft and wraps her arms around Camila’s waist. “And I’m not a loser. You are. You’re the one who fell over earlier.”

“Oh my god, Lo,” Camila laughs, “let it _go_. It happened, I’m over it. It’s not a rare occurrence for me.”

Lauren opens her mouth to reply, but the guy watching over the waterslide pushes them down and she lets out a little squeak in surprise.

The slide lasts about three seconds and is honestly quite anticlimactic, but as she predicted, Camila ends off falling off the raft when they hit the bottom. Lauren, on the other hand, stays safely on the raft, and when Camila bobs up to the surface with an unimpressed look on her face, she hears her girlfriend’s giggles.

Lauren doesn’t make any attempt to stifle her laughter. “You fell.”

Camila scowls. “It’s not that funny.”

“But you’re all-” Lauren cuts herself off with a laugh, “You look like when you give a pomerainan a bath and all of its poofy fur sticks down to its skin.”

“Lauren Michelle Jauregui Morgado, if you keep laughing, I’ll get revenge.” Camila warns her. “And no, you’re not too cute for it. Nobody is too cute for my wrath.”

Lauren keeps laughing despite Camila’s warning. “You look so funny.”

Camila smirks and ducks under the water, swimming over to the raft and underneath it. Then, with as much strength as she can gather, pushes up and knocks the raft over completely. When she hears a loud _splash_ , she knows that her plan was successful, and she resurfaces to see Lauren coughing up water.

“That’s what you get when you mock Karla Camila Cabello,” Camila folds her arms over her chest and sends her a proud smile. “Told you that you weren’t too cute for revenge.”

Lauren wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand. “You’re mean.”

“You were mocking me.” Camila points out, pulling the raft towards her as she makes her way out of the pool. “Therefore I needed to get revenge.”

“You’re a jerk.” Lauren pouts. “I can’t swim very well, you could’ve drowned me.”

Camila scoffs. “I wouldn’t let you _drown_ , babe. I’d save you. I’m a fully trained cute girl saver.”

Lauren rolls her eyes as she pushes her wet hair out of her face. “You’re still a jerk.”

“But you love me.” Camila grins, pulling her towards the stairs. “Come on, let’s go again.”

-

“I’m going to miss this,” Lauren says as she sits down across the table from Camila in the café. “Disney, I mean. Because this has been the best holiday ever and- um, I’m really happy to be here. This trip has been really special, especially because we made love for the first time here.”

Camila smiles to herself. “If we could stay another week, we would. But I have to give you back to your family at some point.”

Lauren pouts. “I’d rather stay here.”

“Nice,” Camila laughs, “I’ll be sure to let your parents, Taylor and Chris know that you’d choose Disney over them.”

“No, it’s not like that,” Lauren shakes her head, “I’d see them the week after. But I’d choose to stay here with you another week if I could.”

“You had fun, then?” Camila asks, biting down on her lip to supress her smile when Lauren beams and nods quickly. “Good. I’m glad I could make your eighteenth birthday special, Lolo.”

“I had so much fun, this has been the best week of my life.” Lauren tells her, and Camila feels her stomach flip. “And next I get to have my Scar plushie. I will cuddle it on the way home, but we’re not going until four, right?”

“Nope, so we still have almost a full day here.” Camila says. “We can go on the Yeti ride another twenty times and you can go and see your _Lion King_ show again.”

Lauren blinks at her in surprise. “You were serious when you said we could go again? Because I thought you’d rather do other things, that’s why I didn’t bring it up.”

“I’d love to go again.” Camila says with a smile. “I watched you more than I watched the actual show, and if I’ll get to see you looking that happy again, I’m in.”

Lauren rubs on her leg. “Thank you, Camz. Anyway, I would like pancakes for my breakfast. I love pancakes. What are you having?”

Camila shrugs and looks down at the menu, not in the mood for anything like bacon and eggs. “Yeah. I’ll have pancakes too.”

“Good,” Lauren pulls the menu out of Camila’s hands and sets it on top of hers on the table. “Also- um, Donald Duck is coming round. Do you think he’ll stop at our table? Because he might not, mostly because we’re both- we look too old to want to take pictures with the characters.”

Camila snorts. “You’re never too old for that. And if he doesn’t I’ll complain, because I want my selfie with Donald Duck. I want selfies with all of the characters. That’s the whole point in coming here.”

Lauren rubs her hand along her leg. “Yes. Good point. I also really want a picture with Pluto, because he’s my favourite out of the classic Disney characters.”

“Really?” Camila hums in thought. “I’m more of a Minnie Mouse girl myself, to be honest. Why do you think I bought you those mouse ears you’re wearing? So you look extra adorable _and_ like one of my favourite Disney characters.”

Lauren reaches up and flicks one of the ears. “Yes. I am adorable. Would you like me to buy you a Minnie Mouse too? I am going to buy you Stitch, but I can get you Minnie Mouse as well.”

“No, that’s okay. I already have a Minnie Mouse to cuddle.” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “And I’m looking right at her.”

Lauren blushes. “Okay. I will just buy you Stitch, then. But can we really go and see the _Lion King_ show again? You wouldn’t rather do anything else?”

“We can go and see it again, babe.” Camila promises her. “We’ll go at twelve this time, so that gives us like, three hours to do stuff beforehand.”

“Yes, and we can go on the river rapids again. We didn’t get very wet last time.” Lauren says. “Also we can go on the safari again and see the lions.”

Camila laughs. “Of course, can’t forget the lions. You should take some pictures for your Instagram and make any random lion enthusiasts that follow you jealous.”

“Oh, that reminds me, I posted a picture of us last night.” Lauren tells her. “I couldn’t sleep because I was so excited about going to the Animal Kingdom again, so I posted one of the pictures we’ve taken. Go look.”

Camila takes her phone out of her pocket and opens up Instagram, going to her girlfriend’s page – which happens to be the top page in her most viewed – and taps on the most recent post.

****_@laurenjauregui: We got a stranger to take this picture when we went to the Magic Kingdom to see the fireworks the other night, and I know it’s kind of dorky to say this but I’m currently having the best vacation of my life with the most beautiful girl in the world and I can’t thank her enough for bringing me to Disney for my eighteenth birthday. Love you, Camzi. @camila_cabello <3_ ** **

****_@dinahjane97: most beautiful girl in the word? Excuse u but that’s me lol ;)_ ** **

****_@normanikordei: @dinahjane97 let this little sap gush about her gf (even though you’re not wrong)_ ** **

“Lo,” Camila laughs as she reads their friends’ comments, “why didn’t you tell me that Norminah happened in the comments?”

“I didn’t realise it had,” Lauren replies, leaning over to read the comments on Camila’s phone. “Hey, Mani’s mean, I’m not a sap. But- um, is she flirting with Dinah?”

“Looks like it,” Camila says, stuffing her phone back into her pocket as their waitress brings their pancakes over. “But that’s a good thing. It means Dinah might not be the only one with feelings.”

“If they start dating, we should- um,” Lauren pauses to chew her mouthful of pancake, “we should get Ally a boyfriend. I don’t know how, but we should. She used to date this guy called Troy, but they broke up about a year ago now.”

“Actually, some guy in her calculus class asked her out a few months back.” Camila points out. “His name is Will. I’m pretty sure they’re friends, so… maybe we could nudge Ally in the right direction. I tried, but clearly I need the other half of Camren to have any success with matchmaking.”

“Well, I can- um, help you plan. I was really good at telling Mani to cuddle Dinah.” Lauren tells her. “And I’m organised. So I can- _oh_ , look Camz, it’s Pluto!”

Camila follows Lauren’s gaze with a laugh. “Yep. We’ll get a selfie, don’t worry. We’ve got to get Donald Duck first.”

Lauren nods and cuts off another bite of pancake. “You’re right. Can I have a sip of your apple juice?”

Camila pushes the glass over to her. “Sure. Don’t you like your green tea?”

“I do, it’s just that I wanted something cold to wash down my pancake.” Lauren says. “Do you like green tea? I only ever see you drink soda.”

Camila shrugs. “Never tried it. And that’s not true, I have milkshakes as well.”

“Yes, but milkshakes aren’t really that healthy.” Lauren reminds her. “They’re full of fat.”

“Also full of milk, which is full of calcium.” Camila retorts. “Calcium makes your bones grow. I’m going to be big and strong when I grow up, but you? Nope, you’re going to have tiny little bones because you didn’t drink enough chocolate milkshakes.”

Lauren frowns at her. “I’m stronger than you.”

“No you’re not.” Camila snorts. “I could pin you in seconds.”

Lauren shakes her head. “That’s only because I let you.”

Camila rests her arm on the table and holds her hand out. “Fine. Arm wrestle. We’ll settle this. And _no_ going easy.”

Lauren frowns for a moment, and eventually just laughs. “Camz, we’re in a restaurant.”

“Oh,” Camila smirks, “scared you’ll lose, are you?”

“ _No_ , I’m just-” Lauren taps on her leg, “It’s not appropriate behaviour.”

“Live a little, Lo,” Camila points out, holding out her arm. “Last chance to prove you’re stronger.”

Lauren sighs and locks her fingers with Camila. “When do we start?”

“Now,” Camila says and starts pushing Lauren’s arm down, a little shocked by her girlfriend’s strength. But Camila isn’t about to eat her words of defence for her chocolate milkshakes. Nope, Camila will defend milkshakes to the grave.

After about three minutes of arm wrestling, Lauren eventually starts to falter, and Camila pins her arm on the table. “ _Hah_. Told you that milkshakes make you big and strong.”

“I’m still bigger than you.” Lauren mutters. “And I- um, I was going easy.”

“Lauren,” Camila laughs, “You suck at lying.”

“That’s not-” Lauren lets out a sigh of defeat and pouts. “You’re a jerk.”

“You told me that in the waterpark.” Camila reminds her. “And like I said there, you love me anyway. So I don’t have to change.”

Lauren rolls her eyes and sends her a fond smile. “Yeah. I guess I do love you.”

“Anyway, let’s talk about something else.” Camila says, tapping on the table in thought. “How about you tell me about the _Lion King_ show. You know, considering I was more focused on watching you.”

When Lauren starts rambling about all the little details of the show and telling her little factoids that she’d looked up about it, Camila just smiles, because Lauren was one hundred percent right; this definitely had been the best week of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE. THEY FUCKED. AND WENT TO DISNEYWORLD. I've legit never written smut before so I hope it lived up to your expectations. This story wasn't even going to have smut at all but then you all asked for it so I delivered because I'm so wonderfully nice.
> 
> Also apologies for any mistakes with the Spanish. I can kind of speak it but not very well and the internet lies sometimes.


	40. Chapter 40

“Oh my god, Lo.”

“Put that away!” Lauren runs over to Camila and her mom and rips the photo album out of her mother’s hands. “Don’t show her my baby pictures.”

“But _Lauren,_ ” Camila pouts and takes the photo album back. “Look how cute you were. You can’t deny me that.”

Lauren frowns. “But I don’t want you to look at my baby pictures.”

“Let her look, Lauren,” Clara laughs and flicks over the page, pointing to a picture in the top left. “This was her first day of school. She made me go on the school bus with her because she was frightened of the other kids.”

“Oh my god,” Camila repeats, staring down at the picture with wide eyes, “Lo, you were adorable. I just want to squish your little cheeks. In fact, I’m going to go and build a time machine so I can go back and harass baby you with my cuddles.”

Lauren sighs in defeat, because she knows that her mom isn’t putting the photo album away any time soon. So, she sits down on the couch next to Camila and shrugs. “I wouldn’t let you cuddle me, though. I didn’t like touch even more back then.”

“But- _look at you_!” Camila exclaims. “You were so cute! And you’re such a cuddly dork now. You’re always asking for snuggles.”

Lauren shrugs again and cuddles up to Camila, because now she kind of wants snuggles and Camila had told her that she can hug her whenever she wants. “Yes, but I didn’t like it then. I would never let people touch me, except- um, I would cuddle with my mom on a Saturday morning when we watched _The Lion King_.”

Clara laughs. “You say that like you don’t ask to watch it every Saturday you’re not at Camila’s.”

Lauren blushes, but Camila doesn’t look all that surprised at Clara’s words. “Trust me, the days she’s at my house and I suggest watching a movie, it’s always straight to ‘can we watch _The Lion King?_ ’ I don’t get how you’re not sick of it by now, Lo.”

“It’s one of my special interests,” Lauren shrugs. “I love it, and there’s more than one movie so I can choose which one I want to watch.”

Camila doesn’t reply, because she lets out a loud _aw_ that makes Lauren jump. “Okay, this picture is my favourite by _far_. Look at you, you were so tiny! I bet you were having so much fun at the playpark. Look, you seem so happy to be on the slide.”

Lauren looks down at the picture with a frown. “I’m not- um… I never went down the slides. I just sat on it. Because I could.”

Clara looks between them with a smile. “The slides scared her. Lauren’s afraid of heights.”

 _“Mom_ ,” Lauren sends her mother her best glare. “Stop it. You’re embarrassing me.”

Clara laughs. “I’m your mother. I’m supposed to embarrass you in front of your girlfriend.”

“Well… stop it,” Lauren repeats, tapping on her leg but cracking a smile when Camila wraps her arms around her waist and rests her head on her shoulder. “And- um, Camz, stop encouraging her.”

Camila shakes her head. “Nope. I’ll encourage her as much as I like. I want to see all of your cute baby pictures and hear about all of the embarrassing stories from your childhood. But I didn’t know you’re afraid of heights. You didn’t seem to be when you were dragging me on all of the rollercoasters at Disney.”

“I mean things like- uh, tall buildings. One time I went up the Eiffel Tower when we went on vacation and- um,” Lauren turns bright red, and her last words come out all muttered, “I cried.”

“Cried is an understatement.” Clara says, and Lauren feels her mother squeeze her hand; she doesn’t pull away like she usually would. “She had a little panic attack, but you were fine after, weren’t you?”

“Yes. Once I was down on the ground again.” Lauren says. “I don’t like high places. Heights make me nervous.”

Camila kisses her temple. “Lots of things make you nervous, Lo. Like open doors and loud places.”

“Oh, I hate open doors.” Lauren agrees, playing with her spinner ring. “I don’t know _why_. I just hate it. I guess it just makes me feel too exposed.”

Camila smiles. “You’ll always have me to close the doors behind you.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods and rests her head on Camila’s shoulder. “You’ll be there for me. To make me not nervous. I used to be really nervous around you, but now you’re probably the one person I’m never nervous around, aside from my family and the girls, who I’ve known my whole life.”

Camila grins. “So does that mean you’ll let me look at more of your baby pictures?”

Lauren blushes as Camila pouts and mouths _please_ at her. “Okay then. Only if you promise not to make fun of me.”

“Never could,” Camila says as Clara flips over another page in the photo album. “You were the cutest little baby. Still are, but like… miniature you is even cuter. Like I said, I want to go back in time and cuddle you. Obviously I’d explain that I’m your girlfriend from the future and that we cuddle all the time now, though.”

“I told you, I wouldn’t let you cuddle me.” Lauren says as Camila takes the photo album from Clara and starts looking through it. “I didn’t let people touch me when I was little. But now I- um, now I kind of… I’m okay with it. If I care about you. And if I love you, and I do, I love you lots.”

“Well, let’s pretend that fetus Camila knew fetus Lauren.” Camila says. “And that we cuddle all time as fetuses.”

Lauren smiles. “That would be nice, because- um, when I was really little, before I met Ally, Mani and Dinah, all I really wanted was a friend, and lots of kids were, uh, scared of me. Because I’m different.”

Camila rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder. “You’re the least scary person in the world. You’re the cutest, and baby Camila would’ve forced you to be her friend, whether you liked it or not. She was very passionate about the things she wanted.”

“You would’ve wanted me?” Lauren asks with a frown. “Really?”

“I’d always want you, Lo,” Camila smiles and threads their fingers together. “You’re my soulmate, loser. Got to be best friends with my soulmate.”

Lauren beams and kisses her girlfriend. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Camila assures her, flicking through the photo album and pointing to a picture of seven year old Lauren in a princess costume. “Okay, what’s the backstory to this?”

“That’s her eighth birthday,” Clara says, “and for her party she wanted it to be Disney princess themed. She went as Sleeping Beauty.”

Camila smiles. “Fitting, considering you’re absolutely beautiful.”

“ _Camz_ ,” Lauren blushes and hides her face in her girlfriend’s shoulder. “You’re making my tummy feel weird, stop that.”

“Nope, that means my compliments are working,” Camila replies, lifting Lauren’s head up by her chin to kiss her. “Plus, I love seeing that little embarrassed smile of yours. The one where you scrunch up your nose and look absolutely adorable.”

Almost as if it’s a cue, Lauren does the exact smile that Camila is talking about. “Shut up, Camzi.”

“Never,” Camila says as she flicks over another page in the photo album and looks over at Clara, pointing to a picture where Lauren happens to be doing that exact same smile. “How old was she here?”

Clara looks the picture over. “Around six. She never used to smile much and Mike took this at the perfect moment. Typically after we’d given her some ice cream.”

“Typically,” Camila sends Lauren a pointed look, “she _is_ kind of an ice cream addict. Every time we go to the beach she buys like six cones for herself.”

“I don’t,” Lauren defends herself. “I only buy two, but they’re the triple scoop ones and they’re so good that I need more than one.”

Camila grins and ruffles Lauren’s hair. “I’m only teasing you, nerd. But you might have a bit of an ice cream problem. At least it’s only ice cream though, could be worse. You could be addicted to meth.”

Lauren nearly chokes on her green tea. “I- _Camz_ , I wouldn’t- you’re horrible.”

“You love me,” Camila rolls her eyes and watches as Clara closes the photo album. “Do you have any other albums? I want to see more little Lo.”

“No!” Lauren exclaims before her mom can answer. “We’re going to go upstairs and watch a movie. No more baby pictures. Bye, mom.”

With that, Lauren drags Camila up to her bedroom and makes sure to close the door behind them, turning to send her girlfriend her best glare, because she doesn’t want Camila to look at any embarrassing baby pictures.

Camila sends her a pout. “Damn, Lo. No need to be such a party pooper. Your mom and I were bonding over fetus you. You could’ve let me have my fun.”

“You got to look through one album while I was in the bath.” Lauren points out. “And that’s all you get.”

“You know I’m just messing with you, Lo,” Camila says, “I don’t think the pictures are embarrassing though. I think they’re really cute, and I still stand by my time machine idea for the purpose of squishing your cheeks. Also for the purpose of telling me from nearly a year ago that I needed to be nice as hell to you the second I met you and going through everything I needed to know to be perfect for you.”

“Oh, yes, you’re right, we’ve nearly known each other for a year,” Lauren says, tapping on her leg. “That’s- um, really cool. September 5th, right? That’s the first day we met. And we went on our first date on October 22nd, nearly two months after I met you. So… we’ve nearly been together for a year, too.”

“Yeah,” Camila nods and pulls Lauren in for a kiss. “The best year ever, if you ask me. Other than a few… blips… it’s been absolutely amazing.”

“Blips?” Lauren frowns and grabs Nala, running her fingers along her stuffed animal’s fur. “Are the blips my fault? Have I done some things wrong and not realised?”

“No, Lolo,” Camila promises her, “you’ve been the one perfect thing. The blips are things like… what happened with Sofi. That was a really big one, and you’re obviously not going to be happy when you nearly lose a family member. Especially one you’re so close to.”

“Well, um, the plural implies that there are other things,” Lauren says, bringing some of the things she’d learned in her linguistics class to the front of her mind, “so… can you- uh, tell me what the other things were? So I can fix them for you. If I can.”

Camila lets out a little laugh and kisses Lauren on the top of her head, settling her arms around her waist. Lauren shifts so she’s sat in between Camila’s legs and her head is rested on her girlfriend’s chest, Camila’s fingers weaving through her hair. “I don’t think anyone can fix them. Sofi being one of them, unless we build my time machine.”

Lauren frowns. “Well, um… what are the other things?”

“It’s going to sound so fucking stupid. Honestly, it kind of is.” Camila starts slowly, her fingers tracing over the intricate lines of Lauren’s dragonfly tattoo. “I- uh, kind of miss Marielle and Sandra. Only sort of, though.”

Lauren blinks in confusion and she feels herself tense up. “Those girls? The ones that called me the ‘r’ word?”

“I- uh… kind of,” Camila bites down on her lip and Lauren starts to relax because her girlfriend is rubbing circles on her belly, and Lauren loves it when people do that. “It’s hard to explain. I miss _parts_ of them, but not all of them. I miss Marielle’s advice and how supportive she was with most things I’d talk to her about. I miss Sandra’s jokes. But I don’t miss how they were awful to anyone they thought lesser of. I don’t miss how they thought lesser of anyone in general. I only miss parts of them. Definitely not the parts of them that… I’d never contact them again after what they called you, but they were my best friends since _birth_ , basically. I guess I just miss their presence and their good qualities in a way.”

“But…” Lauren searches for the right words and squirms a little when Camila stops rubbing her belly, making her girlfriend start again, “you have me, Mani, Ally and Dinah for support. Especially me, I’m your rock. And you have Ally and Mani for advice, they’re really good at that. And you have Dinah to tell you jokes and mess around with. Other people have their good qualities without all the bad stuff.”

Lauren feels Camila kiss the top of her head again. “Yeah. You’re absolutely right. It’s still kind of weird knowing that they’re gone from my life forever – at least until they apologise for everything they’ve done – but you’re right. I have everything I need and more with you guys. Especially you.”

Lauren smiles and turns around to kiss her girlfriend properly. “I’m always right. I have-”

“A 5.0 GPA,” Camila finishes for her with a laugh. “Really? You hadn’t mentioned it.”

Lauren blushes and settles down again. “I won’t say it if you’re going to make fun of me.”

“I’m not making fun of you.” Camila says, dotting kisses on her cheek. “I think it’s absolutely adorable and I’m glad you’re so proud of it. I have a 4.2 now, thanks to you. And Dinah, but I’d never admit that to the weird ass math genius.”

Lauren smiles. “What was your GPA before you met me?”

“Uh,” Camila pauses to think. “A 3.6, I think. Something like that. This is probably why my mom loves you so much, because you’re obviously the best influence in the world. Usually when you start dating someone your GPA goes _down_ because of distractions. But not with you, because I have the most perfect girlfriend in the world.”

“Well, I can’t distract you from your school work, school is important if you want to go to college,” Lauren points out. “Ally graduated with a 4.3 because I helped her with her science. I’m glad Ally isn’t going far away for college, I’d miss her lots. I love Allycat.”

Camila laughs. “Allycat and Manibear. What’s Dinah’s animal name, huh? And mine, now that I think about it. Because obviously you’re Lolo lion. You can’t leave me and Dinah out.”

Lauren bites down on her lip in thought. “I don’t- uh… I can’t think of one. But I’ll try to. Sometimes I call Dinah, uh, Dinah dime. Because that’s her Snapchat name. But dimes aren’t animals. And you’re- you’re just Camz. Or Camzi. I don’t have any other nicknames for you. Would you rather I made an animal nickname for you?”

“No, I’d take Camz any day,” Camila promises her, “I just think it’s interesting how you come up with them. Because obviously it’s not to do with alliteration a lot of the time, since Allycat and Manibear aren’t exactly alliterative.”

“It’s mostly what- uh, sounds good.” Lauren shrugs. “Like… Camila... or, uh, Karla something. I don’t know.”

“Don’t stress yourself out about it, Lo,” Camila laughs, “it’s fine. I was just interested in your thought process. I love hearing about the way you come up with things or perceive things. It’s really interesting.”

Lauren rubs Nala against her cheek and shrugs. “Your thoughts are interesting too. I like knowing how neurotypicals think. Or allistic people, I don’t know if you’re… but I’m pretty sure you _are_ …”

Camila raises her eyebrows. “If I’m what?”

“If you’re neurotypical,” Lauren says, “because I know you’re allistic, since you don’t have autism or Asperger’s. But… you’ve never mentioned being not neurotypical and I don’t want to assume things…”

“I don’t know. I guess I am,” Camila says, her hands stilling around Lauren’s waist. “I had really bad anxiety for… a while. But I think that’s all… cleared up? I used to be constantly anxious and I overthought literally _everything_. It was awful. But it’s definitely not on the level it was, if it’s even still here at all. Sometimes I worry that maybe I still have it and I don’t even realise, because I always- my mind constantly jumps to the worst case scenarios for _everything_. But then it doesn’t _seem_ odd until I mention some of the things I think about to people and they give me this _look_ …”

Lauren blinks at her. “Have you ever had a panic attack?”

“Not recently,” Camila quickly replies. “Not within the last year. The last one was when my parents told me we were moving. Even though I was happy about it because I’d be getting away from that girl I told you about, it was still terrifying because it’s like… it’s a completely new place and the people could hate me and there were so many awful possibilities.”

“Oh,” Lauren frowns and fiddles with Camila’s fingers. “So… you think it’s gone now?”

“Hopefully,” Camila lets out a sigh. “Honestly, I don’t know, Lo. I wish there was some kind of scanner that someone could point at me just for peace of mind. I just worry that I’ve gotten so used to it that I think I’m okay and then I’m actually not. I’m just glad that you- you kind of get it, you know? I asked you what sensory overload is like and it sounds kind of like a panic attack.”

Lauren hums. “Well… if you ever need to talk about anything, you can always call me. Or text me.”

“I know.” Camila nods. “You’re always there. I know.”

Lauren shuffles and tries her best to maintain eye contact with Camila as she talks. “I think… it’s probably not gone. From what I saw when Sofi was hurt, and from… uh, how you were at Disney, on the rides. Like… you always thought we were going to crash, and when we went on Space Mountain and it stopped for a little, you started talking about how the other car was going to set off and ram into the back of us.”

While Camila’s usually appreciative of Lauren’s bluntness and honesty, this time it’s not exactly making her feel better. “Uh… yeah. Let’s talk about something else. Like… you. Or puppies. Well, same thing, really. But still.”

Lauren frowns. “How is it the same thing?”

“Because you’re both adorable.” Camila says, her usual teasing tone faltering a little, but Lauren doesn’t notice. “Let’s watch _The Lion King_ , yeah? That’ll be fun.”

“Oh, okay then,” Lauren turns around and grabs her laptop from the floor by her bed, switching it on and opening up her Netflix. “I thought you said we watched this too much?”

Camila bites down on her lip and shrugs. “Yeah, well, it makes you happy and seeing you happy is my favourite activity. Therefore, we should watch _The Lion King_.”

“Lots of things make me happy.” Lauren says. “Not just _The Lion King._ We can do other things, if you’d like.”

“No. Let’s just watch this and not… talk about other things.” Camila replies. “You can tell me little factoids about the movie, if you want.”

“But… I’ve already told you everything I know.” Lauren frowns at her. “You’re acting odd. Is it because we were talking about your anxiety? Do you not like talking about it?”

“Not really, no,” Camila quickly replies, reaching around Lauren and pressing play on the movie, hoping to god it’ll take her girlfriend’s attention like it usually does. “Look. Lions.”

Lauren pauses the movie and shuffles around, squeezing Camila’s hand. “It’s okay if it’s not gone. We can- uh, we’ll work through that kind of thing together. And I’m not exactly going to judge you for not being neurotypical… because I’m not either.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip. “Can you drop it, Lo?”

“Well… no,” Lauren shakes her head, “not if it’s something that’s going to affect you. Not if it’s something important.”

“ _Lauren_ ,” Camila lets out a long breath and contains the anger she feels in the pit of her stomach, because she’s not going to take her feelings out on her girlfriend. She’s better than that, and Lauren is trying her best to help. “Drop it. Please.”

Lauren taps on her leg. “Why?”

“Because I asked you to.” Camila answers. “The more we talk about it, the more I worry about it, and avoiding things seems to have worked up until now.”

“Just- um, answer me one thing.” Lauren says. “How old were you? When you were diagnosed, I mean.”

“It was just after we’d immigrated here.” Camila replies. “Moving was so stressful on my whole family and my dad stayed behind and it wasn’t certain that I’d ever see him again. It was so hard to have my family just split into two, and it was hard for my mom to find work at first and I was so homesick. While I’m so fucking happy we moved here, it’s still… it’s what caused it. But like I said before, I think it’s gone now. So we’re fine. It’s all fine.”

Lauren frowns. “But-”

“I answered your question.” Camila calmly interrupts. “Now let’s drop it and watch the movie.”

Lauren looks at her for a moment, and shuffles forwards to kiss Camila on the tip of her nose. “I love you.”

“I know,” Camila pulls Lauren closer to her and presses play on the movie. “I love you too. So fucking much.”

“I- um, I don’t mean to annoy you.” Lauren says, rubbing her hand along her leg. “I just wanted to help. I’m sorry.”

“No, baby, you don’t ever annoy me.” Camila promises her. “Don’t apologise for anything. I know that you mean well and I appreciate that so much. But if I don’t want to talk about something and ask you to drop it, I need you to do that for me. Okay?”

“Are you mad?” Lauren frowns. “I can’t tell if you’re mad.”

“I’m never mad. Not at you.” Camila assures her, brushing her fingers through Lauren’s messy hair. “It was my fault for even telling you about it. Only my parents know and it’s not even- it’s _gone_. So… we don’t need to talk about it.”

Lauren stares at her for a moment before nodding. “Alright then. We don’t need to talk about it. Anyway, I am going to play the movie now. Thank you for explaining that you’re not mad.”

“It’s okay, babe,” Camila squeezes Lauren around her midriff. “Anyway, tell me some facts about this opening scene.”

As Lauren rambles on about the cinematography and the animation, Camila tries to keep her mind off Lauren’s words from before. _I think it’s probably not gone_. No. Lauren can’t be right, because nobody could know that for certain other than Camila. And Camila is fine.

She has to be.


	41. Chapter 41

“Hey, Lo.”

Lauren smiles as she kicks her shoes off and runs her fingers over Nala’s fur. “Hi, Lucy.”

Lucy fist bumps her, their usual greeting, and then takes hold of her hand, and Lauren doesn’t feel weird about it, because Camila had said it was okay on her birthday. “Do you want to watch _The Lion King_? I know it’s one of your special interests so I thought I should put it on the movie schedule for today. We’re watching _Star Wars: A New Hope_ first though, because that movie is one of my favourites.”

“Okay then,” Lauren nods as Lucy leads her upstairs. “We can watch _The Lion King_ and maybe something else that we both like after.”

Lucy smiles and once Lauren is sat down on her bed, cuddles up to her. “Is this okay? Will your Camila be mad if I cuddle you?”

“No, she knows we’re soulmates and she doesn’t get jealous anymore, because she’s my romantic soulmate.” Lauren explains, cuddling up to Lucy because it’s rare that her friend wants to cuddle, and Lauren loves cuddles. “She understands. She likes you, I think.”

Lucy hums in thought. “Vero thinks she’s nice. Also, she was really talkative to me on your birthday, at your meal. I’m glad your girlfriend likes me, I don’t want her to be jealous of me, because I love Vero, but I love you different.”

Lauren nods and strokes her fingers along Nala’s fur. “Yeah. Camz used to be jealous of you, but she’s not anymore. I think she thought I had a crush on you, and she was jealous because you were my first kiss.”

Lucy plays with Lauren’s fingers and uses her free hand to press play on the movie. “That’s funny.”

“I did have a crush on you at one point.” Lauren comments. “When- um, I met you at art class. Because you and I are the same and, uh… it made me happy. But then I saw how you were with Vero and backed off.”

“You liked me?” Lucy frowns, and then shrugs. “Maybe in a different universe we’re dating. That’d be interesting.”

Lauren hums. “Maybe in a different universe, because I think those exist. But I’m quite happy with this universe.”

“Anyway, how are things? With you and Camila, I mean.” Lucy asks. “I know you love her lots. How was Disney?”

“Disney was the best!” Lauren exclaims. “She went on all the big rides with me! And she took me to dinner almost every night, but I took her to dinner one night. And, uh… we made love.”

Lucy beams. “Was it okay? I know you were scared about it."

“It was amazing.” Lauren says with a smile. “She was so lovely and- um, made me feel really good. Also she cuddled me after and I feel- um, I am glad that I was intimate with her.”

“I’m glad you’re happy about it.” Lucy says. “I remember when Vero and I did that for the first time, she was so supportive and she helped me through it. Did your Camila do that for you?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “she- um, did it to me first. And it helped because I knew what to do after. I also- um, did the reading you told me to. On those websites you linked me, and it told me how to make Camz feel good, because I wasn’t sure if I’d be good at it, but she said that I was.”

Lucy smiles. “You two are really cute. I think you should invite Camila over some time. Maybe I’ll invite Vero too, but she’s really busy lately because she got a part time job so I can’t see her on weekends much anymore.”

“Didn’t that mess with your routine?” Lauren asks with a frown. “You should’ve told her to only get the job for one day of the weekend, I know you two always hung out on Saturdays.”

“It did but I wasn’t mad at her, because I love her. It’s not as bad now because we’re still in summer, but when school starts I won’t get to see her lots.” Lucy says. “And she really needs to money from the job to save up for a car. And then she’s going to quit and we’re going to go on a road trip.”

Lauren hums. “If Camz got a job on the weekends I’d be sad, because we always have at least one sleepover a weekend and I love waking up next to her on a morning. I am glad that I have Camz.”

“You should invite her over,” Lucy says. “I haven’t really met her _properly_ when she likes me, because before she didn’t and I don’t know why she likes me now.”

“It’s because she knows you’re not going to- um, be _a threat to our relationship_.” Lauren says, quoting what Camila had said. “She used to be jealous of you, like I said. And I think she thought that maybe we did romantic things without her knowing or without us realising. Like the holding hands thing.”

Lucy frowns. “But Vero is okay with that, why wasn’t Camila?”

“Well… I think it’s because Vero gets it since she has other friends who are autistic or have Asperger’s. Camila had never met anyone like us before.” Lauren says. “And before we started dating she messed up a lot, but I told you about that when it happened. When she called me a bad word.”

Lucy hums. “I didn’t think I’d like her because of that, because you’re my best friend and I didn’t- um, it made me mad. To hear that someone called you a bad thing. But I see how she is with you now and she makes you so happy so… I like her.”

“Yes.” Lauren smiles. “She really likes me and that makes me so happy, because- um, I was kind of scared at first that maybe she was just pretending because she wanted something. Like… to hurt me. Like how that Luis boy…”

Lucy moves up and snuggles against her. “Don’t think about that, Lo. He was horrible and everything he said was a lie. Okay?”

“Okay. Yes. Because I’m not-” Lauren cuts herself off and shakes her head. “I am good. We’re- autism isn’t bad.”

“Yeah!” Lucy smiles and hums to herself. “I think we should have a pride day for autism and Asperger’s and we can invite all of our friends and do something fun.”

“That would be- I really want- yes!” Lauren struggles to get the words out and pulls her phone out, texting Camila about the news.

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (3:12PM): Camz! Lucy says we should have a pride day for autism and I want you to be there, will you please be there?_ ** **

****_Camz (3:13PM): sure baby, r u still with lucy now?_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui (3:13PM): Yes, we’re cuddling and watching Star Wars because it’s one of her favourite movies and we’re going to have pizza for dinner. :) What are you doing?_ ** **

****_Camz (3:14PM): im w/ mani we’re watching tv and maybe im talking about u a bit too much also im giving norminah that promo_ ** **

Lucy frowns. “What’s Norminah?”

“You know Normani and Dinah? Well, Dinah likes Normani but I promised her I wouldn’t tell Mani, and Camz knows about it too and we’re trying to get them together.” Lauren explains. “We think Mani likes her too, and I’ve been talking to Dinah and trying to get her to ask Mani out, but it doesn’t really work because Dinah’s too scared.”

“She should just ask her out anyway,” Lucy says, “because if she likes her then she might as well try, and if Normani doesn’t feel the same if she’s really a good friend it wouldn’t change anything.”

“I will tell her you said that.” Lauren replies. “Because I want my friends to be happy. You can help me and Camz get them together if we invite them to our autism pride day.”

“Okay, I will,” Lucy nods. “It’ll be fun, I’ve never made a couple get together before.”

“Neither have I,” Lauren says, “well, aside from the couple I’m part of because I asked Camz on a date and she said yes. But you- you asked someone out before Vero, right?”

“Yes, a boy in my class, but he said no.” Lucy replies. “But Vero said yes and I love her so that’s what matters. Would you really have asked me out if I didn’t already have a girlfriend?”

“No, probably not, I would’ve been too scared. Like- um, Keana was single when I liked her and I didn’t know she was straight until she got a boyfriend last year.” Lauren voices her train of thought. “But maybe, because I had enough courage to ask Camz out. But that was only after Dinah and Mani told me I should.”

Lucy squeezes her around the waist. “I like cuddling with you, Lo. We never cuddle.”

“Yes, that’s because you don’t like cuddles.” Lauren points out. “I was really confused when you started hugging me.”

Lucy shrugs. “You’re soft. I like soft.”

“I’m soft?” Lauren frowns and taps on her leg with her free hand. “Okay then. When are we ordering pizza?”

“At five, that’s when I usually have dinner. And then we’re going to watch another movie and then… your mom is picking you up at eight, because I need to have my bath at nine.” Lucy says, nuzzling closer to her. “You’re my best friend, Lo. Keana and I had a fight.”

“Oh,” Lauren’s eyes widen in realisation, “is that why you’re cuddling me? Because you’re sad that you and Keana fought?”

“Yes,” Lucy nods into her chest and Lauren hears her friend sniffle. “She was upset because she broke up with her boyfriend and I _tried_ to comfort her, but she shouted at me and told me that I’m useless.”

“No, Luce, you’re not useless.” Lauren is quick to tell her. “You have lots of uses. Like- um, you’re a really good cuddler even if you don’t like it much. And you always make me happy and let me talk about my feelings and- um, things I worry about that I can’t talk to Camila about because she wouldn’t get it.”

Lucy buries her face in Lauren’s neck, and Lauren knows she’s crying. “Do you ever wish you were allistic, Lo?”

“I used to,” Lauren admits, “but not anymore. Because autism is a part of me and it makes up a lot of my personality, and my personality is pretty great. I like being me. And I like you for you, you’re my soulmate and you wouldn’t be if you weren’t like you are now.”

Lucy doesn’t respond, and instead snuggles further into Lauren. Lauren doesn’t mind it and starts playing with her friend’s hair, finding that it’s really soft and lovely to stim with.

“Lucy?” Lauren prompts after her friend stays silently crying into her neck. “I love you, Luce. Don’t cry. Keana just committed a _crime of passion_ , like Camz did when she called me a bad word. She’ll apologise and you’ll both move on from it, your friendship will be back to normal. I promise.”

“Okay,” Lucy murmurs and pulls away, wiping at her eyes, “I trust you. Because you’re smart.”

“Yes, I’m very smart, I have a 5.0 GPA,” Lauren says with a proud smile. “And I know you and Keana are really close friends and she probably feels really bad about shouting.”

“I don’t want her to think-” Lucy pauses and coughs, wiping at her eyes again, “I don’t want her to think I’m useless though, Lo. I was just trying to make her feel better.”

“I know,” Lauren says, “I can talk to Alexa and see if Keana has said anything to her, if you want. She probably has and I bet she feels really bad.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Lucy nods and wraps her arms around Lauren again. “You’re the best friend ever, Lo. I don’t want us to ever fight.”

“We won’t, we’re soulmates, duh,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “Soulmates don’t fight. Like how Camz and I don’t fight. My Camzi is so wonderful like that, she’s always so supportive. I remember I was really jealous of how you and Vero were even though Vero is allistic, and I really wanted that. Now I have it.”

“What’s the word Dinah used at your birthday dinner?” Lucy frowns, before her eyes widen in realisation. “Oh, yes. I _ship_ Camren. Because you and Camila are cute.”

Lauren beams. “Yeah, we are. Also, I will talk to Keana about our autistic pride day for you, and she can apologise to you. If you haven’t already made up by then.”

“Thanks,” Lucy says again, “you’re the best. Um- I want to watch _The Lion King_ now. Because you’re being really supportive and I want to watch it to make you happy.”

“Yes, okay!” Lauren exclaims, bouncing as best she can with Lucy’s weight on her. “I love _The Lion King_. I will tell you all about the show I went to with Camz at Disney, and she took me to it more than once because she said she liked the way it made me smile. She says we can go there on our honeymoon and I’d like to see the show if it’s still there.”

Lucy picks at a loose thread on Lauren’s sweater. “Um, when you and Camila get married, can I be a bridesmaid? I’ve never been a bridesmaid before, but I really want to. Can I?”

Lauren beams. “You can be the, um, _maid of honour_. For me. That means you get to plan all of the bridesmaid activities and I know you love planning things like me.”

Lucy grins and squeezes Lauren tightly. “Yes please. I would love to do that. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Lauren smiles. “I think Camz will pick Dinah as her maid of honour. Probably, since they’re best friends, but I don’t think that Camila thinks so far ahead. She just decides that the actual event will happen but doesn’t plan it in advance.”

Lucy frowns. “Why wouldn’t you plan it in advance, though? It’s nice to know the schedule to that the activities aren’t going to be unexpected.”

“I guess allistic people are just like that,” Lauren shrugs, “I don’t know, but you can help me and Camz plan things, because I bet if Dinah is her maid of honour, they won’t get anything done because they’re both easily distracted.”

“Will you help me plan mine and Vero’s wedding though?” Lucy asks. “Because Vero is like that too, she doesn’t- um, like to plan things. She… _wings_ it. I don’t like _winging_ it.”

“Okay, I will be your maid of honour too,” Lauren promises, “and I’ll help you plan everything, I’m really good at that, I planned my whole trip to Disney with Camz.”

Lucy nods. “Okay then, we will organise them both. And it’ll be fun.”

“Yes,” Lauren replies, turning her attention to the TV when _The Lion King_ starts playing, “also, we should plan our autistic pride day. Are we having it at your house or mine?”

“Your house, you have a pool so we could have a pool party,” Lucy suggests, and Lauren hums in thought because she isn’t sure how she feels about that, since she’s not very good at swimming. “Also your parents are really cool, I like them. Your dad is really funny.”

Lauren frowns. “My dad isn’t that funny. He mostly just makes Camila jokes. Or Camila makes dad jokes. I laugh at Camz’s jokes though, because I love her and I like making her smile when I laugh at her jokes. But my dad’s jokes aren’t very funny.”

“I like his jokes,” Lucy says, “they’re not- um, figurative. So I can understand them.”

As Lucy continues to ramble about how she thinks that Lauren’s dad is funny, Lauren tunes her out to watch _The Lion King_ , still rubbing comforting circles on her friend’s back.

-

“You should think about it.”

Normani narrows her eyes. “Mila, I don’t know why you’re so enthusiastic about me hanging out with Dinah tomorrow, but I’m pretty sure she’s busy babysitting her siblings.”

“No, she isn’t, I already asked her,” Camila says, cringing when Normani frowns even more. “I, uh, was going to hang out with her, but then I remembered I’d already made plans with Lauren.”

“That’s not like you,” Normani points out, “to forget plans with Lauren, I mean. Considering you wouldn’t shut up about her ten minutes ago.”

“Yeah, I just had a lot of things on my mind I guess, and we’d made the plans a little while ago.” Camila quickly lies. “So naturally when I thought I wasn’t doing anything tomorrow night, I decided to text Dinah and see what she was up to, but then I had to cancel when I realised I’m spending time with Lauren.”

“So you want me to be like… your substitute?” Normani doesn’t look like she believes her at all. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Camila nods, “totally. I’d feel bad if Dinah was bored on Saturday night because of me.”

If anything, her excuse makes Normani a lot more sceptical. “What do you know?”

Camila blinks in confusion. “What do you mean? I don’t know anything. I’m like, _queen_ of oblivious. I never notice anything, like, I didn’t even realise that _Lauren_ , the least subtle human being on the planet, had a crush on me. Why would I be knowing things?”

“You almost suck as much as Lauren does at lying, Mila,” Normani tells her, “but I don’t know what you know. So go on, spill.”

“Spill _what_?” Camila continues with her oblivious act. “I don’t know anything. Like I said, I’m totally oblivious to the world.”

Normani lets out a long sigh. “How do you know, Mila? I haven’t told anyone.”

“Told anyone _what_?” Camila asks, this time genuinely confused. “Mani, I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Normani scoffs. “Come _on_ , Mila. How long have you known I like Dinah?”

Camila’s jaw nearly hits the _floor_ at that confession, and she lets out a quick _I have to go_ _pee_ , and sprints into the bathroom, pulling her phone out of her pocket and calling Lauren.

“ _Hi, Camzi_ ,” Lauren says, “ _Lucy is going to be my maid of honour, isn’t that cool?”_

“Lauren,” Camila gets out, more out of breath than she’d like to admit from her sprint to the bathroom. “Normani likes Dinah. Norminah is ready to leave the fucking dock.”

Lauren pauses for a moment. “ _Really?”_

“Yeah, she said it. I think she thought I already knew,” Camila says, “so… I think I should probably tell her that Dinah likes her back, right?”

 _“No!”_ Lauren exclaims. “ _Dinah told me not to tell, I promised I wouldn’t and I can’t- she won’t trust me anymore.”_

“You’re not the one telling her, Lo,” Camila points out, “and if she’s mad, I’ll take the fall. Promise. But I highly doubt she will be mad, because Mani likes her back.”

 _“Okay then_ ,” Lauren pauses to hum to herself, “ _Lucy says hi, by the way.”_

“Tell her I said hi back,” Camila replies, hearing Lauren relay her message back to Lucy. “Anyway, I have to go. I made kind of a quick exit and I should probably go explain myself.”

 _“Okay,”_ Lauren says, _“I love you.”_

“I love you too,” Camila replies, kind of wishing she could jump through the phone and give Lauren a quick kiss. “Talk to you later.”

After Lauren says goodbye, Camila hangs up and stuffs her phone in her pocket. Then, she unlocks the bathroom door, lets out the breath she didn’t know she was holding, and heads back to Normani’s room, sending her friend an awkward smile as she sits back down.

“So…” Normani stares at her for a moment, “you really didn’t know?”

“No,” Camila shakes her head, “I mean, you flirt with her sometimes but I always kind of figured it was a joke. Friend flirting, you know?”

“Then why were you acting so weird?” Normani asks. “Like you knew something.”

“Oh, well, uh,” Camila lets out an awkward laugh and shrugs. “I’ve kind of… known that _Dinah_ likes _you_ for about two months. Lauren let it slip over text because Dinah had only told her that she wasn’t allowed to tell you. Apparently anyone else is fair game. I wouldn’t be surprised if Ally knows by now, too.”

“No, Ally doesn’t know. She knows that I like Dinah, not the other way around,” Normani says, “but are you serious? Does Dinah really like me?”

“Yeah,” Camila nods, “I mean, have you seen the way she looks at you? Also, I figured you’d have caught on since Lauren and I haven’t really been very subtle with our whole _‘get you together’_ plan.”

Normani raises an eyebrow. “I figured you two were just being weird. Inside jokes or something.”

“I mean, a lot of the time we were teasing Dinah,” Camila says, “we actually have a ‘Camrenah’ group chat where we basically just gossiped about Operation Norminah while Dinah kept leaving the chat and we had to keep re-adding her.”

Normani lets out a small _huh_ in surprise, eventually nodding. “Okay then. I guess I’m hanging out with Dinah tomorrow night.”

“Good,” Camila grins and pulls out her phone. “Just got to let Lauren know that I was successful and tell Dinah she has a date tomorrow.”

****_Camz (4:07PM): lo!!! operation norminah was a success!!! we’re such good captains_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:07PM): Good :) We are captains of Vercy now too even though they’re together because Lucy says she ships us._ ** **

****_Camz (4:08PM): im not gonna deny a captain title when it’s offered_ ** **

Once Lauren reads her message but doesn’t reply, Camila decides she’s going to call Dinah and puts it on speaker. “Hey, Cheechee.”

“ _Chancho_ ,” Dinah greets her, “ _what’s up_?”

“You have a date tomorrow night,” Camila exchanges a grin with Normani, “thanks to the captains of Norminah.”

 _“What the hell did you two idiots do now?”_ Camila hears the panic in Dinah’s voice. _“You didn’t tell her I like her, did you_?”

“Yep,” Camila casually replies, “but only after Mani admitted she likes you back. You’re welcome. You have a date _with Mani_ tomorrow night.”

There’s silence on the line for a moment, and when Dinah lets out an excited squeal, Camila can’t help but laugh. _“I love you, Walz. And tell Lauser I fucking love her too.”_

“Oh, yeah, by the way, I’m not with Lauren right now. I’m actually hanging with Mani,” Camila says, “and you’re on speaker. Probably should’ve mentioned that beforehand.”

 _“I don’t even care_ ,” Dinah replies, “ _I’m guessing you’re listening then, Mani_.”

“Yeah,” Normani says, taking the phone from Camila, “I am. I would say we’d talk date plans, but I think it’d be a little rude of me to ditch Mila.”

“Oh, no, trust me,” Camila stands up, “I’ll go right now if it means my ship will sail. But I’m going to need my phone back. I might go visit Ally next and use my matchmaking skills on her.”

Dinah snorts. _“Pretty sure Tweedledum needs to accompany Tweedledumber when it comes to matchmaking.”_

“Hey, rude, I just got you a date,” Camila lets out a scoff in offence, “and why am I Tweedledumber?”

“ _Because you don’t have a 5.0 GPA, do you?”_ Dinah says, and Camila kind of fails to hold back her laugh. “ _Call me when you do.”_

Camila rolls her eyes. “I’ll prove my skill when I set Ally up with like… Zac Efron or something. You’ll see.”

 _“Mani, lock her in the closet until her little partner in crime can pick her up_.” Dinah advises. “ _Because Ally would be way too sweet to tell her to fuck off and stop trying to be a knockoff cupid.”_

Normani laughs. “I don’t think that’s fair. Mila spent like two thirds of her life in the closet. Maybe she should go in the basement instead to give her some variation.”

Camila pouts. “You two are mean. No wonder you’re meant for each other. But I’m going to head home and spend some time with my little sister instead, because she isn’t going to insult me like this.”

“Sofi can be pretty savage when she wants to be.” Normani points out. “You told me what she was like when Mahone went to your house that time. And Shawn mentioned that she was all defensive when she first met him.”

“Yes, but Sofi loves me,” Camila rolls her eyes, “and I’ll just give her candy to butter her up. Either that or promise her that ‘Lamp’ will come over.”

Normani hands Camila back her phone. “I guess we were too mean to _Tweedledumber_. She looks like she’s about to make a dramatic exit.”

Dinah laughs. _“Please tell me if she does a hair flip. Remember the time when she tried to make a dramatic exit, flipped her hair and then hit herself in the face?”_

Camila turns bright red. “Alright, China’s cancelled. Bye.”

Before Dinah can protest, Camila hangs up on her and stuffs her phone in her pocket with a triumphant smile. Normani just rolls her eyes. “Are you really going home?”

“I figured I should, since you and Dinah have less than twenty-four hours to plan your date.” Camila points out. “Either that or I’ll go and harass Ally, like I said. She’s too single for my liking.”

Normani laughs. “Ally likes being single. Besides, she starts college in a month, she’ll find someone there. Even though I did hear Will’s going to the University of Miami too.”

Camila smirks. “Well, I guess Lauren and I have a new ship to captain. I’ll send Lauren in first to do all of the information collecting, people trust her because she’s cute as hell.”

“Why don’t you go and see her?” Normani asks. “She’s not doing anything, right?”

“She’s with Lucy. They’re having a movie day and I’m picking her up at eight.” Camila says. “So I have four hours to kill before that. I’ll probably take Sofi out like I said. Have fun date planning.”

Normani pulls her in for a hug. “Have fun finding more people to hook up.”

“Oh, I will,” Camila sends her a grin as she heads out of the door, saying goodbye to Normani’s mom before she gets into her car and sends another text to Lauren.

****_Camz (4:23PM): they’re going on a date tomorrow pls do what mani did for u and help her get ready i want the gossip pre and post date_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:23PM): Lauren is in the bathroom but I’ll tell her for you :)_ ** **

****_Camz (4:23PM): okay thx lucy also tell her i’ll be there to pick her up at eight_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:24PM): I will_ ** **

Then, Camila puts her phone in her pocket and heads home, happy that things are going well for her friends.


	42. Chapter 42

When Lauren hears her phone ring, she nearly falls out of bed, because she hadn’t been expecting that. She reaches out and grabs her phone, taking note of the time, 3:26AM, but she’s a little more focused on the fact that Camila is calling her.

She taps on the green icon to answer the call and clears her throat. “Hi, Camz. It’s- um, it’s 3AM.”

 _“Lolo_ ,” Camila’s voice is shaky and Lauren frowns, “ _I need you.”_

“Oh, okay,” Lauren sits up and rubs at her eyes, trying to wake herself up. “What’s wrong? Can you not sleep?”

“ _I just-_ ” Camila cuts herself off with a sharp intake of breath and Lauren frowns, “ _please, Lo_. _Just talk to me. Please.”_

“I will come to your house.” Lauren decides, because Camila sounds upset, and it sucks to be alone when you’re upset. “I will be fifteen minutes, I will take my mom’s car, and um- use the Bluetooth thing to stay on the phone with you.”

 _“You don’t- it’s late, I shouldn’t have even called_ ,” Camila gets out between quick bursts of breath, _“I’m so sorry.”_

“It’s okay. I meant it when I said you could call me if you need me.” Lauren says, pulling on some sweats and a hoodie, grabbing Nala and carefully making her way downstairs, trying her best not to step on any creaky floorboards. “What’s wrong?”

 _“I think- I woke up from this horrible dream and-”_ Camila chokes back a sob, “ _I can’t breathe.”_

“Camz…” Lauren grabs her mom’s car keys from where she knows she keeps them, slips on her Converse and heads outside to the car. “I promise I’ll be quick, but- um… try not to think about it? I know that’s the dumbest advice ever. Um… tell me about what music you’ve written lately.”

 _“I, uh_ ,” Camila sniffles, “ _I wrote a little thing- uh, about you. It’s- it’s more of a- a poem. But with guitar.”_

“I would like to hear it sometime. Maybe you can teach me the chords and I’ll play piano for it.” Lauren suggests, putting her phone on speaker and setting off to Camila’s. “That’d be nice. Now, uh, I need you to stay as calm as you can when I ask you this, but what was your dream about?”

“ _It- oh, I can’t-”_ Camila cuts herself off with a sob and Lauren feels her heart break, because she hates hearing her girlfriend cry. “ _I need you_.”

“I’m on my way.” Lauren promises her. “And I’m going as quick as I can, baby. But I’ll still be a little while and I know it sucks. Can you maybe wake one of your parents up? They could- um, help you.”

“ _They both have work tomorrow and I don’t want to- they’d worry about me_.” Camila says. “ _And they’d take me to the doctor’s about this and they’d stress about it too much and I don’t want to worry them, Lo. Please don’t tell them.”_

“I won’t.” Lauren replies. “Not if you don’t want me to.”

 _“How far are you_?” Camila asks, her voice trembling, “ _I went downstairs. The door’s unlocked and I’m just- in the lounge.”_

“I’m- um… about ten minutes away.” Lauren estimates. “But I’m going quickly. Like… over the speed limit quickly.”

 _“No!”_ Camila practically shouts through the phone. “ _Slow down. God, please slow down. I don’t want you to crash.”_

Lauren does as her girlfriend says. “Okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

 _“It’s okay. But be careful.”_ Camila says. “ _I need you here. With me. Alive. Not in a fatal car crash that’s my fault because I called you.”_

“It wouldn’t be your fault, though. I’d be my own for speeding.” Lauren replies, tapping on the steering wheel. “But- um, if I get a ticket, I’m making you pay for it.”

Camila actually laughs at Lauren’s words, but the older girl doesn’t get why, because she isn’t exactly joking. _“Okay. That’s fair.”_

“I’m nearly there, I promise.” Lauren says, looking forward to giving Camila the best hug she can give. “Then we can talk about why you’re so upset.”

“ _I’m upset because- of a dream_ ,” Camila stutters a little and Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, “ _about you.”_

“About me?” Lauren frowns. “Did I call you a bad word?”

“ _No, it- um, it wasn’t like that_ ,” Camila sniffles and Lauren breathes out a sigh of relief when she turns onto Camila’s road and parks outside her girlfriend’s house.

She grabs her phone and takes it off speaker, running up the Cabello’s driveway and through the front door, into the lounge and practically throwing herself on her girlfriend. She wraps her arms around Camila and squeezes her tightly, dotting kisses on her cheek, her forehead and her temple before finally landing on her lips.

“Hi,” Lauren pulls away and makes sure to make eye contact with Camila, her heart breaking when she sees how puffy and red her girlfriend’s eyes are, and how their usual happiness is nowhere to be seen. “I’m here.”

Camila buries her face in Lauren’s shoulder and sniffles. “Thank you for coming, Lolo. You’re so- you’re so good to me.”

“What was your dream about?” Lauren asks. “I- um, did I die in your dream? Is that why you were so worried about me driving?”

“No.” Camila shakes her head. “It was the _worst_ , Lo. Like, you dying would be awful, but this was even worse. It was like… I was kind of a spectator. To us. We were alone, but it wasn’t like how we actually are. I know it wasn’t real and it’s stupid of me to get worked up about it but I just- it made me feel so guilty, baby.”

“Guilty?” Lauren frowns and taps on her leg. “Why would you be guilty? And what do you mean you were a spectator? I don’t get it.”

“I was…” Camila chokes back another sob and wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist. “I was hurting you. But then I was watching myself hurt you, and- I was saying things. It was kind of like how I used to be, not really understanding your autism and what you need. But I was doing it on purpose. And I couldn’t do anything to stop myself, because it was like I was this invisible spectator that nobody could see or hear. And the worst part is, the dream was like… set over time. Like… even though I hurt you, you didn’t leave me.”

Lauren frowns. “Well, that’s stupid, because if someone is really ableist on purpose then I cut them out of my life, so your dream wasn’t very realistic.”

Camila lets out a laugh, albeit a weak one. “Yeah. Not realistic.”

“Also, you’d never hurt me, so it was quite a dumb dream.” Lauren continues. “But whatever. It still upset you, and I’m still going to comfort you. Do you have a special movie you like to watch when you’re sad?”

Camila shakes her head and wipes at her eyes. “No. I don’t.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Do you have a special blanket or cuddly toy? I know that you have Fluffy, but I don’t know if you cuddle him much. I have Nala with me, if you’d like to cuddle her.”

Camila doesn’t need to answer, because Lauren’s already carefully placing Nala in her arms, and the younger girl cuddles the stuffed lion to her chest. “Thanks, Lo. God, you’re so amazing and I’m sorry that dream me hurt dream you.”

“Just a dream,” Lauren shrugs it off, “what do you think triggered it?”

“Well, I was thinking about, uh,” Camila bites down on her lip and shrugs, “I was just worrying about things last night and when I fell asleep I was thinking about how… how I didn’t get why you stayed with me.”

Lauren snorts. “Obviously I’d stay with you, I love you. Duh. You’re kind of slow sometimes.”

“No, I mean, like,” Camila cuts herself off with a sigh, “at the start. When I was still getting things wrong. When I called you… the ‘f’ word. When I would always touch you without telling you.”

“Oh,” Lauren shrugs. “Well, I can’t- my mom always told me that I can’t expect people to get things right straight away, because it’s difficult to adjust, especially if you’ve never known any autistic people before, and you hadn’t. My dad told me to give you time so I did and you got better. Now you’re perfect. Why were you thinking about that, anyway?”

Camila sighs again. “Well, I was talking to Mani over text about the Norminah situation and she jokingly mentioned how she can’t believe that at one point she doubted my feelings for you – I was kind of rambling about you a little bit – and I guess it just made me think about how back then things did seem kind of one sided and how she was completely right to doubt if I’d be good for you because I messed things up a lot. Even you doubted me at first.”

“That’s just because of some things Mani mentioned and it made me paranoid,” Lauren says, “but… you shouldn’t let the things that happened forever ago upset you and stop you sleeping, because you’d never hurt me intentionally. So your dream was kind of pointless.”

“It was still horrible,” Camila murmurs, “watching myself say those _awful_ things to you. Watching you just sit there and take it and shower me with all of this love you have when I didn’t deserve it at all. And I started freaking out because maybe I don’t deserve you-”

“Shut up,” Lauren interrupts her, sending Camila her best glare. “You do deserve me. You’re _perfect_ , Camz. You deserve everything good in the world, and, uh, that includes me. You’re my angel. You’re meant for me.”

Camila rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder and fiddles with Nala’s tail. “I just… feel so much when I look at you and I don’t ever want to lose you. Ever. I can’t see myself with anyone else and I kind of figured that I wouldn’t feel like that until like… quite a few relationships in. But you’re who I want to spend the rest of my life with. And one day I’m going to tell you that with a ring in my hand.”

Lauren blinks at her. “But I’m supposed to propose.”

Camila snorts. “Not if I have anything to say about it. I have a huge romantic speech planned out and I want to be able to do it.”

Lauren pouts. “But… I want to.”

“Too bad,” Camila says, “I’m doing it.”

“Not if I beat you to it.” Lauren folds her arms across her chest and sticks her tongue out. “And I _will_.”

Camila laughs and kisses her cheek. “Thank you for coming over and cheering me up. Especially since it’s 3AM. Did you tell your parents where you went?”

“Oh,” Lauren’s eyes widen and she pulls her phone out of her pocket, sending a quick text in the family group chat that says _went to Camila’s, took mom’s car_ and stuffing it back in her pocket. “There. Now I have.”

“Good,” Camila plays with Lauren’s hand, “I wouldn’t want them to worry.”

“Worry… yes. You don’t need to worry about your dream.” Lauren says. “Because you’d never hurt me and we both know it.”

“Yeah,” Camila lets out a small laugh. “You’re right. I shouldn’t worry about that. The things I do with you, like… signalling when I’m going to touch you… it’s all basically second nature now. _God_ , I’m being so stupid. I don’t need to worry.”

Lauren laughs. “Now you get how pointless your dream was. Do you want to go back to sleep now?”

“No,” Camila shakes her head. “I want to stay awake with you. I’m sorry for calling all spontaneously and stuff-”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “I told you that you could, so long as it’s important and you really need me. And you did, so it’s okay.”

“Alright then,” Camila nods and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “Can we play Mario Kart or something? Just to take my mind off things.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Okay then. I get to play as Koopa Troopa though.”

“That’s cool. I was going to pick Princess Peach anyway,” Camila says as she moves off the couch to set the Wii up. “So… what were you dreaming about when I woke you up?”

“Nothing,” Lauren replies, “I don’t dream every night. Only some nights.”

“Glad I didn’t rip you out of a lovely dream where you’re best friends with Lana or something, then.” Camila lets out a quiet laugh and sits back on the couch, passing Lauren a Wii remote. “Let’s play. Be warned, I’m a pro at this. I’ll probably crush you.”

Lauren shrugs. “Okay then.”

“Lo,” Camila says, “you’re supposed to argue back and tell me that you’re going to win instead. Like you do when we play board games.”

“But… I’m not very good at Mario Kart,” Lauren frowns, “how could I win if I’m not very good and you- um, could _crush_ me?”

“Never mind,” Camila sends her a fond smile and kisses her temple. “I won’t _destroy_ you like I would with most people. I’ll go easy on you, since you’re so cute.”

Lauren pouts. “Stop calling me cute. It makes my tummy feel all flippy and it’s weird.”

Camila laughs. “Well… that’s a good thing. Means your tummy appreciates the compliments.”

Lauren smiles as she picks her character and the kart she wants to use. “Yes, but it kind of reminds me of when I was nervous around you all the time, and I don’t want to be nervous around you, Camz.”

“I don’t think there’s anything you really need to be nervous about, babe,” Camila says. “Like, uh… it’s not like we haven’t been intimate with each other and there’s nothing else that I can really think of that’d be… nerve-wracking.”

“Oh,” Lauren shrugs and taps on her leg. “I guess so.”

Camila nods as she picks the first race. “Even if there was, I’d be there to help you through it, so there’d be no need to be nervous anyway.”

Lauren pauses the game before it can start. “Are you sure you’re okay? You still look all sad.”

Camila shrugs and worries her bottom lip between her teeth. “I guess it’s just- I… I had a _panic attack_ , Lo. After not having one for like a year. You can’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

“Well… your parents will see me in the morning,” Lauren says, “because I’m staying over, I don’t want to drive all the way home again.”

“They’re both out at like, eight at the latest, and I never usually wake up until Sofi literally wakes me up,” Camila replies. “They never have to know. This can be our little secret.”

Lauren frowns for a moment, before shaking her head. “Camz, I think you should talk to someone. Like, at least a counsellor at school. If you had a panic attack, then-”

“ _Lauren_ , drop it,” Camila sighs, and Lauren frowns even more, because she doesn’t think this is something she should ignore. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“It’s _important_ ,” Lauren replies, sending her girlfriend her best glare. “You need to talk to someone. An actual qualified adult. I won’t tell your parents about this as long as you promise you’ll talk to someone.”

While Lauren is absolutely terrified of her girlfriend’s reaction, because she doesn’t want to make Camila mad or upset, she knows that it needed to be said. She knows that it’s important.

Camila looks at her blankly for a moment before finally letting out a sigh. “Fine. I’ll talk to someone. I’ll go to the guidance counsellor at school when we start again, but _only_ if you’ll go with me.”

“Of course,” Lauren agrees, thankful that Camila hadn’t shouted. “I know the guidance counsellor, she’s really nice. You’ll like her a lot, her name is Miss Lovato but she lets me call her by her first name because- um, the principal made me go to her in freshman year to help me settle because I’m autistic. You’ll really like her.”

“Alright,” Camila quietly replies. “I’ll go to see her, but you can’t tell my parents that any of this happened. That’s the deal.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods and taps on her leg, “I promise. So long as you go to see her. Anyway, are you hungry? I’ll make you a sandwich if you like, I know you like food lots and you still look sad.”

“No, that’s okay, Lolo,” Camila distractedly replies, looking anywhere but Lauren, “I’m sure I’ll feel better once I completely crush you at Mario Kart.”

Lauren frowns and fiddles with her Wii controller. “I’d like to do something for you, though. I don’t feel like I’m making you feel better.”

Camila shrugs and gives her a half-hearted smile. “You’d make me feel better if we just… peacefully ignored the reason you’re here.”

“But… I can’t ignore that,” Lauren replies, “I’m sorry, Camz, but I can’t just ignore what happened. You had a panic attack, and I know that panic attacks suck, because sensory overload is kind of like a panic attack, but you can’t just ignore it. Avoidance doesn’t make things go away, and the more you avoid, the worse it gets.”

“That’s different. Sensory overload is something that you’re going to go through for the rest of your life.” Camila argues. “That’s part of your autism and it’s not going to go away. But this? This was just a little blip. Nothing to worry about. That’s why I think it’s kind of pointless that you’re making me go to the counsellor, because this won’t happen again. It was just a little fuck up because of a bad dream.”

“Yeah, and the same thing will happen on the next bad dream.” Lauren points out. “This isn’t- you can’t just ignore things like this, Camz. I’m not going to sit back and watch you make yourself worse by avoiding everything, and I’m going to make you go to the counsellor whether you like it or not.”

“I’m _fucking fine_.” Camila snaps, and Lauren shuffles backwards on the couch a little bit, because she hadn’t expected that. Camila’s expression softens then and she carefully takes Lauren’s hand. “I shouldn’t have snapped. But I’m okay, really. My anxiety went away, and it’s not like I still need my medication. This was just a little glitch.”

Lauren shakes her head. “No. It’s not. You’re not fine and you’re seeing the counsellor.”

“I said I would. And I will, for you.” Camila replies. “But she’s going to tell you the same thing I am, that I’m perfectly okay.”

Lauren blinks at her. “Panic attacks at three in the morning and doubting your worth in this relationship isn’t the definition of okay, Camz.”

Camila’s face falls and she turns back to the TV. “Let’s just… play this and then go to bed.”

Lauren picks up her controller and looks towards the screen as Camila starts the game. She loses at Mario Kart, but mostly just because she’s too concerned about Camila to even bother trying to win.


	43. Chapter 43

“This is so weird,” Dinah announces as she stares at the chair that was Ally’s, “Lauser, you should’ve taught her all the wrong stuff so she’d be here with us this year.”

Lauren looks up from her book in confusion, not expecting to be addressed. “Who? What are we talking about?”

“ _Ally_ ,” Dinah replies as Camila giggles and starts rubbing circles on Lauren’s back. “You should’ve conveniently taught her the wrong things for her classes last year so she’d still be here.”

“You’re making it sound like she’s dead,” Normani laughs. “Her college is ten minutes down the road and we’re going to see her at the weekends.”

Dinah frowns, but her expression lightens completely when Normani takes hold of her hand and gives it a small squeeze. “Yeah. I guess so. It’s still weird though, like an empty hole where she should be.”

“Lauren and Mani could’ve been gone too.” Camila points out. “We still have two of our responsible adults.”

“Look, I still _swear_ that my second grade teacher hated me. Like, who even _needs_ the second grade anyway?” Normani rolls her eyes. “Not my fault she held me back for no reason.”

“Actually, you _did_ miss like two months of school.” Dinah argues, turning to Camila to explain. “She got pneumonia in second grade and her teacher held her back. That’s why she’s with us.”

“Again, _not my fault_.” Normani argues, “I blame my immune system and my evil teacher.”

“Our teacher wasn’t evil,” Dinah counters, “if she really hated you, she would’ve moved you up to seventh grade so you’d be out of that school completely. She’d hardly keep you for another year.”

Lauren looks up from her book. “She could’ve at least given her a chance to catch up on all the missed stuff. But then you’d be somewhere at college instead of here with us, and I’d miss you. So I’m glad your teacher held you back.”

“I wouldn’t have met you guys.” Normani points out. “And that’d be like hell. So _I guess_ it was okay. I still hold a grudge though.”

As Dinah and Normani continue to bicker, Camila turns to Lauren, who is incredibly invested in the novel she’s reading – Stephen King’s _It_. “I’m glad you started school a year late, babe. I wouldn’t want my girlfriend to be off at college somewhere without me.”

Lauren hums in response. “Yes.”

“Sociable,” Camila comments, raising her eyebrows at Lauren’s one word response, “but I guess you’re too busy reading to pay attention to me.”

Lauren frowns to herself and seems to remember something, closing her book quickly. “You said we’d go to the counsellor today. We can go at lunchtime.”

Camila lets out a reluctant sigh, because she’d kind of hoped Lauren would forget about that. “Do we have to? Nothing has happened since the… incident, so I think it’s safe to say I’m okay.”

“No, we’re going,” Lauren is quick to reply, “and you can’t convince me not to, because I know you’re going to try by kissing me and telling me nice things, but it won’t work this time. Because I’m not going to be a pushover with this. It’s serious.”

“Fine,” Camila rolls her eyes, “we’ll go at lunch. Anyway, what do you think is going on with Norminah? We know they went on their date, but they haven’t specified any changes to their relationship. Do you think they’re together?”

Lauren closes her eyes, tapping on her leg. “They are holding hands. Maybe they’re not girlfriends yet. Maybe they’re just dating friends.”

“Ah, dating friends. Forgot about that crucial point in a relationship.” Camila sends her girlfriend a teasing smile, but when Lauren opens her eyes and doesn’t smile back, Camila’s look changes to one of concern. “Are you okay?”

“I- um… you’ll think it’s stupid.” Lauren says, her tapping speeding up. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“No. It’s not stupid if you’re not being your usual happy self.” Camila points out, taking Lauren’s left hand which is balled up in a fist and prying her fingers open, tracing three circles across her girlfriend’s palm. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Well, I don’t-” Lauren reaches into her backpack and pulls out her new schedule, spreading it out on the table in front of them both. “I don’t like this.”

Camila frowns down at it, trying to figure out what’s wrong. “Why not?”

“It’s- it’s all _new_ ,” Lauren scowls at the schedule as if it’s just jumped up and given her a papercut. “It’s new and I didn’t plan it and I _don’t_ like it.”

Camila lets out a fond laugh and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “It’ll be okay, babe. You’ll get used to it, like you did with your old schedule, and you’ll get into a routine. Once you’re in a routine, it’ll be okay. Give it a few weeks and if you really hate it, we’ll take you to the counsellor. Or the principal. See if someone can fix it.”

“I’m supposed to have art on Wednesdays.” Lauren continues, pointing at the Wednesday column. “But I don’t. No art. I have _gym_ , and I’m supposed to have gym on Tuesdays. And I never have art on Thursdays, but _look_. Art!”

“Technically you do have art on Wednesday, baby,” Camila points out, “You have your art class on a Wednesday night. That’ll always be there, so you’ll always have art on Wednesdays.”

“Oh,” Lauren blinks down at her schedule and finally cracks a smile. “Yes. I didn’t think about that. But I still have gym on Wednesday, I’m supposed to have it on Tuesday.”

“Well,” Camila gets out her schedule and points to the same gym class. “At least you’re in the same class as me. That’s always great for entertainment, considering how much I fall over.”

Lauren snorts. “Yes. That’s right, it is funny. Remember in gym class last year when you-”

“You know, I don’t even want to hear the end of that sentence,” Camila is quick to reply, “because it’ll definitely end in something embarrassing.”

Lauren smiles. “I will just remember the things to myself so they make me laugh. Thank you for making me feel better, Camz.”

“She goes through this every year,” Dinah interrupts them, “Ralph, I mean. The second she gets a new schedule, she hates it.”

Lauren pouts. “I don’t like change.”

Camila wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist. “And that’s okay. But you’ll adjust once you get into a routine. The second you get a routine going, you’ll love it.”

“Yes.” Lauren smiles to herself. “You’re right. I just need to… get a routine. It’s just annoying because I like making my own routine.”

Normani laughs. “Go and complain to the principal. Tell him you should be on timetabling duty.”

“Mani, I think they do it all with a computer,” Lauren points out. “I don’t think they actually employ someone to do it. It’s all computerised.”

“She was joking, Lolo,” Camila tells her, and Lauren tries to think back and wonders what the joke was. “But anyway, we should get to literature soon. And then we have Spanish together after lunch. I’m glad you’re in my class this year. Last year I was sat next to this guy on the football team and he wouldn’t stop flirting with me. Eventually I just pretended he wasn’t there.”

“He flirted with you?” Lauren looks up and scowls. “Point him out. I would like to- um, tell him to back off. Because you’re my girl. Not his.”

“As intimidating as that would be, you don’t need to do that,” Camila says, her stomach flipping when she hears Lauren refer to her as ‘her girl’. “He backed off around March time when I started pretending he didn’t exist.”

“I don’t want anyone to flirt with you.” Lauren scowls. “You’re my girl.”

“I know I am. And I tell them that.” Camila assures her. “If it means that much to you, I’ll get _Lauren Jauregui’s girlfriend_ tattooed across my forehead.”

“Oh, no, don’t do that,” Lauren says, not picking up on her sarcasm. “Ignoring them is good enough, as long as you tell them you’re mine.”

“Only if you do the same,” Camila pokes her in the side, “You’re mine too. You’re off limits to flirters.”

“Nobody flirts with me.” Lauren replies, picking up her book and putting it in her backpack. “You’re the only person to show- um, romantic interest in me.”

Normani scoffs. “Lo, someone flirted with you _last week_. That waitress, remember? When you, me and Ally went to that café for lunch.”

Lauren frowns to herself. “She was flirting with me?”

Dinah laughs. “Look, I know you’re oblivious to subtleties, but you get flirted with a _lot_ , Ralph. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re pretty damn hot, girl.”

“I’m hot?” Lauren frowns and drums out a pattern on the table. “Oh. I thought that- um, when Camz calls me that, she’s just saying it because she has to. Because she’s my girlfriend. I know that I’m pretty, but hot is a different thing.”

Dinah rolls her eyes. “Lo, you’re one of those people that everyone else checks out when you walk past. And then you get annoyed because they’re ‘looking at you funny’. But they’re really just looking at your ass.”

Camila scowls. “Hey, no. That’s my ass to look at, thanks. It’s off limits to everyone else.”

“What’s so good about my ass?” Lauren frowns and shifts on her chair. “I don’t understand. Why am I hot?”

“Lo,” Normani reaches across the table and grabs Lauren’s hand, “I’m saying this totally platonically, but you have a killer body. I know a lot of the time you hide it with your sweaters that are ten times too big for you, but when you don’t…”

“Let’s stop this conversation here,” Camila interrupts, wrapping her arms around Lauren’s waist and kissing her cheek. “She’s my hot girlfriend. No looking at her ass or any other parts of her body for anyone but _me_.”

Lauren smiles. “Yes. I am your hot girlfriend. I’m hot.”

“Yeah, you are,” Camila pulls Lauren in for a kiss. “But because you can’t tell when people are flirting, I’ll let you off. So long as you reserve your wonderful ass for me.”

“I still don’t understand what’s so good about my butt,” Lauren says, “it’s just a butt. Butts are butts.”

“Yours is just… nice,” Camila shrugs, “and it’s Cuban booty. Cuban booty is always the best.”

Lauren blinks at her. “Okay then. I still don’t get it, but I will just… pretend I do.”

“Okay, baby,” Camila kisses her cheek and nods towards the door. “Do you want to head to literature?”

“Yes, okay,” Lauren nods and stands up, pulling her backpack onto her shoulders and saying goodbye to Normani and Dinah. Then, she takes Camila’s hand and follows her out of the art room. “Um, Camz? You know that Normani said I have a _killer body_? What does that mean? I guessed that it means something good, but I don’t know what _killer_ means in this context.”

“It means like… a really hot body.” Camila explains as she leads Lauren towards the literature classroom. “And she wasn’t wrong. I love your body.”

“But what’s so good about it?” Lauren asks as they walk into the English block. “Why is my body a _killer_ , but someone else’s not?”

“Well…” Camila bites down on her lip and shrugs. “You have curves. And curves are… well, your curves in particular make me crazy. I know I’ve always liked guys more than girls, but your body is so… womanly. And most of that is because of your curves.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Okay then. I am curvy.”

“Yeah,” Camila nods, about to open up the literature classroom door, frowning when she hears a _hey, Mila_ , from behind her. She spins around on her heel and sees Shawn jogging towards them. “Oh. Hi, Shawn. What’s up?”

“Hey,” He takes a moment to gather his breath before speaking, “A friend of mine is having a party in a few weeks and he said I could invite anyone I wanted. You in? You’re invited too, Lauren.”

“Oh, no thanks,” Camila laughs, “Lauren’s not really a fan of parties. We’ll probably just have a night in.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods after thinking it over for a moment. “I will come to your party.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “Lo, you hate parties. I don’t want you to get upset or-”

“I will be fine,” Lauren shrugs her off, “I would like to come to your party, Shawn.”

“Okay, cool.” He smiles. “So I’ll see you both there?”

“Yes,” Lauren confirms for the both of them. “We will both be there at your party. Thank you for inviting us.”

“It’s cool,” He replies and nods towards the door. “Anyway, I have to go to gym class. See you two at the party if I don’t see you before.”

With that, he turns and heads in the direction he’d come in, leaving a nonchalant Lauren and a very confused Camila behind.

“Why’d you say you’d go?” Camila asks as they head into the literature classroom, Lauren leading them to the desk they’d shared last year. “You hate parties, Lo. They’re loud and crowded. That’s literally your worst nightmare.”

“I want to try,” Lauren says, “for you. I’d like to go to a party with you and for you.”

“No, Lo,” Camila shakes her head, “we don’t have to go to parties. I don’t particularly like them either and I’d honestly rather spend a night in with you.”

“We are going to Shawn’s party,” Lauren replies. “I want to try and go to a party. I want to see how I feel about them. Okay?”

“Okay,” Camila nods. “Fine. We’ll go. But only if you’re sure, and you’re not going to leave my side all night.”

“Yes,” Lauren is quick to respond. “I am sure. And I will stay with you.”

“Good,” Camila nods, “good. Because the last thing I want is for you to go into sensory overload around a bunch of jerks from our school.”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip. “I will not go into sensory overload. I’ll be fine. We will have fun at the party.”

Camila frowns, but she doesn’t question her girlfriend’s confidence. “Okay.”

-

When lunchtime finally arrives, Camila doesn’t even have a chance to make an excuse about how she’s too busy to go to the counsellor’s, because Lauren has her by the arm and is dragging her there the second the bell rings.

The door is open when they’re there, so they can walk straight in, and Lauren is the one to make the counsellor aware of their presence. “Hi, Demi.”

The counsellor looks up with a smile. “Lauren! How have you been? Are you here for a little talk to help you settle for your senior year?”

“No, I am bringing Camila,” Lauren nudges her forwards, “this is Camila. She is my girlfriend and she- um, has anxiety problems. But she thinks she doesn’t.”

“I _don’t_ ,” Camila reiterates, “Lauren is just paranoid because I had a panic attack about two weeks ago because of a bad dream. But I hadn’t had one for a year before that. It was just a little glitch and I feel like we’re probably wasting your time right now.”

Camila has to hold back her sigh when Demi gestures to one of the chairs in front of her desk. “Sit down, Camila. Lauren, are you staying?”

Lauren looks over at Camila. “If Camz wants me to.”

“Yes, please,” Camila pats the seat next to her and Lauren sits down, drumming on her leg. “Look, honestly, it’d make more sense for _me_ to leave. I’m perfectly fine.”

Demi sends her a steady look. “If you think this is a waste of time, then why are you here?”

“For Lauren,” Camila shrugs. “She was worried about me and I figured that you’d have the same opinion as me, that this is pointless because I’m fine.”

“Tell me about your panic attack,” Demi says, “why it happened and what makes you think you don’t have any anxiety issues.”

“Well, it happened because of a bad dream.” Camila repeats. “I woke up and had a panic attack, and Lauren was sweet enough to come over and comfort me. That’s all it was. It could’ve happened to anyone and I don’t have any problems. My anxiety has gone.”

“You’ve been diagnosed before?” Demi starts noting things down and that’s an automatic red flag for Camila. “How long ago?”

“Um… after my family moved here from Cuba,” Camila distractedly replies, “what are you writing? You don’t need to make notes.”

“Just things to help me understand better,” Demi assures her. “When did you feel that your anxiety had gone away?”

“After I’d settled in here.” Camila hesitantly answers. “Mostly after I’d started dating Lauren.”

Lauren frowns. “People can’t cure mental illness, Camz.”

“Lauren, I’m fine,” Camila reiterates for what feels like the millionth time. “My anxiety is gone. I’ve been fine all year. That last panic attack was just a little blip.”

Demi notes something else down. “How frequent were the panic attacks before you came here?”

“Fairly frequent, but it was mostly because- because of this girl. At my old school. She was my first serious crush on a girl and she found out about it and used it to-” Camila shrugs, “you know, none of this even matters. She’s in the past. I’m happy now.”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip. “The girl bullied her. Basically. She bullied her for being different, and I know that bullying can leave you with a lot of residual problems. And I don’t think her anxiety has gone. I think she’s just gotten used to it and thinks it’s normal to overthink everything the way she does. Like- we went to Disneyworld for my birthday and she was always really worried that the rides were going to break down and we’d get hurt. And before that she’d say things that made me a little confused, but I think- I think a big part of it is her sister. Her little sister, Sofi, was in a car accident earlier in summer. And since then she seems to have gotten a lot more anxious.”

Camila doesn’t care that Demi’s writing more notes, because she’s busy absorbing Lauren’s words and trying to find reasons they might not be true.

She can’t find any.

“Lo…” Camila feels her girlfriend take hold of her hand. “How much have you thought about this?”

“Quite a lot,” Lauren replies, “I was worried about you ever since you told me you’d had anxiety since you were little. But you’d been acting a lot more jumpy since Sofi’s accident and when you told me you had anxiety but you said you thought it’d gone… I knew it hadn’t. But your panic attack was the point where I was like _okay, I need to help her_. So that’s what I’m doing now. Trying to help.”

Camila rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder with a sigh. “You’re such a good girlfriend, Lo. Thank you for caring so much.”

“She mentioned you a lot,” Demi nods towards Lauren, “last year. Lauren always comes to me at the start of every school year to help her settle, and she mentioned a ‘new friend’ Camila.”

“Oh really?” Camila turns to Lauren with a small smile. “What nasty things did you tell her?”

“Nothing bad,” Lauren shakes her head, “I told her that I thought you were really nice and that your eyes look like melted chocolate and that you make me feel at peace. And you do, I love you. Why do you think I brought you here? Because I love you and want to help.”

“I think it’d be useful for you to have a few sessions with me,” Demi says. “You’ll be able to get things out and find ways to control your thoughts.”

Camila’s still not sure about this whole counselling thing, because she doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal, but Lauren kind of had a point. She has been a lot more worried since Sofi’s accident. And maybe it’d be nice to get things out.

“Okay,” Camila replies. “I’ll try it. But, uh, can I have Lauren here with me?”

“If Lauren is okay with that and if you’d be most comfortable with that, then of course,” Demi nods, “Lauren? Is that okay with you?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods. “I will come with you if you need me.”

“Okay then,” Demi smiles at the two of them. “I’ll email you when I can make you an appointment. It’ll likely be during one of your free periods.”

“Okay.” Camila nods and squeezes Lauren’s hand. “Thanks for your time. And thank you, Lo, for bringing me.”

Lauren smiles as she waves goodbye to Demi and leads them out of the counsellor’s office. “Told you it’d help. I’m smart, see. I have a-”

“5.0 GPA,” Camila is quick to finish for her. “Seriously? I thought you had a 4.9. You’ve never told me it’s a _5.0_ before.”

“I know you’re being sarcastic.” Lauren tells her. “And it’s not funny.”

“Actually, it’s very funny,” Camila taps her on the end of her nose. “It’ll never not be funny. ‘I have a 5.0 GPA’ is literally your catchphrase.”

“Shut up.” Lauren scowls. “I wasn’t even going to say that, anyway. I was going to say that I have a good experience with counsellors and I know which ones help and which don’t.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Yeah, sure you were.”

“I was!” Lauren exclaims, folding her arms across her chest. “You’re so mean to me. I don’t like you.”

“Yeah, you don’t like me.” Camila agrees. “You _love_ me. Dumbass.”

“I’m not a dumbass!” Lauren is quick to defend herself. “I have a 5.0-”

Camila cuts her off with a laugh. “See. Catchphrase.”

“You tricked me into saying that.” Lauren sends Camila her best glare. “You’re banned from cuddles. No more cuddles until you apologise for making fun of me and my GPA.”

“I’m sorry,” Camila tries to keep a straight face and fails. “I’m sorry I insulted your GPA.”

“Don’t _laugh_.” Lauren pouts. “It’s serious. I love my GPA-”

“Obviously more than your girlfriend.” Camila points out. “Considering you’re banishing me from cuddles, which is like, the _worst_ punishment ever. Like, you’re going as far as punishing yourself.”

“I don’t love anything more than you. Even Nala.” Lauren tells her, and Camila feels her stomach flip. “Even if you’re mean to me sometimes.”

“I’m not _mean_. I only _tease_.” Camila kisses her cheek. “Because you’re cute when you’re defensive.”

“Fine. I will start teasing you too.” Lauren says. “So… look out for that.”

Camila ruffles her hair and kisses her cheek. “Sure, babe. I’ll look out for it.”

Lauren sends her a satisfied smile. “Good. Anyway, thank you for going to see Demi. I know it’s- um, hard to admit when you need to talk to someone. But thank you for listening to me.”

“ _I’m_ the one who should thank you, dork,” Camila says as they arrive in the art room. “Thank you for being so concerned and wanting to be a hundred percent sure that I’m okay. You’re such a good girlfriend.”

“I promised you eleven months ago that I’d be a good girlfriend and treat you right.” Lauren shrugs. “I intend to keep that promise.”

Camila kisses her. “You go above and beyond, baby. You’re so good at all of this.”

“Thank you.” Lauren smiles. “So- um… how is your ear piercing? Has it healed okay? It’s been the six to eight weeks, have you changed the jewellery yet?”

Camila shakes her head and pushes her hair back to show Lauren the stud in the top of her left ear. “It stopped hurting after like… two weeks? I think that’s mostly because I sleep on my left side, though. And I kept knocking it with my hairbrush. Haven’t changed the jewellery though, I thought the lady said it’d take three months to heal?”

“Yes, they do, but you can change jewellery after six to eight weeks.” Lauren says. “I have never changed my helix piercing jewellery though. And I changed my nose stud to a ring after like… at least a year. Sometimes I put the stud back in because I’m still not sure which I prefer.”

“I’ve never seen you with your stud in.” Camila replies. “Aside from in pictures when I stalk your Facebook or Instagram. You should put it in one night for a date.”

“Okay then.” Lauren nods. “I will. Anyway, I would like to read my book now. You should- um, text Dinah and Mani and find out where they are.”

“They’re probably making out somewhere.” Camila says. “Wouldn’t want to disturb my ship. So I’ll just stay here and play with your hair while you read.”

Lauren beams. “Yes, that’s a wonderful idea! I love it when people play with my hair.”

As Lauren rests her head on Camila’s shoulder and opens up her book, Camila absentmindedly plays with her girlfriend’s hair and thinks through what Lauren had said to Demi, still trying to prove her girlfriend’s statements wrong.


	44. Chapter 44

****Trigger warning for ableist slurs.** **

****-** **

Lauren realises that coming to the party was a bad idea the second Camila’s car pulls up and she can hear the loud music from a few houses down.

“Are you _sure_ you want to do this?” Camila asks, almost as if she senses Lauren’s discomfort. “I know you hate loud places.”

“I am sure.” Lauren decides, because she’d promised Camila that she’d try. And she wants to be able to go out with Camila to parties and do other stereotypically ‘teenager’ things. “I want to try.”

“Okay.” Camila replies, opening up the car door. “Let’s go, then.”

The second they’re out of the car, Lauren takes Camila’s hand and follows her girlfriend towards the house the party is being held at, both of them fully aware that it’s not a good idea, but Camila not wanting to push Lauren and Lauren not wanting to disappoint anyone.

Once they’re outside the correct house, Camila stops them. “Lauren. You don’t have to do this.”

“I know.” Lauren stares at the house apprehensively. “But I want to see if I can.”

“I don’t want you to go into sensory overload. It makes you feel so bad and you’re always upset for hours after.” Camila says. “I don’t want anything to make you feel bad. I want you to be happy.”

“I know.” Lauren repeats. “I want to try. If I don’t like it, we can leave.”

Camila gives her a hesitant nod, and they head into the house, Lauren’s hands immediately shooting up to cover her ears at the noise. Camila wants them to go then and there, but when she starts moving back towards the door, Lauren shakes her head and keeps walking them further into the house.

“Lauren, let’s just go.” Camila shouts over the music. “This isn’t going to go well and we both know it.”

“I would like a drink.” Lauren calmly replies, her hands still over her ears. “Can we get a drink?”

“Fine.” Camila says. “One drink and then we leave. Okay?”

Lauren doesn’t reply, and instead closes her eyes and takes one hand from her ear to hold Camila’s hand. “Take me to the drinks, please.”

Camila leads Lauren through the house and into the kitchen, getting her girlfriend a can of soda. “There. You have a drink. Now drink it so we can leave without any tears.”

Lauren opens her eyes for a second and nods, taking the drink from Camila and opening it up. She takes a sip and then closes her eyes again. “So… what do you do now? I know you’re supposed to get a drink, but then what do you do?”

“Talk to people, I guess?” Camila shrugs. “But look, you’re talking to me right now. So you can finish your drink in the car.”

Lauren frowns and takes another sip of her drink. “I want to stay until I finish it.”

“Hey, Mila, Lauren,” Shawn taps Camila on the shoulder and sends Lauren a smile, but she doesn’t see it because her eyes are still closed. “How are- wait, Lauren, why do you have your eyes closed?”

“It is very loud in here, and since I cannot control the volume, I have my eyes closed to filter out any visual stimuli.” Lauren explains, rocking on her heels. “I do not like how loud it is.”

“Oh…” Shawn looks over at Camila with a frown. “Okay then. Anyway, Mila, there’s some people I want you to meet.”

Shawn grabs onto Camila’s arm and pulls her over to a group of guys, and Camila is incredibly thankful that she has her death grip on Lauren’s hand, because the last thing she wants is to lose her girlfriend in a place like this.

“Mila, these are some of the guys I’m on the football team with.” Shawn says, and he starts introducing them, but Camila is far more concerned about Lauren, who is now humming along with rocking herself on her heels. However, Lauren freezes completely when Shawn gets to the last guy. “And this is Luis. Guys, this is Camila, she’s tutoring me in Spanish, and her girlfriend Lauren.”

Camila sees the way they smirk at Lauren, and she doesn’t like it at all. She lets out a forced, “Nice to meet you,” and squeezes Lauren’s hand comfortingly, because she remembers what Dinah, Ally and Normani had told her about Luis and his friends, and she doesn’t plan on being civil.

Camila pulls Lauren closer to her and kisses her temple, dropping her voice, “We can leave if you want. Right now.”

Lauren takes another sip of her drink and doesn’t open her eyes. “I would like to finish my drink.”

“Okay,” Camila nods and squeezes her hand again, looking over at Shawn. “So… other than football, do you hang out with these guys much?”

“Not all of them.” Shawn replies. “I’m pretty close to Luis, though. I met him when I moved here last year. I actually think you and I got here around the same time.”

Camila sighs and sends the boy in question a subtle glare. “Oh. This is Luis, right?”

Luis sends her a toothy grin and Camila runs her thumb over Lauren’s in an effort to tell her girlfriend it’s okay without actually saying anything. “Yeah. Nice to meet you, Camila. Care to introduce me to your little friend there?”

“Camz,” Lauren speaks before Camila can. “I finished my drink. But I need the bathroom before we leave.”

Camila turns to Shawn. “Where’s the bathroom?”

“Um… the closest one is downstairs in the hall, I think.” Shawn tells her. “But I don’t know. It’s Luis’ house.”

Camila turns to Luis with the fakest smile she can muster. “Can you tell us where the bathroom is?”

He looks Lauren over for a moment. “I think your friend can find it herself. It’s not like she hasn’t been here before.”

Camila blinks in shock and turns to Lauren with a frown. “You’ve been here before?”

Lauren taps against her leg with her free hand and opens her eyes for a moment, looking around the room, her eyes finally landing on Luis. Then, she closes her eyes again and starts taking deep breaths. “Yes. I have.”

Camila is even more confused. “Why?”

“I would like to leave now.” Lauren replies, rocking herself on her heels a lot more rapidly. “I have finished my drink and I would like to leave.”

“What?” Luis laughs. “Reminiscing our little ‘date’?”

“Camz,” Lauren squeezes her eyes shut as tightly as she can. “I would like to leave. We need to leave.”

“Okay.” Camila nods and goes to push her way through the people around them, but Luis grabs onto Lauren’s arm and pulls them both back.

“Are you telling me that you didn’t tell your little girlfriend about us?” Luis raises an eyebrow and Lauren tries to pull her arm out of his grip. “Now that’s just rude. Didn’t she want to know where you’ve been?”

“Let go of me.” Lauren pulls away from him. “Don’t touch me. You’re not allowed to touch me.”

“Do what she says.” Camila sends Luis her best glare. “Don’t _fucking_ touch her without her permission.”

Shawn – who had been busy talking to a friend – comes back over and his eyes widen. “What are you doing? She hates being touched. Stop it and leave her alone.”

At Shawn's words, Luis lets go of her and Lauren practically jumps on Camila, hiding her face in her neck. “Camz. We need to leave.”

“We’re leaving, Lo.” Camila kisses the top of her head. “I promise. Right now, angel.”

Lauren squirms in Camila’s grip and lets out a small whine, and Camila presses the car keys into her hand. “Go sit in the car. I’ll be two minutes. There's something I need to do.”

Lauren practically sprints out of the room when she’s sure she has the car keys in her hand, and Camila watches after her girlfriend for a moment before turning to Luis with a terrifying glare.

“What the _fuck_ did you do to her?” Camila pushes him back, and while he could probably snap her in half, she thinks she’s doing a pretty good job of being intimidating. At least, she hopes. “I swear to fucking god, if you touch her again-”

“Your little girlfriend was fucking _obsessed_ with me. She basically stalked me for three months, so I did what I had to do to make her fuck off.” Luis snaps at her. “She asked me out like twenty fucking times, and so the last time she did, I said yes. I made her think that I was okay with her following me around constantly and calling me her boyfriend. And then I told everyone how fucking weird she really is.”

“Don’t you _dare_ talk about her like that,” Camila wants nothing more than to hit the guy then and there, and apparently Shawn senses that, and holds her back. “She _liked_ you. And I know that you’re fucking lying, because Lauren is respectful and she would’ve backed off if you told her to. Obviously you didn’t do that at all, did you?”

Luis scoffs. “Maybe you don’t know her as well as you think.”

“I damn well know her better than you do.” Camila snaps, shrugging Shawn off and turning towards the door. “Fuck you. Don’t you _ever_ come near me or her again.”

She’s halfway to the front door when she hears something she wishes she didn’t.

“Clearly you’re just defensive because you couldn’t get the fucking retard to leave you alone.”

If he could’ve, Shawn would’ve probably held her back. But Camila’s too fast for him. Her hand hurts like hell when she’s turned and run out of the door again, but the sight of Luis’ nose gushing with blood makes it all worth it.

When Camila gets back in the car, her heart threatening to beat out of her chest, she immediately pulls Lauren in for a hug. “Lauren, baby, I love you.”

“I know,” Lauren’s voice is shaky, and she doesn’t look like she’s been crying, so Camila assumes she’s not feeling too bad. “I love you too. Why did you stay for a- _Camz!_ Your hand is bleeding!”

Camila looks down at her hand and rubs the blood of it. “No, it’s not my blood. It kind of hurts, but I’m okay.”

Lauren’s bushy eyebrows dip into a frown. “What?”

“I might’ve- uh, lost my temper.” Camila rubs her hand and shrugs. “Luis deserved it, though.”

Lauren seems even more confused. “Did you shout?”

“I punched him.” Camila answers, looking up to gauge Lauren’s reaction. “Like I said, he deserved it.”

Lauren rubs a hand along her leg, and Camila knows that means one of two things – that she’s either nervous or happy. “Oh. I wish I could’ve seen you punch him.”

 _Happy it is_ , Camila decides. “I thought you didn’t like violence.”

“I don’t. But it’s okay with him, because he's a fucking jerk.” Lauren says, humming to herself. “Why did you punch him? Even though he deserves it anyway, I want to know why.”

“Well, he started spouting bullshit about you, and I told him to shut the fuck up and walked away.” Camila replies. “Then he- um, called you a bad word. And I lost my temper and punched him, so now he has a bleeding nose. Felt good to give him what he deserved, though.”

Lauren bounces her leg up and down. “Did he call me the ‘r’ word?”

“Uh… yeah.” Camila confirms, kissing Lauren’s cheek. “That’s why I hit him. But also because of all the lies he was saying too.”

“What lies?” Lauren asks. “What did he say about me?”

“He said you were obsessed with him and that you ‘stalked’ him, which I highly doubt because he’s not very stalker worthy. If you were going to stalk anyone, you’d stalk Lana or Matty Healy or something.” Camila starts, thinking back to Luis’s words and feeling her blood boil. “He said that you asked him out loads and he said yes and then ‘showed everyone how weird you are’. Whatever the fuck that means.”

Lauren stops rubbing her hand along her leg and switches to tapping. “That’s not true.”

“I figured.” Camila replies. “Another reason why I got mad. What really happened, Lo?”

“Um, well, I had a crush on him… for a few months, I think. But I never said anything, because I’m always really scared to talk to people I like.” Lauren starts, pausing to hum a note Camila recognises as a G#. “I asked him out one day because Ally told me the worst that would happen is that he’d say no. But- um, he said yes, and I was really confused but also happy because it meant I’d get to go on a date with someone I liked. And then- um, he invited me to his house and made me dinner and it was really fun and lovely, and he told me to- uh, meet me in the cafeteria at school the next day…”

Camila leans over and kisses her. “It’s okay, baby. It’s all over now and nobody will ever hurt you. If they do, they'll get one of my punches too. Once my hand stops hurting anyway.”

Lauren looks down at her feet and wipes at her eyes. “He acted like he hadn’t said yes to me. Like I was stalking him or something, but then he told me he was just joking and he asked me to kiss him and I tried and his friends… they kept saying that I was bad a-and- um, he called me horrible things, Camz. He called me the ‘r’ word and- um, he’s really popular so everyone thought that I’d been following him around and people that I didn’t even know were calling me bad words and acting like I was some sort of creepy predator and- um, then him and his friends locked me in the supply closet in the gym and told me that- um, nobody would ever want me and that I was stupid to have tried asking him out and that all my friends were only my friends through pity and he really got into my head and I _hate it_ , Camz. I didn’t- um, go to school for a month after that. I did all my work from home.”

“Lo,” Camila pulls her into a hug. “This was why you were so insecure at the start of our relationship, right? Why you were worried I was only with you because I felt sorry for you or something.”

“Yes,” Lauren wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand. “Because I didn’t understand why you’d want me when you could have an allistic person. But- now I get it. Because I’m just as good. I’m- I’m perfect for you and you’re perfect for me. I’m not _lesser_ than anyone.”

“Fuck anyone that says otherwise,” Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek. “You’re worth so much, and I’m so glad you believe that now.”

“Yes. I believe it.” Lauren nods and makes an effort to make eye contact with her. “And you helped me see that. And I don’t care what people like Luis think, not anymore. I’m better than him. Still glad you punched him, though. And that I wasn't there to hear him say the 'r' word.”

Camila laughs. “Yeah. Me too. Even if my hand is throbbing right now.”

“Oh, we should go back to my house and get you some ice.” Lauren says. “And then we can watch whatever movie you want and have a night in like we usually do.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to watch _The Lion King_?” Camila asks. “You know, since you were kind of upset earlier.”

Lauren shakes her head. “No, because we should watch a movie you pick. I’d like to watch a movie you pick.”

“Okay then.” Camila nods and starts the car. “ _The Notebook_ it is.”


	45. Chapter 45

****_Camz <3 (11:31AM): HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DORK_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:31AM): I COVERED RIHANNA AND DRAKE FOR U SINCE U TOLD ME UR INTO THEM RN_ ** **

_**Camz <3 (11:31AM): THE VID IS ** _ **[HERE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlviYjsy6yg) _BABE_**

****_Camz <3 (11:31AM): BUT HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY LOLO I LOVE YOU!!!! <3 :D_ ** **

Lauren reads over Camila’s messages with a bright smile on her face, because it’s been exactly one year since they’d started dating – technically they were a little off one year as girlfriends – but Lauren doesn’t care, because she’s been with Camila for an entire year and she’s already looking forward to next year, when they’ll be in college and living together in an apartment.

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:32AM): Happy anniversary, Camz! I’m so happy we’ve been together for a year._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:32AM): I KNOW IM SO EXCITED HENCE WHY IM ON CAPS LOCK!!!! AND ALSO WHY IM USING SO MANY EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!! SINCE I NEVER USE THEM SO LIKE WHY NOT ITS A SPECIAL OCCASION!!!!!!_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:32AM): Also you’re up before lunchtime which is surprising._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:33AM): duh i gotta be wide awake for my one year anniversary with the best human ever_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:33AM): Are you coming over?_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:34AM): u bet_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:34AM): i will be there in approx. fifteen mins for cuddles and kisses AND ALSO COOKIES I KNOW U MADE COOKIES BECAUSE U POSTED A PIC ON INSTA U BETTER HAVE SAVED A COOKIE FOR ME LOLO_ ** **

Lauren smiles to herself and stands up from the couch, stretches, and heads into the kitchen to where she’d left the cookies. She puts two of the biggest ones on a plate for Camila and sets it aside.

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:34AM): I didn’t save you a cookie. I saved you TWO cookies. :)_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:34AM): see this is why i love u_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:35AM): u know im constantly hungry and save me multiple cookies_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:35AM): no wonder weve been together for a year u know me too well lauren michelle_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:36AM): I’ll make you a full cake one day and you can have the whole thing to yourself._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:36AM): don’t tease me lo_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:36AM): i legit WILL take u up on this offer and a cabello never forgets_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:36AM): You forgot your science homework on Friday… clearly Cabellos do forget._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:36AM): …….fine_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:37AM): a cabello never forgets the IMPORTANT things like cake_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:37AM): I wasn’t kidding though, I will make you a cake one day if you want. I will surprise you with cake._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:37AM): u are the best girlfriend ever_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:38AM): Also I’ll make you arroz con leche, I’m so good at making that. I’m best at making Cuban things because my abuela taught me how to make them._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:38AM): literally marry me_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:38AM): NO I’M SUPPOSED TO ASK THAT I WANT TO BE THE ONE TO ASK_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:39AM): WELL WE CAN’T ALL GET WHAT WE WANT_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:39AM): That’s fine I’ll just be cute and you’ll let me do it._ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:39AM): ur cuteness can’t win u everything i actually have this little thing called willpower so like…. u aint gonna propose sorry lolo_ ** **

****_Camz <3 (11:39AM): i’ll still take the free cake tho if ur offering_ ** **

****_Lolo Jauregui <3 (11:40AM): Rude :(_ ** **

When Camila reads her message and doesn’t reply, Lauren puts her phone down on the couch and heads upstairs to get out of her pyjamas, deciding to wear a cropped black hoodie she’d bought recently and a pair of white shorts, because she knows that Camila likes it when she wears clothes that show skin, and she wants to make her girlfriend happy on their one year anniversary.

Once Lauren is dressed, she heads back downstairs after checking her Tumblr on her laptop, nearly jumping out of her skin when she sees Camila sat on the couch playing on her phone.

“How long have you been here?” Lauren announces her presence with a question, and Camila looks up with a smile. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

Camila shrugs. “Traffic was good. Got here about two minutes ago and saw your phone on the couch, so I figured you were in the bathroom or something.”

“Oh, okay then,” Lauren nods and rocks on her heels, “I was upstairs. You could’ve come up.”

“Well, I’m with you now,” Camila replies and holds out her arms, signalling that she wants Lauren to hug her. “Come here, baby.”

At Camila’s prompt, Lauren moves to sit on the couch and practically curls up in her girlfriend’s lap. “Happy anniversary, Camz. I wore- um, a cropped hoodie today, because I know you like my abs. Also, I like it when you tickle my tummy.”

Camila starts tracing circles on Lauren’s belly. “You could’ve worn your usual sweater and jeans, if you wanted.”

“I like this,” Lauren says, leaning up to kiss Camila. “You’ve been with me for a _year_. That’s really weird, because it doesn’t feel like a year. It’s gone fast.”

Camila shrugs. “Time flies when you’re having fun, babe.”

“Time can’t fly,” Lauren replies, “but I understand what you mean. It passes by faster when you’re happy. And that’s what time with you is like. Fast and fun.”

“So,” Camila ruffles Lauren’s hair and stretches, “what’s the plan for today?”

“Um…” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, “we’re going out for dinner. To a restaurant. And- um, afterwards I guess we’ll have a sleepover? You have your overnight things with you, yes?”

“Yeah,” Camila nods, “I’m ready to fall asleep next to my amazing girlfriend tonight.”

“Yes,” Lauren distractedly replies, “would you like to have sex with me tonight?”

Camila blinks in surprise. “What?”

Lauren sighs, “I _said_ -”

“No, I heard what you said,” Camila is quick to interrupt, “It was just kind of a curveball. Mostly you don’t ask until you’re actually… in the moment. Then you make sure you have the person’s consent.”

Lauren frowns. “Oh, well, I wanted to make sure you were willing to do it tonight. Because I figured it’d be nice if we did, it’s our one year anniversary and we haven’t done it since our first time at Disney. I also didn’t want to plan it in my mind and then when it gets to the time I want to do it, have you say no, because while it’s okay for you to say no if you don’t want to, that would mess up my schedule, so I would like to know in advance.”

“Oh,” Camila bites down on her bottom lip and shrugs, “well, sure. I’m up for it. If you are.”

“Yes, I am,” Lauren nods and looks up at Camila with a smile, “I have been reading some more things online that I would like to try. Would you like me to- um, dirty talk to you?”

Camila bursts out laughing, and Lauren has no idea what she’s said. “No, Lo, please don’t. Dirty talk and things like that kind of make me cringe. It was perfect the last time we did it, and this time it’ll be just as amazing. I know that for a fact.”

“But- um, I read online that it’s _hot_ for a partner to dirty talk,” Lauren protests, grabbing her phone and getting up one of the pages she’s read. “See? It says it there.”

Camila reaches for her phone and closes the tab. “Lo? Maybe stick with… trusting your instincts, rather than what Google tells you. The internet can be pretty deceiving, you know.”

“Well, yes, but…” Lauren frowns and taps on her leg. “I want to make sex good for you. I want to do all of the things people say are _hot_. Do you- _oh!_ I know.”

Camila watches as Lauren searches through her history and opens up a specific web page. “This one says to ask you what you like in bed. So… what do you like?”

“I like you,” Camila simply replies, “and I like it when you go with your instincts, baby.”

“But I don’t know what to do,” Lauren argues, “so… I think these sites might help. Please tell me if you have anything that- um, _turns you on_.”

“You,” Camila says again, “you turn me on. Sex is perfect with you no matter what, Lo.”

Lauren pouts. “Please just tell me what you like.”

“I am,” Camila kisses her cheek, “I like you. And tonight will be perfect so long as you’re there.”

“Fine,” Lauren sighs, “you don’t have to tell me. I will figure it out myself.”

-

“You didn’t have to pay for everything, you know.” Camila says as Lauren leads her back to the car. “It’s your anniversary too. You deserve to be treated just as much as me.”

Lauren frowns. “You can treat me next year. But this year I’m treating you.”

“I want to make you happy too though, baby,” Camila pouts and kisses Lauren under her ear. “Shall we stop and get some ice cream on the way back to yours? Is that something you’d like?”

“No, I want to go home,” Lauren says, “but treating you is making me happy. You spent so much on me this year, like when you took me to Disney for my birthday. The least I can do is pay for dinner on our anniversary.”

“Lauren,” Camila whines, “I want to make you happy though. I want to do something nice for you.”

Lauren frowns in thought and taps on her leg as she starts the car up. “You can- um… stimulate me orally. When we have sex later.”

Camila turns bright red and has to hold back her laugh at the words Lauren had used. “Did you basically just use fancy words to ask me to eat you out?”

“I- um,” Lauren blushes, “I don’t like the phrase _eat me out_. It’s not a nice phrase at all. But, um- in short, yes. That’s what I’d like you to do.”

“Alright then,” Camila nods, “I’ll _stimulate you orally_.”

Lauren blushes even harder, if that’s possible. “You’re not funny, you know. It’s rude to make fun of me.”

“I’m not trying to be funny,” Camila points out, “just using the words you want me to use, Lolo.”

“But- but you said it with a weird tone, and I can’t tell what it means,” Lauren says, “so I’m worried you’re making fun of me.”

“No, baby,” Camila shakes her head, “I tease you sometimes, but I’d never openly make fun of you in a mean way.”

Lauren pouts. “I don’t like it when people tease me.”

“I won’t tease you anymore then.” Camila promises. “I swear. No more teasing as long as you bring back your cute little smile. Okay?”

Lauren beams. “Okay. No more teasing.”

Camila reaches over and holds her hand out, smiling when Lauren reaches and squeezes it. “I love you, Lo. And I don’t mean to tease, but sometimes you say things and they’re just so funny but in a cute way. You get me?”

“Um… yes,” Lauren nods, “I understand. But I can’t tell when I say cute-funny things. It just happens sometimes.”

“I know that,” Camila nods, “and I’d never make fun of you for things that happen because of your autism. Okay? I’d never make fun of you for that. But I _will_ make fun of you for saying stuff like _stimulate me orally_. Because that’s just damn funny.”

“What happened to ‘no more teasing’?” Lauren asks with a pout. “You don’t have to- um, eat me out later. Not if you don’t want to.”

Camila laughs. “Of course I want to. I’m looking forward to making you feel good, baby.”

Lauren blushes. “Yes. Thank you. I will- um, eat you out too. If you want.”

“You’re so awkward when it comes to asking for sex, Lo,” Camila points out, “it was like that with kissing first. You’d always really awkwardly ask me to kiss you and it was the cutest thing. If you want something, just _ask_ , babe. I promise I won’t make fun of you.”

“But… I don’t know how to do these things,” Lauren admits as she pulls into her driveway, “I don’t know… when it’s okay to ask, and _how_ to ask. Because- um, a lot of this stuff is implied and I know that, but I don’t pick up on a lot of it, and I know that must be hard for you-”

“Nope,” Camila interrupts, shaking her head, “it’s not hard. I know that if I want something from you, I should ask. Like if I want to make out, I’m going to say, _hey, Lo, let’s make out_ , and you’d generally be like _sure Camz_ , unless we’re watching The Lion King and then it’s _after the movie_. It’s the same for you with me. If you want something from me, ask.”

“But then I ask and you laugh,” Lauren says, “like earlier, I asked if you wanted to have sex tonight and you laughed.”

“Like I said then, most people wait until the actual time. But you’re not most people and I get that.” Camila assures her. “Lo, we’ve been together for a year. I understand that you do things differently and I don’t laugh in a bad way. It’s like a fond kind of thing, because I think it’s so sweet that you asked.”

“I just don’t get all of this sex stuff,” Lauren sighs and bites down on her lip. “But it’s okay. I’m working it out. How do most people do it?”

“Well, generally they’d already have some kind of… thing going.” Camila tries to explain, “Like… they’d be making out and in bed and then it’s just kind of like… they do it. Without asking anything other than ‘do you want to’ to the other person. Not scheduling it at half eleven the morning before.”

“Oh,” Lauren frowns, “okay then. I will ask you next time when we make out.”

Camila shakes her head, “No, Lo. I like the way you do things better.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods, smiling at Camila’s words, “I will not do anything different next time, then. Anyway, can we go inside now? I’d like to- um, do… things.”

“You can use your cute little technical terms, baby,” Camila kisses her cheek, “I think it’s adorable.”

Lauren nods again, “Okay. Let’s go inside.”

When they get into Lauren’s house, the lights are off, and Camila can’t help but be a little happy that Lauren’s family aren’t home. Not that she doesn’t like talking to Lauren’s family, but she’d definitely much rather do what they’re about to do.

Lauren leads her upstairs by her hand and into her bedroom, and Camila kicks the door closed behind her because she remembers that Lauren hates open doors, and she wants her girlfriend to be completely comfortable.

(Also, Camila doesn’t exactly want anyone to walk in on them.)

When they get to Lauren’s bed, Camila rests her hands on her girlfriend’s waist and kisses her softly, tugging Lauren’s bottom lip between her teeth and smiling when her girlfriend lets out a little moan as Camila deepens the kiss.

Camila moves her hand up to trace along Lauren’s jawline, taking in every inch of her girlfriend’s soft skin as she kisses her, fingers disappearing into raven hair and locking together at the back of Lauren’s neck.

Lauren pulls away and blinks at her, bright emerald meeting chocolate brown as Lauren maintains eye contact. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Camila says, the words feeling more like a promise than anything else as she kisses along Lauren’s soft jawline.

Camila pauses for a moment, her fingers weaving through Lauren’s messy hair as she looks over her girlfriend, taking in Lauren’s beautiful curves, the way her stomach is toned but squishy, the small beauty marks dotted across her skin, making little constellations that Camila wants to learn everything about.

Lauren smiles at her, her nose crinkling and her emerald eyes so bright, ducking her head and showing her the little double chin that Camila finds absolutely adorable. Camila tilts Lauren’s head up by the chin and kisses her girlfriend again, smiling against Lauren’s lips as the older Latina deepens the kiss and her tongue does that thing that makes Camila’s stomach do backflips.

Camila moves forwards and Lauren ends up laying down, her head on one of her pillows, looking up at Camila with bright eyes. Camila pulls her girlfriend’s cropped sweater off, not surprised at all when Lauren isn’t wearing a bra, and smiles to herself when she feels Lauren pull her shirt over her head and fiddle with the clasp on her bra.

Camila tosses her bra to the other side of the room and dots kisses along Lauren’s neck, trailing down her sternum and to her breasts. When she feels Lauren’s hands on her ass, she shakes her head and pulls away. “No, Lo. Tonight is about you.”

Lauren mumbles something against her, but Camila doesn’t hear, because her girlfriend’s voice is muffled by her shoulder. Camila takes her time to kiss a trail down to Lauren’s breasts before slowly moving her hands up, caressing the soft skin and massaging the hardening tip.

Lauren whimpers when Camila takes her left breast into her mouth, softly sucking at the nipple, all while massaging the right one with her hand. “Camz…”

“Tonight is all about you, angel,” Camila says as she kisses around Lauren’s breasts, making sure to give each one the time and appreciation it deserves, because Lauren’s beauty isn’t something Camila sees every day. “Tonight is about showing you how much I love and care about you.”

“Camila,” Lauren murmurs as Camila starts to undo the buttons on her shorts, “you don’t have to-”

“No, baby girl,” Camila cuts her off, “I want to. I want to make you feel good. Okay?”

“Okay,” Lauren nods, her fingers playing with Camila’s as the younger Latina slides off Lauren’s shorts and her own jeans. “I wore my sexy lingerie for this.”

Camila smiles and teases Lauren’s entrance over the lacy black thong her girlfriend is wearing. “I know, babe. I really love it, too.”

Lauren bucks her hips upwards and lets out a small whine as Camila goes back to kissing her breasts, all while tracing circles over her girlfriend’s centre through her panties. “Camz… _please_. Please- um, fuck me.”

“Lauren,” Camila kisses her girlfriend’s neck and sucks on the sensitive skin on her pulse point. “Be you. Not what some random internet article told you to be.”

Lauren takes Camila’s advice, because the next time she moves her hips up to meet Camila’s hand, the older Latina murmurs, “Please make love to me.”

Camila smiles, because this is what she wants. She doesn’t want Lauren to repeat some awkward dirty talk she’s read online, because that’s not who Lauren is. Lauren is the girl who refers to sex as ‘making love’ and who calls eating out ‘oral stimulation’. Lauren isn’t sexy in the conventional way, she’s sexy in her own way, and that’s what Camila loves the most about her.

Camila pulls Lauren’s panties down and discards them somewhere else in the room, shuffling down to kiss up her girlfriend’s inner thigh, taking her time and making sure to give each little spot the appreciation it should be given. Lauren lets out a whine again and Camila knows what she wants, so she carefully kisses up to Lauren’s centre and sucks on her girlfriend’s clit, eliciting a moan from the older girl.

Camila teases Lauren’s entrance with two fingers as she sucks on her girlfriend’s clit, before gently moving them both inside and thrusting them in an out, making sure to go slowly and curl them in all the right places. She knows that Lauren isn’t going to last long – the older Latina is already tightening around her fingers – so Camila keeps the pace she’s at, tracing stories and song lyrics and words of love across Lauren’s clit until her girlfriend lets out a loud moan and a, “ _Camz, I’m- coming,”._ She massages Lauren’s clit with her thumb and helps her girlfriend ride out her orgasm, kissing up Lauren’s belly and finally reaching her girlfriend’s mouth when Lauren’s nothing more than a shaky mess.

Lauren is the one to pull apart from the kiss. “Do you want me to-”

“No,” Camila shakes her head, knowing what the end of that sentence is, “not tonight. Like I said, tonight is about you. I wanted to make you feel good.”

“You did,” Lauren is quick to assure her. “I promise. You really did.”

“Good,” Camila smiles and dots kisses along Lauren’s cheek. “Anyway. Now that’s done, we’re going to do something else to make you feel good.”

“What?” Lauren asks with a frown. “I’m quite tired, I don’t think I could do that again-”

“We’re going to watch _The Lion King_.” Camila announces, watching how her girlfriend’s face breaks out into one of the biggest smiles she’s ever seen.

Lauren practically falls out of bed in a hurry to put the movie on, and Camila watches her with a fond smile, curling up next to her when the now-familiar movie starts to play.

 _Yeah_ , Camila thinks as she watches her girlfriend become completely enamoured with the movie, _best year of my life._


	46. Chapter 46

Lauren knocks on the door and rocks on her heels, holding out her overnight bag as she waits for it to open. When the door swings open and she sees Camila with a bowl of candy, she smiles and says, “Trick or treat!”

Camila laughs and beckons her inside. “Come on, dork. Get out of the cold.”

“I’m not-” Lauren frowns as Camila ushers her in, “I wasn’t kidding. Give me some candy.”

Camila grabs a Reese’s peanut butter cup, unwraps it and shoves it in her girlfriend’s mouth. “There. Happy Halloween.”

Once Lauren has chewed through the peanut butter cup, she wipes her mouth and sends Camila a smile. “I like your costume. Harley Quinn. Nice.”

“Thanks, baby,” Camila grins and kisses her cheek. “Nice vampire costume. I’m sure Sofi’s going to love seeing ‘Lamp’ come to life in front of her.”

“What time are we taking her trick or treating until?” Lauren asks, rocking on her heels. “And when are we setting off?”

“We’re going at around five. It’s kind of too early right now and my mom is still getting the decorations up. Plus, Sofi is busy getting ready. She stole some of my makeup and insisted on doing it herself, so she’s probably going to take about six hours.” Camila estimates, putting the candy bowl down by the door.

(Lauren steals another peanut butter cup when she’s not looking.)

“Shall I go help her while you’re waiting for any early trick or treaters?” Lauren asks, not being very subtle as she unwraps the peanut butter cup. “She might let me help her.”

“You can try.” Camila nods towards the stairs. “At least it’ll stop you from stealing the trick or treater candy.”

Lauren blushes and darts behind Camila to steal a third peanut butter cup. “You’ll never stop me from doing that. See you in a little while.”

With that, Lauren runs upstairs and knocks on Sofi’s door to warn her that someone is coming in, before opening it up and sending her girlfriend’s sister a bright smile. “Hi, Sofi! Happy Halloween!”

Sofi turns around with Camila’s eyeliner pencil in her hand. “L-Lamp!”

“Camz told me you’re taking a while to get ready. Shall I help you?” Lauren asks, sitting down on the end of Sofi’s bed. “I’m not very good at doing makeup, but that’ll make it scarier.”

Sofi looks her over and points to her eye makeup, because Lauren had made her mom put a lot of black eyeliner on her to give her a more ‘vampire’ look. “Yes. Do it l-like yours, p-please.”

Lauren takes the eyeliner and frowns. “My mom did mine. My little sister helped too. Her name is Taylor. She’s not little like you, she’s fourteen right now, but still… she’s still the baby of the family.”

“Fourteen is old,” Sofi points out, and Lauren shakes her head, because fourteen is definitely not old. Fourteen is tiny to her.

“It’s not old.” Lauren rolls her eyes as she starts with Sofi’s eyeliner. “I think twenty is really old, but I’m only two years away from that, which is kind of scary. I don’t really want to turn twenty.”

Sofi frowns. “K-Kaki is three years a-away.”

“Yeah, but that’s because she’s a year younger than me.” Lauren says. “Well, eight months. Anyway, do you have a witch hat ready? You’re going as a witch, right?”

“O-over there,” Sofi points to the flattened witch hat on her bed, and then up to Lauren’s mouth. “Where are y-your fangs?”

Lauren shrugs. “Downstairs in my overnight bag. They’re kind of uncomfortable to wear, I don’t like them much. But I’ll wear them for realism when we’re taking you trick or treating. I do like this cape a lot, though.”

Sofi laughs as Lauren swishes her cape behind her. “It’s f-funny. Kaki is- um, H-Harley Quinn.”

“Yeah, I know, she looks really cool. I went to see Suicide Squad with her, but I didn’t really like it.” Lauren says, tapping on her leg. “But then I never like many movies like that anyway. But Camz looks good.”

“You’re Lamp,” Sofi says as Lauren finishes her eyeliner. “You’ll g-get lots of candy. You l-look really s-spooky.”

Lauren laughs. “I’ve already stolen three peanut butter cups from Camz. I’m going to steal another when we go downstairs, don’t tell her though. I love Reese’s.”

“I won’t, b-but you have to g-get me one t-too.” Sofi replies as Lauren packs away Camila’s makeup things. “C-can you p-pick me up?”

“In a minute, I need to make sure I have all of Camila’s makeup.” Lauren says, double checking Sofi’s messy dresser as she zips up her girlfriend’s makeup bag. “Go and put your witch hat on.”

Sofi does as she says, and once Lauren is certain she’s packed away all of Camila’s makeup, she picks Sofi up, dropping the makeup off in Camila’s room, and heads downstairs.

“Kaki!” Sofi shouts once they’re in her sister’s view. “L-Lamp helped m-me with my makeup!”

Camila smiles at the two of them. “That was good of her. Lauren’s super nice for offering to help. Even if you did yell at me when I tried to help you an hour ago.”

Sofi blushes. “I-I d-didn’t yell.”

“Obviously you favour Lauren over your own _sister_. That’s like, so rude.” Camila lets out a scoff in mock offence. “And here I am, sacrificing my Halloween to hang out with you.”

Lauren smiles and puts Sofi down, kissing Camila’s cheek. “I choose you over me. Like, I like hanging out with you, but I don’t know if I’d like hanging out with myself. I mean, I like my alone time, but… this really isn’t working, is it?”

“No, not really,” Camila laughs and pulls Lauren in for a real kiss. “But it’s cool. It’s cute when your attempts at being profound and romantic – which generally always work – fail.”

Lauren pouts. “I’m usually good at that stuff, though.”

“Exactly. Which is why it makes me laugh when you’re not.” Camila says, tapping Lauren on the end of her nose. “Anyway, are you hungry? I was going to make Sofi her lunch once she’s ready, and if you’re hungry you can have something too.”

“Alright. What do you have to eat?” Lauren asks, reaching for the candy bowl when Camila turns her back. “For lunch, I mean.”

“Well, not the contents of the candy bowl,” Camila turns and sends Lauren a smirk. “Come on, drop the peanut butter cup.”

Lauren unwraps it and stuffs it in her mouth, mumbling around the candy as she speaks. “Never.”

Sofi laughs as Lauren throws her a mini Hershey’s bar, and Camila lets out a long sigh as she walks towards the kitchen. “Mom, tell Sofi and Lauren off, they’re stealing all the candy.”

Sinu laughs as she passes them in the hall. “Let them have their fun, mija. So long as they don’t eat all of it.”

Lauren stuffs her candy wrapper into Camila’s back pocket with a giggle. “Last one, I swear.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Camila huffs and turns around to kiss Lauren’s cheek. “Only because you’re so cute. That’s the _only_ reason you’re getting off so lightly.”

“Thanks, Camz.” Lauren smiles. “You’re cute too. Anyway, what are we going to eat before we head out?”

“Probably just sandwiches.” Camila replies. “I’ll make Sofi cheese, since that’s her favourite. What do you want?”

“Oh, um,” Lauren pauses and rocks on her heels, “I don’t know. What do you have?”

Camila shrugs. “Well… anything, really. Just tell me what you want and I’ll tell _you_ if we have it.”

After thinking for a moment, Lauren says, “I would like a turkey sandwich with some plain potato chips on the side, please.”

“Alright, baby,” Camila nods and pulls her girlfriend down for a kiss, “one turkey sandwich coming right up. Do you want mayo on it?”

“Yes please,” Lauren nods, “otherwise it’d be all dry and awful.”

“Just double checking.” Camila says as she quickly makes Sofi a cheese sandwich and sends her to the living room with it. “Because you don’t like cereal with milk on, and that’s dry.”

“I only like Cheerios with no milk.” Lauren retorts. “Some cereals I like with milk. Like- um, Lucky Charms. But I don’t like Cheerios with milk.”

“Well, I’ve only ever seen you eat Cheerios.” Camila points out. “You have Cheerios every time you’re here for breakfast. Same when I stay at yours and we have breakfast together.”

“Well… that’s because they’re my favourite and I have Cheerios every morning with no milk.” Lauren says, rocking on her heels. “But- um, I had milk on them one time with you, when I stayed here for the first time, because I didn’t want you to think I was weird for not having milk on my cereal.”

Camila laughs. “You could’ve gone ahead and done it anyway. I probably would’ve thought it was cute. Because it is. You’re ridiculously cute.”

“No, you would’ve asked me why I didn’t want milk and then I would’ve been made to explain about how the milk starts tasting like Cheerios and it makes me feel sick.” Lauren explains. “And then you would’ve looked at me funny, you did that a lot back then.”

“I never meant to look at you funny, Lo.” Camila promises her. “Sometimes you just said a lot of confusing things and I’d never really understand what you were talking about.”

Lauren hums. “I guess that’s fair. But at the same time, you did think I was weird.”

“I did _not_.” Camila folds her arms across her chest. “I just didn’t understand you. But now I do, so it’s all okay.”

“Yes, we understand each other.” Lauren nods in confirmation.

"Yeah." Camila hands her a turkey sandwich and tosses a bag of potato chips at her. “Let me know if this is any good.”

Lauren takes a bite and sticks her thumb up to show Camila she likes it. Mumbling around the bite, she nods. “It’s really good. You’re good at making sandwiches.”

“Thanks, baby,” Camila smiles and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “You’re the sweetest.”

“Anyway, if we’re setting off to trick or treat at around five like you said, what are we going to do until then?” Lauren asks. “It’s two now. Why’d you tell me to come over so early?”

“Well, since you like a schedule and a plan, I made one on my phone.” Camila slides her phone across the table to Lauren. “Two until five – pumpkin carving. Five until eight – trick or treating with Sofi. Eight until whenever we’re tired – Halloween movies and pizza with my Lolo.”

Lauren reads over the plan and smiles to herself. “You made a plan for me. Because you know I like structure.”

Camila laughs. “Well, yeah. Halloween should be fun for everyone and if you want a schedule, you’re getting a schedule.”

“You’re the _best_ , Camzi.” Lauren puts her turkey sandwich down on the counter and wraps her arms around Camila, kissing her happily. “Thank you for being- you’re just so- you _get it_. And it makes me so happy.”

Camila hears Lauren sniffle and she frowns, pulling away just enough to see that her girlfriend is crying. “Hey, Lo, don’t cry.”

“Happy tears,” Lauren wipes them away and smiles at her, making eye contact for a few moments before kissing her cheek. “You make my heart so happy.”

“All of this just because I made a little plan?” Camila laughs and squeezes Lauren around the waist. “It’s not a big deal, Lo.”

“You _get_ it.” Lauren looks up at her again, bright green meeting chocolate brown. “You get _me_.”

Camila leans in and kisses her, tracing her thumb across Lauren’s cheek and wiping away any residual happy tears. “You’re meant for me, Lo. Of course I’m going to understand you. I’m your angel and you’re mine, and it’s both of our jobs to understand each other.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods and her grip around Camila’s waist slackens. “We understand each other. It just- it makes me feel so fuzzy when you do things like make a schedule for the day or make sure the place we’re going to is quiet or even just signalling that you’re going to touch me or not telling me to look at you when I talk. You don’t try to make me be ‘normal’. You let me be me and I- I love you so much for it.”

“I love you, Lo. Every part of you.” Camila squeezes her girlfriend’s wrist. “I love the way you ramble about your special interests. I love your stims. I love how when you let me look into your eyes, I get so lost in them. I love how you always wear your cuddly sweaters. Every. Little. Thing.”

Lauren stares over her shoulder at one of the pumpkins. “Can I make a Nala pumpkin?”

“Okay, quick change of topic.” Camila laughs, not even surprised, because Lauren sometimes gets distracted and that’s okay. “But sure, babe. We could print out a template and-”

“No, I am good at art, I will not need a template,” Lauren is quick to reply. “Anyway, thank you for saying all of those lovely things about me, I am sorry that I got distracted by making a Nala pumpkin. But I really appreciate everything you said, and I love everything about you too, because now you’re not wearing that awful orange bracelet anymore.”

Camila smiles and kisses Lauren’s temple. “Finish your sandwich, babe. I’ll go and see if Sofi’s ready to carve pumpkins yet.”

“Okay,” Lauren picks her sandwich up again and watches as Camila heads out of the room and into the lounge. Once her girlfriend is out of sight, Lauren uses one hand to open up Camila’s phone and google _Nala pumpkin_ , looking for a decent design to copy. When she doesn’t find one she likes, Lauren decides to do it from memory and goes to close the tab, frowning when she sees a google search ‘ _how to draw people realistically_ ’ open in another tab.

When Camila comes back into the room with the news that Sofi hasn’t finished her sandwich yet, Lauren decides to ask her. “Camz? Why do you have a tab about how to draw people open?”

Camila’s eyes widen and she grabs her phone from Lauren. “That’s nothing.”

“But… if you want art lessons, you could’ve just asked me.” Lauren rolls her eyes, because google is often unreliable, and Lauren helped Dinah improve on her art before, so she knows she’s a good teacher. “I’m good at teaching people, and I already tutor you in science.”

“Yeah, but- it’s not like that,” Camila lets out a sigh, “this is really embarrassing but I kind of wanted to surprise you by doing a portrait of you. But… I suck at drawing. So, I looked up how to.”

Lauren laughs. “Camz, I already have a drawing from you. It’s on my bedroom wall, you did it last year.”

“No, Lo,” Camila shakes her head, “I meant like, a good drawing of you. One that’s not just a stick person with green eyes.”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and tries her best to hold in her laugh, but it doesn’t really work. “But… Camz, you suck at art.”

“I know that. That’s why I consulted google.” Camila points out. “It’s not like I could ask you, because I wanted to _surprise_ you with a portrait. And Dinah would’ve laughed at me. Google doesn’t laugh at you, Lo.”

Lauren doesn’t bother holding back her laugh this time. “You’re funny. Let’s leave the art to me, okay, Camz? Oh, I know! I have- um, I have a self-portrait I did for class last year when we were doing portraiture. It’s in my old sketchbook, the one you have, so you can just tear it out and give it to me at a time I’m not expecting it and act like you did it.”

Camila shakes her head. “The whole point was that I’d be the one who drew it.”

“I will do the art.” Lauren says, rocking on her heels. “You can- you can write me music. I’d love that.”

“Alright,” Camila nods, “we’ll stick to our respective interests. You know, aside from your piano playing.”

“Yes, I’m quite good at piano,” Lauren smiles to herself, “anyway, can we make a Nala pumpkin now?”

“Sure, babe.” Camila nods and walks across the room to give her girlfriend one of the three pumpkins her mother had bought at her request. “You can carve whatever you want. I’m going to get Sofi and help her carve hers. Then _you’re_ going to help _me._ ”

Lauren frowns. “You don’t need my help with your pumpkin.”

“Lauren… I can barely make any form of art on _paper_ , let alone a pumpkin,” Camila points out, “plus, I don’t exactly trust myself with that carving knife considering I’m kind of clumsy.”

“You’re more than _kind of_ clumsy,” Lauren replies, and Camila laughs at her girlfriend’s bluntness, “but okay. I’ll help you with your pumpkin.”

“Thanks, baby,” Camila smiles and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “I’m going to go see Sofi. Hopefully she’s finished her sandwich now.”

“Okay,” Lauren picks up the carving knife and starts to cut a hole in the top of the pumpkin. “Okay. I will start emptying this one out. Can you get me a bowl before you go?”

Camila reaches into the cupboard and puts a bowl and a large spoon in front of Lauren as her girlfriend finishes cutting a hole in the top. Then, Lauren completely disregards the spoon and rips out the pumpkin seeds with her hand, dumping them in the bowl.

Camila laughs, “Not bothering with a spoon, then?”

Lauren digs her hand back into the pumpkin and drops more seeds in the bowl. “No. This is a nice stim. It’s really cool and squishy.”

“Okay then,” Camila laughs, kissing Lauren’s cheek before making her way into the lounge, taking her sister’s empty plate. “I take it you’re done?”

“Y-yep,” Sofi nods and points to the TV, “A-Adventure Time is o-on though.”

“Too bad. It’s pumpkin time,” Camila picks her up from the couch, ignoring her sister’s protests. “Lamp and I are going to help you carve your pumpkin. You can do an Adventure Time one if you’d like.”

“Yeah!” Sofi seems to perk up as Camila sets her down, both of them looking to Lauren, whose bushy eyebrows are furrowed and she’s sticking her tongue out in concentration as she scrapes the hard to get bits of pumpkin guts out with a spoon.

“Are you nearly finished, Lolo?” Camila asks, peering into Lauren’s pumpkin to see it nearly empty. “Do you still need the spoon?”

Lauren hands it over. “No, I can do the rest with my fingers. I’m good with my hands.”

Camila nearly chokes on air at Lauren’s words, her girlfriend not at all picking up on what she’d just said. “Yeah. Yeah, you are.”

Camila gets a separate carving knife for herself and Sofi, and starts cutting out the top of the pumpkin, similar to Lauren. Then when she passes Sofi the spoon for her sister to scoop out the seeds inside, Lauren pushes her empty pumpkin towards them and takes the fresh one. “I will do this.”

Sofi frowns. “You _l-like_ that p-part?”

“Yes, it’s a nice stim,” Lauren repeats the words she’d used with Camila, “I will do yours too, Camz.”

“Alright then,” Camila leans over and kisses Lauren’s cheek, before handing a pen to Sofi, “do you want to sketch out a design?”

“Okay,” Sofi nods and starts drawing with the marker, and Camila watches as she sketches out a shaky drawing that looks vaguely like Jake the Dog from Adventure Time. “D-done!”

By the time Sofi is ready to carve, Lauren has already emptied out Camila’s pumpkin too, and is waiting for the marker, presumably so she can draw a Nala outline. Camila generally lets Sofi do the carving, helping her out with the tough corners and the little details, and when they’re finished, she’s pretty sure they’ve done a good job, and she lights a candle and hands the pumpkin to Sofi, telling her to take it outside.

She watches after her sister with a satisfied smile and when she turns to Lauren to see her pumpkin, her jaw drops, because she hadn’t done a Nala one after all. She’d literally recreated Van Gogh’s _Starry Night._ On a fucking _pumpkin_.

Lauren looks up at her, not noticing her shock, and rocks backwards and forwards in her heels. “Shall I go put this in the window too?”

“How the- _what_?” Camila blinks at Lauren’s pumpkin, “What happened to you doing Nala?”

“Well, I saw a _Starry Night_ design and thought it was really interesting to look at, I love the way the light shines through it because it makes it yellow, not orange,” Lauren says, “I hate orange.”

“Yeah, but- you just replicated a literal masterpiece. Onto a pumpkin.” Camila gestures towards the pumpkin to make sure Lauren fully understands why she’s so shocked. “And it _doesn’t_ look like shit.”

Lauren shrugs. “I’m good at art.”

“Yeah, but- _pumpkin art_?” Camila stares at her in shock. “I thought mine and Sofi’s was good. But this? This is actual art.”

“Well, like I said, you know I’m good at art.” Lauren replies. “But do you want me to put this in the window or not?”

“Uh, yeah,” Camila blinks in surprise, “sure.”

Lauren hums in acknowledgement and leaves the room, leaving Camila still in a state of shock, because she definitely hadn’t been suspecting that. When Lauren comes back, Camila pushes her pumpkin towards her.

“Why are you giving me this?” Lauren asks. “It’s yours. Anyway, can we watch the new _Ghostbusters_ tonight? Because I’m- um, it has good representation. Like- Holtzmann is queer and autistic. I like watching movies with autistic people in, but only if it’s done well. If you know what I mean.”

“Okay, one – I want you to do my pumpkin for me,” Camila starts, “and two – sure, we’ll watch it. I didn’t know one of the characters was autistic.”

“Well, it’s not explicitly stated, but- um, I related to her a lot. Like- she has special interests in mechanics and things and she shows examples of echolalia and there’s just- lots of things I could relate to with her character,” Lauren rambles, “also, I would like to carve this pumpkin together. If you want. Can we do a Nala one this time?”

“Sure. Also, out of interest, what’s echolalia?” Camila asks, before adding, “and we’ll watch _Ghostbusters_ second. I already planned _Hocus Pocus_ first, because that’s a Halloween classic.”

“Oh, I love _Hocus Pocus_ ,” Lauren smiles, “It makes me laugh when the witch rides on a vacuum cleaner because they get their brooms stolen.”

“It’s a good movie,” Camila replies as Lauren sketches an outline for Nala and starts to carve the biggest parts out. “After _Ghostbusters_ , what do you want to watch? If we’re not tired, that is.”

“We could watch… um, _Ghost Adventures_?” Lauren replies. “It’s not a movie but the show makes me laugh a lot because it’s really over the top. Or we could watch _Alien_. The _Alien_ series is so good.”

“It is,” Camila agrees, “but you never answered my question, babe.”

“Oh,” Lauren blinks, her eyes widening in realisation. “The one about echolalia?”

“Yeah,” Camila nods, “what is it?”

“Well, it’s like… repetition, I guess. That’s the easiest way to put it.” Lauren replies. “Of like… a lot of the time it’s of other people’s phrases or words, but sometimes it’s your own. Like- uh, when we met, I would say ‘Camila is my friend’ a lot, even if it wasn’t related to what we were talking about. Because you were, at that point.”

Camila hums in thought. “I never noticed that before. I didn’t realise you did it.”

“I don’t, not much,” Lauren replies, starting to peel some of the pumpkin’s skin off, where the whites of Nala’s eyes are going to be. “Lucy does it quite a bit.”

“How is she?” Camila asks, steadying the pumpkin when Lauren struggles to pull the knife out. “Has she made up with Keana yet?”

“Yeah. Keana said sorry for shouting,” Lauren replies, “I texted them both to make sure, and Keana said that she’d apologised and took Lucy some of her favourite chocolates to make up for it. _And_ Keana promised she’d come to the autistic pride day that Lucy and I are going to have soon.”

“When’s that going to be?” Camila asks. “I want to make sure I’m there.”

“Oh, hopefully two weeks on Saturday, but we don’t know if Vero is going to be working yet,” Lauren says, “Lucy told me she’s going to ask Vero when she’s working and then we’re going to have it on a day she definitely isn’t.”

“Okay then,” Camila nods, “let me know when it is. I want to be there to support you and Lucy and all the other autistic cuties I haven’t met yet.”

Lauren smiles and kisses Camila’s cheek. “You’re an allistic cutie.”

“Yep,” Camila ruffles Lauren’s hair and watches as Lauren grabs a candle and puts it inside the half finished Nala pumpkin. “You’ve not finished carving yet, babe.”

“Yes, but I need to check if the bits I’ve skinned are deep enough,” Lauren says, switching off the kitchen light and humming in satisfaction when they’re light enough. “Okay. That’s fine. I will do it all like this.”

“I’m going to trust your judgement.” Camila laughs, “You’re the artist.”

“Yes. I’m the artist,” Lauren nods, “can you hold the pumpkin steady for me for a moment?”

“Sure,” Camila nods and holds the pumpkin, Lauren ducking under her arms, her back pressing against Camila’s stomach. Lauren carves for a few moments and then sends her a small smile. “Are you done?”

“Yep,” Lauren smiles and turns around to kiss Camila. “Nala can go in the window now.”

“Okay. Go put your pumpkin in there and I’ll go and get Sofi from wherever the hell she’s run off to.” Camila says, worriedly ducking her head around the door to the lounge and letting out a sigh of relief when she sees her sister on the couch watching cartoons. “We can watch a bit of TV until we go trick or treating.”

“Okay,” Lauren smiles and kisses her cheek. “See you in a minute.”

-

Sofi pours out the contents of her bag straight onto the couch, and Camila knows that she’s going to be the one who has to pick it all up later. “L-look at all the c-candy I got!”

Camila smiles. “Yeah. Do you plan on sharing that, or…?”

Sofi laughs, “Kaki! N-no!”

“Um, I think I deserve some candy after taking you out for three hours.” Camila points out, turning to her girlfriend with a pout. “Lolo. Back me up.”

“Yes, Camz should get candy,” Lauren looks up from her phone with a smile. “You gave me candy, Sofi. Camz should get some too.”

Sofi lets out a long sigh and gives Camila a few fun size candy bars, and the older Cabello sends her a triumphant smile. “Now you’re being fair. Good.”

“It’s m-my candy,” Sofi pouts, “I gave L-Lamp some because s-she stole me a peanut b-butter c-cup.”

“Yeah, well… I’m your _sister_.” Camila defends herself. “I’m like, a _god_ to you.”

Lauren happily munches on the chocolate bars Sofi had given her. “Leave her alone, Camz. You got your candy.”

“This is why she loves you.” Camila points out, “You defend her over me.”

“I’d never defend anyone over you,” Lauren replies, “you’re my girlfriend and like you told me ages ago, defending you is in the job description.”

“You’re sweet,” Camila beams, “I’d defend you, too. My hand still kind of has a bruise on it from punching Luis, actually. Still worth it though.”

Lauren laughs. “I still wish I could’ve seen you do that. But his bruised nose at school on that Monday was funny enough.”

“As much as I wished you could’ve witnessed it, he called you the ‘r’ word and I know what that does to you.” Camila points out. “It made me incredibly angry. Hence the punch.”

“You p-punched someone?” Sofi asks with a frown. “W-when?”

“When someone didn’t give me any of their candy.” Camila sends her sister a teasing smile. “Come on. Cough another Hershey’s bar up.”

“H-here.” Sofi throws a cookies n’ cream bar at Camila and it hits her on the head, making Lauren laugh as the younger Latina glares at her.

“What?” Lauren picks up on her glare. “It was funny.”

Camila shrugs and eats the chocolate in one bite. “Worth it for the candy, honestly.”

“You’d do anything for candy, though.” Lauren points out. “I don’t like chocolate and candy much. I snack on carbs rather than sugar.”

“Oh, that’s convenient, considering my sister gave you _way_ more than she gave me.” Camila basically jumps her girlfriend and steals a few candy bars. “Take _that_ , Lauren Michelle.”

As Camila goes to move away, Lauren pulls her back so she’s sat in her lap, and while Lauren’s usually the one that sits in her lap when they cuddle, Camila curls closer to her girlfriend, because she loves it when Lauren holds her.

“What time do you go to bed, Sofi?” Lauren asks, resting her chin on Camila’s shoulder. “Is it soon?”

“Eight th-thirty,” Sofi answers, looking up at the clock and pouting. “K-Kaki, can I-”

“Nope,” Camila interrupts. “Partially because the vicious and terrifying Lamp over here and I want to cuddle and watch movies, but mostly because you didn’t give me much candy.”

As Sofi opens her mouth to protest, Lauren nods in agreement. “Yeah, Camz will read you a bedtime story if you want, though.”

“Y-yes please,” Sofi nods, and Camila picks her up and heads towards the stairs. “Goodnight, L-Lamp! Thank you f-for taking me trick or treating.”

“Night, Sofi,” Lauren smiles, and once Camila and Sofi have disappeared up the stairs, Lauren stretches and turns the TV on, picking up Camila’s _Hocus Pocus_ and putting it on so the DVD menu is on the screen.

Then, she heads over to her overnight bag and picks up Nala, tossing her on the couch, before getting her Simba onesie out of her bag and tugging it on. She settles on the couch with Nala in her arms and uses the fabric of her Simba onesie to stim, waiting for Camila to come downstairs.

“Whoa,” Camila says when she comes back into the room, “Hi there, Simba.”

Lauren blushes. “My dad bought me this as a present a few weeks ago. He tried finding a Nala one but he couldn’t. But it’s okay, I like Simba lots too.”

Camila cups her face and pulls her in for a kiss. “You’re the cutest. This feels really soft. I bet you love stimming with it.”

“I do!” Lauren excitedly replies. “I like rubbing the material between my thumb and forefinger. It’s such a good relaxation stim.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip to hide her smile, her eyes shimmering with something that Lauren doesn’t recognise. “You look so happy right now.”

Lauren feels her cheeks heat up. “I’m very happy. I’m always happy with you, Camz.”

“I know, it’s just-” Camila cuts herself off with a smile, “I love your confidence, Lo. You’ve come so far since I’ve met you and it’s only been a year. That’s not that long in the grand scheme of things.”

Lauren shrugs. “Mani said something like that. She said that I’m more social now.”

“You definitely are,” Camila says, “you were so shy and awkward when you met me, and while you’re still introverted and you’re not going to go out of the way to be the most social human on the planet, you’re so much better at talking to new people. Like… the receptionist at Disney. You spoke to her about the big cats.”

“Oh, yes, I remember that,” Lauren nods, “that was mostly because I wanted to know what big cats they had. But then at the same time I wasn’t scared to ask like I usually would be.”

“Exactly,” Camila replies, “you’re getting so much more confident and it’s amazing to watch.”

Lauren blushes and pulls the hood up on her Simba onesie. “I’m trying to be… more confident, like you said. Because… I don’t know, it’s mostly just like how I want to be really… unapologetically me.”

“Good,” Camila smiles, “that’s what you should be. Unapologetically you. Because _you_ are perfect.”

Lauren snuggles her face into Camila’s neck and smiles. “Thank you. I won’t- um, you know how when we met, I was really quiet because I didn’t want to say anything weird? I don’t think I’ll still do that if we make a new friend. Because if they don’t like me for me, then what’s the point?”

Camila wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist. “I’m so proud of how far you’ve come, Lolo.”

“Yes,” Lauren beams. “Anyway, would you like to cuddle while we watch _Hocus Pocus_?”

“Lo, when do we _not_ cuddle when watching movies?” Camila points out. “Of course I want to snuggle you. You’re cuddly as hell.”

“Okay.” Lauren nuzzles her face into Camila’s neck with a smile and presses play on the movie. “Happy Halloween, Camz.”

Camila looks down at her with a soft smile that’s fuzzy around the edges, the one she reserves for Lauren and Lauren alone. “Happy Halloween, Lolo.”


	47. Chapter 47

“We’re doing individual speaking assignments.”

The second Camila hears the words, she looks over to Lauren, who is suddenly a lot tenser than she was before. _Speaking assignments_ would’ve been bad enough, but _individual_ ones? Talk about Lauren’s personal hell.

Camila shuffles closer to her girlfriend and holds out her hand, hoping that Lauren will take it. The older Latina favours clenching and unclenching her fingers as she watches their teacher explaining assignment guidelines.

“Lo?” Camila tries her best to soothe her girlfriend, not sure if her words are even registering in Lauren’s brain. “I’m sure she doesn’t mean you. She probably knows how nervous you’d be-”

“I wasn’t in a Spanish _class_ last year,” Lauren interrupts her, staring down at a little scratch on their desk. “I did one on one in my free periods instead. Because of the- uh, speaking requirements.”

“Well,” Camila tries to think of something positive. “We’ll talk to our teacher after class and see if she’ll let you out of it. If she refuses, we’ll get a note from Demi and see if that works.”

Lauren keeps clenching her fingers, and Camila knows that’s a negative stim. A stim that she doesn’t want Lauren to keep doing, because if she’s doing that, it means she’s upset. And an upset Lauren is her least favourite thing in the world.

“I don’t-” Lauren closes her eyes and lets out a long breath. “I don’t like public speaking. I’m not- I’m not good at it. And- um, I… it- I stutter when I’m nervous and people are mean…”

“Hey,” Camila murmurs, resting a hand on Lauren’s shoulder and sending her the most supportive smile she can muster. “We’ll get it sorted out. I promise.”

“It’s- um, 20%,” Lauren gestures towards the front of class, “of our grade. I can’t not do it.”

“Maybe… we’ll ask if you can do something else to make up for it.” Camila says. “If not… screw the 20%.”

“I can’t!” Lauren looks at her like she’s crazy, “It’ll ruin my GPA! It won’t be a 5.0 anymore, I can’t- I- _Camz_ -”

“Hey, Lo, _shush_ ,” Camila carefully takes her girlfriend’s hand as the bell signalling lunchtime rings, “It’s okay. We’ll work something out right now.”

“What- but,” Lauren frowns as Camila shushes her again. “It’s not- it won’t be okay!”

Once most of the class has left, Camila takes Lauren by the wrist and pulls her up to their teacher’s desk, not sure what to say, but only one thing on her mind.

“About the speaking assignments,” Camila introduces the topic, making sure to run her thumb over Lauren’s knuckles to calm her girlfriend down. “Is there any way for Lauren to skip out on it but have it not affect her grade?”

“No,” their teacher shakes her head and Camila’s heart nearly breaks at the sound of Lauren’s upset whimper, “it’s compulsory to complete a speaking module.”

“Well, uh,” Camila pauses in thought, “does it have to be individual? Like, could I work with her and do like a conversational kind of thing?”

Their teacher seems to consider it, and Camila carefully places a hand on the small of Lauren’s back and starts tracing circles, because she knows that calms her down. It’s not the most calming thing for Lauren – that’d be belly rubs – but it works enough that her girlfriend becomes less tense.

“Okay,” At the answer, Camila’s heart soars, “but you have to speak an equal amount. Considering you’re both native speakers, it shouldn’t be too hard for you.”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip. “I can’t- can you tell the class not to look at me? When we do it, I mean?”

“Oh, yeah,” Camila nods, “presenting in front of a minimal amount of people would be better. Lauren stutters when she’s nervous and the speaking assessment has points for fluency. It’d be unfair if she was disadvantaged because of that.”

Their teacher sighs and Camila feels her grip on Lauren’s hand tighten. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Okay, thanks,” Camila replies and turns to Lauren. “See? She’ll see what she can do.”

Lauren nods and taps the fingers on her free hand against her pants. “Okay. I am still- um, I’m still worried though. I don’t like public speaking.”

“Well,” Camila pauses in thought as she leads Lauren out of the languages block and towards the arts block. “We can do something fun this weekend to take your mind off it. How about that?”

Lauren hums in thought and lets go of Camila’s hand to dig through her backpack, finally producing Nala from it and cuddling her stuffed lion against her chest. “What kind of fun thing?”

Camila raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you’d brought Nala to school, babe.”

“Um… yes,” Lauren runs her fingers across her stuffed lion’s fur. “I need her. I- um, had a bad morning. I had- I had a meltdown at breakfast.”

Camila sends her girlfriend a sympathetic smile, holding the door to the art room open for her. “So that’s why you were nonverbal in the car.”

“Yes,” Lauren worries the fur on the end of Nala’s tail between her thumb and forefinger, “I was still- um, upset. But I’m okay now, just a little… weird. I always feel weird after a meltdown. I think- I think Chris’ friend… that Brad guy who comments on my Instagram… I think it was his fault.”

Camila frowns. “What happened, baby?”

“He- um, got too close,” Lauren sits down in her usual seat and taps on her leg. “I was already upset because I had a bad night’s sleep, but he- um, he was sat in my spot and I got really upset, and he moved and sat next to me and _touched_ me. And I didn’t like it.”

Camila’s stomach drops and she really wishes that it was appropriate for her to scoop Lauren up in her arms and give her endless belly rubs right now. But it’s not, because they’re in the middle of school. Typically. “What do you mean by ‘touched’, Lo? How did he touch you?”

Lauren closes her eyes and fiddles with Nala’s ear. “On my thigh, kind of like how you do, but it hurt because he didn’t tell me he wasn’t going to touch me and I didn’t give him permission. And he- um, asked me out. On a date. And wouldn’t leave me alone when I said no. And he kept touching me and got me in a corner in the living room and I had a meltdown and I really wanted to hit him, Camz.”

“I would’ve done it for you, if I was there,” Camila tells her, “nobody is allowed to upset my Lolo lion.”

“Yours,” Lauren murmurs, “I’m yours.”

“Yeah,” Camila kisses her temple. “You are, babe.”

“I love it when you- you call me,” Lauren pauses to take a breath, “when you call me your Lolo- Lolo lion. It makes me happy because I love lions.”

Lauren’s words give Camila an idea and she beams. “We’re going to the zoo this weekend.”

Lauren blinks in surprise. “We are? Oh, _yes_ , please tell me we’re going to _Zoo Miami_. They have really cool big cats! They have jaguars, Disney didn’t even have jaguars. They don’t have panthers though, I don’t think.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip to contain her smile. “Well, you can show me all the big cats and tell me loads of facts about them. Okay, babe?”

“Yes, I am really looking forward to this,” Lauren smiles to herself. “It’s taking my mind off my meltdown earlier. I do not like sensory overload. It makes me feel sick.”

Camila frowns. “Meltdowns are the same thing as sensory overload?”

“Well, yes, but I call the- like, when it’s as bad as it possibly can be,” Lauren pauses to hum out a note, “that’s when I call it a meltdown. When it’s bad but not at its worst, that’s what I just call sensory overload.”

“Oh,” Camila nods and stores that information away, “well, if you ever need me to help you through one, call me. Okay?”

“Okay,” Lauren nods, “I will. Can I tell you about lions now?”

Camila smiles and kisses her girlfriend’s cheek. “Sure, babe. Talk my ears off."

Lauren frowns at her expression, but she forgets about it when she starts rambling about lions and Camila is left thinking about how cute her girlfriend is when she rambles.

-

Camila bursts into Lauren’s bedroom, holding the parcel that’d just arrived at her house up in the air. “Lo! Did you get my text?”

Lauren looks up at her, not at all questioning the sudden entrance. “Um… no. I haven’t looked at my phone. Why?”

“Well, I texted you to say I was coming over.” Camila explains, flopping down on her girlfriend’s bed. “This wasn’t supposed to arrive until tomorrow and I was going to give you it then, but… I couldn’t wait. I have a present for you.”

Lauren blinks in confusion and sits up, carefully putting Nala to one side. “Okay. What is it?”

“Alright, so,” Camila rips open the little envelop and tips its contents into the palm of her hand, holding up two rings. “I saw these online and I just _had_ to buy them.”

Lauren looks them over with a frown. “They’re spinner rings. To stim with.”

“Exactly,” Camila nods, “but they’re a pair. One says hakuna and one says matata.”

When Lauren’s jaw drops, Camila has to hold back her laugh, but her smile fights to be seen. “Where did you get them?”

Camila drops the _hakuna_ ring into Lauren’s palm and watches as the older Latina stares at it in awe. “Amazon, actually. Like I said, they weren’t supposed to come until tomorrow and when I saw the parcel at home I like, nearly had a heart attack because it’d barely been half an hour since I’d seen you and I just _had_ to give it to you now.”

Lauren pouts as Camila takes the _hakuna_ ring back. “I want to wear it now. I’d like to stim with it.”

“This one,” Camila holds up the _hakuna_ ring, ignoring Lauren’s request for now, “is for you. Mostly because _hakuna_ was your very first word, and it’s the first word in the phrase and _you’re_ the most important thing to me. You come first, like _hakuna_.”

Lauren watches with wide eyes as Camila slides the ring onto the ring finger on her left hand. “Is the other one for you?”

“Yep,” Camila nods, “because _hakuna_ without _matata_ is incomplete. We complete each other, like how _hakuna_ kind of makes no sense without _matata_.”

Lauren spins the ring with her thumb and smiles. “It doesn’t squeak. My squid one sometimes does, but I’ve had that for a long time.”

“Do you like it?” Camila asks, frowning when Lauren takes the _matata_ ring from her. “Why’d you steal mine?”

“I want to put it on you.” Lauren says, and smiles in satisfaction when she slides the ring onto Camila’s ring finger. “There. Perfect. I love them so much, Camzi.”

Camila watches as Lauren happily spins her ring. “Good. Because- uh, okay, this is where I’m going to get pretty cheesy.”

“Cheesy?” Lauren frowns. “Why?”

“So- uh, I decided that I’m going to let you propose. When we’re older, obviously. But I wanted the… experience, I guess.” Camila voices her thoughts and ducks her head, looking anywhere but Lauren. “Since you’re going to be the one to propose – I figure you’ve already got it all planned out – I wanted to do this. That’s not just a ring that you can stim with, Lo. It’s a promise. A promise that I’ll always be there for you, on good days and bad days and all the in between days. A promise that I’ll always be by your side, ready to defend you if you need defending. And a promise that I’ll always love you and every little thing that comes with it, Lolo.”

Lauren sniffles, and Camila looks up, because the last thing she wanted was to make Lauren cry. Almost as if she senses Camila’s concern, Lauren buries her face in her neck and mumbles, “Happy tears, Camz.”

“Good,” Camila kisses the top of her head. “I never want to see you have any sad tears. Ever.”

“Well, I think- um, I think that’s probably unlikely, because I’m not going to die until I’m really old and I’m bound to be sad a few times by then,” Lauren points out, “but- um, the gesture is appreciated.”

“You and your cute little facts,” Camila kisses her girlfriend on the tip of her nose. “I’m glad you like the ring, though.”

Lauren spins the ring three times and smiles. “I love it! And I can stim with it, which is an added bonus.”

“You told me at Disney that you only wore stimmy jewellery,” Camila shrugs, “and when I stumbled across these it was like… I knew I _had_ to buy them.”

“You’re the best, Camzi,” Lauren smiles and dots kisses around her face, “I love you. Anyway, would you like to- um, stay here and cuddle with me? We could have a surprise sleepover. Now that you’re here.”

“Only if you’re okay with that,” Camila replies, Lauren answering for her and pulling her down, putting the covers of her bed over the both of them. “I’m taking that as a yes, but I know that you’re not good with surprises.”

“No, that’s okay, I proposed the idea,” Lauren points out, smiling to herself. “Proposed. I get to propose to you.”

“You do,” Camila agrees, “I trust you’ll do well, so… I’m not too worried.”

“Yes, I will do well,” Lauren shifts so Camila is laid back on her bed. “I already have a rough outline of a plan, but obviously I will not propose to you until we are older and financially able to have a really wonderful wedding.”

“It’s cute how you plan so much, babe,” Camila says, frowning when Lauren shifts so she’s sat in between Camila’s legs, her head rested on her girlfriend’s chest. “Comfy there?”

Lauren lifts up her shirt and grabs Camila’s hand, resting it on her bare stomach. “Tummy rubs.”

Camila laughs. “You’ve been asking for those a lot lately. You never used to.”

“I thought you might think it’s weird,” Lauren says, closing her eyes and smiling as Camila rubs her stomach and traces patterns along it. “Considering most people would just ask you to cuddle them or hold hands. But I like tummy rubs, it’s a really great stim. My mom used to do it when I was little but then when I was around thirteen she stopped because she said I was too old for it. So I had to do it myself, but it’s never as good. But- um, you did it one time without me even asking and… it was the best. So I ask you now. When I want tummy rubs, I mean.”

“Oh, okay then,” Camila kisses the top of Lauren’s head, “well… I’ll make you a deal, then.”

“Deal?” Lauren frowns. “Okay. What about?”

“The deal is… every time we cuddle, you get tummy rubs,” Camila says, “and… that’s it, basically.”

“That’s not really a deal, though,” Lauren says, tapping out a pattern on Camila’s thigh. “That’s more of a promise. A deal would involve me doing something for you too.”

“Well, fine,” Camila pauses in thought, “you get tummy rubs and I get… your baking. Because I’m not going to lie, I kind of love it more than Ally’s. Regardless of the fact that I’m slightly biased.”

“So I get tummy rubs and you get cookies and stuff?” Lauren asks, waiting for Camila to nod in confirmation. “Okay then. I will text you every time I bake things and then I will make sure to save you some.”

Camila brushes Lauren’s hair out of her eyes and smiles. “Your hair is always messy.”

“I don’t brush it. That’s probably why.” Lauren says. “Did you know that Da Vinci’s _The Last Supper_ originally included Jesus’ feet?”

Camila laughs, but she’s used to Lauren’s random subject changes by now. “Nope. I didn’t know that. Da Vinci realised he didn’t like feet and went back to paint over them, huh?”

“No, in 1652 while installing a doorway in the refectory where the painting is on view, builders cut into the bottom centre of it.” Lauren rambles. “So it cut off Jesus’ feet. Did you know that an adult male lion’s roar can be heard from around eight kilometres away?”

“Did you know that you have the entire universe stuffed up in your brain and that you’re way too smart for me?” Camila asks, beaming when Lauren’ blushes. “Nope. Bet you didn’t.”

“I’m not too smart for you. I _am_ smarter than you, but you’re still intelligent.” Lauren says. “You just don’t memorise facts like me. And you don’t have any special interests that you _have_ to know things about.”

Camila changes the subject entirely. “When is your autistic pride day?”

“Oh, um,” Lauren frowns. “We decided on two weeks on Saturday, because that’s the earliest Vero can get a Saturday off. Why?”

“Because I want to be there, loser,” Camila rolls her eyes and ruffles her girlfriend’s hair. “I love you and I want to support you.”

“I don’t- how come you can take bad words like _loser_ and _dumbass_ and make them something good?” Lauren frowns to herself. “You do that a lot but you don’t say them in a mean way, you say them in a funny way. But I don’t get how you do it. And it only works with certain words too. I don’t understand that.”

“It’s like…” Camila shrugs, “sarcasm or irony, I guess. You’re the biggest winner there is. And you’re the smartest human I know. Therefore, I’m going to call you the opposite as a joke.”

“But it only works with certain words,” Lauren repeats, “like… if you called me the ‘r’ word, it’d upset me. But calling me a loser doesn’t.”

“Well, go on,” Camila says, tickling Lauren’s stomach and making her girlfriend giggle. “You try. Call me something.”

“Um…” Lauren bites down on her lip in thought, “I love you, um, _ugly_.”

Camila bursts out laughing, because Lauren’s attempt hadn’t exactly worked. “Okay then. Nice try, but, uh, ugly doesn’t exactly work with this.”

Lauren frowns. “But you’re pretty. So I’m calling you the opposite as a joke.”

“Try again, babe,” Camila prompts her, tracing three circles around Lauren’s bellybutton. “Or should I say, try again, _dumbass_.”

Lauren pouts. “Fine. You’re annoying, you _bitch_.”

“Alright, yeah,” Camila nods, “slightly more effective. Nice one, Lo.”

“Thank you, _weirdo_.” Lauren smiles and taps on her leg. “I’m getting better at this. Do you think my head is too big for my body?”

Camila blinks at the question, a little taken off guard. “Uh… what?”

“Well, I think my head is big. I’ve noticed it a lot more since I’ve been going for runs more often. It’s bigger than yours,” Lauren points out, “Your head is tiny, but your body is tiny too. But I don’t think- I don’t know. I need an outside opinion.”

Camila has to fight back her laugh. “No, Lo. I don’t think your head is too big.”

“What if- um, what if I turned into a bobble head?” Lauren asks. “Would you still love me?”

“I’d love you no matter what. You could turn into a piece of gum on the sidewalk and I’d stick you in your own little crevice in the bottom of my shoe.” Camila promises, kissing Lauren’s temple. “You’re still you, no matter how big your head is.”

Lauren seems satisfied by her answer. “Okay. Do you think my lips are chapped?”

Camila knows that her answer to that question is definitely a _yes_. “Why do you ask that?”

“Well, Dinah told me I needed chapstick the other day, but I don’t like chapstick because it feels funny on my lips.” Lauren explains. “But then Mani _and_ Ally offered me some. And if I need chapstick, it means my lips are chapped. Right?”

“Well, I mean… kind of,” Camila awkwardly agrees, “but it’s not a bad thing. It’s not like your lips are peeling off. They’re just a little chapped. And that’s okay.”

Lauren pouts. “I want them to be soft like yours.”

“Well… drink more water,” Camila suggests, not sure if that’ll actually help, “you could be dehydrated. But I love your lips no matter how chapped they are. Promise.”

Lauren leans up to kiss her. “Okay then. Good.”

“I love you for you, Lo.” Camila reminds her. “No matter what… _form_ you’re in. You could be a dirty old sock and I’d love you. So long as the dirty sock still has your perfect personality.”

Lauren blushes. “Thanks. That makes me happy.”

“That’s the goal,” Camila assures her, “to show you I love you, your chapped lips and your big head.”

“Shut up,” Lauren mumbles into Camila’s neck, red staining her cheeks and neck. “You said I don’t have a big head.”

“Yeah, but that’s not going to stop me from teasing you,” Camila ruffles her hair and smiles. “Because I love you. Therefore I’ll make fun of you. Weirdo.”

Lauren scrunches her nose up and pouts. “You’re weirder.”

“Fine,” Camila kisses her. “We’re the weird _est_. Hakuna and matata.”

“Yes,” Lauren smiles. “The weirdest. Together.”


	48. Chapter 48

“Hey, big head,” Camila smirks as Lauren opens the front door, “ready to go to the zoo?”

Lauren pouts at her and Camila feels her heart melt like candle wax. “Don’t call me big head.”

Camila kisses her and threads their fingers together as she pulls Lauren out of her house. “Fine. I now christen you… _chapped lips_.”

Lauren frowns when Camila draws a little cross on the centre of her forehead, nearly knocking her hat off her head. “You’re mean. Pick on- um, someone your own size.”

“You’re bigger than my size. You should be able to handle yourself, Lauren Michelle,” Camila kisses her cheek and sends her a teasing smile. “So, what’s with your ugly train conductor hat?”

“It’s not- it’s not a train conductor hat,” Lauren scowls at her and pushes her hat further onto her head. “And it’s not ugly either. I like it. Mani- um, Mani made fun of it too, when I tried it on in the store, but I like it so I’m going to wear it and I don’t care if you don’t.”

Camila smiles at Lauren’s mini rant as her girlfriend buckles her seatbelt. “But… why did Mani let you buy it? Like… no offence. But it’s ugly.”

“But I _like it_.” Lauren folds her arms across her chest and lets out an exasperated sigh. “You just- I bought it because I like it. And you’re not the one wearing it, and it’s _not_ ugly. I love my hat.”

Camila stares at Lauren for a moment and lets out a small sigh, eventually deciding that if her girlfriend wants to wander around the zoo all day looking like Postman Pat, then she might as well let her.

“Fine.” Camila says as she starts the car. “You can wear your ugly hat.”

Lauren mutters something that sounds a whole lot like, “It’s not ugly, stupid head,” but before Camila can comment, she’s already talking about something else. “I’m excited to see the jaguars. Because we- because we couldn’t see them at Disney, but- I can’t wait- lions and tigers- also, they have- they-”

“Lo?” Camila raises an eyebrow. “Slow down, babe. One thing at a time.”

“Oh, um,” Lauren bites down on her lip and nods, “yes, I- well, I’m excited for lions the most, because I really love lions, but they have- they have a whole pride. The lioness is really cool, her name is Kashifa. And she has five cubs, but one is adopted from her sister. Isn’t that really sweet?”

“Adorable,” Camila says, but she’s not entirely sure she’s talking about the lions. “What’s the male of the pride called?”

“Oh, um, Jabari.” Lauren answers quickly. “I’ll point them all out, I promise. I don’t know much about the tigers and jaguars and leopards and cheetahs they have though.”

“Can’t believe you don’t know anything about the jaguars,” Camila comments, “you’re Lauren Jaguar, after all.”

Lauren blushes. “Yes. But- um, I am excited to learn about them. I love going to zoos.”

“I would’ve taken you to one earlier if you’d asked,” Camila replies, “I like zoos too. They have a really relaxed atmosphere, you know?”

“No, not really,” Lauren shakes her head, frowning to herself, “do you ever think that you’ll want children?”

Camila’s heart practically stops at the question, because she hadn’t been expecting Lauren to ask something like that. “Um… well, I can’t say I’ve thought about it. Why?”

“Well, I don’t- um, I don’t ever want kids,” Lauren says, looking at her with wide eyes, “and sometimes that kind of thing breaks people up, like on _Friends_ , Monica breaks up with Richard because he doesn’t want kids. But I don’t want to lose you over a non-existent baby.”

Camila frowns. “You _never_ want kids?”

“Never,” Lauren confirms, tapping out a pattern on her leg, “I don’t think I could handle it. And I’m not- I’m good with kids when they’re around five until they turn ten. All the other ages are hard and I really don’t like babies. They- um, make loud noises and they grab and I don’t… I don’t like it.”

“You don’t need to be worried about that, Lolo,” Camila assures her, “we don’t need a future kid to be a proper family when we’re older. We’ll have our two Bengal kittens and our Dachshund named Dash.”

“I just don’t want you to feel like I’m your only option,” Lauren says, fiddling with the cap bit on her hat. “I don’t want- even though it’d kill me if you left, I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay with me and never have kids. And I know it’s really far in the future but I feel like we should be honest with each other about our… plans. For the future.”

“Lauren Michelle Jauregui Morgado.” Camila uses Lauren’s full name so she knows she’s serious. “I would never leave you. I love you and I couldn’t imagine myself with anyone else. Kids have never been something I’ve always been dying to have. I always figured I’d think about that when I’m older. Either way, I don’t care about that right now. What I care about is how ten years in the future, I’m going to be Mrs Camila Jauregui-Cabello. Or Cabello-Jauregui. Whichever we pick. But I prefer the first one.”

“I just want you to be happy, Camz.” Lauren murmurs. “I also like Jauregui-Cabello, by the way. We’ll go with that. I really think- um, ten years from now, we’ll be happy. We’ll be financially stable, living in… a little house, and we’ll have the cats and dog we want and we won’t have any worries. _Hakuna matata_.”

Camila smiles and reaches in Lauren’s general direction, plucking the hat off her head. “Okay. But if I’m going to be Mrs Jauregui-Cabello, then you’re going to have to ditch the ugly hat.”

“Why are you so mean to my hat?” Lauren pouts as Camila throws it in the backseat. “I like it.”

“I’m not mean to your hat, Lo.” Camila defends herself, “it brought it on itself for being a disgrace to fashion. And I don’t even know that much about fashion, I just know that your hat is ugly.”

Lauren huffs. “I’m not going to tell you any lion facts now. If you’re going to be mean to my hat.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Lauren, you and I both know that you’d probably implode if you didn’t get your lion facts out into the universe.”

“Well, no, I wouldn’t,” Lauren says, “but just- don’t be mean to me.”

“I’m not being mean to _you_ ,” Camila laughs, “I’m being mean to your _hat_.”

“Well, either way, you shouldn’t be mean.” Lauren pouts at her. “I like my hat and if it makes me happy, you should be supportive. Not- not calling it ugly.”

Camila bites back the _but it is ugly_ on the tip of her tongue. “Alright. Fine. You wear whatever hat you want to wear, Lo.”

Lauren sends her a satisfied smile. “Yes. Anyway, are we near the zoo yet?”

“Yeah.” Camila nods. “Five more minutes. And then you’ll be able to ramble about lions to your heart’s content. Okay, babe?”

“Yes, okay, I will tell you about lions,” Lauren answers with a small smile, “what’s your favourite animal? And I don’t mean like, domesticated ones. Just out of wild animals.”

“Oh, uh,” Camila pauses in thought, “Probably a bear. They seem all fluffy and cuddly. And my Fluffy is a bear. So… yeah. Bears.”

“I don’t know much about bears,” Lauren admits, and Camila lets out an overly exaggerated gasp. “I was hoping you’d say a big cat, because I know lots about big cats.”

“Oh my god,” Camila comments, “something you _don’t know_ about? This is like, a once in a lifetime sight. I’m shocked.”

Lauren giggles. “Shut up. I told you I don’t know _everything_.”

“Yeah, but you might as well,” Camila replies, “like, ninety percent of the time, when I ask a question, you _always_ have the answer.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “That’s because you ask me questions about my special interests, and obviously I’d know things about those.”

“Well… _whatever_ , Lo,” Camila rolls her eyes, “put the technicalities aside.”

“Are there things that you know lots about?” Lauren asks. “Like… like music? But other things too.”

Camila hums in thought. “Uh… not really. Music is the only thing I’m really into like that. I used to know a lot about cheerleading but I wasn’t very good at it, considering gravity hates me.”

Lauren frowns. “I can’t imagine you as a cheerleader. Mostly because you fall over at least once a day. You’d definitely be the reason the pyramid collapses.”

“Hey, now you’re being mean _,_ ” Camila pouts, “I wasn’t _that_ bad. I mean, everyone else was much better than me, but I could’ve been worse. I could’ve broken someone’s leg or something. But I didn’t, I only caused injuries to myself.”

“I don’t want to think of you being hurt.” Lauren says as Camila pulls into the zoo’s parking lot. “What’s something else you’ve had as a hobby?”

“Dating you,” Camila suggests after a long pause, “I know lots about you.”

“But I know lots about me too,” Lauren points out, “I want to learn something new.”

“Well… I’ll teach you a few guitar chords one night.” Camila replies as she pulls into the nearest parking spot. “Then you’ll learn something new.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Yeah. Okay. That sounds fun.”

“It will be. Plus it gives me an excuse to do that super cheesy thing where I go behind you and guide your hands and stuff.” Camila says, getting up and walking around to the passenger side to open Lauren’s door for her. “That’ll be fun.”

“Oh, um, when December gets here, can we watch loads of Christmas movies together?” Lauren asks as she takes Camila’s hand and practically skips towards the entrance. “And- um, drink hot chocolate? And put up Christmas decorations? I’m really festive.”

“Sure, baby,” Camila smiles, “we can do all the festive junk you want. We like, _have_ to kiss under the mistletoe, though. We didn’t do anything festive last year so we’re making up for it this year.”

“Dinah, Ally and Mani are throwing a New Year’s party. So we’ll go to that.” Lauren says. “I go to that every year, it’s always at Mani’s house. Last year’s was fun, but you didn’t come to that.”

“Didn’t know it happened.” Camila murmurs, shrugging a little. “But I guess that was around the time when Mani still doubted me.”

“Yes, probably,” Lauren hums in thought, “I’ll tell her to invite you this year. I mean, I think she already said she would, but… I want you to be there because you need to be my kiss at midnight.”

Camila nods distractedly as she fumbles with her purse to get the money out for her and Lauren’s tickets. "Yeah.”

“Oh, let me pay too,” Lauren says, pulling twenty dollars out of her pocket. “I want to go halfsies with you. I don’t need to pay for my ticket, I have a membership card that I just scan.”

“You do?” Camila frowns as Lauren basically forces a ten dollar bill into her pocket. “Well, that makes it easier. I guess I’m just paying for one ticket then.”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head and starts trying to stuff the ten dollar bill into Camila’s palm. “ _Halfsies_.”

Camila laughs. “There’s absolutely no way in hell you can make the word _halfsies_ sound aggressive enough to make me split for my ticket.”

Lauren tries her hardest to do just that, but Camila still won’t let her pay for her ticket, and once they’re in the park, her girlfriend finally shuts up.

(Mostly because Camila hadn’t noticed Lauren slipping a twenty dollar bill into her bag when she wasn’t looking.)

“Lions first?” Camila asks as Lauren takes hold of her hand and smiles at the relaxed atmosphere at the zoo. “Lead the way to whatever you want to see, babe.”

“It’s not very busy,” Lauren comments as she heads towards the zoo map. “But it’s lunchtime. I thought it’d be really busy.”

Camila frowns. “Well, it’s good that it’s quiet, isn’t it? You hate it when places are busy.”

“Yes, I was just…” Lauren trails off and shrugs, “I expected it’d be busy. Anyway, let’s go look at the big cats first. I think I know where to go from here, but I haven’t been for a few months. My family are all too busy a lot of the time to bring me.”

“If you want to go to the zoo, tell me,” Camila says, “I’ll be at your house to pick you up in seconds.”

“Well, no you won’t, because it takes around fifteen to twenty minutes on average to get to my house from yours.” Lauren replies, leading her in the direction of the lions. “So… you wouldn’t be there in seconds.”

“Figure of speech, Lo,” Camila tells her, squeezing her hand, “sorry. But I meant I’d be there as quick as I can be.”

“Okay, well, that makes more sense,” Lauren nods with a smile, “I will let you know if I want to go to the zoo at other times.”

Camila hums. “Alright. I’ll be on standby for any necessary zoo trips.”

“Do you think…” Lauren trails off with a frown, “do you think lions have thoughts? Like, coherent ones? I think- I think maybe they judge us when we stare at them through glass.”

“Yeah, they’re thinking _damn, I really want to eat that girl wearing the ugly hat_.” Camila says, flicking Lauren’s hat – which she’d retrieved from the backseat when they’d stopped – off her head.

Lauren scowls at her as she fumbles to catch her hat. “If you call my hat ugly one more time, I’ll- um, I’ll break up with you.”

“You’d better be joking, Lauren Michelle,” Camila sends her a serious stare, “or I’ll have a severe breakdown right here, right now.”

“Yes, I’m joking,” Lauren confirms, “but still. Stop calling my hat ugly.”

Camila clucks her tongue in disapproval. “It’s ugly, Lo. Just accept it and move on.”

Lauren mutters something again, but Camila can’t ask what it is, because her girlfriend has already placed her hat on her head again and cuddled herself up in her coat. “So, um, we’re around the corner from the clouded leopard, if you want to go and look at that.”

“Lead the way,” Camila gestures ahead of them and smiles when Lauren wiggles her fingers between hers and pulls her around the corner. When they’re in front of the leopard’s enclosure and Lauren is staring at it in awe, Camila decides to prompt a little ramble. “Hey, Lo? Tell me some facts about the leopard?”

“Oh, well, um, this is a clouded leopard,” Lauren starts, rubbing her thumb against Camila’s knuckles. “They call it the tree tiger in Malaysia, because it ambushes its prey from really high in the trees. It like, pounces on their backs and then kills them. Also, um, the males can grow up to twice the size of the females and I think they can climb on the underside of the branches and grab their prey by their front paws.”

Camila smiles at Lauren’s little biography. “That’s really interesting.”

“Yes, big cats are so cool,” Lauren nods in agreement and stares over at the leopard, which is relaxed lazily in a tree. “It’s so beautiful.”

“You probably wouldn’t be thinking that if you were in there with it and it dropped down from that tree to kill you.” Camila points out. “I’d give it your ugly hat as a peace offering.”

“ _Stop_ making fun of my hat!” Lauren turns to her with her best glare, but it’s really not that intimidating to Camila, since she knows her girlfriend couldn’t hurt a fly. “Really, I mean it. It’s making me upset.”

Camila frowns. “I didn’t realise it was actually upsetting you, babe. I was only joking.”

Lauren blinks up at her with a shy smile. “You don’t really think my hat is ugly?”

Camila has to bite back her laugh, because _yeah_ , it’s probably the ugliest hat she’s ever seen. “Um… honestly, yes. But it’s being worn by the most beautiful girl in the world, so… that gives it some points.”

Lauren lets out a satisfied hum. “Okay then. Stop teasing me about it.”

“Can’t promise that,” Camila ruffles her girlfriend’s hair and kisses her cheek, “now show me the cheetahs, Lo.”

Lauren beams and pulls her in the direction of the cheetah enclosure. “They have two cheetahs. One is called Koda, and the other one is Diesel. Diesel is the smaller of the two.”

As they stop in front of the cheetah enclosure, Camila decides to test her girlfriend’s knowledge. “Tell me some facts about them, baby.”

“Oh, okay,” Lauren hums in thought, “well, cheetahs are the world’s fastest land mammal. They can go from zero miles per hour to about sixty in three seconds. They only need to have a drink once every three to four days, I think, which is crazy because we’d die if we went that long. They also have really good eyesight because their habitat generally includes tall grass, so they need to spot prey in that but not let the prey spot them.”

“Alright, um,” Camila pauses in thought, “what’s their scientific name? You know like, how spiders are arachnids.”

“Oh, I get what you mean,” Lauren nods, “it’s acinonyx jubatus. I think. I could be wrong.”

“The fact that you even have an _idea_ about what that could be is insane,” Camila comments, “you’re too smart. You’re like a little bank of facts.”

“My mom tells me that I could be a big cat trainer or vet when I’m older,” Lauren says, “with the stuff I know about them. But I’d rather do art.”

“You probably could. She’s not wrong,” Camila agrees, “but you do what you want.”

“Yes, it’s like… I don’t like it when people try to make decisions for me. Not that my mom is doing that now, but she used to.” Lauren says, and Camila feels herself being led towards another enclosure. “That’s also a reason why I was scared to get into a relationship, in case they tried to make decisions for me. I feel bad when I see girls whose boyfriends push them around and choose things for them. I like it when girls do themselves.”

Camila nearly chokes on air at Lauren’s words and the older girl is completely oblivious to what she’s just said, so the younger Latina tries her best to hold back her laugh. “Um… yeah. Let’s go see the lions.”

Lauren frowns. “Are you okay? You sounded like you were choking.”

“Um, yeah, I’m fine,” Camila lets out a few laughs and tries to push the phrase _girls who do themselves_ out of her head. “Lions. Let’s go.”

“We’re already here,” Lauren gestures to their left and Camila sees the lion enclosure. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“It’s just that-” Camila has to hold her laugh back, “you said _girls who do themselves_.”

“Well, yes, but what’s so funny about that?” Lauren raises an eyebrow and Camila has to fight back more giggles and whisper it in her ear, nearly in tears at her girlfriend’s surprised reaction. “ _Oh_.”

“Yeah,” Camila laughs so hard she snorts, which triggers a laugh from Lauren too, “now you get it.”

“Maybe I could’ve… worded that differently,” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip in embarrassment. “Anyway, lions, um… what do you want to know about them? I know the most about lions, they’re my favourite animal.”

Camila waits until her laughter has subsided to answer. “Tell me everything you know.”

“Oh, well, that’d take me quite a while.” Lauren says. “So- um… I’ll just tell you the basics. I told you in the car that this lion pride here as five cubs, a male and a female. Lions are the only big cats that generally live in groups. The manes on the male lions can vary in colour from blonde to black, and the darker the mane signals the most power, so technically in _The Lion King_ , Scar would’ve been both really respected and also sexually sought after because of his black mane. Actually, there’s this theory that Scar is Nala’s dad-”

“Lauren,” Camila interrupts, “you’re getting a little off track.”

Realising that she’d gone into talking about _The Lion King_ rather than actual lions, Lauren’s eyes widen and she blushes. “Um, yeah. Oops. Anyway- um, lions can sleep for like, twenty hours a day, and the male lions stay and protect the pride and territory while the females hunt. Like how in _The Lion King_ , Nala is hunting when she finds Simba with Timone and Pumba, because she’s a female so she hunts. Lions can climb really well too, so if you’re ever running away from a lion, don’t try climbing a tree, because they could just chase you. Male lions are around sixty seven inches to around ninety nine inches in length. Not including the tail. And female lions are around fifty eight to seventy inches. But that’s just on average, there can be anomalies. There always are.”

“Damn, Lo. I’d never remember all of that.” Camila squeezes her girlfriend’s hand. “Also, I like how you started talking about _The Lion King_ anyway.”

“Well, I was giving you an example.” Lauren points out, tapping against her pants. “It was the first thing that came to mind, and I knew you’d understand it because you’ve seen it with me lots.”

“I’m pretty sure if someone made a bank of all the common phrases to come out of your mouth, _The Lion King_ would be number one.” Camila teases her. “Along with _I have a 5.0 GPA.”_

“Yeah, well… yours would just be a collection of swear words from when you fell over.” Lauren retorts. “And you calling me _babe_ or _baby_. You do that a lot.”

“You call me those sometimes.” Camila points out, giving her girlfriend a light shove. “So you can’t talk.”

“I mostly just call you Camz, though,” Lauren replies. “Also- um, a lion’s scientific classification is panthera leo. I remember that for sure.”

Camila kisses her cheek. “I love your little fact-drops. It’s great, because I can walk around and tell everyone that my girlfriend is the smartest and prettiest girl in the whole entire world, and all I have to do to prove it is be like _Lauren, come tell them some art facts or big cat facts_.”

“No, you’re the prettiest girl,” Lauren argues. “I’m the smartest though. I’m also very pretty, but I think you’re prettier.”

“Glad you know you’re attractive, babe.” Camila squeezes her hand. “But I have to argue with that. Like… go look in a mirror and _bam_. Prettiest girl, right in front of you.”

“Can we- can we agree on a tie for prettiest?” Lauren asks. “Because I think you’re the prettiest. So we should tie. And be the prettiest together.”

“Yeah, okay. Deal.” Camila nods and pulls Lauren in for a hug. “I’m having a really good day, Lo. Thanks for being so cute.”

“Oh, um, you’re welcome,” Lauren replies with a smile. “I’m having a good day too. Do you want to go and get some lunch before we see the tigers and the bears?”

“You make the rules, Lo.” Camila says. “Kind of like a mini Disney.”

“Oh, does that mean we’re going to have sex later?” Lauren asks, and Camila laughs at her bluntness. “Because I’d have to stay at your house, my family are all in tonight, we’re having a board game night.”

“Maybe we’ll save the sex for another time then,” Camila slowly replies, “I’ll- uh, let you know when I’m in the mood. Okay?”

“Alright then.” Lauren nods and rocks on her heels. “I would like burgers for lunch, do you want a burger?”

“Sure,” Camila nods, not even stunned by the abrupt subject change, “lead me to the burgers, cutie.”

Lauren snorts. “You’re the cutie. _Cutie_.”

“Nope,” Camila shakes her head. “ _You_ are.”

“Yes, well, I make the rules, and I say you’re the cutie.” Lauren folds her arms across her chest. “Let’s go get burgers, _cutie_.”

“Fine, _chapped lips_ ,” Camila pokes her in the side. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be slower from now on because lack of energy to do much aside from sleep. And university is hell. Mostly because it makes no sense.


	49. Chapter 49

****Trigger warning for mild homophobia and ableism.** **

****-** **

“Camz!” Lauren flings open the front door when she hears a knock. “I’m glad you came, I have a surprise!”

“A surprise?” Camila repeats with a frown. “Are you okay? Your text was really abrupt and weird.”

“Yes, I am _so_ happy, Camzi!” Lauren bounces herself on the balls of her feet and once she’s made sure the front door is closed, opens up the living room door. “Meet Dash!”

Camila stares with wide eyes when Lauren’s new dachshund puppy comes running out of the room, yapping at her. Lauren picks him up and kisses the top of his head, waiting for her reaction.

Eventually, Camila speaks. “You got a puppy?”

“Yes!” Lauren beams, staring down at Dash. “My mom read online that- um, it’s – autistic kids benefit from having a support animal. And she’s known that I always wanted a dog, and she brought him home about half an hour ago. That’s when I texted you, I want him to meet you.”

“Read online, huh? I guess you take after her.” Camila tries joking, but Lauren thinks she’s still a little surprised. “He’s cute. I guess we’re going to have to rethink our name for our future dachshund, then.”

“Dash is only a puppy,” Lauren comments, “he’ll probably still be alive when we’re married and living together. That’s why I wanted him to meet you. Because he’ll be living with us. Here, pet him.”

Carefully, Camila scratches Dash behind the ear, and Lauren smiles when she feels the puppy squirm excitedly in her arms. “He’s so cute. Perfect match for you.”

“He’s the best,” Lauren smiles and kisses the top of his head again. “I have always wanted a puppy. My mom said- um, that she thinks I’m responsible enough to look after him. And I will.”

Camila smiles. “Do you want to take him for a walk?”

At the word, Dash squirms around even more in Lauren’s arms. “I think he wants to, but we’re not allowed to yet. We have to wait two weeks because he just got all of his shots and stuff.”

“Well, we can cuddle with him in your room,” Camila suggests, “is he going to sleep on your bed?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “but he has a basket downstairs too. My dad says he should stay in the kitchen on a night until we get him house trained so he doesn’t ruin the carpets, but once he’s fine he’ll stay in my room with me.”

As Lauren puts Dash down again, Camila smiles. “Do you want to watch a movie or something? We might as well, now that I’m here.”

“Actually, I was wondering if you’d want to go out.” Lauren says. “We can’t take Dash for a walk, but we can take ourselves.”

“What do you want to do, Lo?” Camila asks, knowing that shopping is definitely ruled out and anything else loud is too. “I’ll go wherever.”

“Um… can we go to the aquarium?” Lauren asks, rocking on her heels. “I think it’d be fun. We haven’t been there together yet.”

Camila hums in thought. “Okay. Sure. Only if I can buy you something from the gift shop.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods, “I won’t- um, I won’t turn down free things.”

“You’d better not,” Camila replies, “I want to shower you with presents. Even though I have like, two dollars to my name right now. It’s worth it for you.”

“I want to get you presents too,” Lauren says, rubbing a hand along her leg. “I want to- to show you I appreciate you. With presents.”

“Lo,” Camila laughs, “I already know you appreciate me. I appreciate you too.”

“I will pay for your admission to the aquarium.” Lauren decides out loud. “Because I chose to go, you didn’t. So I’ll pay.”

“You will _not_ pay for me.” Camila folds her arms across her chest and decides that she’s going to mimic what Lauren constantly does to her. “We’ll go halfsies on everything. Okay?”

“Halfsies,” Lauren repeats, pausing for a moment to think. Eventually, she nods. “Yes. Okay. Halfsies.”

“Glad I didn’t need to do much convincing,” Camila laughs and holds out her hand for Lauren to take. “Do you want to head out now? We can get lunch in the aquarium’s café.”

“Do you think they’ll have tuna sandwiches or not?” Lauren frowns. “Because it’s like, a typical lunch thing, but then it’s an aquarium which is there to look after fish and sea life, and tuna is a fish. So logically they wouldn’t have tuna sandwiches, but I really want one for my lunch. But I don’t want to offend the fish.”

Camila tries not to laugh, but a lot of the things that Lauren comes out with are things she can’t help but laugh at. This happens to be one of them. When Lauren laughs along with her though, Camila realises it’s a joke, and she feels a whole lot better knowing that her girlfriend’s sanity is definitely still in place.

“We can have lunch here if you want.” Camila offers. “You’ll be able to sneakily feed some to Dash under the table.”

Lauren pouts. “I was half serious before though, do you think they’ll have tuna sandwiches at the aquarium?”

“Probably,” Camila laughs, “tuna aren’t exactly penguins or dolphins or sharks. Tuna are just… tuna. Fine to eat. And all that stuff.”

“Okay then, let’s have lunch at the aquarium.” Lauren decides. “If they don’t have tuna sandwiches, I will have a chicken sandwich. Or maybe cheese.”

“You don’t have to decide until we get there, Lo,” Camila assures her, smiling when Dash runs out of the lounge again and rubs up against Lauren’s leg. “He loves you already. I’m not surprised. You pull everyone in.”

“Yes, with my _Jauregui charm_.” Lauren agrees, kneeling down to play with Dash. “I am glad that my mom read online about support pets. It was a really wonderful surprise, and usually I hate surprises.”

“I’m glad she did something so nice for you.” Camila says, sitting down on the floor across from Lauren and calling Dash to her. When he doesn’t respond, she frowns. “He knows the word _walk_ but he hasn’t learned his name yet?”

“I’ve had him for half an hour, but he’s like… six weeks old. Or something.” Lauren replies. “The people who own his mom obviously taught him what _walk_ means. But we can’t take him yet because he’s only just had his shots.”

“I wish I could trick my mom into getting me a puppy, but she definitely wouldn’t trust I’d take care of it.” Camila says as she scratches behind Dash’s ear. “I can barely keep a house plant alive. Let alone a puppy.”

Lauren frowns. “So I’ll have to remind you to feed him and walk him when we’re older?”

“Definitely,” Camila nods, “I mean, I’m forgetful as it is. I’d definitely need you to poke me in the arm when he needs walking or feeding. But we’ll probably walk him together anyway, won’t we? Nice little couple walks every evening.”

“I want our cats to be house cats,” Lauren says, bringing up a completely different topic and not even surprising Camila; she’s one hundred percent prepared for Lauren’s random subject changes by now. “It scares me when people just let their cats out to stroll around, because- because what if someone thinks it’s lost and takes it home, and what if it actually does get lost and doesn’t come back, or what if it just runs away?”

“Okay, one, it’d never run away from you. You’re too loveable. _Me_ , maybe, but definitely not you.” Camila starts. “The actually getting lost is a valid point though. But I don’t think people see a cat walking around outside and think _oh, it’s lost_. Mostly they just go _oh, a cat_ and move on. If it was a dog it’d be a different story.”

“They will be house cats.” Lauren decides. “Simba and Nala will be house cats.”

“They’d probably be able to sniff you out, actually,” Camila adds as an afterthought, “so no matter where you are, Simba and Nala could break out of the house and come hang out with you. And Dash could follow them.”

Lauren hums to herself. “Yes. Maybe.”

Camila smiles when Dash curls up in Lauren’s lap and knows that he’s definitely going to put her in a good mood when she needs a cheer up. “I’m glad you have him.”

“ _We_ have him.” Lauren corrects her. “When we live together, we’ll have him as our pet. For now he’s just mine because he lives here, but he’s still ours.”

“We’ll have to find somewhere pet friendly to live for college,” Camila points out, “have you started your application yet?”

“I have had my applications done since June. I’m hoping for Stanford though, since that’s both of our first choices.” Lauren says, stroking her fingers along Dash’s fur. “What will happen if one of us gets in but the other doesn’t?”

“Well… hopefully that won’t happen,” Camila says, “but I’d follow you to the ends of the earth. If I don’t get in anywhere – let’s face it, it’ll be me, you’re the one with a 5.0 GPA – I’ll follow you anyway. Get a job wherever you are. Write music in my free time. Be happy with you.”

Lauren hums in thought. “What do you want to do when you’re older?”

“I don’t… I don’t know, really,” Camila shrugs and tries not to have some kind of internal meltdown, because whenever her future is brought up, she kind of freaks out. “I know you have it all planned out, but I don’t. Something in music.”

Lauren bites down on her lip and stays silent for a moment. “What about a teacher? You could teach music.”

“I mean, that’s an option, yeah,” Camila nods, “but I don’t know if I’d be good enough. I kind of suck at explaining things.”

“Yeah, but you’d get better with time.” Lauren replies, “Practice makes perfect, Camzi.”

“Let’s talk about something else. Not the future.” Camila decides, because career talk gives her a headache and she hates not knowing what she wants to do while everyone else seems to be so set on something. “Maybe… the past. Tell me cute things about your childhood. So I can fangirl over baby Lolo.”

“Um… what kind of cute things?” Lauren asks, but Camila doesn’t get a chance to elaborate. “How about… we wait until we get to the aquarium for me to tell you stories. So I can think on the car ride there.”

“Alright then.” Camila nods and stands up around the same time as her girlfriend, brushing herself off. She watches as Lauren heads into the lounge and tells her dad that they’re going out, and hopes to god that her girlfriend won’t ask any more questions about the future, unless they’re about trivial things like puppies.

-

“I remember one time Mani- Mani helped me speak.” Lauren announces as Camila is staring at one of the octopuses in the tanks. The younger Latina nearly jumps out of her skin, because she hadn’t expected the sudden conversation. “I’ll tell you about that. If you want.”

Camila blinks in confusion. “How did octopus spark your memory of that?”

“Oh, they didn’t, I’ve been thinking about _cute things_ from my childhood to tell you for a while, and I just remembered a good one.” Lauren says, referencing their earlier conversation from about an hour ago. “I’ll tell you about it. If you want me to.”

“Uh…” Camila turns away from the octopus and nods, “sure. Go on then.”

“Well, I was… eight. I think.” Lauren starts. “And by that point I’d pretty much just started using sentences properly. But I stuttered a lot, kind of like how I do when I’m nervous or frustrated, but a lot worse. And one day I was trying to figure out how to pronounce a word in this book we were reading as a class, and our teacher was planning on making me read out loud that day, because everyone had to take a turn at reading out loud.”

Camila frowns. “Why didn’t she let you out of it? Or at least give you extra help, like our Spanish teacher is doing for those speaking things soon.”

“She said- um, she said she didn’t want to seem biased. I don’t know.” Lauren shrugs. “She kept making it out like she had loads of confidence in me, but in reality she was just mean, I think.”

“Stupid third grade teacher,” Camila comments. “Was this the teacher that Mani claimed hated her?”

“No, that was the second grade one.” Lauren says. “Anyway, um… I was trying to figure out how to pronounce _remember_ , which is quite a hard word if you think about it because of the _mem_ bit in the middle. But whatever. And Mani helped me along, she sat with me all morning and helped me say it.”

“That’s cute,” Camila smiles, trying to picture a mini Normani helping Lauren with her words and internally _awing_. “Why exactly did you have such a hard time learning to talk?”

Lauren looks at her like she’s crazy. “Because of my autism.”

“Well, yeah, I know that, but _why_ ,” Camila says, trying to explain herself, “why is it hard for kids with autism to learn to talk?”

“Oh, uh,” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and shrugs. “I don’t actually know. It just is. It’s probably down to the way the brain processes language, since we don’t get sarcasm and specific tones and intonations.”

“Wow, something you _don’t_ know,” Camila looks at her with mock surprise, “I’m so shocked.”

“I’ve told you a million times, I don’t know everything.” Lauren points out, not getting Camila’s sardonic tone. “I just know _lots_ of things. But not everything.”

“Well, I mean, you still made an educated guess,” Camila points out, “so I guess that gives you some points.”

Lauren shrugs. “At the same time, it might not be what I said, though. Because people with Asperger’s don’t get sarcasm and things like that either, but they’re generally fine or above average when it comes to learning to talk. Lucy said her first word at like, seven months. I think. The doctor who diagnosed me told my mom I’d never speak more than the few words I could say by then.”

Camila laughs. “So, basically, _hakuna_ and _matata_.”

“Also mama and papa,” Lauren adds, “and- um, my favourite word, coño.”

Camila’s eyes widen. “ _Lauren Michelle_. Wash your fucking mouth out.”

“You wash yours out too then,” Lauren shoots back, “and I’m only joking. I didn’t know how to say that. I did say _fuck_ one time when I was seven, but then my mom shouted at me for it. I only said it because I’d overheard my dad, I didn’t know what it meant.”

“Oh my god,” Camila laughs, “I’d pay to see seven year old you saying _fuck._ You were such a tiny little baby, so that would’ve been hilarious.”

“We have some home movies you can watch, actually,” Lauren says, “then you’ll kind of get to meet little me. But- um, I’ll only let you watch if you’ll let me watch some childhood videos of yours.”

“Alright then. Sure.” Camila nods, not sure if she even has any decent childhood videos. “But I want to see yours first. You can’t dangle fetus you over my head and then rip it away.”

Lauren frowns. “Why do you enjoy looking at all of my childhood stuff?”

“Well, one, I didn’t know you then, so I kind of have to make up for all the lost years,” Camila points out, “and _two_ , you were absolutely fucking adorable. I just looked like a potato with legs.”

“Lies.” Lauren replies. “I’ve seen pictures of baby you around your house, and you were adorable. But I want to see more.”

“You will,” Camila promises her, “but first, let’s get you your tuna sandwich.”

“No, I’d like to look at the fish for a while. Can we go and see the sharks?” Lauren asks. “I used to be really interested in marine biology, almost as much as I enjoy learning about big cats.”

“Okay, I have a really deep question for you,” Camila says as she takes Lauren’s hand and leads her to where she thinks the sharks are. “What’s the _weirdest_ special interest you’ve ever had?”

Lauren frowns to herself. “What do you mean by weird?”

“Well, all of the things you’ve mentioned aren’t really that weird,” Camila says, “and everyone has a guilty pleasure, but I figured since you probably have a guilty special interest, you’re open about it and ramble on about it whenever people bring it up. So… what’s like, a deep, dark, secret special interest of yours?”

Lauren frowns even more, if that’s possible. “I don’t think I have one of those. Paramore’s self-titled album is my guilty pleasure though. I love all of their older music, but their self-titled isn’t as good and I pretend I don’t like it when people ask, but I don’t _mind_ it.”

“Paramore isn’t really that weird though,” Camila points out, “I mean, my guilty pleasure was reading Larry fanfiction into the dead of the night. Something that you wouldn’t broadcast to an adult.”

“Oh…” Lauren’s eyes widen, “having sex with you, then. I wouldn’t talk about that with an adult and it’s very pleasurable.”

Camila nearly chokes on air. “You know what, I give up.”

Lauren frowns at her, and after a small silence, says, “Imagine if fish drank air.”

“Where the hell did that come from?” Camila laughs, wondering what’s going on in her girlfriend’s head. “Weirdo.”

“I’m not a weirdo, you are,” Lauren retorts, “and it’s because we drink water but breathe air, so using logic you’d assume that fish breathe water and drink air.”

Camila presses her hand against Lauren’s forehead. “You don’t feel very hot. Maybe you don’t have a fever that’s creating delusions. Are you high or something?”

Lauren laughs. “No, I haven’t been high for a while. You act like I do it every night, it’s only on occasion when I’m with the girls and they’re all drinking. But we haven’t done that in forever.”

Camila leans in and kisses her, hearing a scoff from behind them but not paying it any attention. “I still want to see high Lauren, you know.”

When Lauren pulls away and stares at something behind her, Camila doesn’t pay it any attention, because Lauren generally looks behind someone when she’s speaking to them. But when she hears a small, “Camz…” she follows Lauren’s gaze.

“Marielle?” Camila blinks in disbelief. “What are you doing here?”

“School trip for my bio class.” Marielle replies, looking more at Lauren than at her. “I see you’re still with… _that_.”

“ _That_ happens to be my wonderful girlfriend,” Camila glares at her, “I don’t think you want to piss me off, so maybe shut your fucking mouth?”

“Camz,” Lauren interrupts her, “let’s just go.”

Marielle stares at Lauren for a few more moments before turning to Camila again. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand why you ditched your two best friends for someone like _her_. You can always find a nice, _normal_ boy and-”

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself?”

Camila blinks in surprise, because that definitely hadn’t come out of her mouth. Lauren looks equally as shocked, because apparently she hadn’t been expecting an outburst. Camila guesses her girlfriend had just committed a pretty damn good _crime of passion._

Marielle glares at Lauren. “What did you just say to me?”

Lauren shuffles awkwardly and clears her throat. “I said to go fuck yourself.”

“You’re just going to stand there?” Marielle addresses Camila this time. “Your little pet is saying all of this to me and you’re not going to do anything?”

“I’m not her pet,” Lauren beats Camila to it, “I’m her girlfriend _and_ her best friend. And I’m a better friend to her than you ever were. You manipulated her, you made her feel like she couldn’t be who she is and express herself fully without losing you, and that’s not what friends are supposed to do. Friends love you unconditionally, no matter who you are or what you’re like. You didn’t do that for her, so you don’t at all deserve her forgiveness or friendship.”

Camila stares at her girlfriend in amazement, because the last time she’d been in Marielle’s presence, she’d said about three things because she was far too shy and frightened to do anything. Seeing her girlfriend’s new found confidence in action makes Camila’s stomach do backflips, because she’s so unbelievably proud of how far Lauren has come.

“Oh, and, uh, go fuck yourself,” Lauren adds, “but this time not because you upset Camila. This time because you upset me by being an ableist bitch.”

Marielle stares at her in shock, and when she’s about to open her mouth to retort, someone – who Camila presumes is her class teacher – calls her back over. So, Camila sends her the fakest smile she possibly can and says, “I think my _girlfriend_ said everything that needs to be said. Bye now.”

As Marielle turns on her heel and stalks away from them, Camila turns to Lauren and practically throws her arms around her girlfriend. “I fucking love you. Love you so much.”

“I know,” Lauren kisses the top of her head, “I love you too. Are you feeling okay?”

“Am _I_ feeling okay?” Camila pulls away and looks at her in disbelief. “I should be- more like- are _you_ feeling okay?”

“Why would I be upset?” Lauren asks her, rocking on her heels, “That felt good. I like that kind of conflict, where I can show people how stupid they are.”

Camila snorts, but pulls her girlfriend in for another hug. “I’m so fucking proud of you for standing up to her. You’re so confident and it’s amazing.”

“You never answered my question.” Lauren distractedly replies. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m- I’m _perfect_.” Camila weaves her fingers through Lauren’s and points ahead of them. “To the sharks?”

“Yes,” Lauren smiles to herself. “To the sharks.”

 


	50. Chapter 50

“Happy autistic pride day!”

Lauren smiles when she feels arms wrap around her waist, and she’s incredibly happy, because Lucy never used to hug her, but now she always gets a hug when they meet up.

“Yes,” Lauren nods and rocks on her heels as Lucy pulls back, giving her a fist bump as usual, “happy autistic pride day, Lucy. Is Vero with you?”

“She’s bringing a cake in.” Lucy tells her. “Is Camila here?”

“She’s in the lounge watching TV with Ally.” Lauren says, pointing towards the door. “You can go through and say hi to them, I’ll help Vero.”

“Alright then.” Lucy hugs her again and snuggles her face into Lauren’s neck. “I missed you, Lo. I haven’t seen you for ages.”

“You saw me at art class,” Lauren points out, tapping out a pattern on Lucy’s back. “On Wednesday.”

“Yes, but I haven’t _hung out_ with you for ages.” Lucy retorts, smiling when Vero walks in carrying a cake in her hands. “We made the cake ourselves. It’s vanilla how you like it.”

“Thank you!” Lauren smiles and takes the cake from Vero. “I’ll put it in the kitchen for us to have later.”

As Lucy and Vero make their way into the lounge, Lauren drops the cake off in the kitchen, and she’s about to follow them in when there’s another knock on the front door and she opens it to see Dinah and Normani.

“Hey, Lauser,” Dinah greets her with a grin, “happy autism pride day. We didn’t get you a present.”

“Our attendance is present enough,” Normani adds with a teasing smile, pulling her in for a hug. “How are you?”

“I’m really good,” Lauren rocks on her heels, “today is a good day, I think. Thank you for coming to mine and Lucy’s pride day.”

“Anything for our bestie,” Normani says as she pulls away, “right, babe?”

Dinah turns bright red at the nickname and Lauren has to hold back her laugh. “Yeah. Anything for you, Ralph.”

Lauren leads them into the lounge and announces, “Norminah is here!” before crossing over to the couch Camila and Ally are sat on, squishing in between them so she can sit by her girlfriend. “So- um… Lucy? Do you want to say anything? About Asperger’s, I mean.”

Lucy clears her throat, and Lauren kind of tunes out a bit, because Camila has pulled her onto her lap and started giving her tummy rubs, and that always distracts her. Lauren’s head is buried in Camila’s chest, and she’s listening to her girlfriend’s heartbeat as Camila’s fingers, calloused from guitar playing, trace patterns along her stomach.

“Hey, Camren,” Dinah gets Lauren’s attention, “you’re going to like this. Mani and I are officially together.”

Lauren looks up with a frown. “I thought that happened ages ago.”

“No, Laur,” Normani laughs, “we’ve been going out on dates for a while, but after our date last night, Dinah officially asked me to be her girlfriend.”

“Oh,” Lauren’s eyes widen in realisation. “Okay then. I’m happy for you guys.”

“Our plan worked, Lo,” Camila grins, “we were successful captains. Ally, you’re next.”

“Y’all don’t need to help me,” Ally says, “I’m fine being single. But I’m happy for you guys.”

Lauren nudges Camila in the side. “You stopped rubbing my belly.”

“Oh, sorry,” Camila resumes again and Lauren smiles to herself, kissing her girlfriend’s cheek. “Didn’t realise that belly rubs were so demanding.”

“Yes,” Lauren mumbles, “I like tummy rubs. Don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” Camila kisses her cheek, “But don’t fall asleep.”

“I won’t,” Lauren mimics, shaking her head, “I’m not tired.”

“Really?” Camila raises an eyebrow, “you look pretty tired. Are you sure you’re not about to go to sleep?”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums, shifting off Camila’s lap and rubbing at her eyes, “see? I’m wide awake.”

“Yeah,” Camila laughs and runs a hand through Lauren’s hair, kissing her cheek, “you look _so_ awake right now. Did you sleep last night?”

“I stayed up quite late watching _Game of Thrones_ ,” Lauren mumbles, stretching and pointing towards the kitchen. “If any of you want food, Camz and I made sandwiches. And Vero and Lucy made cake, and Ally made cookies, so… eat as much as you want, because whatever you don’t eat, Camz will have later. And then we’re going to play board games and I’m going to put my stim playlist on through my speaker. If that’s okay.”

Ally smiles. “Lauren, it’s a day for you and Lucy to express yourselves. You don’t need to ask us if things are okay.”

“Well, I still want to be a good host,” Lauren murmurs. “I like being a good host.”

“While you be a cute little host, I’m going to go and get cake,” Camila stretches and kisses Lauren goodbye before heading into the kitchen. She doesn’t expect Vero to follow her, but she figures the other girl probably wants cake too.

Camila is cutting herself a slice when Vero moves to stand next to her. “Is it ever hard for you?”

Camila blinks in confusion. “What?”

“Dealing with Lauren,” Vero says, “and her problems.”

Camila is even more confused. “Uh, no. Dating Lauren is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. Why?”

“Well…” Vero lets out a sigh and shrugs, “I’ve been thinking about breaking up with Lucy.”

“ _What_?” Camila’s eyes widen, “why? Lucy seems really sweet and she really seems to love you.”

“It’s just hard with her. Going out and… having everyone stare at me like it’s my fault she’s having a panic attack.” Vero sighs. “I love her, but… sometimes that isn’t enough. And there’s this girl that I met at my new job. She’s-”

“Look, do whatever you have to do,” Camila interrupts, “but don’t do it today. Let her be happy on a day her and Lauren have designated to express themselves. I really think you should think about it, but… nobody should be forced to stay in a relationship they’re not happy with.”

“I feel horrible about it.” Vero continues and Camila had kind of hoped that she could’ve ended the conversation there, because she kind of sucks at advice giving. “I know she can’t help it and I knew what I was signing up for when I said yes to going out with her for the first time, but lately it’s just been so much harder than it used to be.”

“I don’t get why you’re talking to me about this,” Camila replies, “we hardly know each other.”

“Sometimes it can be comforting to talk to someone you don’t know well,” Vero shrugs, “and you get it. You’re dating Lauren, and she has it worse than Lucy. She’s autistic. So I figured maybe you’d get what I mean.”

“Well, I don’t.” Camila shakes her head. “I love Lauren and every part of our relationship. Sure, sometimes she doesn’t get my jokes, but she still laughs anyway. And maybe she’s a little blunt, but I think it’s good to be honest.”

“Look, I get that, okay?” Vero replies as Camila grabs herself a fork. “But there’s the panic attacks. There’s the tantrums. There’s-”

“Vero!” Lucy comes into the room and wraps her arms around Vero’s waist. “Come see the board games that Lauren has. She said you could pick one. Well, she said I could pick, but I want you to pick for me.”

“Hey, Lucy,” Camila is quick to interrupt before Vero can say anything, “do you want some sandwiches?”

Lucy lets go of Vero and nods, “Yes please. Lauren says you made bacon sandwiches. Like a BLT but without lettuce and tomato, because I don’t like lettuce and tomato.”

“We did,” Camila nods and guides Lucy to the plates, watching as Vero heads back into the lounge, “the sandwiches are over there.”

“Lauren says we’re playing Scrabble,” Lucy announces as she picks up two bacon sandwiches and puts them on a plate. “I think that’s kind of pointless, because it’s obvious that Lauren’s going to win. She always does, she’s really good at Scrabble. I always beat her at Cluedo, though.”

“Lauren’s destroyed me at every board game at least once.” Camila agrees. “She probably will win Scrabble.”

“Do you know if Keana and Alexa are coming?” Lucy asks. “I miss them, I don’t see them other than art class, really. They’re more Lauren’s friends than mine.”

Camila’s face settles into a frown. “Well… I don’t know if they’re coming. But do you have friends that Lauren doesn’t know?”

“I don’t really have friends,” Lucy casually replies, picking at the crust on her bread, “Vero’s my best friend as well as my girlfriend, and Lauren’s my soulmate. But other than that, I don’t really have any friends. Maybe Keana, but we’ve only hung out alone one time, when she was sad about a break up and didn’t have anyone else to talk to.”

Camila feels a pang in her chest. “I’m your friend.”

“You are?” Lucy looks up and smiles at her for a moment. “Okay then. Bump me.”

“Bump you?” Camila raises an eyebrow and smiles in realisation when Lucy holds her fist out. Camila bumps hers against Lucy’s. “Oh. That’s what you mean. I get it now.”

“I’m glad you like me.” Lucy says. “I thought maybe you didn’t. Because Lauren said she used to have a crush on me and that you knew that and that you were jealous before.”

“I was jealous, but that was forever ago. When Lauren and I first started dating.” Camila specifies. “I get your soulmate thing now.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Lucy smiles at her, “I was really happy when Lauren told me she had a girlfriend. She was always really scared that she wouldn’t find anyone. And also, she told me that she loved you. And I told her that she should tell you, but she said no because she was scared you’d be upset. I don’t know why you’d be upset if someone loved you. That’s dumb.”

Camila bites back her smile. “She tells you a lot, huh?”

“Oh, yes, Lauren tells me everything,” Lucy replies, rocking on her heels, “even things she doesn’t tell that other girl, Normani. Because I get it, since I’m on the autism spectrum too.”

Camila doesn’t bother hiding her smile this time. “I’m really glad she has a friend like you, Lucy. Someone she can relate to.”

Lucy claps her hands three times. “Yes. I’m glad I have Lauren as well, she’s my soulmate. And a really good hugger.”

“That’s true,” Camila agrees, “she gives the best hugs. When she’s not too focused on getting tummy rubs.”

Lucy nods. “I never let Lauren hug me much until lately, because her hugs make me happy. Same as Vero’s, but I love Lauren different.”

Camila’s smile falters a bit at the mention of Vero, and she really hopes that the other girl will reconsider all of her thoughts, because Lucy’s almost as sweet as Lauren.

The younger Latina is about to reply, but Lauren wanders into the kitchen with a frown. “How long does it take to get cake?”

“I got my cake a while ago, babe,” Camila laughs, “I was just talking to Lucy while she gets her sandwiches. She tells me you’re planning on destroying us all at Scrabble.”

“Yes, also Monopoly,” Lauren nods, “I will collect all my blue properties again and you will be bankrupt and have to marry me to support yourself financially.”

“I’d marry you anyway,” Camila rolls her eyes and takes Lauren’s hand, “Lucy and I are officially BFFs. We fist bumped in confirmation.”

Lauren beams. “Good, I’m glad. Even though I already knew you liked each other. Lucy is going to be my maid of honour at our wedding.”

“Yeah, Lauren promised,” Lucy reiterates, “she said Dinah would probably be yours.”

Camila hums in thought, “Hadn’t really thought about it. But you’re probably right.”

“Knew I would be,” Lauren smiles to herself, “I’m always right.”

“Well, not _always_ ,” Camila says, “just mostly. You’re definitely not right when you said your hat from the zoo wasn’t ugly.”

Lauren pouts. “I’ll wear it right now just to annoy you if you call it ugly again.”

“I’m _joking_ ,” Camila promises her, kissing her cheek, “for that, I’ll give you extra tummy rubs later. Okay?”

Lauren beams. “Okay then. If you’ll give me tummy rubs, you can make fun of my hat all you want.”

“Good to know I have a free pass to annoy you,” Camila smirks and squeezes her girlfriend around the waist. “Anyway, let’s go play your board games. Come on, Lucy. I’m rooting for you to dethrone the board game queen over here.”

Lauren pouts again and Camila feels herself melt. “You should be rooting for me! I’m your girlfriend.”

“Yeah, but you beat me like, _every time_ we play a board game,” Camila points out, “naturally, I want my revenge.”

“But…” Lauren frowns to herself, “you love me. So you should be on my side.”

“I’m always on your side, babe,” Camila laughs, “just not with this. I’m on Lucy’s side with this.”

“Thank you,” Lucy smiles, “I like your Camila, Lo. She’s fun.”

“Yeah, I’m fun,” Camila reiterates, “take that, Lolo lion.”

Lauren blushes. “I love it when you call me Lolo lion. You said- when you were drunk you said my hair is my mane.”

“Yeah,” Camila smiles, “it’s a pretty mane.”

“It’s black, too,” Lauren says, rocking on her heels, “that means that if we were in a pride, I would be- um, I would be the most respected and sought after. Sexually, I mean.”

Camila pouts. “I don’t care how many lions want you. You’re mine.”

“I like monogamy,” Lauren replies, “I enjoy being yours. We’re exclusive, so even if I was a lion, I wouldn’t be able to date any of the other lionesses. Because I love you and we’re exclusive.”

“You’re the cutest,” Camila ruffles Lauren’s hair and nods towards the door, “come on then. Let’s let Lucy destroy the Scrabble Queen.”

“No!” Lauren shakes her head and looks over at Lucy, “You can’t beat me, I always win.”

“I know, you probably will win, unless one of your friends beats you.” Lucy laughs. “I’ll beat you at Cluedo later though.”

Lauren sends Camila a triumphant smile. “See? She’s not going to beat me.”

“Fine then,” Camila cracks her knuckles. “I guess it’s up to me, then. You’re going _down_ , Lauren Michelle.”

Lauren laughs at her. “Sure. Okay. You suck at board games though. I remember- remember when we played Scrabble the last time? You were losing so much that you flipped the board.”

“Okay, shut up, that was just a bad day in general,” Camila defends herself, “I had really bad cramps and you weren’t exactly going easy on me.”

“It wouldn’t be a real victory if she let you win,” Lucy points out, linking arms with Lauren as they walk back into the lounge where Ally and Normani are setting up a Monopoly board. “Cramps or no cramps.”

“Yeah,” Lauren agrees, sticking her tongue out at Camila. “When you finally beat me, it’ll be a real victory and you’ll feel better about it. And you’ll have full bragging rights.”

Camila lets out a long sigh as she sits down next to Dinah. “Fine. Whatever. I’m still not happy that you’re so good at these games though.”

Dinah laughs. “She’s like, obsessed with board games. Every time we had a sleepover when we were kids, she’d make us play them because she knew she’d win.”

Ally hums in agreement. “She’s never a sore winner, though. You have to give her that. She’s always like, _oh, better luck next time_.”

“That’s because she knows she’ll win next time too,” Normani adds, sending a blushing Lauren a teasing grin. “Right, Laur?”

“Well, I mean, kind of,” Lauren shuffles awkwardly and rests her head on Camila’s shoulder, “anyway, Manibear, tell us all how Dinah asked you to be her girlfriend? It’ll be fun to hear because- um, because Camz and I are the captains of Norminah and also Dinah will get all blushy and it’s funny to watch.”

“You’re a fucking jerk, Ralph,” Dinah sends Lauren a mock glare, “but _fine_. Since you asked, I was romantic as hell and did it after our date on total impulse. Unlike you. I recall Walz telling me that she had to ask you to ask her.”

“Well, that- she- that’s _her_ fault,” Lauren pouts and looks up at Camila, “right, Camz? That’s your fault. You kept telling me that we had to wait to become exclusive so I didn’t think I should ask you but then I couldn’t tell when the right time was.”

Lucy laughs, “Lo, you just ask whenever. That’s what I did with Vero, right? We went on one date and then I asked you, and you said you’d have to think about it and then you said yes a few days after.”

Vero looks up, and Camila sees the guilt in her eyes. “Yeah, Luc.”

“It’s nearly our two year anniversary,” Lucy smiles to herself and shuffles over to sit with her girlfriend, and Camila feels herself getting progressively angrier; she figures she’s kind of a momma bear when it comes to protecting her friends. “In… a month and a half. Just after Christmas.”

“Camz,” Lauren distracts her, “do you want to play Monopoly? It’s only for two to six players and there’s seven of us, _and_ Keana and Alexa will be coming soon, and you suck the most.”

“I suck the most?” Camila repeats, sending her girlfriend a surprised look. “Damn. Brutal, Lo.”

“No, I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I was just stating an observation,” Lauren defends herself, “but it’s true, you suck the most out of all of us. Do you want to play or not?”

“Well, I mean, I was planning on _vanquishing_ you at it,” Camila voices her train of thought, “but I guess I’ll save you the defeat and be on your team. Team Camren.”

Lauren hums in thought. “You wouldn’t have beaten me. But we can collect all of the blue properties together!”

“Nope,” Dinah interrupts, “the blue ones are like, the best. And I think _I’ll_ be collecting those.”

Lauren sticks her tongue out at Dinah and scrunches her nose up in disgust. “They’re mine. But I want the light blue ones specifically, since light blue is my favourite colour.”

“I want the yellow ones then,” Ally interrupts, “if Lo gets to shotgun properties, I do too.”

“You’re a bad influence, Laur,” Normani laughs, “you’ve sucked Ally up into your life of crime and cheating.”

Dinah snorts, “Ally _sin_ is making an appearance.”

Lauren rolls her eyes and stands up, stretching. “I’m going to get Dash. I told Taylor to look after him for me while we all hang out, but I want you all to meet him.”

“Your new puppy?” Lucy moves away from Vero with wide eyes. “Can I cuddle him?”

“Sure,” Lauren nods, “don’t start the game without me, I’ll be back in- um, in _two seconds_.”

Once Lauren has left the room and Camila hears her go up the stairs, Dinah pokes her in the side. “So, Mila… haven’t spoken to you about Lauser for a while.”

Camila narrows her eyes at her friend. “Well… everything’s fine. Don’t know why you’re being such a weirdo.”

“Did you two have a good anniversary? Usually I get loads of texts about it when you go on a date or something.” Dinah points out, smirking at her. “But that particular night… nothing. I’m guessing you were _busy_.”

Instead of succumbing to Dinah’s teasing, Camila rolls her eyes and decides to take a leaf out of Lauren’s book; by employing overt bluntness. “Yeah, actually, I was quite busy eating her out.”

When Dinah nearly chokes on air, Camila feels quite proud of herself. “Jesus _Christ_ , Walz.”

Ally, Normani and Vero look equally as surprised at Camila’s casual confession, but Lucy is more focused on Lauren, who’s just walked back into the room with Dash in her arms. “Hi, this is Dash, everyone. He’s my new best friend.”

As Lauren sits back down and passes Dash to Lucy over the game board, the rest of their friends seem to get over their shock and Dinah turns back into her usual teasing self. “So, Ralph, how’d the lingerie we bought work out with Mila?”

“Oh, she likes it a lot,” Lauren casually replies, “I’ve worn it twice now, and while it’s quite uncomfortable because it’s not a soft material like my usual underwear, I like how much Camz likes it.”

Normani laughs. “Damn, Lo. Sex talk in front of all your friends is like, no big deal, huh?”

“What?” Lauren frowns. “We’re not talking about sex. We’re talking about underwear.”

“Did we walk in on something?”

Camila turns to the living room door and smiles as Alexa and Keana walk into the room, watching as Lauren pulls them both in for a bear hug. “No, you didn’t walk in on anything. Mani and Dinah were just asking me about underwear.”

Keana raises an eyebrow. “Weird conversational topic.”

“They were asking me about sexy lingerie,” Lauren clarifies, “and if Camz liked it when I wore it.”

Alexa snorts with laughter. “You wore _sexy lingerie_ for your girlfriend and didn’t give me the gossip first? You’re an _awful_ friend, Jauregui.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Lauren rocks on her heels, not picking up on Alexa’s sarcasm, “I’ll do better next time. Anyway, we’re playing Monopoly, but you can only have up to six players.”

Lauren leads Alexa and Keana over to the Monopoly board, and points to Vero and Lucy, “You two can be a team too. Team Vercy, and-”

Keana shakes her head, laughing when Lucy hugs her, “Nope, Lucy and I are a team. Sorry to steal your girlfriend, Vero.”

Camila notes that Vero doesn’t look all that upset. “No, it’s fine. You two be a team.”

Lauren looks around for a moment and hums in thought. “So… Camz and I are a team, Keana and Lucy are a team and… _Norminah_ can be a team. Then we have six players but… we don’t at the same time.”

Camila moves and pulls Lauren onto her lap. “There. I’ll give you tummy rubs while you win for us.”

Lauren leans down and kisses her before picking up the dice. “Okay. Don’t worry, I’ll crush everyone. Team Camren is the best.”

“Yeah.” Camila grins. “Team Camren rules.”

-

“Hey, no, it’s _not_ fair,” Dinah practically throws the Scrabble board off the table, “I hate this game.”

Camila laughs at her, aware of the stern look Ally sends her for it after. “You’re just upset because you suck.”

“Another reason why this game – and _all_ the games we’ve played – are unfair.” Dinah shoots back. “Because _you_ get Lauren, and she’s better than all of us at this.”

Normani squeezes her hand over the table. “D, calm down, babe.”

Dinah rolls her eyes. “You’re no help, you suck at this too. I want Lauren next time. Why the hell does Walz get Lauren anyway?”

“Because I’m her girlfriend, idiot,” Camila rolls her eyes and snuggles her face into Lauren’s neck, dotting kisses on her girlfriend’s pale skin. “Ignore her and win for us, babe.”

“No, Ralph, you’re on my team now,” Dinah folds her arms across her chest, “Chancho, you get Mani.”

“No!” Normani protests, shaking her head, “I at least want Lucy on my side. She has a chance of winning. No offence, Mila, but you suck.”

Lucy looks up from where she’s sat playing with Dash on the floor. “No thanks. I’d rather play with Lauren’s puppy. I don’t really know any of you, anyway. Other than Lauren and Camila. Now that Keana, Alexa and Vero are gone I feel kind of awkward.”

“Why’d Vero go home, anyway?” Dinah asks as she picks the Scrabble board up and starts trying to recreate what it looked like before her little outburst. “Didn’t you guys come together?”

“She felt sick,” Lucy shrugs, “but I wanted to stay for a while and play with Dash.”

“He likes you,” Lauren says, looking up from her phone; Camila glances down at the screen and realises that her girlfriend is debating what picture of them to use as her lock screen. “I think he likes you and Ally especially.”

Ally laughs. “That’s just because I gave him some cookie. I couldn’t resist those eyes.”

“Ally, the ugliest alien in the entire universe could come down to earth and you’d give it some cookies.” Dinah points out. “You’re just like that. And then you’d claim it was because it’s _so cute_ and you _couldn’t resist_.”

“For that comment, you’re banned from cookies,” Ally grabs Dinah’s plate and slides it across the table to Camila, “there, Mila. I know you’ll vacuum those up in minutes.”

“Ally, you are my new favourite person.” When Lauren jabs her in the side and coughs loudly, she corrects herself, “ _second_ favourite person.”

“That’s better,” Lauren sends her a satisfied smile, “I’m always your favourite, you can’t change that.”

“You weren’t included in that,” Camila rolls her eyes, “that was a list of my favourite _platonic_ people. But whatever. You’re my best friend too, so I _guess_ you can wriggle your way into that list as well.”

Lauren kisses her and beams, “I was thinking about us last night. And our future.”

“ _Our_ future,” Camila repeats. “I like the sound of that. Go on.”

“Well, you know how you said you didn’t know what you wanted to do?” Lauren asks. “Like for a job? Well… you can try out anything you want to try. But I think you could be a songwriter.”

Camila hums in thought. “That’s always been a dream. I was thinking about things like that, actually, and I had an idea.”

“What’s your idea?” Lauren asks, looking over the Scrabble board to make sure that Dinah has perfectly replicated how it was before. “I bet it’s really good.”

“Well…” Camila shrugs and fiddles with Lauren’s fingers, “I was thinking about teaching music. But- um, to autistic kids.”

Lauren stares at her for a moment, and then her face breaks out into a grin. “Yes! That’s a wonderful idea. You’ll be really good with them, I bet, since you’re so understanding with me, and you’re a really good musician. That’s perfect!”

“You really think it’s a good idea?” Camila asks. “You think I could do it?”

“For definite!” Lauren nods. “You’d be so good with them, Camzi. You’ll be super understanding and- and it’ll just- it’ll be perfect for you. And I can maybe help sometimes, when I have free time.”

Camila rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder and smiles. “Good. I think that’d be good too, you helping out, I mean. They could see… someone they can relate to and how successful you are. How successful you’re going to be, I mean. When you’re a famous artist.”

Lauren’s eyes widen. “Oh, that reminds me, I submitted one of my paintings of you to the gallery and if it’s up there, it can be- be eligible for auctions. Someone could buy my painting.”

“Lolo, that’s amazing!” Camila congratulates her. “I’m proud of you. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Well, it might not get accepted into the gallery yet.” Lauren shrugs. “I didn’t want to get your hopes up or anything.”

“Lo,” Camila rolls her eyes, “they love you at the gallery. Of course it’ll get accepted.”

Lauren smiles. “You think?”

“Ralph,” Dinah interrupts, “if they don’t accept your art, then they’re obviously idiots who don’t even know what art _is_. You’re the best artist I know, girl.”

Normani nods. “Dinah’s right. They’re bound to accept it. Listen to your girl, Camila knows what she’s talking about too. They love you there.”

“And if it’s not accepted,” Ally adds, “I’ll make you brownies as a consolation. You’ll get the brownies anyway when it _is_ accepted, though.”

Lucy hums in agreement. “Yeah, Lo, you’re the best in our art class too. They’ll definitely put your painting up.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “Yeah. You guys are right. I don’t need to worry.”

“That’s right,” Dinah nods, “but you _do_ need to take your fucking turn in Scrabble before I throw the board at your head this time.”

Lauren pouts. “Sometimes you’re so mean.”

“You love me, Ralph,” Dinah sends her a mock grin, “and I love you too. Even if you are a little weirdo.”

“You’re the weirdo,” Lauren replies, “allistic people are weird. Right, Luc?”

“Yep,” Lucy agrees from the floor, not bothering to look up, “definitely weirder than us.”

“I’m not weird,” Camila pouts at her girlfriend and sends her the best puppy dog eyes she can muster, “I’m the most normal human in the world.”

Lauren laughs and kisses the tip of her nose. “You’re the weirdest of them all, Camz.”

“Wow, great,” Camila sarcastically replies, “other girls get _fairest of them all_. But me? Nope. I get the _weirdest_. Thanks, Lolo, your chivalry is off the charts.”

Lauren takes her turn in Scrabble, effectively getting them another hundred points, and then glances up at her for a moment. “Were you being sarcastic?”

“Yeah,” Camila laughs and squeezes her hand, “I’m fine with being the weirdest. So long as I’m the weirdo who has the cutest girlfriend.”

Lauren smiles. “Yes. I am the cutest girlfriend.”

“And one day,” Camila pokes her girlfriend in the cheek, “you’ll be the cutest wife.”

Lauren bounces herself on Camila’s lap and nods. “Yes. The cutest wife. I am excited for the day I can call you my wife. That will be wonderful. When- um, when will be the right time for a proposal? After college, or…”

“You can propose any time you want, loser,” Camila promises her, “it’s just the actual marriage we’ll have to wait for. At least we’re financially able to have one. They’re pretty expensive.”

“Well, we just… won’t invite lots of people, then,” Lauren decides, “Like Dinah. She doesn’t need to be invited.”

“Rude,” Dinah reaches over the table, and signals that she’s about to touch Lauren, before giving her a light shove. “You’re the worst, Lauser. I honestly question why I’m friends with you. You’re so mean to me and then you get away with it every time because you’re all cute and unsuspecting. But you’re actually Satan’s spawn.”

“You’re the mean one,” Lauren replies, “tell her, Camz. Tell her how nice I am.”

“Lauren’s the _nicest_ ,” Camila puts her arm around her girlfriend and kisses her cheek, “Team Lolo for life.”

“That’s fine, I have Mani _and_ Ally,” Dinah retorts, “I don’t need you two. And look, three vs. two.”

“Nope,” Lauren shakes her head, “we have Lucy on our team too. Right, Luc?”

“Yeah,” Lucy looks up and puts Dash on her lap, “what are we talking about?”

“Whose side you’re on. Lauren or Dinah,” Ally explains, “you have to pick one, but I think the answer is obvious. And Dinah, I pick you since Lucy’s obviously going to pick Lauren. But I’m impartial all the way.”

“You’re right, I choose Lauren,” Lucy replies, “Lauren’s my soulmate. Right, Lo?”

“Right,” Lauren nods, “so… there. Three against three. You don’t win either way. _And_ I have Lex and Keana and Vero. So I’d beat you in a fight any day, because I’m the nicest and I have more friends.”

“My family is the size of a small army,” Dinah points out, “they’d take you down in seconds.”

“No, because Seth wouldn’t want to hurt Auntie Lolo,” Lauren points out with a triumphant grin, “and your family would probably side with Seth over you, since he’s small and cute.”

Dinah scowls at her. “You’re the worst. Stop winning people over. I was friends with Mila first. You didn’t even like each other at first.”

“No, I liked her, she just didn’t like me because she thought I was rude and didn’t like her,” Lauren points out, “and- um, she’s in love with me. So… I’m her favourite.”

Camila holds her hands up in surrender, “Ladies, there’s enough of me to go around. No need to fight, I know I’m pretty amazing and all that, but don’t ruin a friendship over it.”

“You’re not funny, Walz,” Dinah rolls her eyes, “nobody laughed at that.”

“I did,” Lauren laughs – a little delayed reaction, but she probably hadn’t realised that Camila was trying to make a joke in the first place. “See?”

“Yeah, _see_?” Camila reiterates, wrapping her arms around Lauren’s waist and kissing her cheek. “I love my Lolo lion.”

“Nope, even when I’m in a relationship, that’s still gross,” Dinah says, shaking her head, “you two are disgustingly in love.”

Lauren smiles proudly. “I love being in love.”

“And I love loving you,” Camila replies, pausing to kiss her cheek, “so it works out pretty well. A win-win situation.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “a win-win.”

As Ally takes her turn in the game, Camila brushes Lauren’s hair back and pulls her in for a soft kiss. “Happy autistic pride day, baby. Even though you have pride in yourself every day, I’m glad we could do this. I love seeing you happy and you’ve been smiley and adorable all day.”

“Thanks for- for coming today,” Lauren says, maintaining eye contact for a moment, “thank you for supporting me.”

“I’m your girlfriend,” Camila points out, “it’s part of my job to support you and keep that beautiful smile on your face.”

“I’m just-” Lauren cuts herself off with a sigh, “you don’t try to force me into some kind of societal mould of what’s _normal_. You don’t try to dull everything down. You just… let me be me, and let me be happy. You don’t- you don’t act weird if I stim in public when we’re together and- and it means so much to me. Thank you for loving me for _me_.”

“Lauren, you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” Ignoring Dinah and Normani both clearing their throats loudly and Ally telling them to shut up, Camila continues. “Why wouldn’t I love you for you? You’re so kind and gentle and loving and supportive and I’m so glad I can be that for you too. I’ve told you this before, but your autism is a part of you. I love _all_ of you. I love the way you crush everyone at board games, how talented you are at art, and how sweet you are to every single person. And I love your autism.”

Lauren buries her face in Camila’s neck, and the younger Latina can feel her smiling. “Love you so much.”

“I know,” Camila replies, “now take our turn in Scrabble before Dinah tries flaying you.”

“Okie dokie,” Lauren smiles and shifts to look at the game. “You’re going down, Norminah. And Ally too, but I don’t want to be mean to you.”

“After this, you’re on my time for the next game,” Ally tells her, “and team Alren will dominate.”

As their friends argue over who gets to team up with Lauren for the next game, Camila just smiles. Partly because she knows that Lauren’s going to pick her anyway, but mostly because of the unwavering smile on her girlfriend’s face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't going to update this but since like 50% of my readers are in the US, I figured I'd give you at least something to make you smile now that you have Hitler 2.0 in charge. Still completely shocked that there's that many idiots in your country (no offence). 
> 
> All those who voted for Hillary, all POC, women, and LGBT+ people, I love you and stay strong.
> 
> If you voted Trump/third party/didn't vote at all when you could've, 1) go fuck yourself and 2) I wish you a painful existence and a fiery death


	51. Chapter 51

“Merry Christmas!” Lauren announces in a sing-song voice when Camila opens the front door. “Let’s go shopping!”

“Lo…” Camila rolls her eyes, “it’s _November_. Cool it with the festivities for a moment, yeah?”

“You’re a festivity.” Lauren childishly retorts. “And it’s never too early. Don’t be a Grinch. I want to get my Christmas shopping finished today, and you’re coming with me, and you need to get into the festive mood!”

“I haven’t even _started_ my Christmas shopping,” Camila says, and Lauren can’t comprehend how her girlfriend is so unorganised, “and you’re talking about how you’re _finishing_ today? Crazy, Lauren Michelle. You’re crazy.”

“Last year I finished in October,” Lauren says, rocking on her heels, “so I’m a little behind schedule. But I’d like you to come with me and help me finish my shopping. I will help you start yours, too.”

“Okay then,” Camila nods and gestures for Lauren to come inside, so the older girl walks into her house and closes the door behind her. “What do you want for Christmas, anyway?”

Lauren watches as Camila starts putting her shoes on. “I don’t know. Lots of hugs and tummy rubs, please.”

“Lauren,” Camila rolls her eyes and pauses in the middle of tying her laces to look up at Lauren, “you know I meant what _material_ item. I give you hugs and tummy rubs every day, pretty much.”

“Well… give me extra, then. And a card, I _love_ Christmas cards!” Lauren smiles to herself, thinking back to the Christmas card she’d received from Ally last year – it had been really glittery and there was gorgeous scenery on it. She’ll probably put it up again this year. “Get me a pretty Christmas card, please.”

“Okay, but what _present_ do you want?” Camila persists, and Lauren rolls her eyes this time, because she doesn’t want Camila to get her anything. “And before you say _nothing_ , that’s not an answer. You’re my girlfriend and I’m getting you something.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Can you get me a bottle of mulled wine, please? But I still want my card.”

“Sure, babe,” Camila nods, “I’ll have to make my mom buy that, though. I’m not exactly legal. Unless you want the non-alcoholic kind.”

“No, normal please,” Lauren is quick to reply, “and I already have your present. So you don’t need to tell me what you want.”

“Organised little cutie,” Camila smiles and pulls her in for a kiss, “okay. Drag me out on your festive adventure.”

“I’m not- well, I am organised, but mostly just because malls are even _more_ crowded around the holidays, and some things I’d rather pick up in store than buy online,” Lauren says, tapping her hand against her leg. “Anyway, I have a schedule. First, we get cocoa in my favourite little coffee shop. Then, we go shopping and I- um, I am sorry if-”

“If you’re about to apologise for going into sensory overload, I’ll smack you,” Camila threatens, but Lauren knows she’s only joking, “you never have to apologise for that, baby. I promise. Sometimes it happens and you can’t help it.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods and sends Camila a smile, “good, then. I don’t think it will happen, but… just in case it’s busy. And- and, um, I’d like it if we held hands in the mall today.”

“I would’ve held your hand anyway,” Camila replies as they head out to the car, “whether you like it or not, Lauren Michelle. Romantic affection is a _must_ with me.”

“Don’t call me Lauren Michelle, _Karla Camila_ ,” Lauren says as she buckles herself in, “or I won’t buy you a hot chocolate with marshmallows in it.”

“Bringing out the big guns, huh?” Camila laughs, and Lauren isn’t entirely sure what she means by that. She’s about to ask, but Camila keeps talking. “Alright, babe. No more middle naming.”

Lauren hums in agreement. “Good. I will still buy you a hot chocolate with marshmallows.”

“I’m relieved,” Camila replies, “I don’t think I’d survive without that.”

“I’ll make you one of my hot chocolates one day,” Lauren promises, “they’re not- I don’t use water in them – just warm milk. So they’re really thick and chocolatey, but not _too_ chocolatey because sometimes things are a little too rich.”

“Alright, deal,” Camila nods, “I want one of your special hot chocolates. So, I’m coming back to yours after this and you’re going to make me one.”

“Okay then,” Lauren replies, “I was planning on making myself one and then watching _The Lion King_ under my special blue blanket, but I can make one for you too.”

Camila raises an eyebrow. “Are you inviting me for blue blanket and chill?”

Lauren frowns. “No, _I_ get my blanket. I’m sure I can find one for you in the cupboard. But it’s my special blue blanket.”

“I was joking, Lo,” Camila explains herself, “I was just- usually when you’re under your blanket, you’re naked, and… yeah.”

Lauren frowns even more. “I don’t understand your jokes a lot of the time. But I bet it was funny.”

“My jokes are awful, Lo. If you weren’t autistic and understood them, you’d probably be telling me to shut up at every opportunity you could.” Camila assures her. “You’re literally the only person who doesn’t groan when I make a joke.”

“I will let you share my blue blanket, like you did before,” Lauren decides, not paying much attention to Camila’s assurance that she’d hate her jokes if she understood them, “but you can’t grab and pull at it. That’s the rule.”

“Okay, babe,” Camila reaches over and squeezes Lauren’s thigh reassuringly, and the older Latina finds herself blushing. “I’m not getting naked for you though, if that’s your motive.”

Lauren frowns at her. “All I said was that you’re allowed to share my blanket. I didn’t say I wanted you to get naked. I mean, it’d be nice, but… it’s not- it’s not necessary. We won’t be having sex. Unless you want to, and you’re in the mood for that? You’re saying lots of confusing things today, Camz.”

“Sorry, babe,” Camila sends her a small smile, “I don’t mean to be confusing. Again, I was making a joke, because usually you’re naked under your blanket. And I was joking about me being naked under it too, and how I’m not going to do that.”

“Oh,” Lauren’s eyes widen and she hums to herself, “well, you can be naked under it like me. If you want. I don’t mind. Nudity isn’t just a sexual thing, we can cuddle naked. Only if you’re comfortable though.”

“ _God_ , I love how blunt you are. I’d never be able to offer or ask things like that in a million years without feeling awkward.” Camila says as Lauren pulls into a parking space. “That’s one of the things that makes this so easy. How honest you are.”

Lauren shrugs. “Well, I suck at lying. But I would never lie to you anyway.”

Camila just laughs. “I know. That’s one of the reasons why I love you, because you’d never lie to me. And I’d never lie to you, since I suck at it just as much as you do.”

Lauren frowns to herself. “You do? I never realised that. I always thought that maybe you were honest all the time too. I couldn’t tell that you tried lying.”

“Not to you,” Camila is quick to assure her, “to people like Dinah when she asks about our sexual endeavours and I’m not comfortable answering.”

“Dinah asks about those things?” Lauren frowns, because Dinah hadn’t asked her about anything, other than asking her if she’d gone through with her plans at Disney, which Lauren had responded to with a yes. “I didn’t realise. Mani or Ally have never asked me about them.”

“They probably don’t think it’s fair to ask you.” Camila replies, and Lauren doesn’t understand why it wouldn’t be fair. “Mostly because you’re just- you ramble on about things and you’re quite blunt and maybe they think asking you would be a little unfair since you may let out private information without realising.”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and shakes her head. “I don’t- I don’t mean to do that. I’m sorry-”

“No, baby, I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” Camila assures her, “I think your bluntness is adorable. I just think that they don’t ask you because you might not be sure if it’s information that they need to know.”

“I’m- I’m good at keeping secrets.” Lauren stutters, flapping her hands in front of her. “I don’t mean to-”

“Babe, please try to calm down for me,” Camila says, and Lauren grabs hold of her hand and starts playing with Camila’s fingers. “I didn’t mean to upset you and I’m sorry. You don’t tell people secrets and I know that. You’re perfect, okay?”

“I’m- I’m perfect,” Lauren repeats, stumbling over her words a little, “can we- can we go and get- get hot chocolate now?”

“Of course, Lolo,” Camila leans over and kisses her cheek, “and it’s on me. I’m paying since you’re upset and deserve a free cup of cocoa.”

“No!” Lauren looks up at Camila in horror and shakes her head, “No. You are not allowed to pay, I will not let you and I am- um, _putting my foot down_.”

Camila raises her eyebrows at her. “You know, Lo, that’s kind of hot.”

“I- what?” Lauren blinks in confusion and taps on her leg. “What do you mean?”

“When you’re all… bossy, for lack of a better word.” Camila shrugs. “When you tell me I’m not allowed to pay and things like that. It’s attractive when you’re confident and stand up for yourself.”

“Oh,” Lauren replies, a little confused, “well, does that mean I’m not attractive when I’m shy?”

“No, you’re attractive always,” Camila replies, telling her it as though it’s a fact. “You’re the most attractive person I’ve ever met. Shy or confident. I love all sides of you.”

“Okay then,” Lauren accepts Camila’s answer, “I’m sorry if I’m a little- um, hard to talk to today. I didn’t get much sleep last night and things are more confusing than usual.”

Camila sends her an odd look. “Why didn’t you sleep?”

“I couldn’t. You know when- um, when you just can’t get comfy and your mind won’t shut up?” Lauren asks, waiting for Camila’s nod. “It was like that. I’d get really close to being asleep and then my mind would be like _hey, Lauren, let’s think about something bad like our speaking presentation in Spanish and how bad it went_ and then I was up worrying about it.”

“You don’t need to worry about the presentation, baby,” Camila promises her, “we did fine.”

“I _stuttered_ ,” Lauren murmurs, thinking back to Friday and their presentation. “I stuttered and it- it’s so bad. It will have affected my 5.0 GPA and then I’ll feel like a failure and Stanford won’t accept me and-”

“Babe, no,” Camila interrupts, shaking her head, “you stuttered _twice_ and it’s not a big deal. You could barely tell. It wasn’t a big deal, I promise you.”

“It’s not-” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and shrugs, “I wish I didn’t stutter when I’m nervous. It- it makes me feel bad. About myself, I mean. Because speaking is a basic thing and it makes me feel like I’m incompetent.”

“You’re not,” Camila assures her. “You’re the farthest thing from incompetent. And when you think about it, stuttering isn’t a big deal with you, because you’re like- you said that your parents were told you’d never speak more than just a few words. And look at you now. That’s the farthest thing from incompetent, if you’ve made this much progress.”

“I…” Lauren huffs and taps on her leg, “I still don’t like it. When I stutter, I mean.”

“But it’s okay that you do,” Camila promises. “Everyone stumbles over their words sometimes. It’s just a typical thing when you’re nervous. I ramble when I’m nervous and I never know when to shut up.”

Lauren hums. “Okay then. Anyway, hot chocolate now? My favourite coffee shop is just down the road if you’d like to go there now.”

“Yeah, okay. Hot chocolate now.” Camila nods and opens the car door, walking around to open Lauren’s for her. “And Lolo?”

Lauren blinks up at her. “Yes?”

“I love you,” Camila cups her face and pulls her in for a kiss, “love you so damn much.”

“Yes,” Lauren murmurs in reply, “love you too.”

-

Camila can tell that Lauren’s upset the second they step into the mall. She knows it’s a bad idea that they’d come here on a _good_ day, let alone a day where Lauren’s responses are sluggish and there’s dark circles under her girlfriend’s eyes, but Lauren is far too determined to finish her Christmas shopping and help Camila complete hers, too.

“We can go home, you know.” Camila offers as Lauren’s grip on her hand tightens. “You can do this online. We can scroll through Amazon and do some shopping together, on your bed, under your blue blanket.”

Lauren shakes her head. “I would like to finish my shopping today, and there are things I’d rather pick up in store.”

“ _Lauren_ ,” Camila lets out in a huff, “you’re so stubborn sometimes.”

“I know that you worry,” Lauren replies as she pulls her into a rather cramped card store, “but you don’t need to. I’m a big girl, I can handle myself.”

“I know that you’re an independent woman and all that, don’t go all Destiny’s Child on me,” Camila rolls her eyes, “but in case you haven’t noticed, the mall is crowded as hell, and crowded places are your nemesis.”

“I’m trying to- to get used to things like busy places,” Lauren mumbles, distracting herself by looking at a few Christmas cards. “Because I can’t control… when places are going to be busy or not. And sometimes you have to go to busy places. I want to- to make my parents proud.”

Camila frowns. “Are they making you do this?”

“No. No, they’re not,” Lauren shakes her head and picks up a box of Christmas cards and staring at the designs. “Nobody’s making me- I’m doing this for myself.”

Camila looks her girlfriend over for any trace of a lie. “Why?”

“Because… because I don’t want- I want to be able to do things like this on my own.” Lauren says. “I want to go shopping by myself without getting upset.”

“Baby, you might never be able to handle this kind of thing,” Camila replies, just as someone brushes against Lauren and the older Latina practically jumps on her. “But that’s okay. You’ll always have me to help, Lolo. Promise.”

“You can’t- you can’t promise that.” Lauren murmurs, putting the card she’s inspecting back down. “Nobody can promise anything. You might-”

When Lauren sucks in a breath and stops herself, Camila frowns. “Lauren. Please tell me what’s got you so upset. You’re acting weird and you said you didn’t sleep last night…”

“I was thinking about my abuela. Last night, when I couldn’t sleep.” Lauren admits, clenching the fingers on her free hand. “She- she promised she’d always be there for me. But she’s not here anymore.”

“Why were you thinking about her, Lo?” Camila asks, wanting to get to the bottom of Lauren’s bad mood. And if she figures out the cause, she can help fix it. “What do you think caused it?”

When Lauren squeezes her eyes shut and hums, Camila runs her thumb over the back of Lauren’s hand. It takes her girlfriend a few moments to answer the question properly. “I think- um, I was thinking about her because she died two years ago today. And I’m- I’m upset about it. So I thought going out with you would get my mind off it.”

“Okay,” Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek and sends her a comforting smile, “and why does your abuela have anything to do with me leaving you?”

“Because- because my abuela was sick, but she wasn’t meant to die.” Lauren mumbles. “Doctors said- they said she was getting better, and she was getting so happy and we thought she’d be discharged from hospital within a week. But- but one night my mom got a call and… and she’d had an aneurysm. It killed her instantly, pretty much. She was supposed to get _better_ and she promised me she wasn’t going to leave and then she _did_ , and it makes me think about how anyone I love and care about could leave at any time. You especially, since you’re a klutz and you could trip into the path of a moving bus or _something_.”

Camila can’t help but laugh, because while she knows that Lauren makes some valid points, it’s not something she needs to worry about. “Two things. Number _one_ is that we’re going to go back to your house, snuggle under your blue blanket and watch some movies to cheer you up. Number _two_ is that you don’t need to worry about me dying unexpectedly. I’m pretty sure I’m sticking around to annoy you for as long as possible.”

“You don’t annoy me.” Lauren mumbles, but it’s a half-hearted attempt at a joke and Camila figures that’s better than no jokes at all. “I love you. I don’t want to not have you.”

“Even if I did spontaneously combust or something,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand, signals she’s going to touch her, and presses her free hand to the left of Lauren’s chest. “I’ll be with you in your heart. In spirit. Besides, I’d probably figure out a way to come back as a ghost and haunt your ass, so… yeah. Never going to be without me, babe. I promise.”

For what seems like the first time today, Lauren actually smiles at her. “Yes. Okay. I would like to leave and go snuggle under my blue blanket. If that’s okay.”

“That’s perfectly fine.” Camila replies. “In fact, that’s the best idea you’ve had all day.”

“Alright then.” Lauren drags her gaze up to meet Camila’s and bites down on her bottom lip. “Can I kiss you?”

“You can kiss me any time you want.” Camila points out, a little surprised that Lauren had bothered asking. “You know that.”

“I mean- like, with tongue.” Lauren clarifies, rocking on her heels. “We kiss with little lip pecks in public, but I do not know if you’d be comfortable with a more… intense type of kissing. In public.”

“We’re not making out in the middle of a card store,” Camila laughs, taking Lauren by the hand again and leading her out of the mall, towards where the car is parked. “ _But_ … maybe when we’re in your room, under your special blanket. And _maybe_ you can touch my ass. And _extra maybe_ , I might not wear underwear.”

Lauren’s eyes widen and she turns bright red. “Don’t tease me.”

“I’m not teasing,” Camila assures her, “I’m just stating fact. You _might_ get to touch my ass later. Possibly.”

Lauren raises her eyebrows. “But like- I don’t, I’m not in the mood for sex today. I’m sorry if that’s what you’re trying to imply. I would like to touch your ass though, if that’s still okay. But I don’t want it to lead to anything.”

“Don’t worry,” Camila promises, “it doesn’t have to lead to anything. I’m good with a few ass grabs and then naked cuddles under your blanket. So long as you’re still up for sharing.”

“Sharing things with you?” Lauren smiles at her. “Always. You’re my princess. I’d like to share my favourite things with you.”

Camila’s stomach flips. “Good. Now let’s go. It’s time for me to comfort you.”

“Okay,” Lauren gets into the car and starts it up. “Let’s go.”


	52. Chapter 52

“Lauren.”

When Lauren opens the front door to a crying Lucy, she has no idea how to react. Her friend hadn’t told her that she was coming over, and Lucy never comes over and surprises her. Lucy always schedules, because she’s the same.

“Um… hi, Luc,” Lauren murmurs, rocking on her heels. “What are you doing here? Usually you schedule.”

“Lauren,” Lucy repeats, wiping at her eyes, “Vero broke up with me.”

As Lucy collapses into her arms, Lauren’s eyes widen, because that’s the last thing she expected. Vero and Lucy had always been a constant and she doesn’t know how to react to the news.

Lauren kicks the door closed and slowly guides Lucy upstairs, rubbing circles on her back and humming a tune, trying her best to make her friend better, but none of her friends have ever come to her for comfort after a break up, aside from Camila after the one date with Austin, but that’s nothing compared to this. Vero and Lucy were nearly together for two whole years; Camila dated Austin for a total of two hours.

She slowly sits Lucy down on the bed, clearing her throat and asking, “Are you sure? Maybe you just- um, just misinterpreted.”

“I’m sure,” Lucy sniffles, “I- I, she- she said she didn’t want me anymore. She said- said that- she met someone else. Someone she- she likes more.”

Lauren is quick to jump onto the bed and pull Lucy in for a hug. “That’s dumb. Vero loves you, why would she leave you for someone else?”

“She told me that- that it’s hard for her,” Lucy buries her face in Lauren’s neck, “that she- that it’s basically my fault. For having Asperger’s.”

“No, don’t say that,” Lauren interrupts before Lucy can go on, “It’s not- I don’t- she’s wrong. And if that’s what she thinks, if- if she thinks that you are hard to deal with, then she’s being ableist and you don’t need her. You- you can always stay with me if you need me, Lucy. You’re one of my- um, my besties.”

“I love her, Lauren,” Lucy murmurs, “I love her and- and she just doesn’t love me back anymore. I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Luc,” Lauren promises her, “it’s Vero who’s doing things wrong. She shouldn’t hurt you like she is.”

“She said that- that I wasn’t right for her,” Lucy mumbles into Lauren’s shoulder, “she said that I’d find someone else, but I don’t know if I ever will. I always thought Vero would be it for me, Lo. I thought she was my romantic soulmate.”

“Soulmates can come and go,” Lauren tells her, “Vero probably was your romantic soulmate, yes. But you’ll have other romantic soulmates out there too. You can’t lose hope, Luc.”

“I just want love,” Lucy continues, sniffling and wiping at her eyes, “I want what you have with Camila. I want someone who loves me for me and not for something they try to make me into. Why can’t anybody love me for me? Even Keana said I’m useless-”

“You’re not useless,” Lauren is quick to interrupt her, curling her hand around Lucy’s and giving it a small squeeze. “You’re the farthest thing from useless, Lucy. I love you and you’re one of my closest friends, I need you around to be my maid of honour.”

“I wish I’d known,” Lucy says, “that you had a crush on me when you did. We could be together right now.”

“Well, we could be, yes,” Lauren replies, taking the possibility into account. “But I’m happy with Camz, so it’s okay that my crush on you didn’t work out, because I have her and she treats me right and I love her so much.”

“You seem like the perfect girlfriend, Lo,” Lucy sighs, resting her head on Lauren’s shoulder and playing with the _hakuna_ ring on Lauren’s left hand. “Camila is so lucky.”

“I’m lucky too,” Lauren smiles to herself. “She’s my angel and I’m glad I have her. Would you like me to call her? She’s very good at comforting people, you know. Better than me anyway.”

Lucy stares at her for a moment before shrugging. “Yes. Okay, I’d like that. Call your Camila, please.”

Lauren pulls her phone out of her pocket and opens up her recent calls, Camila’s contact right at the very top, because the only people she ever calls are Camila and her mom if she needs something. She presses on her girlfriend’s contact and puts the phone to her ear, humming along to the dial tone until she hears Camila’s voice on the other end.

“ _Lolo,”_ she greets her, _“hey. I was actually going to call you in a little while, my mom’s making cookies and I figured you’d want one.”_

“Actually, Camz, I can’t come over,” Lauren tells her, “Lucy’s here. She’s really upset because Vero broke up with her-” at the words, Lucy chokes back another sob, “-and I was wondering if you wanted to come over and help me cheer her up. Since you’re friends now and all.”

 _“Well, I mean… I’d have to bring Sofi. My parents are going for a night out – my mom’s getting ready now while the cookies are in the oven – so I’m stuck babysitting.”_ Camila says. “ _I can come if you want, though.”_

“Yes please,” Lauren replies, “bring Sofi, too. She’s fun and great at cheering people up.”

“ _Okay. I’ll be… half an hour. I’m waiting for cookies.”_ Camila says. _“I’ll bring you both one. Cookies always make things better.”_

“Thanks, Camz,” Lauren says, “see you and Sofi in half an hour, babe.”

“ _See you soon,”_ Camila replies, adding a quick, “ _love you so much,”_ before she hangs up.

Lauren turns back to Lucy with an uncertain smile. “Camz is coming. She’s bringing cookies and her little sister, both of which are good cheer-up things. Sofi’s adorable, she’ll love you, and Camila’s mom’s cookies are good. Not as good as mine or Ally’s, but… yes.”

“Thank you for looking after me.” Lucy murmurs, burying her face in Lauren’s neck. “I mean, I kind of knew something was up with her. She’d been acting all distant and… and I just thought maybe she was tired from her new job and- I saw her. With the girl she dumped me for. They were out for dinner together and Vero _promised_ me that she was just a friend…”

“She’s nothing compared to you, Lucy,” Lauren promises, “You’re special. And you’re going to do great things, you don’t need Vero or anybody to accomplish the amazing things you’ll definitely accomplish.”

“I’m not-” Lucy cuts herself off with a huff. “I wish I wasn’t like this. I know that there’s nothing I can do to change it, but… it’s not- sometimes I hate having Asperger’s. I don’t get how you’re so proud about your autism, you used to be worse than I am, you used to always be so upset about it and how you wanted to be like everyone else-”

“That was before,” Lauren interrupts, her fingers skittering across the bare skin on Lucy’s waist where her shirt has ridden up. “Before I met Camz. Before- before I realised that I’m just as good as an allistic person. Better, even. I don’t want to change, ever. Even if in the distant future there’s some kind of magical cure to make everyone neurotypical, I wouldn’t take it. Because I’m perfect the way I am, and so are you, Luc. I practically idolised you when I had a crush on you.”

“I wish you still did.” Lucy admits, biting down on her bottom lip. “I love you and Camila together, I swear. But you’re just- you’re the best friend I have and I think we’d be a good couple. You get me. You wouldn’t leave me for being different.”

Lauren blinks in surprise, because she didn’t expect any of that. “Lucy… um, I’m flattered? I guess. But- um, I’m with Camz. And I love her. You’re my soulmate, but not- not like that.”

“I just-” Lucy wipes at her eyes and fights back another sob, “I just want somebody to love me. I wish you loved me.”

“I do! Just not in the- um, the gay way.” Lauren explains herself. “I love you in the friend way and it’d kill me to lose you, Luc. You don’t mean what you’re saying right now. You’re heartbroken and Vero left some sort of gap… and you’re trying to get me to fill it. Not because you actually like me like that, but because you know… you know I get it. And you know I wouldn’t reject you for being different, because I am too.”

Lucy lets out a small laugh, and Lauren smiles to herself, because laughs are good and it’s a sign that Lucy feels better. “You’re- you’re really perceptive. Just- help me feel better? Help me get over Vero?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “anything you need, Luc. I’m here.”

“Well… Camila’s cookies will probably help,” Lucy murmurs, “but can we play Cluedo? Mostly because I know I’ll win and the victory might make me feel better.”

“We’ll have to wait until Camz comes, I think you need three players,” Lauren says, “but sure. We can play it. I think you should talk, though. About how you feel.”

“I’m… I’m _crushed_ , Lo,” Lucy mumbles, “I loved her. And she just- just ditched me. I want to be angry at her, but I can’t, because I love her and she’s happy and- and she deserves to be happy. But she was my best friend as well. I lost my girlfriend and my best friend in the same day, and I don’t have anyone else.”

“You have me.” Lauren reminds her. “And Camila. Camila’s your friend now. Also Keana.”

“Keana’s just my friend because of you. Same with Camila.” Lucy replies. “Nobody actually- I don’t have any friends that are there just because of me. Aside from you, I mean.”

“Keana likes you a lot!” Lauren exclaims, finding it hard to see why Lucy doesn’t get that. “She always makes an effort to sit by you at art class on Wednesdays, and she went straight to you after a break up. She cares about you, Luc. Just like me.”

“Do you think…” Lucy pauses, “do you think if I asked her to hang out, she would?”

“Definitely,” Lauren replies with a smile, “I know she would.”

Eventually, Lucy lets out a sigh. “What if I’m alone forever? I don’t mean like, with friends and stuff. I mean relationship wise. What if I never find someone who loves me like that? What if I’m alone, all because I’m just a little different?”

“That won’t happen.” Lauren rolls her eyes. “Luc, you’re gorgeous and anyone can see it. Anybody would be lucky to date you, _duh_. And if- if for some weird reason, Camz and I don’t work out and you’re still single… we can try this. And see if we’re- if we could be together like that. If we’re both single. Because I still think you’re really pretty and you’re- I love you. Okay?”

“Okay,” Lucy replies after a moment. “Okay. I like that plan. I love you too, Lauren. You’re like… the only person I feel like I can talk to. Can we- can we make a routine? Where we hang out at least once a week? Vero and I always met up on Thursday nights and now… now I’m not going to have- have any social time. With anyone.”

“I will see you at art classes on Wednesdays.” Lauren says. “And maybe- maybe we can meet up on Monday nights. After I finish school, I will come to your house.”

Lucy looks up at her in surprise. “Every week?”

“Every week.” Lauren confirms. “And- and you should ask Keana to meet you on another day. Like Friday or something. So you know you’ll have social time.”

Lucy hums in thought. “I want to ask my mom if she’ll let me come to school. I know I’ve been homeschooled since I was diagnosed, but- but I feel so lonely all the time. Do you think- can you talk to her? And maybe tell her how much you like your school so she’ll let me go? Then I can spend time with you and Camila and those other girls you’re friends with.”

“I- I don’t know. Only if you’re sure.” Lauren says. “It can get kind of crowded and stuff… but if you’re sure, I’ll talk to her. Then we can be- be school buddies. We have a free seat in the art room now that Ally’s gone to college.”

Lucy smiles and throws her arms around Lauren in a hug. “Thank you. I really want to go to school with you, Lo. You’re my best friend.”

“I know. You’re mine too.” Lauren promises her, quickly giving Lucy a kiss on the cheek. “I’m here for you always. And so is Keana, even if you might not realise.”

“Is it okay if-” Lucy sighs and fiddles with her fingers, “can you tell me about happy things, please? Tell me good things. About you and Camila.”

“Oh, okay then,” Lauren hums in thought, trying to think of a good story to tell, “I just- I think she’s so beautiful. She’s radiant, almost. Like… like an angel, which she is, she’s my angel. She came to me to help me be more confident, and I helped her-”

“Well, glad to know you think I’m an angel,” Camila sends her a smirk as she walks into the room, Sofi hot on her heels, “Maybe you’ll get two cookies if you carry on inflating my ego.”

“You brought more than one for me?” Lauren sits up with a smile, squeezing Lucy’s hand comfortingly. “Thanks, Camz.”

“Well, no, I brought one for you and about ten for Lucy,” Camila says, sending the girl in question a small smile. “If it means anything, I never liked Vero.”

“Who’s t-that?” Sofi grabs onto Camila’s hand and starts at Lucy. “Is that L-Lamp’s friend?”

“That’s Lucy. She’s super nice,” Camila promises her sister, passing Lauren the bag full of cookies. Lauren grabs three out of it while her girlfriend is distracted. “She thinks kind of like Lauren. They’re really good friends.”

“Oh, okay,” Sofi seems to relax at that news and walks over to give Lauren a hug as the older Latina tries her hardest to demolish the stolen cookies before Camila notices. “H-hi, Lamp.”

“Hello, Sofi,” Lauren mumbles through a mouthful of cookie, “do you want to sit on my lap?”

“Okay,” Sofi clambers onto Lauren’s lap, and Lauren scowls when Camila uses that as her opportunity to take the cookies back. “Why is your f-friend sad?”

“Her girlfriend broke up with her. They were together for nearly two years.” Lauren explains, trying to keep her voice low because she doesn’t want to upset Lucy even more. “It’s like- like if Camz and I stopped talking. She lost someone she cared about.”

“Oh,” Sofi shuffles on Lauren’s lap to look at Lucy, “d-don’t be sad. It’ll g-get better. I promise.”

Lucy sends her a weak smile. “Thanks. You’re a sweet kid.”

“I’m not a k-kid!” Sofi pouts at her. “I’m e-eight years old. That’s g-grown up.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Sofi, you _wish_ you were old. I’d gladly trade places with you. I miss when my main responsibilities were colouring inside the lines and spelling six letter words for homework.”

Lauren snorts. “You never do your homework.”

“I _do_ , I just forget to put it in my bag a lot of the time.” Camila defends herself, sending Lauren a sheepish smile, before turning to Lucy. “So, you’re a free woman now, Lucy. Want to go pick up some girls at the local bar.”

“You’d never get into a bar.” Lauren mutters before Lucy can reply. “You look like a twelve year old.”

“Rude,” Camila scoffs, “I could just look very young for my age, you don’t know. But anyway, I’m trying to help Lucy here get a rebound.”

“I don’t want that,” Lucy shakes her head, “I want Vero. How do I get her back?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Lauren and Camila both say, the same thought running through their minds. Lauren is the one to continue. “She left you for having Asperger’s. That’s not someone you want in your life. If Camz dumped me for being autistic, I’d cut her out of my life forever.”

Camila blinks at her. “Merciless, but true. You should listen to Lauren, Lucy. It’s not good to let Vero still have control over you even though you two aren’t together.”

“I _love_ her,” Lucy murmurs, resting her head on Lauren’s shoulder with a sigh. “I don’t want to be without her.”

Camila reaches a hand out, but then remembers that Lucy’s only just started to let Lauren hug her, and drops her hand back to her lap. “Look, Lucy… Vero left you because you’re not allistic, and that’s that. You’ll never _be_ allistic. And you need someone who gets that. You need someone who loves you for you. Like how I’d never want to change Lauren at all. You’ll find someone who loves every single thing about you, and that person isn’t Vero.”

“She wasn’t always like that!” Lucy buries her face into Lauren’s neck, and Lauren makes sure to give her a small squeeze. “She used to be so supportive, but now she’s just _not_. She left me, so what’s to say that the next person who comes along will stay supportive? Who says that _you’ll_ stay supportive of Lauren?”

“I say that,” Camila is quick to reply, “I wasn’t supportive. Not at first. I was always so impatient with Lauren at first, but I learned and grew and now I’m fully supportive and she’ll never lose me. Ever.”

“Vero got impatient.” Lauren adds. “And that was wrong of her. She knew what she was signing up for. But that’s okay, because you’ll find someone who makes you feel ten times more than Vero ever did and who’s forever patient with you.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Lucy murmurs, “I think I should just… I think I’d be better off with another person with Asperger’s or autism. But I don’t- I just love _Vero_. Nobody else. I thought she was going to be it for me.”

“You’ll find the person who actually _is_ it. And you’ll know when you do.” Camila says, glancing over at Lauren. “Trust me. You’ll be with them and suddenly you’ll see them so differently and you’ll know that you’re going to be with them for the rest of your life. You can picture yourself waking up to an old and wrinkly version of them in a nursing home or- or starting a family of kittens with them. You can see your future right in front of you in beautiful colour and it’s _amazing_.”

“I’m happy for you two. And I still want to be Lauren’s maid of honour at your wedding,” Lucy mumbles, “but I don’t want to think about love right now. I just want to nap. Is it okay if I sleep over tonight, Lauren?”

“Of course. You can go and have a nap right now if you’d like. Then afterwards we can play Cluedo or watch a movie to make you feel better.” Lauren says. “But it’ll have to be a kid friendly movie, Sofi can’t watch scary things.”

“I think I’ll go sleep.” Lucy stands up and stretches. “Thank you for comforting me.”

“Oh, take your cookies,” Camila holds out the bag, “otherwise Lauren will eat them all. She’s already had three.”

Lucy takes the cookies and sends them a weak smile. “Thanks. I’ll… see you both in a little while. When I wake up.”

“Okay, Luc,” Lauren smiles and puts her arm around Sofi instead. “See you in a bit.”

As Lucy disappears upstairs, Camila turns to Lauren and her little sister with a grin. “So… Sofi, are you interested in a game of hide and seek?”

“I k-know you’re just trying to get r-rid of me so you can kiss L-Lamp,” Sofi replies, and Lauren can’t hold back her laugh. “No. Let’s w-watch Disney movies.”

Lauren smiles even more. “ _The Lion King_ it is!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lauren officially came out as bi!!!! I'm so proud of her and her cute little gf Lucy tbh, Lauren is finally comfortable with herself and that makes me so happy, Laucy is realer than anything don't fight me goodnight


	53. Chapter 53

“Hey, Lolo?” Camila picks up a VHS tape as she digs through the drawer for Lauren’s copy of _The Lion King_. “What’s this?”

Lauren glances at her, but doesn’t move from under her blanket. “I don’t- it’s a home movie, I think. All of our home movies are on VHS, so it’s probably that.”

Camila looks at the tape like she’s won a million dollars. “Does that mean that this tape holds footage of baby you? Because if so… fuck _The Lion King_. We’re watching this.”

Lauren blinks in surprise. “But I don’t want to watch home movies.”

“Too bad,” Camila laughs as Lauren shifts on the couch and Dash jumps off her, smiling when the puppy runs over to her. “Look, Dash agrees with me. We should watch home movies. There’s more in here. I can’t believe you didn’t let me watch these before.”

“But…” Lauren frowns and sits up, stretching a little and pulling her blanket up to her chin. “I don’t want to. I want to watch _The Lion King.”_

“We watch that like, every day,” Camila points out, thanking whatever powerful force she can think of that Lauren’s DVD player has a built in VHS slot. She puts the tape in, picks Dash up, and walks back over to her girlfriend, getting under the blanket with her and sitting Dash on top of them. “We’re watching this. _But_ I’ll give you tummy rubs the whole way through if that’s a good enough compromise.”

After a moment’s silence, Lauren nods. “Alright then. We can watch the VHS.”

As it starts up, Camila tries and fails to hold back her _aw_ when it cuts to Lauren – who looks to be around three or four – cuddling with Nala. “Oh my _god_. You were the _cutest_.”

“I- thank you?” Lauren frowns and bites down on her bottom lip. “I don’t think that- I wasn’t that cute.”

Camila rolls her eyes in response, watching as Mike angles the camera towards Lauren and says, “ _Lauren, say hi! This is going to be a little film you can look back on when you’re older!”_

Little Lauren stares up at the camera for a moment, sending her dad a disinterested look before turning back to the TV, which is naturally playing _The Lion King_.

Camila snorts with laughter. “Wow, Lo. You’re so cooperative.”

“I was- I was _busy_.” Lauren defends herself, biting down on her bottom lip. “I was _trying_ to watch my favourite movie and my dad was annoying me.”

Apparently, Mike isn’t letting little Lauren get away that easily. “ _Lauren, I’m not leaving until you say hello to you in the future. Don’t you want to look back on happy memories when you’re a big girl?”_

Lauren looks back at her dad again and frowns, mumbling something that Camila doesn’t pick up on. Mike doesn’t seem to either, because the camera ends up at eye level with Lauren, showing that her dad has crouched down next to her. “ _What was that? Did you say hello?”_

Little Lauren shifts on the couch and her hands reach out to grab the camera. Mike laughs. “ _No, Lauren, you can’t grab at that. This is very expensive, it’s not for little kids.”_

After a few more attempts to take the camera, Lauren stops and fiddles with Nala’s ears. She stares up at her dad again, before clapping her hands three times and giggling, then turning back to _The Lion King_ again.

 _“Say hi, Lauren,”_ Mike persists, “ _you’re not getting away with being all quiet. We know you can talk now, kiddo. Just say hi.”_

Lauren looks up at her dad with a frown and pats her legs with her palms. After a few moments of silence, Lauren finally speaks. “ _Hakuna matata!”_

Camila grabs the remote and pauses the tape, letting out a small squeal. The words had come out more like ‘kuna tata’ and there’s no way in hell that anyone could think that’s not adorable. _“_ Oh my _god_ , Lauren. You were so cute!”

“I still am cute,” Lauren murmurs, grabbing Camila’s hand and placing it on her stomach. “Tummy rubs, please. And let’s- um, we can keep watching. If you want.”

Camila nods, her fingers skittering over the soft, bare skin on Lauren’s stomach. “Sure. You were the _cutest_ , though. I was so not prepared for that.”

As Camila presses play again, Lauren frowns. “I don’t- I’m cuter now, I think. I can do lots of cute things.”

Camila just laughs in response and kisses the top of Lauren’s head, not wanting to talk over the little snippet of her girlfriend’s childhood that she’s getting.

Mike reaches out from behind the camera and ruffles Lauren’s hair. “ _I guess that’s the best I’m going to get, huh?”_

 _“Hakuna matata,”_ Lauren says again, reaching for the camera, “ _hakuna matata_.”

 _“Lauren, no_ ,” Mike pulls the camera away with a laugh, “ _don’t grab at it, I told you. Now try and say hello, your mom will be so proud if you’ve learnt a new word by the time she gets back from work.”_

“They always used to do that,” Lauren tells her, and Camila jumps in surprise because she hadn’t been expecting her girlfriend to talk. “Tell me they’d be proud if I learnt a new word or something.”

“Well, I bet they’re super proud of all the words you know now. Your vocabulary is probably bigger than mine,” Camila points out. “I’m proud of you too, you know. For how far you’ve come and how confident you are now.”

Lauren blushes. “Thanks, Camz.”

Camila gives her a small squeeze and turns back to the TV, watching as little Lauren tries her best to take the camera. Eventually, Mike seems to give in. _“Alright. I’ll give you the camera for a little while if you’ll say hello. Deal?”_

Little Lauren claps in response and reaches out for the camera again. Mike holds it out of her reach. _“You’ve got to say hello first, kiddo.”_

“ _Hakuna matata_ ,” Lauren says, wiggling her fingers and sitting up.

“ _No, Lauren_ ,” Mike laughs, “ _hello. Say hello.”_

Lauren frowns and holds her arms out. “ _Lo. Papa, h-he-hello.”_

“Oh my fucking god,” Camila kisses the top of Lauren’s head. “Adorable. I wish I’d known you back then. I would’ve made you be my best friend.”

Lauren frowns. “You’re my best friend now. So it’s okay that you didn’t know me then.”

Camila smiles, a little distracted by how little Lauren is now in possession of the camera, and is examining it, lens close to her face so Camila can see right into the bright green eyes she’s fallen for. “I take it you got a lot of incentives to say new words, right?”

Lauren hums in thought. “I guess so. Like- sometimes I’d get- get my favourite meal for dinner. Little things like that.”

Camila kisses her girlfriend’s temple and pauses the tape. “I love you.”

“Would you still-” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and hums to herself, “would you still love me even if I couldn’t talk now?”

“I’d love you no matter what,” Camila promises her, “you know, unless you turned out to be a serial killer or something. Then maybe I’d reconsider.”

Lauren snorts. “I’d dump you too, if you were a serial killer. You’re not a serial killer, right?”

“Nope,” Camila says, smiling when Lauren cuddles up closer to her as she starts rubbing her tummy. “Are you?”

Lauren giggles and shakes her head. “No.”

“Good. Looks like we’re not breaking up, then.” Camila replies, kissing her girlfriend’s cheek. “You can keep planning the wedding.”

Lauren laughs. “I’ve finished that. I finished that a while ago, actually. Did I not tell you?”

“You didn’t,” Camila replies, “you neglected to tell me that vital information. You need to show me the plans, Lolo.”

“I can’t, lots of it is a surprise,” Lauren says, glancing up at her for a moment and meeting her gaze. “Like when I’m going to propose to you. That’s part of the surprise.”

“Well, don’t show me that part then,” Camila rolls her eyes, “show me the things I’m allowed to know.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Maybe later. I am quite comfortable and I do not want to move.”

“Alright then, later,” Camila agrees, unpausing the tape and watching as little Lauren plays with the camera and chants her attempt at _hello_ into it. “You were a little cutie though. Look at you, all confused by the camera.”

Lauren hums into Camila’s neck. “I am going to nap, I think. You can watch home movies all you want. But I will nap.”

“Okay, babe,” Camila runs her fingers through Lauren’s messy hair and smiles. “Sweet dreams.”

“Yes,” Lauren closes her eyes and gets as close to her as she possibly can. “I love you lots.”

“I know you do.” Camila smiles to herself. “I love you lots too. I don’t know what I’d do without you, cutie.”

Lauren hums. “It’s like- like… I’m glad that you say things like that. Because it kind of frightened me when Vero broke up with Lucy for being different. Because it’s- it’s like if you left me for being different. They were together for longer…”

“I’d never leave you, dumbass,” Camila nuzzles against Lauren, “I love you. You’re like, my favourite person in the whole wide world. Not having you in my life – especially romantically – would be like hell.”

“You really mean that?” Lauren asks, opening her eyes for a moment and making eye contact with Camila. “You promise?”

Camila wraps her pinky around Lauren’s and nods. “Pinky swear. You’re the most important person in the world to me. You make me calm. When I’m with you I don’t need to worry about anything.”

“How is all of that?” Lauren murmurs. “Your anxiety, I mean. I haven’t been to your counselling thing with you for a while… I wasn’t sure if… if I should ask.”

“I’m… okay. I guess,” Camila shrugs and shuffles over slightly so she can kiss Lauren properly. “It is what it is. I’ll be fine, though. Like I said, you make me forget about things for a little while. You’re like my little escape.”

“I’m glad I can do things like that for you.” Lauren murmurs. “You’re- you’re my favourite person too, by the way. I love being there for you.”

“You’re such a good girlfriend.” Camila cups Lauren’s face and dots kisses around her cheeks. “You made me into a better person and I appreciate you so much for that.”

Lauren scrunches up her face and lightly pushes Camila away. “Stop kissing me, you’re getting all your gross slobber on my face.”

“Too bad. You’re just going to have to deal with it.” Camila says, not relenting one bit. If anything, she just kisses Lauren more. “You love my kisses. Don’t lie to me.”

“ _Camz_ ,” Lauren giggles and ducks under her blanket completely, pouting when Camila ducks under it too. “You’re so annoying.”

“You love it.” Camila kisses the tip of her nose. “Dork.”

“I’m not-” Lauren cuts herself off with a laugh, “you’re still annoying, even if I do love you. Loser.”

“I see you’re getting the hang of the insults in a nice way thing,” Camila sends Lauren a teasing grin. “It’s cute. You’re cute. Like how- you’ve probably forgotten about this already, but on your autism pride day, when you went to get Dash, you said two seconds rather than two minutes or what you literally meant. I thought it was adorable that you were using figurative language.”

Lauren hums in thought. “I think you’re influencing me. Good thing you’re not a bad influence though, then my mom probably wouldn’t let me hang out with you.”

Camila snorts. “Even if she did, would you listen to her?”

“Probably not.” Lauren replies with a grin. “But only because I love you. And love makes you do crazy things like use stupid figurative language even though I hate it.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “I hate love, because you have me wrapped around your little finger and I’d do literally anything for you. Damn you, Lauren Michelle Jauregui Morgado.”

Lauren pouts. “I love love. Love is wonderful. I never thought I’d get to be in love, so… this is nice. Better than nice, I get to marry you when I’m older and that’s perfect. Lucy’s going to be my maid of honour, we’ve been planning the bachelorette party already, but I’d like to invite you to mine so we figured we’d have a joint one, rather than two separate ones.”

Camila smiles. “Alright, I’m in. It’s nice that she’s been helping.”

“It’s been getting her mind off Vero.” Lauren says. “She’s still really upset about it, I feel so bad for her. But I think… I think I’m going to try and set her up with Keana. When she feels better though, she’s not ready for that just yet.”

“I thought Keana was straight?” Camila frowns. “That’s what you told me when you mentioned you had a crush on her at one point.”

“I thought she was too,” Lauren replies, “but at art class last Wednesday, she came out to me as pansexual. She told me not to tell anyone, but you don’t count, because I tell you everything and I know you won’t tell. So I’m going to try and get her and Lucy together, because even though she shouted at her one time, Keana adores her. I can tell, and if I can notice it… then it’s got to be pretty obvious.”

Camila snorts with laughter. “Lolo, you pick up on more than you think, you know.”

“I do?” Lauren hums in thought. “Okay then. Sometimes I’m not sure if I’m making it up or reading people wrong. But I try.”

“I know you try,” Camila’s expression softens and she pulls Lauren in for a hug. “I can’t imagine how confusing things must be for you sometimes. I really wish I could get inside your head. See things how you see them. Just so I can completely understand how you feel all the time. What you go through every day.”

Lauren blinks up at her. “You do?”

“I do,” Camila nods, brushing her fingers through Lauren’s hair. “I really wish I could fully understand just what you have to deal with.”

“That’s alright though. I don’t think you need to.” Lauren says. “You’re like… you’re just so supportive and understanding anyway that you don’t need to be- be like me and Lucy and fully- fully experience it. At first I thought maybe you wouldn’t ever get to the point you’re at now, but you’re absolutely _perfect_ and I love that. Nerd.”

“No, you’re the nerd,” Camila is quick to correct her, “but like, whatever. Maybe I’m _half_ one, too.”

Lauren snorts. “You’re not cool, Camz. I know sometimes you say you are, but I don’t think you’re cool. Not in the stereotypical way, because you make lame jokes and fall over all the time.”

Camila slaps a hand to her chest and gasps in mock offence. “ _Lauren_. I’m wounded. My own _girlfriend_ doesn’t think I’m cool. That’s so sad.”

“I didn’t-” Lauren blinks in confusion and pushes the blanket off them slightly – Camila cringes at the sudden light. “You’re hurt? Where are you hurt? Let me see.”

“No, Lauren,” Camila laughs and grabs her girlfriend by the wrists, because Lauren’s trying to roll up the sweater Camila is wearing to check and see if she’s hurt or not. “I’m not hurt. I was joking around.”

“But- but you said you were wounded,” Lauren frowns and pulls her hands from Camila’s grip, wriggling away from her and disturbing Dash, who jumps off the couch and runs out of the room. “You lied to me.”

“I didn’t- I was _joking_ ,” Camila clarifies, trying not to laugh when Lauren sticks out her bottom lip in annoyance and scowls. “You’re too cute when you’re being petty.”

“I’m-” Lauren opens her mouth to argue, but realises she’s talking, and talking kind of ruins the effect of the silent treatment she’s trying to give Camila. “Nothing.”

“ _Petty_ ,” Camila repeats, “You’re a stubborn, petty bitch. But I love you, so I guess it’s okay.”

“You’re mean to me.” Lauren mumbles, again forgetting that she’s trying to be silent. “I don’t like you.”

“No,” Camila agrees, “you _love_ me. A very distinct difference.”

“I don’t mean- I _do_ love you, I love you lots,” Lauren tells her, “but you tease me. A lot. And sometimes it- it makes me feel bad. Like when you made fun of me for wearing a hat I liked. Even though you’re- you don’t mean anything bad and you don’t want to upset me, but… sometimes it does.”

Camila blinks in surprise, because she hadn’t realised her casual teasing had upset her girlfriend. She figured Lauren would’ve said something sooner. “Lo, I never meant to upset you. Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“Because I thought maybe-” Lauren swallows the lump in her throat, “I spoke to Dinah about- about how she teases me sometimes too. But she told me to just _suck it up and deal with it_. And I thought maybe you’d say the same thing and it’d cause a fight and-”

“No, Lauren, oh my god,” Camila brushes Lauren’s hair back and kisses her forehead, “if I ever tease you and it actually upsets you, you need to tell me and I’ll stop straight away. You don’t have to deal with anything that makes you upset, and Dinah’s a bitch for saying that to you. I promise I won’t make fun of you, okay? We can go out some time and you can wear your train conductor hat and I won’t say a word about it. Promise.”

“It’s- it’s not a train conductor hat,” Lauren weakly argues, “it’s- it’s a _cap_. And it’s cool, I like it.”

“You make it look good,” Camila smiles and dots kisses around her face, “you’d make a trash bag look good and I mean that. Okay, dork?”

“Okay,” Lauren sends her a shy smile, “thank you for being understanding.”

“It’s my job, Lo,” Camila reminds her. “Don’t be silly and think that you can’t talk to me about things. If anything makes you uncomfortable – and that means things that I do, too – you need to tell me about it. All I want is for my Lolo lion to be as happy as possible.”

Lauren hums. “I’m your Lolo lion.”

“Yup,” Camila plays with her hair. “You are. And you’re the cutest lion in all the pride. You’re the lion queen.”

Lauren blushes and hides her face in Camila’s neck. “If you want… there’s a tape from Christmas. When I was four. If you’d like to watch that one, since it’s December now.”

“Yes,” Camila sits up straight away and sends her a smile, “definitely.”

“It was when- when my parents made me dress as an elf for Christmas Day, we spent it at my grandparents’,” Lauren tells her, pushing the blanket off them and walking over to the drawer filled with tapes and DVDs, apparently not caring that she’s completely naked. “I didn’t like it much, they made me wear tights and I don’t like tights.”

Camila hums in reply, because she hadn’t really been paying much attention. Mostly because her girlfriend is absolutely beautiful and she kind of really wants to kiss her right now. “Uh huh. Tights. Yeah, they suck.”

“I found it!” Lauren ejects the current tape and puts a new one in the player. Then, she turns on her heel and sends Camila a wide smile, walking back over to the couch and trying to grab at her blanket. “I would like to cuddle now.”

Camila’s eyes rake over Lauren’s body and she shakes her head. “No, thanks. I quite like the view.”

Lauren rocks on her heels. “I’m cold and I’d like to get under my blanket.”

“Just…” Camila shakes her head, “a few more minutes.”

 _“Camz_ ,” Lauren whines and pulls at her blanket, “you promised me you wouldn’t grab and pull at my special blue blanket if I let you share it and now you’re trying to steal it and I _don’t like it_. It’s mine.”

“Sorry, baby. I was just joking around.” Camila lifts the blanket up and nods to the spot next to her on the couch. “Come here and cuddle.”

Lauren beams at her and practically dives onto the couch, cuddling up to her and kissing her cheek. “I’m going to get you back for that, though. You messed with my blanket, nobody is allowed to do that, not even you. So I’m going to have to prank you, and you can’t prank me back since it’s a revenge prank.”

Camila looks over her adorable girlfriend and tries her best not to laugh, because Lauren isn’t exactly the most intimidating person in the world and her idea of a prank is stealing Camila’s phone and posting ‘I love Lauren’ on her Twitter. Or something along those lines.

So, Camila just smiles and ruffles Lauren’s hair. “Alright. I await your prank in fear.”

“You’d better,” Lauren mumbles into her neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too, little nerd,” Camila replies, “you’re the best.”

Lauren hums. “You’re the little nerd. Because you’re a lot shorter than me, and skinnier. So you’re smaller, therefore little.”

“Alright then,” Camila says, “I’m not going to argue. Mostly because four year old you is on the TV dressed as an _elf_ and I think I’m about to die from cuteness overload.”

Lauren blushes and Camila watches as she takes in little Lauren on the screen. The small girl is trying her hardest to pull off the tights on her legs, not quite figuring out how to do it without taking her shoes off.

 _“Lauren, baby, calm down_ ,” Clara kneels down next to her and starts holding Lauren’s hands. If anything, that just makes her more distressed. “ _Lauren, we just want to have a nice meal with your grandparents. It’s nothing to make a fuss about and your abuela and I bought you this costume to be festive!”_

Lauren shakes her head and pulls her hands out of Clara’s grip, flapping them in front of her. Her eyes are closed and she’s kicking her legs and Camila just wants to jump into the tape, pick her up and make everything better.

 _“Let her take the tights off, that’s what’s bothering her,”_ An elderly woman steps into the view of the camera and slowly helps Lauren take her tights off, before picking her up and kissing the top of her head. “ _There. See, she’s calmed down now.”_

Clara sighs. _“She’s just- she needs to get used to wearing certain things, I’m sick of her running around in her underwear the second she gets home.”_

Camila sends Lauren a pointed look. “Well, not much has changed then.”

Lauren blushes. “Shut up.”

 _“She’s a kid,”_ the woman – who Camila assumes is Lauren’s abuela – defends, _“and I’ve told you a million times, she has autism. Take her to the doctor and they’ll agree with me.”_

“Your abuela is smart,” Camila points out, “I like her. I wish I could’ve met her.”

“I wish you could’ve met her too,” Lauren says, “She would’ve loved you.”

 _“I’m not taking her to the doctor.”_ Clara replies, gesturing for Lauren’s abuela to give her child to her. “ _She’s perfectly healthy and normal and she’s going to grow out of this.”_

 _“Clara,”_ Lauren’s abuela sends her a look, and suddenly the camera moves – Camila figures someone off screen has picked it up. Probably Mike. “ _Maybe when she was a lot younger I could understand where you were coming from. But she’s four years old and she can say what? Fifty words at the most? You want what’s best for her, but the best thing is taking her to the doctor, getting a formal diagnosis and doing whatever you can to make her comfortable and make things easier for her.”_

“It took her a few more months,” Lauren says, and Camila’s a little startled by her girlfriend’s voice, “for my mom to take me to the doctor. Obviously she did, but it took her a while to accept that maybe I’m not- not neurotypical.”

Camila kisses the top of Lauren’s head, “I think mostly it’s just worry. Deep down, she was just terrified that people would hurt you for being you.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Yeah. I guess. I’m glad she’s better now.”

 _“Alright, get the kid to do something cute so we can turn the camera off_ ,” the voice behind the camera is loud and Lauren seems to tense up completely.

Camila rubs circles on her back. “Who’s behind the camera? It’s not your dad or abuelito, since it’s a female voice.”

“Um…” Lauren shifts uncomfortably, “my aunt. The one that… that hurt me.”

“Oh, baby,” Camila dots kisses around her girlfriend’s face, “we can turn it off and- and stomp on the tape. Because I hate your aunt.”

“This was before…” Lauren trails off and bites down on her lip. “Before she hurt me. But she was always mean to me and people- she’d pass it off as a joke because she thought I didn’t understand. But she knew that I didn’t understand sarcasm, so she could pass it off as sarcasm but really…”

“That’s awful,” Camila scowls at the TV, but it kind of defeats the purpose, because Lauren’s the one on there. “I’m glad she’s dead.”

“Me too,” Lauren replies, glancing up at her with a smile, “she had a freak heart attack. I hope it hurt.”

Camila snorts. “Damn, Lauren. What happened to ‘I don’t like people being hurt, I don’t like violence’? Where’d that girl go?”

“She’s still here,” Lauren replies, “I just don’t like people who are ableist. Those people, I don’t care about."

Camila just smiles in response and turns back to the TV, cringing when she hears the same voice again. “ _Alright, kid, say something.”_

Little Lauren stares up at her blankly, before, wandering back over to her abuela and sitting down on the couch next to her. The Lauren next to her laughs when she starts kicking her legs and smiling up at her abuela. “I loved her so much. She was the only person who I let cuddle me back then. Aside from my mom when we watched _The Lion King_.”

Almost as if on cue, little Lauren says, “ _Hakuna matata!”_

 _“You want to watch your movie?”_ Lauren’s abuela pats her lap, “ _Come here and cuddle me and your mommy will put it on.”_

Little Lauren lets out an excited squeal and shuffles to sit on her abuela’s lap, snuggling her face into her collarbone. “ _Hakuna matata, ‘buela.”_

Camila can see the shock written on both Lauren’s mother and abuela’s faces, and she figures that’s the first time Lauren’s ever tried saying the word _abuela_.

 _“Did she just- was that almost a sentence?”_ Clara reaches out and picks Lauren off her grandmother’s lap, to the tiny girl’s protests. _“Lauren, repeat that, sweetheart.”_

Lauren squirms in her mother’s grip, “ _Want ‘buela.”_

Camila isn’t sure if the shock is what makes Clara let go or Lauren’s request, but little Lauren ends up giggling in her abuela’s lap again. The elderly woman smiles down at her. “ _I’m so proud of you. Because I’m so proud, you get to watch your movie and you get more of my special Christmas cookies. Just for being so good.”_

Lauren beams and reaches up, grabbing at her grandmother’s nose. “ _’buela.”_

“ _That’s me,”_ Her abuela smiles and strokes a hand through her hair. _“You’ve been such a good girl today, Lauren. Your mommy really should take you to the doctor though, shouldn’t she? Say yes – I know you can.”_

Lauren stares up at her for a moment and snuggles her face into her grandmother’s neck. “ _’es.”_

“ _See, Clara,”_ Her abuela laughs, “ _even Lauren wants to be taken to the doctor. It’s really important that you take her so you’re able to look after her properly. She’s autistic and I’m telling you that now. She shows almost every single sign of it.”_

Clara sighs. _“We’ll see_.”

With that, the tape cuts out, and Camila turns to Lauren with a smile. “You are the cutest baby I’ve ever seen.”

Lauren blushes. “I wasn’t even a baby. I was four there.”

“I know, but you were _adorable_ ,” Camila says, laughing as Lauren gets even redder. “You were the cutest thing in the whole world. You’re still so cute and cuddly.”

“But I’m- now I’m older, I’m sexy too, right?” Lauren looks up at her with wide eyes. “I don’t want you to think- think that I’m just cute, because that’s something you’d call… a puppy. I don’t want you to think I’m a puppy.”

“You’re sexy too,” Camila confirms, “the sexiest girl on earth. Promise.”

Lauren looks satisfied. “Okay then. That’s better. I am cute and I am sexy.”

“Definitely,” Camila agrees, “anyway, we have more important things to do. Like watch more home movies.”

Lauren lets out a groan. “Really? You’ve already watched two, I really want to watch _The Lion King_.”

“I’m sleeping over!” Camila points out, “We can watch it in bed later. After we get our midnight snacks. And we’ve watched it like twenty _billion_ times. I’m kind of getting sick of it.”

“Oh,” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip. “We don’t have to watch it, you know. I could… I can just watch it with my mom on Sunday.”

Camila feels her heart break, because she can’t resist pouty Lauren. “No, it’s okay. We can watch it, but later. Alright?”

“Okay,” Lauren looks up at her with a shy smile. “Later. Anyway, would you like some hot chocolate? I am going to make myself one, I’ll put little marshmallows and whipped cream on too if that- if you want one.”

“Alright, babe,” Camila nods, “I can go for a hot chocolate.”

Lauren smiles and stands up, and as she heads towards the door to the kitchen, Camila raises an eyebrow. “Aren’t you going to put some clothes on?”

“Nobody else is here but us,” Lauren points out, “my parents aren’t back until six, Chris is staying at a friend’s house tonight and Taylor’s curfew isn’t until ten, and she calls when she’s on her way back. I’m not putting clothes on. You don’t have to put anything on either. Nobody but me will see.”

Hesitantly, Camila stands up and follows Lauren into the kitchen. She tries to relax a little bit, but the last thing she wants is for Mike and Clara to burst in to them both completely naked. So, to calm herself down, she changes subjects. “Are you definitely putting marshmallows in it?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, getting two mugs out of the cupboard. “Would you like pink marshmallows, white marshmallows or both? Personally, I only like the white ones, and I either have three large ones or a handful of little ones.”

“I’ll go with the pink ones, then,” Camila says, “can’t be rejecting just the one colour, because then you’ll end up with a bag full of pink marshmallows that aren’t going to be used.”

Lauren’s jaw drops and she squeals excitedly. “That’s _perfect_ for when we’re living together! You like the pink ones and I like the white ones, it works out perfectly!”

Camila can’t help but wrap her arms around her girlfriend’s waist and attack her with kisses. “You are so cute, getting excited over tiny things like that.”

“ _Camz,”_ Lauren pushes her off with a laugh, “I’m trying to make hot chocolate here.”

Camila gives her another quick kiss. “You can still kiss me while you do it.”

Lauren is quiet for a moment as she mixes the hot chocolates, before changing the subject all together. “I am going to get another two tattoos, soon. I would also like to get a fourth one, and I’d like- I’d like you to pick it out.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “You want me to pick something to be on your body forever.”

Lauren hums. “Yes.”

“Wow,” Camila breathes out, “no pressure there.”

“My second tattoo will be the number twenty seven, but in roman numerals. I would like it on my arm.” Lauren rambles on as she grabs a bag of marshmallows out of the cupboard. “I would like my third tattoo on my wrist, I want it to be my abuela’s name. Then my fourth tattoo will be whatever you choose, and I will get it on my ankle. I’d like it to be black and white though, since all of my other tattoos will be, like my dragonfly.”

“Oh,” Camila bites down on her bottom lip, “alright then. Are you sure you want me to pick something for you?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “if I don’t like it, I’ll tell you, and you can pick something else.”

“Well, uh, I kind of have an idea based off this… thing.” Camila starts, not sure how to word it. “But it’d involve me getting a tattoo too, and I think my parents would probably murder me if I did that.”

Lauren frowns. “My parents don’t like tattoos or piercings, but I don’t let them tell me what to do when it comes to my body. You’re eighteen in March anyway, so you can get a tattoo with me. After I get my next two.”

“Maybe you are a bad influence after all,” Camila laughs and squeezes Lauren’s hand. “I’ll tell you my idea, but you might not like it.”

Lauren passes Camila a mug and nods. “Okay. Tell me, please.”

“Well, there’s this story about the sun and the moon,” Camila starts, watching her girlfriend’s face for any negative reaction. “It’s like, the sun and the moon are in love, and every night, the sun dies so her moon can breathe. You’re my moon, Lauren. The moon is the one important light, the thing that helps me see in the dark. You help me see through all of the negative things in life. You’re my moon, and I’m your sun. I’d give anything for you. I’d die every night if it’d let you breathe.”

Lauren stares at her for a moment, her expression blank. “That’s beautiful.”

Camila sends her a nervous smile. “Do you like the idea? You’d get a moon and I’d get a sun.”

After a short pause, Lauren nods. “Yes. A moon on my inner ankle will be my fourth tattoo. Thank you.”

“My parents _will_ kill me for this, though,” Camila nudges her, “I hope you appreciate the sacrifice I’m making here.”

Lauren hums. “Well, they never have to see it. It’ll be on your foot, just wear socks all the time. Your parents don’t have to see your feet.”

Camila raises an eyebrow. “First you convince me to get a tattoo, and _now_ you’re convincing me to successfully evade and lie to my parents? Who even _are_ you?”

Lauren blinks in confusion as she sets her drink down on the coffee table and bundles herself up in her blanket again. “You know who I am, I’m Lauren, your girlfriend.”

“Yes, my sweet, innocent, adorable girlfriend,” Camila replies, “who is trying to get me to rebel against my parents and then lie to them about it.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “I’m hardly _innocent_. I- I’ve had sex and smoked weed and been drunk, although that last thing was only one time because I don’t like the feel of hangovers. And I have a tattoo and piercings! I’m not innocent.”

“Fine, you’re not innocent,” Camila replies, sitting down on the couch and snuggling up next to her girlfriend when Lauren lets her under the blanket. “But you’re still telling me to lie to my parents.”

“I’m sorry,” Lauren murmurs, “It’s not really _lying_. More just not telling.”

Camila laughs. “Technicalities aside, I’m still going to talk to my parents. I’m not exactly a rebel like you are, apparently.”

Lauren hums. “Yes. I’m a rebel. Are you free next Friday night? The night we finish school for winter break?”

Camila is hardly fazed by the sudden change in topic. “I’m free as far as I know. Why?”

Lauren smiles to herself. “I’ll pick you up at six.”

“Pick me up at six for what?” Camila frowns, but Lauren doesn’t respond. “ _Lolo_. What will you pick me up for?”

“It’s a surprise,” Lauren giggles to herself, a little deviously, before kissing Camila’s cheek. “Don’t worry, a good surprise.”

“Okay then,” Camila laughs, “I guess I’ll have to trust you.”

“Yes,” Lauren replies, squeezing her hand. “I guess you will. Anyway, now that we have our hot chocolates, would you like to help me put up the Christmas decorations? Normally my parents and I do it – my siblings never usually help – but I’d like us to do it. And it’d get the job done for them.”

Camila hums in thought. “Alright, but I’m putting a shirt and some underwear on.”

“Oh, I have Christmas sweaters we can wear!” Lauren throws the blanket off them and sits up. “I will go and get them. Wait here.”

“Okay,” Camila’s answer barely registers in Lauren’s head, because the older girl has already jumped off the couch and darted out of the room. Camila keeps the blanket over her – even though she knows any members of Lauren’s family won’t be back until six at the earliest, she doesn’t particularly want a surprise early visit from anyone – and sips on her drink until she hears Lauren’s footsteps again.

Lauren walks back into the room, already wearing a white Simba Christmas sweater and a pair of _Lion King_ underwear. She throws Camila a red sweater with reindeer on and sends her a small smile. “You get that one. I wanted my Simba one. I think I would’ve gotten a Nala sweater, but they didn’t have any.”

Camila tugs her sweater on, smiling when Lauren’s comforting scent surrounds her like a big warm hug, and then reaches down into the neatly folded pile of discarded clothes for her underwear, pulling them on too. Then, she pushes the blanket away and stretches.

“Okay, where do you keep your Christmas decorations?” Camila looks at Lauren expectantly, watching as the older Latina wanders out of the room again without a word. “Lauren?”

At the sound of her name, Lauren’s head pops around the door frame. “Are you coming or not?”

Camila shakes her head and laughs before following Lauren out of the room. “So, I’m going to try again – where do you keep your Christmas decorations?”

“In the attic,” Lauren says, leading her up the stairs. “Don’t worry, there’s a ladder attached to the attic door so we can get up easily.”

“Do you want to pass the stuff down to me?” Camila asks as Lauren opens up the attic door and starts climbing the ladder. “I promise I won’t trip or drop them.”

“It’s only two boxes,” Lauren replies, passing the first one down with ease. “And also the tree, but I’ll grab that last.”

“Okay,” Camila sets the first box down as Lauren passes her the second, and then she pushes that behind her to make room for the tree box when her girlfriend practically climbs into the attic to grab it. “Is it far back or something?”

“Yes,” Lauren murmurs, finally reappearing and passing her the last box. “There. All done. Now we just need to put everything up.”

“Also take the boxes downstairs,” Camila adds. “I’m assuming we’re not putting the tree up here.”

“Oh, no, we’re putting that up in the lounge, there’s a special place where it always goes.” Lauren explains, grabbing the box and heading towards the stairs. “Only one of those boxes has tree decorations in. The- the smaller one. You carry that.”

“Okay,” Camila grabs the box and tries not to trip over her own feet as they head down the stairs, and when they reach the living room again, she’s kind of relieved to put the box down. “Open up the tree then. We’ll put it up.”

Lauren opens the box and gets out the three sticks that act as the tree’s support and connects them together, putting them on the stand. Then, she grabs a few individual branches and glances at the bottom of them. “They have coloured tags on them, see? Each one is a different size. Put them in piles and then we start off with the purple ones, they go at the bottom.”

It doesn’t take them long to sort each colour out – Lauren scowling every time she picks one with an orange tag out of the box – and eventually they’re on to setting the tree up. Lauren has to put the top on it – Camila’s a little too short for it – but her girlfriend lifts her up and lets her put the angel on the top of the tree.

Once they’ve put the tree up, Camila starts working on untangling the tree lights, and when she hears a giggle behind her, turns to see Lauren wrapped up in tinsel. “What are you doing?”

“I like this,” Lauren replies, draping more tinsel across her shoulders. “It’s shiny.”

Camila snorts. “Put it on the tree, dork.”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head, “it’s my festive outfit.”

“You’re festive enough, Lolo,” Camila laughs and grabs the tinsel. “This is for Christmas trees. Not for cute girls.”

Lauren pouts. “But I like it.”

Camila takes the tinsel from around her girlfriend’s neck and laughs. “I prefer my girlfriends tinsel-free.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “You love me no matter what.”

“True,” Camila agrees, “ _but_ I’d prefer it if you put that tinsel on the tree. Because you look like Santa just threw up on you.”

Lauren snorts. “Santa isn’t real, Camz.”

“Don’t say that around Sofi,” Camila pokes her in the arm, “I love that she still believes in him. I get to go to visit him at the mall and it’s so fun, Santa’s grotto is like, the best part of the mall around Christmas.”

Lauren frowns. “I never did that. Mostly because it was too crowded and I would get upset. My dad would dress up as Santa for me when I was little.”

“That’s sweet,” Camila says, finally managing to wrestle the tinsel from Lauren and throwing it haphazardly on the tree. “Now help me untangle these lights. They’re a mess.”

Lauren stares at her for a moment, before she smiles, and makes no move to help. “This is like… very domestic. Like we’re already married and in our own house and we’re putting up decorations. I like it lots. It’s like a little preview of the future.”

Camila pauses and realises that yeah, it is kind of like that. And she likes it a lot. “Well… now I know I have a lot to look forward to with you.”

Lauren kisses her cheek. “Yes. We will be good and happy.”

“Yeah,” Camila replies as Lauren starts untangling the lights with ease, “good and happy.”


	54. Chapter 54

Lauren rocks on her heels as she waits for the door to open, because she’s kind of nervous about this date. She isn’t sure how Camila will feel about it, but she hopes it’ll go alright; she’s been looking forward to it.

When the door swings open and her girlfriend is stood in front of her in the navy blue sweater Lauren had let her borrow a little while ago, she smiles. “Hi. Are you ready to go?”

“Yep,” Camila nods, and Lauren notes that she already has her shoes on. “I just need to grab my coat and we can head out. Where exactly is it that we’re going, by the way?”

“Um… you can’t know yet,” Lauren decides to wait until they actually get to their destination before telling Camila about it. “I’m- I’m keeping it a secret. It can be a surprise.”

“Alright, well…” Camila pulls on her coat and follows Lauren out of the door, shouting a quick goodbye to her family, “Is it something festive? We _are_ getting quite close to Christmas, after all.”

“Um, yes, it’s festive,” Lauren nods and opens the passenger side door for her girlfriend. “Oh, wait, I forgot to give you these…”

Lauren opens the backseat of the car and holds out a bouquet of roses that she’d bought. She knows it’s not Valentine’s Day or an important anniversary, but it’s nice to get flowers every once in a while.

 _“Lauren_ ,” Camila takes them with a smile, “these are beautiful. Thank you. What are they for?”

Lauren frowns; she thought she’d made it quite clear. “They’re for you.”

“No, baby,” Camila laughs and Lauren doesn’t understand what’s so funny, “I meant what’s the occasion.”

“Oh,” Lauren’s eyes widen in realisation. “Well, there isn’t an occasion. Not really. Just taking you out on a date and I wanted to buy you flowers.”

“You’re the sweetest,” Camila leans over and kisses her. “Anyway. Tell me where we’re going.”

“ _No!”_ Lauren exclaims, shaking her head quickly. “No. It’s a _surprise_ , you’re not finding out until we get there.”

“Okay, I get it,” Camila holds her hands up in defence, “I won’t ask again. But it’s been a while since you’ve taken me out. It’s… really nice.”

“Well, I love going on dates with you.” Lauren says with a smile. “And I love Christmas, so I figured… we should do something festive. And- and it kind of sucks to live in Miami in winter, because it’s never really that cold and snow would _never_ happen unless some kind of freak weather incident happened… so it’s not like we can go out and have snowball fights and stuff. I really wish we could.”

“When we’re older, we’ll move somewhere snowy,” Camila promises, “and we can have all the snowball fights in the world.”

“I really like living in Miami,” Lauren says, “other than the lack of snow. One year my family and I went skiing in Canada, it was super cold and nobody looked at me funny for wearing a sweater.”

“I’ll admit, when you wear sweaters in one hundred degree heat, I kind of think you’re a little crazy,” Camila laughs, “I can barely handle a t-shirt in that kind of weather. I don’t get how you manage sweaters all year round.”

Lauren shrugs. “I like sweaters, they’re comfy, and I stay inside lots during summer. Where I have air conditioning.”

Camila snorts. “Yeah, but when you’re inside, you stay under your blanket. Mostly.”

“Only when I’m sad,” Lauren says, “or when I want to cuddle with you.”

“Well, whatever, it’s still crazy,” Camila retorts, “it’s like you want to get heatstroke or something.”

“No, I just like sweaters,” Lauren sends her an innocent smile, “I do not like t-shirts much. I like crop tops sometimes, but I only really wear them if I want you to think I’m sexy.”

“I always think you’re sexy,” Camila assures her, “you’re like, the hottest girl I’ve ever seen. And the cutest. You’re everything.”

Lauren feels her cheeks heat up. “Well- um, thank you. I know I am not- um, not very seductive. But I’m trying.”

Camila raises an eyebrow. “Who told you you’re not seductive?”

“Well, I asked- you know how I was looking things up online about- about what to do when… when you have sex?” Lauren asks, waiting for Camila’s nod. “I went to Normani for some advice after you told me not to listen to the internet, and she told me to- to demonstrate for her. To do what I’d do when I want to have sex with you. And I did, and she told me- she said that I’m not very seductive and it didn’t _turn her on_.”

Camila scoffs. “Clearly Normani and I are turned on in different ways. I find you very seductive, Lauren. I don’t care if it’s not in the conventional way. I like your way better.”

“You do?” Lauren says with a frown, wanting to look over and make sure that her girlfriend isn’t doing something to indicate she might be being sarcastic. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Camila smiles, “I think your way is the best. The way you do everything is better.”

Lauren beams. “Oh. That’s good, then. I will not listen to Mani from now on, then.”

“Good,” Camila replies. “Go with your instincts, Lo. That’s all I want.”

Lauren hums to herself. “I am trying. I just want to be good for you.”

“And you are,” Camila promises, and Lauren’s stomach flips, “you’re my favourite person on the planet, dork. You could be awful in bed and I’d still be with you. Sex isn’t everything, you know.”

“I know, love is the main component of a romantic relationship,” Lauren replies, “and we have a lot of love. So much. I am very happy with you, that’s what I told Lucy when she tried flirting with me.”

 _“What?”_ Camila’s tone is a little hard to decipher, and Lauren isn’t sure how to respond. “Lucy _flirted_ with you?”

“Kind of,” Lauren says, “she- she was super sad about Vero and started talking about how she wishes she’d known when I liked her, and how I seem like a really good girlfriend to you. It wasn’t really flirting, more like thinking about what could have happened in a different universe or something. I love that kind of thing, I think alternate universes are real. There’s probably an infinity of different universes where we love each other lots. Like- like maybe there’s one where _you’re_ autistic and I’m not. Maybe there’s-”

“Lauren,” Camila interrupts her, “you wouldn’t leave me for Lucy, would you?”

Lauren blinks in confusion. “Of course not. Don’t be stupid, Camz, that makes no sense. Lucy’s my best friend, but you’re my true love. Duh.”

“Okay, I just had to make sure,” Camila sends her a small smile, “and don’t call me stupid.”

“Well, you were being quite stupid,” Lauren says, “I’d never break up with you, why would I? There’s no logic, I love you and you make me really happy. Obviously I’m going to stay with you. We have fun together and you’re my first. And I’ve already planned the wedding.”

Camila lets out a little laugh. “Of course. Yeah. Can’t forget about that.”

“Exactly,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “did I imply something and make you think I was planning on breaking up with you? Because you know I suck at that, if I ever imply something, it’s probably unintentional.”

“Nothing, I was just,” Camila cuts herself off with a sigh, “Lucy’s been around for longer than I have, and you can relate to her. She can one hundred percent understand what it’s like for you, day in, day out. I can never do that.”

“Oh,” Lauren hums in thought, “you do have a point, yes, but I don’t care if you’re allistic. I like you anyways.”

Camila laughs again. “Good. That’s good to know.”

“Besides, you’re very supportive,” Lauren continues on as she stops at a red light. “You look after me and I look after you. Even if you’re kind of annoying sometimes because you tease me. But I’m going to prank you for being annoying, so… yes.”

Camila raises her eyebrows. “This date better not be a prank.”

“Oh, no, I would never do that,” Lauren frowns, because that’s how Luis hurt her, by pretending to take her on a date, and she would never do that to someone. “This is a fun date. I will tell you where we are going if you’re worried.”

“No, you can keep your little secret,” Camila smiles, “I trust you, dork.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods, “well, we are almost there. Just… around this corner. So I think I’ll tell you now.”

Camila hums in thought. “Okay then. What’s the plan?”

“We are going ice skating,” Lauren reveals as she pulls into a parking space. “Ta da.”

Camila blinks at her. “You’re taking me ice skating? _Me_? Karla Camila Cabello, who can barely walk on a normal surface without tripping?”

At Camila’s words, Lauren deflates. “You hate it.”

“No, I don’t,” Camila is quick to reply, “I’m just surprised that you have so much faith in me. Because I’m going to fall over.”

“You won’t,” Lauren says, and Camila looks like she’s about to argue, “I’ll hold your hand. And I’m- I’m really strong, so… I’ll look after you. After this we’re going to drive around and look at Christmas lights, and then- um… I guess go back to your house. I was planning on asking you if I could sleep over, since it’s a Friday…”

“Sure, baby,” Camila leans over and kisses her, “I’d love it if you slept over. We can watch Christmas movies and make out.”

“Yes, I would- I would like that,” Lauren pushes open the car door and runs around to Camila’s side to open the door for her. When her girlfriend gets out, she takes her hand and rocks on her heels. “Um… let’s go inside, then.”

Camila laughs and boosts herself up on her tiptoes to kiss Lauren’s cheek. “Baby. Relax. You’re all tense.”

“I’m sorry,” Lauren apologises on reflex, “I don’t mean to be tense. I’m just nervous because I’m worried you don’t like our date.”

“I love it, Lolo,” Camila assures her, tugging her towards the skating rink’s doors. “Anything is fun when I’m with you, and I trust you to catch me when I inevitably fall on my ass.”

Lauren hums and pulls twenty dollars out of her pocket, walking to the lady sat in the ticket booth. “Hello. Um… two please. For ice skating.”

Lauren registers Camila’s hand rubbing comforting circles on her back as the lady takes their money and directs them to where they can pick up their skates. Camila is the first to be ready, because Lauren puts one skate on her foot and pouts.

“I don’t like this,” Lauren wiggles her foot inside the skate, “It’s uncomfortable.”

“I know, baby,” Camila kisses her cheek and squeezes her hand. “Maybe get a size up so you have more room?”

“I already did that. But it’s still uncomfortable.” After a moment’s pause, Lauren sighs. “I’ll deal with it. It’s fine.”

As Lauren pulls the other skate on, she can hear Camila rambling on about how she doesn’t have to do anything that’ll make her uncomfortable, but she’s not really paying much attention, because she’s already dragging Camila towards the ice.

Once Lauren is on the ice, she holds her hand out for Camila to take. “Come on, Camz. I’ll look after you.”

That seems to be enough to persuade Camila, because the younger Latina tentatively steps onto the ice and lurches forward, nearly falling onto Lauren. Luckily, the older girl catches her. “I told you I’d fall.”

Lauren laughs. “Yeah, and I’m protecting you. Come on, I’m really good at this, I come here every year with my family.”

Camila keeps a tight grip on Lauren as the older Latina starts to move forwards, and she shakes her head. “I’m going to die here.”

“You’re not,” Lauren shakes her head and squeezes Camila’s hand. “I won’t go really fast, let’s just do a lap.”

“Wait!” Camila stops her before she can start, and lets go of her hand, shuffling around to stand behind her. Lauren tenses when a pair of arms wrap around her waist and squeeze her tightly. “Okay. Now you can go.”

“Um… Camz?” Lauren frowns and cranes her neck to look behind her at her girlfriend. “What are you doing?”

“Well, I figured I would use you as my own personal ice skater,” Camila explains. “You can skate and I’ll just… hang on for dear life.”

“Oh,” Lauren bites down on her lip. “Okay then. Hold on tight.”

Lauren starts skating, finding it a little harder than usual with Camila clinging onto her, and it’s incredibly challenging for her not to smile when Camila lets out a little squeal. “You said you wouldn’t go fast!”

“I’m not,” Lauren rests her hand on top of Camila’s and rubs her girlfriend’s knuckles comfortingly. “Maybe I can teach you how to skate when you stop holding onto me like you are.”

“Yeah, highly unlikely, babe,” Camila says, “I’d fall and end up injuring both myself and you.”

Lauren laughs and Camila rests her chin on her shoulder. “You’d be fine. Yes, you’re clumsy, but I’m strong and- and a good teacher. And I’d protect you. Like I promised.”

Camila squeezes Lauren around the waist. “I trust you. Maybe I’ll just hold your hand… after this lap.”

Lauren smiles, because she doesn’t think that’s true. “Okay. After this lap.”

When they finish the lap, Camila surprises Lauren completely and slowly gets go of her, before grabbing onto her hand. "Alright. Baby steps. Skate me around."

Lauren explains the proper way to skate, and Camila looks at her like she's crazy when Lauren suggests that going fast is easier. She doesn't move until Camila has promised her that _yes_ , she'll actually try this time instead of clinging onto Lauren like some kind of ice skating parasite.

They get about halfway through the lap when Camila slips, accidentally knocking her own leg out from under herself, and landing on her ass. Lauren - who'd tried her hardest to stop her from falling - can't help but laugh loudly.

Camila glares up at her. "Next time I go down, I'm taking you with me."

Lauren just smiles back at her. "Sure. Come on, get up. Clearly you need more practice."

At Camila's loud, overly exaggerated groan, Lauren smiles more. She pulls her girlfriend up off the ice and helps brush her down, biting down on her bottom lip before letting out the joke that's on her mind.

"At least you didn't hurt much," Lauren says, "your ass cushioned your fall."

"Lauren Michelle Jauregui Morgado, you are so _dead_." Camila sends her a glare. "I mean it. You don't want to know what I'm going to do to you."

Lauren just giggles. "You'll have to catch me first."

With that, she skates off in the other direction, watching as Camila clings onto the side of the rink and shouts, "No, wait, Lauren, save me!"

-

“That was… surprisingly fun,” Camila says as she flops down in the passenger seat of the car, “and I only fell once! That’s like… some kind of record for me.”

Lauren laughs. “I’m proud of you. Anyway, now it’s time for Christmas lights. It’s another Christmas thing I like to do… I always drive around and look at the lights and put some music on. I did it last year, but I didn’t invite you because… I didn’t think you’d be interested. But I realised I wanted to look at the lights with you.”

“I _love_ Christmas lights!” Camila stares at her like she’s grown a second head. “Why the _hell_ wouldn’t I be interested? You should’ve invited me last year! We hardly did anything festive with each other aside from share a Christmas cookie at school and exchange presents.”

“I’ll make up for that this year, then,” Lauren replies, putting the key in the ignition. “We can- can do lots of festive things. You can come over on Christmas Eve and join in on the Jauregui traditions!”

“I’m in,” Camila instantly replies, “as long as your family are cool with it. And I can give you your present, too.”

“Yes, you can.” Lauren smiles to herself, “I’ve already got yours. I told you that already though. And you’re getting me some mulled wine.”

 _“Yes_ , but you’re getting something else too,” Camila points out, “well, multiple something else. You’re getting a few things.”

“Like what?” Lauren asks. “Are you still getting me mulled wine, though? I really like that. Also- also I’d like tummy rubs.”

“I know that, but you’re getting more _material_ items, okay?” Camila says, keeping an eye out for some Christmas lights. “I’m making you like, a little gift basket full of things you like. And coupons for free tummy rubs.”

“Oh, alright then,” Lauren nods, “I think I will like this present. I got you something- um, something romantic. At least, my mom told me it was very romantic when I told her. Also- um, there are two things, one of them is something to go with your birthday present from last year.”

“The guitar?” Camila asks. “Some strings, maybe?”

“No, it’s- um, this thing,” Lauren frowns to herself, “you said you needed a _capo_ , so I went to a music store – not the same one I got the guitar from, because the people there weren’t very helpful – and I found a _capo_. Your other present is staying secret though.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less, Lolo,” Camila laughs, “you like surprises.”

“I do, I like surprising others, but I don’t like surprises for myself.” Lauren rambles on, her eyes widening when she spots a house that’s absolutely _covered_ in Christmas lights. She can’t look at it for too long – the brightness is giving her a headache – but she expresses her enthusiasm to Camila. “That house is so pretty. My parents would never let us put that many lights up.”

Camila glances over at it. “Probably because the electricity bill would be off the charts.”

Lauren shrugs, “Well, still, it’s nice to be festive. But I can’t look at lights like that for too long, my eyes are really sensitive to the light. Partly because I’m autistic, but mostly because they’re green. Green and blue eyes are more sensitive to light.”

“Huh,” Camila hums in reply, “didn’t know that.”

“Oh, well, yes… it’s true.” Lauren replies. “It’s because there’s less melanin than in brown eyes. I think it’s worse for me though, because I would be sensitive to light anyway, since I have autism and that causes sensory differences…”

Camila frowns at her. “Can you tell me about that? Like, what you experience differently and stuff.”

“Um… I don’t- I don’t know what I experience differently,” Lauren murmurs, “like… I don’t know how allistic people experience things so I can’t- I can’t know what’s different.”

“Oh, uh, what about touch?” Camila prompts. “How does it feel when someone touches you?”

“It depends,” Lauren replies, not sure what Camila is really asking, “like, if someone just grabs me and I’m not prepared for it, it burns. It hurts so much when people grab, especially after or during sensory overload. That’s why I need a warning, and I don’t- I don’t mind touch a lot of the time with specific people. People I trust. Some places are extra sensitive though, like my tummy and my underarms and my- my back.”

Camila frowns again, and Lauren isn’t sure if she’s confused or angry or something else entirely. “If your tummy is extra sensitive, why do you like tummy rubs so much?”

“I only- only you’re allowed to do that,” Lauren mumbles, “because I trust you so much, and it- you’re so gentle with me and… it’s nice. I like it.”

“Oh,” Camila smiles to herself and Lauren breathes a sigh of relief, distracting herself with the Christmas lights nearby. “That’s- that’s good, then. I wouldn’t ever want to think I’m hurting you.”

“No, not unless you grabbed me without telling me.” Lauren replies. “I don’t like it when people grab. That’s why kids frighten me, because they’re loud and they grab.”

After a moment’s pause, Camila sighs. “I love you so much.”

Lauren blinks in confusion. “I love you too, but- but why did you say it so suddenly?”

“Because I felt like reminding you.” Camila shrugs and sends her a small smile. “You just… make me really happy, Lauren. When I met you, I never imagined you’d be so important to me.”

Lauren laughs. “That’s because you didn’t like me.”

“I never said-” At Lauren’s snort, Camila cuts herself off, “okay, yeah, maybe I disliked you at first. I thought you didn’t like me either, since you never spoke to me and stared at me all the time-”

Lauren shakes her head. “I didn’t stare at you all the time, I just- you made me nervous and I thought you were pretty, _and_ I was drawing you, I had to look at you to draw you.”

“Sometimes I wonder what it’d be like if Dinah hadn’t told me about your autism,” Camila pauses to point in front of them, at a house with gold coloured lights around the windows. “That house is pretty, but simple. That’s how I want us to decorate our first house for Christmas.”

“Okay, I will write that in my journal,” Lauren promises, “and I was angry at Dinah for telling you about it, because I like to be the one to tell people. It’s my thing to tell.”

“Yeah, but Dinah telling me was what made me pull my head out of my ass and actually be nice to you.” Camila points out. “If it wasn’t for that, I don’t know where we’d be. I mean, after you showed me the drawing, I started wondering if maybe there was something different about you, but I doubt I would’ve asked you or anything.”

“Well, I mean… after you weren’t new anymore, I would’ve relaxed around you.” Lauren replies, knowing she’s not exactly being one hundred percent truthful and ignoring the fact that it would’ve taken her _months_ to settle, had it not been for Camila being so nice. “Then we would’ve made friends.”

“And how long after that would it have taken us to start dating?” Camila raises an eyebrow. “Forever, probably. I’m so happy with the way things worked out, even if Dinah did make you temporarily angry. You’re so unbelievably important to me, Lauren. You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep. You mean so much to me and I’m not sure if you get just how much I love you.”

Lauren feels her cheeks heat up, and she knows she’s gone red. “I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Then pull over and kiss me.” Camila folds her arms across her chest and sends her a challenging look. “ _Or_ you can wait until we get back to my house.”

“I think- I think I can wait,” Lauren says, purposely skipping out on looking at some Christmas lights to set off in the direction of Camila’s house. “Um… I really love you too, by the way. And I’m- I’m really glad I get you. I’m glad that you didn’t find anyone else.”

Camila snorts. “I _love_ you, loser. Of course I’d never be with anyone else.”

“Can we watch _Home Alone_ when we get back?” Lauren asks, the thought of Christmas distracting her from Camila’s words. “It’s one of my favourite Christmas movies. Did you know that there’s a tally for how many times the robbers actually should’ve died during the final scenes? I’ll show you it. I think one of them dies like, fourteen times.”

Camila bursts out laughing, and Lauren doesn’t know what’s so funny. Almost as if she senses that her girlfriend needs an explanation, Camila starts talking. “I think it’s hilariously adorable how distracted you get. I feel like if we ever argue, you’ll just start talking about… candles or something in the middle of it.”

Lauren frowns to herself. “I don’t mean to get distracted. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not a bad thing, baby,” Camila assures her, “I promise. I think it’s cute. You’re just… adorable. In every way.”

“Oh,” Lauren hums in reply, “well, okay then. I will- I will take it as a compliment. Anyway, we are back… so we can go up to your room and make out.”

Camila smiles. “I like the sound of that. Maybe a few other things could happen too. If you’re in the mood for it.”

Lauren frowns as she gets out of the car. “What kinds of other things? We could do baking, that’d be fun.”

Camila laughs. “No, Lolo, I meant like, physical things.”

“Oh,” Lauren’s eyes widen in realisation, before her face settles into a confused pout. “Isn’t your family home?”

“Well, yes, but my bedroom door has a lock,” Camila points out, “and maybe I find the risk of being walked in on a little hot.”

If anything, Lauren frowns even more, because she doesn’t know what Camila is talking about. She tries focusing on getting Nala and her overnight bag out of the trunk. “Really? That’s hot to you? I don’t think I’d like to be walked in on by my parents. That would make me uncomfortable.”

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” Camila is quick to assure her, “it was just a suggestion, babe.”

Lauren hums to herself, watching as Camila unlocks the front door. “We should play board games. Or do baking.”

“Alright,” Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek and takes her bag from her. “We can play board games. If you really want.”

Lauren opens her mouth to say yes and ask if Camila happens to have Cluedo, because she really wants to brush up on her skills before she sees Lucy again, since she’d really love to beat her friend, but Sinu steps out of the lounge and beats her to talking.

“Karla, Lauren,” She greets them both with a smile, “did you have a nice date?”

“Yes, mom,” Camila rolls her eyes and takes Lauren’s hand, “we’re going to go upstairs and watch a movie.”

“Yes, _Home Alone_ ,” Lauren clarifies, “it’s my favourite Christmas movie and Camzi said we could watch it and snuggle.”

Sinu smiles, “Well, Karla, your papi and I would like a word. With both of you.”

Camila frowns, but tugs Lauren into the lounge after Sinu. The older Latina is a little confused as to why she’s included in the talk with Camila’s parents, because she assumes it’s family matters, and family matters are for family only, and she’s not related to them.

Camila is the one to ask what’s going on. “What is this about?”

“Well, your dad and I have been talking with Lauren’s parents,” Sinu starts, making Lauren even more confused, because she doesn’t know why Sinu would need to speak to her parents. “Karla, since you’re graduating this year, we thought it’d be nice to take a little trip as a graduation present. We’re going to Spain for two weeks in June, and Lauren’s parents say that it’s okay for her to join us. If she’d like to.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “ _Seriously_? We’re- you- I can bring Lauren?”

Lauren looks at Camila with a frown. “That’s what she said. Weren’t you listening?”

“I’m just surprised,” Camila says, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “You really organised all of this?”

“Yes,” Alejandro responds, not glancing away from the football game on TV. “It’s mostly all booked, and Lauren’s parents have paid for her plane ticket and half of the hotel room she’ll be sharing with you.”

Camila turns to Lauren with a hopeful smile. “Well, I guess that means you kind of have to come with me. To _Spain_.”

“Yes, I will come.” Lauren says, rubbing her hand along her thigh. “I would like to come to Spain with you after graduation.”

Camila wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist and kisses her cheek, and then Lauren feels a soft weight on her shoulder, realising that Camila’s head is rested there. “Well, that’s just the best ending to a perfect night.”

Lauren hums. “It’s not over yet. We still need to watch _Home Alone_.”

“Oh, yeah, can’t forget about that.” Camila stands up and ruffles Lauren’s hair, before turning to her mom. “We’re going to go upstairs and watch the evidently super important movie. Lauren’s sleeping over and I think we’re probably going to be upstairs for the rest of the night, so…”

Sinu sends them a knowing smile. “Leave the door open.”

At her words, Lauren frowns. “I hate open doors. They make me feel exposed and tense, I do not like feeling exposed and tense. We are going to close the door, right, Camz?”

Camila looks like she’s trying not to laugh. “Um… if my parents say it’s okay.”

“What is _with_ parents and doors?” Lauren asks, mostly to herself, “I don’t understand why they’re obsessed with keeping doors open. Like, my dad always tells Chris to keep his door open when he has a girl in the house. I don’t understand _why_ , it’s just a door.”

When Lauren finishes her little rant, Camila sends her parents a look, and eventually, Alejandro sighs. “Fine. You can close the door, but _no locking it_.”

“Okay, I think that’s a good compromise,” Camila says, taking Lauren’s hand and pulling her up from the couch. “Come on, dork. Let’s watch _Home Alone_.”

“Oh, and after, we can watch _Home Alone 2: Lost in New York_.” Lauren says as they head out of the room and towards the stairs. “I still don’t get why your parents wanted the door open. Did they want to hear the movie or something? I think that’d be distracting, I’d hate to overhear someone else’s movie when I’m watching TV.”

“No, Lo,” Camila laughs, “they wanted us to keep the door open so they could make sure we weren’t having sex.”

Lauren’s eyes widen in realisation. “ _Oh._ Right. Uh, well, that’s quite unfortunate for them, since I don’t like open doors. But we weren’t going to have sex, they could’ve just _asked_.”

“That’s not really how parents work, Lolo,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand as she opens her bedroom door and then kicks it closed behind them. “And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you like that right now.”

“Oh… you are _turned on_?” Lauren asks, watching as Camila nods and slides the lock on the door. “I see. Your parents said you’re not supposed to lock the door.”

Camila shrugs and sits down on the bed next to Lauren, playing with the hem of her sweater. “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve rebelled.”

Lauren shifts uncomfortably when Camila pulls her sweater off, and she self-consciously reaches up to cover her chest with her arms. “Can you- can you give me my sweater back, please?”

Camila pouts, but hands it over. “Sorry. I thought maybe you’d be okay with it.”

“With what?” Lauren tugs her sweater back on and grabs Nala from on top of her overnight bag, cuddling her lion to her chest. “You wanted to have sex?”

“Yes,” Camila says, “but it’s okay. You don’t want to right now and consent is the most important thing.”

“Well, I am not particularly in the mood, but…” Lauren frowns and grabs Camila’s hand. “I will if that’s what you want.”

“No, you have to want it too,” Camila tells her, kissing her forehead. “Another time, alright? We’ll- you can write down a time or date in your journal and surprise me. Deal?”

“Um… okay.” Lauren nods. “Deal.”

“Good,” Camila’s thumb traces over Lauren’s knuckles. “I’m going to go put my pyjamas on and I’ll be back for _Home Alone_ in a minute. Okay, baby?”

“Okay,” Lauren nods and strokes her fingers along Nala’s fur. “See you in a minute.”

As Lauren watches her girlfriend go, she reaches down into her overnight bag and grabs her journal, smiling to herself as she uncaps her pen and writes _New Year’s Eve – Surprise Camila_ in neat cursive on a fresh page. Then, she closes her journal and tucks it away in her bag, before settling down on the bed.

Yes, New Year’s Eve would be a good night.


	55. Chapter 55

“It’s Christmas Eve!” Lauren bounds down the stairs the second the sun sets and pounces on her siblings in the lounge. “Aren’t you guys excited?”

“Laur, it’s like, four in the afternoon,” Chris says as she tries to stuff a Santa hat on his head. “Calm down a little.”

“It’s _dark_ , so that means you’re allowed to be festive, even though I’ve been festive since November,” Lauren replies, carefully putting a pink Santa hat on Taylor’s head. “Have you given everyone their presents? I have, except for Camila, she’s getting hers later when she comes over. We’re getting pizza tonight too. And- and I’m going to help mom with the cooking tomorrow, since I’m a super great chef.”

Taylor smiles. “I think it’s sweet that you’re so excited. You’ve always liked Christmas, haven’t you?”

“Oh, yes, I _adore_ it.” Lauren wedges herself in between her siblings on the couch and throws an arm around both of them. “I love giving presents and making people happy.”

“So, your hot girlfriend is coming over tonight?” Chris raises an eyebrow, “I better not hear any sex noises from your room.”

“No, we are not having sex until New Year’s Eve,” Lauren casually responds, not noticing how both of her siblings let out a strangled coughing sound. “So you don’t have to worry. And she’s not even staying over.”

Taylor laughs. “Ignore Chris, Laur. You and Camila are adorable and I’m _so_ glad you’re happy.”

“Yes, I am very happy,” Lauren hums to herself, “do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet, Taylor? You know you can tell me if you do, and you can- can ask me for relationship advice and I can be a good big sister.”

Taylor hugs her. “You’re already a good big sister.”

Lauren tilts her head to the side and thinks. “Well, I don’t know, I haven’t- you never come to me for girl talk or advice. And I know I’m different, but I’m still good at things like that. You can talk to me about anything.”

“I know,” Taylor bumps against her comfortingly, “You know I don’t look down on you for being different. You’re my big sister, Laur. I love you.”

Lauren smiles. “Yes, well, we should watch Christmas movies. But we need to wait until Camila comes over at five.”

Chris stands up and stretches. “I’ll be in my room playing video games until mom and dad call for family festivities. See you two later.”

Lauren frowns as she watches her brother go, because she’d wanted to have some bonding time with her siblings. But she’s fine, because she still has Taylor. “So… how’s school? Is- is there any teenage drama going on? Do you need me to beat someone up?”

Taylor laughs. “We go to the same school, Lauren. You’d know if there was drama.”

“Oh, yes,” Lauren rubs her hand along her thigh nervously, because she doesn’t really know how to interact with her little sister properly, since Taylor isn’t really a kid anymore. Kids are easy to talk to, but teenagers? Even though Lauren’s one herself, she doesn’t understand them at all. “How- how are your classes? Are they hard? If you need help, I will help, I have a 5.0 GPA.”

“They’re fine,” Taylor says, giving her a hug. “I appreciate your offer, though.”

“I…” Lauren trails off and bites down on her bottom lip. “Talk to me, Tay. About your life. Please. I would like to- to be a good big sister and- and have you talk to me about things. Please let me be a good big sister.”

Taylor stares at her for a moment, before letting out a sigh. “There’s this boy. And I like him, but I don’t know how to approach him since we’re not exactly friends and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t notice me at all.”

“Oh, well,” Lauren frowns, “you could… ask him to tutor you in a class you share, or ask him to be your partner on a project. Or just walk up and say hello.”

Taylor smiles. “Thanks for the advice, Lauren.”

“Oh, you’re welcome.” Lauren replies, a little more preoccupied because Dash comes running out of the kitchen, and she makes a mental note to buy a Santa hat to fit a puppy for next year. “I think I will text Camila now. To make sure she’s still coming.”

Taylor just nods in reply and turns back to the TV, and Lauren pulls her phone out of her pocket and sets Dash on her lap.

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:26PM): Are you still coming over?_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:26PM): Also, Merry Christmas ya filthy animal!!!_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:26PM): And a happy New Year!_ **

**_Camz <3 (4:27PM): yes i’m still coming and ur a dork_ **

**_Camz <3 (4:27PM): r u in christmas attire????? do i need to bring an xmas sweater_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:28PM): I am wearing black jeans and my reindeer sweater, and I am not wearing makeup since it’s not a special occasion, and I have also changed my nose ring to the stud again and I have not brushed my hair. That is what I look like right now. Also, I made Christmas cookies earlier if you’d like one._ **

**_Camz <3 (4:28PM): thx for the detailed account baby_ **

**_Camz <3 (4:28PM): im setting off to urs now i’ll see u in like a half hour_ **

**_Lolo Jauregui <3 (4:29PM): I will see you soon. Love you. :)_ **

**_Camz <3 (4:29PM): love u too lolo_ **

With that, Lauren pockets her phone and starts playing with Dash, because she needs to pass the time before Camila comes. She adjusts the Christmas hat on her head with a smile and kisses the top of her puppy’s head, before walking over to the DVD drawer and searching through for Christmas movies.

She pulls out the first three _Home Alone_ movies, and has to resist the temptation to sneakily put _The Lion King_ at the bottom of the pile, and digs around until she finds _It’s A Wonderful Life,_ Disney’s _A Christmas Carol_ and _The Nightmare Before Christmas_. Satisfied with her choices, she closes the drawer and flops back onto the couch next to Taylor.

“Camz is nearly here, I think,” Lauren informs her, “I will get the door when she knocks and then I will go upstairs and get my special blue blanket and Camz and I will share that couch over there.”

Taylor smiles. “You plan everything out, don’t you?”

“Yes, always,” Lauren sends her a proud smile. “I enjoy planning, it helps me understand. I’m not- I like routine and structure. But you know that already because you’re my sister, you know how my autism works.”

“Do you want to go for a walk with me, Lo?” Taylor asks, changing the subject completely. “Like we used to when we were kids, and we’d look for Santa in the sky.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Alright then, but we only have half an hour before Camz gets here. We could wait and she could come with us-”

“No, just us,” Taylor says, standing up from the couch, “I never hang out with just you.”

“Oh,” Lauren frowns to herself, “okay, I will get my shoes on and then we can go for a walk for half an hour.”             

Taylor nods and gestures towards the door, prompting Lauren to stand up and head out into the hallway to put her shoes on. “We’ll go to the park, yeah? That’s not too far away.”

“Yes,” Lauren agrees; she likes the park. It’s never usually that loud since parents tend to take their kids to a different park that has a playground, and she enjoys nature a lot. “We can take Dash! Dash, walkies!”

At the word, the puppy comes running out of the kitchen and bounces up at her. Lauren giggles, because she loves it when her puppy is excited about things, and grabs his leash once she’s finished putting her shoes on.

Taylor calls out to their parents, telling them they’ll be back in fifteen minutes and that they’re just taking Dash out, and then they make their way to the park. Lauren listens as Taylor talks about her school life and how she hates certain teachers but loves others, and doesn’t contribute much to the conversation other than some hums in what she thinks are the right places, but she likes it that way. She’s more of a listener than a talker.

Lauren gets a little tired out after running around on the grass with Dash, so Taylor takes over and tries to unsuccessfully teach the hyperactive puppy how to play fetch as Lauren sits down on the closest bench next to someone, making sure to keep her distance from the unknown person.

She’s a little surprised when they speak to her. “Hi. It’s Lauren, isn’t it? Lauren Jauregui?”

Lauren blinks in surprise, because she didn’t know that the stranger would know her name. It’s not like she has it written on something. “Um… I don’t know you.”

“Yeah, you do!” The girl is quick to reply. “We’re in the same art class. On Wednesday night? You’re super talented, our teacher kind of loves you.”

Lauren blinks in confusion and looks up, studying the girl’s face. She looks kind of familiar, but Lauren doesn’t remember her name. “I still don’t know you.”

“I’m Ashley,” the girl introduces herself, “Ashley Frangipane.”

“Oh,” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, “I’m sorry I didn’t recognise you.”

Ashley laughs. “It’s okay. We’ve never spoken before, but I know your friend Keana. She’s told me about you.”

“She did?” Lauren frowns, not sure why Keana would talk about her to some random girl. “What did she say?”

“She told me that you’re the most talented artist she knows,” Ashley says with a smile, “and that you’re best friends with Lucy and Alexa who are in art, too.”

“Oh, Lucy’s my platonic soulmate,” Lauren replies, tapping on her leg, “we think the same. I’m autistic and she’s- well, that’s her thing to tell, not mine.”

“Lucy’s the one Keana likes, right?” Ashley asks. “The one that sits next to you?”

Lauren looks up in surprise and grins at Ashley, because she’s just given her a piece of vital information. “Keana likes Luc? That’s good, because I’m trying to set her up. Lucy’s girlfriend broke up with her last month, and I think Keana and Lucy would be good together.”

Ashley smiles. “Well, if you need any help getting them together, feel free to ask me.”

“I- thank you,” Lauren beams, and decides she’s going to talk to Ashley the next time she goes to art class. “I think I’m quite good at matchmaking, my girlfriend and I got two of our friends together and they’re both super happy.”

“You have a girlfriend?” Ashley asks her, before her face settles into a small grin. “That’s so cute. What’s her name?”

“Camila,” Lauren can’t hold back her grin when she thinks about her girlfriend, “she’s so wonderful. She was one of my friends before we started dating, and we’ve been together for ages now. I love her a lot.”

“It’s nice to talk to other queer girls,” Ashley replies, “I’m bi. Are you-”

“Me too!” Lauren cuts in with an excited squeal, “this is nice, I like you, I’m going to talk to you in art class, I think.”

Ashley seems a little surprised by the sudden outburst, and Lauren worries that she’s said something wrong and that she’s just ruined a potential friendship. But then, Ashley pulls her phone out of her pocket and holds it out to Lauren. “Put your number in. We can hang out some time and talk strategy about getting Keana and Lucy together. Maybe your girlfriend can come along too.”

“Oh, okay,” Lauren puts her number in, because she has it memorised, and then passes the phone back to Ashley, frowning when she feels her own buzz in her pocket. “I have a text.”

“Yeah, it’s from me. I texted you so you’ll have my number too,” Ashley says, pointing ahead of them as Lauren saves her number. “I think your friend – that girl you came with – is coming over.”

“Oh, that’s my sister, Taylor,” Lauren says, smiling when Taylor comes over with Dash. “Hi, Tay. This is Ashley, she’s in my art class on Wednesdays.”

“Hi.” Taylor greets her cautiously. “Anyway, Laur, we should get going. It’s nearly five and you need to be home to meet Camila.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods and turns to Ashley. “I am going now. I will see you in art class in the New Year if I don’t see you before that.”

“Okay,” Ashley nods, “I’ll text you some time.”

“Alright. Goodbye,” Lauren replies as she gets up off the bench and follows her sister and Dash out of the park. “She was nice.”

Taylor laughs. “I can’t believe I just saw my sister get a girl’s number.”

“It was only platonic.” Lauren protests, because she’s not interested in a relationship with anyone other than Camila. “I made a new friend.”

Taylor shakes her head with a smile on her face. “I know, I was teasing. Takes me like ten years to make a new friend. Teach me your secrets, Lo.”

Lauren shrugs. “I don’t know what I did. She just started talking to me because she knew who I was from art class. But I’m glad I made a new friend.”

“Good,” Taylor nudges her as they walk towards their house just as Sinu’s car pulls up. “Your girlfriend is here now.”

Letting Taylor hold Dash’s leash, Lauren breaks out into a run and practically jumps Camila as she gets out of the car, mimicking what she’s seen her girlfriend do a million times before and giving her a koala hug. “Hi.”

Camila laughs as Lauren detaches herself from her. “Hey, baby. Excited to see me?”

“Yes, very,” Lauren leans in and gives her a chaste kiss, “Merry Christmas, Camzi,” Then, she redirects her gaze to Sinu, “hello, Sinu. Merry Christmas. I will drop Camz at home at half past eight so she can tuck Sofi into bed and read her Christmas stories like she says she does every year.”

Sinu sends her a warm smile. “That’s okay, I can pick her up-”

“No,” Lauren interrupts. “My family go out for a drive every year to look at the Christmas lights, so we can drop her off on the way. There’s no point in making you come out of the house if we’re just going to be driving anyway. So we’ll drop her off.”

“See, mom,” Camila takes Lauren’s hand and smiles to Taylor as she passes them and heads into the house, “Told you Lauren would bring me home. I’ll see you at half eight, alright?”

“Okay,” Sinu nods and starts the car again, “Half past eight. Have a good night.”

As Sinu drives away, Lauren pulls Camila up the driveway and towards the house. “Camz, I made a new friend at the park. She was from my art class, but I’d never spoken to her before. She’s friends with Keana and she’s going to help me get her and Lucy together.”

Camila rolls her eyes, “See? You’re like, super good at making friends, yet you act like you suck at it.”

“Well, I don’t think I’m good at it, but I don’t care,” Lauren says as she leads Camila into the house. “Anyway, we’re going to watch Christmas movies and drink hot chocolate and- and you get to hang out with me and my family and I will come to your house next year.”

“Alright then. I like the sound of that.” Camila smiles and kisses her cheek, kicking off her shoes by the door. “So… your bedroom for snuggles?”

“No, lounge,” Lauren points towards the closed lounge door. “We are spending time with my family because it’s Christmas and- and that’s what I always do on- on Christmas.”

“Alright then, loser,” Camila nudges her. “I know how much your routines mean to you.”

“Yes,” Lauren smiles, pushing the lounge door open and leading Camila inside, “I like routine. Anyway, I got out a bunch of Christmas movies that we’re going to watch, I’ll let you pick your favourite though. The pile is over there.”

As Lauren flops down on the couch that she usually sits on, Camila goes and looks through the DVD pile, letting out a loud snort at something. “ _Really_ , Lo?”

“What?” Lauren sits up but doesn’t make a move to see what Camila is laughing at. “What is it?”

“ _The Lion King_?” Camila holds the disk up and raises an eyebrow. “Not exactly a Christmas movie.”

Lauren sends her a sheepish smile. “I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “This is going back in the drawer. Christmas movies only tonight. Unless it’s part of your routine to watch it or something.”

Lauren considers lying and saying that it _is_ part of her Christmas routine, but instead she shakes her head, because she knows that she’s an awful liar. “No. Not part of my routine.”

Camila smiles triumphantly and puts it back in the DVD drawer. “Finally. _Adios_ , Simba.”

Lauren huffs and gets herself comfortable again. “We could’ve watched it anyway.”

“No way,” Camila laughs, holding up _A Nightmare Before Christmas_. “I’ve never seen this. Does it live up to the hype all of those kids who shop at Hot Topic make about it?”

Lauren hums in thought. “It’s interesting. But if you haven’t seen it, maybe we should watch it. My mom hates it, so we should put it on now while she’s working on dinner for tomorrow with my dad. I think Taylor’s helping too now.”

Camila frowns. “Do you usually help?”

“Yes, but I anticipated that with you coming over for a little while, I would not have as much time to help, so I promised my mom that I will help her when you go home, if there’s anything left for me to do.” Lauren explains. “It is okay, Camz. I made sure I scheduled tonight so I have a structure to work off.”

“Okay,” Camila puts _A Nightmare Before Christmas_ into the player and settles down onto the couch next to Lauren. “Can I give you tummy rubs?”

Lauren beams, because usually she has to ask for that, and shifts so she’s sat between Camila’s legs, rolling her Christmas sweater up to her ribs. She jumps a little when Camila’s hands come in contact with her bare skin, because she hadn’t been expecting them to be that cold. But, her girlfriend’s fingers start tracing over her skin and Lauren relaxes in her arms as the movie starts, not really paying much attention to it; she’s seen it before, and she’s much more focused on Camila.

She closes her eyes for a moment, and the next thing she knows, she’s being nudged in the side, and she blinks in confusion, seeing her mom laughing from the couch and Camila looking down at her with a smile.

“Hey, baby,” Camila kisses the top of her head. “You had a little nap.”

“I did?” Lauren frowns. “Oh. I’m sorry, I was just… really comfy. How long was I asleep for?”

“Only half an hour,” Camila says, “your mom said I should wake you up so you’re not cranky later.”

Lauren pouts and sends her mom her best glare. “I’m not- I’m not _cranky_.”

Clara just laughs. “I think I’d know when I’m the one who gets your bad moods.”

Lauren harrumphs and buries her face in Camila’s neck. “Camz loves me no matter if I’m in a bad mood or not.”

Camila raises an eyebrow. “I just enjoy letting people know that you’re my girlfriend. I mean, look at you. You’re kind of out of my league.”

“That’s a lie,” Lauren replies, “You’re very beautiful, Camila. Please don’t put yourself down in front of me. I don’t like it.”

Camila runs a hand through Lauren’s hair and smiles. “You’re a sweetheart. Thank you.”

“I’m just telling you the truth,” Lauren shrugs and stretches, “You’re gorgeous. I think you’re the prettiest person I’ve ever seen, baby.”

Camila laughs and ruffles Lauren’s hair. “Honestly, Lo, you’re the _sweetest_. You don’t have to tell me these things.”

“I like to,” Lauren replies, sitting up and rubbing at her eyes. “I need to give you your present.”

“I left yours in the hall. Do you want to open it now?” Camila asks, following Lauren out of the room. “Or would that break your routine?”

“I am allowed to open one present on Christmas Eve.” Lauren says. “So I will open yours.”

“Alright,” Camila picks up the badly wrapped present from where she’d left it and holds it out. “Here. I kind of… suck at wrapping presents.”

Lauren looks at it for a moment and shrugs. “It’s okay. I’m only going to end up ripping it open anyway, right?”

“True,” Camila nods in agreement, “but yeah. Go ahead and open it.”

Lauren digs her fingers under the wrapping paper, ripping it off and beaming. “My mulled wine!”

“Yeah, but there’s,” Camila pauses as Lauren reads the label on the wine, “there’s other stuff too.”

“I know, but I really love mulled wine,” Lauren smiles and carefully sets the bottle down. “What else is there?”

“Well… stuff you like,” Camila explains, picking up the DVD of _The Lion King_ , “I know you already have a DVD, but this is the two disc platinum edition. I saw it on Amazon and figured you’d want to look at the special features disk. There’s also, uh, a few polaroids I took on our dates. That you can stick on your wall if you want…”

“Is this-” Lauren frowns as she picks something else up, “is this a Kovu plushie?”

“Yeah. I sneakily bought it at Disney when you weren’t paying attention.” Camila laughs. “I couldn’t think of any other _Lion King_ plushies you didn’t have, so I figured it’s time to head to the second movie.”

“Oh,” Lauren beams at her. “Thanks, Camzi!”

“There’s also some Reese’s peanut butter cups in there,” Camila adds, “I wanted to give you everything you love.”

Lauren hums. “You’re not in the basket. So you didn’t give me _everything_ I love.”

Camila laughs. “Yeah, but you already had me. Can’t give you something you already have, can I?”

Lauren hums in thought. “No. I guess not. Two Camilas would probably be a bit too much anyway, because I’d have twice the people to protect and stop from falling over air.”

“Gravity _hates_ me,” Camila pouts, “it’s not my fault. I wish I knew what I did. It’s been like this since I was _born_ , half the time I don’t even think I did anything. I think it’s just mean.”

“Gravity isn’t a _person_ , Camz. It can’t hate you.” Lauren points out, humming to herself as she gets out the fluffy socks Camila had put in the gift basket. “I like these. Very fuzzy.”

“Good to know,” Camila reaches out and squeezes Lauren’s hand. “I have a second bottle of mulled wine for you, but it wouldn’t fit. So… I’ll give that to you when you come to my house next.”

“Oh, thank you,” Lauren smiles, “now I can drink all of this one tonight!”

“All of it?” Camila raises an eyebrow. “Planning on getting drunk, Lo?”

“Oh, no, I don’t like being drunk because of the hangovers after,” Lauren tells her what she already knows, “but I don’t mind being tipsy because then I don’t get a hangover. And I really like mulled wine.”

Camila just laughs. “Alright, babe. You do whatever makes you happy.”

“Well,” Lauren leans forward and kisses her, “that makes me happy. You make me happy.”

Camila raises an eyebrow and tugs Lauren upstairs. “Well then. In that case… you should give me my present.”

“I nearly forgot about that,” Lauren admits as she kicks the door closed behind them. “Sit down on my bed. It’s in my present drawer.”

Camila does as Lauren says, and the older girl opens up the drawer she reserves for Christmas presents, grabbing the one present left in there. Then, she crosses back over to the bed and holds it out to Camila.

The younger girl takes it and unwraps it, nearly having a heart attack when she sees the little box. “Lauren…”

Lauren rocks on her heels. “Open it.”

Camila does as she says, opening the box and staring down at the gold ring inside. “Lauren, this-”

“It was my abuela’s,” Lauren interrupts, sitting down on the bed next to her, “and she- she gave it to me when she was still alive and told me that if I found someone that I loved with all my heart, she wanted me to give it to them. I know she probably meant in a proposal kind of way, but I- I wanted to give it to you now. Because I love you and I’m sure that I want to spend forever with you and when I actually propose, I want to give you something I picked out. So I guess this is kind of like a… a mock proposal. A sort of- a proposal for a proposal.”

“Lauren,” Camila’s mouth works and she fails to get the words out, so she pulls her girlfriend in for a tight hug and buries her face in her neck. “I love you so much.”

“I know,” Lauren’s fingers brush through her hair, “oh, your hair is very soft. Stimmy. I like it. But- um, anyway, yes- do you like the ring?”

“I love it,” Camila mumbles, “God, Lauren, I want to fast forward to when we’re married and we have our kittens and… and we’re just _together_ and happy.”

Lauren hums. “I don’t. I’d rather experience it all with you. The ups and downs. All of it. And that’s why I gave you the ring, because I want to experience everything with you. Together.”

“You’re so unbelievably good at this,” Camila watches in awe as Lauren slides the ring onto her finger. “You’re just- you’re _amazing_ and it- it makes me wonder what I _ever_ saw in anyone else.”

Lauren snuggles up against her. “I- I want to be with you forever, Camzi.”

“I know,” Camila leans up and kisses her. “Me too.”

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Lauren speaks up. “Merry Christmas, Camz.”

“Yeah,” Camila kisses her. “Merry Christmas, Lolo.”

“Can- can we go back downstairs?” Lauren asks, tapping on her leg, “I’d like to- to sit with my family. You can cuddle me if you’d like. We’re having pork for dinner.”

“Okay,” Camila kisses Lauren’s temple and stands up, stretching. “Thank you for the ring, Lo. Seriously. It’s beautiful and it obviously means a lot to you because it’s from your abuela-”

“She wanted me to give it to the person I love,” Lauren interrupts, taking her hand and leading her downstairs. “You’re the person I love, and I know she would’ve approved of you because of how accepting and wonderful you are. She understood me and she would’ve- she would’ve loved you, because you understand me too.”

“Lauren…” Camila cuts her off before they can walk into the lounge, “I really wish I could’ve met your abuela. She seems like she was a wonderful woman, and she- I just, I’m so glad that you had someone there. Someone like her, who accepted you for what you are when your parents were trying to change you.”

Lauren smiles. “She was extraordinary. Christmas was her favourite holiday, and we’d go to her house every year and- and we’d eat Christmas dinner and eat cookies and watch movies and I’d sit on her lap in her rocking chair until I fell asleep. And when she died… it took me a long time to get over it, and- and I was still kind of hurting from it when you moved here. I’m still hurting from it now, a little. But… but I know she’s somewhere good, and she’s so proud of me and that- that people…”

“That people what?” Camila presses when Lauren interrupts her, “What’s wrong?”

Lauren shakes her head. “Nothing is _wrong_ , it’s just- my abuela used to say that people had two lives, and when their actual life ends, the second one begins. Like… it’s through memories. My abuela will live on through my memories and stories about her, and that’s the second life. And the second life… when you’re in your second life, you’re immortal. You can never die as long as people pass down stories about you, because no matter how alone you think you are, there’s always someone you’ve made an impact on. Even if that person doesn’t even know your name. Even if you live on through a homeless person that you gave a dollar to one day so they could buy their dinner. Everyone lives on.”

Camila smiles. “That’s beautiful.”

“Yeah. It is,” Lauren agrees, rocking on her heels. “Anyway… let’s go in the lounge now. Would you like a drink?”

Camila nods as Lauren opens the lounge door and flops down on the free couch. “I think since it’s Christmas Eve, hot chocolate is in order. And marshmallows.”

Lauren beams. “Yes. Yours will have pink marshmallows and mine will have the white ones. I’ll be right back, I’m going to go make them.”

“Okay, baby,” Camila nods and watches as Lauren makes her way out of the room and into the kitchen. When the door opens again and Chris walks through, Camila doesn’t bother making conversation; out of all of the Jaureguis, Chris is the one she’s never really spoken with before.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Camila jumps in surprise – when he’d sat down on the other couch, she hadn’t expected him to talk to her. “Uh… depends what the question is.”

He nods. “How much do you care about my sister?”

“Too much,” Camila is quick to reply, “I love her. Why?”

“Because even though Lauren and I aren’t as close as everyone else, I’ll still kick your ass if you hurt her.” He says, sending Taylor a smile as she walks in the room with a mug. “And Tay will do the same, right?”

Taylor sits down next to Chris and shrugs. “What’re we talking about?”

“Beating me up, apparently,” Camila says, “only hypothetically and under the condition that I hurt Lauren first, which would never happen anyway.”

“Oh, yeah, that’d definitely never happen,” Taylor replies with a laugh. “But if by some miracle it _does_ , then yeah, I’ll help you beat her up, Chris.”

“Who are you beating up?” Lauren asks as she walks through the kitchen door and sits down, kissing Camila on the cheek and handing her a mug of cocoa with pink marshmallows. “Violence is wrong, you guys know that.”

“It’s nothing, Laur,” Taylor assures her, “just talking to Camila about hypothetical situations.”

“Oh, like alternate universes?” Lauren doesn’t even give her a chance to reply. “Camz and I have talked about those a lot, they’re super interesting actually. I think they exist.”

“Yeah, Lo,” Camila pulls Lauren in for a hug. “I bet they do. But I quite like the universe, I think.”

“Yes, me too,” Lauren bobs her head in agreement, “especially around this time of year. Christmas is the best holiday, although I do like Halloween a lot too. We had a great Halloween, didn’t we?”

“Yeah,” Camila replies, ruffling Lauren’s hair and beaming when her girlfriend scrunches her nose up and shoves her away lightly. “We did. You and your damn masterpiece pumpkin carvings totally stole the show from me and Sofi.”

Lauren laughs. “Well, uh, we can make Christmas cookies after we watch a movie with my family. And then you can make masterpiece cookies and _steal the show_ from me.”

“Okay,” Camila agrees as Lauren rests her head on her shoulder. “That’s a deal. I’ll kick your ass by making the best cookies anyone has ever tasted.”

Lauren hums and cuddles up to her side. “Yes. Okay.”

“You always say yes,” Camila points out, “never yeah, or yep, or… something of that nature. Always straight up _yes.”_

“Oh,” Lauren frowns, “I didn’t realise I had any particular words that I used more frequently than others.”

“Yeah, there’s a few more actually,” Camila points out. “I. Have. A. 5.0. GPA.”

Lauren gives her a light shove and rolls her eyes. “You’re the worst.”

“Nope,” Camila shakes her head, “I’m the _best_.”

“It’s not- you always make fun of my GPA, I think you’re jealous,” Lauren pouts at her, and Camila thinks it’s the most adorable thing she’s seen all year. “You’re jealous that I’m smarter than you so you make fun of my GPA.”

“No, I make fun of how you constantly brag about it,” Camila nudges her in the side and kisses her cheek. “But in a good way. I think it’s adorable and it’s something you should be proud of.”

“I… yes,” Lauren nods, “I’m proud of it, I won an award last year for my grades, I had to go up on stage and collect it and everyone saw so they all know I’m smarter than they are.”

“You’re the smartest,” Camila agrees, dropping her voice to a whisper when she continues, “and the hottest.”

“I- _Camz_ ,” Lauren blushes, “thanks. You’re super sweet. Anyway, um- do you… do you like your cocoa? You haven’t really been drinking it.”

“I’m waiting for the marshmallows to melt into it,” Camila says, taking a sip of it anyway, “it’s sweeter that way.”

“Oh,” Lauren smiles and takes Camila’s free hand. “Good. I thought you just didn’t like it, but it’s Christmas Eve, you have to have hot chocolate. Also- also, mulled wine. I will open the bottle later.”

“Okay, baby,” Camila squeezes her hand. “You don’t have to share it with me, you know.”

“I know. But I want to,” Lauren smiles at her. “I like sharing things with you. You’re my best friend.”

“You’re- you’re my everything,” Camila says back, kissing Lauren’s cheek. “And I love you, nerd.”

Lauren hums in thought and fiddles with the gold ring she’d put on Camila’s finger earlier. “I know. I love you too, and I’m so glad… that I get to have this with you. And that I’ll get to have this with you for the rest of my life.”

“Yeah,” Camila rests her forehead against Lauren’s and leans in to kiss her. “We’ll have great Christmases when we’re older. I promise.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “Merry Christmas, babe.”

Camila blushes. “Merry Christmas, baby girl.”


	56. Chapter 56

“It feels strange, not going to Manibear’s New Year party like I do every year.” Lauren comments as she opens the front door to Camila, not bothering to say hello. “But it’s not- it’s not bad, because I planned tonight lots. So don’t say that you’re ruining my routine like you did in your text.”

Camila kicks her shoes off, and Lauren reaches down to stack them one on top of the other, because she doesn’t like it when shoes are left haphazardly by the door. “Alright then. I won’t feel bad. I was just worried in case you wanted to go but didn’t because you thought I wanted something else.”

“No, I’m not doing tonight for you only, I’m doing it for both of us,” Lauren rolls her eyes, pulling Camila into the lounge. “We’re home alone because my parents are at one of my mom’s friends New Year’s party, my brother is at a friend’s party and Taylor is having a sleepover with her friends. Mom left a bottle of champagne and I have three bottles of Prosecco for us to have and- and if you want, I’ll share some of my weed with you.”

Camila blinks at her in surprise. “You want to get high tonight?”

“No, but if you wanted to, I would share,” Lauren rocks on her heels and sits Camila down on the couch. “Unless you’d like me to get high? It’s just, I like champagne on New Year’s Eve, and I don’t want to mix alcohol and weed in case something bad happens.”

“No, that’s-” Camila cuts herself off, “I was just surprised. I still haven’t seen high Lauren and I want her to make an appearance soon.”

“Well... when Mani has a party,” Lauren decides, “then I will. But not tonight because I’d like champagne. And Prosecco, I like that too, and it doesn’t really count as mixing drinks because they’re both… similar.”

Camila frowns at her, and Lauren doesn’t understand what she’s said wrong. “You don’t like mixing drinks?”

“No, it makes me feel sick.” Lauren replies, watching as Camila’s frown disappears and sighing in relief. Then, she jabs her thumb over her shoulder and gestures towards the kitchen door. “I am going to open the Prosecco. We need to keep the champagne for midnight so we can drink when the New Year comes in and- and then kiss. We need to kiss at midnight.”

“We will,” Camila pulls her down and kisses her anyway, “it’s more than likely that I’ll already be kissing you anyways. You’re kind of irresistible.”

Lauren blushes, not liking how hot her face feels. “Um… yes. Anyway. I am going to open the Prosecco now, would you like a glass?”

Camila hums in thought. “Alright then. Sure.”

At Camila’s words, Lauren spins on her heel and makes her way into the kitchen, opening the bottle with ease and pouring out two glasses, carrying them back into the lounge. She holds out one for Camila, and puts the other in front of her on the coffee table, before straightening out the red cropped t-shirt she’s wearing. She’d worn this before her and Camila’s first time, and she hopes it’ll have a good effect on her girlfriend tonight. Especially because of what she’s planning.

“Do you- um,” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and blushes. “Do you like my outfit?”

Camila smiles and rests her hands on Lauren’s bare waist. “I love it. I loved it the first time you wore it, too. Your Disney day two look is my favourite.”

Lauren flushes even more, if that’s possible. “Thanks, Camz. I’m- I’m glad you like it. Would you like to watch some TV? We can watch anything you want, but we have to watch the fireworks in Times Square at midnight. Maybe- maybe next year we can see them in person… if we both get into NYU.”

“Maybe,” Camila agrees, “but TV sounds good. We can watch anything you want. Except for _The Lion King_. I’m kind of _Lion King_ ed out for this year. We’ve watched it too much.”

Lauren snorts. “You can never watch it too much. It’s a classic. I’ve already watched the platinum edition you gave me for Christmas, I _loved_ the special features DVD. I watched all the behind the scenes footage and interviews with the animators.”

Camila stares at her for a moment, and Lauren feels uncomfortable under her gaze, because her girlfriend isn’t speaking and she’s worried she’s said something wrong. But then, Camila’s face breaks out into a smile, and signalling she’s going to touch her, she leans in and kisses her forehead. “You are _so_ cute.”

“I-I’m not trying to be cute right now.” Lauren mumbles. “I want you to see me as _hot_. Can you please do that?”

Camila smirks. “So _that’s_ why you’re wearing that outfit. Because you know you look hot in it.”

“Well, I mean, that’s what you told me the first time I wore it,” Lauren murmurs, “but- but anyway. It doesn’t matter.”

“It _does_ ,” Camila kisses her cheek, lingering for a moment and making Lauren shift awkwardly, “because you look absolutely _amazing_. But you don’t have to wear things you’re not comfortable in, because I think you’re hot all the time. Whether you’re in outfits like this, or your cuddly sweaters.”

“I _am_ comfortable in this, I wouldn’t own it if I wasn’t…” Lauren mumbles, “I like crop tops, but I don’t- I’m nervous about wearing them outside because they make me feel exposed. That’s why I wear sweaters all the time, they cover me up so I’m not- I’m not exposed. I don’t like feeling exposed. But I’m comfortable in this now because I’m in my house and I’m with you, I trust you lots, and I know that you like it when I wear clothes that show skin.”

“Well, I think you’re kind of the hottest girl I’ve ever seen either way,” Camila says, and Lauren feels the younger Latina’s eyes sweeping over her, “but I have to admit… I do like it when your abs are on full display.”

“You think I’m hot?” Lauren asks, mostly just for confirmation. “Not cute?”

“I think you’re both,” Lauren feels Camila’s fingers between hers, “not many people can master being both. That’s a pretty amazing thing.”

Lauren blushes. “Good. That’s- that’s good then. Anyway, I think we should put some music on instead of the TV. I would like to put my stim playlist on, if that’s okay.”

“Of course that’s okay,” Camila lets go of her hand as Lauren grabs the speaker she’d brought down before her girlfriend had arrived. “I don’t think I’ve heard your playlist before.”

“No, I mostly just listen to it when I want to feel calm.” Lauren tells her as she plugs her phone in and goes through her music library to find her playlists. She presses _shuffle_ and smiles to herself when the first song comes on. “It’s mostly instrumentals. It’s better to focus on the music when there’s no lyrics.”

Camila hums in reply. “So… now we have calming music, what’s next on your plan?”

“Well… I was thinking we could make a blanket fort.” Lauren proposes, remembering what happened the last time they’d tried. “I figured the couches would make good support for it and we can move things around, as long as they get put back exactly where they were.”

Camila grins. “Seeing the New Year in all cuddled up in a blanket fort? Count me in. Where do we start?”

“Well, um, we could move the couches so they’re at a right angle, in front of the TV so we can see it from inside,” Lauren stands up and starts trying to figure it out. And then we can use a blanket from the cupboard upstairs for the roof, and put a load of pillows inside so it’s all comfy and nice, and then we can cuddle under my special blue blanket and have our drinks.”

“Aye aye, captain Lauren,” Camila gives her a mock salute and stands up. “You’ll be doing most of the work, probably. I’m not very strong.”

Lauren laughs. “What happened to _I could take you in a fight_?”

“Oh, I could,” Camila says, moving around to the other end of the couch and helping Lauren drag it over to the other couch and making them meet in a right angle, the backs of the couch facing towards the TV. “But it wouldn’t be because of my brute strength. I’d just tickle you or give you tummy rubs to subdue you.”

Lauren scowls at her. “That’s just because you know my weaknesses. That’s not fair.”

“Hey, you know mine too!” Camila defends herself as Lauren grabs the pillows off the couch and tosses them in the space they’ve made for their fort. “You’d just have to offer me pizza or bananas and I’d be putty in your hands. Alternatively, you could kiss me. It’d be a fair fight, we’d know each other’s weaknesses.”

“Well… whatever, Camz,” Lauren pouts and turns towards the door. “I’m going to go get the blanket for the roof, and my special blue blanket.”

“Okay, babe,” Camila nods and grabs her drink from the coffee table, taking a sip of it. “I’ll come with you. We need a few more pillows anyway and you’ll need help carrying them.”

“I… yes. Okay,” Lauren nods, and links her fingers with Camila’s, before leading her girlfriend up the stairs. “I know… I know most people would rather be out partying-”

“Don’t bother,” Camila cuts her off and sends her a stern look, “that’s not true. I don’t like parties almost as much as you, and I’d pick you over some _‘epic party’_ any day. You’re fun to be around.”

Lauren beams, thankful that her girlfriend has that opinion, because she knows that Dinah was kind of ecstatic when Lauren had said she wouldn’t be attending Normani’s annual party, because apparently they could invite more people and have the music louder. Lauren tried not to be offended by that, because she knows that people have to accommodate her a lot of the time, but she’d still felt a little upset because she doesn’t want to feel like she’s making her friends have less fun than they would if she wasn’t there.

“Quiet nights in are my thing,” Camila continues when Lauren doesn’t reply, “I mean, when Shawn invited us to that party, I didn’t want to go because I don’t like parties. Not because I was worried about you. Well, part of it was that, but still… I like our nights in and our date nights out. I’m glad you’re not big on parties or going to clubs, because then we probably wouldn’t be as compatible as we are.”

Lauren kisses Camila’s cheek, and ducks into the guest room to grab the pillows from the bed – nobody will be using those anyway - and putting them in her girlfriend’s arms. “I’m glad. That you don’t like parties, I mean. Dinah and Normani love them, and Ally likes them too, and I’ve always been worried that I’m holding them back because I’m not… into that stuff.”

Camila rolls her eyes, “The girls love you. Why do you think Normani keeps her parties to just us? Because she’s your _best friend._ You’re not holding them back, because they do go out to parties. Don’t you watch Dinah’s Snapchat story?”

“I… yeah. Good point,” Lauren replies, grabbing the blankets from the cupboard and heading back downstairs. “Sometimes I wonder what’d be different and what’d be the same, if I wasn’t autistic. I wonder if I’d like parties or not, because you don’t like parties and you’re allistic. It’s weird to think about. It makes my head hurt. Like alternate universes and stuff.”

“I think they exist.” Camila replies, dropping the pillows in the area for the fort and watching as Lauren unfolds the white blanket for the roof. “Alternate universes, I mean. There’s probably some ones that seem super crazy, too. Like, maybe there’s one where I’m a genius who works for the FBI, and you’re… an incredibly hot firewoman who saves me from a burning building.”

Lauren laughs as she tucks the blanket into the backs of both couches, making sure their fort’s roof is perfect. “There’s probably some similar ones to this one too, just with tiny differences. Like… maybe I wear glasses in one.”

Camila snorts as she crawls into the blanket fort and gestures for Lauren to follow. “I like how I create this whole universe where we’re both in different occupations and somehow still meet and fall in love in the face of tragedy, and you’re just like _maybe I wear glasses_. Real creative, Lo.”

“Fine,” Lauren unfolds her blue blanket and joins Camila in the fort, draping it over them both and reaching for their drinks. “Maybe there’s an alternate universe where you’re really annoying. Oh, wait, that’s _this_ universe.”

Camila lets out a mock gasp in offence and gives Lauren a gentle slap on the arm. Lauren can’t help but feel proud that her sarcasm worked well, because sometimes she messes up with it and accidentally upsets people. “ _Lauren Michelle_. You’re such a sarcastic jerk.”

Lauren laughs. “I’m funny.”

“Hell no. _I’m_ the funny one in this relationship, loser,” Camila nudges her playfully, “You should know, you always laugh at my jokes.”

Lauren rubs on her leg, one of her happy stims, and rests her head on Camila’s shoulder. “That’s mostly because I don’t get them, though. None of them really make much sense, I just laugh because it makes you smile.”

“Okay, I take it back,” Camila kisses the tip of her nose. “You’re not a jerk. You’re the sweetest.”

“My joke was still funny though,” Lauren decides, shifting back a little bit and grabbing the TV remote, making sure to open Netflix. She puts an episode of Bob’s Burgers on, because it’s a funny show, and then looks to Camila with her famous puppy dog eyes. She knows they’ll get her what she wants. “Camz…”

Camila eyes her suspiciously. “Yes?”

“Will you- um,” Lauren rubs her blanket between her thumb and forefinger, “tummy rubs?”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Come here.”

Lauren beams, and shifts so she’s sat between Camila’s legs, her head on her girlfriend’s chest. When Camila’s fingers start tracing over her stomach, she smiles and cranes her neck around to kiss her. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Camila easily answers. “So, what’s the agenda for the rest of the night? I know you’ll probably have an incredibly detailed schedule drawn up.”

“Um, well, this is TV time.” Lauren replies, “I’d like to order pizza for dinner - my dad left money on the counter – and then we’re obviously going to kiss at midnight, and we need to save a glass of champagne each for us to have.”

“Well, since it’s eight now, we should probably order the pizza,” Camila points out, “where’s your laptop? We’ll do it online since we both hate phone calls.”

“It’s upstairs,” Lauren replies, crawling out of the fort and stretching, “I’ll go and get it. Do you want pepperoni?”

“Yeah,” Camila nods, “I’m guessing you do too?”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums in reply, “I’ll be right back. You can fill up your drink if you want, you’ve had more than me.”

Camila laughs and shakes her head. “I’m fine for now. I’ll wait for you to finish your first glass.”

“Very chivalrous,” Lauren says, grabbing her glass from the coffee table and quickly downing its contents, because she doesn’t want Camila to go thirsty. “There. Fill them both up now.”

With that, she skips out of the room and up the stairs, in search of her laptop and Nala, looking forward to the rest of the night.

-

A bottle and a half of Prosecco later, Lauren is a little bit drunk.

(Okay, maybe more than a _little_ drunk.)

But, she still knows she’s going to follow through with her plans, no matter how blurry and spinny everything is right now. She’s kind of annoyed, because the little bit of rational thought she has left in her knows she’s going to be hungover tomorrow, and she _hates_ hangovers.

After a few minutes of trying to open the bottle of champagne, she manages it and messily pours out two glasses for them, even though she knows they still have a little bit of Prosecco left in the last bottle that she and Camila had been sharing – they’d kind of abandoned the glasses by the last bottle and started passing it between each other. But, she _always_ has a glass of champagne at midnight on New Year’s Eve, and no matter how drunk she is, she’s not going to break her routine.

“Camzi!” Lauren drags out the last syllable for as long as she can. “I have- have champagne for- for you.”

Camila laughs and gets out of the fort to steady her – not doing too well because she’s staggering a bit herself – taking her glass and putting it down to get back in the fort. Lauren looks at the TV, because she knows it’s midnight soon, and then tries her best to crawl into the fort, leaving her drink on the coffee table.

When she lies down in the fort, Camila wraps her arms around her waist and pulls her in for a hug, attacking her with kisses. “I love you, Lolo lion.”

“Mmm, yes, I’m your Lolo- Lolo lion,” Lauren closes her eyes and smiles, loving the feel of her girlfriend’s lips on her neck. “Did you know- know that li-lions can’t survive in is-isolation?”

“You’re so smart,” Camila mumbles into her pulse point. “You’re a _goddess_ , baby. I love you.”

“Yes,” Lauren mumbles, twisting around to kiss Camila properly, “Lion god-goddess. I’m sorry, mouth- my mouth won’t-won’t work. Stupid mouth.”

Camila lets out a throaty laugh. “Your mouth is working perfectly fine. You’re so good at kissing.”

“No, I-I mean,” Lauren mumbles and frowns to herself, trying to get the words out, “Stuttering. I’m stuttering more than- than usual.”

“Alcohol makes speech slur, right? I don’t fucking know, I’m not an alcohol scientist, babe,” Camila rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder and takes a sip of her champagne. “You’re a cute drunk. A cute, stuttery drunk. Is stuttery even a word?”

Lauren lets out a long hum and shakes her head. “No. It’s not word- a word. I think.”

“I’m fucking making it a word. Fuck the dictionary. I make words now.” Camila laughs into Lauren’s shoulder. “I make words to describe perfect little you. My perfect girlfriend.”

Lauren mumbles incoherently, not even sure what she’s trying to say, and then shifts to look at the TV. “Minute. Nearly midnight, I- I need-”

“Your champagne is there, loser,” Camila laughs, “you forgot it, didn’t you? You’re so cute.”

Lauren blushes and sits up, steadying herself for a moment before carefully picking up her glass. She stares at the TV, her green eyes glassy, and she can feel Camila kissing up her neck and her girlfriend’s fingers locked with hers.

When the countdown hits five, both Lauren and Camila count down along with it, and the second it hits zero, they lean in, sharing a drunken kiss. Camila’s lips taste like alcohol mixed with the strawberries she’d eaten earlier, and her fingernails are scraping Lauren’s back, the older Latina letting out a guttural moan before they pull apart.

Lauren takes a long gulp of champagne, as per routine, and pushes the blanket off the top of their fort, mumbling something about clearing up tomorrow. She offers her hand to Camila and pulls the younger girl up, nearly falling over in the process, and cups her girlfriend’s face, guiding her lips back onto hers.

She feels Camila’s arms wrap around her waist, and this time, her girlfriend pulls away with flushed cheeks and a glint in her eye. “Bedroom?”

Lauren kisses down Camila’s neck and sucks on her pulse point, leaving her mark before answering. “Yes. Bedroom.”

She pulls a giggling Camila upstairs, her stomach tightening with anticipation and she feels that familiar ache between her legs, thankful that she’d planned this anyway – she’s already wearing the lacy blank thong and matching bra that she knows Camila likes – and she leads her girlfriend into her bedroom.

She’s not the one to close the door; Camila does that by pinning Lauren against it and kissing down her neck. Lauren feels her girlfriend sucking on her pulse point and closes her eyes, her fingers toying with the lock on the door before eventually sliding it shut, relocating her hands to Camila’s hair. Lauren’s thumb traces along Camila’s sharp jawline and she bites her girlfriend’s bottom lip before capturing it between her own again.

Camila mumbles out a small, “ _I love you_ ,” before she tugs Lauren over to the pristinely made bed, not caring if she messes up the sheets. “You’re wearing too many clothes. It’s making me sad.”

Lauren sends her girlfriend a relaxed smile. “Take- take them off- off me then.”

“Gladly,” Camila smirks and pulls Lauren’s crop top off, discarding it somewhere else in the room. Lauren’s a little too intoxicated to bother asking her to fold it – she knows she’ll be annoyed by the mess tomorrow, but it’s nothing she can’t clean up later – and fiddles with the hem of Camila’s t-shirt. “Take it off, Lo.”

Lauren does as Camila says and tosses the shirt elsewhere, leaving Camila in the lacy pink bra that Lauren hasn’t seen before. “I like- I like this.”

Camila smiles and kisses Lauren’s jawline, “You’re not the only one who can go lingerie shopping.”

“You- you look hot,” Lauren mumbles, cupping Camila’s face and kissing her, “I love you. You’re- you are the most-most _beautiful_ …”

She trails off, because Camila is kissing her neck again and Lauren’s stomach is performing multiple backflips at once. The older Latina lets her hands wander, and fiddles with the clasp on Camila’s bra, finding it much harder to undo in her intoxicated state. Camila laughs against her and manages to undo Lauren’s bra with ease, tossing it aside.

“S’not that hard,” Camila murmurs, sending Lauren an amused smile, “you’re funny, baby. My funny Lolo lion.”

“I’m- I’m _sexy_ ,” Lauren reiterates, letting out a small moan when Camila cups her breast and runs a thumb over the hardening tip, “ _Oh_.”

Camila laughs against Lauren’s lips. “Sex is so fun with you. You’re my fun Lolo. My fun funny lion.”

It’s Lauren’s turn to laugh as she finally manages to unclasp Camila’s bra. “Fun-fun funny. You can’t say that fast. It’s a- a tongue twister.”

“I could try,” Camila says between kisses, “but there’s other things I’d rather be doing with my tongue.”

“Mhm,” Lauren murmurs into Camila’s neck, “like- like what?”

“Like,” Camila pauses to giggle, “stimulating you orally.”

Lauren laughs along with her. “Don’t- don’t make fun of my chosen- chosen word- _vocabulary_. ‘s rude.”

Camila lets out another laugh that’s similar to a cackle and buries her face in Lauren’s neck, kissing her again. “You’re _funny_.”

“Just kiss me,” Lauren pulls Camila back in and manages to undo the button on her girlfriend’s jeans relatively quickly. “I want to- to do that to you. Please.”

Camila hums in thought, “I don’t know, I kind of like being on top. I like making you feel good. Cause you deserve it for being my Lolo lion.”

“Let me,” Lauren breathes out, pausing to kiss down Camila’s collarbone, “let me make you feel good.”

After a few moments, Camila nods silently and moves to lay back on Lauren’s bed, letting the older girl strip her of her jeans. Lauren hums in contentment, dotting kisses along Camila’s toned stomach and smiling to herself. “Your body- is-is beautiful.”

Camila smiles. “Almost as good as yours.”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head and looks up to Camila with a smile. “Just the- the same. Bet-better even.”

Camila opens her mouth, probably to protest, cuts herself off with a moan when Lauren teases her girlfriend’s centre over the lacy pink panties she’s wearing. _“Lauren.”_

Lauren smiles to herself, happy she’s done well, and moves back up to kiss Camila properly, making sure to move against her just right so her thigh continues to rub against Camila’s clothed core. She smiles to herself when she elicits a throaty moan from her girlfriend again, and she trails kisses from Camila’s mouth to the valley between her breasts, before finally making her way down to her girlfriend’s underwear.

Lauren pulls Camila’s underwear down and dots kisses across her thighs, before final reaching the apex. She hears a sharp intake of breath when she kisses Camila’s centre, teasing her entrance with loving pecks before circling her girlfriend’s clit with her tongue.

Camila lets out a loud gasp and tangles her fingers in Lauren’s hair. “ _Laur_ , fuck, do that again.”

Listening to her girlfriend, Lauren traces three circles around Camila’s clit, getting more confident each time Camila lets out a moan in response, because even though she’s pretty drunk, she likes knowing she’s doing well.

After Camila mumbles out something that Lauren doesn’t quite catch, the older Latina decides to do what Camila always tells her to do, and goes with her instinct. So, she starts sucking on Camila’s clit, tracing the younger Latina’s entrance with her forefinger and starting off slow, gently thrusting it in and out and curling it in all the right places.

“Lo,” Camila mumbles, pushing Lauren’s head down, “another.”

At Camila’s words of direction, Lauren adds another finger and starts thrusting a little faster, already feeling her girlfriend tightening around her. “This is- is this good?”

“So good,” Camila cuts herself off with another moan, her fingernails digging into Lauren’s shoulders. “God, you’re so good, Lo.”

Lauren hums. “Thanks. I use- use _d_ my instinct. Like- like you said.”

“Mmm,” Camila’s fingers dig into Lauren’s back, “Use your mouth.”

Lauren nods and kisses Camila’s clit, tracing circles around it with her tongue and smiling when she hears the loud moan it elicits. She adds another finger and starts thrusting them faster, sucking on Camila’s clit. She can feel her girlfriend tightening around her fingers, and Camila’s nails digging into her back, and with one final thrust and curl of her fingers, Camila is a shaky mess in her arms.

Lauren helps Camila ride out her orgasm, and then moves up to dot kisses around her girlfriend’s cheeks. “Was- was that okay?”

Camila snuggles her face into Lauren’s neck. “That was _amazing_. You’re so perfect. But now it’s your turn.”

While Lauren’s tired from the alcohol and usually would say she’d rather sleep, the older Latina has an ache between her legs that she knows won’t go away until it’s satisfied. “Okay.”

“Lie back,” Camila commands her, and Lauren hums in reply, shifting so she’s on her back, staring up into her girlfriend’s chocolate brown eyes. “Good. I’m going to make you feel good, Lolo lion.”

“Your- your eyes,” Lauren interrupts as Camila starts kissing her neck, “they look like choc- melted chocolate.”

“Thanks, baby,” Camila mumbles against Lauren’s pounding pulse point, her thigh rubbing against her clothed centre. “Yours look like- like emeralds. Beautiful emerald jewels that cost like, a gazillion dollars and are in some museum.”

“Yes, I-” Lauren lets out a whine as Camila starts pulling down the black, lacy thong she’s wearing. “I really- really love you.”

“I know,” Camila murmurs, kissing Lauren’s inner thigh. “I fucking love you too. I more than love you.”

“Yes,” Lauren whimpers, because Camila’s mouth is so close to her, yet so far away, and she buries her hands in her girlfriend’s hair. “Please- please eat out- eat me out.”

Camila just laughs. “You’re super wet for me.”

“ _Camz_ ,” Lauren whines again and tries pushing her girlfriend’s head down, “ _please_.”

“Okay,” Camila laughs, and starts teasing Lauren’s entrance with her forefinger, “because you asked so nicely.”

When Camila’s finger enters her, Lauren bucks her hips upwards, because it’s too little and too slow and she _knows_ Camila is teasing her and she doesn’t like it one bit. _“Camz_ , I need- tongue, please-”

Lauren cuts herself off with a moan when Camila’s tongue comes in contact with her clit, and she screws her eyes shut, her fingers in Camila’s soft hair. Her girlfriend is so good at making her feel good – it’s like she knows more about what Lauren likes than Lauren herself – and Lauren thinks that maybe they should do this more often, because while she likes reserving this for special occasions, she loves feeling as close to Camila as she does now.

Lauren’s fingers run through her girlfriend’s hair, and she feels her girlfriend add another finger and start thrusting faster, her tongue painting masterpieces on Lauren’s clit and making the older Latina whimper, because Camila still isn’t going fast enough and she knows that her girlfriend is trying to prolong her orgasm, but Lauren just wants to let go.

Almost as if she senses that Lauren’s nearly on the edge, Camila stops with her tongue and slows her fingers down, and Lauren whines at the loss of contact to her clit. Then, Camila moves up and kisses Lauren under her ear, and the older Latina shakes her head, because that’s not where she wants Camila’s mouth to be.

Camila kisses her at exactly the same time she curls her finger at just the right place and Lauren lets out a gasp against her mouth, the younger girl taking that as the perfect opportunity to slip her tongue into Lauren’s mouth.

Lauren kisses her girlfriend back desperately, murmuring a small, “ _Faster_ ,” against her lips, and letting out a moan in surprise when Camila’s thumb comes into contact with her clit and starts rubbing circles into the little bundle of nerves.

Camila adds a second finger and starts kissing Lauren’s neck, her thumb rubbing into her clit harder than before, and Lauren whimpers as Camila’s free hand takes her own and squeezes it, because she’s never felt more cared for and loved than she does right now, with Camila making her feel good and giving her comforting, loving kisses at the same time.

Camila curls her fingers inside of her, and Lauren lets out a small cry, before her girlfriend’s thumb presses down on her clit and Lauren falls apart, letting out a loud, “ _Camz_ ,” as she does. Camila’s fingers slow down, bringing Lauren down from her high and the feeling of pure ecstasy that flows through her as her orgasm comes over her in waves.

When Lauren is quivering in Camila’s arms, the younger Latina leans up and kisses her again, but this time it’s softer and gentle. “I love you, Lauren.”

“I love- love you too,” Lauren blinks up at her, green eyes glassy from the alcohol but still managing to be bright when she looks at Camila, “sorry- sorry we were drink- drunk. I plan this- _planned_ , but then… too much Prosecco…”

Camila laughs and cuddles up to her, “We’re going to be like, hungover as fuck tomorrow. But whatever. We’ll take care of each other.”

Lauren hums to herself and rests her head on Camila’s shoulder. “Yes. Good- I’m glad that we- we did that tonight. For New Year and l- for love.”

“Mhm,” Camila hums against her and grabs Lauren’s duvet, pulling it over them both. “You’re like, so good at that, you know. Fucking perfect. Anyway, I want chicken nuggets now. They’re like, my go to drunk food. Let’s go to McDonald’s!”

“We can’t- can’t drive,” Lauren murmurs, “and I’m tried- _tired_.”

Camila rolls her eyes, “You have legs and stuff. You can _walk_. Get off your lazy ass, Lauren Michelle.”

“I will-” Lauren blindly reaches down to the floor beside her bed and picks up her sweater, “Freezer chickens,” she cuts herself off with a laugh, “you’re my- my chicken. My Cam- Camila chicken.”

Camila bursts out into a fit of giggles. “You get to be a mighty lion and I’m a fucking chicken?”

Lauren hums. “Yes. You’re ch- you’re _my_ chicken.”

“Okay then,” Camila gets off the bed and staggers towards Lauren’s door, “I still want some fucking nuggets, though.”

Lauren laughs and throws a t-shirt and Camila’s panties at her – they land about three feet to the girl’s right. “Put those- those on, because my m- my parents are- they’re on their way. Home, because it’s past- New Year happened.”

Camila tugs on the clothes and a pair of sweatpants that Lauren tosses her – the sweatpants end up on backwards – and then helps Lauren put on her Simba onesie. They both have a _lot_ of trouble with the buttons, but they get there eventually, and stagger down the stairs to the kitchen.

Lauren pulls open the freezer door and gets out a bag of frozen dinosaur nuggets, dropping it on a tray. “Put the- the oven on.”

Camila nods and twists the dials on the oven around, somehow managing to preheat it to the right temperature. Then they both try their hardest to rip open the bag of nuggets and put a suitable amount on the baking tray, before Lauren rams the almost empty bag back into the freezer. Once the tray is in the oven, Lauren and Camila sit in front of it and watch their nuggets, making sure they’re okay.

“You’re chivalrous,” Camila collapses into Lauren’s lap and smiles, “chivalrous lion.”

Lauren hums to herself. “I’m a lion.”

“Yes,” Camila tugs on the ears that are stitched onto her Simba onesie. “Lolo lion.”

“The word- _world_ is spinny,” Lauren mumbles, burying her face in Camila’s hair, “you- you smell like strawberries. I l-like those.”

“You smell like coconut,” Camila replies, sitting up and kissing Lauren’s forehead. “I’ve never tried coconuts but you taste good, so… I don’t need to. Fuck coconuts.”

Lauren laughs. “You’d- you’d rather fuck me.”

“That’s _so_ true,” Camila says, pulling Lauren in for another drunken kiss, “because you’re my pretty Lolo lion. I love you so fucking much.”

Lauren smiles to herself and wraps her arms around Camila’s waist, pulling herself onto her girlfriend’s lap. Camila starts rocking them backwards and forwards with a laugh and Lauren smiles, because it’s a fun stim, and she likes that she gets to do things like this with her girlfriend.

She jumps in shock when the kitchen door opens and Mike walks in, but she’s quick to snuggle back into Camila.

“I thought I heard voices,” Mike laughs and nods towards the door, “what happened to the lounge?”

“We, _mmm_ ,” Lauren cuts herself off with a hum, “made a fort. To- to sit in.”

Mike frowns. “And why are you sat on the kitchen floor?”

“Chicken nuggets,” Camila replies for her, “Lolo lion is making me chicken nuggets. She’s so sweet.”

Lauren hugs Camila and kisses the top of her head. “I love you, Camzi.”

Mike rolls his eyes at them. “Both of you need to get to bed. Judging by the three empty Prosecco bottles and the half-drunk champagne, you two have had a little too much fun for tonight.”

“But…” Lauren tries to stand up and nearly topples over, steadying herself on the counter, “our nuggets? We- we need them.”

“ _Lauren Michelle_ ,” Even drunk, Lauren tenses at the words, and Mike laughs at her reaction to Clara’s voice. When her mom walks into the kitchen with the empty bottles, Lauren’s already flushed cheeks turn even redder. “When I gave you these, I didn’t say you could drink it all in one night! You’re usually so responsible!”

Lauren feels Camila use her to stand up, and the older Latina pouts. “Mama, it- it’s New Year’s. Ever- every _one_ gets- gets drunk then. I did- I want to do _normal_ things.”

“’m sorry,” Camila says, holding her hand out to shake Clara’s, “I should’ve stopped drinking to look after her. Look after my lion.”

“That’s okay, Camila,” Clara lets out a sigh, “It’s not your fault, it’s this one’s fault for going overboard.”

Lauren pouts. “Meanie.”

That makes both Clara and Mike crack a smile, and Mike points towards the door. “You two go upstairs and lie down. If you’re not asleep by the time your nuggets are ready, we’ll bring them up for you. No locking your door, Lauren.”

Lauren nods and fiddles with Camila’s fingers. “I- I will not. Promise, papa.”

“Okay,” Mike nods, and both he and Clara are taken off guard when Lauren pulls them both into a group hug while Camila laughs in the doorway.

Lauren pulls away from them, and Clara sends her a small smile. “Go to bed. I hope you look forward to the headaches you’ll get for tomorrow.”

“Goodnight,” Lauren takes Camila’s hand again and nearly trips over her own feet on the way out of the door. “Love- I love you guys.”

When they get up to Lauren’s room, the older Latina pulls her girlfriend down on the bed and smiles, wrapping her arms around Camila’s waist. “I- I had best- the best New Year ever.”

“Yeah,” Camila breathes out a reply and kisses her, and Lauren can still taste the champagne on her lips. “Me too.”

By the time Mike and Clara come up the stairs with two plates full of dinosaur nuggets, Lauren and Camila are passed out in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Camila left and I'm posting this as a cheer up for all of you fellow ot5s out there who are sad af. I'm kind of mad for getting invested in 5h because I only started listening to them for Lauren but then their takeovers won me over and I started to love all of them. I'm upset that Camila is gone but if she's doing this for her happiness then I support her and the other girls 100%. I'm still going to be writing this fic, because Camila's always going to be a part of 5h to me, so I'm not giving up on this.
> 
> Either way first and foremost I am a chicken here to support my proud bisexual Cuban American mother hen Lauren Michelle Jauregui


	57. Chapter 57

So, Camila’s New Year doesn’t start very well.

She figures that it’s going to be amazing at first. She saw the year in with the most amazing person on the planet, and while they were both very drunk, New Year’s Eve had been one of the best nights of 2016.

New Year’s Day was equally as good – both her and Lauren were incredibly hungover, Lauren more than her – and they’d spent the day cuddled up under Lauren’s special blue blanket, watching movies and taking breaks for make out sessions.

(Sure, Lauren complained about having a huge headache all day, but that gave Camila more of an excuse to kiss it better.)

She stayed at Lauren’s for dinner, too, and then Clara dropped her off at home and she spent some time with Sofi, mostly playing hide and seek – she was a little too hungover to play anything more strenuous – and when she’d gone to bed that night, she’d decided that 2017 was already ten times better than 2016.

She wakes up the next day feeling refreshed, and makes plans with Lauren to meet up the next day; she would’ve picked today, but she has plans with Dinah. She gets up, eats her breakfast – even if it _is_ one in the afternoon – and the doorbell rings as she’s putting her bowl away.

Her mom lets her friend in, and spots Dinah taking her shoes off in the hallway. Knowing that her friend can’t see her, she runs up and pounces on her, wrapping her in a koala hug. “Happy New Year, DJ.”

“Get off me,” Dinah pushes her off, “save your affection for Lauser.”

“Oh, she got plenty of affection,” Camila grins, “we had a _great_ New Year’s Eve.”

“I would gag, but honestly, Mani and I did the same thing,” Dinah says, and Camila tries not to smile – even though it’s a little too much info, she’s glad her friends are happy. “Ally would’ve been such a fifth wheel if you guys had come over. Poor little single person.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “How was Mani’s party, anyway?”

“We had so much fun.” Dinah grins. “It got kind of out of control though. Her parents said she could invite like, twenty five people, since usually it’s just me, her, Ally and Lauren, but it ended up being like, over one hundred people there. We had a lot of clean up yesterday.”

“That’s why I’m glad I went to Lauren’s,” Camila replies, “even though all we did was make a blanket fort and get drunk together, we didn’t have any clean up. We came downstairs the next day and Lauren’s parents had put the lounge back to normal.”

“Oh my god,” Dinah stares at her, “you didn’t fuck in the blanket fort, did you?”

Camila turns bright red and splutters out a loud, “No,” before lowering her voice and continuing, “No, we- um, her bed was a better option.”

Dinah snorts, “Rookies.”

“Shut up,” Camila rolls her eyes, “Just because Lauren and I have self-control, unlike you and Normani. I’m surprised her party guests didn’t get an impromptu live porn show.”

Dinah glares at her. “Hey, no, Mani and I can control ourselves.”

“Sure you can,” Camila sarcastically replies, “it’s not like you did it in the middle of the school bathroom or anything.”

“Don’t act like you wouldn’t do things like that too if you weren’t dating Lauren,” Dinah shoves her and pulls her towards the stairs, practically dragging Camila up to her room. “Like, the girl’s had sex with you but she still manages to be the biggest virgin in the world.”

“Leave her alone,” Camila frowns as she flops down on her bed. “She just doesn’t really care about that kind of thing. And while sometimes it’s a little frustrating, it’s not her fault that she doesn’t have much of a sex drive. Some people are just like that.”

“Mani and I were trying to gossip with her about you two a few months ago, and you know what she said when we were asking her about sex?” Dinah doesn’t give Camila a chance to answer, “She literally goes _I want a cheeseburger_ and walks into the kitchen and starts digging around Mani’s freezer.”

“It’s so cute when she does things like that,” Camila gushes, “gets distracted, I mean. But I’m more concerned about the fact that you two were trying to get gossip out of my girlfriend. Shouldn’t you ask _both_ of us about that?”

“No, ‘cause Lauser tells people everything,” Dinah smirks, “like, someone could give her top secret info about where ten billion dollars is hidden, and she’d probably tell you straight away if you offered to watch _The Lion King_ with her.”

Camila laughs. “True. I _wish_ I got paid to watch that movie, because I’d be the richest person alive right now. I swear, I can probably recite the whole thing off by heart.”

“You don’t know how glad Mani was when Lauren started getting really close to you. She literally said _maybe I won’t have to watch The Lion King at least three times a week anymore_.” Dinah says. “We should start a tally and count how much she watches it. Then maybe we’ll stage an intervention.”

“Even though I’d like to watch something different at times, I wouldn’t want to upset her by telling her she watches it too much. She _does_ , but that’s not the point.” Camila says. “It’s one of her special interests and I wouldn’t want to make her feel bad for having them.”

Dinah smiles at her. “That’s a change from you telling me that you couldn’t stand her.”

“I told you that after I’d known her for like, _three days_ , and in those three days, she wouldn’t talk to me and I took it the wrong way.” Camila argues. “I’ve been dating her now for nearly a year and a half. If I couldn’t stand her, our relationship wouldn’t be a thing.”

“Walz, I’m messing with you,” Dinah rolls her eyes, “ _Duh_. But anyways, how are you two?”

“We’re good. Everything is perfect. She’s perfect.” Camila says. “What about you and Mani?”

“Also good,” Dinah teases, “we need to get Ally with someone. I feel bad for her single ass.”

“She says she’s happy being the single mom friend of the group,” Camila points out, quoting Ally from a few months ago. “But if we find someone, I wouldn’t be opposed to a little meddling.”

Dinah rolls her eyes and sits up. “Anyway, put the damn TV on. We need to binge watch something.”

Camila scoffs, and leans forwards to grab her laptop, passing it to Dinah once she opens Netflix, letting her best friend pick the show. Then, they settle down to watch it, Camila laughing at Dinah’s sarcastic commentary throughout.

-

“Allycat, can we watch _The Lion King_ now?” Lauren asks the second the credits to the first movie they’d watch start rolling, holding up the platinum DVD that Camila had bought her; she figured it’d be best to come to Ally’s readily prepared for movie watching. “I- I haven’t watched it yet this year because Camz was over yesterday and I had a really bad headache and the TV hurt to look at.”

Ally laughs and takes the DVD. “Sure, but you still have to talk to me. How was your night with Camila for New Year’s Eve?”

“It was wonderful,” Lauren says, sitting down on the couch and watching as Ally puts the DVD in the player. “I- a lot of it is rather blurry, though. I had a bit too much to drink, which is weird because usually I don’t have that much alcohol since I don’t like hangovers. I remember a lot, but my mom told me she found us trying to make dinosaur shaped nuggets in the kitchen, and I don’t remember that.”

“I haven’t seen you drunk in forever,” Ally replies, sitting down next to her, “the last time was when Dinah and Normani got you drunk when we were hanging out on Halloween a few years ago.”

“Oh, yes, I was really mad at them for that,” Lauren comments, thinking back, “I was upset because I thought Andrea was mad at me, because I didn’t want Manibear’s mom to think that I was a bad influence when really it was all Dinah and Mani’s fault.”

Ally laughs. “You know that parents always love you, Lo. My parents do, they think you’re really responsible.”

“I am!” Lauren is quick to reply. “I am always responsible and I do not support excessive alcohol consumption because it is bad for you.”

“Mhm, yeah,” Ally nods, “alcohol is bad, but according to you, weed is fine.”

“Recreationally, yes. And not in extremely large doses. I do not like harmful substances and I try not to abuse them because it’s easy to become dependent.” Lauren explains, not sure what Ally is really saying. “Weed is less harmful than tobacco, and I only have it in small doses and recreationally. Like, the equivalent of having a glass of wine on a night.”

“I know, Lo, but it’s still pretty funny that you do it,” Ally replies, “because you come off as if you’re so innocent and-”

“I’m a badass,” Lauren interrupts, Camila’s words popping into her head, “that’s what Camz says. I’m a badass because I have had alcohol and weed and- and I swear sometimes. So I’m a badass.”

“Yeah, Laur,” Ally sends her a fond smile, “totally badass. Have you guys heard anything from the colleges you applied to?”

“No, not yet,” Lauren says, “though, I assume we will soon. We’re hoping for NYU, and we’re going to look for an apartment there that allows pets so we can take Dash with us. We’re- we want to go there because we want to be somewhere where it snows in the winter. Also, Camz lived twenty minutes out of the city when she lived in New York and she’d go shopping there and stuff so she kind of knows her way around, which is good because I don’t- I don’t like new places, but it’s not that new to her so she can help me around until I’m used to it.”

Ally nods. “Where else did you apply?”

“Well, we both applied to mostly the same places, or colleges in the same areas,” Lauren explains, “but I picked the University of Miami, because I like home and I’m- I’m worried about being a long way away from everything I’m used to. Also- also Stanford, that was both of our first choices at one point until we changed our minds, and I applied to Yale, but I’m not sure if I’d like to go there, in case people are pretentious.”

Ally laughs. “Well, I’d love it if you both ended up staying here. I know Normani applied to a few schools in California, so she’ll be quite far away next year, and Dinah’s done basically the same.”

“Even if we are all far away, you have your college friends,” Lauren points out; there’s been a few times that Ally had skipped out on their ritual movie nights because she’d been busy with them. “And Skype exits. And we’ll be coming back for the holidays, like Christmas, and I’ll need to come back as regularly as I can because I need familiarity and I will miss my family a lot, and you’re like my family. You’re like my big sister.”

“Lo,” Ally holds out her arms, and Lauren knows that means _come hug me_ , so she shuffles across the couch and cuddles up to her friend. “You’re like my sister too. Same with the other girls, and I’ll miss you all so much. I miss you guys now, not seeing you at school every day like we’re all used to.”

“Dinah joked that I should’ve tutored you the wrong things last year so you’d still be with us,” Lauren says, remembering Dinah’s words from earlier in the school year. “But I think you’d still have graduated anyway, because you’re smart.”

Ally says something in reply, but Lauren’s busy getting herself comfortable, and instead of asking her friend to repeat herself, she just smiles and rests her head on Ally’s shoulder. “I love you, Allycat.”

“Love you too, Lo,” Ally smiles, “your phone just went off, by the way.”

“Oh,” Lauren reaches over to the opposite arm of the couch to grab her phone, frowning when it’s a text from Dinah. “I think… I think I need to go.”

**_DJ (6:38PM): yo lauser you should probably go and check on chancho she just got a rejection letter from a college and shes super torn up about it_ **

**_DJ (6:38PM): she told me to go home and said she wants to be alone but you know how sad she gets when she’s alone and ur the one who knows her best so go talk to her_ **

After reading the texts fully, Lauren shows them to Ally, who nods in understanding. “Okay. I’ll see you soon, alright?”

“Okay,” Lauren makes sure to grab her _Lion King_ DVD before she goes to put her shoes on. “See you soon, Ally.”

-

“Are you okay?”

When she hears the familiar raspy voice from the doorway, Camila spins around. “Lauren. What are you doing here?”

“Dinah texted me and told me that you were really stressed,” Lauren explains, rocking on her heels, “so I thought I’d come over and see if you’re okay.”

Camila lets out a sigh and shrugs, staring down at the rejection letter from Stanford. “I’m fine.”

“She told me- um,” Lauren steps into the room and closes the door behind her. “She told me that you didn’t get into Stanford. Is that true?”

“ _Yes_ , Lauren,” Camila curtly replies, “it’s true. And I’d rather not talk about it.”

“But… but there’s still NYU.” Lauren continues. “And- and I applied there too, and that’s where I’d like to go because it snows in the winter time and-”

“Lauren,” Camila interrupts, “I’m _really_ not in the mood.”

“Oh,” Lauren bites down on her lip and rocks on her heels. “I could cuddle you, if you’d like? Cuddles are nice, I love cuddles and tummy rubs when I’m sad-”

“Not everything can be fucking fixed with fucking _tummy rubs_ ,” Camila snaps, scrunching up the rejection letter and tossing it in the trash. “Grow up, Lauren.”

“I-” Lauren stammers, “I’m just trying to help.”

“Yeah, well, unless you can manipulate time and tell me not to bother opening the fucking letter, then you’re not much good right now.” Camila turns and shakes her head. “I want to be left alone.”

“No, you don’t,” Lauren gingerly sits down next to her on her bed, “you don’t like being alone when you’re sad. I know that.”

Camila huffs. “Really, I’m fine. Just leave me alone.”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head and wraps her arms around Camila’s waist, snuggling her face into her neck. “I will cheer you up. We can watch a movie- _oh!_ I have the _Lion King_ DVD that you got me for Christmas in my car, we could-”

“I’m not watching that stupid fucking movie with you, Lauren,” Camila snaps, pulling away from her, “I just want to be left alone. Why can’t you get that through your head? I’m being pretty fucking clear.”

“It’s not-” Lauren blinks in confusion, “why are you being so mean?”

“I’m not being _mean_ , I’m telling you that I want to be left alone,” Camila lets out an exasperated sigh, “I didn’t _ask_ you to come here, Lauren.”

“I just want to make you feel better,” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, “It’s my job to be a good girlfriend and treat you right and look after you when you’re sad and-”

“For _once_ , can’t you just drop it?” Camila turns to her with a glare and Lauren backs away a little, because the last time someone looked at her like that, she was five and they were towering over her with a burning hot curling iron in their hand. “You did this before. You wouldn’t drop the anxiety thing, you practically _forced_ me to go see a fucking counsellor, and now you won’t leave me alone when I ask.”

“I did all that to help you.” Lauren tries her best to fight back, because she knows that Camila is just angry and she needs calming down. “And that’s what I’m doing now. You’re angry and you’re starting to lash out and you just need to relax and think about happy things, like how you’re going to get into NYU and so will I and we’ll be living in an apartment-”

“That’s nothing more than a fucking pipe dream at this rate,” Camila mutters. “I want to be left alone. Just go away because you’re making things worse.”

Lauren frowns. “I’m sorry-”

“Yeah, that’s your fucking response to everything,” Camila sighs and stands up, “get out, Lauren. I’m not in the damn mood.”

“Don’t just tell me to get out,” Lauren frowns. “I’m trying to be here for you like you would be for me, and-”

“For fuck’s sake, are you _deaf_?” Camila shouts and sends Lauren another glare, stepping around the bed with a look of anger on her face that makes Lauren collapse in on herself and curl up against the wall, shaking her head and preparing herself for the burn. “I don’t want you here right now. _Go away.”_

When Camila grabs at her arm, Lauren pulls it back and jumps up, looking up at Camila with pure terror in her eyes. Camila’s expression softens, and Lauren backs away, inching towards the door. “Lauren… I shouldn’t have-”

But whatever Camila shouldn’t have done, Lauren doesn’t find out, because she darts out of the door and away from Camila as quickly as she can, afraid of getting hurt if she stays any longer.

She waits until she gets home to cry.


	58. Chapter 58

When Lauren wakes up to fifteen text messages and seven missed calls, she’s a little confused, because she never gets that many messages. But then her fight with Camila comes back to her, and she bites down on her lip, shaking her head and trying to get the tears to go away. Her heart hurts and she feels sick, because she’s never fought with Camila before, not like that, and she’s not sure if they’re even still together.

(After that fight, she decides _probably not_.)

She unlocks her phone and checks through her messages, ignoring the ones from Camila because she thinks they’re probably going to be negative and the last thing she wants is to start her day off worse than it already is.

She reads the texts from Dinah, that are mostly just telling her she needs to speak with Camila, but she’s pulled out of her bad mood straight away when the last two messages aren’t about Camila at all.

**_Ashley (11:12AM): hey, sorry if this is really out of the blue but i figured if youre free today we could get coffee and talk about hooking keana and lucy up_ **

**_Ashley (11:12AM): this is Ashley by the way in case you didn’t keep my number_ **

After a few minutes of contemplation, Lauren decides to text back, because she thinks that her plans with Camila for today are probably cancelled because of their fight, and she wants to take her mind off things as best as she can.

**_Lauren (11:37AM): Hello, I am glad you texted, actually. I will meet you at half past twelve at the Starbucks near the park, if you are interested in getting coffee. And yes, I did keep your number. :)_ **

**_Ashley (11:38AM): okay, see you at 12:30_ **

Satisfied that she has plans for the day, Lauren puts her phone on her bedside table and heads downstairs, deciding to get herself a bowl of Cheerios before she goes to get ready. She smiles at her mom when she arrives in the kitchen, and as she’s digging through the cupboards, Clara speaks to her.

“Are you alright?” She asks, and Lauren spins around to look at her in surprise. “You wouldn’t tell me why you were crying last night when you got home, but is everything okay now?”

“I think…” Lauren bites down on her lip and shrugs, “Camz shouted at me and I don’t know if we’re still… if we’re still together. She didn’t say we weren’t, but after that fight…”

“You had a fight?” Clara pats the seat next to her. “Come sit down and talk to me about it.”

“Well,” Lauren grabs her bowl of Cheerios and sits down, absently munching on them between words, “Dinah told me that Camila was upset because she didn’t get into Stanford and I went to comfort her but then she kept telling me to leave her alone but I know that she hates being alone when she’s upset but she kept telling me to go away and I wouldn’t and then she shouted and I got frightened and left.”

Clara squeezes her hand. “I think you two need to talk it out now that you’ve both calmed down. Obviously it’s hard to accept when you don’t get into a school you want to go to, but she shouldn’t have taken it out on you when you were trying to help. But, you love each other. Anyone can see that. So if you talk about what happened, you can resolve it properly.”

Lauren taps on her leg and shrugs. “I don’t want to see her yet. It- it really upset me that she shouted and… if she comes over, please don’t let her in. Not until I’m ready.”

“Alright,” Clara promises, “are you staying in today? We could watch _The Lion King_ if you’d like.”

“Oh, yes, we’ll do that when I get back.” Lauren smiles, because her mom never offers to watch it. She usually just waits until Lauren asks. “I’m going out to get coffee with a friend at half past twelve, but I will be back home not too long after that, so we can watch _The Lion King_ together.”

“Okay,” Clara smiles at her. “Thank you for talking to me about your girl problems, Lauren.”

Lauren frowns. “You asked me to.”

“I know, but I wasn’t sure if you’d be comfortable speaking to me about things like that,” Clara says, and Lauren frowns even more, because obviously she’d be comfortable. She loves her mom. “I didn’t know if-”

“I’ll always tell you things,” Lauren interrupts, wrapping her arms around her mom’s waist and giving her a hug. “You’re my mom and I love you lots. I trust you with everything, especially now that you’re being so good and understanding and not making me do things that make me uncomfortable.”

Clara sends her a smile. “Go and get ready to meet your friend, honey. Which friend is it?”

“Ashley, she goes to my art class,” Lauren explains as she finished off her Cheerios and puts the bowl in the sink. “She’s friends with Keana and we met at the park on Christmas Eve. She’s really nice.”

“As long as you’re sure about that,” Clara says, “what time are you meeting?”

“Um… we’re meeting at Starbucks at twelve thirty.” Lauren replies, “And I’ll be home after I finish my coffee, probably.”

“I’ll pick you up if you want.” Clara offers. “We could have a girl’s day to cheer you up.”

“Oh, yes, I think I’d like that,” Lauren nods and looks up to meet her mom’s gaze. “Thank you for offering. Can- can we still watch _The Lion King_ though?”

“Of course,” Clara says, “I’ll paint your nails for you while we watch it, and we’ll order take out for dinner. Your choice.”

Lauren beams. “I think I would like Chinese, because I really want crispy duck and pancakes.”

“Then we’ll order Chinese,” Clara tells her, “I’ll make your dad go and collect it for us.”

Lauren pulls her mom into a hug before she leaves the kitchen. “I love you, mom. Thanks for being so nice about all of this.”

“I love you too,” Clara replies, and Lauren feels her kiss the top of her head, “go on and get ready. I’ll drop you off at the coffee shop, and text me when you’re done.”

Lauren nods as she heads towards the stairs. “Okay. Thank you, mama.”

She goes up to her room and gets ready, her phone buzzing a few times while she’s picking out what sweater to wear. She reaches over and checks it, frowning when there’s a few texts from Camila and one from Normani. Again, ignoring the ones from Camila, she opens up the text from Normani.

**_Manibear :D (11:57AM): hey lo, camila told me that you two had an argument and apparently you’re ignoring her texts, and I just want to tell you that you don’t have to talk to her until you’re ready, but she really wants to talk to you and probably won’t stop blowing up your phone so it might be best to text her back_ **

**_Laurenza (11:58AM): No, I do not want to talk to her yet, please tell her not to ‘blow up’ my phone too, because I need my phone._ **

**_Manibear :D (11:58AM): on it, I’ll tell her you need space okay? love you_ **

**_Laurenza (11:59AM): Thank you, and I love you too._ **

Thankfully, after Normani’s last message, nothing else comes through from Camila, and Lauren opens and closes their conversation to get rid of the notification, deciding to read over the texts later when she feels better.

Then, she chooses the sweater she’s going to wear and then sits downstairs watching Spongebob until the clock hits 12:20, and informs her mom that she’d like a ride to the coffee shop now. Her mom doesn’t pressure her to talk in the car, and lets her use the aux chord to put her stimming playlist on, so Lauren spends most of the car ride staring out of the window and listening to her music.

She says goodbye to her mom when she reaches the coffee shop and chooses her favourite table by the window – she loves to people watch and make up stories about random people who walk by – and orders a hot chocolate to sip on while she waits for Ashley to show up.

She’s waiting for exactly four minutes and thirty seven seconds until Ashley sits down next to her with a smile. “Hey. Thanks for meeting up with me.”

“It’s okay, I wanted to- to get my mind off things.” Lauren explains, fiddling with her napkin. “And I like making new friends.”

“What did you want to get your mind off of?” Ashley asks, shrugging her jacket off. “Something bad happen?”

“I had a fight with my girlfriend and I’m not…” Lauren sighs as she trails off, “I’m not sure if we’re still together.”

Ashley sends her a sympathetic smile. “It was that bad, huh?”

“Well, I was- I was just really frightened,” Lauren explains, “she was shouting and I don’t- I don’t like loud, it hurts my head and makes me upset.”

“Oh, yeah, um…” Ashley trails off, “you’re autistic, aren’t you? I- uh, heard Keana mention you were and I didn’t know if you care about people knowing or…”

“Oh, I don’t mind it when people know. I used to get upset, but I don’t mind now, because if people are going to be weird about it, then I don’t want them as friends.” Lauren replies, looking out of the window absentmindedly. “Camz was the one who taught me that.”

“You know what?” Ashley grabs her attention again, “I’m going to go grab a latte, and then we can talk about the fight you had with your girlfriend. Okay?”

“Okay.” Lauren nods, thankful that she has an unbiased person to speak to about this.

Maybe things would be alright after all.

-

“I fucked up.”

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific, Walz,” Dinah says as Camila sits down on her bed. “Did you fall over and break something? Because I’m not paying for damages-”

“I shouted at Lauren.”

Dinah’s smile drops from her face. “You _what_?”

“She came over last night and I was already so _angry_ and- and I snapped at her.” Camila sighs and rests her head in her hands. “I’ve tried calling and texting her but she’s not replying to anything. I’ve even texted Mani and asked her to ask Lauren to text me back. Didn’t work. All I got was a response from Mani, telling me that Lauren wants space.”

Dinah frowns at her. “Give her space, then.”

“But I don’t-” Camila shakes her head, “I need to apologise. I feel so guilty-”

Dinah doesn’t stop sending her a look that is way too similar to a glare for Camila’s liking. “I swear to _god_ if you took your anger out on her and called her the ‘r’ word or-”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Camila’s eyes widen, “I’d never call her that. I just… shouted at her. I can’t even really remember what I said, but I know it wasn’t that.”

“Then why is she ignoring you?” Dinah asks. “She only ignores people when they really mess up. Clearly you did _something_.”

“I don’t _know_ ,” Camila huffs. “I don’t know why she’s ignoring me, but it’s not like we’ve ever really fought before. It’s probably that. It’s probably because it’s our first real fight and it scared her.”

Dinah frowns at her again. “Are you _sure_ you didn’t call her-”

“I’m positive,” Camila interrupts, “I _know_ I didn’t. I would never. I just need to talk to her and she’s not responding to anything I send her. Can I borrow your phone and text her?”

“No,” Dinah shakes her head, “you’re going to do what Mani said and you’re going to give her space and the time she needs to calm down and think everything over.”

“How do I know how much time is enough?” Camila asks with a sigh. “ _Please_ just text her and ask her how much time she needs.”

Dinah sighs, but grabs her phone and starts typing something out. Camila tries her hardest to glance over her shoulder and read what Dinah is writing, but fails.

“I asked her if she’s ready to talk to you yet, and if not, when she thinks she’ll be ready.” Dinah says. “But I doubt she even knows. She’s never been through a fight with you before and she’s probably not sure how it works.”

“I just need her to talk to me. She hasn’t opened any of my- _oh_ ,” Camila stares down at her phone screen, her heart dropping to her feet when she sees the _read_ underneath the numerous texts she’d sent to Lauren.

**_Camz <3 (12:57PM): so you’re not answering me then_ **

**_Camz <3 (12:57PM): i really want to give you time and space but it’s so hard because i don’t want to go into the new year fighting with you, you’re my best friend and the only person ive ever loved and ever WILL love and it kills me that you’re not talking to me_ **

**_Camz <3 (12:58PM): i was a bitch and i have no excuse. even if i was angry, i shouldn’t have taken it out on you_ **

**_Camz <3 (12:59PM): please let me know when you’re ready to talk. it’s killing me being apart from you and to know that i made you upset. i love you so much and when you’re ready i’ll be here._ **

Her messages switch from delivered to _read_ almost instantly, and Camila waits for that little bubble that indicates Lauren’s typing to come up, but it never does.

“God, China, I fucked up so much,” Camila knows she’s crying and she hates herself even more for it. She doesn’t deserve to cry over this. She’s the one in the wrong and it’s her fault, but she can’t stop the tears from coming, and it makes her feel ten times guiltier. “She’s so amazing to me and I just threw it all back in her face. You know what I said? I told her that she pushed me into doing things like go to a counsellor for my anxiety but in reality I appreciate her for doing that because it its own way, it helped. And now my girlfriend won’t talk to me.”

Dinah sighs. “You know what, screw this. Go to her place. Talk to her. If you really love her, you’ll fight for her.”

Camila nods. “Can you drive me?”

“Sure, Walz,” Dinah reaches onto her bedside table and grabs her keys, “and look, I know I wasn’t very supportive at first because I’m kind of protective over Lauren – I have been since I met her – but you’re my best friend and I want to see your side of the story. Plus, this whole thing might be my fault… after you kicked me out yesterday, I texted her and told her you were upset and that she’d probably cheer you up if she talked to you.”

“Oh,” Camila frowns at Dinah’s words. “Well… I don’t blame you. Usually Lauren is good at cheering me up, but if I wanted her there, I would’ve texted her myself. I really needed alone time and she wouldn’t leave when I asked and everything I was feeling just sort of bubbled up to the surface, you know?”

“I get it,” Dinah says as she pulls her shoes on, “sometimes we get mad and take it out on the people around us. And then we kind of forget that it makes you feel like shit later.”

“Exactly. That’s exactly how I feel right now.” Camila replies as she follows Dinah towards the car. She practically deflates as she sits down in the car. “I’m an awful human being.”

“Don’t say that,” Dinah tries comforting her, “it’s okay. We all fuck up sometimes and that’s what makes us human.”

“I don’t want to be human if it feels like this,” Camila sighs, “I- I just want to give my Lolo lion a hug and feel like everything is okay. I don’t even fucking care about Stanford anymore, because Lauren’s right. We’re both going to go to NYU and just… be happy together. That’s all I want, to be happy with her.”

Dinah lets out a mock gag. “That was fucking cheesy. You’re too much, Walz.”

Thankful that her best friend is trying to joke, she lets out a rather forced, watery laugh. “Yeah. Kind of cheesy, I guess. I wish I didn’t let my temper get the best of me but it happens sometimes. Like, one time I shouted at my little sister when my phone charger broke and it had nothing to do with her. She was just there and the charger was the tip of the iceberg and I snapped.”

“Like I said, mistakes like that make us human. As long as you don’t shout at people usually when your phone charger breaks, I think you’re okay.” Dinah replies. “I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve blown up at people I care about for stupid things. When I was younger, my mom and I would fight all the time.”

“Still, Lauren and I never fight,” Camila weakly argues, “we’ve been dating for over a year and we’ve never fought.”

“Then I guess it was just waiting to happen,” Dinah replies, “couples fight, Mila. Mani and I fought like, two days ago, and we’re fine. Just like you and Lauren will be. You two dorks are like, soulmates. You’ll be _fine_.”

“What if we’re not?” Camila asks. “What if she doesn’t want to see me? What if she tells me it’s over and-”

“She _won’t_.” Dinah is quick to assure her. “Lauren is completely head over heels for you and one little fight won’t change that.”

“At least school starts back up in a few days,” Camila tries reasoning, mostly to herself, “even if she won’t talk to me now, she has to talk to me there. I’m her partner in a bunch of different classes…”

“Also, she’s kind of in love with you and will be rambling on about how you guys are going to grow old together like two crazy cat ladies,” Dinah points out, “so she wouldn’t be able to completely blank you. Yeah, she’s good at that, but it’s different with you. She’s always different with you.”

Camila frowns. “She is?”

“Yeah,” Dinah says like it’s obvious, “She’s more… open. Even more than she is around me and the other girls, who have known her since third grade. I think it’s mostly because of how much she loves you, she knows that she can be unapologetically herself. She never has to hold back anything, because you’ve seen every part of her – physically and emotionally – so she’s not scared to be open.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “That was… surprisingly deep.”

“Yeah, well, I can be wise when I want,” Dinah shrugs and sends her a smile as she pulls up. “I’ll wait here. Go in and get your girl.”

Camila sucks in a deep breath as she unbuckles her seatbelt, and repeats as many words of encouragement as she can think of to herself as she gets out of the car and walks up Lauren’s driveway with her head held high.

She knocks on the door and smiles politely at Clara when she answers. “Hi, Clara. Is Lauren here? I really need to talk to her.”

“No, she’s out with a friend,” Clara replies, and Camila frowns, because Ally’s busy with college friends and Normani is with family. “It’s probably best if you don’t come over for a while.”

The words don’t register in Camila’s head straight away. “Which friend is she with?”

“Ashley, from her art class,” Clara says, and Camila tries to think back to any time Lauren’s mentioned an Ashley. She can’t think of any. “She won’t be back for a while, and she’s explained that you two have had a fight.”

“Yeah, I really need to see her. I want to talk to her and apologise,” Camila explains. “What time will she be back?”

“She doesn’t want to see you, Camila,” Clara sends her a sympathetic smile, “give her some space to think and I’m sure she’ll let you know when she’s ready to talk.”

Camila feels tears stinging at her eyes again, but the last thing she wants to do is cry in front of Lauren’s mom. “Oh. Well, um, can you tell her that I love her and that I’m sorry, please?”

“Of course,” Clara nods as Camila turns around, “goodbye.”

The second Camila gets back into Dinah’s car, she slams the door behind her and squeezes her eyes shut, trying to stop the tears. It doesn’t work.

She cries all the way back to Dinah’s house, her heart aching in her chest.


	59. Chapter 59

Lauren burrows herself further under her special blue blanket when she hears a knock on the door. “Mom, I’m alright. I’d like to stay in the quiet, please. You don’t need to keep checking up on me.”

She bites down on her lip when she hears the door open, because her mom has been checking on her rather consistently for the past week. Since school started this week, she’s been pretending to be sick, so Lauren hasn’t left her house and therefore hasn’t seen Camila, and she’s given her parents instruction not to let her in, because she’s upset that she shouted and she’s pretty sure that they’ve broken up now, and it’d hurt her a lot to see Camila again.

She feels a hand touch her blanket and shakes her head, pulling Nala up to her chest. “Mom. Don’t grab at my blanket, please.”

“I’m not your mom.”

At the familiar voice, Lauren’s breath catches in her throat and she feels tears pricking at her eyes. She peeks out from under her blanket and her eyes widen when she sees that _yes_ , Camila is actually there and not some kind of weird hallucination.

“Why are you here?” Lauren wipes at her eyes again. “I told my parents not to let you in.”

“I- I know,” Camila looks anywhere but at Lauren, “I came over every day to see if you’d talk to me. I think your mom felt bad for me… she gave me half an hour.”

Lauren frowns and pulls her blanket closer to her. “Why are you here? It doesn’t make sense, why would you come over if we’re broken up?”

Camila blinks in surprise. “We’re- we’re not broken up. Unless- are you breaking up with me?”

“We’re not?” Lauren rubs the material of her blanket between her thumb and forefinger. “But- but you shouted at me and wanted me to leave…”

“But we’re not- Lauren, I’d never break up with you,” Camila stares down at her with wide eyes. “I _love_ you. And I’m so sorry for the other night, I was so angry and like you said, took it out on the first person I could, but that’s not an excuse. I never should’ve shouted and I feel so guilty about it.”

“I- it’s okay,” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip. “I should’ve left you alone when you asked instead of pushing you. It’s my fault too. But- but I thought we were broken up and I needed time away from you because it would’ve upset me to see you.”

“ _God_ , no. I tried calling you so much but your phone was always on do not disturb, and every time I came over, your parents wouldn’t let me in.” Camila shakes her head. “We had a _fight_ , but we didn’t break up. I’m in love with you and one little argument isn’t going to change that.”

“I’m sorry I thought we were broken up.” Lauren mumbles. “That’s why I wouldn’t let you in. Because I didn’t want to see you for a while if- if we were done.”

“It’s okay. Can I… can I touch you, Lolo?” Camila asks, holding out a cautious hand. “Just- just to play with your hair. If that’s okay with you.”

Lauren stares at her for a moment before nodding. “Okay.”

Camila starts brushing Lauren’s hair back from her forehead. “You- when we were fighting… you were frightened of me.”

“Yes, because you were shouting and that’s loud.” Lauren replies, closing her eyes and fiddling with Nala as Camila plays with her hair. “I don’t like loud.”

After a few seconds silence, Camila kisses Lauren’s forehead. “I’d never leave you, Lo. And I’m so sorry for shouting and saying things I didn’t mean.”

Lauren hums in thought. “I know that. I was just frightened because- because you were shouting and- and it reminded me of when my mom would get mad at me and take away my stimmy things or when my aunt-”

“I reminded you of _her_?”

Not picking up on the crack in Camila’s voice, Lauren shakes her head. “Well, um- I mean… a little. She always shouted at me and I never- I never knew what I did wrong, and I didn’t know what I’d done wrong the other night, either. And- and when you glared at me you looked- you looked like she did. When she hurt me.”

“Lauren, I _love_ you,” Camila leans down and dots kisses across Lauren’s cheeks, “I’d never hurt you and you did nothing wrong. You were trying your best to be a good girlfriend and I’m sorry I pushed you away.”

“I _know_ ,” Lauren sits up and cautiously takes one of Camila’s hands, “I- I guess it was like, a subconscious thing. Because when someone last spoke to me in that way… they ended up hurting me and I- I was only five and I didn’t know what I did wrong and I _still_ don’t and-”

“I’m so sorry, Lauren,” Camila cups her face and doesn’t push Lauren to make eye contact, kissing her forehead. “The last thing I wanted was to remind you of… of that. Why didn’t you tell me that’s how you felt? I tried to get in touch but everyone kept telling me to give you space. You could’ve called and we could’ve talked this out sooner.”

“I did not want to talk to you,” Lauren murmurs, “I don’t like to talk to people when I’m upset with them, and I was upset with you because I thought we were broken up, so I didn’t want to talk to you. I- I didn’t read any of your texts, just opened them to get rid of the notification, because- because I thought they’d be negative since- since everyone talks bad about their exes.”

“Lolo, baby, we’re not broken up unless one of us says so directly,” Camila moves so she’s laid on Lauren’s bed next to her, and slowly moves her hands down under Lauren’s blanket, gently tracing patterns on her girlfriend’s bare tummy. “We’re going to fight. Fighting comes with the territory of being in a relationship. But just because we argue sometimes, doesn’t mean we’re breaking up.”

“I- I… I didn’t think-” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and shrugs. “You told me to go away, and I thought maybe you meant… like, forever.”

“No, oh my god, Lolo,” Camila wraps her arms around Lauren and pulls her in for a hug. Lauren feels butterflies when her girlfriend gives her tummy rubs without her even having to _ask_. “No, I never- I want you to stay with me forever. Even if one of us is mad sometimes and one of us screws up, we’ll always find a way back to each other. You’re my soulmate, Lo. That’s what soulmates do.”

“I,” Lauren wriggles in Camila’s grip and shifts so she can kiss her girlfriend, “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you until now. I will have to thank my mom for letting you in. Anyway, would you like to go on a date? To make up for the past week?”

“Okay, first off, you have nothing to apologise for,” Camila is quick to tell her, “and secondly, I’d love an impromptu date. But _I’m_ paying.”

“I- no, but-” When Camila sends her a stern look, Lauren cuts herself off with a blush. “We’re going halfsies.”

Camila doesn’t relent. “No. This is part of my apology.”

“Um…” Lauren shifts under her covers. “I- I’d like to get dressed now so we can leave.”

Camila snorts with laughter. “You’re naked, aren’t you? Honestly, I wasn’t surprised when your tummy was bare.”

“I- _no_ ,” Lauren mumbles, and Camila can easily tell she’s lying; Lauren knows she sucks at that. “Okay, fine, yes, but I don’t like wearing clothes a lot of the time because most materials are scratchy. Especially bras, I _hate_ those, and jeans aren’t very nice either. I love my sweaters, but I get too hot under my blanket with one on, so I don’t wear anything, I might as well be comfortable. I have my favourite socks on though, they’re fuzzy and have lions on.”

“So… you’re wearing nothing but socks?” Camila raises an eyebrow and laughs when Lauren nods in confirmation. “Alright then. Sounds comfy.”

Lauren hums to herself. “I would like to get dressed, can you move?”

Camila smirks. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“I know, I wasn’t asking you to leave, you’re lying on top of my blanket so I can’t get out of it.” Lauren says, wriggling for emphasis. “See? I’m trapped.”

“Oh,” Camila shifts and she watches as Lauren gets out from under the duvet and tugs on her underwear, walks over to her wardrobe, and picks out a sweater and a pair of black, ripped jeans. She pulls them on, and not bothering to brush her hair, turns and sends Camila a bright smile.

“I am ready.” Lauren rocks on her heels and gestures towards the door. “Are we going to go?”

Camila pulls Lauren in for a kiss. “You’re so beautiful, Lo. I love your body.”

“Oh,” Lauren blinks in surprise, and then beams at her, “thanks! Did you like watching me get dressed?”

“I’d rather watch you get _un_ dressed, but whatever,” Camila sends her a teasing smile, “let’s go out. We could go swimming or something, if you want. There’s a waterpark-”

“I’m not very good at swimming,” Lauren interrupts. “Can we go for something to eat? We could- we could drive down to the beach and get ice cream. I like ice cream.”

“You’re like, _addicted_ to ice cream,” Camila rolls her eyes and takes Lauren’s hand. “But let’s go. Your triple scoop strawberry ice cream awaits.”

Lauren smiles as Camila walks them out of her room and downstairs. “Can I have two, please?”

Camila laughs. “Sure. But I’d still like to talk things over. I haven’t explained myself and buying you ice cream isn’t a good enough apology for me.”

“Um… okay then.” Lauren says, diverting their path to the living room to talk to her mom. “Mama, Camz and I are going out for ice cream and talking. We will be back around- Camz, when will we be back?”

“When we finish the ice cream and talking,” Camila replies, “we shouldn’t be more than an hour and a half.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods and pulls her shoes on. “Can I bring Nala?”

“Of course you can, Lo. Run upstairs and get her, I’ll wait here.” Camila says. Lauren makes sure to kiss her girlfriend before going up to grab her stuffed lion, because she’d really missed doing that, and makes sure to grab her phone – hopefully Camila would let her play some music through the aux cord.

When she makes her way back downstairs, she pounces on Camila and pulls her in for a big hug. “I really missed you.”

“I know how you feel,” Camila murmurs against her, “I missed my Lolo lion so much.”

Lauren’s stomach flips. “Yes. I love it when you call me that.”

Camila pulls away and flashes her a smile. “Come on. Let’s head off to the beach. We can sit in the ice cream parlour and talk, okay?””

“Okay,” Lauren agrees, not sure what exactly Camila is going to address.

They spend most of the car ride in silence, Lauren humming along to her music, as she’d hijacked Camila’s aux cord and put on her ‘favourites’ playlist. When they find a parking space on the beach, Lauren holds Camila’s hand as they walk to the ice cream parlour.

She doesn’t expect to run into Ashley on the way there. “Hello, Ashley!”

“Oh, Lauren,” Ashley looks up from her phone and sends her a smile. Out of the corner of her eye, Lauren can see Camila frowning, but she doesn’t know why. “Who’s this?”

“This is Camila,” Lauren says, glancing over to her girlfriend with a smile. “Camila, this is Ashley.”

Camila’s frown stays put. “Nice to meet you. I’m Lauren’s girlfriend.”

“Nice to meet you too. She’s told me a lot about you,” Ashley replies, “so, you guys made up, I see. I told you things would work out, didn’t I?”

“Yes,” Lauren bobs her head in affirmative, happy that Ashley’s words had rung true. “Anyway, we’re going to go and get ice cream now. Camz is buying me _two_ triple scoop cones.”

“That’s cool,” Ashley smiles, “see you in art class, Lauren.”

“Bye,” Lauren grins back and pulls Camila towards the ice cream shop, excited to get her strawberry ice cream. “That was Ashley. She’s super nice, she’s friends with Keana and we’re trying to hook Keana and Lucy up. I- I spoke with her about our fight and she gave me advice, because I wasn’t sure if we were broken up or not and she told me we probably weren’t but I wasn’t sure.”

“Well… glad you made a new friend, Lolo.” Camila squeezes her hand, although she’s still frowning, and Lauren doesn’t really know why. She’s about to ask, but Camila’s expression brightens as they enter the ice cream parlour. “Triple scoop strawberry ice cream?”

“Yes please,” Lauren kisses her girlfriend’s cheek, “I’ll go find a table.”

It doesn’t take her long to find a seat – the ice cream shop isn’t very busy – and Camila doesn’t take too long getting the ice creams. She brings Lauren her first cone and promises she’ll buy her a second one when she finishes.

Then, the younger girl clears her throat. “Are you ready to talk?”

Lauren hums in thought and starts on her ice cream. “What are we going to talk about?”

Camila looks over at her with a frown. “Our fight?”

“Oh,” Lauren nods, “but we already talked about that at my house.”

“We need to talk about it more, Lo. To make sure that it doesn’t happen again.” Camila explains. “I’m going to tell you my side – why I was so upset and why I shouted. Because you shouldn’t forgive me until I give you a proper explanation.”

Lauren taps out a pattern on the table. “But I already forgave you.”

“Well, take it back,” Camila tells her, “you can’t forgive me until I tell you everything. You’re- you’re too forgiving, Lo, and I can’t let you just forgive me after a few kisses. That doesn’t make what I said better.”

“Oh,” Lauren takes in Camila’s words and frowns. “But… it should be my decision if I forgive you or not, and I do. And- and I hope you forgive me for-”

Camila interrupts her, “You don’t _have_ anything to apologise for-”

“I’m _talking_ ,” Lauren cuts her off, standing up for herself, “You were right. I pushed you. You wanted to be left alone and I should’ve respected that. That doesn’t make the things you said okay, but I’m partially at fault too.”

“You don’t push me,” Camila tells her, “you’re respectful and you’re right, usually I don’t like being alone when I’m upset, so I understand why you-”

“That doesn’t make it okay,” Lauren interjects, “I’m not apologising for making you see the counsellor. You needed that. But I’m apologising for not leaving when you asked. I’d like it if you didn’t try to invalidate that. We’re both at fault and you need to stop blaming yourself for everything.”

Camila shakes her head. “You don’t-”

“I’m not saying that it makes the mean things you said okay!” Lauren exasperatedly replies. “I’m just saying that I should’ve respected that you wanted to be alone. That’s _all_ I’m saying, why can’t you just accept that and forgive me?”

“I- I do,” Camila replies, and Lauren smiles, because that’s all she wanted. “And you’re right. That doesn’t justify all of the awful things I said, and promise you I didn’t mean them. I was upset and I lashed out at you, and there’s no excuse.”

Lauren hums. “You don’t think I need to grow up?”

“No,” Camila is quick to reply, “god, Lauren, I’d watch _The Lion King_ every day for the rest of my life if it meant I’d get to be with you.”

Lauren smiles. “Good. I think- I think we’ve spoken about it enough. We can forgive each other and move forwards.”

“As long as you’re one hundred percent sure that you forgive me.” Camila is quick to reply. “You have to be sure, Lo.”

“I am,” Lauren nods, “I love you, and I know- I know you were just angry and lashing out and that… that was partially my fault for not leaving you alone. But we’re okay, because… because we forgive each other.”

“I thought…” Camila sighs. “I thought that if I committed another _crime of passion_ we were done.”

Lauren frowns. “But you didn’t? You didn’t call me the ‘f’ word or the ‘r’ word. If you did then- then that’d be… be a _crime of passion_ and you’d- it’d be your second strike. Three strikes and you’re out. But you didn’t call me bad words. So you’re only on your first strike and that- that strike was ages ago. Before we even started dating. It’s more complicated now.”

“Oh,” Camila still doesn’t look very happy, “I still feel bad about it. I put you down for liking tummy rubs when in reality I think it’s the cutest thing.”

Lauren shrugs. “You didn’t mean that. I- I can tell, because you’re so nice about it all the time, and one bad mood doesn’t change all of the wonderful things you do for me. You love me for me, and you were angry and trying to upset me so you said things you thought would be hurtful. Doesn’t mean they’re true, though.”

“They’re not,” Camila assures her, but Lauren’s a little more focused on finishing her ice cream, because the conversation is getting rather boring since it feels like they’ve gone over everything. “I promise you that.”

“I know,” Lauren nods, finishing off her ice cream, “can you buy me my second cone now, please? Triple scoop strawberry?”

“Of course,” Camila stands up, but stops before heading back to the counter. “You know I’m really, really sorry about everything, right?”

Lauren sighs. “ _Camz_. I know. I just really want ice cream right now and I think we’ve talked about everything so I don’t see why we can’t just move past this.”

Thankfully, Camila smiles, and Lauren beams back. “Lo? Can I give you a hug?”

Lauren nods. “Yes, if you’re going to get me my ice cream straight after.”

Camila pulls her in for a hug, and Lauren giggles when she whispers, “I’m going to send you to ICAA. Ice cream addicts anonymous.”

Lauren wriggles out of her grip and pouts. “It’s only ice cream. Like you said ages ago, I _could_ be addicted to meth. But I’m not, just ice cream.”

“You’re right,” Camila brushes Lauren’s hair back and kisses her forehead, “I’ll go and get you another ice cream. But I’m not buying you a third one, because I don’t want you to puke all over me when we’re watching _The Lion King_ all cuddled up under your blanket later.”

Lauren beams. “We can do that?”

“Yeah,” Camila squeezes her hand, “It’s on the plan for today, duh. We’re going to do all of your favourite things. First this, then we’ll watch _The Lion King_ , and then we’ll have pepperoni pizzas with three pepperonis on each slice for dinner, and then we’ll watch _The Lion King 2_.”

Lauren smiles and bounces herself on her chair, one of her happy stims. “Good. I am glad that- that we have made up, because I missed you lots.”

“I missed you _so_ much, Laur,” Camila promises her, “Dinah can confirm that. And Ally. And Mani. When you wouldn’t reply to me, I kept texting them to ask if they’d text you to tell you to talk to me. Mani flat out told me no and said you needed space, Ally said something along the same lines except a little more sympathetic, and Dinah just made fun of me in an attempt to cheer me up. Didn’t work.”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip. “Well… everything is okay now. We- we have each other again and it’s all- it’s all okay. And we’re going to have a great day today, I know it.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Camila says, “I’m going to go get your second ice cream now. The guy at the counter probably thinks I’m ordering them all for myself. Though, I did go through a lot of Ben & Jerry’s this week, so it’s probably not that unrealistic.”

“Ooh, I love Ben & Jerry’s,” Lauren replies, “which flavours did you get? I- my favourite is half baked, because it’s like half chocolate brownie and half cookie dough, and those two are my favourite flavours. Also- also, I like Phish Food, though, I can’t eat a lot of it at once or I feel sick.”

“Mostly cookie dough,” Camila replies, “Dinah was the one supplying them to me. I ate an excessive amount on Monday night when you weren’t at school though. I thought I’d get a chance to speak to you there, but you didn’t show.”

“I- um, I pretended to be sick.” Lauren admits, cheeks bright red, “I emailed all of my teachers about the work, though, so I’m still up to date. We should- on the way back we should stop by the grocery store and find the weirdest Ben & Jerry’s flavour we can and try it. Or- or the least popular flavour.”

“I would say that’d be a good experiment, but Banana Split is considered to be one of the least popular ones, and that’s one of my favourites,” Camila points out, “anyway, I’ll be right back. You need your second ice cream.”

Lauren watches her go to the counter with a smile.


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of you might want to skip this one. Trigger warnings for neglect and child abuse. (flashback.)

_“Lauren, honey, your papi and I are going away for a few days,” Lauren hears her mom’s voice and glances in the general direction, not sure what her mom means. Why are they going away? “We’ll be back home on Sunday night, okay?”_

_“Mami,” Lauren mumbles, not sure how to get the words out. She really tries her hardest to talk, it’s just confusing and the words all get jumbled up in her head, “no, mami.”_

_Clara laughs a little, and Lauren toddles over to her mother, watching with fascination as her mom packs up a backpack with enough clothes for the weekend. “We’re dropping you off at your aunt’s for the weekend. She’ll look after you and Chris and Taylor while your papi and I are celebrating our anniversary.”_

_“No,” Lauren shakes her head and stares up at her mom with wide eyes, because she really doesn’t want to stay with her aunt for the weekend. Her aunt is scary and mean and she doesn’t want to stay there. “No, mami. No ‘tay.”_

_Clara smiles at her. “I know you’ll miss me and your papi a lot, but you can’t stay here by yourself. Who’d do all the cooking?”_

_Lauren stares up at her. “’buela!”_

_“Your abuela’s busy this weekend,” Clara says, zipping up the backpack, “but your aunt offered, so you can stay with her. She has two guest rooms, so you and Chris will have a room each, and baby Tay will go in with her.”_

_“No,” Lauren whines and rocks herself on her heels, “want ‘buela.”_

_“Lauren,” Clara lets out an exasperated sigh, “don’t ruin mine and your father’s weekend. Don’t be whiney about this. You’re staying at your aunt’s for the next few days and that’s final.”_

_Lauren tugs at her shirt, because she’s frustrated and feels really closed in, and she decides that she’s mad at her mom, so she’s not going to talk to her for the rest of the night. Maybe that way, she won’t leave her with her aunt, because her aunt is scary._

_Lauren wails when her mom picks her up, because she absolutely hates it when she does that, but she always does it anyway. She doesn’t like being grabbed, so she wriggles to get away, and when she’s finally free, toddles back into her room and gets her Nala, cuddling up to her._

_“Lauren, don’t be difficult,” Clara sighs, “we need to set off.”_

_“No,” Lauren shakes her head, because she wants to stay with her abuela. Not her aunt. Her aunt is scary. “No.”_

_Clara huffs and pulls Nala from her arms, and Lauren whimpers, because she needs her Nala. Nala makes her feel safe. “Come on, we’re going. You’ll get Nala back if you get in the car without a fuss.”_

_Lauren jumps up, because she wants her Nala back, and follows Clara into the hallway. She lets her mom put her shoes on her, and follows her out to the car, letting her strap her in. She’s quiet on the way to her aunt’s, and her mom lets her have Nala to cuddle, and she really hopes that her parents will change their minds before leaving her._

_When they get to her aunt’s house, Lauren notices that she stares at her funny, but she doesn’t know what it means. She forgets about it when her mom shows her to the guest room as her dad goes into her aunt’s room to get Taylor’s travel cot set up, and it has a huge bed that’s almost the same size as her parents’._

_She really doesn’t want to stay here, but that bed looks really comfy._

_“I want you to be good for your aunt, Lauren,” Clara tells her, “no being fussy. If she tells you to do something, no fussing. I’ve told her about a few of your… quirks, but I don’t want you causing any unnecessary trouble. Okay?”_

_Lauren doesn’t meet her mom’s gaze, and plays with Nala’s ear. She nods her head, because she wants her mom to be proud of her. Maybe then her mom won’t sigh all the time and look really sad when she looks at her._

_“Good girl,” Clara says, and Lauren beams, because her mom almost never calls her a good girl. “Your papi and I will be back on Sunday night. Look after your brother and sister.”_

_“’es,” Lauren bobs her head in reply, “mami.”_

_Clara brushes her hair back and kisses her forehead. “I’ll be back before you know it.”_

_Lauren hums in reply. “’good- ‘oodbye, mami.”_

_“Goodbye, Lauren. Be good.”_

_With that, her mom leaves, and after a few murmured words outside the door, Lauren hears more goodbyes and then the front door closes. She hears the car restarting in the driveway, and knows that her parents have gone._

_She’s alone for a few moments, and she hears the TV switch on in the lounge – the familiar sound of Power Rangers, Chris’ favourite TV show – before there’s a shadow blocking the light in the door frame, and she looks up to see her aunt._

_Lauren blinks up at her in surprise, but doesn’t say anything, because she doesn’t know what her aunt wants. Her mami had left her in here, so she thought that she was going to go to bed straight away. She’d rather do that than spend time with her aunt._

_Her aunt walks forwards and grabs her by the collar of her shirt, pulling her out of the room and grabbing the backpack her mom had packed for her. “If you think you’re sleeping on that bed, you’ve got another thing coming. You’re sleeping on the floor. I don’t want you getting whatever fucked up genes you have on my stuff. The last thing we want is for you to infect anyone.”_

_Lauren squirms in her grip, not sure what she means. Why would she get anything on the bed? She’s good, she always makes sure not to spill things on her covers at home because she likes them nice and clean, and she makes her bed every morning._

_She doesn’t get a chance to reply, though, because her aunt lets go of her shirt and she lands on the floor, her shoulder hitting the wall. She cries out, and her aunt scoffs. “Don’t be so pathetic. Get in the lounge and watch TV like a normal fucking kid.”_

_At her aunt’s words, Lauren grabs Nala, who had fallen out of her hands, and scampers into the front room, sitting on the couch next to her brother. She doesn’t like watching Power Rangers, and Chris always puts the volume up too high, which gives her a headache._

_She really, really wishes her parents would come back and get her._

_After two episodes of Power Rangers and their aunt putting Taylor down to sleep, she and Chris are called for dinner. Lauren notes that her portion is significantly smaller than Chris’, but she’s more bothered about the fact that her foods are touching, and she_ can’t _eat it if her foods have touched on her plate. Also, there’s carrots, and she doesn’t want to eat carrots, because they’re orange, and orange is bad._

_She opens her mouth to try and explain that to her aunt as best as she can, but when she opens her mouth, her aunt sends her a threatening look, and she closes her mouth and eats the fries that haven’t touched anything else._

_She’s still hungry when her aunt takes her plate away, but she doesn’t say anything, because her aunt keeps glaring at her, and she knows that’s a bad thing, but she doesn’t know what she’s done and she doesn’t want to make it worse._

_Her aunt lets Chris pick the movie they watch, which makes Lauren sad, because she’d hoped they could watch_ The Lion King _, but he chooses some boring action movie. Then, her aunt leads him out of the room and helps him get ready for bed with a smile._

_Lauren really wishes her aunt would look at her like that, but she can’t think of a time her aunt has ever smiled at her. She’s seen old home movies of when she was a baby and her aunt held her and smiled at her and called her perfect, but she can’t remember that. In her five years of life, all she can remember is her aunt being mean to her when nobody else was around._

_She makes it her mission to get her aunt to like her._

_So, when her aunt comes back into the room after putting Chris to bed, Lauren sends her a wide smile._

_Her aunt scowls. “What the hell are you smiling at?”_

_Lauren shifts on the couch, not expecting that reaction. “’ove you!”_

_“Yeah?” Her aunt stares down at her. “Well, I don’t love you. You’re a fucked up little brat and your parents should’ve put you down when they realised that.”_

_Lauren blinks in confusion, her face falling. She fiddles with Nala’s ear and stares down at her feet. “I- I sowwy.”_

_“Get off my couch.” At the words, Lauren scrambles to get up, rocking on her heels as her aunt brushes down the couch and sits down._

_After a few minutes of silence, Lauren sits down on the floor and rakes through her backpack, smiling when she finds her_ The Lion King _DVD. She holds it out to her aunt, hoping that she’ll be able to watch a little bit, because her bedtime is an extra hour after Chris’, so she’ll get a decent amount watched if they put it on now._

_Her aunt snatches the DVD case out of her hand and scoffs. “You want to watch this?”_

_Lauren bobs her head in reply. “P’ease.”_

_Her aunt scoffs. “I’ll keep this. You’re not watching this at all this weekend.”_

_Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and tries to stop herself from crying, but it doesn’t work. She lets out a soft sob, and her aunt groans and grabs her by the arm. Lauren doesn’t like being grabbed, and she tries to wrench her arm from her aunt’s grip, but if anything, her fingers just tighten around Lauren’s forearm._

_“I can’t deal with your whining.” Her aunt shoves her into the room her mother had left her in earlier. “Stay in here, and if I hear you make a sound, I’ll do more than just grab you. And if I find you on that bed in the morning, you’re not getting breakfast.”_

_With that, her aunt slams the door, and Lauren jumps at the loud noise, her grip on Nala tightening. She sobs into her best friend’s fur, and she really wishes that her aunt would just love her, because she doesn’t know what she’s done wrong, and it’s so confusing._

_Lauren cries herself to sleep that night, laid on the floor, her arms curled around Nala and her stomach growling._

_She’d hoped that when her aunt found her on the floor that next day, maybe she’d get praised. Maybe she’d let her sleep on the bed the next night, because she only has to get through one more night and then it’s Sunday and her parents will be back for her._

_Instead, her aunt scoffs at her and tells her to get in the kitchen for breakfast._

_Lauren obeys, and again, finds herself with a smaller portion than Chris, but at least her foods can’t touch this time, because it’s just cereal. She eats it all up and drinks the milk out of the bowl, and sits on the couch with Chris as her aunt lets him pick out the show, and doesn’t even ask Lauren what she wants._

_Her aunt has disappeared somewhere to get ready when Lauren hears her baby sister crying. When the crying doesn’t subside, Lauren frowns, and decides to go check on her, because her parents told her to watch out for her brother and sister._

_So, she wanders into her aunt’s room, and notices her sister in her cot and her aunt sat at her mirror, curling her hair._

_“Tay,” Lauren gets her aunt’s attention and points over at her baby sister, “Tay.”_

_Her aunt scowls at her. “I’ll deal with her in a second.”_

_Taylor’s crying gets louder, and Lauren frowns, because she doesn’t like the loud, so she puts her hands over her ears and tries to make her aunt help. “Tay. Tay.”_

_Her aunt turns around and sends her the angriest glare she’s ever seen, and Lauren backs away, hands still over her ears. “You’re an ungrateful little brat, you know that? Get here. Now.”_

_Slowly, Lauren walks over to her aunt, glancing over at Taylor with concerned eyes. “Tay.”_

_“I’ll deal with the fucking baby in a second.” Her aunt snaps. “You need to be dealt with right now, because you don’t get to tell me what to do when I’m clearly fucking busy. You never shut up, do you? You’re always whining and wanting something and I’m sick of it. It’s not fair to your parents that they had a kid as messed up as you. They’re good people and they don’t deserve it. You never should’ve been born.”_

_Lauren cowers as her aunt grabs her and holds her down against the floor. She feels her shirt being rolled up. “You know why I don’t love you? Because you don’t deserve it.”_

_Lauren doesn’t have time to think about the words, because the worst pain she’s ever felt hits her body, starting on her lower back, and she cries out in pain, trying to wriggle out of her aunt’s grip. The pain subsides for a second, but then the feeling is back, and an awful smell fills the room, and somehow, Lauren knows it’s the smell of her own flesh._

_Her aunt’s grip slackens a little, and Lauren tries to wriggle away, her lower back burning with every move she makes, but excruciating pain hits her again and she becomes limp against the floor, sobbing helplessly._

_After what feels like eternity, her aunt lets go and puts her curling iron down. “Don’t think I won’t do that again if you step out of line.”_

_Then, she gets up, walks over to Taylor and picks her up, and leaves Lauren crying on the floor._

_When Lauren gets up, all she can feel is pain in her lower back, and it hurts so much that she can’t concentrate on anything else. Every move she makes, it hurts her. Slowly, she makes her way into the living room to find her aunt there, pulling on her coat. Taylor is already in her pushchair and Chris has his shoes on._

_“We’re going to the park,” Her aunt says, pushing past her and deliberately scraping against the freshly inflicted burns. “You’re not coming because you were bad.”_

_With that, she leaves the house, and Lauren hears the door lock behind her. Once Lauren’s sure she’s not coming back, she makes her way over to the phone, every step she takes causing pain to shoot up her spine._

_She has both her mom’s and dad’s phone number memorised, because she loves memorising random strings of numbers, so she dials her mom’s and tries to stop crying so she can talk properly._

_Her mom picks up with a cheery tone. “Hello, hope the kids aren’t causing you too much trouble-”_

_“Mami,” Lauren interrupts with a sob, “mami, hurt. Mami.”_

_“Lauren?” Clara replies. “Is that you?”_

_“’es,” Lauren confirms, sniffling, “mami, hurt.”_

_“You’re hurt?” Clara asks her, her voice going higher in pitch. “Lauren, honey, are you hurt?”_

_“’es,” Lauren cries, the burning pain in her back all she can think of, “’es, mami.”_

_Clara says something to Mike, but it’s muffled and Lauren can’t hear it. “Go and get your aunt, honey. Your papi is calling your abuela right now just in case-”_

_“No,” Lauren sobs, “’lone.”_

_“She left you home alone?” Clara practically shrieks; Lauren has to hold the phone away from her ear. “Okay, your abuela is on her way, just stay on the phone with me until she gets there, Lauren. Are your brother and sister there?”_

_“No,” Lauren shakes her head and wipes at her eyes, “’lone.”_

_“Okay,” Clara sounds more and more worried by the second, but Lauren’s not really sure what it is. “I’m going to talk to you until your abuela gets there. She doesn’t live too far away and if she’s driving she’ll only be a few minutes, sweetheart. How much are you hurt? Tell me, one to ten. How much?”_

_“’en!” Lauren screeches, the pain in her back almost as unbearable as when it was happening, “’en, mami.”_

_Her mom is saying something hurriedly, but Lauren hears a knock on the door and drops the phone, leaving it hanging on its cord. She tries to pull at the door handle, but it’s locked, and she hears a voice through the door. “Lauren, it’s just your abuela. I need you to move back so I can open the door.”_

_Lauren does as her abuela says and hears a key against the lock, before the door swings open and her abuela scoops her up into her arms. Lauren immediately cries out, because her abuela is holding her where it hurts, and she pulls to get away._

_Carefully, her abuela sets her down on the couch and runs over to the phone. Lauren watches as she talks to her mom, “No, Clara, she seems alright, just a little shaken up, this could just be a misunderstanding,” and then hangs up the phone, walking back over to Lauren. “Show me where it hurts, Lauren.”_

_Lauren turns around and lifts her shirt up, and she hears her abuela let out a gasp. “I need to take you to the emergency room. I’m calling your parents, they need to come home.”_

_Lauren blinks up at her abuela as the elderly woman goes into the kitchen for a little while. Lauren can hear her talking, so she knows she’s on the phone, and then she comes back into the room with a first aid kit. “Your parents will be a few hours. I’m going to bandage you up a little bit so it doesn’t get infected on the way to the hospital, alright? How did this happen, honey?”_

_Lauren takes her abuela’s hand and leads her to her aunt’s room, pointing at the curling iron and staring at the object with fear. Her abuela looks horrified, and turns to her with wide eyes. “Did your aunt do this?”_

_Lauren nods, tearing up again, and jumping when she hears the front door open and her aunt’s voice. Her abuela picks her up again, careful not to touch the burns, and goes to walk towards the stairs. Lauren lets out a whine in protest, and her abuela kisses the top of her head, “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”_

“Lauren! It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Camila’s voice is the first thing she hears when her eyes snap open and she starts sobbing, collapsing into her girlfriend’s arms. “Hey, baby, it’s alright. You’re totally safe.”

Lauren whimpers into Camila’s shoulder. “I hate her.”

“Whoa,” Camila tries to look her in the eye, but Lauren won’t let her, “who do you hate? What’s wrong, Laur? Did you have a nightmare? Okay, well, yeah, clearly you had a nightmare, but like, how bad was it? That’s a stupid question, just- _ignore me_ , babe.”

“My fucking aunt,” Lauren mumbles, “I hate her so much.”

“Did you have a dream about…” Camila trails off when Lauren nods, and the younger Latina’s arms wrap around her again, rubbing comforting circles into her back. “She’s rotting in hell right now. And you’re going to have a great life and go to heaven. Both, hopefully, with me.”

“I’ve- um,” Lauren sniffles and wipes at her eyes, “I’ve been having… nightmares. Over this past week.”

“While we’ve been fighting?” Camila asks, and Lauren nods in confirmation. “Have you told anyone?”

“My parents…” Lauren shrugs, “only because they heard me crying one night and asked. It’s- it’s always the same nightmare too, and it’s not- I _hate_ it because it’s not even a fucking nightmare. I’m back there with her and it hurts so much because she told me that I didn’t deserve to be loved and our fight made me think that maybe it’s true and I don’t- I don’t know _why_ I had one tonight because we’re _fine_ and-”

“Hey,” Camila cuts her off and cups her face, dotting kisses across her cheeks, “You deserve the world, Lolo. It’s her that deserved nothing. You’re so important to so many people and you always will be. You know why?”

Lauren sniffles and shakes her head.

“Because you’re the sweetest human being on the planet. You’re nice to everyone no matter what and you always try to see the good in people.” Camila sends her a bright smile. “That’s one of the things that made me love you. No matter how much of a jerk I was at first, you saw the good in me and you brought that out. You made me a better person, Lo.”

Lauren wipes at her eyes. “I did?”

“You did,” Camila pulls her close and Lauren feels her girlfriend’s warm fingers tracing patterns on her tummy, “You made me a better me and I’m so fucking thankful for that. Without my Lolo lion, I’d probably still be like Marielle and Sandra and get my kicks from making fun of people.”

Lauren blushes. “I’m your Lolo lion.”

“Yep,” Camila grins and shifts off the bed, “and I know exactly how to make you feel better. We’re going to play a board game.”

Lauren sits up and glances at the clock. “It’s- it’s three a.m.”

“Yeah, it is, and we’re going to play a board game,” Camila says, rifling around Lauren’s closet until she finds a game. “Come on. You can kick my clumsy ass at Jenga.”

Lauren moves off the bed and watches as Camila starts setting up the tower. She sits across from her girlfriend and wipes at her eyes again, trying not to think about her nightmare, because her aunt was _wrong_. She does deserve to be loved, and her parents want her no matter what, and she’ll always have people like her family and Camila to prove her wrong.

 _Fuck_ _my aunt_ , Lauren decides _, she’s the one who doesn’t deserve love._

Camila loses at Jenga, like she said she would. But that’s apparently because Lauren still looked sad, and Camila needed to fix that with a kiss by leaning over the Jenga tower while taking her turn and proceeding to knock the whole thing down.

Then, Camila insists on watching _The Lion King_ , even though Lauren says she’s too tired, and Camila jokes that they’ve switched minds, because usually it’s Lauren who’s begging to watch it.

Lauren falls asleep with a smile on her face, bundled up under the sheets of her bed and wrapped in her beautiful girlfriend’s arms.

Her sleep is peaceful for the rest of the night.


	61. Chapter 61

“Lauren. Wake up.”

“I- _Camz_?” Lauren frowns, sitting up and rubbing at her eyes. “What are you doing? It’s- it’s still dark out.”

“Mhm,” Camila smiles, “It’s Valentine’s Day. And I have a surprise which requires a drive. So we need to set off soon. I have a bowl of Cheerios here for you.”

“No milk?” Lauren asks, but she switches her lamp on and looks, answering her own question. She eats a couple of Cheerios and then looks at the time. 5:30AM. What the hell? “How did you get in?”

“Your mom let me in. She’s in on this. She was actually the one who helped come up with the idea.” Camila tells her. “Well, more like told me what to do, pretty much. I was stumped for Valentine’s Day ideas.”

“Oh,” Lauren frowns. “What are we doing, then?”

“Can’t tell you that,” Camila replies, “It’s a surprise, but don’t worry. It’s a _good_ surprise. I swear.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Okay then. I trust you.”

Camila’s face flushes and she leans in to kiss her. “I know you do. But this’ll be a lot of fun, I promise.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods as she finishes off her Cheerios. “How fun? Like, what- on a scale of one to ten. Ten being the most fun.”

“Ten _thousand_.” Camila grins. “Honestly, you’ll love it when you realise what it is. I loved it when your mom gave me the idea. Especially when both sets of parents gave me cash for it.”

Lauren frowns. “How long are we going to be in the car for? Can I- can I bring Nala?”

“Of course you can bring Nala,” Camila smiles, muttering something under her breath that Lauren doesn’t catch. “And… three hours. Without traffic.”

“Oh,” Lauren bobs her head in reply, “I’ll- I’ll put a playlist on. What else do I need?”

“Well… I have a backpack full of snacks for the ride, and obviously you need to bring Nala, your phone, yourself… that’s pretty much it. Maybe a jacket or something for if you get cold.” Camila says. “We won’t get back until later tonight, though. We’re having a day out, and then we have dinner reservations at six thirty. Then we have to eat dinner and drive back for three hours. So, at the best, we’ll get back around eleven. So maybe bring your house key.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods and grabs her key, which is attached to a _Lion King_ keychain that Normani had given her a few birthdays ago. “Anything else? I really want to be prepared.”

“Nope.” Camila shakes her head. “Not that I can think of. We’re good to go.”

Lauren hums in reply and gets up, searching through her closet for something to wear. Camila cuts in front of her and pulls out a black and white striped tee and a pair of ripped, black skinny jeans. “ _Camz_ , I need to get dressed.”

“Wear these,” Camila holds the clothes out to her. “You’ll look hot in this.”

“Is- is that something you want me to be?” Lauren asks. “Do you want me to look hot today?”

“Well… you always look hot. But you’d look _really_ hot in this.” Camila says, her fingers playing with the zipper on Lauren’s Simba onesie. “Bring your leather jacket, too. I want to show everyone how I have a badass as a girlfriend.”

Lauren beams. “Yes. I’m badass.”

“Get dressed, badass,” Camila smiles and flops down on Lauren’s bed. “I’ll be over here.”

“Okay,” Lauren replies, unzipping her Simba onesie and getting out of it. She grabs the t-shirt, not bothering to put a bra on, and then changes into some fresh underwear before tugging the jeans on. Then, she turns to Camila with a smile. “Do I look good?”

Camila smiles. “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” Lauren blushes and looks down at her feet. “That makes me happy.”

Camila goes back towards Lauren’s closet and pulls out the leather jacket that Lauren rarely ever wears. Then, she comes back towards Lauren and puts the jacket on her. “ _Now_ you look even better. I still don’t know why you never wear this. You look hot in it.”

Lauren flushes. “I- I don’t- I didn’t think it suited me much. Mani told me I should buy it so I did, but- but I never thought…”

“Okay, _what_?” Camila stares at her like she’s crazy. “You thought _this_ didn’t suit you, but the ugly hat did?”

Lauren glares at her. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not,” Camila kisses her, “promise. It’s just… this suits you a _lot_. You look like a badass rocker chick.”

“Oh,” Lauren lets Camila pull her over to the mirror and stares at her reflection for a moment. “I... I do?”

“Totally,” Camila kisses her cheek, “and you’re my gorgeous rocker girlfriend. Now, let’s go. We really need to set off.”

“I- I want to know where we’re going,” Lauren says as Camila pulls her out of her bedroom. “Tell me where we’re going.”

“Can’t, sorry,” Camila replies, “You’ll find out when we get there. In three hours and a bit.”

Lauren sighs in response, and after waving her mom goodbye, who is heading back off to bed, gets into Camila’s car. She curls up in the passenger seat with Nala in her lap and closes her eyes.

She’s asleep before Camila pulls out of the driveway.

-

“Lolo, hey,” She feels Camila’s warm hand on her thigh, “wake up, cutie. We’re here.”

Groggily, Lauren sits up and rubs at her eyes, immediately taking her seatbelt off when she realises that the car isn’t moving. “I don’t like seatbelts.”

“Really? I think they’re pretty useful inventions.” Camila replies, “You know, they kind of stop you from flying out of the car and dying if you’re ever in a crash.”

“They’re uncomfortable,” Lauren mumbles, rubbing at her neck where her seatbelt has chafed and left a red mark. “They should be- be made of fluffy things. Like kittens.”

“I think that’d class as kitten abuse,” Camila grabs her hand and helps her out of the car, “Maybe they should be wrapped in the same material your blue blanket is made out of. That’d be better.”

Lauren hums in reply. “Mmm, yes, I love my blue blanket. I didn’t mean seatbelts should be made out of kittens. I was just sleepy.”

“Good to know your brain is fully functional now.” Camila smiles and nods to something behind Lauren. “Your surprise is behind you, baby.”

Lauren frowns at her, but when she turns around, her jaw drops to the floor. “You didn’t.”

“Technically our moms did, but yeah,” Camila wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist and kisses her cheek, “we have an all-expense paid day out at the Animal Kingdom ahead of us.”

Lauren blinks in surprise at the sign, expecting it to disappear. “No.”

Camila laughs. “No?”

“No, you didn’t- but- we already-” Lauren splutters, “you- you brought me back to Disney?”

“For Valentine’s Day,” Camila nods in confirmation. “I know how much you love the Animal Kingdom, and when your mom casually mentioned a sale on tickets after Christmas... I knew we had to. She offered to pay for all of it, and then I told my mom and she thought it’d be nice for us to go back for a day, so our moms teamed up. They’re way better captains than Dinah.”

“Don’t be mean to Dinah,” Lauren mumbles, “she’s a great captain. But- but you brought me to my favourite Disney Park?”

Camila hums in confirmation. “And we get to go on the safari ride. You can see the lions.”

Lauren beams and throws her arms around Camila, dotting kisses across her face. “I love you, I love you, I love you!”

“I love you too, Lo,” Camila kisses her back, “Come on, babe. It’s almost ten, so that means we have plenty of time for rides before our dinner reservations in Downtown Disney.”

“We- we have dinner reservations?” Lauren asks. “Where?”

“The Cuban restaurant,” Camila replies, leading her towards the gates of the park, “I figured it was fitting, since we’re both Cubans.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, still in disbelief as Camila deals with the tickets. “I- you’re the best girlfriend in the world, you know?”

Camila smiles. “That’s you. But thanks.”

“No!” Lauren shakes her head, “I mean, well, I am very good, but… but you’re just _amazing._ You do so much for me and- and you always give me tummy rubs and you’ve brought me to Disney _twice_! I- I really wish that- that I had lots of money so I could buy you a really pretty engagement ring and then- um, then throw a really extravagant wedding. But I promise I’ll do that when we’re older and rich.”

Camila laughs and squeezes her hand. “I don’t need an extravagant wedding. Just as long as you’re the one I’m marrying, I’m happy.”

Lauren blushes. “I just want to give you everything.”

“You do that by always being your adorable self,” Camila replies with a smile, “anyways, we’ve got an Animal Kingdom to explore for the second time coming.”

“Thank you so much,” Lauren says as they enter the park and excitement bubbles in her chest. “This is- this is perfect.”

“Well, we didn’t do much for Valentine’s Day last year, so…” Camila shrugs, “why not go a little overboard this year? Go big or go home, right?”

Lauren hums. “I guess so. Though, I do like my house a lot.”

Camila kisses her. “You’re so cute.”

Lauren frowns, because she doesn’t know what she’s done to elicit that reaction. “Why?”

“Why are you cute?” Camila asks, and Lauren nods. “I don’t know. You just are. Just like you’re also hot as hell, especially in that leather jacket.”

Lauren laughs. “I- I should’ve worn my hat to annoy you.”

“Yeah, then it would’ve blown away on a rollercoaster and into the wind, never to be seen again, which would be a win for me,” Camila pulls her in the direction of the Yeti ride. “Anyway, it’s time for your favourite rollercoaster. You need to look after me on it to make sure I don’t die of fright.”

Lauren laughs. “You’ve been on it before. You know what to expect now.”

“It’s still scary,” Camila points out, “It doesn’t matter how many times I go on a rollercoaster, I’ll always get all jittery before I go on it.”

“It’s just ride, Camzi,” Lauren smiles, “you’ll be fine. And I’ll- um, I’ll be there to protect you.”

“Yeah,” Camila kisses her, “you’re the best protector there ever was.”

“I’d be- I’d be a good superhero,” Lauren continues as they enter the line, “I’d- I’d be good at thinking up plans and- because I have a 5.0 GPA.”

Camila laughs, and Lauren frowns a little, because she wasn’t trying to be funny. She really would be a good superhero, if superheroes existed. “Really? I forgot.”

“You did?” Lauren pouts. “Well, I-”

“Joking, babe,” Camila cuts in, “I could never forget. You remind me every other day.”

“I- I don’t tell you that much,” Lauren mumbles, “but I’m proud of it and-”

“And you won an award at school for being the smartest person in the universe, I know,” Camila laughs, “I think it’s cute, Lo. Intelligence is attractive.”

“Oh,” Lauren flushes, “I didn’t know that you found that attractive.”

“Well I do,” Camila squeezes her hand. “You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met, Laur, and that’s hot. You’re the hottest girl in the world, too. I don’t think school could really give you an award for that, but I could.”

“You’re going to give me an award?” Lauren looks up and beams, because she loves getting awards. “Can I have a certificate? I love putting those on my wall. Also- um, a little trophy to put on the shelf in the lounge where my brother and sister also put their trophies.”

Camila laughs, but Lauren knows she’s not doing it in a mean way. “Sure, baby. I’ll make you a certificate you can stick on your wall.”

Lauren smiles and rocks on her heels as they finally reach the end of the line area and meet the end of the queue, which isn’t very long since it’s early. “Good. Make sure it’s a pretty certificate, though. I need- you should use a nice font. Not comic sans. Or- or papyrus.”

“I’ll let you take full control of the font,” Camila says, her smile fading a little when they’re ushered onto the ride, “I don’t think I want to go on this anymore.”

Lauren frowns. “But- but I’m your superhero and I’m here to protect you.”

Camila cringes when the bar across their laps is checked. “I- yeah. Lolo lion to the rescue, right?”

Lauren smiles this time, because she really loves it when her girlfriend calls her that. “I love alliteration.”

To her complete surprise, Camila actually laughs as the ride sets off. “Really? Why?”

“It sounds nice,” Lauren replies, murmuring, “Lolo lion,” to herself.

Camila grabs Lauren’s hand as they go down a small hill, but smiles anyway. “So _that’s_ why you like my nickname for you.”

“Yes, but also because I really love lions,” Lauren explains as they start going up the big hill. She feels Camila tense next to her, but she wants to take advantage of being really high up to see if she can spot the lions in the safari.

When Camila screams as they go down the hill, Lauren starts paying attention again. “Oh, I’m sorry, I was looking for lions.”

Camila lets out a forced laugh and grips onto Lauren’s hand tightly. “It’s okay. Sorry if I break your hand.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Close your eyes.”

Camila does, and after another drop, opens them wide. “Nope, that makes it ten times worse because I can’t see what’s coming.”

“But… but it’s dark,” Lauren points out, letting out a small squeal as they go down another drop. That’s why she likes this ride – it’s dark and you can’t see what’s coming, and that makes it more fun. “You can’t see anything anyway.”

“I- well, I mean…” Camila cuts herself off with another scream. “We’ll talk about this when we’re not on this death trap.”

Naturally, when the ride finally comes to a stop, Lauren wants to go on again, but Camila says no. Apparently, _brunch_ is necessary, even though it’s only half past ten.

(Even though she hasn’t eaten since five and she’s hungry, she really wants to go see the lions.)

“Camz,” Lauren whines as her girlfriend pulls her towards the Donald Duck café, “I want to see the lions.”

“You’ll see them after breakfast, okay, baby?” Camila stops pulling her and leans up to kiss her. “I promise. And after that, we can go and see _The Lion King_ show.”

Lauren’s jaw drops, because she’d completely forgotten about that in all the excitement. “Promise we’ll do all that straight after breakfast?”

“Promise,” Camila squeezes her hand, “come on. We need to get you a stack of pancakes.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “We should’ve stopped at Waffle House on the way here. Maybe we’d have found Ally there.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if we did,” Camila says, “she practically lives at the place.”

“I love Ally,” Lauren absently replies as Camila asks for a table for two. “She’s really funny, that’s a good quality to have. You’re funny too, but in a _you’re not funny but you try really hard to be so it’s funny anyway_ kind of way."

Camila blinks at her for a few moments, trying to absorb the words. “Did you just… tell me I’m funny by being not funny?”

Lauren hums as she pulls out her chair and takes the menu the waiter is holding out for her. “Yes.”

Camila rolls her eyes and goes back to talking to the waiter. After a few moments, she nudges her under the table, and Lauren kicks her back, because that’s what Dinah always does to her. Apparently that’s called _footsie_.

Camila finally gets her attention when Lauren looks up from the menu to ask what time exactly they’ll be going to see the lions. “Laur. What do you want to drink?”

“Oh, um,” Lauren pauses in thought, “a caramel latte with extra foam because I think the foam is funny. But what time are we going to see the lions?”

“Straight after this,” Camila promises, and Lauren frowns, because that’s not exact, but she can’t tell her girlfriend that because she’s looking over to the waiter and talking to him. “Anyway, she’ll have a stack of pancakes with syrup and I’ll have… the same, actually.”

Before the waiter can leave, Lauren looks up, staring just to the right of him. “Do you have Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes?”

He smiles at her. “We do. Would you like those ones? They’re an extra two dollars.”

“Yes please,” Lauren smiles and looks down at her feet. “So will my girlfriend.”

He notes that down on his notepad. “Are you two here specifically for Valentine’s Day?”

“Yes,” Lauren replies before Camila can, grabbing the extra straws and drumming them on the table. “Camz surprised me. We’re going to see the lions after this, they’re probably my favourite animal. Did you know that a lion’s roar is the loudest of all the big cats and it can be heard from eight kilometres away?”

“I didn’t,” He smiles, “anyway, I’ll be right back with your drinks.”

With that, he walks away, and Camila nudges Lauren’s foot under the table. “Tell me more lion facts, Lolo.”

“Oh, well, um… I don’t remember what I’ve already told you,” Lauren trails off, but decides that Camila has probably forgotten too, so it doesn’t really matter if she repeats information. “Did you know that lionesses are very motherly, and- and they look after neglected cubs because they want to give them all a chance to survive? Also, um, they’re six times more sensitive to light than humans, so they have really good vision in the dark.”

Camila reaches across the table and squeezes her hand. “Have you developed another special interest lately? Because you could tell me things about that, if you wanted.”

“Um…” Lauren frowns in thought, “no, not, um, recently. But I’m- it means a lot that you want to hear about my special interests, because I really love talking about them.”

“I love hearing you talk, and generally when I ask you about them, I learn new things,” Camila points out, “which is why I love listening to you.”

“Have you heard anything from NYU?” Lauren blurts out before she can stop herself. “I- I got my… my acceptance letter while we were fighting and I- I wanted to ask you… but I thought maybe you’d shout again.”

Camila stares at her for a moment before shaking her head. “No. I haven’t heard anything yet. But I’m more concered that you thought I’d shout at you.”

Almost straight away, Lauren backtracks. “I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset-”

“You didn’t,” Camila cuts her off and sends her a soft smile, “Lo, you got into a really good school. You should’ve told me sooner and we could’ve done something to celebrate. I’m your girlfriend and first and foremost, I’m there to support you. Not shout at you. I’m so proud of you for getting in.”

Lauren blushes. “I- um, thanks. But I want to wait to celebrate it. Because we need to wait for when you get your acceptance letter, too.”

To her surprise, Camila just smiles. “Yeah. We’ll wait for that.”

-

Camila decides that Valentine’s Day has been a complete success.

Lauren is bouncy and excitable all day long – Clara had warned her that with a long day and not much sleep, Lauren tends to get a little whiney – but clearly Disney is the cause for all of that. After breakfast, they go on the safari ride, where Lauren stares in awe at the lions just like she’d done the last time they were there.

That’s when Camila makes a note that they’re definitely coming here for their honeymoon. Lauren looks so genuinely happy and it makes Camila’s heart soar.

Lauren’s especially happy during the _Lion King_ show, which they go to twice, once after the safari and the second time at their last chance before they have to head out to dinner.

Camila almost has to drag Lauren out of the park, but she promises her that they’ll come back some other time, which she knows they will.

(If you’re dating Lauren, Disney is kind of a _must_.)

They drive to Downtown Disney and head to the restaurant that Sinu had insisted they go to, but before they manage to step foot inside, Lauren runs towards the giant Disney store because she’d spotted a Sarabi plush and told Camila that she needed it to add to her _Lion King_ plush collection.

While it’s not exactly part of the _all-expense paid_ thing their mom’s promised, Camila can’t resist Lauren’s puppy dog eyes, and she _had_ purposely not mentioned bringing any money, so Lauren had left her wallet at home. She caves within five seconds, and then they pay for the toy and go back to the car to put her with Nala.

“Camz,” Lauren says before closing the car door, “can I bring Nala to dinner?”

Camila smiles. “Sure, baby. But we _really_ have to get to the restaurant now.”

“Okay,” Lauren grabs Nala and tucks her under her arm, before grabbing hold off Camila’s hand and pulling her along, giggling all the way to the restaurant.

Surprisingly, they actually make their reservation, and as her mom had said, the food is phenomenal. Mostly because it’s Cuban and she’s kind of biased, but whatever. It’s still amazing.

After they finish dinner, they get an ice cream cone to share on the way back to the car, but Lauren eats most of it – the damn ice cream addict – and plays with Nala’s ears as they get back to the parking lot.

“Thank you for this,” Lauren says after a few moments of silence. “I- I had a really great day.”

“Thank our moms,” Camila retorts with a grin, “I definitely will, because I had a great day too.”

Lauren looks down at her feet and smiles. “I- I really want to kiss you right now.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Do it then, dork.”

Lauren pulls her in for a kiss, but it’s a lot rougher than usual. Camila remembers their first few kisses, and how shy and unsure Lauren was, but the person kissing her now is a confident woman who knows she’s hot as hell.

Lauren moves forwards and pins her against the car, one arm around Camila’s waist and the other holding Nala, kissing down her neck, and Camila’s terrified because anyone could see them but that also makes this ten times hotter. So, she fumbles with the keys of the car and unlocks it. “Backseat?”

Lauren hums against Camila’s neck. “Yes. Backseat.”

Camila opens the car door and as Lauren tosses Nala into the front seat, the younger girl takes control. She gently moves Lauren back so the older girl is laid on the backseat, and straddles her waist, closing the door behind her.

Slowly, she trails kisses down Lauren’s jawline and her hand snakes down to unbutton the ripped skinny jeans her girlfriend is wearing. She kisses down Lauren’s neck, sucking on her pulse point, before pausing with a smile. “Don’t you think it’s funny how we’ve done this both times we’ve been to Disney?”

 _“Camz_ ,” Lauren whines, moving her hips upwards, “not- not the time.”

Camila laughs. “Really? I think it’s the perfect time. It’s like a tradition, don’t you think?”

 _“Camila_ ,” Lauren mumbles, “please, Camz. Don’t- just- just-”

Camila kisses her again, smiling against Lauren’s lips. “Alright, fine, I won’t tease you.”

Camila pulls Lauren’s jeans down and tosses them in the front seat, kissing along her girlfriend’s neck as one finger teases Lauren’s barely covered centre. She’d kind of lied – she does plan on teasing Lauren a little, but not much.

(She kind of wishes they’d planned this, but honestly, Lauren’s _Lion King_ panties are kind of fitting for the situation.)

Lauren leans up to kiss her, and bright green eyes meet hers for a moment, the older girl letting out a whine when Camila deliberately grinds against her. “I love you.”

At the words, Camila melts. “I love you too.”

With that, she slips one finger into Lauren’s centre and starts thrusting it in and out. Lauren bucks her hips upwards and looks at Camila pleadingly, and the younger Latina kisses her slowly, slipping another finger in while they kiss.

Lauren kisses her back desperately, and lets a small whine slip out against Camila’s mouth when the younger girl’s thumb starts rubbing slow circles into her clit. “ _Camz_ , more.”

Camila nods against Lauren and adds another finger, but she really doesn’t need to, because her girlfriend is already tightening around her. Lauren lets out a moan, and Camila’s thumb starts moving faster on her girlfriend’s clit. She moves her fingers faster and curls them in just the right place, before she pauses entirely and Lauren lets her know that she’s really not happy about that when she lets out a distressed moan and an irritated, “ _Camz_.”

Camila smirks a little and shuts her girlfriend up with a kiss, before she starts moving her fingers even faster and presses down on Lauren’s clit with her thumb. The older girl moans into Camila’s shoulder, her fingers digging into her back, and Camila helps her ride out her orgasm before she sits up in the confined space in the back off her car.

Camila licks her fingers clean and kisses a rather dazed Lauren, bringing her girlfriend back to earth. “Did that make the day even better?”

Lauren stares up at her with wide eyes and nods. “But- um, we- we’re in _public_.”

Camila laughs a little. “Yeah, but that’s kind of hot, isn’t it?”

“I- but- but there are _kids_ here, Camz,” Lauren points out, “we weren’t thinking and- and I’m- that was really amazing, but-”

“Hey, Lolo,” Camila cuts her off with a kiss, “it’s okay. Nobody saw and lots of people have sex in cars. It’s not a big deal.”

“I- I mean, I guess,” Lauren mumbles and grabs her jeans from the floor. “I- it’s just, Disney is full of kids and-”

“And you feel bad about it,” Camila finishes for her, “but it’s not like we had an audience. We’re in a dark parking lot in the back of a car. For someone to see, they’d have to be stood right outside the window.”

Lauren lets out a sigh. “Okay. Yes, you’re- you’re right. It’s okay.”

Camila kisses her. “Now get your pants on and let’s move to the front seats, okay? We need to get back to Miami.”

Lauren pouts. “I don’t want to move now.”

“Too bad,” Camila rolls her eyes, “you were out for the whole ride here and ditched me. I need someone to play eye spy with.”

Lauren stares at her for a moment before smiling. “Okay. I will play eye spy with you, but only because you- you just… made me feel really good.”

Camila kisses her. “I’m glad to hear it. Now move your ass!”

Even though she moves to the front seat, Lauren is asleep within twenty minutes. Camila feels like she’s not far off falling asleep either, and she doesn’t make it home that night.

Nope. She spends the night cuddled up in Lauren’s bed, feeling completely safe in her girlfriend’s arms.


	62. Chapter 62

“You’re eighteen!” Lauren says as she opens Camila’s door, but her face falls into a frown when she realises her girlfriend is still asleep. “ _Camz_. Wake up.”

“Mmm, what?” Camila grumbles, rolling over in her bed. “No school. No, mom.”

Lauren giggles and flops down on Camila’s bed. “I’m not your mom, silly. It’s me, Lauren.”

“Lolo?” Camila mumbles and rests her head on Lauren’s lap. “G’night.”

“No!” Lauren exclaims, shaking her girlfriend, “wake up, Camzi. You can’t miss your eighteenth birthday!”

Camila grumbles and snuggles up close to Lauren. “Hold me, baby girl.”

“Okay,” Lauren runs her fingers through Camila’s hair and kisses her girlfriend’s cheek. “But it’s your eighteenth birthday. You’re a grown up now, like me. Shall we go get tattoos together?”

“Mom would kill me,” Camila murmurs, “I just want to cuddle you for a bit. Okay?”

“Okay then,” Lauren bobs her head in reply. “I like cuddles.”

“You’re a cuddly baby,” Camila takes hold of her hand and squeezes it. “My cuddly Lolo lion.”

Lauren smiles and plays with Camila’s fingers. “We’re the same age.”

“But you’re nineteen soon,” Camila points out, still not opening her eyes. “You’re so _old_.”

Lauren giggles. “I’m not that old. I’m eighteen and you’re eighteen, so if I’m old, so are you.”

Camila finally opens her eyes and looks up at Lauren with a smile. “You’re cute. You changed your nose piercing back to the stud, though?”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums in thought. “I was bored and- and I wanted to. I will probably change it back to the ring soon though, I’m just- um, trying something new. And- anyway, we need to celebrate your birthday, so- um, get out of bed. Please.”

“I want to cuddle with you though,” Camila pouts at her. “Don’t you want snuggles?”

“Well- I, I mean,” Lauren blushes and shrugs. “I like cuddles, but I- I want to celebrate your birthday now and I- I made a schedule and if you don’t get up now then we’re not sticking to it.”

Camila sits up and rubs at her eyes. “Okay. I’m up. What’s the plan?”

“Um, well… I kind of lied,” Lauren mumbles, “Just to wake you up. I’m really sorry-”

“Lolo!” Camila squeals and pulls her in for a hug. “You’re the cutest. You don’t need to apologise for white lies.”

Lauren frowns at her girlfriend’s words. “But- but what’s the difference between a _white_ lie and a regular lie?”

“Well, a white lie is like what you just said,” Camila replies, taking hold of Lauren’s hand. “And a regular lie is if… if you like, told me you went somewhere, but you actually went somewhere else.”

“Where would I go?” Lauren frowns to herself. “Like, a place I’d lie to you about going. What- where would I go?”

Camila laughs. “I don’t know, babe. It was just an example.”

Lauren hums in thought. “I don’t ever lie to you. Not even in a white way. Except for just then.”

“In a white way,” Camila repeats with a smile, “You’re so cute.”

Lauren cuddles up to her and squeezes her hand. “Well, um, it’s your eighteenth birthday. So… you should be able to have full control of the day. You get to pick what we do…”

“Oh, alright, we’re going out to dinner,” Camila decides, “because we’ve been dating for like, a year and a half, and we still haven’t done the classic dinner date.”

“I- I don’t…” Lauren trails off before she can get the words _I don’t like restaurants_ out, because it’s Camila’s birthday, and that’s what her girlfriend wants to do. So Lauren is going to do it. “Okay. Dinner date. Um… what else?”

“It’ll be a quiet restaurant, baby. I know you don’t like them much because they’re loud,” Camila squeezes her hand, and Lauren smiles, because she has the best girlfriend ever. “We’ll go somewhere chill. And you can have pepperoni pizza with three pepperonis on each slice.”

Lauren hums in reply. “Yes, okay. Um, what else would you like to do?”

“I don’t want to do anything big,” Camila moves so she’s lying down again and rests her head on Lauren’s chest. “I just want to snuggle with you and watch movies.”

“But- but it’s your eighteenth!” Lauren protests. “You have to do _something_ for it. You can’t just- just sit inside, you do that every day.”

“Thanks for confirming that I basically have no social life, Lolo,” Camila laughs, “but it’s fitting.”

Lauren pouts, because that’s not what she said and she thinks it’s stupid when allistic people make assumptions from her words, because she means what she _says_ , and she didn’t say that Camila has no social life. “That’s not what I said.”

Camila ruffles her hair and kisses her neck. “Come on, babe. Let’s just sit in and watch movies.”

“We- we could, um…” Lauren trails off, because she was going to let Camila pick what they did. “I could give you your present if you want.”

“Oh, sure,” Camila nods, “I bet I’ll love it.”

Lauren reaches into the backpack she’d brought with her and pulls out an envelope, holding it out to her girlfriend. “It’s- it’s not like… like last year. Not something really big. But, um, something fun.”

Camila opens up the envelope and smiles at the card. “You got a _wife_ card.”

“Well, I, um… they didn’t have any good girlfriend ones…” Lauren murmurs, “and, I mean… you will be one day, so…”

Camila shuts her up with a kiss. “I love it. I can’t wait to read whatever dorky, sappy things you wrote inside.”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip as Camila opens the card and the tickets fall onto her lap. “I- I didn’t write things that were too sappy. Those are- um, the things that I say to you when I want you to do that smile you do. The special one, the one that looks different to the others, but I don’t, um, really know what it means.”

Camila picks up the tickets and frowns. “Concert tickets? But, Lo… concerts are really loud and you’re the only person I’d want to take… plus, it’s The 1975, it’d be a _crime_ to go to that without you.”

“Do you, um, not like them?” Lauren looks down at her lap and picks at a loose thread on her jeans. “I’m sorry, I can… I can probably get a refund-”

“No, baby, I love it,” Camila kisses her, “so much. I’m so excited to go to our first concert together.”

“It’s, uh,” Lauren points out the date on the tickets, “it’s for this October. In New York, since we’ll be there for college…”

Camila smiles and pulls her in for a hug. “I’m looking forward to it.”

“You did it again,” Lauren observes as Camila takes her hand. “That special smile, I mean. The one you only use for me.”

Camila watches as Lauren plays with her fingers. “It probably shows you how completely in love with you I am, right? Dinah would probably call it disgusting.”

“I don’t think you being in love with me is disgusting,” Lauren assures her, “I think it’s nice. Because I love you too.”

“I know you do,” Camila replies, “but because you love me… you have to watch a movie that _isn’t_ The Lion King with me right now. You think you can handle that?”

Lauren frowns, because she watches different movies all the time, but then Camila sends her a fond smile and mouths the words _I’m joking_ , so Lauren cracks a smile. “Okay. What movie?”

Camila hums in thought. “Oh, totally _Saw_ or something equally disgusting.”

“No thank you,” Lauren turns her nose up, “I’d rather go home if you want to watch that.”

“Okay, I think this calls for a movie date.” Camila sits up. “We’re going to actually watch a movie in theatres. We’re just going to go, pick something that’s on and watch it. Deal?”

“Um… alright then,” Lauren nods. It’s a little too spontaneous, and she wouldn’t normally do it, but it’s Camila’s day and she wants to make her girlfriend happy. “I will drive. My mom let me have the car for the day.”

“Just let me get dressed,” Camila stands up, but Lauren stays sat on the bed, because she’s quite comfortable right now. “Check what movies are on and we can decide on the drive there.”

Lauren checks the movie listings and then holds her phone up to Camila, her cheeks turning red when she realises that Camila doesn’t have a shirt on. “Um… there, um, there’s not much on.”

Camila smirks at her. “There’s no need to get all shy, Lo. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

“I- um, just,” Lauren blushes, “you’re really beautiful, Camz.”

“Oh,” Camila leans over and kisses her, “thank you, Lo.”

Lauren taps out a pattern on Camila’s unmade duvet. “Would you like me to make your bed for you? Since it’s your birthday, you, um, shouldn’t have to do chores. And making a bed is kind of a chore, I think.”

Camila shrugs as she pulls on a shirt. “If you want. I never really make my bed, so…”

Lauren stares at her like she’s grown another head. “You don’t make your bed? But- but then it’s all messy and mess is annoying and ugly.”

Camila laughs. “It’s not like I do it on purpose. I just forget and by the time I remember, I’m already at home and ready to get in my pyjamas.”

Lauren huffs. “I’m going to make your bed. When we’re older and married, if you don’t make the bed, I’ll divorce you. Well, I won’t, I’m exaggerating for humorous effect, but… I’ll be annoyed.”

“I won’t have to make the bed,” Camila points out, “because you’ll be there to obsessively make the bed on a morning.”

Lauren hums and busies herself with making sure Camila’s bed is neatly made. “I always make my bed. I like it neat and tidy. I always have. I- um, I remember my aunt told me I wasn’t allowed to sleep on a bed in her house, and I didn’t understand why, because I wouldn’t have left it messy. Chris would’ve, though. Chris never makes his bed, and his room smells.”

“Teenage boy rooms always smell,” Camila points out, “and, I mean, sometimes girls’ rooms do too, but only if they’re _really_ messy. I’m not that bad.”

Lauren rocks on her heels. “You’re still not tidy.”

“Well, like I said,” Camila kisses her, “I’ll have you to keep the room tidy when I throw my socks on the floor like some sort of convict.”

Lauren smiles. “I never throw my socks on the floor, I always put them in my hamper.”

“Um, no, I distinctly remember you throwing your socks on the floor one time to prove to me you’re rebellious,” Camila kisses the tip of her nose, “don’t lie, Lauren Michelle.”

“But- but I did that on purpose!” Lauren protests. “Don’t be mean to me.”

“It’s my birthday, I can do what I want,” Camila teases her, “come on, nerd. Let’s go see a movie.”

Lauren follows her out of the room, ranting at her all the way downstairs about how she _never_ throws her socks on the floor and how Camila is the one that’s lying.

-

“It’s not too loud, is it?” Camila asks as they’re seated in a little Italian restaurant they’d found on their way home. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

Lauren sends her a warm smile, and Camila beams as if it’s a built in response to anything Lauren does. “I’m fine, Camz. Promise.”

“Okay,” Camila bobs her head in reply. “Well, uh, do you think we’d be able to get any wine? Like, just a glass each.”

“Oh, I can use my fake ID, if you’d like,” Lauren offers, and Camila is a little sceptical for two reasons. One, where the hell did Lauren get a fake ID, and two, her girlfriend is probably the worst liar in the history of the universe. “It’s worked before. Dinah made me get one when she- she went with Normani to get one. She said- um, in case I ever need to go clubbing with them, which… I don’t think I will.”

“You, clubbing?” Camila laughs. “Cute. That’d be a sight.”

“Even walking past clubs give me headaches,” Lauren admits. “It’s, um, it’s both the loud music and the loud drunk people. I don’t like loud drunk people. You’re a funny drunk person, I like drunk Camz.”

“I was so happy to meet drunk Lauren,” Camila laughs, “You were so cute! I mean, you’re always cute, but you were really funny.”

Lauren hums. “That night is all kind of blurry. But it was fun, and you ate me out, which was nice.”

Camila nearly chokes on the ice water she’s drinking at Lauren’s words, and she tries not to laugh even more at the stunned look on their awkward looking teenage boy waiter. “Um, yeah. Really nice, Laur.”

The waiter, looking even more awkward than before, clears his throat and sends them a very forced smile. “Um, have you decided on your drinks yet?”

Lauren taps on the table. “We would like a bottle of shiraz to share, please.”

Instead of questioning them and asking for ID, the guy just nods, notes it down on his pad and leaves. Camila figures it’s probably because he’s rather be anywhere but there.

(She’s right. Someone else comes over with their bottle of wine.)

Lauren looks up at their new waitress and her eyes widen. “Vero?”

“Lauren?” Vero puts the bottle of wine on the table and frowns. “Hey. I haven’t seen you in forever.”

Lauren frowns. “Actually, it’s only been a couple of months.”

“Yeah.” Vero trails off. “So, um, you two are still together?”

“Yeah,” Camila answers for them both, “we are. In fact, Lauren brought me out for a romantic dinner tonight to celebrate my eighteenth.”

Lauren nods in agreement. “Yes. I did.”

“Well, um,” Vero glances around for a moment, “how’s Lucy? I tried calling her the other day, but she didn’t pick up or call me back.”

“I don’t think you should’ve called her.” Lauren replies, and Camila notices how tense her girlfriend has gone, but it’s not in the usual nervous way. No, this is like a lioness defending her cub. This is angry tense.

(It’s kind of hot, to be honest.)

Vero frowns. “Why not? I told her I still wanted to be friends-”

“That’s the _point_ ,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “Lucy doesn’t want that. She was in love with you and you just threw that away and it’s not okay to call her up like you weren’t in love with her too. She’s still getting over you and it’s been really hard on her, and if it wasn’t for me and Keana I don’t think she’d have gotten through the past few months, so _leave her alone_.”

After a few moments of staring at Lauren, speechless and floundering for a comeback, Vero just dumps the wine glasses onto the table and stalks away.

 _God_ , Camila thinks, _they’re probably running out of staff that are willing to wait on us._

Lauren is quiet for a moment, before she turns to Camila with a frown. “I don’t know what just happened. It’s like I was possessed by an angry demon.”

“That’s just your inner mama bear,” Camila nudges Lauren’s foot with hers under the table. “You were like, Normani if someone insulted you. You’re Lucy’s Normani. That kind of makes no sense, but… still.”

“My inner mama bear,” Lauren repeats, “can it be my inner mama lion? Because I’m Lolo lion, not Lolo bear.”

“Sure, your inner lioness,” Camila agrees with a grin, “but seriously, Lo… next waiter we get, don’t mention oral sex or shout at them, okay? I’m pretty sure they’re running out of waiters for us.”

Lauren giggles. “Sure. Anyway, where is our new waiter? Because I really want to order my pizza. Can we get a garlic bread to share for a starter? Garlic bread is the best bread.”

Camila sends Lauren a fond smile – she’s pretty sure that’s the _special smile_ that Lauren was talking about earlier – and shrugs. “Why not? It’s my eighteenth birthday, so I’m going to pour myself a big glass of wine and be happy about it.”

Lauren beams. “Yes. We’re going to have fun.”

Camila pours a generous amount of wine in both her and Lauren’s glasses, and makes sure to tell their new waiter – who thankfully isn’t Vero or a teenage boy embarrassed at the idea of two girls being together – that Lauren’s pepperoni pizza needs to have three pepperonis on each slice.

When it comes exactly like that, Lauren is ecstatic, and thanks the waiter with a wide smile. Camila reaches over the table and squeezes Lauren’s hand, before digging into her pasta and wondering why the hell they’ve never been to this restaurant before, because it’s some damn good pasta, and Karla Camila Cabello is a sucker for good food.

After they finish eating and dry up the last of their wine supply, they head back to Camila’s house – not before stopping for ice cream because according to Lauren, ice cream is the perfect birthday thing. Camila’s pretty sure that _cake_ is the birthday thing, and that her ice cream addicted girlfriend is just using birthdays as an excuse to get a triple scoop strawberry cone, but she has to admit that after their meal, ice cream goes down well.

When they finally get back to Camila’s house, they have plans to snuggle in bed and watch a few episodes of _Scream Queens_. Since Lauren gave Camila full permission to plan the day’s activities, Camila decides that Lauren has to sleep over, because she’s going to spend her first night as an eighteen year old falling asleep next to her girlfriend no matter what.

They’re stopped on their way up to Camila’s bedroom with Sinu, who is holding out a letter. Camila’s heart stops when she notices the NYU stamp on the envelope.

“Open it,” Lauren urges her, “you’ll have gotten in. I know you will.”

Camila isn’t sure if she should put it off, because the last thing she wants to do is end her birthday with a college rejection. “I don’t know.”

“I’ll open it for you,” Lauren offers, “then- um, then I can be the one to break the news with lots of kisses.”

Camila hands the letter over, because Lauren’s kisses could probably make her feel better about it. “Okay. Go for it.”

Lauren opens the letter, humming along to herself, and when she reads the first paragraph of the letter, her bright green eyes widen. Camila isn’t sure if that’s a good sign or a bad sign.

But then, Lauren lets out a squeal and pulls her in for a hug, picking her up off the ground and spinning her around. “We’re going to college together!”

“Seriously?” Camila asks when Lauren sets her back down. “I got in?”

“You got in!” Lauren holds out the letter, and Camila reads it over, letting Lauren pull her in for another tight hug. “We need to start looking for places to live, maybe a cute little studio apartment, and I’ll help furnish it and make it look pretty, but it has to be pet friendly so Dash can come-”

“Lauren…” Camila interrupts, “we’ll be living together. You’re going to be my live-in girlfriend. This is actually happening.”

“I know, that’s why I said we need to find somewhere pet friendly so I can take Dash,” Lauren continues, “and obviously somewhere relatively close to campus… that’d be the best idea. But pet friendly is the most important because I’m not leaving Dash at home.”

“And we’ll have a dog!” Camila finishes, eyes wide in disbelief. “Like- like a family.”

“Yeah!” Lauren beams. “Isn’t it great?”

It finally sinks in, and Camila can’t hold back her smile. She’ll get to live with Lauren next year and go to an amazing school in _New York_.

Camila melts into Lauren’s arms with a smile. “This is the best birthday ever.”


	63. Chapter 63

“Your mom told me you were sick.” Camila waltzes into Lauren’s room with a smile. “So I’m here to take care of you. Even if it _is_ a school day.”

“But you can’t-” Lauren looks at her with wide eyes, “You can’t take the day off school.”

“I can do whatever the hell I want, Lauren Michelle,” Camila says, sitting down on Lauren’s bed, “first important question – are you contagious?”

“Probably,” Lauren mumbles, “Keana had this a few days before the last time we hung out and I think she gave this to me _and_ Lucy.”

“Alright,” Camila nods, “well, I don’t care. I’m your future wife and I’m going to take care of you. No matter how gross and contagious you are.”

“I’m not-” Lauren cuts herself off with a cough, “I’m not gross.”

“ _Really_?” Camila raises an eyebrow, placing a hand against Lauren’s forehead, because her girlfriend is burning up. “How many times have you puked today, Lo?”

“Um- only-” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and pulls her blue blanket up to her chin. “Only a few times. It’s not- I’m okay though. Nothing to miss school over.”

“If you wanted to convince me you were fine, you would’ve said _no, Camz, I haven’t puked at all_. And even then, I wouldn’t have left, because I already called into school pretending to be my mom and told them that I was sick.” Camila replies, gently brushing her hand through Lauren’s hair. “So I _can’t_ show up in full health. People will think my mother is trying to sabotage my education.”

“You- you shouldn’t have,” Lauren pulls her blanket over her head. “I don’t want to get you sick.”

“I’m going to make you some tea, okay?” Camila kisses Lauren’s forehead and squeezes her hand. “I’ll be right back, baby.”

“No, wait,” Lauren sits up and rubs at her eyes, “I can- oh god-”

Camila hears a retching sound, and Lauren jumps up from her bed and sprints into her bathroom. Even though even the _sound_ of someone puking makes Camila want to puke herself, she goes into the bathroom and holds Lauren’s hair away from her face, rubbing comforting circles on her girlfriend’s back.

“I’ve got you, Lolo,” Camila assures her when Lauren stops puking and collapses into her. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed.”

“ _Camz_ ,” Lauren whines as Camila practically carries her back to bed, “my head hurts.”

“I know, babe.” Camila brushes Lauren’s hair back and makes sure to tuck her into bed. “Just close your eyes. I’m going to get you some water and, uh, a bucket would probably be a good idea, too. So you don’t need to get up again.”

“Camila,” Lauren mumbles, “thank you for coming over. Even though you’re missing school.”

“It’s not a problem,” Camila promises, “your parents are at work and nobody would be here to stop you puking on yourself if I wasn’t.”

“I love you,” Lauren blinks up at her. “I’d- I’d really love some- um, some water. My throat feels gross after that.”

“Okay. I’ll be as quick as I can be.” Camila says. “If you get hungry later, I’ll make you some toast, but I doubt it’ll be a good idea to put butter on it. We need you to have plain things so it’s easier on your stomach.”

“I, um, had a few Cheerios this morning,” Lauren says. “My mom brought me a bowl up before she went to work but it was a lot smaller than usual.”

“That’s probably good. Especially since you never have milk on them,” Camila points out. “Milk is like, the _worst_ possible thing to have when you’re sick.”

“I hate being sick.” Lauren pulls her blankets up to her nose. “It’s- I’m really cold.”

“Really?” Camila presses her hand to Lauren’s forehead and frowns. “You’re burning up, Laur.”

“Can- can you get me my special blue blanket, please?” Lauren murmurs. “I’m not- um, I feel shivery and I don’t like it.”

“Is it in your closet?” Camila asks, and Lauren nods. “I’ll grab it for you.”

“The material is super soft,” Lauren mumbles, sounding a little more dazed than usual. “I would like it and- and then you go get me water and then, um, tell me a story.”

“You want to hear a story?” Camila laughs a little as she unfolds Lauren’s blanket and puts it over the older girl’s duvet. “Alright. I’ll think of something while I go get you some water.”

Camila heads downstairs and gets Lauren a glass of iced water, trying to think of a decent story as she heads back to her girlfriend’s bedroom. Eventually, she works something out, and sits on the side of the bed, letting Lauren have a few sips of water before putting it on her bedside table for her.

Then, Lauren bundles up under her blankets, Nala cuddled up to her chest, and nods. “Story now, please. Sorry if I fall asleep during it.”

“Okay, well, um,” Camila grabs Lauren’s hand and traces circles into her girlfriend’s palm. “Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Lauren, and-”

“No!” Lauren giggles and shakes her head slowly, rubbing at her eyes. “I meant a _real_ story, Camz. Like, something that happened to _you_. Not about some princess that has the same name as me.”

Camila pouts. “Can I at least _finish_ my princess story?”

“Fine,” Lauren plays with Nala’s ear, “but you still have to tell me a real one after.”

“Okay,” Camila smiles down at Lauren and clears her throat. “The princess is you, by the way. Not just someone who has the same name as you.”

Lauren frowns. “I know I’m pretty, but I’m not a princess.”

“Well, in this story you _are,_ okay?” When Lauren opens her mouth to protest, Camila interrupts. “It’s pretend, you can be whatever you want.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Can I breathe fire?”

“I- um,” Camila blinks, a little taken off guard by the question, “sure. If you want to breathe fire in the story, then okay.”

Lauren nods and beams at her. “I’m a dragon.”

“No, you’re a princess,” Camila rolls her eyes, “anyway, once upon a-”

“You said it’s pretend, and I can be whatever I want,” Lauren interrupts, and Camila tries her hardest not to laugh. “Dragons have princesses too.”

“Okay, okay, can I tell my story now?” Camila holds her hands up in surrender. “Unless it’s being hijacked by you.”

“No, go ahead,” Lauren says, “I just wanted to be a fire breathing dragon princess.”

“Okay, once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Lauren, who also happened to be a fire breathing dragon in her free time,” Camila starts, waiting for the inevitable interruption from Lauren. If there’s a few details Lauren doesn’t like, she knows she’ll be corrected. “And one day, someone overthrew the monarchy and banished princess Lauren and the rest of her family from the kingdom. They were-”

“What’s the kingdom called?” Lauren asks, and when Camila lets out an exasperated sigh, frowns. “Because it’s not a very good kingdom if it doesn’t have a name. I don’t think I’d like to live there anyway.”

Camila raises her eyebrows. “Do _you_ want to tell the story?”

“No, I don’t know it,” Lauren replies, “but I think it should be the Camren Kingdom.”

“Okay, fine, you were all banished from the Camren Kingdom,” Camila rolls her eyes and tries to hold back her smile, “anyway, one day, they were walking along, trying to find a place to stay while they figured out how to win their kingdom back. Suddenly, a knight bursts out of the trees and tells the Jaureguis that she can help them. Naturally, princess Lauren, being the little know-it-all that she is, says _we don’t need your help, I have a 5.0 GPA, I can do it myself_ -”

“Well now you’re just being unrealistic,” Lauren interrupts yet again, “If I knew how to stay in control of the kingdom, clearly we wouldn’t have been banished.”

“See?” Camila replies. “Know-it-all.”

Lauren pouts. “Finish the story so we can get onto the real one!”

“Okay, well, while princess Lauren is being a pretentious nerd, the knight pulls off her helmet and whips her hair dramatically, which of _course_ makes Lauren shut the hell up, because oh my god, the knight is like, the hottest girl she’s ever seen,” Camila continues, “and her name… is Karla Camila Cabello.”

Lauren frowns. “You wouldn’t be a knight, you’re tiny, anyone could beat you up.”

“Okay, first of all, I’d take you in a fight, Laur,” Camila nudges her, “and second of all, it’s _pretend_. If you’re a damn fire breathing dragon princess then I can be a knight, ‘kay?”

Lauren hums. “And the story is going to end with you winning both the kingdom and me, right?”

“Well, I mean,” Camila falters, trying to think of a different ending, “It-, uh, it could end like that, yeah. But-”

“Then tell me a real story instead,” Lauren runs her fingers across Nala’s fur. “I’d rather hear a real story.”

“Ugh, fine, party pooper,” Camila rolls her eyes and shrugs, trying to think of a decent story. “One you’re in?”

Lauren hums in thought. “Okay then. I- I like hearing how others perceive me, so… yes. One I’m in.”

“But then you’ll know the ending,” Camila rolls her eyes, “I might as well continue with the other story.”

“Fine, one- one where you mention me. Like, something I don’t know, but it- it has something to do with me.” Lauren tries to explain. “Like- _oh!_ When we first met! Tell me about that.”

“Well, I mean, you know that I didn’t really have the best first impression, Lolo,” Camila points out. “You sure you want to hear about that?”

Lauren frowns. “I-, um, I didn’t like you either.”

Camila laughs. “Yes you did! You drew me, loser. You forget about that?”

“I- shut up, Camz. But I don’t really care anymore that you didn’t like me at first.” Lauren sits up, and Camila pushes her back down, because the last thing she wants is her girlfriend sitting up too quickly, getting dizzy and vomiting all over her. “You love me now. And that’s what counts, obviously. Now tell me a story.”

“Fine, uh,” Camila pauses in thought, “I can’t think of any because you’ll know them all.”

Lauren huffs. “Fine. I’m going to sleep then.”

“Good,” Camila kisses her forehead, “You need your rest. I’ll be right here-”

“You’re _supposed_ to say _no, don’t go to sleep, I’ll tell you a story like you asked_ ,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “I’ll tell you one instead, because you suck at storytelling.”

Camila laughs, and figures she might as well get comfortable. “Okay. Tell me a story.”

_“Okay, class, we have a new student today,” the teacher introduces her, and Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, keeping her gaze trained to her feet. She doesn’t want people staring at her. “Her name is Lauren. Make sure you make her feel included.”_

_After the teacher finishes talking to the class, she takes the roll call, and then calls another girl up to stand with Lauren. Lauren’s not sure why; she doesn’t know this girl, and she’s frightened of people she doesn’t know._

_“Lauren, this is Normani,” the teacher explains, “she’s going to be your buddy for the day and show you around. You’ll sit with her for the rest of the year. Okay?”_

_Lauren blinks up at the teacher and nods, glancing at the other girl, who is sending her a warm smile. She shyly returns it, not sure if the girl is going to want to talk to her, because she’s still not very good at that, even though she’s trying her best to make her mom proud._

_“Hi, I’m Normani!” The girl grabs her arm and tugs her over to a table, and Lauren squirms, because she doesn’t like being touched, especially by strangers. “I’ll show you everything at recess, but right now we’ve got to work on our spelling, I think.”_

_“I- I- um,” Lauren swallows the lump in her throat and nods. “I- um, I- Lauren.”_

_“I know, the teacher told me!” Normani laughs. “Because I have to show you around today and look after you.”_

_Lauren picks up on the key word ‘today’ and isn’t surprised. Her mom had explained that other kids might be mean and she knows that it’ll be hard to make friends, because she’s tried everything she can think of and hasn’t made any before._

_When they’re let out for recess, Normani shows her everything, and Lauren decides she really hates the playground, because it’s too loud for her, so she’ll probably spend her recess in the classroom. It seems like the best plan._

_“Okay, I think that’s everything,” Normani says after showing her the empty cafeteria. “So… um, yeah… I’m going to go play outside with Dinah now.”_

_Lauren blinks in surprise, and by the time the words have sunk in, Normani has run out to the playground again, and Lauren really doesn’t want to go back there. So, she finds her way to the classroom and sits down in the little reading corner, getting Nala out of her backpack. Her mom had told her not to get Nala out, but she really wants a friend right now, and Nala’s her best friend._

_-_

_For her first week of school, Lauren spends her recess and lunch in the reading corner, cuddled up on the pillows with Nala and reading all of the books. They’re not very advanced, and Lauren’s really great at reading, so a lot of them are boring, but it’s better than sitting alone and bored._

_On her second week, she’s brought a book from home, and she’s reading through it when someone sits down across from her._

_It’s Normani._

_Lauren blinks at her, not sure what she wants. She kind of hopes she’ll go away, because she really wants to read her book and cuddle Nala._

_“I like your Nala,” Normani says, “My best friend Dinah has a Simba.”_

_Lauren holds Nala to her chest, because sometimes other kids grab at Nala, and she hates that. “No.”_

_“No?” Normani frowns. “I didn’t ask anything. I just said I like your Nala.”_

_“No touch,” Lauren keeps a tight grip on her stuffed lion. “Mine.”_

_“I don’t want to touch it! Promise. I just said I like it.” Normani points at Lauren’s book. “That’s an older kid’s book. I don’t think you’re allowed to get those out of the library.”_

_“Mine,” Lauren repeats, but she doesn’t grab her book, because she doesn’t mind if Normani touches that. She’s just not allowed to touch Nala._

_“The teacher told me you can’t talk.” Normani says, and Lauren looks down at her feet, her cheeks flushing pink. She really hopes that Normani won’t laugh at her, because one time at the park, some kids laughed at her because she couldn’t talk and called her a baby. “But you spoke to me, so the teacher is a liar. Lying’s really bad, too.”_

_Lauren shifts uncomfortably, not sure what Normani wants. So, she gets up and leaves, because she feels uncomfortable being stared at while she’s trying to read._

_“Hey, wait,” Normani jumps up and follows her. “Don’t you want to be friends?”_

_Lauren pauses and turns around, staring at Normani. “Friends?”_

_“Yeah!” Normani smiles. “I think you’re cool and I want to be friends.”_

_Lauren moves back to the reading area and sits down, nodding. “Yes.”_

_“Do you want to meet Dinah?” Normani asks. “She’s like, my best friend, and you’ll have to meet her at some point. She’s outside, if you want to come and meet her.”_

_Lauren pauses, not sure if saying no will make Normani change her mind, so she nods and stands up again. Normani gets up too, and holds out her hand. Lauren doesn’t know what she wants._

_“Can I hold your hand?” Normani asks. “To walk outside?”_

_Lauren hums, and eventually decides that she should, if that’s what friends do, and she doesn’t want to lose a friend when she’s just made her first one. So, she takes Normani’s hand and follows her outside, Nala tucked under her arm._

_Normani leads her over to two girls and points at the taller one. “That’s Dinah. She’s my best friend. And that’s Ally, she’s in the grade above us so she’s my age, because I was held back last year and that sucked.”_

_Dinah frowns at her. “You’re weird, why do you have a stuffed toy? That’s for babies.”_

_Lauren tries to pull free from Normani’s grip so she can run away, because she doesn’t like this Dinah girl. Dinah is scary and she hates it when people call her weird or say she’s a baby, because she’s not. She’s smarter than lots of people._

_“Dinah, be nice,” the other girl, Ally, scolds her. “Hi, lovely to meet you. What’s your name?”_

_Normani speaks for her. “Lauren- um… Lauren, what’s your last name?”_

_Lauren holds out Nala and shows Normani the worn tag on the cub’s leg that reads_ Lauren Jauregui. _Normani frowns even more._

_Dinah stares at her weirdly, and Lauren looks down at her feet. She really doesn’t like Dinah. “I still think she’s weird.”_

_Lauren tries her hardest to send Dinah a mean look, or what her doctor had shown her was a mean look. Emulating an angry face on a page is hard though, and Dinah laughs at her, which makes Lauren scowl even more._

_“Oh, I think I know how to say your last name, Lauren,” Normani says, “Lauren Jagooey. Right?”_

_Lauren frowns and shakes her head. She can’t say her last name yet either, but she knows it’s definitely not that. Her abuela was helping her learn it, though. “No.”_

_“Oh,” Normani deflates and shrugs. “Fine, you’re just Lauren J for now. Until I figure out how to say it.”_

_Lauren nods in reply, and catches Ally smiling at her, so she sends her a nervous smile back. “Hallo.”_

_Ally smiles even wider. “Oh my god, you’re adorable! I like you.”_

_Lauren blushes, embarrassed. Nobody’s ever called her adorable before. “Tank you.”_

_“That’s even cuter!” Ally says. “I used to say thanks like that too, when I was younger though. So, where did you move from?”_

_“I- um,” Lauren frowns, not sure how to answer that. “No.”_

_“You didn’t move?” Ally frowns at her. “You’ve lived in Miami all your life?”_

_Lauren nods. She likes Miami a lot, especially the beach. If she’s really good, her dad takes her down to the beach for ice cream on Sundays._

_“But there’s only one other school in this area, unless…” Ally trails off, and Lauren taps her fingers on her pants. “Did you go to the school down the road?”_

_Lauren nods again. Her mom wasn’t sure about moving her to this school, but her dad and abuela thought it would be a good idea, and Lauren wanted to move too. She didn’t like her old school, it was too loud and kids in the classroom always made noises and she could never get her work done because she’d lose her concentration._

_“Oh,” Ally sends her a sympathetic smile, “well, even if you miss your friends, at least they’re down the road, right?”_

_Lauren shakes her head. “No friend.”_

_“You don’t have any friends at your other school?” Normani asks her. “Why not? You’re really nice, even if you won’t let me hold your Nala.”_

_Dinah laughs. “It’s probably because she’s weird.”_

_“Dinah Jane, say sorry,” Ally glares at Dinah, but Lauren shakes her head. She doesn’t want to cause an argument between friends. She’ll just ignore Dinah, because she doesn’t like her, and she’s really good at ignoring people she doesn’t like._

_When Lauren goes home that night, she tries her best to tell her parents about her new friends, and even calls up her abuela._

_-_

_“You’re really weird,” A boy, whose name Lauren doesn’t know, shoves her over in the playground. Lauren falls, scraping her knee, and tries crying out, but she doesn’t know who will come to help. She can’t see any teachers, or Ally or Normani. “Why do you always have this?”_

_The boy’s friend pulls Nala out of her arms, and Lauren cries even more, because he’s taken her best friend and she’s not allowed to do that. “Freak.”_

_He throws Nala away, and she lands in a muddy puddle. Lauren jumps up, because she_ can’t _let Nala get dirty or her mom won’t let her bring the stuffed lion to school anymore, and even though she has friends now, she still needs Nala._

_The first boy pushes her back and picks the cub up again. “Finders keepers. It’s mine now.”_

_His friend laughs and trips Lauren when she tries to get up, and she wants to cry and run away, but she needs to get Nala back first._

_“Hey! Leave her alone!”_

_Lauren frowns at the voice, and she wipes at her eyes in an attempt to see who it is, rubbing the tears away. But by the time her vision isn’t blurry anymore, someone is putting Nala back in her arms and helping her up._

_“Austin is a jerk,” the voice says again, and Lauren blinks when she realises that it’s Dinah. “I hate him.”_

_“I- um,” Lauren sniffles, “help?”_

_“That’s what I’m doing,” Dinah says, “helping you, because Austin and his friend were being bullies, and you don’t let your friends get bullied.”_

_Lauren blinks in surprise. “Friend?”_

_“Yeah, we’re friends,” Dinah smiles at her, and Lauren frowns, because Dinah always calls her weird and laughs if she trips over or something. “Come on, Ralph, I’m taking you to the nurse to get a bandaid because your knee is all scraped.”_

_“I- I Lauren,” Lauren replies, shaking her head, “Ralph? No.”_

_“I know your name is Lauren, duh,” Dinah laughs. “That’s like, a nickname. Like Ralph Lauren clothes. My mom has a Ralph Lauren shirt and it’s her favourite, my dad bought it for her on a birthday. Don’t know which birthday though. But I’m going to call you Ralph.”_

_Lauren frowns. “But- but… you- um, mean.”_

_Dinah sends her a small smile as she pushes open the door to the nurse’s office. It’s empty. But she sits Lauren down in one of the plastic chairs and plops down next to her. “I’m sorry for calling you weird all the time, ‘cause I kind of thought you were. But then Ally told me that you’re from the special school, and that those kids aren’t-”_

_Lauren’s eyes widen and she shakes her head. “I- I, um, normal! Smart, too.”_

_“Ally told me that you were different. And that it’s okay that you’re like that and it’s probably hard for you to start a new school like this,” Dinah explains, “and that we need to protect you and look after you. Like sisters.”_

_“I- I-” Lauren stammers, looking down at her feet. “Normal.”_

_“No, you’re not normal,” Dinah shakes her head, “You’re like, special and stuff. Not in that way, like, in the way that Mani, Ally and me are special too. That’s why you’re our friend.”_

_“No more mean?” Lauren asks, not sure if Dinah will go back to calling her weird again. “Ever?”_

_“Nope,” Dinah smiles, “I’ll be like, your body guard or something. And if Austin and his dumb friend try anything again I’ll beat them up and stuff. Like a ninja. Mani would help, too. Ally wouldn’t, she’s too nice and doesn’t like violence, but she’d shout.”_

_Lauren stares at her scraped knee. “Hug?”_

_Dinah pulls her in for a hug, and Lauren shifts a little, not used to anyone hugging her but her abuela. Awkwardly, she pats on Dinah’s back and then pulls away, humming to herself._

_“Hey, Ralph?” Dinah gets her attention. “We’ll get your Nala clean, too, just tell your parents and they’ll put it in the wash-”_

_“She,” Lauren corrects, because Nala isn’t an ‘it’. “Need. For- for night.”_

_“Oh, well, I have a Simba!” Dinah replies, “you can borrow him, I have him in my backpack, because I was going to show you him today. But you can borrow him for tonight and give me him back tomorrow.”_

_Finally, Lauren smiles, because even though it’s not the same, it’s something, and she’s really glad that Dinah’s being so nice to her. “Tank you.”_

_“You’re welcome, Ralph,” Dinah grins. “You, me, Ally and Mani… we’re going to be best friends forever, ‘kay?”_

“That’s so cute!” Camila turns and sends Lauren a smile. “Literally. Baby Dinah beating up Austin? Adorable. Baby Ally being like a mama bear? Adorable. Baby Mani-”

“I get it, it’s adorable,” Lauren laughs and rests her head on Camila’s shoulder. “Can I sleep now? My head hurts.”

“Like I said before, you need your rest.” Camila says, and Lauren cuddles up as close to her girlfriend as she can. “Goodnight, Lolo lion.”

“Night-night, Camzi,” Lauren murmurs, closing her eyes. “Hope you liked my story.”

“Loved it,” Camila squeezes her hand. “But go to sleep. I need you to get your strength back before I make you my not-so-famous, literally from a packet chicken noodle soup.”

Lauren laughs. “Love you lots.”

“Love you too, dork,” Camila kisses the top of her head. “Feel better soon, Lo.”


	64. Chapter 64

“L-Lamp!” Lauren looks up in surprise when she hears the familiar voice, and taps her fingers against her pants when Sofi, seemingly unaccompanied, comes to a stop a few feet in from of her. “Hi!”

“Hello,” Lauren answers, looking around for one of Camila’s parents, or Camila herself. “Are you here alone? Because you’re only little, you shouldn’t be allowed to the grocery store all by yourself.”

“No, K-Kaki saw you and- and told me I-I could c-come say hi,” Sofi explains, holding out her hand. Lauren takes it, a little confused as to why Camila didn’t come over too. “She went to g-get s-something else but she s-said she’d be right back.”

“Oh, okay,” Lauren hums in thought. “Happy Easter, by the way.”

“Will you p-pick me up?” Sofi asks, holding her arms out. Lauren nods, and leans down to let Sofi clamber onto her back. “Happy E-Easter, Lamp. W-what are you doing?”

“Nothing. My family doesn’t do anything for Easter except my parents give me and my siblings an Easter egg each. My younger siblings get one from my aunt and uncle on my dad’s side, who we never see, and one from my abuelo.” Lauren explains. “I used to get more than one too, but I’m eighteen now, so my other family members don’t get me an Easter egg anymore, which is okay, because I don’t really like chocolate and I always gave my other ones to my siblings, because they _never_ got me Reese’s, and that’s the only chocolate I really like.”

Sofi looks a little surprised by the long-winded explanation. “Oh. We’re g-going on an Easter egg hunt. K-Kaki always helps me look.”

“That sounds nice,” Lauren replies, turning back to the candy she was looking at. She’d come to the grocery store to pick up milk, a loaf of bread, eggs and some bacon for her dad, and she’d realised that she had some money left over. She thinks she wants some marshmallows, but she hasn’t decided yet. “I hope you find lots of chocolate.”

“We will!” Sofi exclaims, beaming. “I-I’ll save you s-some.”

“I don’t like chocolate that much,” Lauren dismisses her. “But thank you for offering. You are very polite. I was like that as a kid too. I bet Camz wasn’t, though.”

“Hey, I resent that, Lauren Michelle,” Apparently, Camila had chosen that moment to sneak up on them. “I was the nicest little kid you’d ever meet.”

“That’s probably a lie, I think.” Lauren helps Sofi down and turns to her girlfriend with a smile. “Anyway, have fun on your Easter egg hunt. I am going to buy some candy now.”

Camila grabs her hand. “Are you busy today?”

“Not really.” Lauren says. “I was just going to go home and draw. I’m going to sketch Tay, she gave me a photo for it and everything.”

“Would you want to come with us?” Camila asks. “To the Easter egg hunt? You can help Sofi with me.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Okay then. I will come with you. But I have to go home first and drop off the groceries.”

Sofi grins. “Lamp is c-coming with us?”

“Yep,” Camila nods in confirmation. “The badass _Lamp_ is coming to hunt for Easter eggs with us.”

“We already established that I’m badass, Camz,” Lauren says as she follows Camila to the checkout. “We don’t need to say it again. I know I am.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “You’re a softie and you know it.”

Lauren frowns. “What does that have to do with me being badass?”

“Lamp is s-super cool!” Sofi exclaims. “She’s really n-nice and f-fun.”

Lauren beams. “Yes. I’m fun. You’re a loser, Camz.”

“I’m being _bullied_ ,” Camila pouts, “You’re such a meanie. I take it back, you’re not a softie, you’re a meanie.”

“Your insults are rather childish, Camz,” Lauren replies as she loads the contents of her basket onto the checkout. “If I were you, I’d all the person a bitch. Or… a fucking idiot. Or something.”

“ _Laur_ ,” Camila stares at her with wide eyes as Sofi giggles. “Language. There’s a small child in the vicinity.”

Sofi laughs. “Lamp s-said a bad w-word.”

“Oh, shit, I forgot,” Lauren says when she realises, and then her eyes widen again. “Wait. I’m sorry. I forget that that’s a bad word, too. They’re just words to me.”

Camila rolls her eyes and turns to her sister. “See, Sof? Lamp here is a bad influence on us both. Clearly I’m way cooler.”

Lauren pouts. “I’m cool!”

Camila kisses her cheek. “I know. I’m just teasing you, dork. Now pay for your damn groceries. Did you drive here?”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums in reply as she pays for her things, and occupies herself with packing them into bags while Camila pays for what she’d bought, “My dad let me use the car, he was going to come and pick up the things he needed, but I was bored so I offered.”

“You’re so helpful,” Camila flashes her a smile, “when I first got my driver’s licence, I was like that. I used any excuse to drive and would constantly run out to get things for my family. Even my friends. One time Sandra needed some tampons and I left my house, went to the grocery store across town that was near her place, bought them, drove to her house, dropped them off and then went home. Eventually the novelty wore off, though. Mostly because of the gas money.”

Lauren hums in thought as she takes in that explanation. “I didn’t do that when I learned to drive. Mostly because it’s hard to concentrate for long periods of time and I don’t like concentrating like that unless it’s on something cool like art.”

“Well, Sofi and I walked, so I could drive your car for you?” Camila offers as she picks up her bags. “It’d save me and Sofi from carrying all of this home.”

“Okay then,” Lauren tosses her car keys over to Camila with a smile. “I will sit in the passenger seat and put good music on.”

“Nothing with bad words,” Camila warns her as she opens up the trunk of the car and dumps the grocery bags inside. “There’s a little kid here.”

“I d-don’t mind!” Sofi exclaims. “Lamp l-likes good music!”

“Yeah, I like good music,” Lauren agrees, sitting down in the passenger seat. Camila gets in the driver’s side after making sure Sofi is all buckled in. “I will put Lana on. But not any songs with swears, I promise.”

“Fine,” Camila rolls her eyes. “Let’s go.”

-

“Hey, Lolo?”

“Mhm?” Lauren shifts in Camila’s grip and puts her pencil down, glancing up at her girlfriend. “Yes?”

“Tell me some jokes,” Camila says. “Entertain me. Because I’m bored and you’re ignoring me for your sketchbook.”

“If you’re bored, go help Sofi look for more Easter eggs.” Lauren suggests, turning back to her drawing. She’s currently sketching a little girl and her _two_ moms, because it kind of makes her think of her own future, and she loves that. “I’m sketching. And I’m not very good at jokes.”

“Yes you are,” Camila’s warm fingers run through her hair, and Lauren moves so her head is rested on her girlfriend’s chest, thankful for the shade of the tree they’re sat under, because she’s getting quite hot and her sweater is slowly becoming more uncomfortable to wear. “You’re really funny, Laur. Tell me a joke.”

“Fine,” Lauren hums in thought. “Um… knock knock.”

“Yes, I knew you’d cave,” Camila grins, but quietens down when Lauren sends her a frustrated glare. “Who’s there?”

“Theodore.”

Camila frowns. “Theodore who?”

“Theodore wasn’t open, so I knocked.” Lauren recites, before turning back to her sketchbook again. “There. You got a joke.”

Camila laughs, but when Lauren starts again on her drawing, pokes her in the arm. “I wanted more than just one bad knock knock joke.”

“You’re so annoying, Camz,” Lauren rolls her eyes. “I’m _trying_ to draw.”

“You can draw and tell jokes,” Camila points out. “But come on. Tell me another joke.”

Lauren huffs. “My heterosexuality.”

“Same.” Camila snorts. “But a _real joke_ , please.”

Lauren frowns. “You?”

Camila lets out a mock gasp and lightly smacks her on the arm. “You’re the worst. All I wanted was to exchange bad jokes with my adorable girlfriend, but I’m talking to a grumpy bitch instead.”

“Because I want to draw,” Lauren holds up her pencil to emphasise that. “You could draw with me, if you wanted. But I don’t want to tell jokes, because I’m not good at jokes.”

“You seemed pretty good at them to me.” Camila rolls her eyes. “But sure. I’ll draw with you.”

Lauren opens up her pencil case and searches through for another pencil. She sharpens it so it’s just right, and then passes it to Camila. “I’m drawing that couple and their daughter over there, see? You can… you can draw the lady on the right, because I’m drawing the one on the left right now.”

“Um… I’m not much of a character artist, if you get what I mean.” Camila says, and Lauren rolls her eyes. “I’ll do the background if you want.”

“Okay then,” Lauren nods, and goes back to work on the lady on the left hand side, because she really wants to get this done before they leave.

She’s barely started again before Camila nudges her. “Do you have any coloured pencils?”

“Um…” Lauren shrugs. “I think I have every colour but orange in my pencil case, but you’ll have to check. It’s been a while since I organised this one.”

“Okay,” Camila nods and rifles through the pencil case.

Lauren smiles to herself. “Hey, Camz? Would you remember me if I disappeared?”

Camila frowns. “Of course I would.”

“Even in a million years?”

“I’d never forget you. Why?”

“Oh, okay.” Lauren nods. After a few minutes of silence, she speaks again. “Knock knock.”

“I thought we were done with the jokes,” Camila says, but shrugs. “Who’s there?”

“See!” Lauren exclaims. “You’ve already forgotten me.”

Camila snorts. “That was lame.”

“You tell a joke, then.” Lauren folds her arms across her chest. “Mine are funnier and I’m not very good at jokes.”

“Fine,” Camila picks up her phone, and Lauren frowns. “Give me a second. I was going to send you this on Valentine’s Day, but I figured it’d ruin the romantic atmosphere.”

When Lauren’s phone pings, she picks it up, and frowns at the text icon. She opens up the notification and bursts out laughing when she does.

**_Camziii <3 (2:03PM):_ **

**__ **

“Camz!” Lauren buries her face in Camila’s neck and giggles. “That’s funny! You should’ve- you should’ve sent me that!”

Camila shrugs. “I thought it might elicit a rant about how I’m sexualising a children’s movie.”

“No, it’s funny,” Lauren assures her, laughing to herself and mumbling, “ _hakuna my tatas_.”

“Also, I didn’t want to ruin the Animal Kingdom surprise. A _Lion King_ meme might’ve dropped a hint and we don’t want that,” Camila laughs. “It needed to be one hundred percent surprising.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed, I would’ve just thought it was a funny joke and asked for more ones,” Lauren says, “how would I have guessed? It’s not like you were saying _oh, we might be going to the Animal Kingdom, here’s a funny meme_. You’d just send the picture and make me laugh.”

“Well, yeah, okay…” Camila replies, because Lauren has a point, “it’s a little bit of a stretch. But you might’ve guessed. You’re smart, aren’t you. What’s your GPA again?”

“It’s a-” Lauren cuts herself off when she sees Camila’s smile. “You know my GPA. I told you. I don’t think you forgot, I think you’re joking. Right?”

“Caught me.” Camila smiles at her again and kisses the top of her head. “Too smart for me, Laur.”

“True,” Lauren bobs her head in reply. “I’m very smart. I won an award for having the best grades in the school. It’s in the trophy cabinet at home. I only have three trophies in there. One for my grades, one for art and the other for softball. Because I used to play softball.”

“Only used to?” Camila asks. “Why’d you stop? You must’ve been good if you won the award.”

“I- um, when I was younger, it was- um, harder to control my temper,” Lauren murmurs, “and I got distracted a lot because I’d think about other things like art. And- and one time the other kids on my team picked on me and I- I had… I got mad…”

Camila blinks in confusion. “You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?”

“Um- no,” Lauren shakes her head, “Someone- someone else. I got really upset and people were too close and I hit out… this girl on my team who was mean to me a lot- um, I gave her a black eye. And then they kicked me off the team. I- I was eight. And- and that’s the last time I’d ever- um, done something like that. I’d never hit you, Camz-”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Camila’s fingers run through Lauren’s soft hair. “You couldn’t hurt a fly. They were the ones in the wrong. They were making fun of you and they got too close and you couldn’t help hitting out.”

“It’s just- um, just that there are negative stereotypes about- about autistic people being violent and…” Lauren shrugs and glances up at Camila, “I just… don’t want you to think that. From hearing that story. Because I-”

“You don’t like violence,” Camila finishes for her. “I know, baby. I don’t think you’re violent, Lo. It’s our two year anniversary in October. I’m pretty sure I know you well by now.”

Lauren hums in thought and shifts a little so she can kiss Camila. “I didn’t want your opinion to change because of the story. I wouldn’t ever hurt you. Not even if you make me mad.”

“I know. When you love people, you don’t hurt them.” Camila replies. “And I’d never hurt you either, okay, babe?”

“I know,” Lauren smiles and squeezes her hand. “I trust you with everything. Like… if I was stuck in a burning building, I know you’d come in and save me. You’re my superhero.”

Camila’s stomach flips. “Yeah. Anyway, did you want me to buy you an Easter egg? There’s a little store over there if you really want one.”

“I got one from my parents,” Lauren shrugs, “and I don’t really like chocolate. Do you want one, though? I’ll get you one.”

“No, Laur,” Camila shakes her head, “it’s fine, I don’t need another Easter egg.”

“You like chocolate.” Lauren observes, and stands up, brushing herself off. She carefully puts her sketchbook on Camila’s lap. “Look after my sketchbook. I’m going to get you an Easter egg.”

“Lauren Michelle, get back here,” Camila calls after her, but Lauren ignores her, picks up her backpack and leaves, heading towards the store.

She looks around the aisles for a few moments, and picks out a Reese’s chocolate egg, because she likes that, and she can share it with Camila, since she knows her girlfriend is most likely going to argue with her unless they share.

(Once she knows people for a while, they kind of get predictable.)

She’s a little confused when someone shouts out, “Hey, Lauren,” and she turns on her heel and sees Shawn.

“Oh,” She smiles a little. “Hello, Shawn.”

“Hey, I didn’t think you lived around here.” He says, before nodding down to the Easter egg in her hand. “Late Easter shopping for a sibling or something?”

“No, it’s for Camz. We’re at the park with her little sister, Sofi. Sofi’s hunting for Easter eggs, and we helped her a little at first, but then I wanted to draw, and eventually Camz sat next to me too.” Lauren explains. “She told me not to buy her an Easter egg, but I’m doing it anyway.”

“Actually, I kind of needed to talk to you about her.” Shawn replies, “I want to buy her something for graduation, because it’s basically because of her that I’m passing Spanish. What kind of stuff is she into?”

“Oh, she loves music,” Lauren says, “mostly guitar things. If that helps. I think she needs a stand for it, you could get her that, because she just props it up against her wall, and there’s a few scratches in the paint because of that.”

“Okay, guitar stuff.” Shawn smiles. “I’ll keep that in mind. See you at school?”

“Mhm, you will,” Lauren bobs her head in reply. “See you at school.”

After he leaves, Lauren pays for the Easter egg and then makes her way back over to Camila. Her spot on her girlfriend’s lap has been taken by Sofi, but she doesn’t mind, because she can make Camila share the Easter egg with Sofi instead of her.

“Hi,” Lauren announces her presence. “I’m back. Here’s your chocolate.”

“Thanks, Laur,” Camila kisses her. “You really didn’t need to do this. I’m sharing it with you.”

“A-and me,” Sofi replies, “Kaki s-said we’d share.”

“Good. I don’t really want any, so you two can go ahead.” Lauren says, settling down next to Camila and resting her head on her shoulder. She gets her sketchbook back from her girlfriend and decides to get back to her drawing.

The two women and their little girl are gone, but Lauren still has the basic outline, and she smiles down at it, before glancing over at Camila and a giggling Sofi.

She decides that if what she sees in her sketchbook is her future, she’s looking forward to it. Especially because it’s with Camila.


	65. Chapter 65

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for recreational drug use

When Camila hears that Lauren is having a little get-together at her place, she’s a little more excited for it than usual. Mostly because she knows her friends will be drinking, and while she’s not going to be, since she’s driving, if the other girls are getting drunk, Lauren will be getting high.

At least, she hopes. If a stoned Lauren is as funny as drunk Lauren, she’s in for a good night.

Naturally, when she arrives at Lauren’s house two hours early, she attacks her girlfriend with kisses and glances over her shoulder at the painting she’s finishing up. It’s a painting of Lucy and Keana, and she has her phone open on the original picture on Instagram. “Hey. Are you getting high tonight?”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums in reply, pulling the hood of her Simba onesie back up, “I’m finishing my painting first.”

Camila laughs. “Good thing I brought a book. I’ll be on your bed.”

“Okay.” Lauren doesn’t look up as Camila pulls away from her and flops down on her bed. As Camila flips to where she left off, Lauren speaks up again. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Lern Jergi,” Camila says, getting herself comfortable. She notices Nala sat on one of Lauren’s perfectly fluffed pillows and smiles. “Can I cuddle Nala, since you’re busy?”

 _That_ makes Lauren look up. “You want to cuddle Nala?”

“You’re not cuddling me and I need something to snuggle,” Camila rolls her eyes, “You don’t-”

“Okay,” Lauren interrupts her, turning back to her painting, “you can cuddle her. I was just surprised that you’d want to.”

“Of course I want to,” Camila grins, “she has like, magic powers or something that make you calm. No wonder you love her so much.”

Lauren hums. “She’s not magic, I don’t think. She’s just cuddly and nice and my favourite toy ever and I’ll never get rid of her.”

Camila laughs, but instead of explaining that she was just kidding, smiles at her girlfriend – who _still_ isn’t paying her much attention – and grabs Nala, pulling the stuffed lion close. “Let me know when you finish your painting, Laur.”

“Okay.”

With that, Camila settles down under Lauren’s covers – because if she’s going to be there for a while, she might as well get comfortable – and gets started on the next chapter of her book. She’s read around six chapters, which takes her nearly an hour, when Lauren finally puts her paintbrush down and turns to her with a shy smile.

“I’m finished,” Lauren announces, “but I need to wash up my palette and brushes.”

Camila nods. “Need any help?”

“No, I’ll be fine.” Lauren stands up and grabs her messy art supplies, heading towards the bathroom. She stops for a second, rocking on her heels. “You- um, look really cute. With Nala, I mean.”

“Thank you, baby girl,” Camila smiles and gives the stuffed lion a squeeze. “She’s almost as good of a cuddle buddy as you are.”

Lauren blushes. “I’ll- um, be right back.”

With that, she ducks into the bathroom, and Camila can’t make her smile go away. She’s still smiling about how cute her girlfriend is when Lauren comes back out of the bathroom with clean art supplies, puts them away in a drawer and sits down next to her.

“Hi,” Lauren says when Camila doesn’t look up. “Can you- um… since this is kind of a party, like, a friend party, I was wondering if- if you’d do my makeup for me.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “You want to wear makeup tonight?”

“Yes,” Lauren bobs her head in reply and rubs a hand up and down her thigh. “Usually Manibear would do it, but… but she’s not here and everyone gets here in an hour and I like to be prepared so I’d like you to do it. If that’s okay.”

Camila smiles, marks her place in her book and sits up. “Sure. I’ll do your makeup for you, babe.”

Lauren taps out a pattern on the bedsheets. “I will- um, go borrow my mom’s makeup. I’m sure she won’t mind, she always asks me if I’d like to wear makeup regularly, so she shouldn’t mind me using it one time. I’ll text her to make sure, though.”

Lauren stands up and makes her way out of the room, coming back a few minutes later carrying Clara’s entire makeup drawer.

“Okay, uh,” Camila rifles through everything, “what do you want me to do?”

Lauren frowns. “My makeup.”

“No, babe,” Camila cuts herself off with a laugh, “I mean like… what kind of look do you want? And what sort of makeup do you want me to use?”

“Um…” Lauren pauses in thought, and eventually shrugs, “I don’t know. Just- um, make me look pretty.”

“You’re already pretty,” Camila reaches over and squeezes Lauren’s hand. “I’ll just do… generally what I do for myself. Plus some winged eyeliner. You’d look really hot with that.”

Lauren nods and closes her eyes. “Okay, do my makeup now, please.”

Camila digs out the concealer and gets started. As she’s brushing it across the bridge of Lauren’s nose, she smiles. “You know, I’m actually glad you don’t wear makeup every day. You have these really cute little freckles on the bridge of your nose and they’re so adorable.”

Lauren scrunches up her nose when Camila starts with the foundation. “I don’t like that feeling. The brush, I mean. But thank you for thinking my freckles are cute.”

“All of you is cute,” Camila replies, trying to get the foundation done as quickly as possible so she can move onto something else. “Eyeliner time. Apologies in advance, because I’m notorious for making one eye better than the other.”

Lauren shrugs. “I trust you. You’ll do well. Just be quick because I don’t like the way it presses on my eyelid.”

“I promise I’ll be quick,” Camila brushes Lauren’s hair back and kisses the top of her head. “Considering you hate the process of putting makeup on, you’re doing really well. But… distractions would be good, right? Tell me about your day.”

“I woke up at eleven thirty-five, and then spent a little while in bed playing iPhone games because I felt tired, and then I had some Cheerios with no milk,” Lauren rambles, “after that I went on Tumblr for a little while, and then watched some TV, and then started my painting. Then you came over and I finished my painting and now we’re doing this.”

Once Camila finishes Lauren’s eyeliner, she kisses her cheek. “What about yesterday? What’d you do then?”

“I… painted other things,” Lauren says, and Camila readies the mascara, “I also- _no_ , I don’t like that, you could poke me in the eye.”

Camila moves the mascara away. “I won’t poke you in the eye, Laur. I know I’m clumsy, but I’m not _that_ bad.”

Lauren hums. “Be quick.”

“Quick as I can,” Camila promises, and she does Lauren’s mascara as quickly as possible without making it look terrible. “There. All done. Do you want anything else?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head, “wait, yes, I want you to kiss me.”

Camila complies, giving Lauren a quick kiss and squeezing her girlfriend’s hand. “Anyway, your makeup is all done, but there’s still the whole outfit situation. Or are you planning on staying in your Simba onesie?”

“Um,” Lauren pauses in thought, before shaking her head, “no.”

“Then it’s settled,” Camila grins, “I’ll pick your outfit for you.”

Before Lauren can say anything, Camila is already digging through the closet and pulling out a pair of shorts and a black crop top. She tosses them onto the bed, and Lauren picks them up, quickly changing out of her onesie, and managing to catch the black and white plaid shirt Camila throws in her direction.

Once she’s pulled that on, she stands in front of her girlfriend and straightens herself out. “Do I look good?”

“You look perfect,” Camila promises her, kissing her cheek, “come on, let’s go downstairs and wait for the girls to show up. We can watch Netflix or-”

“Or _The Lion King_?” Lauren asks, rocking on her heels. “Please?”

Camila lets out a long huff, but it’s accompanied by a small smile. “Can we at least watch _The Lion King 1 1/2?_ We don’t watch that one too much.”

“Okay,” Lauren smiles and grabs her hand, tugging her downstairs.

Camila follows her with a grin.

-

“I’m tired.”

Camila laughs at Lauren’s greeting – while she’d been sat observing their drunken friends, the older Latina had been talking to Lucy and Keana – and she pulls her girlfriend onto her lap. “Well, you _did_ say that weed makes you sleepy.”

“Mhm,” Lauren plays with Camila’s fingers and glances up at her, her bright green eyes a little glazed over. “I had a dream about raccoons last night.”

Camila snorts. “What do you think provoked that?”

“Don’t know,” Lauren mumbles, “they had beaks.”

“Raccoons don’t have beaks, Laur,” Camila laughs, but cuts herself off when Lauren shuffles around on her lap so she’s facing her, and leans in to kiss her. “Maybe you were thinking of geese. They’d peck your eyes out.”

Lauren pulls a disgusted face. “That’s gross. Ducks have beaks.”

“Uh huh,” Camila nods, “they do. You’re right about that.”

“Lions don’t, though,” Lauren continues, glancing up at her from under her eyelashes. “Sometimes I wish I was a lion. Like, a real one. Because they can just run free in the wild, but I have to do school and have a _career_ and responsibilities, but I don’t want to do that. I want to run free in the wild.”

Camila laughs. “You know, that reminds me of this thing I read online about a guy who abandoned his life to go be a goat. That could be you, but with lions. And, I mean, seven year old Lolo wanted to be a lion.”

Lauren’s jaw drops. “What if I’m psychic?”

“Oh my god,” Camila giggles to herself, “I love high Lauren.”

“But you love all the Laurens,” Lauren murmurs, playing with her hair, “you’d love me no matter what. Except if I was mean, but I’m never mean. I don’t think I am, anyway, but some people might think that, because everything depends on perspectives and it’s weird.”

“Trust me, nobody thinks you’re mean, Laur,” Camila assures her, dotting kisses across her girlfriend’s face. “Everyone knows you’re the purest human on the planet.”

“Purity is- is a concept,” Lauren mutters, “I don’t think- that’s not me. I’m- I’m fucking _high_ , Camz. That’s not- not pure.”

“I know, you’re totally going to hell for smoking the devil’s lettuce,” Camila jokes, “but I mean, you’re pure because you’re so sweet and you don’t judge.”

“I’m not a judge,” Lauren frowns at her, “I don’t work in a court. It’d be funny if I did though.”

Camila shakes her head. “Not what I meant, Lolo.”

“One time I got high and watched conspiracy videos,” Lauren tells her. “It gave me a headache because I was thinking too much. Like, what if the illuminati is _real_. _You_ could be a part of it. _Anyone_ could be a part of it.”

Camila laughs. “I’m not sure that’s how it works-”

Lauren ignores her, and turns her attention to Lucy and Keana, who are walking by after getting more drinks. “Guys, are you in the illuminati?”

Lucy shakes her head. “I don’t think so. But I could be without knowing it, I guess.”

Keana laughs. “Come on, Luc. You’re way too sweet for that.”

“What if _I’m_ in the illuminati?” Lauren blinks in surprise, and then rubs at her eyes for a few moments. Then, she glances up at Keana. “Are you dating Lucy yet, then?”

Lucy frowns. “You want to date me?”

“Uh,” Keana, who has turned bright red, shrugs and takes Lucy’s hand. “Let’s leave the little stoner here with her girlfriend. I think we need to talk.”

Lauren watches as her friends go, and then she turns back to Camila with a grin. “Did I match-make? I’m a good captain. First Norminah, and now… Leana. Yeah.”

Camila sends Lauren a fond smile and pulls her girlfriend closer. “You’re a good captain, Laur. A little blunt, but I guess that’s good in a world full of implications. Especially when two people like each other and are too scared to tell.”

“That’s dumb,” Lauren says, “I- I always tell my crushes when I like them. Like you! The time I was going to ask you to homecoming, and then I didn’t because bad stuff happened, but after that…”

“The girls kind of told me you liked me before you did.” Camila says, getting Dinah’s attention. “Right, China? You told me that Lauren might have a crush on me.”

“Because you were oblivious as hell,” Dinah shouts, detaching herself from Normani for a moment. “Seriously, Lauser doesn’t even know what subtlety is.”

“I’m- I’m not…” Lauren trails off, “Do you think in an alternate universe, raccoons have beaks?”

Camilla bursts out laughing at the _what the fuck_ look on Dinah, Normani and Ally’s faces. Even Lucy and Keana, who’re stood in the corner having a quiet conversation, look up in confusion. “Thinking about your dream again, Laur?”

“Yes,” Lauren says. “It’s like, so fucked up. Who dreams that _raccoons_ have _beaks_? Well, me, I guess, but- but it’s just _weird_. I think my brain was muddled.”

“You sure you didn’t just smoke too much?” Camila asks, and Lauren shakes her head before yawning and cuddling up to her. “Tired, still?”

“Yes,” Lauren replies, “can we go snowboarding? Actually, no, you’d probably break your neck. Luc, Keana, can we go swim- I mean, snowboarding? We can take Alexa, too.”

Lucy smiles, and after giving Keana a kiss on the cheek, skips over to them. “I’ll snowboard. I think I’d be good at it, because I can skateboard. Anyway, Lo, are you going to light another joint?”

“I don’t want to move,” Lauren complains, cuddling up to Camila. “Camz, carry me?”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Carry yourself.”

“Fine,” Lauren glances back over at Lucy, “Luc, carry me.”

“I’m not that strong,” Lucy tells her, and Camila lets out a little _hah_ in triumph, poking Lauren in the side. “You look sleepy.”

“I am,” Lauren says, playing with Camila’s hand. “Don’t you think Camz is pretty? I do.”

Lucy glances at Camila and shrugs. “Yeah. I like Keana, though. Thanks for telling me that, by the way. We’re going out next week.”

“I do,” Lauren repeats, turning to Camila and cupping her cheeks with her hands, “Why are you so pretty? Genetics are weird. Why are some people really pretty, like you and Luc and all of our other friends, but others not? Like… I can’t think of an example, but… why are you prettier than everyone, Camz? It’s not fair.”

Camila blushes and gives Lauren a quick kiss, mostly to shut her up. “You’re too sweet.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Lauren says, waving to Lucy as she heads back over to Keana. Camila doesn’t have much chance to answer Lauren’s question though, because her girlfriend starts talking again. “Oh my god, it’s like how some people can sing and others can’t. Like… you being prettier than everyone, you know? You can sing too, but my abuelito can’t, and I don’t get why some people can and other people can’t. I’m going to research it when I get home.”

Camila tries not to laugh. “Lauren, you’re already _at_ home.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Lauren blinks, “I forgot about that. Usually we have these get-togethers at Mani’s.”

Camila smirks. “Does that mean you’re going to go research it now?”

“I guess so,” Lauren stands up and stretches, “come with me?”

“Well, someone has to look after you,” Camila says, standing up and taking hold of Lauren’s hand. She follows her girlfriend out of the room, ignoring Dinah’s shout of _get some, Ralph_ , Normani’s laughter and Ally’s _don’t be inappropriate_ , and heads up the stairs and into Lauren’s room.

The older girl opens up her laptop and switches it on, cringing a little at the bright screen. “It’s like the sun.”

“Not really,” Camila replies, “looking at the sun would blind you. This isn’t even that bright. It’s probably because the room downstairs was pretty dark except for all of your fairy lights.”

“Why are they called fairy lights?” Lauren asks aloud, but her computer loads up and she types it into google instead. “It’s because they’re small like fairies. According to Yahoo answers. But that’s not a very reliable site, so I’m not sure. How do we know fairies are little? Nobody’s ever _seen_ one. That’s like… like you saying _Lauren Jauregui is tall_ before you met me, because you’d never seen me so you wouldn’t _know_ that. And I’m actually average height.”

Camila shakes her head and gives Lauren a kiss on the cheek. “Baby, I didn’t know a Lauren Jauregui existed until I met you, so how could I have guessed your height?”

“Psychic abilities,” Lauren says, “or- or, you could’ve remembered an alternate universe where you know me, but you can’t remember that much so you don’t know I’m not really tall. Or maybe you had a dream about me. But you didn’t… didn’t remember my height from the dream, because you can’t look at the ground in dreams. Well, you can, but you’re like, floating.”

“I’ve never been self-aware in a dream before, Laur,” Camila kisses the top of her head and reaches around her to open up Lauren’s google settings. “So I can’t relate. Can we read your search history?”

Lauren hums. “Okay. It might be funny.”

Camila finds the search history tab and decides to look through past dates; Lauren’s current search history doesn’t seem all that interesting since the last thing she’d searched – barring the fairy lights thing – was _hakuna matata – official audio_. Not all that scandalous, in Camila’s opinion.

She searches for a date before they’d gotten together, and immediately smirks at the first thing that pops up. “ _How to ask a girl out when you’re a girl too and you don’t want her to think it’s just platonic because you really like her?_ That’s… the dorkiest thing ever.”

“I don’t think that got many results.” Lauren murmurs, “My google searches never really get results when I try to be as specific as possible, and that doesn’t make sense.”

“Oh my god, Lo,” Camila tries her hardest not to laugh, “ _what to do when your girlfriend sits on you._ Are you serious? Was this from when I ended up in your lap when we were kissing?”

“Um…” Lauren shrugs. “Probably. I was just… confused. I think. Don’t ask me to explain them right now because I’m kind of high, Camz. Did you not notice?”

“No, you’re totally being subtle right now,” Camila sarcastically responds, running her fingers through Lauren’s hair. “Oh my god, this one’s the best – _how to seduce a pretty girl_. You’re so fucking cute.”

“What- what about-” Lauren pauses and scrolls down a little, “ _how to go on a first date with someone and make it really good._ That’s where I read about holding doors open for your date. Now that I think about it, holding doors open for your date should just be a thing that happens. I hold doors open for everyone. Like little old ladies. But I don’t want to date them.”

“Oh my god, Lauren,” Camila points out another one, “this one is so… innocent. _How to kiss properly_. Aw, baby.”

Camila starts dotting kisses around Lauren’s face, and then older Latina scrunches her nose up and shoves her away. “Stop getting slobber on me.”

“You like my slobber,” Camila emphasises her point by kissing Lauren and sticking her tongue out at the last possible second. “Take that.”

“You’re mean,” Lauren rubs at her eyes, “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Camila ruffles Lauren’s hair, “are you going to research what you came up here for?”

Lauren blinks at her. “What was I going to research?”

Camila sends her a fond smile. “Never mind. Let’s get back to our friends before we get carried away with the google searches, okay?”

“Google is a marvellous invention,” Lauren says as Camila ushers her out of the room. “It saves me from asking other people, who might make fun of me for asking questions like that. You just made fun of me for it. I just made fun of me for it. I’m fun and-”

“Lauren,” Camila cuts her off, “I know what we should do for the rest of the night.”

“What?”

Camila grins, albeit a little evilly. “Board games.”

“I love those,” Lauren beams, “I think it’s quite stupid they’re called _board_ games, because I’m not _bored_ while I’m playing them. They’re fun. Like me.”

“Go round everyone up and I’ll grab the Monopoly set.” Camila says, nudging her girlfriend towards the lounge. “I’ll be two minutes.”

“Okay.” Lauren gives her a quick kiss, flashes her a smile and then skips off into the front room.

For the first, and probably last time ever, Camila wins at Monopoly. She lets Lauren collect the light blue properties, but she takes the dark blue ones and builds houses and hotels and cackles evilly as everyone begrudgingly hands their fake money over to her.

Lauren uses her puppy dog eyes in an attempt to get free money, but Camila just shakes her head and passes her the dice with a quick, _“_ It’s your turn.”

Perks of being the only sober one at a party – you’re guaranteed to win at board games. And beating Lauren Jauregui at a board game is something Camila’s definitely going to be gloating about for years.


	66. Chapter 66

“I hate exams.”

“I think everyone does,” Lauren says, pulling Nala closer to her and flipping through her textbook. “Though, I’m very smart, so I’m not too worried.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not,” Camila slams her textbook closed with a sigh. “I hate this. Fuck high school and fuck college. I just want to go back to kindergarten.”

“I don’t, I didn’t like kindergarten much, because I wasn’t at the same school as Ally, Mani and DJ and I didn’t have any friends at my first school,” Lauren rambles, “I preferred second grade because that’s when I met them.”

“I’m just so _stressed_ ,” Camila huffs and rests her head on the desk. “Fuck it. I’ll just fail. I don’t care anymore.”

“Yes you do,” Lauren tells her, “you’d be upset if you failed and you’d feel super bad about it, and then you’d mope around and say you’re not good at anything, but you’re good at lots of things.”

“I hate this,” Camila continues, Lauren’s words fading into the back of her mind. “I’ll fail out of high school, you’ll dump me for someone better and everything will go wrong. Fuck these stupid exams and my god damn brain for not absorbing the information.”

“Camila,” Lauren pokes her in the arm. “Don’t be mean about yourself.”

Camila looks up with a glare. “I suck. I can be mean to myself if I want.”

Lauren shakes her head. “No. You can’t. Because I’ll have to be extra nice to you.”

“Look, you mean well and junk and I know that, but my head hurts and I’m stressed and I don’t want to snap at you,” Camila says, shoving her textbook into her backpack. “I’m going to sit outside or something.”

“No, that’s a good idea!” Lauren stands up too, “We should study outside. It’s warm and it’s sunny, and fresh air is good for the brain. I think. So… yes, let’s find a bench or sit on the grass and study.”

“I kind of meant…” Camila goes to tell Lauren she’d rather be alone, but the older girl is beaming at her and pulling her out of the library, and she doesn’t have the heart to say no. “Fine. We’ll study outside. Maybe it’ll make this headache go away.”

“I have some Tylenol in my bag,” Lauren tells her, tucking Nala under her arm. “I can give you some when we find a suitable place to sit. That’ll make your headache go away.”

“I guess so,” Camila says as Lauren leads them out to the courtyard. It’s empty – most people are in class, since they’re on a free period right now – so they don’t have much trouble in finding a bench to sit at.

Once they’re sat down, Lauren rummages through her backpack and holds out some Tylenol and a bottle of water. “There. I don’t want your head to ache.”

Camila sends her a weak smile and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “Thank you, Laur.”

“It’s okay,” Lauren says, reopening her textbook and flipping to the right page. “Anyway, let’s continue on with what we were doing before. We need to go over the essay structure, because if you follow my formula in the exam when you get the question, it can’t go wrong, really. As long as you make sure to get facts in there and stick with a single point, you’ll do well in history. I made you a little guide thing for you to practice with before the exam…”

Camila tunes out and drops her head on Lauren’s shoulder, her nerves easing a little when Lauren’s hand starts running through her hair. She’s incredibly stressed, because she’s never done well in exams. Classwork is easier for her – there’s a lot less pressure to deal with – whereas with exams, you only get one shot, and if you’re stuck, the teachers won’t help you.

Because of the stress the whole ‘one chance’ thing gives her, she always ends up worrying too much and then she freaks out in the exam and inevitably fails.

Even though finals don’t officially start until next week, she’s so nervous that the exams might as well be today. She feels like she’s going to throw up, and she knows she’ll feel absolutely awful for the rest of the week. Then, she’ll feel horrible while waiting on her results. And when she gets the results and sees all of the ‘F’s when Lauren’s report card will be full of A’s, she’ll feel even worse about herself.

“Camz?” Lauren’s voice snaps her back into reality. “Are you okay? You’re breathing really heavy.”

“I’m fine,” Camila is quick to answer, but her headache is ten times worse, and as Lauren pointed out, her breathing is getting kind of heavy. “Can I have another Tylenol?”

“You can’t have another dose for around four hours,” Lauren says, “that’s what it says on the box. Why? What’s wrong?”

“I’m just,” Camila shrugs and sits up, trying to think of something to get her mind off the looming exams, “overthinking.”

“Oh,” Lauren taps out a pattern on the table, “that’s not good.”

“No, it’s not,” Camila says, trying her best to keep her cool, “but we can’t afford to take any breaks if I want to pass. I need to get everything into my head or else I’ll-”

“You need a break if you’re upset,” Lauren closes the textbook again and cups Camila’s face, “Camz, look at me.”

Camila brings her gaze up to meet Lauren’s, and the older Latina sends her a shy smile, before she leans in and kisses her. When they break apart, Lauren pulls her in for a hug, and Camila isn’t sure if her heart is racing from the nerves or from Lauren’s kiss.

“I love you,” Camila mumbles, “I’m just really stressed. Exam season is probably the worst part of the year for me.”

Lauren squeezes her hand. “You’ll do really well, though. I know I’ll be right, because I’m really smart. I have a 5.0 GPA.”

Finally, Camila lets out a genuine laugh. “Yeah. You do.”

“I don’t know what’s funny, but I’m glad you’re smiling,” Lauren replies. “I’m going to go over my essay structure again, okay?”

At the mention of essays for exams, Camila’s stomach twists and she feels sick. But she swallows the lump in her throat and nods, because if she doesn’t study, she’ll definitely fail.

She tries her hardest to concentrate on Lauren’s words, but they all start jumbling together and sound all muffled, like she’s being held underwater. When she realises that she’s not taken anything in, she freaks out more than she already is and her breathing starts to pick up again until she’s hyperventilating

In seconds, the only thought that’s going through her mind is _fuck, I’m having a panic attack._

She feels Lauren touch her arm, and Camila shifts away from her, jumping up off the bench and backing away, screwing her eyes shut. All she wants is to _breathe_ , but the air isn’t meeting her lungs every time she sucks in a breath, and she feels like she’s dying.

She knows it’s in her head, and she knows that it’s all her fault her body is reacting this way, and that just makes her feel ten times worse.

She feels a pair of arms wrap around her, and she’s pulled against something warm, and soft fingers trace down her spine. Instinctively, she moves closer to the person, and buries her face into their shoulder. Lauren’s comforting scent surrounds her, and she moves as close to her girlfriend as she possibly can, trying to focus on the older Latina’s raspy voice that sounds like it’s a million miles away.

“I’m going to tell you about my day, because I know that when I get upset, I like distractions,” Lauren explains, her fingers weaving through Camila’s hair. “This morning I woke up at six and got dressed, but it took me a little while to pick out a sweater, because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to wear a navy one or a grey one. Then I went downstairs and had Cheerios, no milk, because I don’t like milk on my Cheerios. After that, I took Dash out for his morning walk, and he was super happy and excited because he loves walkies.”

“Can- can we,” Camila forces out, not looking up at her girlfriend, “can we take him out? Later?”

“Sure! I’ll show you the long route I take him on, because long walks are really relaxing, and we can hold hands the whole way,” Lauren smiles, tapping out a pattern on Camila’s back. For some reason, it’s soothing, “and then we can go home and watch _your_ favourite Disney movie, which is _Lilo and Stitch_ , because Disney movies are great when you’re sad.”

“Laur, we-” Camila shakes her head; as much as she wants to goof off with Lauren, it won’t be much help, “we need to study or- or I’ll fail. I’m not as smart as you-”

“No, but not many people are as smart as me.” Lauren interrupts her. “You _are_ very smart though, and I don’t lie, so you can tell that I’m being honest. And I believe in you and know you can pass these finals and get straight A’s.”

Camila looks up at her girlfriend through teary eyes. “Lo, I won’t-”

“You will! Don’t think about things that haven’t happened yet, because then you’re kind of writing your future yourself, and that’s not how the world works,” Lauren says, “if you convince yourself that you’re going to fail, you will. But you’re not going to, because you’re smart, and you _know_ the stuff you need in the exam. I promise. You’ll pass everything and then we’ll graduate and then… everything will be good. We’ll be in New York and we’ll get to make snowmen in the winter time and have snowball fights and- and have ice cream even though it’s cold.”

Camila lets out a weak laugh. “You _would_ want ice cream. Addict.”

Lauren giggles, and it’s the cutest sound Camila’s ever heard. “At least I’m not addicted to meth.”

“True,” Camila says, giving Lauren a rather watery kiss. “I think… I think you’re right. Maybe I- I do need a break.”

Lauren bobs her head. “For today. We will pick up tomorrow, though I am going to give you the things I photocopied so you can have them at your house. Like my essay structure.”

“Okay,” Camila wipes at her eyes and rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder. “Sorry for getting all freaked.”

“You can’t help it.” Lauren shrugs. “Anxiety does that. And… I’m glad you’re feeling better. And that you let me calm you down.”

“You always make me calm,” Camila mumbles, “I’m safe with you.”

Lauren beams. “I’m your home. Like you’re mine. Because we’re soulmates.”

“Yeah.” Camila finally flashes a genuine smile when she meets Lauren’s gaze. “Soulmates.”

“Here,” Lauren places Nala on her lap, “you can cuddle Nala. She’ll make you happy, I promise.”

Camila hugs the stuffed lion to her chest, not caring who sees her, and cuddles up to Lauren. “I love you, Lolo lion.”

“I love you too,” Lauren smiles brightly, “I’m your Lolo lion, I’ll protect you from- from… stuff. Because lions are all mighty and strong.”

Camila smiles. “I’d protect you too, but you do a pretty good job of that yourself. I’m always going to be there when you need me, though.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “and I do need you. I need you to walk Dash with me tonight.”

“I will,” Camila beams. “And I want to have blue blanket and chill, okay?”

“Blue blanket and chill?” Lauren frowns. “Well, my special blue blanket is very warm, so I don’t think that’s possible. We won’t be cold, because it’s weighted and fluffy and cuddly. We can’t chill.”

Camila laughs and ruffles Lauren’s hair. “It’s an expression, baby. I know we’ll be warm under your blanket.”

“Oh, well, I’ll let you cuddle under my blanket if you’d like,” Lauren smiles, and Camila has to bite down on her lip to stop from smiling at her girlfriend’s innocence. “But we have to stay in my bedroom, because my family will be in.”

“Can I sleep over?” Camila asks. “I’d rather not be alone tonight.”

“Of course you can!” Lauren beams. “I love falling asleep next to you. It’s the best. And I’ll get to do it for my whole life.”

Camila smiles to herself, because the thought of falling asleep next to Lauren every night might just get her through these exams.

-

“I love fresh air,” Lauren says as she plays with Dash’s leash, “That’s why I love giving my dog walkies.”

Camila watches as Lauren unclips Dash’s leash and throws a tennis ball as far as she can. “How many tricks have you taught him?”

“Well, he’s housetrained. And- and he knows _sit_ and _paw_ ,” Lauren lists, rocking on her heels, “and he can play fetch. He’s really smart. I’m trying to teach him _play dead_ because I’ve seen videos of dogs on the internet doing that, and I think it’s really cute.”

“You’re cute,” Camila retorts, watching as Dash brings the tennis ball back, dropping it at Lauren’s feet. “Can I give him a treat?”

“Okay,” Lauren passes her the bag of treats, and Camila gets out a bone shaped biscuit and holds it out for Dash, “good boy, Dash. I want him to like me, you know, since he’s kind of going to be my dog too when we move in together.”

“He already likes you,” Lauren says, smiling down at her puppy, “Dash, you like Camzi, right?”

Almost as if he understands, Dash yaps in reply, and runs to chase after the tennis ball when Lauren throws it again.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Camila says as Lauren leads her to a bench, keeping an eye on Dash, “We need to start looking for a place to live. We can’t really go in student dorms, since you’re not allowed pets in those.”

“My dad has been helping me look, because I don’t know much about buying houses,” Lauren replies, tapping out a pattern against the bench. “I’m a little frightened about moving though.”

Camila takes Lauren’s hand and gives it a small squeeze. “Why? I thought you were excited about moving to New York. You know, so you can be around snow in the winter time.”

“Well, yes, that’ll be lovely and I’m really looking forward to making a snowman with you,” Lauren says, “but… it’s just, it’s all _change_ and it’s _new_ and I don’t like change. I’ve lived in the same house my whole life and now- now I’ll be somewhere _else_. It upsets me. Everything will be different and unfamiliar and it makes me upset to think about it.”

Camila pulls Lauren close and kisses her girlfriend’s forehead in an attempt to make her feel better. “Think of it like your school timetable. Even if it’s much bigger than that, it’s kind of the same thing. You’ll get used to the new routine and eventually that’ll be the thing that’s familiar to you. Coming home for the holidays will be like a disruption in your regular routine. And you’ll have some familiarity; me and Dash will be there.”

“Dash and I,” Lauren corrects her; apparently being upset doesn’t mean that the Grammar Queen isn’t going to correct her. “It’s just _scary_ , because I won’t be able to watch _The Lion King_ with my mom whenever I want and if I get upset because of the new things I can’t go to my parents about it because they’ll be here and I’ll be _there_.”

“FaceTime is a thing, Laur,” Camila reminds her, opening up Lauren’s clenched fist and tracing three circles on her girlfriend’s palm. “I know it’s not the same as talking face to face, and it’ll take a lot of getting used to, but… but we’ll manage. And I’ll be there to help you while we’re settling in.”

Lauren doesn’t look too assured. “I’m still scared.”

“Come _on_ , Lo,” Camila rolls her eyes, “you’re Lolo lion. You’re mighty and brave and you’re going to make the world your bitch.”

“I… yeah,” Lauren says, her cheeks tinted pink, “I’m brave. And- and you’ll be there… helping me make the world my- uh, my _bitch_.”

“Exactly,” Camila grins, “Camren world domination is inevitable. You’ll be the president of everything and I’ll be… your faithful companion.”

Lauren hums. “That sounds nice. If I was in charge, I would- would make everyone who uses the ‘r’ word go to jail. And… and I’d end racism and homophobia and stuff like that by making it illegal and sending those people to jail too.”

“Well, while you make your plans for what you’re going to do when you take over the world,” Camila says, “I’m going to buy you an ice cream.”

“Oh, we can take Dash home and then go to my favourite ice cream place in the car,” Lauren stands up and calls Dash over, clipping his leash back on him. “I would like a triple scoop strawberry cone, please.”

Camila tries her hardest not to laugh. “I guess we’re going to the beach, then.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “for triple scoop strawberry cones.”

Lauren is mostly silent on the way back to her house, occasionally humming while Camila rambles on about trivial things like the movies she wants to see this summer and how much she’s looking forward to them going to Spain in a few weeks after graduation.

When they arrive back at Lauren’s house, Camila remembers something else. “What do you want for your birthday, by the way?”

“Do you think-” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and glances up at Camila nervously, “I don’t want to lose touch with Ally, Mani and Dinah. When we move. I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

Completely forgetting what she’d asked Lauren about her birthday, Camila takes Lauren’s hand. “Of course we’ll stay in contact with them. Ally will make sure we have a Skype date at least once a week, and Mani and Dinah wouldn’t let you guys lose touch.”

Lauren hums. “Will I make new friends at college, too? Because I’m not the best at making friends, but I’d like to.”

“Then go out, be unapologetically you, and everyone will love you,” Camila promises, “and don’t worry about Mani, Dinah and Ally. The girls are _sisters_ to us. That won’t change just because we’re a few miles apart.”

Lauren nods. “Okay. I believe you.”

“As you should,” Camila grins, “I’m pretty wise when I want to be.”

Lauren snorts. “No you’re not. I believe you because I trust you and know that you wouldn’t lie to me.”

Camila shrugs. “Whatever, I can lie to myself if I want to.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods and after giving Dash a treat, points to the door. “Can we go get ice cream now?”

“Sure, Laur,” Camila takes her hand and pulls her out to the car. “Let’s go.”

The car ride to the ice cream parlour is mostly just Camila trying to make Lauren listen to as much bubblegum pop as she can, and attempting to spark a mini dance party to make the drive a little more exciting.

Lauren, however, has a different idea, and insists on putting her stim playlist on for the drive. After a few overly exaggerated groans, Camila lets her put it on, and when they finally find a decent parking space, lets Lauren drag her to the ice cream store without complaint.

She buys Lauren’s triple scoop strawberry cone and lets her girlfriend pay for hers, and instead of sitting down at a table like they usually would, Lauren insists on holding hands and walking down the beach.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Lauren gets her attention.

“Are you- are you feeling better?” Lauren stammers, staring down at her feet. “I- you’re acting way happier than you were at school, and… but I wasn’t sure if you’re really feeling better, because you could just be pretending to make me- make me not worry, since I’m not good at reading body language, and I just really wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

It takes a few seconds for Lauren’s words to sink in, and when they do, she pulls her girlfriend in for a hug, careful not to knock the ice cream out of her hand. “ _Lauren_. You’re so sweet.”

“I- I was just…” Lauren’s cheeks turn pink and she stares down at the ground, “checking. I wanted to be sure.”

“I’m a lot better, baby girl,” Camila assures her, kissing her cheek, “you really cheered me up. You’re such a good girlfriend and I know that you’re going to help me through exam season just by being there for cuddles.”

Lauren beams. “Good! I’m glad you’re happier now, because I’d be upset if- if you were still sad. And you have ice cream now, which always makes people happy. Ice cream is the best. Would you like to taste some of mine?”

“Sure,” Camila has a taste of Lauren’s strawberry ice cream, and it’s alright, but she’s never really liked strawberry ice cream. She’s more of a banana flavoured kind of girl. “It’s nice. I wouldn’t be able to eat the whole thing, though.”

“I think chocolate ice cream is yucky,” Lauren absentmindedly replies, “it’s like, the most popular flavour, but it’s- it’s _too_ much, sometimes. Like, too much chocolate. I don’t really like chocolate.”

Camila smiles. “I know. Popcorn’s your go-to snack.”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums in agreement, “mostly buttered, but salted is also acceptable.”

“You’re such a cutie,” Camila says, squeezing Lauren’s free hand. “Like, everything you do is adorable. Even when you’re complaining about chocolate ice cream being too chocolatey.”

“It is, though,” Lauren pouts, “But thanks for calling me a cutie. Though, I’m not sure I’m as cute as you, because you’re all goofy and stuff, and I’m not. You’re- you’re the funny one.”

Camila raises her eyebrows. “You’re pretty funny yourself. And I remember you saying that you don’t understand my jokes most of the time.”

“Sometimes I do,” Lauren says, “and even though everyone groans at them, I think they’re funny. I like it when you joke around, because it means you’re happy, and I want you to be happy all the time.”

“Nobody can be happy _every single second_ of every day of their life,” Camila replies, and noting Lauren’s crestfallen expression, grins, “ _but_ , I’ve been happy for most of the seconds in my life. Especially the seconds with you.”

Lauren blushes. “I make you smile.”

“Yeah,” Camila says, and proving Lauren’s point, beams as wide as she can. “You make me smile.”


	67. Chapter 67

To Camila’s complete surprise, she actually makes it through exam season. She has a few blips – one of them when she’s studying with Lauren and gets super stressed, throwing all of the books and worksheets off the table in a fit of rage – but other than that, she’s relatively okay.

(Probably because Lauren’s always there to bring her back to earth.)

After their last final, Camila and Lauren spend their last week as high school seniors goofing off, and before they know it, graduation day has arrived and she’s rolling her eyes as Lauren is refusing to wear her graduation cap.

“I don’t like it,” Lauren scowls as Camila pushes it onto her head, “It feels weird. So does this gown, why do we have to wear these, they’re not made of nice material. Can’t I just wear one of my sweaters?”

Camila laughs. “Laur, you’re valedictorian. You can’t show up in a sweater and jeans.”

“Why _not_?” Lauren pouts. “I like my sweaters, they’re nice and cuddly.”

“Well… I’ll make a compromise. Go upstairs, take off the t-shirt you have on under there and put a sweater on.” Camila says. “You might get too hot, but you love wearing clothes that’ll possibly give you heatstroke, so I’m guessing you’ll be fine.”

“No, I don’t want to wear this at all, it’s annoying,” Lauren complains. “I just want to wear one of my sweaters. Why can’t I?”

“Because this is like, tradition or something,” Camila shrugs, “ _and_ you’re valedictorian. You have to set a good example for everyone. Actually, have you- have you got your speech prepared? And how are you feeling about it? Nervous or are you okay?”

Lauren blinks at her. “You asked too many questions. Which one would you like me to answer first?”

Camila smiles and kisses Lauren’s forehead. “Have you got your speech prepared?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “It’s- it’s not super long, but… I think it’s okay. My dad offered to proof read for me, but- but if I’m valedictorian, obviously I can proof read it myself, because I have a 5.0 GPA.”

Camila tries hard not to laugh at what’s basically her girlfriend’s catchphrase. “Mhm. Anyway, how are you feeling about it?”

Lauren frowns. “About what?”

“Making your speech,” Camila clarifies, squeezing Lauren’s hand, “public speaking.”

“Oh,” Lauren shrugs and looks down at her feet, “I mean… I’m- I’m not _really_ scared about it, but I’m still nervous. Because- because obviously the school think I’m capable of making it or- or they wouldn’t have picked me.”

“True,” Camila nods, “but are you sure you’re going to be alright? I want to be on guard in case you need me.”

“I think I’ll be fine. I- I might stutter, but… but that’s okay,” Lauren replies, “I managed to do that speaking presentation in Spanish, and that wasn’t too bad. We still got an A, even though I stuttered. So… I’ll be alright. I believe in myself.”

“I believe in you, too,” Camila promises her, “I think it’ll be a great speech. Do I have any mentions in it? Because, I mean, I want everyone to know how amazing I am.”

Lauren stares at her. “Are you joking?”

“Yes, Laur,” Camila laughs, “I’m joking. I’m not _that_ egotistical. I _am_ a pretty good girlfriend, though. I’ll give myself that.”

“No, I think you’re amazing! It was just- your tone was weird.” Lauren explains herself, and Camila’s stomach flips at her girlfriend’s words. “That’s why I thought you were making a joke. I do mention you, though.”

“You do?” Camila blinks in surprise. “Really?”

“I don’t lie, Camz, I suck at that,” Lauren reminds her, “I mention you, that’s what I said.”

“Well, when you’re a famous artist and you win… whatever awards there are for artists,” Camila nudges her playfully, “I hope I get a little mention in that speech, too.”

“I will mention you in all my speeches,” Lauren pats her on the head in assurance and then grabs Camila’s graduation cap. “Put your cap on. Even though they’re not the most attractive hats in the world-”

Camila snorts, “No offence, Lolo, but you can’t exactly judge which hats are ugly and which hats aren’t.”

Lauren frowns at her. “I can’t?”

“No, because of your ugly hat from the zoo,” Camila reminds her with a smirk, “therefore all your hat judgements are invalid because of that fashion disaster.”

Lauren pouts. “You said you wouldn’t make fun of that anymore. I liked it and- and I wasn’t forcing you to wear it or anything.”

“Lolo,” Camila pulls her in for a kiss, “I’m just teasing you, babe. I think it’s cute how fashionably inept you can be sometimes.”

“I’m cute,” Lauren repeats with a small smile, “so are you. Love you.”

“I love you too,” Camila tells her, “Come on. We should head downstairs, we probably need to set off soon.”

“Can we go to Pizza Hut after?” Lauren asks her as Camila pulls her downstairs, “I like their ice cream. And their pizza, obviously. I’d like to go to Pizza Hut after.”

“I’m sure we can convince our parents,” Camila grins, “maybe they’ll come with us.”

“Even though I love my parents and I like yours too, I’d rather it was just us,” Lauren says, “I’d like to go on a date. Because even though we’re together, we don’t really go on _that_ many dates. Like, real ones where we say it’s a date. We spend lots of time together, but not really on dates.”

“So you want a Pizza Hut date because you like their ice cream?” Camila asks with a grin. “Okay. And I promise when we’re in New York, we’ll have a date night every week. We’ll pick a day and do something fun so you have a little routine, alright?”

“I’d like that,” Lauren smiles. “Can I have some popcorn?”

“Now?” Camila frowns, and Lauren nods in reply. “We’re leaving in like, five minutes.”

“Oh, okay then,” Lauren replies, “will people think it’s weird if I take Nala to graduation? Because… because I want her with me for my speech, in case I get scared.”

Camila shrugs. “If you need her there, take her. It doesn’t matter what other people think.”

“I… yeah,” Lauren nods, “you’re right. But… I think I’m going to leave her here. I- I can do this.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Camila kisses her, “you’re going to kick butt and deliver your speech perfectly, and then we’re going to go to Pizza Hut.”

“Yes,” Lauren bobs her head in reply. “I will… um, kick butt. Metaphorically, obviously, because I won’t… I won’t kick anyone’s butt. Maybe yours if you make fun of my hat again.”

“Ooh, feisty,” Camila teases her, “come on. Let’s go graduate from high school.”

-

When they arrive at graduation, Camila is pretty sure she’s more nervous than Lauren is, and she’s not the one making a speech. It freaks her out a little – high school felt like a really large chunk of her life, especially the past two years – and she’s not sure she’s ready to move on.

(College sounds way more stressful.)

So, Camila focuses her energy on making Lauren feel better about the speech, because as the ceremony drags on, Camila picks up on her girlfriend’s nervous stims and tries to make her feel as secure as possible.

Eventually, it gets to the valedictorian speech, and Camila feels a surge of pride when she sees her girlfriend up in front of everyone, not looking as nervous as she probably feels.

“Um… hi,” Lauren starts, and Camila bites down on her bottom lip to stop herself from smiling. Lauren is the only person in the world that can make a _hi_ sound cute. “So… I’m not very good at this whole… public speaking thing. I never have been. And if- if someone asked me to do this in freshman year, I would’ve passed up the opportunity out of fear of this whole speaking thing. I’ve never been very good at talking to people, even when I was younger, and going into public education was a scary thing to do, and I’m proud of myself and everyone else graduating this year for getting through it.

“I didn’t really like high school at first, and I’m not sure that anyone can say that they like school,” A few people laugh, probably assuming that Lauren’s making a joke, and Camila smiles to herself when she sees Lauren glance up at them like they’re crazy. “Freshman year was hard, because even though I had my three best friends, it was a new place and everything was so scary. I think everyone can relate to feeling a little lost when they start high school, because you’re thrown into a brand new environment and everything is different for a while.

“Sophomore year was just as hard, not because things were new, but… but I’m kind of an outsider, even with my friends, who are the most amazing and accepting people in the world.” Lauren sends Normani, and Dinah a bright smile, and spots Ally with their families. “Other people aren’t as accepting, especially when they find out that I’m not just bisexual, but I’m autistic, too. But it’s okay, because my friends were always there to defend me, and eventually, I learned to… to defend myself.

“Junior year was when things got better. I was still scared of almost all of my classmates, but… but junior year was when I met the love of my life,” Lauren announces, and Camila’s stomach flips. A few people _aw_ at Lauren’s words, and Camila feels Dinah grip her hand and give it a small squeeze. “We didn’t get off to the best start, but… but eventually, I made myself open up and make a new friend for the first time in years. I never expected to fall in love with her, and I definitely didn’t think she’d love me back, because I was so shy and insecure and she seemed like the most confident person in the world to me. Well, except for Dinah.

Camila snorts with laughter at Lauren’s little afterthought, and Dinah mutters a _bitch_ and smacks her on the arm. Lauren notices their interaction and smiles, but continues on with her speech. “Meeting Camila was the highlight of my high school experience, and I really hope that everybody else met someone that means something to them, even if it’s just a friend or someone who helped you with homework one day. When Camila came into my life, she changed it for the better, and helped me… helped me become a lot more confident in myself. She’s the reason I’m up here talking right now. Well, that, and my 5.0 GPA.

Camila, Dinah, and Normani all laugh at Lauren’s words – and Camila’s pretty sure that if she looked over to Ally, she’s laughing too - and this time, the older girl glares at them. “If I hadn’t met Camila, I wouldn’t be as confident as I am now, and I’m thankful for the change that’s happened throughout my high school years. Four years ago, even the thought of making a speech like this would’ve scared me, but now, I’m up here and it’s not as scary as I thought it’d be. My point is, in high school we all go through changes. Some of them might be positive, and maybe there are negative changes too. High school years are essential to growth, and even though I still don’t understand why we have to learn trigonometry, our minds expand outside the classroom too.

“I genuinely hope that ten years from now, everyone who’s graduating right now is happy. Even if I never spoke to you or if you- if you were mean to me,” Camila sees that Lauren’s gaze is directed on Luis this time, “everyone deserves to be happy. When I was fourteen years old, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be happy or find- find real love. Now, I’m nearly nineteen and I have the two things I ever really wanted. Happiness and love. And everyone listening to me right now deserves that, so I hope that when you get your diploma and set out into the real world, the thing you’re going to pursue is something that will make you genuinely happy.”

When Lauren steps down from the stage, Camila doesn’t bother waiting for her to sit down again. Instead she gets up and pulls her girlfriend in for a tight hug, mumbling, “I’m so proud of you,” into Lauren’s neck.

Lauren pulls away, and meeting Camila’s gaze, sends her a bright smile. “I’m proud of me too.”

They sit back down, and Normani whispers _well done_ to Lauren. Dinah grins and says, “I’m surprised you didn’t faint up there, Lauser,” which is Dinah-speak for _I’m proud of you_.

After a few words from their principal, they start handing out diplomas, and before she knows it, Camila’s no longer a high school student. The thought is both terrifying and comforting – even though they still have prom to get through, she’s basically closed a chapter of her life and is starting a new one.

(But the new one has Lauren as a main character, so she doesn’t mind too much.)

After Ally congratulates them all and Camila and Lauren say hi to Dinah and Normani’s families, Lauren tugs on the sleeve of her graduation gown and sends her the infamous puppy dog eyes. “Can we go to Pizza Hut now?”

Camila laughs, “Alright. I’ll ask my parents if they can drop us off. And if they say no, then we’ll ask your parents.”

“Hey, you guys are going to Pizza Hut?” Dinah asks, and Camila nods. “Me, Mani and Ally are coming too.”

“Mani, Ally and _I_ ,” Lauren and Camila both say at the same time. Camila glances at Lauren with a grin. “Oh my god, you’re rubbing off on me.”

Dinah rolls her eyes. “Weirdos. Mani and _I_ drove here, so we can drive there together. Meet you at Mani’s car in five?”

“I- I guess so,” Camila answers, but Dinah’s already walked off to talk to Ally and let her know that they’re hijacking Lauren and Camila’s date. “Laur?”

Lauren, who is scowling down at the ground, glances up with an innocent expression on her face. “Yes?”

“We’ll go on a date tomorrow, okay?” Camila promises. “We can go to a different food chain. Chipotle, maybe?”

Lauren’s mood picks up. “Alright then. I’ll stop being mad at Dinah for interrupting our date.”

“Let’s let our parents know where we’re headed,” Camila says, tugging Lauren over to her mom, “Mom, Lauren and I are going on an impromptu pizza date. We won’t be long.”

Before Sinu can reply, Camila tugs Lauren over to Mike, and the older Latina repeats the same thing, and then they head off to Normani’s car, which isn’t parked too far away from where their parents are stood.

“Hey, wait up.”

When she hears the familiar voice, Camila stops and smiles. “Hey, Shawn.”

“Mila,” He replies, “Hey, Lauren. Nice speech.”

“Oh, thank you,” Lauren smiles and plays with Camila’s fingers, “did you end up getting Camz a present?”

“Yep,” Shawn grins and holds out a neatly wrapped box. Camila takes it, completely taken off guard. “For the tutoring. You’re like, the only reason I passed Spanish.”

“But you didn’t-” Camila shakes her head and stares down at the box, “you didn’t have to get me anything for that. I just wanted to help.”

He laughs. “I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to, and I got Lauren’s advice on what to buy.”

“Mhm,” Lauren confirms when Camila turns to her in surprise, “he asked me what things you like. I told him guitar stuff.”

“Anyway, I have to get back to my parents,” Shawn says, “text me and let me know if you like it, okay?”

Before Camila can say anything else, he’s jogged away to meet his family again. She decides to interrogate Lauren instead. “You knew he was going to get me something?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “anyway, let’s go to Pizza Hut now, I’m hungry.”

Camila laughs and jumps in the backseat of Normani’s car, wriggling out of her graduation gown and tossing it on the floor, laughing on impulse when Lauren picks it up and folds it neatly. She keeps Shawn’s present on her lap, deciding that she’ll open it when she gets home, and doesn’t bother shuffling over to the other side of the car. “I’m going to end up stuck in the middle, aren’t I?”

“Probably, because you’re the littlest.” Lauren says, “Well, you and Ally, but you’re quite small and you’ll probably cuddle up to me anyway.”

“That’s true,” Camila buckles herself in and rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder, confirming her girlfriend’s suspicions. “What pizza are you going to get?”

“Um, pepperoni with three pepperonis on each slice,” Lauren says, “because if I don’t have enough, I can steal some of your pepperoni.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Who says I’d let you?”

“I do,” Lauren simply replies, “can we watch _The Lion King_ later? You can come to my house and- and we’ll sit under my special blue blanket and cuddle.”

“I guess because it’s a special day,” Camila hums in thought, “sure. I’m pretty certain I’d be able to recite literally the entire movie, because you’ve made me watch it so much.”

Lauren hums. “Okay. The last time we were in the backseat of a car together, we had-”

“Oh. My. God,” Dinah grins at them both as she gets into the passenger seat, walking in at just the right moment to tease them. “You two had _car sex_? Wow. You’re way less nerdy and awkward than I thought, Ralph.”

“It was at Disneyworld,” Lauren comments, pulling Camila closer to here. “Where are Ally and Mani? I want to _go_.”

“They’re on their way,” Dinah rolls her eyes, “look, they’re walking over right now. Mani just went to change. Impatient, much?”

“Well, you’re crashing our date, so she has a right to be impatient,” Camila defends Lauren, squeezing her girlfriend’s hand as Normani gets in the driver’s seat and Ally joins them in the back. “You owe her your pepperonis, now.”

Dinah smirks. “I’ll get plain cheese, then.”

Lauren taps out a pattern on her leg. “I don’t- I don’t want your pepperoni, Dinah. Camz is just making a joke.”

Normani turns to Dinah with an amused grin. “Babe, stop winding my best friend up. Or I’ll have to dump you.”

Dinah lets out a mock gasp. “You _wouldn’t_.”

“She’s not- um, upsetting me, if that’s what you mean.” Lauren says. “Can we please set off now? I’m hungry.”

“Me too,” Ally agrees with her, “what are you getting, Lo?”

“Um, pepperoni and ice cream,” Lauren replies as Normani starts driving, “not at the same time, but- but… you know what I meant by that. Although, I mean, maybe if I got high I might try that.”

Camila grins. “I love high Lauren. She’s a confused little cutie.”

“You think all the Laurens are little cuties,” Normani points out, and Camila has to admit that she has a point. “If it was anyone else, I’d call you weird, but Lo’s my best friend so I agree.”

Dinah rolls her eyes. “Nobody’s as cute as me.”

Camila ignores her friends’ bickering and cuddles up to Lauren as best as she can. “Laur. We graduated.”

“I know,” Lauren mumbles, “I was there. Why are you reminding me?”

“Because,” Camila says, “this is our first official date as high school graduates. Even if it’s being crashed by our friends. And we’re officially college students now. In a few months, we’re starting our life together. Properly.”

Lauren blinks. “We already did that, didn’t we? When we started dating. Because we’re both alive and together.”

Camila laughs. “ _Lolo lion_ , I’m trying to be romantic, stop pointing out the obvious.”

“Oh,” Lauren smiles at her, “well, I’m excited to _start our life together_. Whatever you meant by that.”

“We’ll be living together,” Camila continues, “like… actual adults. I know our relationship has been serious for a while, but like, it’ll basically be how stuff will be when we’re married.”

Lauren hums in thought, a little more preoccupied by staring at the Pizza Hut sign. “But it won’t, because we won’t be married. Just living together.”

“I know that,” Camila says quickly, and as the car stops, she’s quick to grab Lauren’s hand and make sure that her girlfriend doesn’t go running off the second she opens the door, “but it’ll be _like_ we are. Because we’ll be living together and you’ll be my cute little girlfriend who cooks me three course meals every night.”

“I will cook for you if you’d like me to,” Lauren smiles down at her feet. “I’m a good cook. I can give you lessons too, because you’re not very good at cooking.”

Camila laughs. “Yeah, we probably _shouldn’t_ let me near any kitchen appliances. Especially ones that can set on fire. I’m almost as bad as Dinah.”

Dinah scoffs as they find a table for the five of them and sit down, “Hey, I’m not _that_ bad, I’m actually-”

“Dinah, you nearly burned my house down,” Ally interrupts her, sliding into the booth after Camila and Lauren, “I don’t think anyone should ever let you near an oven ever again.”

“That was an accident,” Dinah easily responds, “it’s not my fault that your kitchen has such good selfie lighting.”

Ally rolls her eyes. “It’s your fault for getting your phone out and opening Snapchat in the first place.”

“Honestly, D, Ally has a point,” Normani says, flicking through the menu, “even though those selfies you took were hot… maybe you could’ve waited until _after_ you finished using the oven.”

“God, you’re all ganging up on me,” Dinah huffs, “mess with Walz instead. She’s almost as bad as I am. It’s only a matter of time before she sets a kitchen on fire.”

“Nope,” Camila disagrees, “because I let Lauren deal with all of that. I know I’m a safety hazard.”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums in thought, “I’m her Lolo lion so I- I do the cooking, because lionesses are the ones that do the hunting. But I don’t hunt, I just go to the grocery store.”

“You’re so cute,” Camila pulls her girlfriend in for a hug, “Oh, I have something to ask you, actually. Might as well do it with witnesses.”

Lauren blinks. “Okay. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I was thinking about making some sort of grand proposal, even though I know the answer to my question already,” Camila starts, not being able to resist and pulling Lauren in for a quick kiss, “but you know what? I figure I’ll just ask.”

Lauren hums. “Do you want to know what my current sometimes favourites are? Because I’ve been listening to a lot of Kehlani lately.”

“You can tell me all about that later,” Camila says, “I wanted to ask you to prom.”

Lauren nods. “Okay, you can ask me.”

Realising that she hadn’t phrased that correctly, Camila clears her throat and says, “Laur, will you be my date to senior prom?”

“Of course I will,” Lauren beams, their friends _awing_ at their exchange. “You’re my girlfriend, and I thought we were already going together anyway.”

“I know, but I wanted to ask you,” Camila says, “Mostly because I’ve never asked anyone to a dance before, and I figured it’d be romantic to ask instead of just assuming.”

Lauren smiles. “I’m excited to go to a dance with you, because… because we’ve never done that. As a couple, I mean. Because we didn’t go to junior prom since we were busy watching _Pretty Little Liars_ in our pyjamas, so this will be nice.”

“If you wanted to go to a dance, you could’ve said so,” Camila points out, “I wouldn’t have minded.”

“No, I’d prefer the cuddling in pyjamas or under my blanket,” Lauren says, “but I’m still excited for prom, because after we can go home and cuddle under my blanket.”

Ally smiles. “You two will have fun. I loved my senior prom.”

“Didn’t you end up going with that Will guy?” Normani asks. “Even though you insisted you didn’t like him like that?”

“We went as friends,” Ally explains, “he knows that. I’m pretty sure he has a girlfriend now, anyway.”

Dinah blinks in surprise, “Wait, so this person you’ve been going out with so much lately _isn’t_ Will? You’re not getting back together with Troy, are you?”

“Nope,” Ally shakes her head, “I’m not dating anyone. That’s just a friend.”

Normani snorts. “ _Just a friend_. Funny, Ally. You don’t talk about friends as much as you’ve been talking about this guy.”

Camila smirks. “You’ve got a crush on someone?”

“ _No_ ,” Ally is quick to shoot her down, “you guys have no manners. You’re supposed to respect your elders, not harass them.”

“I’m not saying anything,” Lauren pouts and taps out a pattern against Camila’s thumb. “I’m nice. Because you didn’t make fun of me like DJ did when she found out about my crush on Camz.”

“You weren’t included in that, Lo,” Ally assures her with a smile, “Just the three immature ones.”

“No, but seriously,” Normani says, “who’s this guy? Can we meet him?”

Ally laughs. “No, you can’t, because _he_ doesn’t exist.”

“Wait,” Dinah sits up and stares at Ally with wide eyes, “it’s a _girl_.”

When Ally doesn’t reply, that’s apparently enough confirmation for Normani and Dinah. While they start grilling a silent Ally for answers, Camila hears Lauren mutter, “Do I know _any_ straight people?”

“I don’t think so, Laur,” Camila laughs, “maybe all of us LGBT people are subconsciously drawn together or something.”

Before Lauren can reply, Ally finally cracks under Dinah and Normani’s constant questioning. “Oh my god, _fine_ , maybe it’s a girl, alright? But we’re just friends.”

“Didn’t you say you went out for dinner with someone the other week?” Normani points out. “Totally just friends though. Clearly.”

“Her name is Tori,” Ally says, “and that’s all the information you’re getting. Let’s talk about how proud we are of Lauren for getting up in front of everyone and speaking.”

Lauren flushes at Ally’s words, and Camila squeezes her hand under the table. “It really was great, Lolo. And I’m so proud.”

Normani flashes a soft smile across the table, “Yeah, Lo. We’re all super proud of you. Even if sometimes it feels like yesterday when I was teaching you how to say ‘ _remember’_.”

“It was a hard word,” Lauren says, “I probably couldn’t say it if I was drunk.”

Camila ruffles Lauren’s hair. “Either way, we all loved your speech. I appreciated the casual mentions. Also the _‘love of my life’_ part.”

“You _are_ ,” Lauren shrugs, “and I- I appreciate you a lot, and I wanted everyone to know it. I appreciate all of you guys because- because I wouldn’t be the person I am today without you all, and it’d be the same even if I was neurotypical. You’re the best friends I could’ve asked for.”

Dinah rolls her eyes, “We’re not friends, Ralph. We’re sisters for life.”

“Yeah,” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and rests her head on Camila’s shoulder. “Sisters for life.”


	68. Chapter 68

“Happy prom night!” Lauren announces as Camila walks into her girlfriend’s bedroom. “You look really pretty, Camz.”

At Lauren’s appearance, Camila falters. She’s only seen Lauren in a dress like, one time, on their first ever date. But even then, it was just a casual summer dress. But for prom, apparently Lauren’s gone all out, allowing her mother to do her makeup and curl her hair properly. Her red dress is long and flowing, fitting her curves perfectly, and Camila isn’t sure she’ll ever be able to let Lauren wear her usual jeans and a sweater ever again, because she looks so _good_.

“Holy shit, Laur,” Camila finally finds her words, “you look… incredible. Are you- uh, ready to go?”

“Hold on, I want to finish this episode of the documentary series I’m watching,” Lauren says, moving her laptop slightly to the left so Camila can see the screen. The younger girl makes her way over and sits beside Lauren on her bed. “It’s about the ocean. I love how… mysterious the ocean is. Like, we don’t know what’s down there, really. We know more about space than the ocean.”

Camila laughs, and moves the mouse to see how much time is left. Ten minutes. “Well, I guess we can be fashionably late to prom.”

Lauren frowns. “It’s only a dance, it’s not that important. The ocean is.”

Camila resists the urge to ruffle Lauren’s hair, what she usual does when her girlfriend says something adorable. Or does _anything_ , really. “We’re not even going for that long, Laur. You said you’d want to leave early, since it’ll be loud.”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums in reply, “we can go somewhere and have fun. I am bringing a spare pair of jeans and a sweater with me, in case we go somewhere that my current outfit isn’t suitable for.”

“We’ll probably just go to McDonald’s or something,” Camila shrugs, “but whatever. Can I borrow a hoodie and jeans in case, too?”

“Yes, you can pick them out,” Lauren tells her, and Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek and heads over to the closet, eventually settling on the _Star Wars_ sweater she’d bought Lauren what feels like forever ago, and a pair of ripped skinny jeans that Lauren always complains are too tight.

After stuffing them in a bag that they’ll leave in the car, Camila nudges her girlfriend. “Come on. Let’s go.”

Lauren grumbles. “I’m in the middle of an episode.”

“You have like, two minutes left.” Camila says, just as the end credits start to roll. “Look! The two minutes consist of end credits.”

Lauren pouts, but closes her laptop and stands up, smoothing out her dress. “Do I look okay?”

“No.” Camila shakes her head. “You look _perfect_.”

Lauren blushes. “Good. I let my mom do my makeup. She was really happy, I’ve never let her do it before, usually I get Manibear to do it. But Mani was busy getting ready with Dinah and I was going to go over there and get ready with them, but my mom offered and she was smiling lots and I didn’t want her to stop smiling when I said no, so I said yes.”

“Cute,” Camila comments, squeezing Lauren’s hand and pulling her downstairs. Lauren puts a pair of heels on and wobbles a little as she stands up, staggering over to the door. “Comfy, Laur?”

Lauren blushes, but nods. “I’m fine. Let’s go.”

“You’re not going anywhere yet,” Clara says from the lounge, surprising Lauren enough for her to topple over in her heels and catch herself on the door handle. Camila moves forwards and helps steady her. “We need to take your pictures.”

Mike walks out of the lounge with her, holding a camera. “We need pictures of our little girl going to prom.”

Lauren blushes again and clings onto Camila’s arm. “It’s- it’s not that important.”

“It’s really important,” Clara counters, “now get close to Camila, we need a nice picture that I can send to Sinu.”

Lauren awkwardly shifts closer to Camila, and once the first picture is taken, looks down at her feet. “How do you walk in these, Camz?”

“Never worn heels before?” Camila asks, smiling when Lauren bobs her head in confirmation. “Well… you practice, mostly. Especially if you’re as clumsy as me.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Would you be mad if I wore my Converse instead?”

“Nope,” Camila assures her, “I’d be madder if you tripped on those heels and ended up hurt. I was going to suggest you change your shoes, to be honest.”

“Keep them on for the photos, Lauren,” Clara says as she pushes the camera into Chris’s hands, who looks completely taken off guard as he passes by to go to the kitchen. “Chris, take a picture of your dad and I with your sister.”

Camila goes to get out of the shot, but Clara pulls her back in, so she wraps her arms around Lauren and smiles up at her girlfriend. When the flash goes off, Lauren cringes and squints at her. “I hate that.”

“Flash?” Camila asks. “Because of your green eyes being all light-sensitive and stuff?”

“Um… yeah. Basically.” Lauren nods. “It’s annoying. I have to wear sunglasses even when it’s not that bright out because I’ll go all squinty and weird.”

“I think squinty Lauren is as cute as regular Lauren,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand and watches as the older girl heads towards the door again, still staggering in her heels. “Laur, put your Converse on.”

“Okay,” Lauren tumbles over again and ends up in Camila’s arms. The smaller girl leads her to the stairs and watches as Lauren swaps her high heels for her usual scuffed black and white Converse, and then flashes her a smile. “All good.”

“Cool,” Camila beams, “let’s head off. Unless your parents want a full scale photoshoot…?”

“We’re done with the pictures,” Clara laughs, “I have plenty to send to your parents, Camila. And none of my Facebook friends will believe that Lauren wore heels.”

Camila snorts. “Even if it was for two seconds.”

Lauren pouts at her. “No, it was longer than two seconds, it was at least a few minutes and—you’re… you’re speaking figuratively, aren’t you?”

“Yep,” Camila confirms with a teasing grin, “come on, Lo. Let’s set off for prom, because I _know_ the girls will blame me for being late, even though it’s actually your fault.”

Lauren huffs, and gives her parents both a hug, before skipping out of the front door with Camila’s hand in hers. She pulls her girlfriend to the car with a grin, and takes Camila’s car keys from her, getting in the driver’s side.

Camila frowns, but sits down in the passenger seat. “Why’d you steal my car keys?”

“You’re wearing heels, so it might be harder to drive,” Lauren says, “since it’s definitely way harder to _walk_ , so… I don’t want you to drive. I’ll drive, I’m a good driver because I’m smart and I have a 5.0 GPA.”

“Technically you _don’t_ have a 5.0 GPA anymore,” Camila points out with a teasing grin as Lauren sets off. “You’re a high school graduate, Lo. All you can say is that you had a 5.0 GPA _in high school_. Not right now.”

“I- I…” Lauren trails off with a frown, “I don’t have a 5.0 GPA.”

Camila laughs. “Nope. Not anymore.”

After a few moments of thought, Lauren taps out a pattern on the steering wheel and smiles to herself. “I graduated with a 5.0 GPA and I was valedictorian. That’s what I can say instead, because I like people to know that I’m smarter than them.”

Camila snorts. “Maybe don’t introduce yourself like ‘ _hi, I’m Lauren, I’m smarter than you’_. People probably won’t take that well.”

“But it’s true,” Lauren says, “it doesn’t mean they’re stupid. You’re smart, but I’m still smarter than you, because I graduated with a 5.0 GPA and I was valedictorian.”

“Oh god,” Camila lets out a mock gasp, “is that your new catchphrase? What have I created?”

“I don’t have a _catchphrase_ ,” Lauren rolls her eyes, and Camila’s incredibly tempted to scoff, because _yeah, she does_. “You know, Lucy told me that I repeat a lot of statements, which is weird, because I didn’t think I did that. Echolalia was never a trait I had.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Um, all of the 5.0 GPA talk proves that it _is_ a trait you have, Laur.”

“I know, but I get really annoyed when people tell me things more than once, I don’t want to do that to other people,” Lauren huffs, “I don’t want to annoy you and not even realise I’m doing it.”

“You don’t annoy me.” Camila assures her. “I love your GPA catchphrase, okay?”

“It’s not a catchphrase,” Lauren repeats, shaking her head. “Oh, did I tell you that I had a weird dream last night?”

Not bothered by Lauren’s quick subject change, Camila shakes her head. “No, you didn’t. What’d you dream about?”

“You, but you had three legs,” Lauren hums in thought. “Weird, isn’t it? Because people don’t have three legs. I think it might’ve been because I like the number three.”

“I mean… I don’t think an extra leg would come in useful. Unless I lost one,” Camila shrugs, “extra _arms_ though… then I could be chivalrous and carry all your stuff for you.”

“That would be nice. Go and get another arm, please,” Lauren says with a small smile, “then we’ll both be different, but you’ll be physically different and I’ll be mentally different. Well, I won’t _be_ , because I already _am_. Wrong verb, Lolo lion. But still.”

“Correcting your _own_ grammar?” Camila tries her best not to laugh. “God, you really are the Grammar Queen.”

“Can we go back to the zoo soon?” Lauren asks her, again changing the subject. “I miss the lions.”

“You miss the lions because you _are_ a lion.” Camila teases her. “And you want to be with your own kind.”

“Camzi,” Lauren glances over at her for a moment with a concerned expression, “even though I’m Lolo lion, you know I’m a person, right? I’m not an actual lion.”

Camila can’t help but laugh at that. “No, actually, I wasn’t aware. Thanks for enlightening me, Laur.”

“You weren’t--” Lauren trails off, “you’re being sarcastic, aren’t you? Because I know you’re not _that_ stupid.”

“You saying _that_ stupid implies that you think I’m kind of stupid,” Camila points out, “and yes, Lolo. It was sarcasm.”

“Sorry,” Lauren says as she glances around for a parking space outside of school. “I didn’t mean to imply that I thought you were stupid. You’re actually very smart, but like I said before, not as smart as me. Not that there’s anything wrong with being stupid, anyway. Dinah proves that.”

Camila snorts. “I’m _so_ telling her you said that.”

“It was a joke, though,” Lauren glances at her with an innocent expression, “Dinah’s a math genius, she can’t be dumb.”

As Lauren parks, Camila glances towards the busy school building. She can hear the music from where they’re sat. “Do you think they’ll have alcohol?”

“Camz, it’s a school thing,” Lauren points out, “no. But, um, I could go and get you some? I brought my fake ID, and I look older right now because I’m wearing makeup.”

“It’s okay, Laur. No thanks.” Camila squeezes her hand and climbs out of the car. “Come on. Let’s go and meet up with Norminah.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, taking Camila’s hand and following her into the school building. “Do you think DJ would say no if I asked to slowdance with Mani? Because Mani’s my best friend and I want to dance with her at least once.”

“I’m sure Dinah would be fine with that, Lo,” Camila squeezes her hand as they get into the school’s gym, which has been decorated for the night. She passes a teacher their prom tickets and then pulls Lauren over to the table she spots Dinah and Normani at. “It’s my possessive ass you have to worry about. I don’t want to watch my Lolo lion dancing with anyone else.”

Lauren hums. “Okay then. I won’t slowdance with Manibear.”

“Kidding, Lo,” Camila quickly tells her, “dance with whoever you like. Well, not whoever you like, I’d be sad if you danced with the hottest person on the planet and ditched me for them-”

“I couldn’t ditch you with you, that’s impossible,” Lauren frowns at her, “there’s only one Camz. Two would be a bit much to handle, I think.”

“Smooth, Jauregui,” Camila grins, pulling out Lauren’s chair for her and sitting down next to her. She sends their friends a smile in greeting. “Hey, guys. Laur wants to slowdance with Mani, but Caminah are clearly way more skilled at dancing, so _obviously_ Dinah and I will win a mini dance off.”

Dinah snorts. “ _I’d_ win one. Not sure about you, though. Didn’t you trip over your own feet the other day?”

“Oh, Camz, remember when you fell in the hotel at Disney?” Lauren giggles to herself, tapping out a pattern on the table. “That was funny. Even the receptionist laughed at you.”

“Don’t remind me,” Camila groans and rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder. “I’m a klutz and I’m fully aware.”

“Oh my god, you guys should’ve seen her in gym class,” Normani laughs, “she’d fall over at least once per lesson.”

“I’m being bullied,” Camila pouts, “you guys _should_ be complimenting me on my incredibly hot date.”

Lauren frowns at her. “But then they’d just be complimenting me, not you, and I think you deserve compliments as well. Like, um… you’re very beautiful, Camzi. And I think- I think your dress is really pretty and your eyes… your eyes look light.”

Camila’s a little confused by Lauren’s last statement. “My eyes look light?”

“Yes,” Lauren confirms. “They do. They look light as in… happy. You’re… you’re happy and not worried and your eyes show that, because eyes let you look into people’s emotions and thoughts. That’s why I don’t let many people look in mine. You get to, though.”

“Because you love me,” Camila finishes for her, and the older Latina nods, “I love your eyes, Laur. They’re so pretty.”

“Thank you,” Lauren makes eye contact with her and beams, and Camila’s heart flutters. “Would you like to dance?”

“I’d love to,” Camila says, holding her hand out for Lauren to take. Lauren leads her to the dancefloor, cringing a little as they pass the speakers, and Camila’s hands rest on Lauren’s waist. “Is it too loud?”

“Um…” Lauren shrugs, “I’ll be fine. For a dance or two.”

“But you’ll want to leave soon?” Camila asks, and Lauren sends her a sheepish nod. She opens her mouth, probably to apologise, but Camila beats her to it. “That’s okay, baby.”

“I don’t want…” Lauren trails off, looking unsure, “I don’t want to ruin prom for you. I know- I know that you probably had a… a big idea of prom in your head, that you’d always imagined it’d be. Maybe a football player would be taking you and- and they’d be allistic and they’d be able to stay with you all night because the loud music wouldn’t affect them. I know you love me for me, and I _know_ you’d never say anything because of that. But if you- if you want to maybe… have Shawn as a date or something, then… that’s okay.”

Camila blinks in surprise at Lauren’s words. “Laur… honestly, the only idea of prom night I had in my head was hanging out at your house, either in our pyjamas or under your blue blanket watching TV. I didn’t think we’d even go to prom. But we’re here, and I’m with you, and that’s good enough for me. And why the hell would I have thought about a football player taking me? You’re the girl I’m in love with and the _only_ person I’d want at prom with me.”

“No, I mean- I meant before. Like, before we started dating.” Lauren explains. “You probably had an idea of how your whole high school life would pan out. Right?”

“I mean… I guess I did. I was hoping for a few things when I was a freshman,” Camila admits, “like, uh, I wanted to go to a dance with a boy. But I got one better, because I get to go to a dance with my Lolo lion, and that’s-”

“See!” Lauren interrupts her, “You had an idea of prom night! You wanted to go with a boy, probably a sporty person, and- and they’d be able to stay here all night. Another girl would be able to stay here all night. But you still asked me. I know you’re my girlfriend, but… but if you’d asked my permission first, you could’ve brought someone as a friend date. Someone who could give you the perfect prom night.”

“You know, for someone who graduated with a 5.0 GPA,” Camila sends her a teasing grin, “you’re being pretty stupid right now. I’m already having the perfect prom night, because I’m at prom with the girl I’m in love with. The girl that’s going to be my wife one day. Not many people can say that.”

“I- I’m not-” Lauren frowns to herself, “I’m not being stupid, I’m very smart, I have a 5.0 GPA, but that’s not- I’m talking about how I’m not going to be able to stay here for too long, the music is already hurting my head and I feel dizzy and I don’t like it, but I want you to be able to have fun at your prom.”

“It’s your prom too, Lo,” Camila reminds her, “and we don’t actually have to _be_ here for it to be our prom. We can take prom with us somewhere quiet. Do anything we want.”

“I- are you sure?” Lauren glances at her, and Camila kisses her, hoping that the green eyes staring back at her will regain some of their usual brightness. “Because I want you to be happy, and I can’t tell from your body language because I can’t- I can’t read that, and I need to check.”

“ _Yes_ , Lolo,” Camila promises her, “I’m ready to leave whenever you are. Whether that’s in five minutes or five hours.”

“Oh,” Lauren looks down at her feet and shrugs, “okay then. I’ll- we’re going… when- when the loud gets too much. I’ll tell you…”

Camila grins. “I’m just glad we didn’t have to pay thirty dollars for the prom tickets, because little miss 5.0 GPA gets them for free.”

“Being valedictorian was good.” Lauren blushes. “But I think you talk about my GPA more than I do.”

Camila just laughs and rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder. “I doubt that. I’m going to keep a tally from now on just to prove you wrong.”

“I’m almost never wrong,” Lauren says, “because-”

“Of your GPA?” Camila finishes for her with a teasing smile. “That’s one on the tally-”

“No, actually, I was going to say that I only ever start arguments or debates with people when I know I’m right,” Lauren replies, “because that way I’m always right.”

“That’s…” Camila trails off, “actually a pretty good policy, to be honest. “Okay, so if I said… _The Lion King_ is the dumbest movie in history, you’d argue with me because you’d know I’m wrong?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head, “that’s a matter of opinion, and while it’s not _my_ opinion, other people are entitled to theirs. Unless the opinion is hateful towards a group of people, like the LGBT community. In that case I’d argue, because homophobia and transphobia are wrong.”

“How’d I get a girl that’s so smart,” Camila asks herself aloud, “Teach me your ways, the great Lolo lion. Allow me to be your apprentice.”

“You’re such a dork,” Lauren laughs and sends her a shy smile, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Camila says as the song they’re dancing to finishes, “it’s another slow song, if you want to dance with Mani now? I’ll force Dinah to dance with me. She’ll love that.”

Lauren hums in thought. “You should dance with Shawn, because at least he’s too nice to tell you that you’re being weird when you start dancing like the mom in _Mean Girls_.”

“That’s true,” Camila laughs, pulling Lauren back over to the table that Dinah and Normani are sat at, “Dinah would just make fun of me.”

“I don’t know what the context of this conversation is, but yeah, probably,” Dinah agrees, “because you’re easy to make fun of, Walz.”

Camila watches as Lauren grabs Normani’s hand and pulls her over to the dancefloor. “Look, our girlfriends just ran off with each other. Guess we have to dance, too?”

“I’m not dancing with you,” Dinah rolls her eyes, “You’d step on my feet.”

Camila scoffs. “Lauren loved my dancing, actually. No feet were stepped on there.”

Dinah’s quiet for a moment, before she glances over at Camila and frowns at her. “You know, I didn’t like you at first.”

“Wait- what?” Camila blinks in surprise, wondering where the hell that came from. And if she should be offended or not. “You didn’t- you’re my best friend, China.”

“Yeah, _now_ I am. Even if you’re a weirdo.” Dinah grins at her. “But back then… no. When I invited you to sit with us, I was indifferent, obviously, because I didn’t know you. But then you started throwing shade at one of my best friends.”

Camila frowns at her. “I did?”

“Ralph,” Dinah rolls her eyes as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world, “because she was shy and didn’t speak to you much, and you started shading her straight away. Didn’t even give her a chance. Of course, she didn’t notice, she’s the queen of obliviousness, but I did, and I was like _damn, this girl’s a bitch._ ”

“Is this going somewhere,” Camila asks, “or are we just insulting me in the past?”

“I have a point,” Dinah answers, “but yeah. Then after that I was like, _okay, maybe she’s having a bad day or something_. But then after a few days of you ignoring Lauren completely, when she’d already decided that you two were best friends forever, you tried to exclude her from something that you were inviting Ally, Mani and I to.”

As if she’s on autopilot, Camila corrects her. “Actually, in that case, it’d be me, Ally and Mani. But, uh, go on.”

“Jesus, you’re like a mini Ralph,” Dinah rolls her eyes. “There’s only enough room for one grammar queen here.”

Camila shrugs, glancing over at Lauren, who’s dancing to a faster paced song with Normani, and a small smile stretches across her mouth. “I’m the acting queen when she’s not around.”

“Whatever,” Dinah shakes her head but sends her a fond smile, “either way, you tried to exclude Lauren from something, and that was like, the final straw. Even Ally was agreeing with me and Mani that you were being a bitch, and we were honestly planning on telling you to fuck off. In nicer words, maybe.”

Camila stares at her best friend in shock. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Dinah confirms, “but _someone_ overheard us talking and convinced us not to, even after we explained how subtly rude you were.”

Camila follows Dinah’s gaze and ends up staring at her girlfriend, who catches her gaze and sends her a wide smile. “Lauren?”

“Mhm,” Dinah nods, and Camila’s heart flutters. Even when Lauren barely knew her, she still stuck up for her, “she said that it wasn’t fair and she had a huge rant about how we didn’t abandon her when we were kids, and we shouldn’t do the same thing to you. That was when Mani started thinking that Lauren had a little crush on you.”

Camila frowns. “But… that implies that you were just putting up with me for Lauren’s sake.”

“Basically, yeah,” Dinah nods, “but then I explained things to you, and instead of being even bitchier like I thought you’d be, it was like some different personality showed up and decided to stick around, because you tried your hardest to talk to Lauren when you were told that her mind works differently. And that’s what made me like you. Because I thought you’d call her the ‘r’ word and go and find new friends. But you didn’t.”

Before Camila can reply, Lauren practically sprints back over to the table and starts poking her in the shoulder. “Camz, there’s cupcakes! Mani and I found cupcakes! Do you want one? They’re really good.”

Camila tries not to laugh. “Are you on a sugar rush already?”

“No, I’m not six, I don’t get sugar rushes,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “but there’s cupcakes!”

“I want a cupcake,” Dinah decides, standing up, “I’m going to find Mani. Later, Walz.”

Before Camila can say anything, Dinah walks away, and Lauren takes the seat Dinah has just vacated. “I think I’d like to leave in a little while. Do you think… half an hour is okay?”

“That’s fine,” Camila promises her, smiling when Lauren takes her hand. “What’s the plan for after?”

“Um… well, I have an idea, but I can’t tell you yet,” Lauren says. “It’s a secret.”

“But _Lolo_ ,” Camila pouts, “I’m nosy. Tell me where we’re going.”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head, “and I’m really good at keeping secrets. I never tell people things.”

“Didn’t you nearly let slip to Normani that Dinah liked her?” Camila laughs. “ _And_ you blabbed about it to me. Clearly you’re not the best secret keeper.”

“No- all Dinah said was that I wasn’t allowed to tell Mani, and I didn’t!” Lauren defends herself. “You’re not Mani, so I could tell you.”

Camila hums in thought. “I guess you’re right. People just have to eliminate all loopholes with you, right?”

“Um…” Lauren shrugs. “I don’t know. I want another cupcake.”

Before Camila can say anything, Lauren jumps up and skips towards Dinah and Normani. Camila follows her with a smile.

-

“Lauren, where the hell are you taking me?”

“You’ll see!” Lauren smiles at her as she tugs her through the empty school corridors, the plastic bag with spare clothes in her hand. “It’s something fun. Even though I’m not very good at it.”

“What?” Camila frowns. “Are we going hat shopping? Because you suck at that.”

Lauren scowls at her. “You’re not funny.”

“Where are we _going_ , Laur?” Camila asks, “tell me your secrets.”

Lauren pulls her into a door, and Camila’s question is answered for her. “The swimming pool. We’re- we’re having a swim. Alone.”

“Oh,” Camila blinks in surprise as Lauren heads into the little lifeguard’s office and flips on the lights for the pool. “That’s… oddly romantic.”

“Yes,” Lauren bobs her head in reply, “so- um, we can get out of our dresses and put them in this bag. Swim in our underwear, and then… then put on the hoodie and jeans we brought.”

Camila looks around as Lauren pulls her into the locker room. “Are we allowed to be here?”

“No,” Lauren answers immediately, “but they can’t really do anything. Like… we can’t get a detention or anything, we’ve graduated. And all the teachers like me, I could just lie and say there wasn’t a sign on the door saying I wasn’t allowed.”

“Sneaky,” Camila comments, “alright then. Let’s swim.”

Camila lets Lauren unzip her dress for her, and when Lauren steps out of her own dress, Camila can’t help but stare a little. But Lauren’s hot, so it’s to be expected.

Her girlfriend sends her a small smile and pulls her back out to the pool. After a few moments, Lauren grins and pushes her in, jumping in after her with a huge splash. Because Camila can’t exactly pull her in as revenge, she settles on splashing her girlfriend as much as she can.

“Bitch,” Camila rolls her eyes and flicks more water at Lauren, “I would’ve jumped in with you, you know.”

“Yes, but pushing you was funnier,” Lauren says, swimming over to her and wrapping her arms around Camila’s waist. “Can I kiss you?”

“Go for it,” Camila smiles as Lauren leans in and gives her a chaste kiss, before she rests against the side of the pool. “So, where’d you get the idea to-”

“Wait!” Lauren interrupts her and clambers out of the pool, jogging towards the locker rooms before Camila can say anything to stop her.

After a few moments of silence, Lauren returns with her phone, and drags a chair out of the lifeguard’s office to put it on. She puts on some music, and then jumps back into the pool with a smile.

“I can’t believe I forgot that,” Lauren says as she bobs back up to the surface. “I wanted some nice music. Not too loud, and- and it’s my stim playlist, so it’s instrumental and relaxing. I like relaxing music.”

“I used to be scared of swimming pools, you know,” Camila comments as Lauren floats on her back, “I watched _Jaws_ when I was a kid, and the fear of the ocean extended into fear of swimming pools. My little five year old brain thought that sharks could magically arrive in swimming pools, too.”

“Sharks aren’t evil,” Lauren says, “contrary to what _Jaws_ makes you believe. They just have really bad eyesight. They think we’re seals, which is their usual prey. Sharks are actually my favourite ocean animal. Lions are my favourite wild animal, and dogs are my favourite domesticated ones.”

“Other than dogs,” Camila starts, “why are all your favourite animals the ones that would kill you if you went near them?”

“I want to go in a shark cage one day,” Lauren continues as if she hadn’t heard Camila’s question, “I think that’d be interesting. Because no aquarium has ever successfully kept a Great White, except for one time where they kept it for 198 days, so you can’t go to an aquarium to see them up close.”

“Well, while you go in a shark cage, I’ll be at home cuddling with our future kittens.” Camila replies. “You know… animals that _don’t_ have huge teeth that could rip your arm off.”

Lauren hums. “Whatever. I’ll get Dinah and Mani to go with me. Ally will look after Dash and the cats with you.”

Camila shrugs. “I don’t think I’m the one losing out, to be honest. Ally can bake for me. Can a shark bake for you? I don’t think so.”

“That would be funny,” Lauren laughs to herself, kicking off from the wall and saying, “let’s play Marco Polo.”

Camila doesn’t have much chance to protest, because Lauren’s already swum away from her. So, she closes her eyes and plays the game with her girlfriend, knowing that she’ll probably suck at it.

After a few games of Marco Polo – Camila inevitably failing to find Lauren every time – Lauren announces that she wants to get out of the pool so her hands don’t go ‘ _all pruney and weird’_. Camila follows her girlfriend out of the pool and changes into the borrowed clothes, before they head out to the parking lot to get back to the car.

Camila pulls Lauren in for a kiss before she can move around to the driver’s side. “Best prom night ever. Thanks for being my date, Laur.”

“Thank you for being _my_ date,” Lauren beams at her, “you asked me, I just remembered. By anyway, I’d like to get home and have a bath now. I don’t like chlorine, it’s why I don’t swim much.”

“Alright, let’s go.” Camila climbs in the passenger seat of the car and glances over at their high school. With a wistful smile, she looks away, because while it’s the last time she’ll ever be there, she still has the person who made high school so enjoyable.

And she knows that Lauren will make college just as amazing.


	69. Chapter 69

“Are you packed?”

That’s the first thing Camila wakes up to, and she rolls her eyes at the doubt in Lauren’s voice. “Yes, I’m packed. Let me sleep in just a little more though.”

“Nuh-uh,” Lauren doesn’t bother shaking her to wake up; nope, she sits down on Camila’s stomach and sends her a small smile. “We’re going to _Spain_ , Camz! I’ve been there a few times before with my family, and they have big black bulls on highways and hills and stuff and I would name them all when we went past. We should do that.”

“What?” Camila sits up and shoves Lauren off her. “Why do they have bulls? I’m confused. Did you even say bull?”

“I did,” Lauren confirms, “and I think they used to be advertisements. Don’t know why they painted them black after though, most people would just pull them down. But they’re fun to spot. And- and name, according to seven year old Lolo lion.”

Camila smiles. “We can come up with the best names, then. We’ll have plenty of brainstorming time on the ten hour flight.”

“I enjoy plane rides,” Lauren absently replies, “and I like long periods of time with you. So that’ll be fun, I think. Sofi will be fun too.”

Camila laughs as she heads over to her closet, but when she finally notices Lauren’s outfit, her eyes widen. “Are you in your pyjamas?”

“Yes,” Lauren replies, before looking down at her clothes and shaking her head. “Well, no, I generally sleep naked or in my Simba onesie, and I wouldn’t go on a plane or through an airport in either of those. But I’m wearing my sweatpants and a comfy hoodie that kind of looks like pyjamas. So I guess I’m wearing PJs.”

“Don’t tell my parents you sleep naked,” Camila points out, “or they won’t let us room together.”

“Okay, I won’t,” Lauren replies, not getting Camila’s teasing tone, “are you going to wear your PJs, too?”

“I mean,” Camila looks Lauren over and then glances at the jeans and plaid shirt she was going to wear today. “You know what? Sure. Sweatpants it is.”

She walks over to her suitcase, pulls her sweats out and puts her regular clothes back in it. She pulls on a sports bra and picks out a baggier t-shirt, and then turns around to Lauren.

Lauren just smiles at her. “Now we’re matching. I’m also wearing my fluffy lion socks that you bought me, see?”

Camila smiles and heads towards the bathroom. “I have to brush my teeth so I can pack my toothbrush. You can go wake up Sofi if she’s not already up.”

“Okay!” Lauren stands up and walks out of the room with a bounce in her step. When Camila reaches the bathroom she hears her little sister call out, “ _Lamp_!” and can’t help but smile.

Once Lauren has woken Sofi up, she lets the youngest Cabello show her all of her toys, and when Lauren notices that the girl has a Simba, her jaw drops. “I have a Nala!”

Sofi beams. “Y-yeah, Kaki told me. She s-said that you’d think I w-was cool if I had one of these.”

“Oh,” Lauren grins as Sofi hands her the stuffed Simba. She has Nala downstairs with her backpack – her mom had promised to look after her stuffed lion while she went upstairs to wake up Camila. “I love _The Lion King_.”

“Can we watch it?” Sofi asks. “Kaki’s c-computer has a DVD drive!”

“So does mine, and I brought the platinum edition that Camz bought me for Christmas,” Lauren says, “because we’re going away for two weeks, and I can’t not watch _The Lion King_ for two whole weeks.”

Sofi nods as she starts looking through her princess dolls. “Who’s your f-favourite princess? My- mine’s Belle.”

“I like Ariel,” Lauren says, “but I also like Princess Bubblegum from _Adventure Time._ She’s not a Disney princess, but she’s cool, because she’s really good at science and she’s badass, like me. But I’m not _really_ good at science. I was best at art in school.”

Sofi looks down at her dolls and then back up at Lauren. “Do y-you want to marry m-my sister?”

Lauren blinks in surprise. “Yes. But why are you asking?”

“Because then you- you’ll be m-my sister, too,” Sofi says, “I w-want you to be my sister, Lamp. You and Kaki.”

“Well, I will be one day. When Camz and I are older,” Lauren answers, because she knows that they won’t break up. They’ve only fought one time, and she knows that Camila loves her. “We did a proposal for a proposal. And she gave me this really cool spinner ring that says _hakuna_ on it, and hers says _matata_.”

Lauren shows Sofi the rings Camila had bought for them, and when Sofi opens her mouth to reply, a different voice speaks, and she jumps in shock.

“Showing Sofi how good I am at gift buying?” Camila asks, sitting down on the floor next to Lauren and looking over at all the toys Sofi had brought out. Camila holds out her hand and shows Sofi the matching ring. “I would’ve given Lauren both of them, but I figured having matching rings is way more romantic.”

“You’re really good at being romantic,” Lauren says, taking her girlfriend’s hand and smiling at the warmth. “If you ever like a boy or girl when you’re older, Sofi, Camz can teach you all the ways to make them love you. Because she made me love her, and I’m really good at ignoring people when I want.”

Camila ruffles Lauren’s hair and rolls her eyes. “Come on, Lo. Let’s go downstairs and let Sofi tidy away all of her dolls. You need to say goodbye to your parents, anyway.”

“I said goodbye to my dad last night, so he’s not here,” Lauren says, “I was going to walk here with my suitcase, because I said bye to my mom last night, too, but she wouldn’t let me. She said she wanted to drive me here.”

Camila smiles, because Clara is really trying and it’s a big change from what she used to be like. “That’s sweet of her. She probably didn’t want you carrying heavy luggage.”

“But I can,” Lauren argues, pulling Camila downstairs. They walk into the lounge, and she spots her mom talking to Sinu, with Nala on her lap, and she takes her stuffed lion without saying anything. “I’m really strong, you know. I can pick you up.”

“I know you can,” Camila laughs. “Now say goodbye to your mom!”

Lauren huffs, but sits down on the couch next to Clara. She doesn’t meet her mom’s eyes, and instead looks down at Nala. “Bye, mama. I promise I’ll FaceTime you when I have internet.”

Camila can tell that Clara wants to hug her, but Lauren doesn’t pick up on it. “I want a text as soon as you have internet after you land. I need to know you got there safely.”

“Well, if I hadn’t, it’d probably be on the news,” Lauren points out. “Plane crashes are always on the news, aren’t they?”

Clara lets out an anxious laugh. “Don’t talk about plane crashes, Lauren. You’ll make me worried.”

“Sorry,” Lauren says, and after a few moments of hesitation, cuddles up to her mom, “I’ll miss you lots. And dad, Chris and Tay.”

“We’ll miss you too,” Clara tells her, “but I’ll be at the airport to pick you up.”

Lauren frowns. “But what if you’re busy?”

“Not too busy for that,” Clara smiles at her. “Have _so_ much fun, Lauren. I love you.”

“Love you too, mom,” Lauren beams and pulls away from her mom as Clara gets up to leave. “And I promise I’ll be good, before you say that, because you _always_ said that when I was little and you were leaving me with my abuela.”

Clara sends her a fond smile, and looks incredibly shocked when Lauren hugs her again before she leaves. “See you in two weeks.”

“No, because I’ll FaceTime you,” Lauren points out, rolling her eyes. “So I’ll probably see you later tonight or tomorrow.”

After a few more promises of FaceTiming and messaging the second they land, Clara leaves, and Camila ambushes Lauren in the hallway. “I’m _so_ ready to annoy you on a plane for ten hours straight.”

Lauren blinks at her. “You don’t annoy me.”

“Trust me, that’ll change when you’re sat next to me on a plane for ten hours,” Camila laughs. “We can cuddle, though.”

“Can I have the window seat, please?” Lauren asks, rocking on her heels. “I like being able to look out. I also brought books with me, they’re in my backpack. And my laptop is in there too. Also, um, my chargers, and… everything I need, really. Like my passport.”

“Of course you can have the window seat,” Camila answers with a smile. “And I’m so fucking lucky it’s my parents who’re taking us on this trip, because I forget _everything_. I swear, if it was your parents, I’d have forgotten my passport and we’d miss our flight.”

Lauren laughs. “You’re forgetful.”

“Mhm,” Camila hums in agreement, “you’re not wearing your slippers to the airport, are you?”

“I don’t own any slippers,” Lauren says, “I only wear my fuzzy socks around the house. But I am wearing my Converse like usual.”

“Good, because that’s the one thing I’m not doing.” Camila laughs, “I want to at least look _professional_ on this flight.”

Lauren frowns at her. “But- but you’ll be in pyjamas? That’s not really professional. I remember one time I wore pyjamas on first class on an airplane, because my mom won tickets and I looked really out of place, since the only people who fly first class are business people. They all looked really fancy.”

“It’s a _plane_ , though,” Camila points out, “you don’t need to look fancy on a plane.”

“I know, and I like my sweatpants, since they’re the comfiest thing other than me being under my blanket, but I can’t get naked on a plane,” Lauren explains, “so… I can’t cuddle under my blanket.”

“You brought it, though, right?” Camila asks, and Lauren nods in reply, because they’re not going to be home for two weeks – she needs to take her blanket with her, especially if the sheets in the holiday home they’re renting aren’t soft. “Good. It’ll be like Disney all over again if you don’t like the bedsheets in the holiday home.”

“I brought my pillow from home, too,” Lauren comments, “and if it’s like Disney, will we have-”

“Candy for breakfast?” Camila cuts over her as Alejandro walks down the stairs, carrying a big suitcase. “Nope. My parents will make sure we don’t rebel like that.”

“Oh,” Lauren frowns at her, “but that’s not what I was asking about. I want to know if we’ll be-”

“Going to any theme parks?” Camila finishes for her, pulling Lauren back upstairs and towards her bedroom. “I think so. And we’re going to a waterpark. _And_ – you’ll love this – we’re going to a zoo.”

“We are?” Lauren beams, and she really wants to get out her journal and start drawing up a schedule for the zoo day, but she isn’t sure if Camila’s parents would want her doing that. “We’ll get to see the lions! At least, I hope they have lions. Do you know which zoo it is, so I can look it up?”

“Should’ve said that downstairs,” Camila mumbles to herself, “honestly, Lo. No asking if we’re going to have sex when my parents are in earshot.”

Lauren blinks at her. “I wasn’t going to ask that. I wanted to know if we’d have time to go in a Disney store. Because they might have more _Lion King_ plushies.”

“I… you weren’t asking if-” Camila trails off, her cheeks flushed pink. “Oh. Well, uh. If we find a Disney store, then sure. We can go in.”

“Good,” Lauren smiles, and after a few moment’s pause, asks the next question on her mind, “will we be having sex, though?”

Camila splutters, and after a few seconds, shrugs and forces out an answer, “If we’re- if we’re both in the mood. Sure.”

“Okay then,” Lauren smiles, “I’d like that. I packed my sexy lingerie just in case, because I wasn’t sure if-”

“Kaki!” Sofi interrupts them and bursts through the door, “M-Mami says we’re g-going now.”

“Okay,” Camila nods, grabbing Lauren’s hand and pulling her out of the door. “Let’s go.”

-

“Lo,” Camila pokes her girlfriend in the side as they pull up outside the holiday home they’re staying in. “Wake up. We’re here.”

Lauren’s eyes flutter open and she frowns to herself. “Where- I thought we were in Spain when we landed?”

“Well, yeah,” Camila laughs, “but we’re at the house now. We need to go in and see our room.”

“Okay,” Lauren rubs at her eyes and clambers out of the car after Camila, who picks up Sofi as their parents deal with the luggage. Lauren offers to help, but Sinu and Alejandro shrug her off, so she follows Camila inside. “Is our room big?”

“Probably around the same size as your bedroom,” Camila shrugs, “I don’t know, I’ve just seen pictures of it online.”

“You never showed me the pictures!” Lauren pouts. “That’s mean. I wanted to see.”

“You get to see it right now though,” Camila points out, “I only looked at the pictures to show Sofi, anyway.”

“You c-could’ve showed Lamp,” Sofi says, and Lauren sends Camila a triumphant smile, “she w-would’ve gotten excited f-for the trip.”

“Yes, I would’ve,” Lauren reiterates as Camila leads Sofi into a room with bunkbeds. “Oh, cool, bunk beds! I never had bunk beds when I was little, I’m scared of heights.”

“Bunk beds aren’t t-that high,” Sofi laughs at her, “Lamp is a s-scaredy cat.”

“I’m not a cat, I’m a lion,” Lauren says, pointing to the doorway, “Can we go find our room now, Camz?”

“Okay,” Camila follows her towards the door, “Sofi, you stay here, okay? Mom will bring your stuff in.”

“’kay,” Sofi smiles and pulls the toys she’d packed in her carry on – Lauren and Camila had played with her on the plane.

Camila walks past Lauren and grabs her hand, tugging her into the next room which has a double bed in it. “This is our room. You’ll have to share a bed with me and my cold feet for two weeks straight. Sorry about that.”

“I like cuddling you,” Lauren absentmindedly replies. “I would enjoy cuddling you for two weeks. You’re warm.”

“I’m warm?” Camila laughs. “Okay. Let’s snuggle. Later, though. We’ve got to have dinner first, but I’ll want to sleep soon. I’m tired.”

“Me too,” Lauren murmurs, and Camila scoffs. “What? I am!”

“You slept for the entire car ride here, _and_ for half the plane journey,” Camila points out with a laugh, “You can’t be that tired.”

“But… I am,” Lauren says, “I’d like to wear my Simba onesie, but I don’t know if your parents will think I’m strange. I don’t want them to think that, you see.”

“Put it on,” Camila smiles, “I’ll wear my pyjamas too. We’ll be going to bed soon anyway.”

“But pyjamas is a different thing to a Simba onesie,” Lauren complains, “I don’t sleep in my Simba onesie that much, but I like to sit around in it. And since it’s quite hot, I’m probably going to sleep naked-”

“Not under my roof you’re not,” Alejandro walks by the door and Camila flushes in embarrassment. Lauren doesn’t seem fazed. “No nudity. And you two have to keep the door open.”

“I don’t like open doors,” Lauren says, “they make me feel exposed. But feel free to check on us at regular intervals.”

“Dad, this isn’t your roof,” Camila points out once she shrugs her embarrassment off, “technically we can do whatever we like. But Lauren and I won’t be doing anything like that, neither of us are ready.”

Alejandro narrows his eyes, and looks to Lauren. “Is that true?”

Lauren looks over at Camila, who sends her a pleading look, and she nods. “Yes. It’s true. I’m not- um, ready for that stuff. I don’t think I ever will be.”

After a moment, Alejandro smiles. “I knew I liked you for a reason.”

Once he leaves the room, Lauren rocks on her heels and looks at her feet. “I didn’t- um, I feel bad. For lying to your dad.”

“That rhymed,” Camila points out, “you’re a poet. And it’s better if you did. He would’ve separated us otherwise, I think.”

“Oh,” Lauren looks over at the empty doorway. “Okay then. Well, I don’t think I’d like to be separated from you, so… I’m going to not tell anyone that we have been intimate.”

Camila smiles and unzips Lauren’s suitcase, pulling out the Simba onesie. “Here. Get your onesie on, and we can take well deserved nap together. I’m sure my parents will wake us up for dinner.”

Lauren takes the onesie with a smile. Sure enough, by the time Sinu comes to get them for dinner, they’re curled up on the bed next to each other, Lauren bundled up in her Simba onesie and Camila in her PJs.

-

“I don’t like wearing bikinis,” Lauren announces as Camila picks out their lounge chairs at the waterpark. “People can see my back. I don’t like it when people look at my back.”

“Nobody is going to stare, baby.” Camila squeezes her hand. “I promise. I didn’t even notice your scars the first time I saw you in a bikini. Only when I was up close and in a bathtub with you.”

“Oh, can we have a bath together tonight?” Lauren asks, swinging the bag that Sinu had given her to carry. “That’ll be nice. You can wash my hair like last time and I’ll wash yours too.”

“Okay,” Camila nods, “sure, Laur. We can have a bath later.”

“Good, because I’ll need one,” Lauren says, “especially after being in a waterpark, because I don’t like chlorine, it makes me feel weird and it smells funny.”

“You smell funny,” Camila childishly retorts, laying her towel out on her lounge chair, “I’m kidding. But I like the smell of chlorine, to be honest.”

“I don’t,” Lauren scrunches up her nose and lays her towel out. Camila tries not to smile when she notices it’s a _Lion King_ towel. “It’s weird. I don’t like it. Where shall I put the bag your mom gave me?”

“Just put it on one of the other lounge chairs,” Camila says, “We need to save three more and I’m not exactly tall enough to stretch out across them all.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods, and puts the bag on the lounge chair on Camila’s right. Skipping the one she’d laid her towel on, she sits down on an empty one and announces, “I am saving this one. You- um, save the other one. The one that’s over there next to where I put the bag.”

“I’m going to feel so far away from you,” Camila laughs, but moves anyway, “there’s like, three chairs between us now. I miss you, Lolo.”

Lauren stares at her. “But I’m right here? You can still talk to me. Don’t turn into one of those weird clingy people that can’t go like, two seconds without seeing their significant other.”

Camila smiles, “I’m joking, nerd.”

“I’m not,” Lauren says, “I’d- I’d have to dump you if you were like that, because I need my alone time. I like alone time, I can sit under my special blue blanket and watch my favourite movies and shows.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “I’m more surprised when you watch something other than _The Lion King._ I bet your favourite show is the TV series. _The Lion King_ one I mean.”

“No!” Lauren shakes her head. “My favourite show is _Game of Thrones._ I don’t like the _Lion King_ TV show. It’s just centred around Timon and Pumbaa and I don’t like that. I like Nala.”

“No, I meant the new one,” Camila says, and Lauren frowns at her. “ _The Lion Guard_?”

Lauren stares at her. “There’s a new one?”

“You know for someone so obsessed with the original movie, you’re kind of late,” Camila says, “there’s a new TV show about it called _The Lion Guard_. Sofi made me watch it with her a little while ago because – and I _quote_ – ‘Lamp probably watches this!’. I’m surprised you don’t.”

“I- I…” Lauren trails off and looks down at her feet, “I- um, need to go home.”

Camila laughs. “You what?”

“I need to home so I can watch it,” Lauren says, “not back home to Miami, obviously, but back to the holiday home, because I can find it online. I need- I want to watch it. I didn’t know, maybe it’ll be good, unlike the Timon and Pumbaa series.”

“It’s like a sequel to the original movie, I think,” Camila comments, and Lauren bounces in her seat, because she wants to go back to her laptop and watch it. “But a prequel to _The Lion King 2_.”

Lauren’s eyes widen. “Does that mean Nala will be in it? How many seasons are there? I don’t know why I never – whenever people talked about the show, I thought they meant the Timon and Pumbaa one! Not this new one.”

“I don’t know, I’ve only seen it the one time and all I know is what Sofi told me,” Camila shrugs, “but Nala was in the episode I watched. They sang _hakuna matata_.”

Lauren flaps her hands happily. “I need to watch this now!”

Camila stands up – Sinu, Alejandro and Sofi are within sight, anyway – and goes back to her original chair. She pats the one next to it where Lauren’s _Lion King_ towel is laid out. “Come here. We’ll check and see if there’s wifi here.”

Lauren moves to her original chair and watches, bouncing impatiently as Camila opens up her phone to check for any wifi. When the only network is password protected, Lauren scowls as Camila shakes her head. “I need the password! Maybe if I tell them it’s important, because I _need_ to watch this show. _The Lion Guard_. Yes, I will tell them that. I need to find a manager-”

“Laur, sit down,” Camila pulls her girlfriend back, squeezing her hand. “I don’t think they’ll give you the password for that.”

“But it’s an _emergency!”_ Lauren argues, and a concerned Sinu walks over. “I need to- to find it!”

“What’s wrong, mija?” Sinu asks her. “Do you need to call your mother? I’m sure they’ll let you borrow a phone-”

“No, I need- I need the wifi password!” Lauren rocks on her heels. “So I can watch _The Lion Guard._ Camz just told me about it and I- I need-”

“It’s a lion related emergency, apparently,” Camila cuts in, pulling Lauren onto her lap and holding her girlfriend in place so she can’t run away to interrogate workers about the wifi. “Don’t worry, mom. I’ll get her calm.”

Sinu smiles at them both. “You had me worried for a moment.”

“Lamp, a-are you okay?” Sofi asks, walking over and sitting down next to Camila, and Lauren who’s struggling to break free from her girlfriend’s grip. “Kaki, what’s w-wrong with Lamp?”

“She’s fine,” Camila starts tracing patterns on Lauren’s stomach. “I just told her about something that I probably should’ve mentioned when we had an internet connection. Turns out she doesn’t watch _The Lion Guard_ after all, and now she’s trying to harass the workers here about the password for the wifi.”

Lauren huffs, but doesn’t struggle to get away from her. Probably because of the tummy rubs more than anything else. “I want to watch it.”

“We can watch it when we get back. Promise,” Camila kisses her cheek. “We’ll start it as soon as we get back.”

“You’ll watch it with me?” Lauren asks with wide eyes. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Camila smiles, “because I know your reactions will be like, the cutest thing in the world. But if you go and bully the wifi password out of a scared employee, you’ll end up watching it by yourself, because I’ll be busy having fun at this waterpark with my sister.”

“Yeah!” Sofi grins. “We’re g-going to go on a-all the slides!”

“Exactly, I’ll be busy doing that,” Camila points out, “so you’d be on your own, and you’d waste a day out at a waterpark, too. So we’re going to have fun, and then you have something to look forward to when you get home.”

Lauren is silent for a few moments, considering her options. Then, she nods and wriggles to get out of Camila’s grip. “You can let go of me. I’m not going to try and get the wifi password.”

“Okay,” Camila lets go of Lauren and squeezes her girlfriend’s hand. “Come on, babe. Let’s take Sofi on some slides, alright?”

“Can we- um,” Lauren trails off as Camila lets Sofi clamber onto her back, “never mind.”

Camila shakes her head. “Nope. You want something, and we’re going to make Lamp happy. Right, Sofi?”

“Yeah,” Sofi nods in agreement, “w-what’s wrong, Lamp?”

“Well, um… I want to go on the lazy river,” Lauren says, “You know, when you get a raft and- and just sit and float through a relaxing river. I’d like to go on that. If that’s okay.”

“Sure,” Camila nods, and checks the park map to find the location. “It’s not too far from here, so… we can go on it. And then we’ll go on the slides.”

“Lamp?” Sofi asks, “why i-is your b-back-”

“Sofi,” Camila cuts in, as Lauren looks down at her feet, her cheeks tinted red, “Lauren doesn’t want to be asked about that, it’s not a nice thing to-”

“No, it’s okay,” Lauren says, and Camila looks at her in surprise, “I- um… when I was little… I was five, so… yeah. I- I was a lot more… I was- it- it was obvious that I wasn’t… like everyone else my age. It still, um, kind of is… but- but I’m not- I wasn’t progressing like… like most kids. And… and I had this- this aunt who… she hated me because I was different… and she- um, she would always tell me that nobody would ever love me and that- that my parents should’ve- um… should’ve hurt me or- or worse when I was diagnosed…”

Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “you don’t have to explain.”

“And she- she hurt me…” Lauren mumbles, “my aunt, I mean… she pinned me down to the floor and burned me with- um, with a curling iron. And… and I don’t- she told me that- that I was bad and that my parents should’ve _put me down_ which… now I know what that means, and I think- I think one day she might’ve hurt me worse. Like… with intent to k- I, um, I mean… she just didn’t like me and she was mean and now she’s dead and it’s- I hate her. I hate her a lot. But she can’t hurt me and she was wrong anyway, because I’m not bad and lots of people love me. But that’s- that’s what the scars are from.”

Sofi stares at her. “She h-hurt you on purpose?”

“Yes,” Lauren answers, looking at her feet. “She did. And… and it made me- for a long time after that, it made me worried that nobody would ever love me properly. But… but they do. Like how Camz loves me and is going to be with me forever. The person who isn’t lovable is my aunt, because she was a bad person.”

Sofi frowns. “I don’t l-like your aunt.”

“Neither do I,” Camila adds, “she was a total bitch, honestly. Screw her.”

“Yes,” Lauren mumbles, “total bitch. But- um, can we stop talking about it now? Now that I’ve answered the question, I mean.”

“Of course,” Camila reaches out and squeezes Lauren’s hand as they reach the lazy river. “Sofi, do you want to go with me or Lauren? Or you can go by yourself.”

“By m-myself,” Sofi says, “I’m a b-big girl, Kaki. I can go by m-myself.”

“Okay,” Camila lets Sofi down from her back and passes her a smaller raft. “There. That’s yours.”

Lauren frowns down at the rafts. “They have orange on them.”

Camila shakes her head and grabs one from the second pile. “This one doesn’t. Take that one. And you’d better not knock me off mine, Laur. Or I’ll drag you down with me.”

Lauren smiles. “I won’t. Promise. But if you fall off, don’t blame it on me.”

“Well, if I fell, _clearly_ it’d be your fault, because you probably pushed me.” Camila says as she puts her raft in the water and climbs on. “I’m really graceful, you know. I never fall over, I’m like, the _least_ clumsy person you’ll ever meet.”

“You’re being sarcastic,” Lauren announces, and Camila smiles. “Because I know you’re clumsy, so you’re saying you’re not for a joke. Right?”

“Right,” Camila confirms, “honestly I won’t be surprised if Sofi gets my clumsy genes.”

“I’m not clumsy,” Sofi protests, glaring at her older sister, “you a-are, though. R-remember when you fell d-down the stairs and cracked your head open?”

“Oh my god, yeah, have I ever told you about that, Lolo?” Camila laughs, and Lauren shakes her head. “I was like, fifteen, and I was carrying laundry down the stairs, tripped over my own feet and fell. But the thing is, I found my footing, but then Sofi walked out of the lounge and I fell into her, tripped over her leg and hit my head on a radiator.”

Lauren hums in thought. “A bump on the head explains a lot.”

“Should I be offended by that?” Camila asks, “Are you calling me weird, Lo?”

“You _are_ weird, yes,” Lauren nods, “but all I said was a bump on the head explains things. Like your bad memory. And maybe hitting your head messed up your sense of humour and suddenly bad jokes are good jokes to you.”

“Bad jokes are the best jokes,” Camila defends her sense of humour, because she’s kind of obsessed with puns. “And you laugh at them anyway, so shut up.”

Lauren hums. “Yes. I laugh at them anyway, because I like the happy look you get when I do. At least I think it’s happy, but sometimes I get facial expressions wrong.”

“Okay,” Camila pulls a face, and Lauren frowns at her. “What am I trying to express?”

“You, um, look like you really need to go to the bathroom,” Lauren answers, and Camila snorts with laughter. Sofi, who’s decided to swim ahead of them, laughs a little, as she’s still in earshot. “What was that supposed to be?”

“ _Concentration_ , Lo,” Camila answers with a laugh. “What facial expressions do you get right?”

“Happy and sad,” Lauren says, “I- I kind of know disappointment, because it’s sort of like sad. Usually I can tell when it’s disappointment, depending on the words. Or if my mom sighs.”

Camila frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Well, when I was little, and I did something that wasn’t seen as normal, my mom would look sad and sigh.” Lauren explains. “I thought she was just sad, but it turns out that’s disappointment, so I can tell that one apart a little bit. On my mom, anyway. Oh, and I know angry, too.”

Camila looks at her in shock. “Your mom told little baby you that she was disappointed?”

“I just don’t like facial expressions and body language,” Lauren sighs and continues on as if she hadn’t heard Camila. “I don’t- it annoys me that people never say what they mean. Everything would be so much easier if they did, you know? But they don’t and it’s annoying. It makes everything so much more complicated. Like, I really hate those memes that are like ‘what she says vs. what she means’ because if someone wants something, they should say so directly. It’d save so much time.”

Camila shrugs. “I get what you mean. People can be passive aggressive sometimes. I used to be, but dating you made me change that, because if I’m upset with something, I just tell you straight up.”

“Yes, don’t tell me you’re fine when you’re not,” Lauren says, “just say you’re not and- and I’ll make you happy again by, um, I don’t know… making you smile with puns.”

Camila smiles. “We should’ve shared a two person raft. I want to cuddle you.”

“We can cuddle later when we watch _The Lion Guard_. It’ll be fun, don’t you think?” Lauren smiles. “I’m really looking forward to it. I can’t believe nobody told me about it. Or, well, they did, but they didn’t specify and I always thought they meant the Timon and Pumbaa show.”

Camila reaches over and squeezes Lauren’s hand. “I’m _so_ looking forward to watching you fangirl over Nala. You’re literally the number one Nala stan.”

“I like Nala a lot, she’s my favourite character and my best friend,” Lauren explains, “my Nala is my best friend, I mean. Not the cartoon one. And- and obviously I love the girls a lot and they’re my best friends first, but I’ve had Nala since I was three.”

“Your mom told me that story,” Camila says offhandedly, “I was asking her about her favourite memory with you, and she explained how it was the first time you ever spoke and you were asking for your Nala by saying _hakuna matata_.”

“Well, I had to speak, she was on the phone and ignoring me,” Lauren defends herself, “I was looking for a toy because she said I could pick one thing, but there wasn’t much I wanted.”

“She also happened to mention that you took _hours_ to pick something,” Camila points out, “Indecisive much?”

“I wanted to pick something good, my mom never took me to Toys r Us much.” Lauren explains, “and I didn’t want to waste the opportunity, I had to be smart about it and pick the best possible option. And that’s what Nala was, the best option, because she looked really soft and her fur feels nice and her tail is nice to stim with.”

Camila just smiles at her. “I’m going to make you a t-shirt with the phrase ‘number one Nala stan’ on it in comic sans. And then I’m going to find a picture with you and Nala and photoshop it with a load of hearts around it and it’ll be the dumbest shirt ever, but you’ll wear it anyway because I’ll cry if you won’t.”

“I’d rather you just bought me some official _Lion King_ merch,” Lauren says, “like… like another plushie or some slippers, because I don’t own any slippers. Or some fuzzy socks!”

“Well, it _is_ your nineteenth soon,” Camila hums in thought, “I still need to think about what I’m getting you.”

“Oh, I forgot about that,” Lauren comments, pouting when she realises that they’re near the end of the lazy river. “I don’t think I want much. Just to go on a nice date with you.”

“I’ll take you to your favourite restaurant, then,” Camila says, “and… and I’ll make sure we’re in the quiet part.”

“Okay,” Lauren flashes her a smile, “that sounds like a nice present. I like that idea. Can we get triple scoop strawberry cones on the way home?”

“We can do whatever you like,” Camila tells her, “it freaks me out to think that this time next year you’ll be turning twenty. Like, that’s an adult.”

“I was worried about it, but at least it’s not too bad, because then after that I’ll be twenty-one and I won’t need a fake ID anymore.” Lauren explains. “I always feel bad using my fake ID, because it’s illegal and I don’t do bad things.”

Camila tries not to laugh. “Yeah, let’s pretend that the last time we had a party with the girls, you _didn’t_ smoke weed.”

“That’s different,” Lauren says, “that’s not a big deal because it’s not- it’s legal in some places. I was going to bring some here, but then I realised that it’s a really stupid idea to bring weed to an airport. What kind of idiot would do that?”

Camila just rolls her eyes, “Come on, stoner. Let’s get out of our rafts, Sofi’s waiting for us and knowing her, she probably wants to go on all the fast slides.”

“Okay,” Lauren says, “I don’t want to go on the tall one we passed on the way here, though. It was orange and I don’t like orange.”

“You don’t have to go on that one,” Camila gets out of her raft and pulls it over to the side of the river, dumping it with the rest of them. Lauren copies her actions. “You can wait at the bottom and laugh when I inevitably fall off. Do you want to go in the wave pool?”

“I’m not a very strong swimmer,” Lauren replies, and Camila takes that as a no as she helps Sofi back up onto her back. “I’d rather not drown, and people who aren’t strong swimmers have died in wavepools before. I don’t want to do that, drowning isn’t the way I want to go.”

Camila frowns at her. “You’ve planned how you want to die?”

“Well, not really, there are just some ways that are a lot less appealing than others,” Lauren explains, “like, getting stabbed wouldn’t be very nice, but getting shot would be okay, depending on where. Like, if you were just shot in the head, you probably wouldn’t even realise it’s happening. Or you might, I don’t know. I’ve never been shot before. Going in your sleep sounds okay, because you just fall asleep as usual and then you can stay in your dream forever. Oh, did I tell you about the dream I had the other night where I was best friends with Lana? It was nice.”

“You c-can die in your sleep?” Sofi frowns. “That’s w-weird.”

“It’s the way I want to go,” Lauren explains, “but Camz, you never answered my question. Did I tell you about my dream?”

“No, you didn’t,” Camila laughs, “but enough death talk, okay? You’ll freak my sister out. Let’s go ride some slides.”

Lauren follows Camila and Sofi with a smile.

-

“You need to meet us back here at four.” Sinu says, holding onto Sofi’s hand. “There’s wifi, so if you need me or your papi, message us.”

“Okay,” Camila smiles at her worried mom, “Lauren and I will be fine. You know how responsible she is.”

“Yes, I am very responsible, my mom tells me that,” Lauren smiles to herself, “also, I’m Lolo lion, so I’ll protect Camz. I promise.”

Camila grabs Lauren’s hand and squeezes it. “See? You’ve got nothing to worry about. I know it’s a foreign country and stuff and that I’m generally a safety hazard anywhere I go, Lauren will look after me. She’s good at that.”

Alejandro eyes them both, but eventually nods. “Okay. But meet us here at three and don’t be late, your mami will worry.”

“I am great at timekeeping,” Lauren absently replies, “we will be fine. Can we go now? I looked this park up on the internet and there’s this rollercoaster I want to take Camz on.”

Sinu nods, “Yes. We’ll be in the kid’s part if you need us.”

At Sinu’s words, Lauren pulls her away, in the direction of the biggest rollercoaster in the park. Camila looks at it reluctantly. “I’m not sure I want to go on that, Lolo. Maybe something smaller.”

“We should- um…” Lauren frowns at her. “What’s the phrase again? _Go big or go home_. That.”

Camila lets out a nervous laugh as Lauren’s pace doesn’t slow. “I’m serious, though. I don’t think I want to go on that, at least not straight away. If I do, I want to work up to it.”

Lauren pouts. “But I want to! Just do it, it’s not a big deal.”

“No, Laur,” Camila shakes her head and digs her heels in as Lauren tries to get her in the line. “You can go on it later with my dad or something. I don’t want to go on and the line is really long, too.”

“ _Camz_ ,” Lauren groans, “it’s just a ride, why are you trying to ruin my day?”

“I’m not,” Camila shakes her head, “I want you to have a good day, and I said you could go on it later. I just don’t want to, and even if I do, I’d want to work up to it and go on some smaller things first.”

“But I want to go on it _now_ ,” Lauren huffs and folds her arms across her chest, “you’re making me upset.”

“I never said you couldn’t go on it,” Camila says, noting that there’s a bench, “If you’re that desperate, I’ll sit over there and wait for you to go on it.”

“But- but it’d be way easier for us both to just go on,” Lauren pulls at her arm, “I don’t understand why you’re being difficult and trying to upset me. Just go on it, it’s not even a big deal anyway. Don’t you want me to be happy?”

“That’s kind of manipulative, Laur,” Camila points out, not wanting to be pressured into anything, “I know you want to go on, but trying to guilt me into it isn’t the best way to go about it.”

“I’m not- I’m not _manipulating_ you into anything.” Lauren frowns at her. “I don’t know how to do that. I just really want to go on the ride and you’re making me upset.”

“I know, but you saying stuff like _don’t you want me to be happy_ is pretty manipulative, Lo,” Camila points out, sitting down on the bench. Lauren sits next to her with a frown. “I get that maybe you didn’t mean it to sound like that, but you shouldn’t try to pressure me, even when it’s something trivial like going on a ride.”

“Oh,” Lauren looks down at her feet, “did I- are you sad?”

Camila shakes her head. “I’m not sad.”

“What about angry?” Lauren asks. “Are you angry at me? You don’t look angry, but you could be acting like Ally, who doesn’t look angry when she is. But I’ve only seen Ally mad once.”

“I’m not mad,” Camila confirms, taking Lauren’s hand and squeezing it. “I promise. I’m just trying to explain what you were saying.”

“I- I didn’t mean to!” Lauren looks up in fright. “I’m sorry that I made you feel like I was- um, trying to _guilt you into it_. That’s not- I just really wanted to go on it with you. That’s all.”

“And we might, but later, because if I’m going to go on that monster of a rollercoaster, I have to warm up to it first,” Camila is quick to explain, “so… we should start off on something smaller and work our way up. But you’ll have to protect me, Laur.”

“I will always protect you,” Lauren announces with a smile. “I love you. I did not mean to, um, sound manipulative. I wanted you to go on because the ride looks scary to me, too. I’d like a hand to hold, and I’d rather not hold your dad’s hand, because while he’s nice, I don’t know him very well.”

Camila laughs in reply. “Yeah, you holding my dad’s hand isn’t something I particularly want to happen. I’d rather you held mine.”

“I like holding hands with you,” Lauren says, staring down at their intertwined fingers. “Your hands are always warm. I like holding hands with my friends too, like Mani and Lucy, but I’d rather hold yours because you’re my girlfriend, so you have the best hands.”

Camila smiles and stands up. “Come on. Let’s find a smaller ride to start off on. Preferably one that doesn’t have like, eight hundred loops.”

“Your hands are good at other things, too,” Lauren continues as if she hadn’t heard her. “Would you like to have sex later? I think I’d quite like that.”

Camila shrugs, used to her girlfriend’s bluntness and need to plan. “Sure. I’d be perfectly okay with that.”

“Good,” Lauren smiles. “I wrote in my journal that I’d like to make love to you while we’re here. So we can do it tonight, and I will make you feel good as- as an apology for, um… for trying to manipulate you into going on a ride with me.”

“Hey, no, Laur,” Camila shakes her head, “You didn’t intend to guilt me into anything. It just came out that way and you didn’t realise. I’m not mad.”

“Well, I still want to make you feel good,” Lauren rocks on her heels as they approach a ride. “is this ride okay? Does it look too scary?”

Camila looks up at the rollercoaster. It’s not too tall, compared to the previous one, and she can’t see any upside down parts. It seems similar to the Yeti ride at Disney. “Yeah. This one is good.”

“Okay,” Lauren pulls her into the line – according to the sign at the entrance, there’s a ten minute wait. “I don’t like waiting in lines. It makes my feet hurt.”

Camila shrugs. “Like I said, if I ever win the lottery, I’m going to close down the Animal Kingdom for you. No lines and no loud people.”

“But that means we wouldn’t be able to invite Dinah and Mani, if there were no loud people,” Lauren frowns. “And I’d want them there. And Ally, Lucy, Keana and Alexa.”

“How’re things going with Lucy and Keana?” Camila asks. “They said they were going to go out, right? Did either of them give you any updates?”

“I think they’re dating friends right now,” Lauren says, “not girlfriends yet, but I’ll connect to the wifi and ask Lucy. Not now, because she’s probably still in bed, it’s 6AM in Miami. But later.”

Camila smiles. “So their date went well?”

“Mhm, Lucy texted me after it and told me that Keana was really understanding and took her to the art gallery and then her favourite restaurant and made sure that they were sat upstairs where it’s quieter. She said they kissed, too, and that- that she felt the way she did when she had her first kiss with Vero.”

Camila frowns at that. “Did Vero ever make up with her? I know you yelled at her and told her to leave Lucy alone, but do you think they ever got in contact?”

“Apparently they texted,” Lauren says, “Lucy, um… wasn’t happy with her. But I think they’re on the road to being friends again, especially now that Lucy has moved on and is happy being dating friends with Keana.”

“I’m glad things are going well for her,” Camila replies, “Lucy, I mean. She’s really sweet and I was sad when she mentioned she didn’t really have any friends and when she lost Vero.”

“Lucy’s my friend!” Lauren stares at her in surprise. “Why’d she say she doesn’t have friends? She has me!”

“Other than you, Laur,” Camila laughs. “She said other than you. And I told her I’m her friend, too.”

“Good, because Lucy has to be my friend, she’s going to be my maid of honour at our wedding. Duh,” Lauren rolls her eyes. “If she wasn’t my friend, then she wouldn’t be my maid of honour.”

Camila hums in thought. “I need to pick mine.”

“Yours will be Dinah, I bet,” Lauren says, “because DJ is your best friend. Even though she didn’t like you at first.”

“You know, I would be shocked about that, but she mentioned that at prom.” Camila replies. “Apparently you, being the sweetest person in the world, defended me when the girls were planning on telling me to go away.”

Lauren blushes. “It wasn’t fair. They barely knew you and- and I thought you were nice and I liked drawing you, so… I wanted to keep you around.”

Camila grins. “Because you _liked_ me.”

“I- um, I didn’t, not then,” Lauren is quick to argue, her cheeks bright red, “I only- um… okay… maybe I did. But I didn’t realise until after I slept at your house that time. You were so nice to me and- and, um, after that I realised I wanted to ask you out. And I tried to, but…”

“But we were interrupted by a wild fuckboy,” Camila finishes for her, “I’m happy with the way things worked out, though. Look at us, we’re happy and in love and we know that we’re going to stay together. And one day you’ll be my wife. When we’re both ready for that.”

“And when we have enough money to throw a really extravagant wedding party,” Lauren smiles. “I’d like to make our wedding really great. It’ll be so much fun, and I’ll be married to you, so that’ll be nice too.”

Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “I love you, Lolo lion.”

“Yes,” Lauren beams. “I love you too.”

-

Even though Camila is shaking a lot while they wait, they end up going on the big rollercoaster. Camila’s sure that Lauren’s wide smile is worth it.

Plus, her girlfriend is there to protect her. Nothing could go wrong when Lauren’s there.

After they meet up with Camila’s family at four, like Sinu had instructed, they go out for dinner at a restaurant and Camila cringes when Lauren orders a rare steak. She cringes even more when her girlfriend mops up the leftover blood on her plate with the fries.

Camila sticks with pizza for dinner, and Lauren makes fun of her for it. “You’re going to- um, turn into a pizza. That’s what my mom says when I eat something a lot, that I’m going to turn into it.”

Camila shrugs. “Pizzas are great. It’ll make me like ten times more attractive.”

“No! You’re very attractive now, I like you a lot,” Lauren smiles at her, “I don’t want you to turn into a pizza.”

“One day I’m going to combine my two favourite foods,” Camila decides on the spot, “I’m going to make a banana pizza. I can already tell it’ll be disgusting.”

Lauren frowns. “You’re weird.”

“I know,” Camila kisses her cheek, “but you love my weirdness.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods her head, “I love you lots. Oh, actually, I need to do something.”

Camila frowns. “What?”

“Um,” Lauren turns to look at Alejandro, doing her best to make eye contact. “I figured it’s best to get this out of the way early, and I read online that- _Camz, shut up_ ,” Lauren pauses when Camila laughs at ‘I read online’, “Um, anyway, I read that you’re supposed to ask the girl you love’s father for permission. So I’d like to ask in advance if… if it’s okay that I marry Camila. When we’re older, obviously, because I don’t have enough money to buy a nice ring and plan a wedding, but… but I like to plan ahead, so… is it okay? If I marry Camz?”

Camila stares at Lauren in awe, kissing her girlfriend’s cheek. After a few moments of silence, Alejandro smiles at them both. “Of course it is, Lauren.”

Lauren beams. “Okay. Good.”

“Looks like we’re good for whenever you consider yourself rich enough for marriage,” Camila laughs, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “I look forward to the inevitably adorable proposal.”

“Yes, it will be really good,” Lauren promises her. “I will make it amazing for you because I love you. And I want… I want the one time someone proposes to be perfect.”

Camila smiles. “You’ll be the one proposing, so it’s already perfect.”

Lauren blushes. “ _Camz_.”

“Will Lamp b-be my sister, then?” Sofi asks. “I w-want Lamp to be my sister too.”

“She’s already basically your sister, Sofi,” Camila answers before anyone else can. “Besides, if Laur’s your sister, that means Chris and Taylor are my siblings, too. So do I have auto authority over them?”

“I don’t even have authority over them,” Lauren answers. “Chris does whatever he wants. Tay listens to me sometimes. If I tell her something is a bad idea then she listens. But Chris just does the thing and acts like nobody warned him when it goes wrong.”

Camila snorts. “Sounds like me.”

“No, you’re quite smart,” Lauren answers, “I am the smartest in my family because I have a- _no, wait_ , I graduated with a 5.0 GPA. And I was valedictorian.”

Camila smiles. “I was so proud of you for your speech. It was amazing.”

“Yes, it was,” Sinu agrees with her, “it was sweet how you mentioned our little Karla.”

“She made school nice,” Lauren shrugs, “I had to mention her, because it was a big part of it. I was glad she moved to Miami, even though she kind of sucked at first.”

“Rude,” Camila comments, “I’ll have you know I’m the most amazing, courteous person you’ll ever meet.”

“Now you are, yes,” Lauren nods, “but you- um, you _shaded_ me, according to Mani and Dinah. I don’t know what that means, but apparently it’s a bad thing. But I don’t care, because you’re my girlfriend and I love you.”

Camila beams. “Love you too.”

Once they finish their dinner, they head back to the holiday home, and Camila pulls Lauren into their shared room. She closes the door and locks it quickly – the last thing she wants is Sofi walking in on them – and she pulls Lauren in for a kiss.

“Oh, are we having sex now?” Lauren asks her, and Camila laughs and nods against her, pulling her in for another kiss. “Okay then.”

Camila pulls Lauren over to the bed, pulling her girlfriend’s sweater off her. She rolls her eyes when Lauren isn’t wearing a bra. “Really, Lo? No bra?”

“I don’t like bras, you know that,” Lauren answers, unzipping Camila’s dress and flashing her a small smile. She carefully folds it and puts it aside. “I really like your body. You’re really pretty.”

Camila smiles and lightly pushes Lauren back against the pillows, kissing her neck. Between kisses, she murmurs, “I love your body too, Laur.”

Lauren smiles at her, and her warm hands rest on Camila’s waist as she pulls her down for a kiss. The older Latina unclasps Camila’s bra and her hands wander across Camila’s chest as the younger girl kisses down her jawline, careful not to leave a hickey.

After a few moments, Camila unbuttons Lauren’s jeans and tosses them aside. Lauren frowns at her. “You should’ve folded them, at least.”

“Yeah, folding them and then throwing them across the room,” Camila laughs. “Really makes sense. We’ll deal with them after, okay?”

Lauren smiles. “Okay.”

After a few more minutes of kissing, Camila making sure to grind against Lauren’s clothed centre with her thigh, the younger Latina trails her hand down and pulls Lauren’s underwear down, teasing her girlfriend’s entrance.

Lauren lets out a moan when Camila slips a finger inside her and starts thrusting it in and out slowly. “Camz. Hurry up. We need to- I need to make you feel good after.”

Camila laughs at Lauren’s words and pulls her in for a kiss, but adds another finger. “We have plenty of time, Laur.”

Lauren whines. “Keep going.”

Camila tries not to laugh, but starts curling her fingers at just the right place, kissing Lauren as gently as she can and murmuring, “I love you,” at every opportunity. Because she really does love Lauren, more than she ever thought she was capable of loving someone.

After a few more annoyed groans and, “ _Camz_ ,” from Lauren, Camila starts thrusting faster and presses her thumb down on Lauren’s clit. After the small gasp and _oh my god_ that it elicits, she starts rubbing slow circles into Lauren’s clit, maintaining eye contact with her girlfriend for a few moments. Lauren mumbles a small, “I love you,” and Camila feels her stomach do flips.

After a few moments, Camila curls her fingers inside her girlfriend, and Lauren lets out a gasp, and Camila quickly covers her mouth before she can call out. Lauren’s fingernails dig into her back, and Camila dots kisses down her girlfriend’s jawline and helps the older Latina ride out her orgasm.

Lauren buries her face in Camila’s neck and wraps her arms around her. While Lauren is unresponsive for a few moments, it’s not long before she flips them over on the bed and pulls Camila’s underwear down.

“Wow, I don’t even get a kiss beforehand?” Camila jokes, “Damn, Lo. You’re really- _fuck­-”_

Camila cuts herself off when Lauren starts tracing circles around her clit with her tongue, and the younger girl gasps in surprise. She hadn’t expected that so soon.

The ache between Camila’s legs intensifies as Lauren sucks on her clit, and the younger girl finds herself pushing Lauren’s head between her legs, trying to stay as quiet as she possibly can. She’d rather have done this while they’re home alone, but the likelihood of her family leaving them alone is pretty slim.

Lauren pumps two fingers into Camila’s dripping wet centre, and keeps tracing circles around Camila’s clit with her tongue. The younger girl lets out a moan, and Lauren reaches up and clasps her free hand over Camila’s mouth. “Quiet, Camz.”

Camila nods, and the older girl moves up to dot kisses down her neck and sucks on her collarbone. Camila knows it’s going to leave a mark, but she doesn’t care at all.

Lauren keeps her hand over Camila’s mouth and uses her other hand to pump two fingers into Camila’s core, pressing down on her clit with her thumb. The younger Latina’s moans are muffled by Lauren’s hand, and she swears to god, Lauren’s getting too good at this. She might as well be magic, because a feeling of pure ecstasy comes over Camila in waves, and she’s biting down on Lauren’s hand to stop herself from making any noise.

When she comes down from her high, Camila rests her head against Lauren’s shoulder and lets out a shaky breath. “You’re good at that.”

“You hurt my hand,” Lauren murmurs, “you weren’t supposed to bite me, dumbass.”

Camila laughs. “Sorry, baby.”

“It’s okay,” Lauren smiles and pulls her in for a hug. “We need to get dressed in case anyone comes in.”

Camila crosses the room and puts her dress back on, but Lauren pulls her Simba onesie on and settles down on the bed with a book. Camila can’t help but smile as she looks at her girlfriend, and after a few moments, crosses the room to join her on the bed. She curls up next to her, and Lauren puts an arm around her and starts tracing patterns against the exposed skin on Camila’s arm.

After around ten minutes, someone knocks on the door and tries the handle, and Camila hears her mother’s stern voice. “Karla Camila, what did we tell you about locking this door?”

 _Too late, mom_ , Camila thinks with a grin, and after ruffling Lauren’s hair and getting an indignant _“Hey!”_ out of her girlfriend, she unlocks the door with an excuse ready. “Lauren was getting changed. That’s why it was locked.”

“Oh,” Sinu looks over at Lauren, who’s cuddled up in her Simba onesie. “Okay. Keep this door unlocked.”

With that, she leaves, and Camila turns and looks at her girlfriend. As if on cue, both of them burst out laughing, and Camila kicks the door closed before she cuddles up next to her giggling girlfriend.

-

“We get to see the lions!” Lauren announces with a grin. “I love lions.”

“Mhm,” Camila smiles, “because you’re Lolo lion.”

“Yes, but- but I want to see what lions they have. Maybe they have cubs!” Lauren beams. “And maybe the info board will have facts I don’t know. I’m really excited.”

“Mom, it’s urgent that we see the lions,” Camila says as Sinu, Alejandro and Sofi catch up to them. “Laur’s a lion _fanatic_. She’d probably marry one if it was legal.”

Lauren pulls a face. “No, I wouldn’t! But I would keep one as a pet. Did you know that an actress had a pet lion? Her name was Melanie Griffith. I wish I had a pet lion.”

“No way are we getting a lion when we’re older,” Camila says. “I’d definitely fuck up and it’d maul me.”

“Language,” Alejandro scolds her, and Camila rolls her eyes. “We’ll see the lions first, okay?”

“Yes,” Lauren rocks on her heels as Sinu pays for their tickets. “I’m so excited to see them. Also all of the other big cats they have.”

“At least this time, you’re not wearing your ugly hat,” Camila comments, trying not to laugh when she sees Lauren’s scowl. “That’d be a disaster.”

After a hardened glare from Lauren, the older Latina opens up her backpack and pulls her hat out, putting it on. “I’m going to wear this to annoy you.”

Camila pouts at her. “But _Laur_. It’s ugly. Tell her, Sofi. Tell her how ugly her hat is.”

After a few moments of looking at Lauren, Sofi nods. “Yeah, Lamp, i-it’s ugly.”

Lauren frowns. “It must be a Cabello thing. You all hate my hat because you’re all mean. Except your parents, they’re nice because they invited me on holiday with you.”

Camila grabs Lauren’s hat and stuffs it into her backpack. “There. Now you look perfect.”

Lauren scowls at her. “Give it back.”

“I will,” Camila tells her, “ _after_ today. I can’t be associated with you if you wear that. No offence.”

“I’m going to wear it at our wedding if you keep making fun of it,” Lauren threatens, and Camila shuts her mouth straight away. “I’m- I’m not joking. I don’t get why you’re so mean to my hat. I like it so you should just… let me wear it.”

“I would, if it was literally anything else.” Camila replies. “But honestly, Laur, a hat like that deserves to be dragged. And I’m not going to go easy on you just because you’re autistic. That’d be treating you differently, and you don’t like it when people do that. I’d drag Dinah if she wore something like that.”

“Drag?” Lauren frowns at her. “But you’re not dragging me anywhere?”

Camila ruffles Lauren’s hair and kisses her cheek. “You’re too cute.”

Lauren frowns. “I want to know what drag means in this context. Please tell me.”

“Make fun of,” Camila answers simply. “Come on, let’s go see the lions, anyway.”

“Oh, yes!” Lauren beams and Camila’s stomach flutters. “I love lions. I’m really excited to see them, because- um, I haven’t been to see any lions since we went to the Animal Kingdom for our anniversary.”

“I can’t wait to hear even more big cat facts,” Camila smiles, looking over at Sofi, “Hey, Sofi, do you want to learn a bunch of stuff about the lions and jaguars? Because Lauren knows _everything_ about them.”

“She d-does?” Sofi looks up at Lauren for confirmation.

“I mean… I’m sure there’s more for me to learn, too,” Lauren says, “But… but I guess… I know quite a lot.”

“She’s lying, she knows too much,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “I was like, blown away by all of the lion facts I got at Disney.”

Lauren shrugs. “I will give you more facts if you’d like them.”

“Save them for later,” Camila says, “we can wow my parents. I mean, they already know you’re smart, because of the whole valedictorian thing, but if you teach my little sister, they’ll love you more than they already do.”

Lauren smiles. “Yes, I am very smart, I graduated with-”

“Let me guess,” Camila cuts in, “a… 4.5 GPA?”

Lauren stares at her for a moment. “You’re joking with me, aren’t you?”

“Mhm,” Camila hums in reply, “You’re getting really good at identifying that, you know. I’m proud of you.”

“I’m only good at it with you,” Lauren replies, “because I know you so well. I know your sense of humour and your personality traits and how your mind works and I love it a lot.”

“I love your mind too,” Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek and pulls her ahead of her parents and sister. “Come on. My parents will meet us at the lions. We’re going to go ahead and I’ll get to watch you gush about the lions.”

Lauren lets Camila pull her through the zoo, following the maps, until they reach the lion’s enclosure. Lauren stares at the lions – there’s two males and three females, and she can see a couple of cubs too. “Look at the cubs, Camz. They’re so cute.”

“Like you, then,” Camila answers with a teasing smile. “They’re all sleeping, though. It sucks you won’t get to see them wandering around.”

“Lions sleep for at least eighteen hours a day,” Lauren informs her. “So it’s more likely that they’ll be sleeping rather than awake when you go to a zoo. Although, after a big meal, it’s possible for lions to sleep for a full twenty four hours.”

“My kind of life,” Camila comments. “Big meals help me sleep more, too. Plus, eating is like, my favourite activity. Maybe _I’m_ Camila lion. And you’re… Lolo tiger or something.”

“No!” Lauren shakes her head. “You can’t change my nickname now, I’m Lolo lion, that has alliteration and- and it’s _my_ nickname, drunk Camila gave it to me.”

“I was joking, Laur,” Camila tells her, squeezing her hand. “You’re always going to be my cute little Lolo lion. Promise.”

“Okay then,” Lauren relaxes. “Your family are coming.”

Camila looks in the same direction as Lauren and smiles. “Oh, yeah. Hey, Sofi! Lauren’s going to tell you some facts.”

After Lauren explaining as many facts as she can to Sofi, and adding some about the other big cats they have at the zoo, they head off to see the rest of the animals. Lauren asks to go see the lions again, so Camila and Lauren separate from Camila’s family, promising to meet them at the tiger enclosure once they’re done looking at the lions again.

Lauren spends ten minutes staring at the animals and explaining to Camila why she loves them so much – one of the reasons is _their manes look so fluffy!_ – and Camila basically has to drag her away, promising that they’ll go to the zoo in Miami at some point soon.

Before they meet up with Camila’s family, the younger girl makes them stop for a bathroom break, and when she’s washing her hands, she catches Lauren fixing her hair in the mirror, and she can’t help but smile, because she doesn’t know how the hell she managed to get one of the prettiest people in the world to fall for her.

Lauren turns to her with a smile and brushes down the black cropped hoodie she’s wearing. “Are we going to meet your family now?”

Camila shakes her head. “Nope. We’re going to make out.”

“Oh,” Lauren smiles. “Okay then.”

Camila pulls Lauren in for a kiss, aware of the ache between her legs, but they’ve already done that once this vacation and that’s all Lauren had planned, so she’s going to ignore it.

Lauren stares at her for a few moments, before she pulls her back into the empty stall, kissing Camila’s sharp jawline. “You’re _turned on_ , you got that look in your eye. Am I right?”

“You’re- um, yeah,” Camila nods, “but we don’t have to do it again when we get back. You planned for one time, and-”

“I don’t want to have sex when we get back,” Lauren says between kisses, “I am going to make you feel good now.”

Camila stares at her in surprise, and Lauren locks the stall they’re in, kissing her cheek and keeping her pinned against the stall wall. “Laur, you don’t have to.”

Lauren slips her hand into Camila’s jeans in response, and teases her clit over her underwear. “Do you want to?”

After a few moments of silence, Camila nods, inwardly praying that the bathroom stays empty. “Well, yeah, but-”

“Then I’m going to make you feel good,” Lauren smiles, at her, pulling her in for a kiss. She lightly bites Camila’s bottom lip, her left hand cupping Camila’s jawline while her right hand traces the younger Latina’s clit over her underwear.

Camila bucks her hips as Lauren keeps teasing her, and the older girl slips her right hand into Camila’s panties, using two fingers to massage the younger girl’s clit. Camila tries her best to stay quiet, but fails, and lets out a throaty, “ _Lauren_ ,” as the older girl speeds her movements up slightly, still going relatively slow.

Lauren kisses down her neck, and sucks on the soft skin of Camila’s collarbone, and the smaller girl wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist, pulling her closer. Camila’s fingers dig into Lauren’s back, and the older girl kisses her again, sucking on Camila’s bottom lip as her fingers move slowly.

“Lauren,” Camila murmurs, grinding against Lauren’s hand as best as she can. “Faster, babe.”

Lauren complies, sliding two fingers into Camila’s wet centre and pumping them slowly, her thumb massaging the younger girl’s clit a little faster. Camila lets out a moan, but Lauren cuts it off by kissing her, making sure she stays quiet.

The fear that anyone could walk in on them makes it ten times hotter, and Camila’s walls start tightening around Lauren’s fingers. The older girl curls them at just the right place, thrusting them faster and adding another at just the right time. She presses down on Camila’s clit, and kisses her again at just the right time, cutting off any possible moans as Camila rides out her orgasm.

Almost like a switch is flipped, Lauren’s face flushes and she awkwardly moves away. “Camz… I don’t- why did we-”

“Laur,” Camila kisses her, still a little breathless, “It’s okay. Honestly… the whole public thing makes it way hotter.”

“But- but,” Lauren’s cheeks flush and she shrugs, “I just- was it okay? I’m not- other than a car or a bed… I’ve never- not like that…”

“It was perfect,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand and fingers the lock on the door. “Are you okay?”

“I- um, yes…” Lauren nods, “Are you sure it was good?”

“Mhm. I would say this is the best holiday ever, but that’d be Disney,” Camila grins, kissing Lauren’s flushed face, “Come on. My parents will be wondering where the hell we got to.”

Lauren follows after her, a dazed smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posting this as a celebration because i'm officially nineteen and i feel so old lmfao


	70. Chapter 70

When Lauren sits up and rubs at her eyes, the first thing she notices is Dash cuddled up on her bed next to her. She smiles, because she loves cuddling Dash, even though he’s not really supposed to be on her bed – she has a little makeshift basket for him by the side of her bed – but she’s not going to tell him off. It’s her dad’s rule anyway, so she’ll just put him on the floor if she hears someone coming up the stairs.

She reaches over and pets her puppy, smiling to herself. “Morning, Dash. I’m nineteen today.”

Dash wags his tail, and Lauren beams, because she thinks Dash understands her. He’s really smart, just like her, and she’s taught him loads of tricks.

After a few moments of stroking Dash’s fur, she hears footsteps coming up the stairs and puts him back on his makeshift basket, sending her mom an innocent smile when she walks into the room with a tray.

“Hi, mami,” Lauren greets her, sitting up. “Dash knows it’s my birthday, he’s really smart.”

“Happy birthday, sweetheart,” Clara smiles at her, passing her the tray. “Your papi made breakfast for you, bacon and eggs just how you like them. You’ll find a card there, too.”

Lauren frowns, and tucked under her plate is a small envelope. “Is this my birthday present from you?”

“No,” Clara shakes her head, “your cards and presents are in the lounge. This is something from Camila. She told me to give it to you when she left this morning.”

Lauren blinks in surprise, and when she looks around, she realises that Camila isn’t here, but she’d stayed over last night. “Why’d she leave? Did she forget it’s my birthday? I- I wanted to spend time with her today, why would she leave?”

“The card will explain that,” Clara smiles, “I think you’ll enjoy what she has planned.”

Lauren digs her finger under the opening and slides the card out. As she reads the quick note, she frowns even more.

_Happy birthday, Lolo lion!_

_You’re probably wondering why I’m not waking you up with my annoyingly bad jokes today, and that’s because you’re going on a little scavenger hunt for your present. There’s six more clues for you to find at different locations across Miami, and the last one will lead you to me._

_Here’s your clue – Back before we were dating, which place did you get the courage to ask me out?_

_(Don’t worry the clues aren’t weird and figurative because I literally would be at the last location for a decade.)_

_Anyway, good luck!_

_Love, Camila._

“But…” Lauren frowns. “She got it wrong. Because I asked her out here. After I got my wisdom teeth out.”

“I think she meant something different,” Clara sends her a teasing smile, “when did you start liking her?”

“After her first few weeks at school.” Lauren answers, before her eyes widen and she smiles to herself. “School! I tried asking her to homecoming but we got interrupted, and I did that on the way to music class, but school is closed now because it’s summer, so it can’t be that.”

“Maybe someone is waiting outside.” Clara hints. “Let me know when you finish your breakfast and I’ll drive you there.”

Lauren frowns to herself, but pulls herself out of bed and heads over to her closet. She gets out of her Simba onesie and changes into a sweater and jeans, not bothering to brush her hair. She finishes the breakfast her dad made her, and then heads downstairs, Dash following at her heels.

She pulls on her scuffed Converse, giving her sister a big hug when she sees her in the lounge, and decides that she’s too excited to do Camila’s scavenger hunt to open her other cards and presents. She’ll do that later.

“Mami, I’m ready to go,” Lauren calls her mom as she waits by the door. Not long after, Clara appears out of the kitchen and they head out to the car. “You don’t have to drive me. I- I can drive myself if it’s too much trouble…”

“I want to drive you,” Clara answers, “it’s your nineteenth and I’m going to drive you to your first location.”

“Oh,” Lauren hums in thought. “Well, um… okay then. Good. I- I like spending time with you. But sometimes I’m not sure if… never mind.”

Clara glances over at her as she starts the car. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Lauren shakes her head, “it’s- um, dumb. Because I know you love me.”

“Of course I love you,” Clara replies. “You’re my little girl and I’m so proud of you.”

Lauren flushes. “I’m- I’m not little. I’m… I’m badass.”

Clara laughs. “Okay then. But I’m still proud of you for how much you’ve grown.”

“Mhm, yes,” Lauren nods. “I’m 5’4. That’s a good height, I think, and I haven’t grown much for the past year because I’ve been 5’4 for a while.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Clara answers, “I meant that you don’t worry as much as you used to. Back when you were younger, you were always so frightened and on edge. Only in these past few years have you stopped worrying about others.”

“I worry about others,” Lauren frowns, “like Camz, I worry about her a lot, because she’s quite clumsy and falls over at least three times a day.”

“Again, not what I meant,” Clara says, “you’re less self-conscious. I’m so proud of you every time you stand up for yourself or just ask for what you want.”

“Oh,” Lauren answers. “Like when I told you to stop making me do things like eye contact? Because you used to- um, be kind of mean, but you haven’t for a while, which makes me happy, because I feel like you get me now.”

“Like that, yes,” Clara responds. “And I’m so sorry I wasn’t more understanding when you were younger.”

Lauren frowns. “Why are we talking about that? You’re better now and that’s what matters. If you still shouted all the time and told me bad stuff like ‘I wish you were never born’ then I’d have moved out last year and stayed at Camila’s or Manibear’s.”

“I never meant that,” Clara promises her. “I’ll always regret saying that to you.”

“It’s okay,” Lauren flashes her a smile. “I forgave you ages ago, when you bought me a Simba and gave me tummy rubs. I love tummy rubs.”

As they pull up outside of the school, Clara holds her hand out, and Lauren, knowing what that means, takes it with a smile. “I love you so much, Lauren.”

“I love you too!” Lauren beams, spotting the figure by the school’s front doors. “Is that Manibear?”

Clara shrugs. “I don’t know. Go on, get your clue.”

Lauren gets out of the car and walks towards the school, realising that it’s definitely Normani as she gets closer. “Hi, Mani.”

“Happy birthday, Laurenza,” Normani grins, and Lauren pulls her best friend in for a hug. “Here’s your clue. Originally it was supposed to be Dinah here, but she refused to get out of bed before eleven, so she’s at a later location.”

Lauren laughs. “What’s the clue?”

Normani passes her another envelope, and Lauren opens it up, reading the message from Camila.

_You’re at the second location!!!_

_Okay, clue 2 – I always make fun of you for this (no, it’s not where you bought your ugly hat) and if it’s possible to overdose on it, you definitely would. Also, we went here on our first date before I knew of your extreme addiction._

_Love, Camila_

_(p.s. when you see her, tell Dinah she’s a lazy asshole.)_

Lauren frowns. “Is she talking about ice cream?”

“Well, I’d hope so,” Normani laughs, “because if you smoked weed on your first date-”

“I didn’t, so… so she’s talking about ice cream. I’m going to go to my favourite ice cream shop.” Lauren says, her expression brightening. “I can get myself a triple scoop strawberry cone!”

Normani laughs. “I’ll drive you, if you want. I could go for some ice cream and that could be like, a second birthday present from me. Buying you a strawberry ice cream.”

“No, I want _triple scoop_ ,” Lauren corrects her, before glancing back at her mom in the car. “I’ll- um, I’ll go tell my mom that we’re getting ice cream. Hold on.”

Lauren skips back over to her car, opening the door and offering her mom a shy smile. “Mami, Manibear and I are going for ice cream. I will see you when I get home. Are we going for dinner?”

“We’re already booked in for your favourite restaurant.” Clara assures her. “For half past six. Don’t take too long for your little hunt, because we’ve booked for six people and we want the birthday girl and her girlfriend there.”

Lauren nods. “Promise. See you later.”

As her mom drives away, Lauren runs back over to Normani and takes her friend’s hand. They head over to Normani’s car – the only one in the parking lot – and as they get in, Normani sends a text.

Lauren, being nosey, looks over her shoulder. “Who’re you texting?”

“Mila,” Normani replies, “letting her know that you’ve got your second clue and we’re going to the ice cream place now, but we might be a while because _someone_ wants a triple scoop strawberry cone.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “Me. I want one.”

Normani laughs down at her phone. “Mila says ‘of _course_ she wants an ice cream she’s obsessed’ and ‘obsessed’ is in all caps.”

Lauren pulls her own phone out and sends a text to Camila.

**_Lolo lion (11:08AM): I don’t know how you knew I’d want ice cream, so I think you’re psychic._ **

**_Camz (11:08AM): STOP BEING CUTE OR I’LL BE TEMPTED TO TELL YOU WHERE I AM BECAUSE I WANT CUDDLES_ **

**_Lolo lion (11:09AM): I didn’t think I was being cute? But I love you and I can’t wait to see you later! :D_ **

**_Camz (11:09AM): i love you too lolo i’ll see u soon_ **

**_Camz (11:09AM): now stop texting me ur making it less mysterious_ **

Lauren doesn’t reply to that, because Camila had told her to stop texting, so she does. Instead, she texts Dinah.

**_Ralph (11:10AM): Good morning, Lazy Asshole. (Camz told me to say that.)_ **

**_The Greatest Human on Earth and the Most Amazing Friend Dinah Jane (11:10AM): you are so lucky that its your birthday or I woulda killed u for interrupting my beauty sleep lol_ **

**_Ralph (11:10AM) When did you change your contact name in my phone??? It was DJ before???_ **

**_The Greatest Human on Earth and the Most Amazing Friend Dinah Jane (11:11AM): you’ll never find out lmao_ **

**_The Greatest Human on Earth and the Most Amazing Friend Dinah Jane (11:11AM): DJ has her ways ;) that’s why im the greatest human on earth duhh_ **

**_Ralph (11:12AM): You’re weird._ **

**_The Greatest Human on Earth and the Most Amazing Friend Dinah Jane (11:12AM): your weirder_ **

**_Ralph (11:12AM): ****You’re_ **

“Dinah is really bad at grammar,” Lauren absently mentions. “Like… like, remember when she didn’t know which one was a suffix and which was a prefix? That was dumb.”

“Pretty sure that tweet is still on the internet,” Normani adds, “even if it isn’t, I have the screenshots.”

Lauren giggles. “Prefix of –ed. Funny.”

“I like how you tease her back now.” Normani smiles. “Like, you never used to. You’d just sit there and take whatever she said about you, but now you make fun of her back.”

“Because I’m good at being- um, being mean in a nice way. To my friends,” Lauren answers. “Like, um, Camila makes fun of me for wearing a hat I like, so I make fun of her for being really clumsy.”

“If I’m thinking of the same hat, then Mila is my new best friend.” Normani laughs. “That was a disaster and I can’t believe I let you purchase the monstrosity.”

“I _like_ it.” Lauren pouts. “There’s nothing wrong with it. You never make fun of my beanies.”

“Because your beanies are cute,” Normani argues. “Especially your panda one, but you barely wear beanies anymore.”

“I have that in my backpack!” Lauren excitedly replies, unzipping her backpack and pulling out her panda beanie, pulling it on her head. “See? I still wear beanies.”

“You look cute,” Normani compliments her, and Lauren smiles to herself. “I’m more of a snapback kind of girl.”

“Camila is like that,” Lauren says, “but she always wears them backwards. She says it’s for her ‘ironic aesthetic’ but I don’t know what that means, so I just smile and nod.”

Normani rolls her eyes. “I never know what Mila’s talking about most of the time. Sometimes she sends me random memes with no context. I’m starting to think that’s Camila talk for ‘hello’.”

“She sends me lots of puns,” Lauren smiles to herself. “I like puns, because I can understand them, since it’s just a play on words.”

After a few moments of silence, and they stop at a red light, Normani glances over at her. “How are you feeling about college, Lo?”

“I think it’ll be nice,” Lauren answers, “I’m a little worried about- um, about all of the changes and new things, because I don’t like change, but like Camz said, I’ll settle into a routine. And- and… I’m really looking forward to living with her, because I’ll get to wake up next to her every day, and she always looks really pretty on a morning. Well, she looks pretty all the time… but you know, I like- I like waking up next to her. And I want to do it forever, because I really love her. I love her more than I ever thought I was capable of loving someone.”

“I know she loves you a lot too,” Normani answers, and Lauren beams when they pull out onto the beach, because she’s going to get her triple scoop strawberry cone. “Seriously, she wouldn’t stop texting me when she was organising all of this, telling me I needed to get Dinah involved because she wanted to make today perfect for you.”

“Well, it would’ve been nice if she’d stayed at my house until I woke up,” Lauren says as Normani parks, “but I’m- I’m happy that she did this, because it’s creative and even though I wasn’t expecting it, I like working out the clues because I have a 5.0 GPA, so I’m good at working things out.”

“Come on,” Normani laughs. “Let’s get you your ice cream. Hopefully we’ll be done by the time Ally arrives to give you the next clue.”

Lauren gets two triple strawberry cones eaten by the time Ally shows up, holding a similar envelope to the last time. ‘Clue 3’ is written on it in Camila’s messy scrawl, and Lauren takes it from her friend as she joins her and Normani at the table.

“I had to get the bus, that’s why I’m late,” Ally tells them, “my car wouldn’t start, so I can’t take Lauren to the next place.”

“We’ll both go, then,” Normani says as Lauren finishes off her second ice cream and opens up the envelope. “Normalren trip to- wait, Laur, have you worked it out yet?”

Lauren, who had stolen Normani’s remaining ice cream and is munching on the cone, looks up innocently and shakes her head. With her mouth full of ice cream cone, she mumbles. “No.”

Ally laughs. “She’s busy stealing your ice cream.”

Normani rolls her eyes. “I would’ve let you have it if you just asked.”

“Oh,” Lauren swallows her last mouthful and goes back to the clue. “Well… um, do you want me to read it out loud? Or do you guys know where it is?”

Ally smiles. “We already know.”

Lauren nods, and reads over Camila’s third clue.

_I doubt you’ll make it to the next location for another three hours because you’ll be too busy eating literally all the ice cream the shop has, but here’s your next clue anyway._

_When I came up with the ABSOLUTELY AMAZING nickname that you’re going to literally have for the rest of your life – I’m talking we’ll be ninety and in rocking chairs and I’ll still call you it – where was I before I came to yours?_

_HINT: it’s something neither of us like very much._

_See you soon_

_Love, Camila_

There’s a small, badly drawn animal at the bottom of the page, and judging by the jagged lines near its head, Lauren thinks it’s a lion, which would make sense, because she’s Lolo lion.

“I don’t get this one,” Lauren announces after a few moments of thought. “I know she’s talking about a party, because we both hate parties, and she came to my house after one because she was really drunk and wanted chicken nuggets and that’s when she called me Lolo lion for the first time. But I don’t remember where the party was.”

“Think about it,” Normani says, “which one of our friends didn’t want to get up before twelve today and is a lazy ass?”

“Oh, Dinah!” Lauren beams, “the party was at Dinah’s?”

“Yeah,” Ally answers. “And if you’re not wanting another ice cream cone, we can head off.”

“Okay,” Lauren smiles and follows Ally and Normani out of the ice cream shop. “I love you guys, you know? Thanks for- um, going along with Camila’s plans.”

“We thought it was cute,” Ally tells her. “She’s been planning this for a while, and we’re all giving her running updates on where you’re at right now.”

“How many clues are left?” Lauren asks. “Because I miss her and I want my birthday kiss.”

“After this one there’s two more and then you’ll get to see her.” Ally explains. “There’s seven in total, the one your mom gave you, then Mani’s, then me, then Dinah, then someone else, then two people giving you the next one, and someone else after that.”

“Oh,” Lauren murmurs, “because I miss her.”

“I know you do,” Normani smiles, “but it won’t take that long. You’d probably already be on the fourth one if you hadn’t stopped for loads of ice cream.”

“I will not take any more detours,” Lauren decides on the spot. “We’re- we need to speed up.”

Thankfully, it doesn’t take long to get to Dinah’s, and when Dinah opens up her front door, still in her pyjamas, Normani gives her a quick kiss before telling Lauren that she’ll see her later. After a quick goodbye hug from both her and Ally, Lauren waves to them and walks into Dinah’s house, following her friend into the lounge.

“Walz’s clue is here,” Dinah passes her the envelope. “Legit thought I lost it this morning when I couldn’t find it in my room.”

“Are you- um, going to get dressed?” Lauren asks. “So… so you can take me to the next place?”

“Well, I need to give you hints and stuff in case Mila wrote it weirdly and you don’t understand it,” Dinah says, “after that I’ll put on some sweats and take you where you need to go.”

“Okay,” Lauren rocks on her heels and opens up the next envelope.

This time, the letter is shorter.

_Hi!!_

_Your next clue – would be back at school, but it’s closed and you need to be inside. It’s a place we both like, and something we found we had in common in the early stages of our friendship. It’s also where you got your first moment of jealousy until you were comforted by the fact that you literally don’t know any straight people._

_You’re getting closer every minute! Love you so much, Lolo._

Lauren reads over the letter and frowns in thought. She’s silent for so long that Dinah interrupts her train of thought with, “Do you need help?”

“No,” Lauren says, “I think she’s talking about the library. But not the school one, the public one. But I’m not one hundred percent certain, because I think the thing she’s talking about happened at the school library. Like- um, that’s where I met Shawn because she was tutoring him, and I was worried that he was flirting until he said he’s gay.”

Dinah smiles. “No wonder you were valedictorian. I’ll get dressed and we’ll head off.”

“Wait,” Lauren stops her, “I _am_ right, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll be quick,” Dinah says, and heads off towards her bedroom. Lauren watches after her for a moment, and when more than five minutes pass, she frowns to herself, because that’s not exactly _quick_.

After chatting with Milika for a few minutes, Dinah finally comes out of her room, in sweats and a t-shirt but with a full face of makeup and her hair clearly curled. “Come on, Ralph.”

Lauren says goodbye to Milika and follows Dinah out of the house, and the younger girl unlocks the family car after promising Milika that _yes, mom, I’ll be careful_.

“I think I’m getting better at _small talk_.” Lauren says as she buckles herself in. “I’m still not sure what makes the talk small, but I think I’m okay at it now.”

Dinah laughs. “It’s just an expression. Probably because you’re not talking about deep stuff or whatever.”

“Oh,” Lauren frowns. “So other talk would be _large talk_?”

“Um…” Dinah shakes her head. “No. But that’s an okay way to put it.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Alright. I love you, DJ.”

Dinah blinks in surprise. “Where’d that come from?”

“Nowhere,” Lauren shrugs. “You’re just one of my best friends, and even though we make fun of each other, I know that- that you’ll always be there for me. And you make me happy.”

Dinah smiles. “You make me happy too, Ralph. Even if you _are_ a weirdo.”

Knowing Dinah doesn’t mean it in a bad way, Lauren smiles back. “You’re weirder.”

“Maybe,” Dinah answers with a grin, “remember that time I called you a freak in the sheets and you got mad at me and didn’t talk to me for three days?”

Lauren laughs to herself. “It would’ve been for longer if Mani hadn’t told me what you meant. I felt bad after that, because I’d ignored you for no reason. But I’m glad that- that we never really fight much. Except for when we were little. Why did you decide to be nice to me?”

“My mom talked to me about it,” Dinah admits, “and told me she was disappointed in me. I was just mad because I thought you were stealing Mani from me.”

Lauren tries her best to smirk. “You- even when we were little, you had a crush on her.”

“I probably did,” Dinah agrees, and Lauren hadn’t been expecting that. “I just didn’t realise what it was. Unlike you.”

“Oh, yes, I came out to my abuela when I was very little,” Lauren announces. “She always knew I liked girls, she was really shocked when I liked a boy. Because- because at my first school I liked this girl in my class who was always really quiet – she was autistic too, but completely nonverbal – and- and when my abuela picked me up one day after school, because I had dinner at her house every Thursday, I pointed the girl out and told my abuela I wanted to kiss the girl. She asked if- if I meant like how my mom and dad are, like, in a romantic sense, and I said yes.”

“Can’t relate,” Dinah answers, “didn’t realise I liked girls too until… two years ago?”

“Late,” Lauren mumbles. “I liked Manibear, too. I’ve never told her that, though.”

Dinah laughs. “When we were kids? Or later on?”

“When we were kids,” Lauren admits, “she- um, she was just really nice to me and she’s pretty and- and I liked her, but then she became my best friend and I didn’t like her after that. In a romantic way, I mean. I think I’ve liked all of you at one point.”

“Wait, seriously?” Dinah laughs. “Damn, Lo. You really move fast.”

“I- I don’t…” Lauren trails off, “is that a joke?”

“Yeah,” Dinah confirms. “But seriously? When did you like me and Ally? Mostly me, I kind of want the ego booster.”

“Um, well, they were all really short crushes, only a couple of days. Two weeks was the longest.” Lauren pauses in thought. “I liked… I liked you both when we were younger. I liked Ally because she always looked after me and- and I got attached, and after that I liked you. When you stopped being a brat.”

“I was _not_ a brat,” Dinah defends herself, “you’re the brat.”

“Shut up,” Lauren says, sending Dinah a small smile, “I’m not going to tell you the story anymore.”

“No, I’ll be nice,” Dinah promises, “tell me. Expose yourself, Lauser.”

“Well, you were the longest crush, because you liked _The Lion King_ like me,” Lauren explains, “I think that was my main reason. But when you started being nice to me, you always protected me, and- and you let me borrow your Simba.”

“So you liked me…” Dinah pauses, “Because of your _Lion King_ obsession?”

Lauren hums. “Yes.”

“I mean…” Dinah shrugs, “I guess I’ll take it. Sure.”

“I think I needed to stop making friends with pretty girls, because I liked them all,” Lauren says. “I don’t do that anymore though, because I have Camz and she’s- she’s the only person I can see myself with now.”

“Yeah, you’d better say that, because even though you’re both my best friends,” Dinah starts, “I’m really close with Chancho. So if you hurt her, you’ve got me to answer to, okay?”

“Okay, but I won’t do that,” Lauren assures her. “Promise, DJ.”

After a few moments, Dinah pulls up outside of the library and Lauren unbuckles her seatbelt. “Shawn doesn’t drive, so come back here and I’ll take you to the next place.”

Lauren nods in confirmation, and gets out of the car, walking over to Shawn, who’s stood outside the public library. When she’s in earshot, she smiles and says, “Hi! Have you got the next clue?”

“Yeah,” He passes her the envelope, and before she can open it, he speaks again. “Happy birthday. Mind if I hug you, or…?”

“No, that’s okay,” Lauren says, and pulls him in for a hug. She opens up the next clue, and when she reads it, she smiles. “I know this one.”

_Since you’re an amazing matchmaker, your next location is the place where two of your close friends met and eventually found love._

_(Hint: Wednesday.)_

_Love, Camila._

“I know she means the community centre where I have my art class on a Wednesday night,” Lauren says, “and I _bet_ it’s going to be Lucy and Keana, because Ally said it’s two people for the next one.”

“Damn, guess I didn’t need to help,” Shawn laughs. “Mila made a group chat and texted us all the entire schedule. Pretty sure it’s the first time she’s ever been organised.”

Lauren laughs. “Yes, she’s very messy. But it’s okay, because I’m the opposite, and I can make her less messy.”

“You guys are going to NYU in the fall, right?” Shawn asks, and Lauren nods. “Good, it’ll be nice to have some friends in the city. I got into Juilliard to study music.”

Lauren beams. “That’s really cool! You can come over to our apartment to visit! And- and you might meet a cute boy there.”

He laughs. “I’ve actually been talking to this guy on Twitter. He’s going to be on the same course as me, but he’s international and coming over from Australia.”

“Oh, well, you can bring him over one night and we can all watch _The Lion King_ ,” Lauren decides, before Dinah honks the car horn and she laughs. “I think I should go now, because Dinah’s getting impatient. See you later.”

He smiles. “Later, Lauren.”

After a goodbye smile, she turns and heads back to Dinah’s car and buckles herself in. She doesn’t have to tell Dinah the location, because her friend has already started driving. Since it’s generally only a ten minute walk from the library to the community centre, it only takes a couple of minutes before they’re at their next destination. After saying goodbye to Dinah, Lauren is getting out of the car and running over to Lucy and Keana.

She can’t help but smile when she sees they’re holding hands. “Are you two girlfriends now, or are you still just dating friends?”

Keana laughs. “Don’t we get a _hello_? It’s-”

“Yes, we are,” Lucy answers, “it’s- it’s been exactly three days. I was scared, but I asked Keana to be my girlfriend and she said yes, and I’m just really happy, Lo. I don’t get mad when I watch TV shows with couples in them, because I- I’m part of a romantic relationship and this time… this time she won’t leave me for being different, because she promised.”

“Pinky swore, actually,” Keana adds, squeezing Lucy’s hand. “Anyway, we have your next clue here.”

This time, the envelope is blue, and Lauren smiles, because it’s her favourite shade, a nice, warm baby blue. Lauren reads over the clue, this time frowning in thought.

_You’re my Lolo LION._

_Even if you wear ugly hats sometimes._

_Love, Camila._

“Oh,” Lauren says after a few moments. “This one isn’t as easy as the others.”

“I know it,” Lucy says, “it’s the-”

“Luc,” Keana cuts over her, “we’ll give Lauren a few minutes to work it out. If she doesn’t get it, then we can tell her.”

“I still don’t get why she’s making fun of my hat,” Lauren huffs, “ever since I wore it to the zoo that one time- _wait!_ Does she mean the zoo? Because lion is capitalised… and I love lions a lot. And that’s when she made fun of it.”

Lucy smiles. “You got it!”

“We thought it’d take you longer,” Keana says, “this one isn’t as obvious as the others.”

“Well, let’s go to the zoo!” Lauren smiles. “Is the next person going to be waiting outside, or inside by the lions? Because I’d like to see the lions on my birthday, and I always have my membership card so I can get in for free.”

“I’ll text her and find out,” Lucy answers, before she pushes past Lauren and shouts, “I get shotgun!”

Lauren pouts and chases after her. “But it’s my birthday, I make the rules.”

“Not the rules of shotgun, though,” Lucy says, “You don’t get to change those.”

As Keana unlocks the car, Lauren huffs and clambers into the backseat. She really hopes that whoever is next is in the zoo, because she’d like to look at the lions for a little while, because lions always look so peaceful, since they sleep for most of the day.

“You’re on your last clue, Lo,” Keana points out as they set off, “you’ll get to see Camila soon and find out what your present is.”

Lauren frowns. “I forgot about the present. I thought I was just finding her.”

“Nope, and we all know what it is,” Lucy grins at her. “Also, the- um, the person texted back and says they’re by the lions, so you’ll get to see them.”

Lauren beams, because that makes her day ten times better. “I won’t take long, though. I miss Camila and I still haven’t got my birthday kiss yet.”

Lucy lets Lauren have the aux cord, and the green eyed girl puts her stim playlist on and relaxes in the back seat, humming along to the calming music. One time she nearly added _The Lion King_ ’s soundtrack to her stim playlist, but she didn’t want to ruin the calm vibe, so she put it in her favourites instead.

The ride to the zoo isn’t too long – only twenty minutes – so she gets a decent about of music listened to, and talks to Lucy about their upcoming projects in art class. When they pull up outside, Lauren pulls out her annual pass and after saying goodbye to her friends, walks through the entrance and heads straight to the lions.

When she arrives at the enclosure, she smiles at the lion cubs running around, and really wishes she could have a pet lion. She’s settling for Bengal kittens instead, because their fur is similar to a leopard’s, and she really loves big cats.

“Hey, Lo.”

Lauren blinks in surprise and remembers the whole reason she’s here. She turns around and smiles when she sees Alexa. “Lex! Hi, do you have my clue or are you just here for fun?”

“I have your clue,” Alexa holds it out, “you’re a lot sooner than I expected. I’ve been keeping an eye on the group chat that your girlfriend set up all day, she didn’t think you’d be here for another hour.”

Lauren just smiles. “I’m smart, and her clues were easy.”

Alexa laughs as Lauren reads over her final clue, and decides that this one is the most confusing, because the answer can’t _possibly_ be what she thinks it is.

_You’ve made it to the final location!!! Next stop – your amazing girlfriend. ;)_

_Your final clue – I’m at the happiest place in the world. It means a lot to us, because we were the most intimate we’ve ever been._

_305_

_See you soon! Love, Camila._

“She _can’t_ mean what I think she means,” Lauren says, “because- because it’s- it’s _three hours_ away, and- and we have dinner at six thirty and- and she would’ve said-”

“Don’t worry,” Alexa is quick to assure her. “It’s in Miami. But it’s related to the thing she’s talking about.”

Lauren frowns in thought, and doesn’t even notice when Alexa takes her hand and starts leading her away from the lion enclosure. “Disney related in Miami?”

“Yeah,” Alexa nods, “Obviously, the actual Disneyworld isn’t here, but what else is?”

“Well, we have Disney stores,” Lauren says, “is that what she means? The Disney Store?”

“Bingo,” Alexa smiles at her and pulls her towards her car. “Come on. One last stop and you’ll get your present. Which is pretty amazing, honestly.”

“Don’t tell me, even if I ask,” Lauren says, buckling herself into the car, “because- because I’m excited to find out and I want to be able to give her my full reaction. Especially after all of this.”

Alexa puts the car in drive. “I won’t. You can use the aux cord, by the way. We’ve got like, twenty minutes plus traffic.”

Lauren pouts. “I hate traffic. I want- I want my Camzi.”

“You’ll see her in less than half an hour, Lo,” Alexa promises, “She’s already there, too.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods. “I’m not even excited for my present, I’m just excited to see her. Is that weird?”

“It’s cute,” Alexa tells her with a smile. “You two are adorable. I’m so glad you’re happy, Lauren.”

“Yes.” Lauren smiles. “And I hope- I hope you find a boy that makes you really happy, too. I love seeing my friends happy and in love. Like Keana and Lucy and Dinah and Normani. And maybe Ally and that Tori girl, but I don’t know if they’re dating or just best friends.”

Lauren fills Alexa in on all of her friend’s love lives; she secretly quite likes to gossip, but not in a bad way. Just in an ‘informative’ way. She says positive things about people behind their backs, not negative things. Before she even realises, they’re pulling up outside the Disney store, and Lauren unbuckles her seatbelt.

She pulls Alexa in for a goodbye hug, and gets out of the car, looking for Camila outside, but not spotting her. She frowns, but goes in the store and starts looking around, smiling when she spots a shelf full of _Lion King_ plushies.

Lauren looks through the shelf, trying to spot one she doesn’t have yet, and notices a few Kion plushies – she’d watched the entirety of _The Lion Guard_ twice already – and goes to pick it up, but a voice makes her freeze.

“I’ve already bought that for you.”

Lauren turns on her heel and beams when she sees Camila, pouncing on her and dotting kisses around her face. “Camz!”

“Hey, Laur,” Camila sends her an innocent smile, “so… what have you been doing all day?”

Lauren smiles. “Your scavenger hunt! But I found you, and now I get a Kion plushie as my present and- and kisses.”

“Actually, that’s not your present, I bought that because I figured you’d want it anyway.” Camila says, and takes Lauren’s hand, leading her out of the store, “You have to have your full collection, after all. Your present is in here.”

Lauren takes the eighth and final envelope and opens it up. There’s two things in there – a note and a card. She picks the note up first, waiting to read it as they get in Camila’s car.

_Congratulations! You’re finally at the end of the scavenger hunt, but first, I’m going to tell you a story._

_There’s this one girl who loves you so much that sometimes she can’t comprehend it. It’s like the whole world stops for her, and she’s like ‘wow, I really fucking love my girlfriend’. And she’ll be starting her life together with you properly in a few months, moving into an apartment and falling even deeper into the little rabbit hole called love and into wonderland. That girl is me, if you didn’t get the obvious. And I genuinely can’t imagine myself with anyone else, even if it means I have to watch_ The Lion King _three times a day and give you tummy rubs, because that’s turning into my favourite thing in the world._

_I love you, all of your special interests, all of your stims and every single part of your beautiful mind, and I’m so, so grateful for the privilege of growing old with you._

Lauren blushes at the note, and decides out loud, “I’m keeping this forever.”

“Open your card,” Camila says, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “That’s where your present is.”

Lauren pulls the card out, smiling at it, and opens it up. Two identical slips of paper fall out onto her lap, and for a second, she thinks it’s money, but upon closer examination, she realises they’re tickets.

Tickets to the Broadway version of _The Lion King_.

“I- I- you’re-” Lauren stares down at them with wide eyes, “but how- how did you afford this? I can’t- I can’t-”

“I had a bit of cash left over from what I was _going_ to spend on a new guitar, but you covered that for me on my birthday last year,” Camila says, “but honestly? My mom is like, an expert at finding things at discounted prices. That’s her title – Sinu Cabello: Bargain Hunter. Moms are great at that stuff.”

Lauren pulls Camila in for a kiss, cupping her girlfriend’s face, fully aware that she’s kind of crying, and she doesn’t want Camila to think she’s weird, so she pulls away and wipes at her eyes. “I- I love you so much, Camz.”

“I know you do, I love you the same.” Camila beams at her, “and don’t cry, Lolo. Even if they’re happy tears.”

“How will we get there?” Lauren realises, “Broadway is in New York, and we’d have to get a plane-”

“Lauren,” Camila interrupts her, “look at the dates.”

Lauren takes a second look at the tickets and her eyes widen in realisation. The tickets are dated for October 22nd. Not only will they be in New York for college, but it’s also their two year anniversary. “That’s- that’s our anniversary, too.”

“I know,” Camila replies, “Two years is something that needs to be celebrated extravagantly, and what better way to do that than watch a Broadway show?”

Lauren smiles to herself. “Thank you. For everything you do for me.”

Camila pulls her in for another kiss. “I love you, Laur.”

“Yes,” Lauren mumbles against Camila’s lips, “I love you too.”


	71. Chapter 71

Lauren wakes up to Camila’s arms wrapped around her waist and her head on the pillow. She’s a little surprised that her movement didn’t wake Camila, but she shrugs and plays with the fur on Nala’s tail, kissing the top of her stuffed lion’s head, before she stretches and lays back down next to Camila.

She stares at her sleeping girlfriend with a smile. She likes seeing Camila when she’s asleep, because she always looks really relaxed and warm. Lauren likes seeing her girlfriend unworried, because she wants Camila to be perpetually calm and happy, and when she’s sleeping, she kind of is.

Camila shifts in her sleep, and Lauren smiles when her girlfriend cuddles up to her. She puts an arm around Camila and studies her girlfriend’s face, wondering what she’s dreaming about. She thinks that dreams are really interesting, because they’re kind of like your subconscious projecting itself into the forefront of your mind, and she likes knowing what other people dream about. Because she gets to see a bit of their subconscious.

Lauren plays with Camila’s messy hair and kisses the top of her girlfriend’s head, snuggling back down. It’s not that early – it’s half past nine, and she can hear someone downstairs, so she knows it’d be okay if she wanted to get up for some Cheerios, but she’s quite comfortable and she wants to cuddle with her girlfriend for a little while longer.

That’ll be a nice start to the day.

Camila groans in her sleep, and Lauren starts rubbing her tummy, because that always makes her calm, so maybe it’ll work for Camila, too. The younger girl’s eyes flutter open, and Lauren blinks down at her for a second, before Camila sends her a teasing grin. “Are you giving me tummy rubs?”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums in reply, “they’re nice, aren’t they?”

“Yeah,” Camila cuddles up to her, “they are. I see why you like them so much. Anyway, what do you want to do today?”

Lauren hums to herself. “I don’t particularly want to do much. I’d rather just have a nice day in with my favourite girl.”

Camila blushes. “You’re too sweet.”

“I wasn’t talking about you, I was talking about Nala,” Lauren cuddles her stuffed lion to her chest, before she laughs at her own joke and explains. “I was making a joke. I was talking about you, after all. But I thought it’d be funny to say Nala instead.”

Camila snorts with laughter. “Nice one, Lolo.”

“You think it’s funny?” Lauren asks, and when Camila nods, she beams. “Good. I’m glad, because not a lot of people think I’m funny when I try to be. They don’t really get my jokes, I don’t think.”

“Nope, it was a great joke,” Camila assures her, squeezing her hand. “What time is it?”

“Nine thirty,” Lauren answers. “Would you like to sleep some more? Or… or get up and have Cheerios with no milk?”

“It’s up to you, Laur,” Camila smiles, “I don’t mind.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods and looks down at her feet. “Um… I want to let you sleep more.”

Camila cuddles up to her, but doesn’t close her eyes. “If you want to get up, we can. It’s okay.”

“It’s early,” Lauren answers, “I’d like to cuddle with you. And it’s okay if you sleep when that’s happening.”

“You know what? I changed my mind,” Camila decides, “ _I_ make the rules now.”

“Oh,” Lauren frowns to herself. “You make the rules? Okay.”

“Yeah,” Camila beams at her, and pulls Lauren closer. Since Lauren sleeps naked, she doesn’t have to roll her shirt up, and starts gently rubbing her tummy. “Since I make the rules, you get tummy rubs and cuddles. Okay?”

“Um… yes,” Lauren mumbles. “I like when you do that.”

“It makes you all subdued and adorable,” Camila comments as Lauren closes her eyes and moves as close as she can. “Like that.”

Lauren decides she really loves Camila’s scent. Not her perfume, but her natural scent, because she smells comforting, kind of like her special blue blanket, but not in the same way. Camila smells like warm summer nights, and Lauren finds it a little hard to comprehend _how_ , but she loves it anyway.

“Laur?” Camila cuts into her thoughts with a laugh. “Are you listening to me?”

“Oh, um… I’m sorry,” Lauren opens her eyes and glances over at Camila for a moment. “I- I didn’t mean to, I just- just tuned out and- and I was thinking about things and I didn’t mean to be rude-”

“Lauren,” Camila cuts over her with a smile. “It’s okay. I don’t think you’re being rude, baby. You tune out sometimes and you can’t help it. It’s fine. Besides, you get a few more points because you look adorable when you’re deep in thought.”

“But- um, back before we were dating, you told me that you have to listen when people are speaking,” Lauren replies, “that it upsets you when- when they don’t. When I tune out.”

“No, Laur,” Camila shakes her head, “I said that when I didn’t understand things. When I thought that if I explained the things allistic people did, maybe you’d… maybe you’d be less autistic. Maybe I’d fix you. Which, to me now, sounds like the dumbest thing in the world, because I know that you don’t need to be fixed. You’re perfect the way you are. I love you how you are, and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Lauren hums in thought. “You wanted to fix me?”

“When I first met you, I thought… it’s like, if you learned how allistic people do things, maybe you’d be _cured_ , in a way.” Camila admits, and Lauren giggles when she tickles just the right spot on her tummy. “Anyway, I know it’s like, the dumbest thing in the world now, Lo. Because like I said, you don’t need curing or fixing. I was the one who needed fixing. I needed to be taught how… how to be understanding when it came to you. How to be accepting and a good friend. And when you asked me out, a good girlfriend.”

“You’re a very good girlfriend,” Lauren comments as Camila’s words sink in. “You take me to Disney and give me tummy rubs and let me see the lions when I want. And you watch _The Lion King_ with me all the time and- and you’re okay with me spending time under my blue blanket and when I go nonverbal and you’re really patient and I just love you a lot.”

“I love you a lot, too,” Camila promises her, kissing the top of her head. “You’re my favourite person. And since you’re my favourite person and all, I think you should pay me back for my favouritism and help me babysit Sofi today.”

“Okay,” Lauren answers, “I like looking after Sofi.”

“Good.” Camila looks at her with a smile, “because when we’re married, I’ll be shirking all of my babysitting duties and making you do it.

“Yes,” Lauren confirms, “because I am planning on proposing when I have the money to throw a wedding you deserve. I want it to be perfect for you.”

“Lolo, I’ll be marrying _you_. That’s like, the best wedding possible,” Camila points out, “as long as it’s with you, we could literally get married behind a Taco Bell or something.”

“Can we stay in today? I don’t like going outside.” Lauren comments. “I can be under my blanket. I don’t think I want to put clothes on today.”

“Well, I mean, it _was_ your birthday last week,” Camila replies, “I think the birthday suit is fitting.”

Lauren laughs. “That was funny. You’re good at jokes, Camz.”

“Thank you, thank you,” Camila flips her hair and laughs, “I’m going to start my career as a world class comedian. My specialty will be puns.”

Lauren smiles at her. “I will go to every one of your shows and support you.”

“Cutie,” Camila smiles and squeezes Lauren’s hand. “We should go and get some breakfast. Put your Simba onesie on or something.”

Lauren pouts. “But I don’t want to put clothes on.”

“So you’re just going to prance around naked downstairs?” Camila laughs, and Lauren nods in reply. “In front of my parents and Sofi?”

“Oh,” Lauren realises that they’re not home alone. “Okay. I’ll put my Simba onesie on.”

Lauren shuffles out of bed, aware of Camila staring at her, and picks up her Simba onesie from where she’d left it on Camila’s desk chair last night. She grabs some fresh underwear out of her overnight bag and pulls them on, before zipping up her onesie and pulling the hood up. It has ears, and she thinks it’s really cute.

“I love your body,” Camila comments, and Lauren frowns to herself, “you’re so thick.”

“Thick?” Lauren frowns. “My dad told me that ‘thick’ can mean stupid, and I’m very smart, I graduated with a 5.0 GPA and I was valedictorian, so I’m not thick.”

“It’s like… you’re not fat or skinny. You’re thick.” Camila explains, and Lauren moves in front of the mirror and looks over herself. “Like, you’re curvy.”

“Oh, okay then,” Lauren smooths out her onesie and looks over at Camila. “I am thick. I think you’re quite skinny, because your waist is small, but then your ass is really big. Your ass is _thick_.”

Camila laughs and gets up from the bed. Lauren feels her girlfriend’s hand on the small of her back, and Camila nods towards the door. “Come on. You need your Cheerios.”

“Mhm, no milk,” Lauren replies as Camila leads her out of the room. “I like to drink milk, but I don’t like it on my Cheerios. I like it on other cereals, like Lucky Charms.”

Camila opens her mouth to respond, but she’s cut off by Sofi, “Lamp! I l-like your onesie.”

“Oh, thank you,” Lauren smiles to herself, “it has ears, it’s cute.”

“I- I want to g-go see _Power Rangers_ today,” Sofi explains, looking up at Camila for permission. “Can w-we?”

Camila frowns. “Since when did you like _Power Rangers?”_

“I f-found out that one of them is l-like Lamp,” Sofi answers, “they’re- what’s it c-called again? Au- something. But I w-want to go see it.”

“You mean autistic?” Lauren asks, rocking on her heels. “I wasn’t aware of that. I don’t care much for _Power Rangers_ , but I will go see it if there is autistic representation.”

“Alright then,” Camila smiles, “ _Power Rangers_ it is. I’ll check the times and we can go around lunch.”

Lauren smiles. “I am glad that a major movie has autistic representation. I really hope they do it correctly, because it upsets me when it’s done wrong and they make us look like robots. Because lots of autistic people are very emotional, like me.”

Camila pulls her in for a kiss. “You should write something one day. Do the autistic community justice.”

“Yes, I think I might.” Lauren says. “I think it’d be interesting, but I don’t want to write from my own perspective. I think I’d rather write about someone else and make a character.”

“I think hearing about your life would be interesting,” Camila answers, “But whatever you want to write about is good. I’ll read it no matter what.”

Lauren nods. “I would like that. Let’s- um, let’s go and get breakfast, because I’m hungry.”

“Okay,” Camila smiles, and lets Lauren pull her downstairs and into the kitchen. “Let’s get you your Cheerios.”

-

“That- they actually,” Lauren struggles to gather her thoughts after the movie. “I- I- they did it right! I’ve never- I don’t think I’ve ever seen it done respectfully before. And… and I just… I really loved seeing a representation of myself on the screen.”

Camila smiles. “Thank Sofi for recommending it, or neither of us would’ve seen it.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods her head and lets Camila lead her out of the movie theatre, Sofi holding onto her hand. “Thank you, Sofi. I appreciate- um, being able to see myself on a screen. It would’ve been better if it was a female character, because some people think only boys have autism, but… but other than that, I enjoyed it very much.”

“It’s o-okay, Lamp,” Sofi answers, “My f-friend at school told me and I w-wanted you to see it.”

“Okay, so,” Camila says as they arrive at the car, “I vote we go swimming. On Saturdays they have a huge inflatable obstacle course at the indoor pool. And I’m going to kick Sofi’s ass at it.”

Sofi scowls at her, “No, you w-won’t! I’m good at o-obstacle courses.”

“Not as good as _me_ ,” Camila teases her, before turning around to Lauren and noticing her girlfriend’s frown. “Laur? You okay?”

“I- I’m not good at swimming,” Lauren mumbles, “and- and it’ll be loud. I don’t want to go. Besides, if we wanted to go swimming, we could just go to my house, because… because I have a pool.”

“I w-want to do the obstacle course!” Sofi shouts from the back of the car. Lauren’s hands shoot up to cover her ears, because she doesn’t like loud. “Does y-your house have that?”

“Um, no,” Lauren murmurs, “but- but it has a pool, and… and my mom can make cookies. Not as good as I can, but…”

“We can drop you off at home on the way there,” Camila offers, “but Sofi isn’t going to give up until we go. She’s persistent when she wants something.”

“Oh,” Lauren’s face falls and she looks down at her feet. “I’m- um, okay, you can… drop me off at home.”

“If you want to come with us, then do,” Camila says, “it won’t be anywhere near as busy Disney was. Plus, you could have fun.”

“I- um,” Lauren hums in thought. “Okay. Yes. I’ll- I’ll try. For you.”

“No, no, Laur,” Camila shakes her head, “do it because you want to. Not because I asked. I can take you home if you don’t want to go.”

“I- I don’t want to go home yet,” Lauren murmurs, “I want to spend time with you.”

“Okay. We’ll go to the pool, but if it really is too loud for you, we’ll go home.” Camila promises her. “We’ve got to stop off at my place to grab swimming costumes. You can borrow one of mine.”

“No, I would like to wear my bikini. My white and black one.” Lauren says. “Because even though I don’t have a flat tummy, I like the way I look in it.”

“Ugh, I hate the idea that you have to have a flat tummy to be pretty,” Camila answers, “like, even though I do, I shouldn’t. I eat too much and have a really high metabolism, because it’s not like I exercise. I love your body type.”

“Mhm, I do work out though,” Lauren announces, “I go for runs because it makes me feel free, and I take Dash for walkies. But it’s mostly just for fun.”

“My idea of fun is sitting on the couch watching Netflix,” Camila counters. “Sofi likes that, too.”

“I like p-playing outside,” Sofi argues, “but I do like to w-watch my favourite shows b-before school.”

Camila rolls her eyes and launches into a massive rant about how people who actually _enjoy_ exercise are crazy, and how she’s clearly the only sane one in the car. Lauren pouts at her and argues that Camila is the weird one, and how Lauren likes setting a good example for people.

When Camila kicks her out of the car to run in and get her swimsuit, she swears she hears Lauren mumble, “ _You’re_ just jealous I’m mature.”

When they finally arrive at the pool and get changed, Camila realises that it _is_ pretty busy, and loud because of screaming kids, but she tries to distract Lauren by throwing Sofi in the pool and laughing when her little sister scowls at her from the water, shouting, “Kaki! You suck!”

Then, Camila turns to Lauren with an evil grin. “You’re next.”

“No, I’m not, because I can’t swim very well,” Lauren says, “and- and I’d rather sit on a chair and watch. Maybe… um, listen to music.”

“Don’t you want to see if you can beat me at the obstacle course?” Camila asks, slipping into the pool after her sister and cringing when Sofi splashes her in revenge. “ _Sofi_. I’m going to get you back for that.”

“Um… I don’t- I don’t- it’s quite loud, but we’ve already paid and I’m not…” Lauren hums to herself. “I don’t want to waste your money, you know?”

“We can go,” Camila promises, “if you’re sure.”

“I’ll just… um, sit,” Lauren looks around for a chair, but every one she sees is occupied. “Maybe, uh, on the edge of the pool.”

Camila smiles as Lauren sits down on the edge, her feet dipping into the water. She reaches up and squeezes her girlfriend’s hand. “I’ll stay with you.”

“No, um,” Lauren looks over at the giant inflatable obstacle course that’s taking up the majority of the pool. “You go on your obstacle course. It might be funny to watch you fall off.”

Camila scoffs, “I’m _not_ going to fall off. Clearly I’m the most coordinated person in the world who _never_ falls over.”

Lauren hums. “I think you’re being sarcastic.”

“I am,” Camila confirms. “No wonder you’re so smart. You’re learning when I’m being a sarcastic asshole.”

“Don’t call yourself an asshole, you’re very nice,” Lauren says, cringing a little when a teenage boy near them splashes his friend and some of the water hits her. “Go on the obstacle course with Sofi. I’ll be here.”

“Alright,” Camila flashes her a smile, and Lauren feels her stomach flutter and her cheeks heat up. “Later, Lo.”

Lauren watches her girlfriend and Sofi swim away from her, and she frowns a little when she realises she’ll be quite bored until it’s Camila and Sofi’s turn on the obstacle course, and there’s a sizeable line. She passes the time by kicking her legs back and forth under the water, liking the feel of the ripples around her legs, but careful not to splash anyone.

After a little while of sitting by herself, someone sits down next to her. Instinctively, Lauren shuffles away, because she doesn’t particularly like people she doesn’t know, even if she’s more confident now.

“Uh, hey.”

Lauren frowns at the unfamiliar voice, and looks up to see a boy she doesn’t know. “Hi?”

“You looked lonely, so I figured I’d come over to talk to you.” The boy says, and Lauren sees him looking her over out of the corner of her eye. “Don’t you want to swim?”

Lauren huffs. “I’m not a very good swimmer.”

He laughs. “Why did you come to a swimming pool then?”

“My girlfriend and her sister wanted to come.” Lauren shrugs. “And I didn’t want to go home and be bored, so I decided to come here and be bored instead. Because at least I get to see Camila in a bikini.”

The boy frowns. “Wait, you mean like, you’re _dating_ this girl?”

“Yes,” Lauren answers, frowning to herself. What else would _girlfriend_ mean? “We’ve been dating for two years in October. I love her very much.”

“Oh,” the boy stands up, and Lauren smiles, because if he’s leaving, she’s happy. She’s not very good at _small talk_ with strangers. “Okay, didn’t realise you were taken.”

Before she can say anything, the boy walks away, and Lauren shrugs the encounter off and goes back to kicking under the water. After a few seconds, Camila stops in front of her. “Who was that?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Lauren shrugs. “Some boy. Have you gone on the obstacle course yet?”

“No, Sofi’s saving our spot in line.” Camila says. “He wasn’t bothering you, was he?”

“Not really. I think he was hitting on me, but I mentioned you, so… he left,” Lauren explains. “Anyway, go back to the obstacle course, I want to see you fall off.”

Camila laughs. “You mean you want to see me complete it on my first try.”

Before Lauren can retort, Camila turns around and swims away, and not long after she leaves, it’s her and Sofi’s turn. Lauren watches intently as Sofi gets past all of the obstacles quickly, and completes the course in less than a minute, jumping off at the end with a big smile and swimming back over to Lauren, bursting into laughter when she realises that Camila is still on the first obstacle, clinging on for dear life.

“Hah, I b-beat her,” Sofi grins, “I bet she’ll f-fall.”

“It’s _Camila_. Of course she’ll fall,” Lauren answers, smiling proudly when her girlfriend gets past the first thing. The next obstacle requires diving through a gap, but going far enough that you don’t just end up in the water. Lauren can’t help but laugh when Camila dives through, but goes diagonally, and ends up in the water with a big splash. “See?”

Sofi laughs as a pouty Camila swims back over to them with a scowl. “You s-suck, Kaki.”

“Um, no, you suck,” Camila counters, looking up at Lauren. “I did okay, right, babe?”

“Um…” Lauren rubs her hand up and down her thigh. “Do you want me to lie?”

“No, I want you to tell the truth and say how great I was,” Camila answers, “because who needs to beat a stupid obstacle course anyway. I’m not going to be an- an _obstacle_ _person_ when I grow up.”

“But you didn’t do very well,” Lauren frowns at her, “you- um, you fell on the second obstacle, and look, that little girl is on the last bit.”

“They have the advantage of being smaller,” Camila pouts, “It’s not my fault I’m taller than them. It’s discrimination. Actually, it’s- it’s biphobia, because I’m bi and inconvenienced by this.”

Lauren giggles. “I know what’ll make you feel better.”

Camila looks up. “What?”

“Triple scoop strawberry cones!” Lauren announces with a smile. “Two and a half for me and half for you.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “You need to chill the fuck out with your ice cream consumption. Sorry, Sofi, don’t repeat that.”

Sofi rolls her eyes. “Mami says that c-cussing means you’re l-less smart than people w-who d-don’t cuss.”

“That’s not true, Sinu is wrong,” Lauren answers immediately, “because I curse all the time, and I have- um, no, I _graduated_ with a 5.0 GPA and I was valedictorian.”

Camila laughs. “There’s the catchphrase.”

“It’s not a catchphrase!” Lauren pouts. “You’re just jealous that I’m smarter than you.”

Camila clambers out of the pool and gives Lauren a rather watery hug. “Yeah. You’re the superior scholar. You’re the brains and I’m the… well, I’m not really the brawn, either. _Oh my god,_ I don’t have a place in this world! What will I do?”

Lauren rolls her eyes and helps Sofi out of the pool. “You’re being dramatic. But I think you’re also the brains, because you’re smart, just not like me. But I want ice cream, can we leave now?”

Camila smiles and kisses her, eliciting an, “ _Ew, gross, old p-people kissing,”_ from Sofi. “Fine. I _guess_ you can fuel your addiction for another day.”

Lauren pulls Camila and Sofi towards the changing rooms with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of important PSA for anyone who cares - for the past 25 years my Mum has helped run a local charity walk and as it's the 40 year anniversary of the walk, my mum is doing the 22 mile walk (I'm doing the eight mile walk on the 31st with my niece, but the sponsor stuff for that isn't online) with two other committee members. The official date of the walk is on 31st of April, but my mum's walk is happening this Saturday because on the actual day of the walk, my mum and the other people she's walking with need to be around to run everything. The walk raises funds for local disabled and disadvantaged children and all funds raised go directly to the beneficiaries, including local swimming and riding for the disabled, and charities that support autistic kids like Lolo lion!!! If you have any spare cash, you can donate here - https://mydonate.bt.com/events/herecomethegirls/437114 - since ao3 hates links you'll have to copy and paste. They've already reached their goal of £300, but the more money they raise, the more help local autistic kids, blind/deaf kids etc. get. :)
> 
> Anyway if you even bothered to read all of that, I appreciate you. :) Literally nine more chapters to go until the end of this. Until next time. :)


	72. Chapter 72

Lauren is halfway through her morning bowl of Cheerios when she looks up to see her girlfriend walking into the kitchen. She’s surprised – Camila hadn’t slept over last night, so it’s not like she’s _supposed_ to be there.

After a few moments, Lauren says. “Are you real or am I imagining you?”

Camila snorts. “Are you high?”

“No, it’s only eleven,” Lauren answers, “but you weren’t here last night and I didn’t let you in, _and_ I’m home alone.”

“The door was unlocked,” Camila answers, “I figured you got my text and left it open for me.”

“My mom must’ve left it unlocked when she left, because she knew I was up.” Lauren says, tapping out a pattern on her leg. “She went grocery shopping. I would’ve gone too, but I’d just woken up and I didn’t want to wear proper clothes, just my Simba onesie.”

“Oh, well, since you haven’t seen my text,” Camila sits down next to Lauren and steals a Cheerio out of her bowl. “We’re going out today.”

Lauren whines. “But I don’t want to.”

“Too bad.” Camila says. “I’ve already bought the tickets, so we’re going.”

“Oh,” Lauren murmurs, “can we use them another day?”

“They’re for today,” Camila tells her, “if you really don’t want to go, we don’t have to.”

“No, you paid for the tickets,” Lauren says, standing up. “I would like to accompany you to… where are we going?”

“That’s a surprise,” Camila answers, and Lauren huffs, because she doesn’t like surprises. Catching onto Lauren’s mood, Camila grins and says, “the petting zoo.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Okay. I will let you take me there. I need to get dressed, though.”

“Okay,” Camila smiles, “I’ll wait here.”

“You can come with me!” Lauren says, “you can pick out my outfit. But I might need to shower, because my hair is weird right now, even though I showered yesterday. I think maybe I didn’t wash it properly.”

“Tie it back,” Camila suggests, and before Lauren can say anything, Camila is taking off the hair tie on her wrist and tying Lauren’s hair into a ponytail. “See? Now you can’t even tell.”

Lauren smiles. “You’re magic.”

Camila snorts. “I _wish_. But then again, even if I was magic and I went to Hogwarts, you _know_ I’d set everything on fire by accident.”

“Yes, you probably would cause a lot of disasters,” Lauren answers, humming to herself, “I think I’d be good at magic, because I’m smart, and once people explain things thoroughly, it is quite easy to understand. So long as the explanation is good. That’s why I graduated with a 5.0 GPA and was valedictorian.”

Camila just smiles. “Yeah. Anyway, what do you want to-”

“ _Camz_ ,” Lauren whines when she spots herself in the mirror. “My hair still looks weird. On the top. I need to go in the shower.”

“Put a hat on,” Camila suggests, and before Lauren can answers, “ _not_ the ugly one, or you’re not invited out anymore. I’ll take Dinah.”

“It’s _not_ ugly,” Lauren argues, “but- but… I’ll wear something else so you don’t complain. Ally doesn’t call my hat ugly. Maybe you should give- give me the tickets and I’ll go with her.”

“Ally’s too nice to insult your hat,” Camila says, “I’m just telling you how it is, Laur. Can’t let you think you’re a fashion queen when you wear stuff like that.”

“I don’t think I’m a fashion queen,” Lauren tells her as Camila pulls her upstairs. “I just… I wear what I like, and most of the time that’s sweaters. You never make fun of my sweaters.”

“Your sweaters are cute,” Camila answers with a shrug, “I like seeing you in your oversized sweaters because it makes you look ten times cuddlier. And you’re already super cuddly with your fluffy hair and how soft you are.”

Lauren scrunches up her nose as Camila ruffles her hair. “You think my hair is fluffy?”

“Yeah, it’s all choppy and messy,” Camila says, “didn’t you tell me you used to have really long hair at one point?”

“Mhm, but I cut it. Before I met you.” Lauren says. “In the summer before junior year, because… I wanted to. I wasn’t going to but then when I got to the hairdresser’s I made an impulsive decision, and I was proud of myself for making it, and I liked it a lot, thankfully.”

“You haven’t really shown me any pictures of that,” Camila adds as she searches through Lauren’s wardrobe for a sweater. “Like, I’ve seen baby pictures where you had that bowl cut. Made me laugh the first time.”

“It- it wasn’t a _bowl cut_. It was… it was just…” but what it was, Camila doesn’t find out, because Lauren cuts herself off and says, “well, you looked weird when you were a baby.”

“I know I did,” Camila says, winking at Lauren and flipping her hair. “I’m total glo up goals, right? And honestly, so are you, now you don’t have a bowl cut.”

Lauren pouts. “I was still a cute kid, you always say that when you saw pictures and looked at home movies with me.”

“Didn’t say you weren’t cute,” Camila answers, throwing a sweater and a baseball cap over at her girlfriend. “But now you’re all grown up and incredibly hot. Still cute, too.”

Lauren blushes as she unzips her Simba onesie. “Yes. I’m- I’m both of those things. Can- can we get ice cream on the way?”

Camila laughs. “Should’ve seen that question coming, but I’d rather get it after we go to the petting zoo.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods, pulling on the sweater, “I’ve been to a petting zoo before. My abuela took me and she made sure I got to pet all the animals, because- because I was frightened of the other kids and they were hogging all the animals.”

“Was that a pun?” Camila asks with a laugh. “ _Hogging_?”

“Unintentional,” Lauren answers as she tugs on her jeans. “But… yeah. Hopefully it won’t be full of selfish kids crowding the animals, because- because if I was an animal, I wouldn’t want to be crowded.”

“You don’t like being crowded anyway, Lo,” Camila points out, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “I feel bad for animals in zoos. I’d hate to be stared at all day.”

“I like zoos, because I get to see lions there,” Lauren says, “but I only like them if they look after their animals properly. I just… I just like seeing happy lions. I love lions.”

“Mhm,” Camila replies, “and _I_ like seeing my happy Lolo lion.”

“Yes,” Lauren answers, letting Camila lead her downstairs. “Do you think they’ll sell ice cream at the petting zoo?”

Camila snorts. “I told you we’d get ice cream after. Wouldn’t you rather get a triple scoop strawberry cone?”

“But I can have ice cream at the petting zoo, too,” Lauren says, “and see if it’s nice there. Because I’ve never had ice cream at a petting zoo before.”

Camila rolls her eyes, passing Lauren her usual scuffed Converse, “Babe, I’m going to have to give you an ultimatum here. Petting zoo ice cream, if they even have it, _or_ your triple scoop strawberry cone. Pick one.”

Lauren whines. “I want both.”

“Too bad,” Camila pokes her girlfriend in the upper arm. “Knowing you, you’ll want two strawberry cones _anyway_.”

“I- I won’t,” Lauren meekly defends herself, knowing full well that she probably will. At Camila’s pointed look, Lauren huffs and adds, “Okay, maybe I will, but there’s nothing _wrong_ with that. I like ice cream. I’ll- I’ll buy you one, too.”

“Thank you for the offer, Laur,” Camila squeezes her hand, making sure to pick up Lauren’s keys, which the older girl walks past as she heads out of the door. “But we’re going to go pet some cute animals and _then_ get ice cream. That’s the plan.”

At the word _plan_ , Lauren nods in agreement and doesn’t ask further, because plans are set and she doesn’t like diverting from them. “Okay then. What animals do you think they’ll have? Imagine if they had a lion cub I could cuddle! I want a pet lion.”

“You _have_ a lion cub to cuddle, Laur,” Camila reminds her, “Nala.”

“Oh, yeah,” Lauren laughs, “but I meant a real one.”

Camila just laughs. “You want to go and get Nala? You can bring her if you want.”

“No.” Lauren shakes her head. “She might get dirty, and I need her to sleep, so she can’t go in the laundry.”

“Okay then,” Camila smiles and starts the car up. “The petting zoo awaits.”

-

Camila realises that the petting zoo was kind of a bad idea.

Since it’s summer, there’s what seems like a full _army_ of children, and they’re all incredibly loud. It’s ten times louder than what Disney was like, and there are no animals left free – kids are crowding around them and shouting for their parents and friends over the _other_ loud kids.

When she looks over at Lauren, her girlfriend has her eyes screwed shut, and Camila squeezes her hand. “Lo? Are you feeling okay?”

“Yes, I will be fine,” Lauren mumbles, “I am keeping my eyes shut because it helps me filter out visual stimuli, so I am less likely to… to get upset.”

“Okay,” Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek, “but if you need to leave, just say the words and we can.”

Lauren frowns. “What words?”

“The words, _Camz, I need to leave_.” Camila tells her. “And we’ll go straight away. I promise.”

“Okay,” Lauren murmurs, “please don’t- um, touch me more than necessary. It- it’s loud, and it’s already a little bit… hard to concentrate. You can keep holding my hand, but…”

“Alright,” Camila makes sure that her grip on Lauren’s hand is firm but gentle. She wasn’t sure if she _could_ let go of Lauren’s hand, if her girlfriend is going to walk around the entire petting zoo with her eyes closed. She doesn’t want to lose Lauren. “So… what do you want to look at first?”

Lauren flinches when a little kid brushes past her. “Um… bunnies. Do they have bunnies?”

“They do,” Camila says, gently tugging Lauren in the right direction. “They have lambs as well. We can go and see the lambs after, if you’d like.”

“Yes,” Lauren murmurs. “I’d like to see the lambs.”

“Good,” Camila says, happy when they find a little black bunny that’s not being crowded by any kids, “Okay, lean down a little, Laur. There’s a bunny here.”

“Oh, what colour is it?” Lauren asks. “Does it look friendly?”

“It’s black, and it looks super friendly, babe,” Camila promises her, smiling when Lauren’s hand comes in contact with the rabbit’s fur and she gasps. “Is it soft?”

“Really soft,” Lauren murmurs, “this is a nice stim. I want a bunny.”

“One time, back in New York, we went to a petting zoo in like… fourth grade?” Camila thinks back. “Anyway, this kid in my class who was like, the _bad_ kid, literally tried to take one of the rabbits home. He probably would’ve gotten away with it, if he hadn’t been caught on the bus.”

Lauren hums. “Did he want to give it a loving home? Were the conditions at the petting zoo bad?”

“No, they looked after their animals,” Camila answers, kneeling down to pet the bunny herself, “but he didn’t care about either of those things, I don’t think. Probably just wanted a free bunny.”

“Oh,” Lauren hums, “maybe one day I’ll do that at the zoo and get a free lion. Because I want a pet lion when I’m older, I want to raise it from when it’s a cub, so it thinks I’m its mother and imprints on me.”

“I thought we already went over that,” Camila laughs, “we decided it’d be a bad idea.”

“No, you thought it would be, because it wouldn’t imprint on you,” Lauren points out, “I am thinking about doing a minor in animal studies when we go to college. Maybe- maybe I could be a big cat trainer. And look after them.”

“Well, I mean, you already know pretty much everything about them,” Camila points out, “but I thought your passion was art.”

“It is,” Lauren answers, “but it’s very hard to become a famous artist, as not many people appreciate real art anymore. Graphic design is an option, but I really want to be a famous artist and don’t want to settle. But at the same time, big cats are one of my lifelong special interests, and I would _love_ to look after lions. So maybe I could do a degree that would let me go into that when I’m older, and then work with lions until I become a famous artist.”

“That’s… actually a pretty good idea,” Camila replies, “do art on the side but be a really cool animal trainer. Until you inevitably become a famous artist.”

Lauren smiles, her eyes still screwed shut. “My mom thinks it’s a good idea, too. She says that zookeepers can make up to eighty thousand dollars a year. So I’d be happy and doing what I love, but also earning a decent pay doing it.”

“Like, a year ago, I’d be telling you not to listen to your mom and follow your heart,” Camila replies, “but your mom really seems to get you now. She’s a lot more understanding.”

“I know!” Lauren exclaims, petting the bunny happily, “I love my mom, and she loves me. And- and she says that whatever I decide to do, she will support me. Would you like me to be a zookeeper, or a graphic designer?”

“Lauren, it’s _your_ decision,” Camila points out, “whatever you want to be, I’ll be there, cheering you on. What do you want to do?”

“I want to- to…” Lauren frowns to herself, “I think I’d like to work with big cats. Because… a biology degree with a minor in animal studies can… it’s- people think it’s more credible than an art degree.”

“Lauren,” Camila murmurs, “do what you want to do. Not what other people think is best.”

“I think I’d like to do something that makes me happy,” Lauren says, “but art _and_ big cats make me happy. I want to look after lions, but I also want to paint beautiful things.”

Camila smiles, pulling Lauren up. “You can’t decide at once. I mean, if it was me, I’d probably just flip a coin or something.”

Lauren shrugs, and Camila pulls her towards the lambs that she’d seen earlier. “Where are you taking me?”

“To the lambs,” Camila says, “promise. After this, we can go and see… anything you want. Pick a generic petting zoo animal, and we’ll go see it.”

“Okay,” Lauren mumbles. “I want to see goats. Well, not _see_ them, because my eyes are closed, but maybe- _no!”_

Lauren cuts herself off when a few kids nearby let out a loud squeal, and Camila makes sure to squeeze her hand softly, tugging her towards the lambs. The lamb enclosure is a lot busier than the bunnies, but she traces circles in patterns of three on the back of Lauren’s hand in an effort to keep her calm.

“So…” Camila says, “there’s a little lamb over here. Reach down and pet it, Laur.”

Lauren hums, and does as Camila says, frowning when her hand touches the lamb’s wool. “I don’t know how I feel about the texture.”

Camila shrugs, looking down at the tiny lamb. “I like lambs. They’re adorable and they don’t know what they’re doing just yet. They’re content to run around in a field.”

Lauren mumbles something, and Camila doesn’t hear over the screaming kid across the room. “I- I- I think- I like- I l-like ‘ambs. They- they are _cute_.”

Noticing Lauren’s trouble speaking, Camila tries to lead them somewhere quieter, but _nowhere_ is quieter. The whole place is crowded with kids. “Do you need to leave?”

Lauren shakes her head, squeezing her eyes shut even tighter, as though that’ll help. “Want t-to play with animals.”

Camila doesn’t like her girlfriend’s answer, so she starts leading Lauren towards the exit, but the exit is a crowded gift shop. “Come on. We’re going.”

Lauren opens her mouth to protest, but a few kids push past them, and Lauren freezes in place. Camila feels the tension radiating from her girlfriend, and when Lauren doesn’t speak, she tries to comfort her.

“Laur?” Camila murmurs, “We’re going, okay? Just through the gift shop and-”

Lauren pulls her hand from Camila’s grip. “Shut _up._ ”

Knowing what’s about to happen, Camila tries to take Lauren’s hand and lead her elsewhere, but Lauren pulls away from her. “I know you don’t want me to talk, but I need you to trust me and take my hand so we can go somewhere quiet.”

“ _No_ ,” Lauren shouts, and a few people nearby turn to look at them. “Go- go _a-away_.”

Camila keeps her mouth shut, and slowly takes Lauren’s hand again, but Lauren pulls away and shoves her, running past her and disappearing off into the gift shop. Camila runs after her, hoping that Lauren had gone out of the exit, because she can get her to the car once she’s calmed down. But no, when Camila is dodging past the loud families in the gift shop, she spots Lauren, her head between her knees and her hands over her ears in the corner by some hoodies.

A family is crowding her, and Camila tries to get past them, but they’re oblivious to her as they bombard Lauren with questions like, “are you okay?” and “what’s wrong,” and “who are you here with?”

Eventually, Camila stops caring about politeness and says, “She’s here with _me_ , and can you stop crowding her?”

A woman, who looks to be around fifty, turns at looks at her with a scowl. “You could be more polite, you know.”

“My girlfriend is upset, I don’t care about being polite right now,” Camila says, shoving past the woman and kneeling down onto the floor next to her girlfriend. “Lauren, I’m here, okay? We’re going to get you out of here.”

Lauren whines, and Camila reaches out again, “I’m going to help you up. If you don’t want me to do that, shake your head.”

Lauren, hands still over her ears, shakes her head and groans.

“Okay,” Camila murmurs, “can you get up yourself?”

Lauren whimpers, but this time, doesn’t shake her head, and slowly stands up. Camila smiles at her, even though Lauren can’t see her, because her eyes are screwed shut.

“Follow me, Laur,” Camila tells her, “We’re going to go straight ahead, and when I tell you to take a left, we’ll be outside where it’s quieter.”

Lauren nods, and Camila starts walking, making sure to tell Lauren where to go as directly as she possibly can, but also being clear. She knows that when Lauren goes into sensory overload, it’s hard for her to differentiate sounds, and she has to repeat instructions a few times.

Once they exit the petting zoo, Camila tries her best to get Lauren to the car, but because it was so busy, they’re right at the end of the parking lot. After about a minute of walking, Camila’s heart breaking at her girlfriend’s cries, because Lauren is sobbing harder than Camila has ever seen her cry, and it hurts to know that she’s basically useless in this kind of situation.

She opens up the car door for Lauren, sliding her girlfriend’s phone from her pocket. When she gets in the driver’s side, she connects Lauren’s phone to the aux cord and goes to her girlfriend’s Spotify, shuffling her stim playlist and making sure to keep the volume on low.

“Let me know if it’s too loud for you, Lolo.” Camila tells her as she puts the phone down. “I’ll turn it down right away.”

Lauren doesn’t respond, but flings herself at Camila, and for a moment, the younger girl flinches back in case Lauren was trying to shove her again for talking. Lauren seems to notice, because she cries harder, this time into Camila’s shoulder, and the younger Latina reaches down and rubs her girlfriend’s tummy through her sweater.

It’s a while before Lauren stops crying, but she still doesn’t move from Camila’s arms, her fists clutching the fabric of the dress Camila is wearing. Camila keeps rubbing Lauren’s tummy, but uses her free hand to play with her girlfriend’s hair, and sings along – at low volume – to Lana Del Rey’s _American_.

When Lauren pulls away from her and stares out of the window, Camila doesn’t push her to talk. Instead, she reaches over and buckles Lauren’s seatbelt, since the older girl is completely ignoring it, and starts the car up.

She drives them down to the beach, and pulls up outside Lauren’s favourite ice cream parlour. Leaving her girlfriend in the car, her playlist still on through the car’s stereo, Camila runs inside and buys a triple scoop strawberry cone, and a regular vanilla one for her. Then, she gets back into the car, and hoping that it’ll cheer Lauren up, passes her the ice cream.

“A triple scoop strawberry ice cream for my beautiful girl,” Camila announces as she holds it out. Slowly, Lauren takes it, but doesn’t look at her. “If you eat it before I finish mine, I’ll buy you another.”

Lauren doesn’t. She takes a while, so long that the ice cream starts melting, but Camila waits for her to finish anyway. When Lauren is eating the last bit of cone, Camila gets out of the car again and buys her a second one, passing it to her before she starts the car again.

(This time, she brings a napkin, too.)

By the time they get back to Lauren’s house, the older girl has finished her second ice cream, but doesn’t look any happier. Camila sighs a little when she’s leading Lauren inside, because she _wishes_ Lauren would smile, or talk, or do _anything_ , but for the most part, her girlfriend remains unresponsive.

Camila takes Lauren upstairs, setting her down on her bed. She grabs Nala from under Lauren’s covers and puts her in her girlfriend’s lap, before adding, “I’m going to get your blue blanket from downstairs, okay? I’ll be right back.”

Lauren just nods, and Camila gives her a gentle kiss on the cheek before she leaves the room, grabbing Lauren’s blanket from where it’s folded on the couch. She’s on her way up the stairs when Clara comes out of the kitchen, looking at her in surprise. “Camila?”

“Oh, hi, I didn’t think anybody was in,” Camila says, “Lauren- um, went into sensory overload at the petting zoo. She’s upstairs now, she won’t talk or anything, so I’m just getting her blanket for her.”

“I’ll make her a hot chocolate,” Clara answers immediately, “she likes those when she’s upset. I’ll bring it up in a few minutes.”

“Okay,” Camila smiles, heading back up the stairs. When she opens the door to Lauren’s room, she blinks in surprise. Her girlfriend is exactly where she’d left her, except she’s taken her clothes off and thrown them around the room. It’s the messiest she’s ever seen her girlfriend’s bedroom.

When Lauren sees her, she whines and motions for her blanket, so Camila unfolds it and wraps her up. When Lauren lays down, nuzzling her face into Nala, Camila smiles and kisses her forehead. “I love you so much, Lo. Your mom is bringing you up a hot chocolate in a little while. Probably with your white mini marshmallows.”

Lauren doesn’t respond – she doesn’t even acknowledge Camila’s presence – so the younger girl stands up and picks up Lauren’s clothes from the ground, folding them up and putting them on Lauren’s desk chair. She knows that Lauren will be upset later if her room is messy.

After a few minutes, Clara comes up with hot chocolate in a _Lion King_ mug, and Lauren sits up to take a few sips. Clara asks Lauren if she’s okay, but Lauren doesn’t respond.

Clara gives her daughter a hug and says, “If you feel any better later, come downstairs and we’ll watch _The Lion King_.”

Once Clara leaves, Camila figures that she probably should too – with Clara here, she’s not really needed. So, she kisses Lauren, a little sad when her girlfriend doesn’t kiss back, and says, “Call me later, Lolo. I’ll keep my phone on loud for you.”

Camila is halfway through the door when she hears a distressed whine, and she turns around to see Lauren sat bolt upright, staring at her.

After a few seconds, Camila smiles. “You want me to stay?”

Lauren bobs her head in reply, so Camila quickly unzips her dress and grabs a t-shirt and pyjama pants from Lauren’s drawer, before she sits down next to her girlfriend. Lauren shifts a little, and a few seconds later, Camila is wrapped up in Lauren’s blanket with her.

Camila kisses Lauren’s forehead. “You can go to sleep, if you want. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

In a small, stuttered voice, Lauren says, “Sorry.”

“No, no, don’t apologise,” Camila shakes her head, “It was too loud for you, and it’s okay. You never have to apologise for going into sensory overload, babe. I promise you that-”

Lauren shakes her head quickly. “Hurt.”

“Hurt?” Camila frowns. “Where are you hurt? Do you need me to get you a band aid?”

Again, Lauren shakes her head. “I-I hurt- hurt _y-you_.”

Camila frowns. “Um… no you didn’t. Sure you’re okay, Laur? Because I’m definitely not hurt.”

“Shoved,” Lauren mumbles, “shoved you.”

“ _Oh_ , you meant that,” Camila’s eyes widen in realisation, “I’m fine, Lauren. It was just a little push, you didn’t hurt me. If you had smacked me or something, then it’d be different. But you just pushed me away, which is okay. You needed your space.”

Lauren sniffles, and Camila pulls her closer. “I’m- I’m s-so _sorry_.”

“It’s okay!” Camila assures her, “Lauren, I promise. I’m totally fine. I mean, to be honest, it was a pretty weak shove, too. You need to go to the gym, lift some weights. Maybe then you’ll get on my level of strength.”

To further her joke, Camila flexes her bicep, but Lauren shakes her head and gently pushes Camila’s hair back, kissing her forehead. “I- I _love_ y-you.”

“I know you do,” Camila says, “I love you too. Now get some rest. The mighty Lolo lion needs to feel better after that.”

Lauren blushes, and Camila smiles. After a few seconds, Lauren sends her a weak smile in return, and if anything, that just makes Camila grin wider.

“Thanks,” Lauren mumbles, “for- for _that_.”

“Any time,” Camila answers, “But I’m serious! You need rest. Close your eyes and let me give you tummy rubs until you fall asleep.”

Lauren does as she says, and it doesn’t take long for her to fall fast asleep. Camila stays awake, thinking about how glad she is that she made Lauren smile after all of that.

Especially because the ice cream hadn’t. Camila’s starting to think that Lauren’s addicted to her instead.


	73. Chapter 73

“Can we go for a walk?”

Lauren glances up from her book, frowning over at her girlfriend. “It’s midnight.”

“I know,” Camila answers, “we should go on an adventure. Even if it’s just down the road.”

“Um… okay,” Lauren shrugs and marks her place in her book, “I will not get dressed, though. I’m comfortable in my Simba onesie, and I doubt there will be anyone around.”

Camila laughs. “Even if there is, it’ll be funny to see their reactions. Come on, Lolo.”

Lauren stands up, and watches as Camila grabs one of her sweaters out of a drawer. Lauren frowns, because she hadn’t said Camila could borrow a sweater, but she’s okay with it, because Camila smells nice, so her sweater won’t smell a bad different afterwards, and she wants her girlfriend to be warm.

“Wow,” Camila laughs as she pulls on the oversized sweater, and glances at herself in the mirror, “this sweater is so big that I’m not even wearing it. _It_ is wearing _me_.”

Lauren frowns, but she can’t check the label for the size, because she always cuts it out. “It’s probably only a large or a medium. Lots of the time I get a large though, because in some stores, I’m a medium, and in others I’m a small, and I always get a size up so they’re comfy and I can flap with the sleeves.”

Camila snorts as she looks at herself in the mirror. “I’m usually an extra small if it’s unisex. Which I’m assuming this is.”

“Yes, I always buy unisex products, or I shop in the men’s section, because sometimes clothes in the women’s are weirdly sized, and I don’t like the way they fit me.” Lauren explains, pulling up the hood on her Simba onesie. “I personally don’t think clothing has a gender, though. It’s just clothing.”

“You’re right,” Camila smiles, “it is. I mean, sometimes I want to dress like a princess and all that cheesy stuff, but most of the time I want to steal your sweaters, because they smell like you. It’s like I’m getting a constant Lolo lion hug.”

Lauren frowns at her. “If you want a hug, just ask for one.”

“I ask for hugs when I want them,” Camila says, “it’s just like, wearing your clothes is a perpetual hug from you. Like you’re hugging me and not letting go. If you actually did that, it’d be kind of impractical.”

“It would?” Lauren frowns, and Camila nods in reply. “Oh. Yes, you’re probably right. Anyway, where would you like to walk? I think it’d be nice to go to the beach.”

“We can’t walk to the beach at this time.” Camila points out, “It’d take us a decade to get there, because I’d probably want to stop for snacks every ten minutes.”

“Well, we can drive!” Lauren suggests, “We can drive to the beach and then park there, because all of the good parking spots will be available, and then we can go on a nice walk on the beach.”

Camila laughs as Lauren tugs her downstairs and puts her shoes on, and when her girlfriend stands up, she can’t help but smile. Lauren’s wearing scuffed pair of Converse and dressed in nothing but a Simba onesie, and Camila can’t think of a time she’s ever seen anything cuter.

“Okay, Simba,” Camila teases her, “a walk on the beach is fine by me.”

“My name isn’t Simba,” Lauren answers with a frown, “It’s _Lauren_. You know that.”

“I know,” Camila laughs, “but you’re _dressed_ like Simba. That onesie is so realistic that it’s hard for me to differentiate.”

“Oh,” Lauren answers, tapping on her leg as Camila ushers her into the car, “well, it’s still me, Lauren.”

Camila smiles fondly, glad that she has the literal cutest girlfriend in the world. “That’s good to know, babe.”

“Do you think the ice cream parlour is still open?” Lauren asks, “I always forget to check opening hours.”

“Pretty sure they close at eleven,” Camila replies, “but we can check.”

Lauren hums in reply and plays with the fur on her onesie. “I’m soft right now.”

“You’re always soft,” Camila answers as she starts the car. She lets Lauren have the aux cord, since making her come for a walk wasn’t her idea. “And you’re cuddly, too.”

“Because I’m _thick_?” Lauren asks, and Camila nods in confirmation. “Chris told me that’s another word for chubby. I think chubby sounds cuter. I was a chubby baby, and I had puppy fat. Now my tummy is just regular. Not flat, but squishy. Squishy is a cute word, too.”

Camila laughs. “What makes a word cute?”

“I think… the diminutive suffix,” Lauren explains, and Camila, having no idea what that is, just nods along. “That’s why people use them when talking to babies. It makes words sound cuter, but also the ‘ee’ sound on the end is easy for them to understand.”

“So… puppy would be a cute word?” Camila asks, and Lauren nods. “What about kitten?”

“No, not that, but kitty would be,” Lauren says, “Because that has the diminutive suffix.”

“Huh,” Camila replies, “I learn something literally every time I hang out with you.”

Lauren smiles. “I’m smart. I know lots of facts, because I remember them all. Anyway, when we get to the beach, what would you like to talk about?”

“Well, I kind of… planned this,” Camila admits, “I have a bottle of wine in the trunk. I was just going to ask you to walk to the park, and we could have a glass of wine each and stargaze, but now that I think about it… the beach is a good idea. It’ll be like a repeat of our first date.”

“Oh, yes, we went for a picnic on the beach,” Lauren remembers, “that was a nice night, but I was very nervous, because it was the first time I’d ever been on a date, and the farthest my romantic affections had gone. I didn’t really know what to do, because I didn’t think you’d actually _want_ to go on a date with me.”

Camila laughs. “Didn’t plan that far ahead, huh? That’s strange, for you.”

“I know, but I didn’t know anything about dates, so I couldn’t plan,” Lauren explains herself, “I know a lot about them now, though. Especially about how I function on dates. I read that first dates can be awkward, but I’m not sure if ours was.”

“Honestly, Laur, it kind of was,” Camila laughs, “But it’s the same with most first dates. It was kind of awkward because neither of us knew what we were doing. I never knew if it was okay to do things I’d usually do on instinct, because of how you never really wanted me to touch you. You know, I didn’t think we’d ever get to the point we’re at now. I didn’t think you’d ever want to be… intimate with me.”

Lauren shuffles in her seat. “Would that have been… a problem?”

“No,” Camila answers immediately. “Sex barely fucking matters. Relationships are about love, and understanding, and just that deep connection between two people. Sex is only really there to strengthen that bond.”

Lauren hums. “I like being with you. Not- not many people would’ve been so patient, and I love you lots for that. Dinah kept asking me if I’d _given it up_ for you yet, and I always felt really bad, because I knew that you wanted to, but… I was scared. Now I’m not, though. We could have sex right now if we both want to.”

Camila snorts, “Not when you’re in a Simba onesie.”

“Why do you always call me babe?” Lauren asks, and Camila frowns, because she’s pretty sure she hadn’t called Lauren babe just then. “Why are some pet names usual for you, but others not? I don’t get pet names, anyway. Like, I could call you baby, but then I could call you a sock, and mean it in the same way, but… it’d make no sense.”

Camila laughs. “Are you high?”

“No, just sleepy,” Lauren answers, “but… I’m just, I never understood pet names, even now, I don’t. Like, _anything_ could be a pet name. You used to call me honey, and honey is an inanimate object, but so is… so is broccoli. But you wouldn’t call me broccoli.”

“I will now,” Camila decides with a smirk, “hey, broccoli. How are you? Actually, I think you’re more of a cauliflower girl. Love you, cauliflower.”

“ _Camz_ ,” Lauren huffs, “you’re not funny.”

“I’m actually really funny, spinach,” Camila answers, “maybe I’ll go somewhere my humour is appreciated. Sorry, kale, but I can’t date you anymore.”

“Okay, _I get it_ ,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “You don’t need to call me stupid things. Otherwise I’ll do it back.”

“Sure, carrot,” Camila replies with a teasing grin, “won’t happen again.”

 _“Stop!”_ Lauren exasperatedly replies, “You’re so annoying, oh my god.”

“Really?” Camila hums in thought, “I didn’t think I was. I’m sorry I upset you, cabbage.”

“Fine,” Lauren folds her arms across her chest, “I can do it too, um… _onion_.”

“Damn, I was going to do that next,” Camila frowns to herself, “whatever, lettuce, I can think of something else.”

Lauren sighs. “Shut up, carrot.”

“I already did carrot,” Camila lets out a cry in victory, “I win. Suck on that, turnip.”

“Yeah, well, you’re a stupid head,” Lauren answers, folding her arms across her chest. “I’m- I’m still smarter than you.”

“Yeah, I know, you graduated with a 5.0 GPA, I was there,” Camila rolls her eyes as she parks, “but I’ll stop calling you vegetables now.”

“Yes, go back to babe or baby, please,” Lauren says, “I don’t like being called in inanimate object, because I’m not an object, I’m a human with thoughts and feelings.”

Camila frowns. “You weren’t actually upset, were you?”

After a few moments of silence, Lauren beams at her and says, “Got you! I wasn’t actually sad, I was pretending to be for a prank, because I had to prank you back from the time you stole my special blue blanket and wouldn’t let me under it.”

Camila laughs. “From when we watched home movies?”

“Uh-huh,” Lauren laughs to herself, “I’m good at pranks.”

“Yeah, you are,” Camila smiles, leaning over and kissing her. “Come on, Simba. Let’s go for a walk.”

“Even though it’s a Simba onesie, if you’re going to call me a lion, I’d like you to call me Lolo lion,” Lauren answers, “because I’m not Simba, I’m Lauren.”

“Okay, Lolo lion,” Camila smiles. She opens up the door and nods towards the beach. “Do you want to go for our walk?”

“Yes,” Lauren answers, clambering out of the car, “what food did you bring? Do you have sandwiches? What kind of sandwiches? What did you bring for dessert?”

“I brought cookies,” Camila replies, “not homemade, since I’m not Ally, but they’re probably nice. They’re jumbo ones, in those packs of five that you can get from the supermarket. I figured if they’re selling them, then they’ve got to be nice, right?”

“I guess,” Lauren murmurs, “can I have a hug?”

“Duh,” Camila laughs, pulling her girlfriend in for a tight hug, “Love you, Laur.”

“I love you too,” Lauren says, looking around, “I’ve never seen the beach this quiet before. This is the best time to come, I think. Because it’s not crowded.”

“Still, if people see us, they’re going to think we’re weird,” Camila says, “well, _you’re_ weird, since you’re the one wandering around in a Simba onesie.”

Lauren shrugs. “It’s comfy.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Camila answers – Lauren’s Simba onesie looks incredibly warm, and she’s not sure that’s a good thing. It’s a cool night, considering it’s summer in Miami, but she doesn’t get how Lauren is handling it. She doesn’t get how Lauren handles her sweaters during the day, either. “I’m surprised you never overheat.”

“My senses are different to yours,” Lauren tells her, “I don’t get hot that easily. Or cold that easily. I’m not sure if that’s an autistic thing, or if it’s just a me thing, but… yeah. That’s why I can wear sweaters.”

“Still, I wouldn’t be able to handle your thick sweaters on a hot day,” Camila replies, “I wish I didn’t get so warm easily, because being too hot is the worst. Like, when you’re too cold, you can cuddle up in a blanket, but when you’re too hot, what are you supposed to do? Rip your skin off?”

Lauren cringes. “That isn’t a very nice mental image.”

“My point is, I hate being too hot,” Camila continues, “Like if I get too hot on a night, I can’t do anything about it if I’ve already pushed my duvet off.”

“You could just sleep naked, like me,” Lauren suggests, “I always sleep naked, even in winter. It’s comfy.”

“I don’t think it is,” Camila answers, “besides, my mom wakes me up a lot of the time, and I don’t particularly want her walking in on me with my boobs out.”

Lauren snorts. “Just stay under your duvet, then.”

“I can’t, though,” Camila says, “I always kick my blankets off in the night.”

“I do that sometimes,” Lauren absently replies, “but that’s only the times I’m wearing my Simba onesie, because I get too hot if I sleep with it on and have blankets over me, too.”

“I sleep in a t-shirt and pyjama shorts, though,” Camila points out, “I can’t overheat in that. I blame my bedroom. It’s always too cold in winter, even with the heating on, and too hot in summer. That’s why I like staying at yours.”

“Yes, and you get to cuddle me,” Lauren says, before she grabs Camila’s arm and runs over to the ice cream parlour. She deflates when she reads the _closed_ sign. “I wanted a triple scoop strawberry cone.”

“I guess we’ll have to come back another time,” Camila says, “you know, when the owners aren’t asleep.”

“Maybe one of the ice cream shops will be open,” Lauren hums in thought, “maybe they’ll have nice ice cream, too.”

“I’m pretty sure ice cream parlours aren’t open past midnight.” Camila points out. “Let’s go back to the car. I need to get the wine out. I thought ahead, too. The wine isn’t in an actual wine bottle, it’s in one of those big juice bottles. And I brought normal cups instead of wine glasses. Since we don’t want to be arrested.”

“Can we go back to Spain?” Lauren asks. “The drinking age there is sixteen, I think. Or we could go to Canada, where it’s… it depends there. But in Ontario it’s nineteen, so I could drink, but you couldn’t.”

Camila pouts. “That wouldn’t be fair. I don’t turn nineteen for like, a decade.”

Lauren blinks at her. “You turn nineteen in March. That’s only eight months away, not ten years.”

“It _feels_ like ten years away,” Camila points out, opening up the trunk of the car and getting out the wine she’d disguised as fruit juice. “Everything will be so different. I’ll be back in New York, so there’s a pretty high chance I’ll run into… um, yeah, but anyway, you’ll be with me, and we’ll be living together, and… it’ll just be nice, you know?”

Lauren frowns. “Who don’t you want to run into?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Camila shrugs, grabbing the picnic blanket from the back of her car and leading Lauren towards the sand. “Do you think we could order a pizza to here?”

“Maybe,” Lauren hums in reply, “But I want you to tell me who you’re afraid of running into.”

“Just the girl I told you about a while ago. The one that threatened to out me if I didn’t do whatever she said.” Camila shrugs. “It’s like… you know those stupid friendship anniversaries on Facebook? I was checking it because my mom told me to like all of those weird quotes about loving her daughter that she tagged me in, and she came up and it was like, ‘you’re celebrating four years of Facebook friendship’. And I was just thinking, what the fuck would I do if I ran into her?”

Lauren frowns at her. “She was a bitch. You don’t need to think about her. Even if you did run into her, you could just tell her to fuck off. Or, if you couldn’t, I’d do it for you.”

“What if I’m not with you, though?” Camila asks herself. “What if you’re busy, like you’re in a class or something, and I’m by myself and she gets into my head. You don’t get how bad it was, honestly. I’ve tried repressing it all, but I was genuinely so depressed. It’s pretty much the reason we moved here, you know?”

Lauren looks up in surprise as Camila lays the blanket down on the sand. “It was? I thought you moved because of your dad’s job.”

“Technically we did,” Camila says, “but it was a couple of weeks after my mom found out about everything with Ariana. She saw some… not so nice texts, and the next thing I knew, dad was getting a transfer here. I’m pretty sure she told him to ask for one. For a new job, far away, so I could start fresh.”

“Did you say Ariana?” Lauren asks with a frown. She could’ve _sworn_ she’d heard that name before. “Have you told me her name before?”

“I don’t think so,” Camila answers, sitting down and getting herself comfortable, “why?”

“It’s familiar,” Lauren thinks about it for a moment, but then she shrugs it off, not caring. It was probably a different Ariana, anyway. “Anyway, we could try ordering pizza, since that’s one of your favourite things. It’ll take your mind off your bad thoughts.”

Camila smiles. “Okay. Can you call them? I hate phone calls.”

“I will,” Lauren confirms, squeezing her girlfriend’s hand, happy she’s smiling. “I have money with me, because when we decided on the beach, I wanted to get ice cream.”

“Typically,” Camila laughs, “Anyway, I’m trying not to worry about New York. It’s not like we lived _directly_ in the city, and she’s probably somewhere else for college anyway. I’ll be fine. You’ll be there to comfort me even if… I mean, I know Marielle and Sandra probably won’t go to college, so we could run into them, but after you stood up for yourself… I don’t think they’ll bug us.”

“Maybe one day they’ll be nice,” Lauren shrugs, “they might realise they were wrong and say sorry.”

Camila bursts out laughing. “Lauren, I know you like seeing the good in people, but I really doubt that.”

“Oh,” Lauren hums in thought, “I _do_ like seeing the good in people. Did I tell you that Luis apologised to me? I got a message from him. He told me he was sorry for everything. I think… I think part of it is because I saw his little brother was diagnosed with autism. I think that’s a good thing, because it will help educate Luis, who wasn’t educated before.”

“That’s good, Laur,” Camila says, “but I still don’t regret breaking his nose. He deserved that.”

“I don’t like violence, but yes, he did,” Lauren replies, “anyway, I’d like to talk about something else, now. Would you like to tell me about any recent thoughts you’ve had? Even just funny little ones.”

Camila snorts. “What are you, my therapist?”

“You have a therapist? Like, an actual one?” Lauren asks, but before Camila can tell her _no_ , Lauren continues. “I used to have a therapist, but I don’t go to mine anymore. She was nice and very helpful, but I felt as though I didn’t need to go anymore.”

Camila pours out two glasses of wine as Lauren scowls at the sand on the leg of her onesie. “Why not?”

Lauren just smiles. “Because I’m happy.”

-

By the time their pizza arrives, the pizza guy not looking too happy with having to venture out towards the two weirdos sat on the sand in the middle of the night, they’re already a little tipsy. Camila’s cheeks are flushed a little pink, and Lauren is starting to have trouble getting her words out.

“I don’t want to walk all the way home.” Camila complains, fully aware that she can’t drive like this. “You know what? I’m going to call Dinah in a little while.”

Lauren laughs at her. “She won’t- won’t come. She’ll complain about- about beauty sleep. Call Ally instead, she’ll come.”

“I’ll pretend to be a lot drunker than I actually am.” Camila decides. “That way, she’ll feel bad for us and won’t want us to walk home by ourselves in case we get stabbed or something.”

“Why would anyone want to stab us?” Lauren asks, before she gasps and says, “What if they hate lions? That’s mean.”

Camila shrugs and flips open the box of pizza they got to share. She smiles at the three pepperonis on each slice. “You know? It’s pretty aesthetically pleasing to see a pizza like this. With the three pepperonis on each.”

Lauren hums. “I like it because I like the number three.”

“I like _you_ ,” Camila murmurs, “Because you’re _cute_.”

Lauren snorts. “We’re talking about pizza, not me.”

“What do you think is the weirdest pizza ever invented?” Camila asks, resting her head on Lauren’s shoulder as she eats her first slice. “Like, the most fucked up pizza topping ever.”

Lauren hums, and answers with a simple, “Pineapple. It doesn’t belong on pizza.”

“Yeah,” Camila agrees, “If Gordon Ramsay says it doesn’t, then it doesn’t. I wish I had Gordon Ramsay’s job. Like, he goes to people’s restaurants, insults them and their cooking, and then leaves. Goals.”

Lauren snorts. “You could- couldn’t be a food critic. You’re not good at cooking, you have to know stuff about food to be able to crit-critique it properly.”

“I do know stuff about food,” Camila replies, “I know what food tastes good, and what food tastes bad. I should start a cooking show! But like, the guidelines for whether or not your food is nice is based on if I like it. Like, if they make me something weird, I’ll be like, _yeah, sorry, I don’t eat monkey brain_ and they’d be disqualified.”

“Nobody would win, then,” Lauren points out, “because you never try anything, you’re picky, so- so everyone would lose unless they just gave you a banana on a plate.”

“Hey!” Camila defends herself, “I tried _alligator_ when we went to Disney. I try things.”

“Only because you wanted to prove me wrong,” Lauren points out, “but I’m never wrong, because I’m smart, I- I, um…” at Camila’s teasing smirk, Lauren cuts herself, off, “I never start arguments unless I know I’m right.”

“Not what you were going to say,” Camila laughs, “but you’re wrong here. I try things.”

Lauren just laughs in reply. “Okay. I’ll pretend that’s true.”

Camila huffs, and when Lauren finishes her slice of pizza, pounces on the other girl, digging her fingers into her side and tickling her. Lauren cries out, swatting Camila’s hands away and telling her to _stop_ through her giggles.

When Camila moves away with a victorious grin, Lauren pouts at her. “I don’t like being tickled.”

“Nobody does,” Camila points out, “so you’re not getting special treatment.”

“But I should,” Lauren answers, still pouting. “I’m- I’m the cutest, so you should always give me special treatment.”

“I distinctly remember you telling me, ‘Camz, I hate it when people treat me differently’. Special treatment is different, right?” Camila pokes her in the side. “So you’re not getting any.”

“That’s- I mean in a _bad_ way,” Lauren points out, “like, when people find out I’m autistic and then treat me like a kid. That annoys me, because I’m probably way smarter than them.”

Camila smirks. “Tell them about your 4.7 GPA, then.”

Lauren just scowls at her. “You know what it is, and it’s not that. That would annoy me, anyway. It’s not exact, but it’s not the number three, either.”

“Fine, 3.0,” Camila replies, “whoa, look, I’m suddenly smarter than you. Who’s the valedictorian _now_?”

“Still me,” Lauren tells her, “I have decided that I’m going to look after big cats. When I’m older. I’m going to major in animal studies or biology, and do art on the side, and then I’ll have a stable job when I’m older, looking after lions. I’ll get to touch their manes! And… and I’ll have a stable job, like I said, so I will be able to provide for you while you’re making music and making yourself known in that industry. And I’ll do- um, do art on the side, and my paintings will become really popular, and… and everything will be good, because I’ll have you, and I’ll have a job looking after lions and famous art.”

“I want that,” Camila mumbles to herself, “I want that future.”

“We’ll have it.” Lauren promises her. “We’ll be so happy. And Dash will be there, too! And Ally, Mani, Dinah, Lucy, Keana, Alexa and Shawn!”

“No.” Camila replies. “We won’t _be_ happy, because we already are.”

“Yes,” Lauren agrees, “We already are.”


	74. Chapter 74

Lauren thinks that Lucy Vives is magical.

Because for the very first time in her life, Lauren is losing at Monopoly, and Lucy is the one beating her. Lauren knows there’s no way this is actually happening, because _obviously_ , Lucy has magic powers, and is bewitching her, so Lauren will lose.

When Lucy lands on the second dark blue property, Lauren whines. “No! I’m supposed to collect those, because blue is my favourite colour.”

“Kick her ass, Lucy,” Camila says, watching them from the side – she’d gone bankrupt in the first ten minutes of the game. “Come on. Team Vives for the win.”

“Hey!” Lauren pouts indignantly. “You’re _supposed_ to root for me. I’m your girlfriend.”

“Yeah, and seeing someone else kick your ass at a board game is making me feel very fulfilled,” Camila smirks at her, “since, you know, you kick _my_ ass every time we play.”

“I- I don’t,” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, “well, I do, but not on purpose. I’m just better than you.”

Lucy plays with her fake money and looks up at Lauren, her gaze resting on the collar of her friend’s shirt. “Do you- um, do you want it? Because I won’t buy it if you want to collect them.”

“Lucy, no,” Camila says before Lauren can answer, “don’t let her have it, because then she’ll have a set, and she can build houses and shit. And then she’ll win.”

Keana walks back in from the kitchen with drinks for her and Lauren, “Who’s winning?”

“Lucy,” Lauren pouts, staring over at her friend, who is still deciding on buying the property or not. “It’s not fair.”

“It’s actually _very_ fair,” Camila points out, “you’re finally getting a taste of your own medicine, Laur. Suck it up.”

Lauren looks up at her in confusion. “I’m not sick, I don’t need any medicine.”

Camila smiles and ruffles her girlfriend’s hair. “It was a figure of speech. Like, you’re experiencing what you put others through when you beat them.”

“Oh,” Lauren frowns down at the board. “Couldn’t you have just _said_ that instead of talking about medicine? That’s dumb.”

Lucy holds out the property card, “Do you want it? Because I’m not collecting the blue ones.”

“Yes, please!” Lauren exchanges fake money with Lucy, and when she has the property card on the floor next to the other one, she claps her hands three times and moves around the board to hug Lucy. “Thanks, Luc. You’re nicer than _some people_.”

“Well, yeah, some people are murderers,” Lucy points out, hugging Lauren back, “I’m way nicer than them.”

Lauren pulls away and laughs. “I was- um, _shading_ Camz. Though I’m still not quite sure what being rude has to do with the shade.”

Camila pouts, and Keana laughs at her. “Rude, Lolo. No tummy rubs for you.”

“No!” Lauren exclaims. “I’m sorry for _shading_ you. I will not do it again.”

Camila kisses the top of Lauren’s head. “I was kidding. But I’m still rooting for Team Vives.”

“But that’s not fair,” Lauren folds her arms across her chest, “because Keana’s doing that, too. So I have nobody supporting me.”

After a few moments, Camila feels guilty and huffs. “Fine. I’m Team Jauregui.”

Lauren smiles proudly. “As you should be.”

Camila’s stomach flutters when Lauren rests her head on her shoulder as she takes her next turn. “Sorry, Lucy. Guess I have to root for this loser instead.”

“Why did you call her a loser?” Lucy asks, not looking up as she watches Lauren move her piece. “That’s mean.”

“Camz does it in a nice way,” Lauren answers, passing the dice over to Lucy, “she says insults, but makes them nice, and she taught me how to do it, too. Since it only works with some words. Like this,” she turns to Camila with a smile, “I love you, dumbass. See?”

“Oh,” Lucy answers, looking over to Keana, “You’re my favourite person, loser.”

Keana laughs, and moves off the couch to sit down next to Lucy by the game board. “Thanks, Luc. You’re my favourite person too.”

Lauren smiles at her friends, and turns back to Camila. “Do you want to take my turn? We can be a team.”

“Nope, you’re still on your own, Jauregui,” Camila pokes her in the side, “I can’t interfere. It won’t be a real win for you, will it?”

“Oh, no, probably not,” Lauren replies, “okay. I will play by myself, and you can be- um, my pretty cheerleader. Because you used to do that, didn’t you? Though, I don’t know _how_ , because you fall over at least three times a day.”

Lucy and Keana laugh, but Camila just rolls her eyes. “I only joined because Sandra and Marielle told me to. And when I realised I was bi, I could hang out and stare at cute girls.”

“And fall over,” Lauren finishes for her, patting her on the head, “It’s okay that you’re clumsy. But you get even clumsier around cute girls. I’d know, because I am a cute girl.”

Camila smiles to herself. “You know, cocky Lauren is one of my favourites.”

Lauren blinks. “I thought you liked every part of me.”

“I do,” Camila assures her. “But cocky, confident Lauren is hot. Shy Lauren is a cutie pie.”

“But… but, it’s not like I’m-” Lauren frowns. “I’m just _Lauren_. One person. There’s only one Lauren, and that’s me. I don’t like it when people have the same name as me, because _I’m_ Lauren.”

Camila laughs a little. “Baby, I know you’re just one person. Nothing wrong with other people having the same name, though.”

Lauren huffs. “There _is_ , because I want my name to mean me, not someone else, and-”

“Lauren, are you going to take your turn?” Lucy asks. “I’ve been waiting for ages.”

“Oh, sorry,” Lauren mumbles, taking her turn and moving her piece four places. She passes _go_ and smiles. “Two hundred, please.”

Lucy passes it over, and Lauren sets it down on top of the other hundred she has. Lucy has more money than her, Lauren can tell, but it’s close, and with the two dark blue ones, Lauren will be able to bring this back.

Maybe Lucy’s magic is wearing off a little, Lauren thinks. There’s no way she’s going to let someone beat her. Not without a fight.

After the next few turns, Lauren is satisfied, because she finally overtakes Lucy when it comes to money, and she owns a fair few of the properties. Plus, she’d put two houses on the dark blue properties, and Lucy had landed on one of them and had to pay her a lot of money.

Another half hour passes, and both Lauren and Lucy are still playing – neither are close to going bankrupt – so Keana cuts in after Lauren’s next turn. “You guys both get three more turns, and then you have to count your money. I want to go do something instead of watching this showdown.”

Lauren takes her next three turns, and when they count their money, Lauren beams. She’d won by just $50. “Thank you for being a good opponent, Luc.”

“You’re welcome.” Lucy smiles back, before she stands up and stretches. “I want some grapes.”

When Lucy disappears into the kitchen, Keana following her, Lauren turns to Camila and kisses her. “That’s for being my good luck charm.”

Camila frowns. “I’m your good luck charm?”

“Yes,” Lauren confirms, “because- um, I was losing. When you were cheering for Lucy. But then you switched to cheering for me, and I started winning. You’re my good luck charm.”

“Aw,” Camila replies, “you’re so cute. That’s romantic, though, put that in your wedding vows. I’m assuming you’ve already written yours.”

Lauren pouts. “I wasn’t trying to be romantic, I was stating a fact. But okay, I will remember that to put in my wedding vows. I haven’t written that yet, because I need plenty of space for things that happened when we’re older, so… I am not going to write it until we are actually engaged. Otherwise it’ll be quite lengthy, and it’ll probably take up all the time, and I’m not sure you’re allowed to do that.”

“It’ll be your wedding, Laur,” Camila points out, “pretty sure you can do whatever you want.”

“Oh,” Lauren smiles to herself, “okay then, I will do whatever I want. I’ve just never had a wedding before, so I don’t know how they work.”

“I’d fucking hope you’ve never had a wedding before,” Camila folds her arms across her chest, “you’re all mine, Lolo lion. Don’t forget that.”

“How could I possibly forget?” Lauren frowns, and Camila smiles, because her girlfriend is on a romantic roll today. But then, Lauren continues, and Camila laughs to herself. “Unless I get amnesia, I wouldn’t forget something as big as my girlfriend, and even then, I’d probably remember you, because I’m in love with you. And- and I’m not the forgetful one, you are.”

“You know that saying that’s like _‘you’d forget your head if it wasn’t screwed onto your body’?”_ Camila asks. “Well, I’m like-”

“That’s a stupid saying,” Lauren interrupts. “Heads aren’t screwed on, they’re just _there_ , part of your body. Humans don’t have screws. And it’d be impossible to forget your head anyway, because even if your head wasn’t attached to your body, that’s where you see out of, so you’d see your body walking away. Also, it’d be impossible for you to even be alive, if you were decapitated.”

“Okay, never mind,” Camila laughs, resting her head on Lauren’s shoulder, “you’re so cute, Laur.”

Lauren hums in reply. “I know, you tell me rather frequently.”

“Frequently?” Camila replies, “You could’ve said ‘a lot’. This isn’t a school essay, babe. You don’t need to use certain words.”

“Are you making fun of me?” Lauren asks. “Because- I know sometimes I talk relatively formally for a nineteen-year-old, but that’s just because it helps me. Because I didn’t- I could never talk as a kid, and using proper grammar instead of slang is easier for me. That’s- um, that’s why when I met you, I spoke quite formally, because when I’m extra nervous or upset, sometimes I can’t… I can’t speak. And I didn’t want that to happen around you, since you were new, and maybe you’d think I was stupid, which I’m not, I’m smarter than most people.”

“I’m not making fun of you,” Camila assures her, “Lauren, I’d never make fun of you. You know, for things tied to your autism. Ugly hats are fair game.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “It’s not ugly.”

“Uh-huh,” Camila smirks in reply, because it _is_ , “but anyway, I think it’s cute, how you flaunt your big vocabulary. You should be proud of how well you can talk, because even though it’s considered a basic thing, you were told you’d never speak, right?”

“More than I already did,” Lauren finishes for her, “which was basically _hakuna matata_ , _mami, papi_ and _abuela_.”

“Exactly,” Camila replies, “and now you’re always showing off how much you’ve learned, and it’s amazing to me. Honestly, I wish I could’ve been there to see you grow up. To have grown up with you, like the girls did.”

Lauren shrugs. “I met you when I needed you.”

Camila frowns. “You what?”

“I met you when- when I needed you,” Lauren repeats, Camila still just as confused. “When I met the girls, I needed them. I’d never had friends before and- and they were there. They helped me when I was scared and starting a new school. But- um, I met you in junior year, because that’s when I needed you. I was _so_ insecure when we met, Camz. More so than I’d ever been in my life. It was the start of a new year, and- and the thing with Luis happened at the end of sophomore year, and it really- it really fucked me up, more than I’d like to admit.”

“I met you when I was at my lowest. When I hated myself and wanted nothing more than to be neurotypical,” Lauren murmurs, and Camila wraps her arms around her girl and keeps listening. “The girls- they always tried to be there for me, but they didn’t… they didn’t fully understand. I felt like I’d always be held back. Like I’d always be behind everyone else, and I didn’t think anyone could ever fall in love with me. Why would they, when they could have someone _normal_?”

“Lauren, you _are_ normal,” Camila argues, “you’re-”

“I know, but _shush_ , I’m telling the story,” Lauren pouts, but kisses her on top of her head. “When I met you, I had- I know that I had feelings for you pretty much straight away. Or… gay away, I guess.”

Camila laughs. “God, I love you so much, lion.”

“I love you too,” Lauren replies, “but I was never going to act on them, because I knew- well, I _thought_ I knew that you’d never like me back. The only reason I tried asking you out was because- well, because Normani told you about Austin. So I would ask you before someone else did, because it’d hurt more to see you with someone else than to try and ask you out myself. Because at least I _tried_ , right? But I was _so_ insecure, Camz. I was frightened because I just knew in my head you’d say no. And… and towards the start of our relationship, I’m not going to lie, it felt… it felt one sided.”

“It felt like it was pity. And it made me feel even _worse_. Because this girl I really liked, who I was so excited to take out on a date… you were just pitying me.” Lauren murmurs. “And everything was just _bad_. I had the girls, and my siblings, but… but my mom was still not understanding, and- and it was just hard, because some of the things she said made me feel like she didn’t love me. And if my own _mother_ couldn’t love me, then… then who says you would?”

“I felt so worthless, because I wasn’t like everyone else, but I wanted to be so badly.” Lauren murmurs. “The whole thing with Luis… he told me that nobody would ever want to be with me, and I felt like that was true, because you always seemed… distant. You seemed like you were having second thoughts at first, because when I asked you to be my girlfriend, you were all weird. I don’t know what that was, but I could tell it wasn’t good.”

“But then you started changing, and it- it was confusing to me. You started wanting to be around me all the time, and smiling, and telling me that you cared and…” Lauren cuts herself off with a shrug, “It- it was just… it was so nice to hear that from someone who wasn’t Dinah, Mani or Ally. Someone who… who was looking at me in a romantic way. I still… I still wished I was like everyone else, but then- then you helped me see. By loving me. You showed me… you showed me that I was worth something. Because if you could fall in love with me, someone who didn’t understand autism at all at first… then maybe I could love myself.”

“I _do_ love myself. I’m proud to be autistic. Because it’s a part of me, and… and I love all the parts of me. Even the negative ones, like the way I’m sometimes a brat in the morning when my mom wakes me up early.” Lauren smiles to herself. “I met you when I needed you. When I felt so insecure that I didn’t think I’d ever be happy. And you helped give me a nudge in the right direction. Because _you_ , someone who didn’t like me at all at first, fell for me. And because of that, I fell for myself, too.”

Camila pulls Lauren in for a kiss. “I met you when I needed you, too. Let’s be honest, Laur. I was a bitch when we met. Way too quick to judge, especially you, since you wouldn’t talk to me. But I’m not anymore.”

“Yes you are,” Lauren replies, before she sends her a teasing grin. “Just kidding. I’m getting better at jokes.”

“Yeah,” Camila rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder. “You are. It’s adorable. I still wish I could’ve met little Lolo, though. But I’m glad we met when we did. I’m so happy I could do those things for you. That I helped you love yourself. And I’m just glad we found each other and helped one another grow.”

Lauren hums in reply. “Yes. I love you a lot. Anyway, we should… go find Lucy and Keana. I think maybe they heard us talking about something serious and stayed in the kitchen.”

With a kiss to the top of Camila’s head, Lauren stands up and disappears into the kitchen with a smile. Camila stares after her, thinking about how much she’s fallen for Lauren, and happy that her girlfriend is always there to catch her.

-

They end up going to the beach – Keana’s idea, but Lauren is the one to make them get in the car and drive down there – and practically the second they park, Lauren jumps out of the car and runs to her favourite ice cream shop, returning a few minutes later with a triple scoop strawberry cone, and a regular banana one for Camila.

They walk along the beach, and by the time Lucy has picked out a spot on the sand for them, Camila turns around, and Lauren is gone. She looks through the crowds, and when she can’t see her girlfriend anywhere, she gets worried, and pulls out her phone. They’d shared their locations with each other a little while ago, and when Camila checks it, she sees that Lauren is about half a mile down the beach.

“I’m going to go find her,” Camila tells Lucy and Keana, because what if her girlfriend is somewhere, curled up in a corner in sensory overload? What if she’s alone and scared? “I’ll be back.”

Camila pushes through groups of people, tracking Lauren’s location, and when the little dot that shows her location, and the one with Lauren’s contact photo – an adorable selfie she’d taken – she looks around, and spots her girlfriend walking towards her with a smile on her face.

And a fucking _puppy_ in her arms.

“Hi, Camz,” Lauren greets her with a smile, and while Camila is relieved she’s okay, she’s more than a little confused about the dog. “This is Leo! He’s our new son.”

“Um… what?” Camila stares down at the dog. “Where did you get the dog from, Laur?”

“I just adopted him!” Lauren beams. “There’s an adoption fair happening over there, sorry I didn’t tell you where I went, I just got distracted, because they have cute little puppies there.”

Camila stares at her in shock. “But- but what about Dash?”

“He has a new brother!” Lauren beams, holding Leo out to her. “Do you want to hold him?”

“But- I’m just-” Camila rubs at her eyes, just to make sure she’s not hallucinating this entire encounter. “You adopted a dog? Isn’t that a little spontaneous for you?”

“Look at him, he’s so cute!” Lauren smiles to herself. “People are always telling me to- to be spontaneous more, so I am. Dash has a new brother, now.”

“Lauren- you can’t just-” Camila looks at the dog, “Your parents are going to _kill_ you.”

Lauren frowns. “They wouldn’t ever hurt me.”

“I don’t mean literally,” Camila replies, “you’re just- you’re going to be in so much trouble.”

Lauren looks down at Leo with a frown, but it quickly morphs into a smile again. “Oh well. I can’t take him back, I’ve already named him and he’s mine. Dash will love him, Dash loves playing with other dogs at the park.”

“Oh my god,” Camila murmurs to herself, “When your mom is telling you off, I’m going to mention that I was shocked, too. You know, so she doesn’t think I’m a bad influence.”

“How is adopting a puppy bad? I already have one dog, why not get another?” Lauren rocks on her heels. “Anyway, I love Leo. Let’s take him to meet Lucy and Keana.”

They’re as shocked as Camila was – Lucy’s wears off fairly quickly, and she holds Leo with a smile, telling Lauren how cute he is. Camila makes sure that everyone knows she had no part in it, but Lauren keeps calling the puppy _‘our new son!’_ and she knows that Lauren will drag her into this mess eventually.

Besides, the dog is cute, she has to admit that.

When Keana drops them both off at Lauren’s, and Camila sees Clara’s car in the driveway, she braces herself for the inevitable argument. Lauren tries her best to assure her. “Don’t worry, my mami never shouts at me anymore, she knows it upsets me.”

Instead of trying to sneak Leo up to Lauren’s room, like Camila would’ve done if she’d randomly adopted a dog, Lauren calls out to Clara. “Mami! Come meet Leo, he’s your new grandson.”

Camila cringes when Clara comes out of the lounge and stares at the dog in Lauren’s arms. “ _Lauren Michelle_ , that better not be a real dog in your arms.”

“Yes, he’s a puppy, see,” Lauren holds him out, and Leo licks Clara’s cheek. “He likes you!”

Camila holds her hands up in defence. “I had no part in this. It’s all on her.”

Clara looks like she’s about to explode from anger, but Lauren glances up at her, her bright green eyes wide and smiling, and Camila can see the woman calm down. “Is there any way you can take him back?”

Lauren’s face falls. “I’m not taking him back, he’s mine.”

Clara sighs. “Lauren, you’re usually so smart. You don’t know if you can handle two dogs. You should’ve thought this through.”

“I will walk him with Dash, and he already has his shots, and- and I’ll potty train him like I did with Dash. I can do it!” Lauren tells her, putting Leo down and letting a curious Dash sniff him. “I’m responsible. And- um, you always wanted me to be more like an allistic person, and allistic people make spontaneous decisions, so… I just did what you wanted.”

To Camila’s surprise, Clara laughs. “Fine. You can keep him, but he’s _your_ responsibility. And don’t think you’re not in trouble. No _Lion King_ for two weeks.”

Lauren looks like someone had just informed her that she has two days to live. “ _What_?”

“That’s what you get for not going through this with me or your dad,” Clara tells her. “You’re lucky I’m not taking him back to where you got him.”

Lauren frowns. “But-”

“ _Laur_ ,” Camila interrupts before Lauren can say anything, “don’t push it. You got off pretty lightly.”

“Oh,” Lauren looks down at Leo, who is wagging his tail at Dash, and she brightens up a little. “Look, they’re friends!”

Camila waits until Lauren picks Leo up, and ushers her upstairs. “ _God_ , only you could buy a literal puppy and have your only punishment be that you’re not allowed to watch _The Lion King_. My mom would literally ship me off to a psychiatric ward for even _thinking_ of buying a puppy.”

Dash jumps up onto Lauren’s bed and starts sniffing Leo again. Lauren smiles. “He’s your new brother, Dash.”

Camila laughs. “Well, now I know I’m not in danger of being murdered by your mom, I’ll claim him as my son, too.”

Lauren smiles. “Good. I am upset about my punishment, though. How am I going to stay away from _The Lion King_ for two weeks? I’ll only be able to watch _The Lion King 2_ , _The Lion King 1 ½_ and _The Lion Guard_. But the first movie is the best!”

“Um… Lo?” Camila laughs. “I’m pretty sure your mom meant the entire franchise when she told you your punishment, not just the one movie.”

Lauren stares down at the bed for a moment, and reaches to pick up Nala. “She only said _The Lion King_ , which means the first movie.”

Instead of arguing, Camila just smiles, and when Leo clambers into her lap, she rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder. “Fuck, Laur, we’re not even in our twenties yet, and we already have two kids.”

Lauren laughs. “We’re mothers.”

“Yeah,” Camila agrees with a smile. “We’re mothers.”


	75. Chapter 75

“Lauren?”

“Yeah?” Lauren asks, not looking up from her sketchbook. She’s in the middle of a sketch of Camila, her girlfriend sat across from her, reading a book, unaware that Lauren is drawing her. “Are you okay?”

Camila sighs, and Lauren worries a little. If Camila is upset, that’ll make Lauren sad, too. She hates seeing Camila upset. “I’m just so… happy.”

“Oh,” Lauren grins when she realises it was a happy sigh. “Well, um… I’m glad. Can I keep drawing now?”

“I have questions,” Camila continues, as if Lauren hadn’t spoken, “for you.”

“Um…” Lauren keeps drawing, because she can answer questions and draw at the same time. “Okay. What do you want to ask me?”

“Well, first of all,” Camila shifts closer to her, and Lauren looks up to smile at her, “I want to know where the hell we’re going to live in New York. Because, you know, we have a month and a half until we’re _there_.”

“Oh, well, I’ve been looking at places with my dad.” Lauren says. “Pet friendly places. So Dash and Leo can come with us.”

Lauren looks over at her two dogs with a smile. She loves them both so much. Camila follows her gaze with a smile. “Well, yeah. But… have you found anywhere?”

“Well, there’s this one place I like, I’ll show you later,” Lauren assures her, because right now, she’s sketching. “Anyway, what are your other questions.”

“Okay, next one is,” Camila pauses for a moment, before she smiles and says, “Can I take your name?”

Lauren frowns. “You want to be called Lauren? No. I already told you, I don’t like when people have the same name as me, because _I’m_ Lauren.”

“No, I don’t mean like that,” Camila laughs. “I mean, like… I want to be Mrs Jauregui. When we get married.”

“Oh,” Lauren blushes, because it means a lot that Camila would want to take her name. Lauren was quite uncomfortable with the idea of changing her name to something else, because names are set, they’re not supposed to change, and she _hates_ changes. She was going to suggest that Camila stay as Camila Cabello, and Lauren would stay as Lauren Jauregui.

She likes this plan a lot better.

Camila takes Lauren’s free hand. “Is that a yes?”

“Oh- um, I-” Lauren stutters. “You’d want to be… Mrs Camila Jauregui?”

“Yeah.” Camila answers with a smile. “Because it’s like… everyone would know I’m yours. I would introduce myself as Mrs Jauregui. Yeah, I’m _Mrs_ _Jauregui_ , and this is my beautiful wife, _Mrs Jauregui_. No, I took her name when we got married twenty years ago.”

Lauren hums in thought. “I like that idea a lot. You- you being Mrs Jauregui. You can… you can take my name if you want.”

Camila smiles. “Perfect. I can’t wait to tell everyone _oh, sorry, I’m not Camila Cabello anymore. Yeah, I got married. Who’s the lucky lady? Well, it’s Lauren, obviously. My Lauren.”_

“Your Lauren,” Lauren repeats, a little dazed, because she likes being Camila’s. “I am your Lauren. Forever and always.”

Camila pulls Lauren in for a kiss, and the older girl drops her pencil in favour of cupping Camila’s jaw with her hands and pulling her in closer. They part, and Lauren gazes into her girlfriend’s eyes for a few moments, because she’s comfortable looking Camila in the eye. She knows that eyes are supposed to be the windows to the soul, and that they let people see what you’re thinking, and she wants Camila to know what she’s thinking.

Lauren would trust Camila with her life.

Camila kisses her cheek. “You know, I always get really happy when Lucy calls me _your Camila_ , when you guys are talking. Like, hearing other people be like, _that’s Camila, she’s Lauren’s_ … it just makes me really happy.”

Lauren hums. “I love you. Can I keep drawing you now?”

“You’re drawing me?” Camila frowns, and looks over at Lauren’s sketchbook before the older girl can stop her. While she doesn’t like people looking at her sketches before they’re finished, she decides to let Camila, because she hadn’t asked permission before she started drawing.

While Camila is silent, Lauren wonders if she likes the drawing. “Is it… okay?”

“You’re drawing me,” Camila says again, looking over the rough sketch, “ _naked_.”

“Um,” Lauren flushes, and shifts uncomfortably. “I- um, yes. I am. Is that… is that alright?”

“Of course it’s alright, baby,” Camila replies, still staring at the drawing, enamoured. “It’s just- um… this was me when I was reading, right?”

Lauren nods. “Yes. I thought you looked very beautiful.”

“Well, uh,” Camila laughs, “I’m not naked right now, Laur. And- um, it’s a pretty… accurate drawing.”

“Yes,” Lauren confirms again, because she’s a very good artist, and all of her drawings, even if it’s from memory, are very accurate. “I am a good artist.”

“I’m not arguing with that.” Camila answers, looking over the drawing. “It’s just… _really_ accurate. Like… this is from memory? You don’t have a sneaky picture you’re using?”

“No, why would I have a picture?” Lauren asks. “You’ve never sent me any. But I like your body, and I think about it a lot. Unless… unless you don’t want me to.”

“I’m glad you do,” Camila smiles, “means you think about _me_ a lot. Which, you know, is kind of implied, since we’re in love and all that cheesy stuff, but… yeah.”

“You’re always on my mind,” Lauren shrugs. Sometimes, she sees things in a store, and the first thought in her head is _oh, Camila would like that_. She thinks about her girlfriend a lot, even if it’s not in an entirely sexual way. “Can I go back to drawing now? It’s only a rough sketch, so…”

“Sure,” Camila passes the sketchbook back, and Lauren goes back to drawing, humming to herself. “It kind of shocks me that we only have a month and a half left in Miami. I don’t want to leave, in a weird way.”

“I am worried about the change and how it will affect me,” Lauren replies, smiling down at her art. “But I’ll have you to keep me grounded. Even if I get upset, which I might, because I don’t like big changes, you know how to look after me. Like, um… when we went to the petting zoo.”

“Oh,” Camila’s face falls, remembering how upset Lauren was. “Yeah… that wasn’t a good day.”

“Except, in a way, it was,” Lauren continues, “like, um… you handled it really well. Compared to the last time I went into sensory overload and did something bad, like- uh, the first time, I told you to shut up, and you got mad. But- um, with this, I pushed you, and you still- you didn’t get mad. You looked after me.”

Camila laughs. “It was a weak shove. Like I’ve always said, I’m clearly the tough one in this relationship.”

“Yes, you’re my protector,” Lauren beams in agreement, shading a part in her drawing. “But you looked after me. You’re just… I’m really happy. That you understand me now. You’ve understood me for a while, but… yes. Can we do something fun? When I finish my drawing, though.”

“Okay,” Camila cuddles up next to Lauren, “we could go out somewhere-”

“I don’t want to leave the house,” Lauren replies, “You could go in the pool and I will watch you swim.”

“You can come in the pool, too,” Camila says, “Otherwise I’ll splash you.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “I don’t like swimming all that much. But I like watching you do it.”

“We swam on prom night,” Camila points out, “you were fine then.”

“Because I was with you and it was prom night and we were doing something rebellious, since we weren’t supposed to be there,” Lauren replies, adding a few extra details to her drawing. “But I don’t like swimming because I’m not good at it, and I have bad memories.”

Camila sits up. “If your aunt did _anything_ -”

“No, it wasn’t like that,” Lauren answers, absently putting her hand up her shirt to touch the scars on her back. “It- um, it was my fault. One day my dad was busy working and my mom was looking after Chris, and I went out into the back yard and fell in the pool. I couldn’t swim, so…”

Camila stares at her. “You nearly drowned?”

“Yeah,” Lauren answers, “Luckily my dad had the window open and he heard the splashes. He got me out. Even though my mom taught me to swim after that, I’m not very good at it, and I didn’t… I don’t know, it scares me a little.”

“You definitely _fell_ , right?” Camila asks. “Nobody pushed you?”

“Why would someone push me?” Lauren asks with a frown. “I was alone in the garden, because I wanted to play outside. And then I tripped and fell. That’s all. My parents told me not to go in the garden, but I did anyway. So it was my fault.”

Camila kisses Lauren’s forehead. “I’m so glad you’re okay. If you were hurt…”

“Then you’d never have met me,” Lauren replies, “so you wouldn’t be upset at all. But, in theory, you would, because if I’d drowned, then you wouldn’t have met the love of your life. And that’d suck for you.”

“Yeah,” Camila murmurs, “It really would suck for me. I love you so much, Laur.”

“I love you too,” Lauren says, closing her sketchbook, because it’s hard to focus when Camila keeps talking. “Let’s do something fun.”

“Okay,” Camila nods, “Like what?”

“Um… you could- um, make me cookies,” Lauren says, “and I’ll wait here all comfy until you finish baking.”

Camila snorts. “I’m pretty sure I’ll need adult supervision around the oven. Get up. If I’m making cookies, you’re helping.”

“Okay then,” Lauren gets off her bed, making sure to put her sketchbook on her desk, where it belongs. “We will bake cookies. Future Mrs Jauregui.”

Camila beams and holds out her hand. “Yeah. Come on, Mrs Jauregui, and watch as I make you the best cookies you’ve ever had.”

Lauren smiles. “You got Ally’s recipe?”

“No, but _my_ recipe could be just as good,” Camila pouts. “If you love Ally’s baking so much, why don’t you marry _her_ instead?”

“I don’t think Ally would want to marry me,” Lauren comments as she follows Camila to the kitchen. “But you do. So I guess I’ll marry you.”

“Wow, nice to know I’m second choice to Ally,” Camila frowns. “And here I thought you loved me.”

“I do love you, and you’re always my first choice,” Lauren replies. “Like, um, if we were in a gym class, and I got picked to be a team captain, I’d pick you first. But I really like Ally’s cookies, they’re the best.”

“I know, Laur,” Camila laughs and kisses Lauren’s temple. “I’m just teasing. So, what’s the first step?”

“You said you had a recipe.” Lauren points out. “So that’s your job. To tell me the steps.”

“That was a joke,” Camila replies. “So… it’s actually _your_ responsibility.”

Lauren rolls her eyes, put pulls her phone out of her pocket to search up a cookie recipe. She picks out the first one, because she doesn’t want to search for too long, and puts her phone on the kitchen counter. “We need to weigh out the ingredients.”

Camila gets the scales out of the cupboard, and Lauren watches as her girlfriend goes around the kitchen and gets out everything she lists off. When Camila puts it all on the counter and says, “What’s next?” Lauren smiles.

“I think it’s cute,” Lauren comments, humming happily. “You know where everything is. Without me having to tell you.”

Camila shrugs. “I spend like, ninety percent of my time here. And it’s nearly been two years. It’s safe to say I’m perfectly comfortable in your house.”

“Mmm, yes,” Lauren starts weighing out the sugar. “I remember when Mani didn’t think we’d last. She was wrong, and it’s funny, because she used to always be right about people. But I guess I’m just… I have a better judge of character. When it comes to you.”

Camila squeezes her hand. “You knew when we met that I was yours. I guess it just took me a little while to catch up, and I understood Mani’s reservations.”

“I never did, but I guess I don’t have to now,” Lauren shrugs, “Because we’re going to get married one day. You’re going to be Mrs Jauregui. Can I change your contact name to Camz Jauregui?”

“Go for it, baby,” Camila smiles, and pours the sugar into the big bowl Lauren had gotten out, “I would change yours to something like that, but Mrs Jauregui is your mom in my contacts, and I don’t accidentally want to send your mom texts about how much I love you. I feel like that’d make things awkward.”

Lauren laughs. “Yes, probably. My contact name in your phone is Lolo Jauregui, isn’t it?”

“Nope,” Camila shakes her head. “It used to be, but I changed it to Lolo lion. I felt like that was more fitting, since it’s what I call you.”

“Yours is just Camz.” Lauren says, “But I’ll add Jauregui on it. So we can look forward to when you- um, take my name. And be my wife.”

After a few moments of silence, Camila smiles, and Lauren thinks that she’s happy because she’s probably thinking about their love, and how they’re going to be happy forever. But then, Camila grabs one of the eggs on the counter, and with a loud, “I’m pranking your ass!” smashes it over Lauren’s head.

Lauren stands in shock for a moment, cringing at the feel of the egg dripping down the back of her neck. “I have to prank you back.”

Camila snorts, but before she can do anything, Lauren grabs the remaining flour – there wasn’t much left in the bag after they weighed it out – and dumps that over Camila’s head. For good measure, she picks up the other egg and cracks it on her girlfriend’s head.

Camila wipes the flour from her eyes and looks up at Lauren in shock. “ _Rude_.”

“You did it first,” Lauren laughs to herself, “I get the shower first, too, because it’s my house.”

Camila pouts. “We can share the shower. And, you know… do other things in there.”

Lauren shakes her head. “You don’t get to share with me because you did a mean thing. It’s on my _sweater_!”

Camila laughs, and grabs Lauren’s hand, tugging her towards the stairs. “It was just a prank, bro.”

“Don’t call me a bro, I’m a girl. Also, we’re not related, that’d be weird.” Lauren answers, cutting herself off with a loud _ew_. “I don’t like this feeling, get it off me. It was- it was funny at first but I’m uncomfortable now, it’s a horrible texture and my back- it’s really sensitive sometimes-”

“I’m sorry, baby,” Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek, and when she catches a glimpse of the two of them in the bathroom mirror, she bursts out laughing. “We look ridiculous. Come on, take your sweater off.”

When Lauren stays unresponsive for the most part, whining about how she doesn’t like eggs anymore, and they’re now her least favourite food, Camila rolls her eyes and takes her girlfriend’s sweater off for her. Lauren isn’t wearing a bra, as usual, and Camila reaches around her to turn the shower on.

Camila pulls off her own clothes, and after a few moments, Lauren realises that her girlfriend is completely naked in front of her. Instead of doing a typical Lauren thing, and telling her that she’s beautiful or something, the older girl suddenly stops caring about the egg dripping from her head and smiles.

“Yes, you were right,” Lauren comments, “My drawing was very accurate.”

Camila laughs. “Shut up and take your pants off.”

Lauren hums. “Take me on a date first.”

“Nice joke, baby,” Camila laughs as Lauren takes her pants and underwear off. “Did you read that on google?”

“No, one time you said it,” Lauren replies. “I stole your joke.”

Camila laughs, and gets in the shower, thankful for the water washing her off. Lauren gets in after her, and when Camila grabs the shampoo, Lauren frowns. Before Lauren can complain, Camila pulls her pouty girlfriend towards her and starts washing her hair.

“Don’t say I’m not good to you,” Camila replies with a laugh, lathering shampoo into her girlfriend’s hair. “Look, I’m sacrificing washing my own hair for you.”

Lauren hums as Camila’s fingers run through her hair. “Yes. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Camila says, washing the shampoo off her girlfriend’s hair. She goes to get the conditioner, but Lauren is already washing out Camila’s hair, lathering shampoo through it. “That feels nice.”

“Yes.” Lauren answers, using one hand to squeeze Camila’s ass. “What about that?”

“ _Lauren_ ,” Camila gasps, not expecting that, “what’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing,” Lauren smiles innocently, pressing a kiss to her neck. “But I like your ass a lot.”

When Lauren finishes washing Camila’s hair out, making sure to trail one hand down her body to squeeze her ass at regular intervals, Camila turns around and pulls Lauren in for a rough kiss. “If you’re trying to turn me on, it’s working.”

Lauren pulls away with a laugh. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Mhm,” Camila laughs, “sure. So you’re fine with me washing your hair, then?”

“Um…” Lauren looks over at the conditioner, and then back at Camila. Then, she flips them around, so she’s pinning Camila against the wall of the shower. “I like this way better. Can I make you feel good, babe?”

Camila kisses Lauren’s neck. “You’re not the top in this relationship.”

“I can be sometimes, though,” Lauren plays with Camila’s hand. “If you want me to be right now. I will.”

“You’d do that for me?” Camila asks, smiling when Lauren meets her eyes again. Twice in one day. “Really?”

“Yes,” Lauren kisses her. “If you want.”

“Okay,” Camila murmurs against her. “Yeah. Okay.”

Lauren grins. “Perfect.”

Camila expects kisses. She expects Lauren to take her time, to build up to the moment, but she lets out a loud gasp when Lauren teases her entrance with two fingers and a mischievous smile. “You are… ineffable.”

Lauren hums. “Got to be fast. My mom is downstairs and the rest of my family are home soon. I guess you can be loud anyway, because the shower will muffle it a little.”

“Mhm,” Camila grinds against Lauren a little, because her girlfriend is still teasing, and if they need to be fast, then she’s going to try her best. “You make me crazy.”

Lauren sucks on the skin of her collarbone, and pushes two fingers inside her, not moving them fast enough at all. When her girlfriend pulls away, leaving a red mark on Camila’s collar, she moves down a little, sucking on Camila’s tits. Camila really wasn’t expecting that – she wasn’t expecting _any of this_ – and she lets out a loud gasp as Lauren’s fingers start moving faster inside her.

Lauren curls her fingers in the right place, and Camila’s hands shoot up to wrap around her girlfriend’s waist, her fingers digging into Lauren’s back. She _swears_ that she hears Lauren laughing at her reaction, and usually she’d let out a smart remark or two, but she doesn’t know if she can get any words out.

Turns out, she can, because Lauren’s thumb presses down on her clit, and before she can help it, Camila lets out a loud, “ _Fuck_.”

“ _Shhh_ ,” Lauren is quick to tell her, “we’re not alone.”

“Baby,” Camila murmurs, “ _fuck_ , keep going.”

Lauren frowns at her. “What did you think I was going to do, stop? No.”

“Not the time to be cute, Laur,” Camila forces out, screwing her eyes shut. She knows she’s getting close already, and Lauren isn’t exactly helping, because the little glint Camila had seen in her green eyes makes the younger Latina think that she definitely knows what she’s doing.

When Lauren adds another finger, Camila has to bite into Lauren’s shoulder to stop herself from crying out. Lauren’s free hand squeezes her ass, and Camila’s fingernails dig into Lauren’s back as her girlfriend curls her fingers again, and Camila falls apart in her arms, the hot water from the showerhead beating down on them both.

“Fuck,” Camila says through short bursts of breath. “Lauren, oh my god. Where did that come from?”

“It came from me.” Lauren replies. “I stimulated you, until you reached a climax.”

Camila wants to laugh, because how the _fuck_ is Lauren so cute and so hot at the same time. “I love you so much.”

“Yes,” Lauren rocks on her heels, holding out the conditioner. “Finish doing my hair now, please?”

Camila takes the conditioner with a smile.


	76. Chapter 76

When Lauren bursts into her room without warning, Camila is more than a little confused. She sits up, feeling a little underdressed, since she’s in her PJs and hasn’t exactly left her bed yet, but she doesn’t care as much when she sees Lauren’s distressed expression.

“Are you okay, Laur?” Camila asks when Lauren throws her bomber jacket on the ground and stares at it angrily.

Lauren huffs, and pulls off the t-shirt she’s wearing, and then unbuttons her jeans and strips them off, tossing them all in a messy pile and glaring at it. Then, she pulls her underwear off, drops them on the ground, and with a loud sigh, climbs into bed next to Camila, cuddling up to her and pulling the blankets over them.

“Um…” Camila frowns when Lauren stays silent. “Not that I don’t love the strip tease, but what are you doing here? We didn’t plan to meet today.”

Lauren whines and cuddles up to her, her eyes screwed shut. Camila catches on to what’s happening pretty quickly.

“Are you nonverbal, baby?” Camila asks, and Lauren finally nods in response. Camila wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist, and with one hand, makes sure to give her girlfriend tummy rubs. “Okay. Did you go into sensory overload?”

When Lauren shakes her head, Camila frowns. She doesn’t know what could’ve made Lauren upset. “Are you stressed?”

At that, Lauren nods, and her grip on Camila tightens. Camila wonders what Lauren could be stressed about, because it’s not like her girlfriend got like this around exam season, when Camila was constantly freaking out. Lauren was the level headed one. Lauren had been calm the whole time they were studying together, telling Camila, ‘ _I know I’m going to get good grades, I’m smart, I have a 5.0 GPA, so I don’t need to worry’._

With no exams, and it being summer, and the fact they have no responsibilities at the moment, Camila isn’t entirely sure what could be wrong, and Lauren can’t tell her.

She feels Lauren’s cool fingers against hers, and instead of holding her hand, Lauren plays with her fingers, humming to herself, her eyes still closed. Camila spots Nala on the floor, in the messy pile Lauren had tossed her clothes in, and leans down to get her. She hears Lauren’s whine in protest as she moves away to get the stuffed lion, but when Camila cuddles up to her again, and presses Nala into her arms, Lauren’s eyes open and she beams down at her lion.

Camila kisses Lauren’s forehead and smiles. “When you can talk, let me know what’s wrong, okay? We can fix it together. Just focus on calming down for now.”

Lauren stays close to Camila, and the younger Latina scrolls through her Tumblr dashboard with one hand, and give Lauren tummy rubs with the other. After almost an hour of sitting in almost silence – Camila makes sure to hum along to some songs, mostly a few of her own she’d written, because she knows it makes Lauren calm – Lauren finally shifts and detaches herself from Camila’s side.

Camila watches as Lauren gently sets Nala down on one of her pillows, pats the lion on the head, and looks over at Camila with wide eyes. Lauren doesn’t meet her gaze, and opts to stare at her neck. “I am upset.”

“Well, yeah,” Camila answers, “I figured. What upset you?”

Lauren collapses into Camila’s arms again with a loud sigh. “I don’t- I don’t think I want to go to college.”

Camila blinks at her in shock. “Lauren… but like, you- you’ve been so excited to go and study animals. What’s changed?”

“ _Exactly!_ ” Lauren raises her voice and taps rapidly against her knees with her palms. “That’s why.”

Camila frowns. “You don’t want to study animals anymore? Then just… do art.”

“No, not that,” Lauren cuts herself off with a long hum, but continues, “I like lions. But- but… I don’t want it to be different.”

“Oh.” Camila finally thinks she understands, and after signalling to her girlfriend that she’s going to touch her, takes Lauren’s hand and gives it a small squeeze. “Baby, we talked about this ages ago. Yes, things are going to change. And it’ll be hard on you at first, and it’ll take a while for you to get settled. But after that, it’ll get easier.”

“I don’t _want_ anything to change,” Lauren argues, frowning. “It’s bad. It’s not routine and everything will be _wrong_ and I don’t like it.”

“Some change can be good, Lo.” Camila points out. “And this change is us starting our lives together. That’s pretty good to me.”

“Yes, I want a life with you, but- it’s just-” Lauren sighs. “Can’t I just stay in Miami?”

“If that’s what you want, I won’t stop you,” Camila replies. “But only if it’s what you want. What you really, truly want. Not because you’re afraid to take that next step into life because you’re afraid and you don’t like change. Because Laur, I’m scared too. But I know that if I have you… maybe things will be alright.”

Lauren stares at her for a moment and sighs. “I won’t- I won’t back out of college. Because I’m smart, and I love learning. But I’m really worried. What if I can’t- can’t function? Because everything is changing at once and it’s just-”

Sensing that Lauren is getting herself worked up again, Camila squeezes her hand again and smiles. “We’ll take it one step at a time. Think of it like… like your new class schedule each year at school. Because technically it is.”

“Well… kind of,” Lauren agrees with her, “but we won’t be here. I won’t have my parents or my siblings. Just you.”

Camila laughs and decides to crack a few jokes to ease the tension. “Should I be offended? _Just_ me? Damn, Lo, thought you loved me.”

“I do love you,” Lauren doesn’t pick up on her sarcastic tone. “You are one of my favourite people. But I have always had my family, so I’m not sure how I’ll manage without them being close to me.”

“I’ve told you, babe,” Camila assures her, “I’ll be there to help with whatever you need. I’ll make sure I stick with you no matter what. I’ll be like a little leech. Or a barnacle. Or… I don’t know. Whatever comparison you like.”

Lauren hums. “Promise?”

“I promise,” Camila pulls Lauren in for a quick kiss. “Do you want to go and get ice cream? That’ll take your mind off how upset you are.”

Lauren looks down at her messy pile of clothes and cringes. “Why did you mess them up?”

“You did that yourself, actually,” Camila laughs. “You threw them on the ground like they’d just insulted you. It was kind of amusing until I realised you were upset.”

“Oh,” Lauren taps on her leg. “I don’t like wearing clothes when I’m upset. My skin is very sensitive, and lots of clothes aren’t comfy. I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable by getting naked without- without your consent.”

Camila snorts with laughter. “Lauren, you always have my consent to get naked. Seriously. It’s kind of… a really fucking nice sight.”

Lauren shifts as Camila’s eyes rake over her body. “Okay. Are you looking at me in a sexual way, or just looking?”

Camila wants to laugh again. “Just looking, Lo. You’re really beautiful.”

Lauren hums, and then smiles a little, even if it is kind of weak. “Thank you, Camz. I think you are the most beautiful girl in the world. Even right now, when you kind of smell a little.”

“Thanks for the brutal honesty, Laur,” Camila answers, not at all offended by how blunt her girlfriend is. “I skipped my shower last night because it got too late without me realising, and I was _going_ to shower after I checked Tumblr, but you came over, so…”

“Well, I don’t want to get ice cream with you if you’re all smelly,” Lauren tells her, and for a second, Camila thinks she’s joking, but Lauren doesn’t immediately laugh and say ‘ _It’s a joke, get it?’_ after, and she realises she’s being serious. “Go and shower, please. Can I buy you a triple scoop strawberry cone?”

“Only if I can buy you one,” Camila retorts, “and you weren’t complaining about my smell when you were all cuddled up to me for the past hour.”

“That’s because I was nonverbal. Also sad,” Lauren says, patting on her leg. “Would you like me to get dressed?”

“Unless you’re planning on going to the ice cream parlour completely naked, then yes, I’d recommend you put your clothes back on,” Camila says, and when Lauren goes to reach for her clothes, Camila pulls her back with a smirk. “Didn’t say right _now_ though.”

Lauren blinks at her. “Well, when do you want me to- _oh,”_

Camila cuts Lauren off with a kiss, her arms wrapping around her girlfriend’s bare waist. After a few minutes of kissing, Lauren still looking a little down, Camila pulls away and smiles. “Wait here. I’ll have a quick shower and then we’ll go get ice cream.”

“You want me to wait here?” Lauren asks. “Like… don’t move?”

Camila laughs. “You can move, Lolo. Just make sure you get dressed if you’re going to go downstairs or something. I don’t think my parents or Sofi would like to see you naked.”

“Okay.” Lauren smiles at her. “Have fun making yourself less smelly.”

“Less smelly implies I’m smelly usually,” Camila points out with a laugh. “And before you talk about how you didn’t mean to imply things, I’m joking, and-”

Lauren smiles innocently. “I meant to imply that. I am glad I managed it.”

Camila sends Lauren a teasing glare and messes up her girlfriends hair as she gets up to go shower. “You’re lucky you’re so cute, Lolo lion. Otherwise I’d have to get revenge on you for that.”

“Yes,” Lauren hums. “I am cute. Please go and shower now.”

Camila grabs her fresh clothes and walks towards her bathroom, rolling her eyes at Lauren as she goes.

-

“I am glad I’m spending time with you today,” Lauren says as she licks her ice cream. “I love you.”

Camila looks over with a smirk. “Are you talking to the ice cream or me?”

After a few moments, Lauren hums. “My ice cream.”

“Of course,” Camila laughs. “Should’ve realised.”

“I was only joking,” Lauren smiles to herself, “I really was talking to you. But you thought I wasn’t, so I got you. I pranked you good.”

 _How the hell did I land the cutest girl in existence_? Camila thinks as she eats her ice cream. She’d gone with a single vanilla cone, and while Lauren was disappointed with her decision, calling her _boring_ , Camila had compromised and ordered sprinkles.

“Can I play the claw machine?”

Camila looks up in surprise and catches Lauren gazing over at one of the claw machines. “Um… if you want. It’s your money you’d be wasting, Laur.”

“I wouldn’t waste it, because I’m going to win you something.” Lauren stares over at it, determined. “It will make me happy to win something for you.”

“You know they’re a scam, right?” Camila asks her. “I appreciate the gesture and all, but… I think the claws are programmed to be shitty at picking up the prizes.”

“I am going to win you something.” Lauren pats on her leg. “I’m smart, Camz. I’ll figure it out.”

Knowing that when Lauren is set on something, she can’t be swayed, the younger Latina merely smiles and shrugs. “Go for it, then.”

Lauren quickly finishes off her ice cream, grabs her wallet from Camila’s bag, and runs across the street to play the claw game. Camila stays put at their table at the ice cream parlour, watching as Lauren starts to play the claw machine. Eventually, when Lauren keeps losing, Camila smirks a little, because she’d told Lauren that claw machines are scams.

She turns back to her ice cream with a grin, and not five seconds later, Lauren sits down at the table, holding out a stuffed Pikachu. “I won you something.”

Camila’s smirk is wiped off her face entirely. “But you were losing!”

“Yes, and then I won,” Lauren smiles, “do you like him? Are you going to name him? Personally, I think we should keep calling him Pikachu. That’s what I did with all my Pokémon in Pokémon GO, because I like them having the correct names. But that’s yours, so… it’s up to you.”

“How the fuck did you win?” Camila looks over at the claw machine – a kid around Sofi’s age is playing it, and the claw drops his prize just as he’s about to win. “Those things are rigged.”

“Yes, but I’m smart,” Lauren says, still holding out the Pikachu. “Take him, my arms are getting tired.”

Camila takes the stuffed Pikachu with a frown. “How’d you win?”

“I told you, I’m smart,” Lauren smiles, and when Camila’s frown stays fixed, she elaborates. “I timed it. Because those things are on a timer. I watched other people play while we were eating and figured out the rhythm. Of course, it randomises it a little, so I had to take that into account. That’s why I lost the first few times. But then it worked for me because I timed it.”

“Fuck, okay, Einstein,” Camila answers. “Well… thank you for the Pikachu, Lolo lion.”

“I was hoping there’d be _Lion King_ prizes, but it was just Pokémon.” Lauren absently replies. “That’s okay though. I like Pokémon, I watched the show when I was little. I don’t think I understood it, but it was fun because I thought Charmander was cute. Then he turned into Charmeleon and was a little asshole for a while.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Camila shrugs, “I never really got into that. I just watched Barbie and other girly stuff. Whatever Sandra and Marielle were watching. I don’t know what I watched when I was really little, though.”

“I only watched _The Lion King_ when I was really little,” Lauren replies, kicking her legs back and forth. “I like lions. My mami didn’t like it when I watched it so much, she called it an obsession, but I don’t think it’s an _obsession_.”

Camila would agree with Clara on that, but she’s not about to voice her opinion to Lauren. “I can’t really watch things over and over. They get boring.”

“I can’t either, but I can with _The Lion King_ , because it is a cinematic masterpiece,” Lauren smiles to herself. “I might get mad at my mami so she’ll buy me more _Lion King_ things.”

Camila snorts. “Get mad at her?”

“When I was little and she told me she wished I was never born, she bought me a Simba to apologise, and that’s what made me talk to her again, because I didn’t talk to her for a month.” Lauren recounts. Camila flinches at the _wished I was never born_ , because if Lauren was never born, she wouldn’t be happy. She wouldn’t have a soulmate if Lauren didn’t exist.

“ _So_ ,” Lauren keeps going and Camila snaps out of that train of thought, “if I don’t talk to her for a month, maybe she’ll buy me _Lion King_ things.”

“So you’re going to ignore your mom for a month when she did nothing wrong,” Camila replies, “to get _Lion King_ merch.”

Lauren deflates a little. “Yes, that’s a bad plan. She has to do something wrong first. I’ll do something really bad and then she’ll shout and then I’ll get presents when she feels bad.”

“Um, Lauren,” Camila laughs, “you got away with adopting a fucking _puppy_. Your mom didn’t even punish you and-”

“Yes she did!” Lauren stares at Camila like she’s grown another head. “She said I couldn’t watch _The Lion King_ for two weeks! That’s the worst punishment I could get.”

“Fine, by every other human being in the world’s standards, you didn’t get punished,” Camila replies. “Besides, you wormed your way out of that punishment anyway. You conveniently decided that it only meant the first movie.”

Lauren scoffs. “It _did_ only mean the-”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Camila cuts in before Lauren can argue, “what I’m trying to say is, you pretty much got away with adopting a puppy and your mom didn’t shout at you. So I don’t think your plan will work. Maybe try asking her for some _Lion King_ merch you like. You know, like anyone else would do?”

Lauren shrugs. “I guess I could do that, yes.”

Camila smiles and reaches across the table, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “At least you got to keep Leo.”

“Oh, yes, I love Leo very much,” Lauren comments with a smile. “Did you see the photo I put on Instagram of him? And the video of him and Dash?”

“Laur,” Camila replies, “You put like eight hundred pictures of Leo on your Instagram story. You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“He’s cute,” Lauren shrugs, is if that justifies the photo spam. “Like me.”

“Well, that I can agree on,” Camila smiles. “You’re the cutest girl in the world, and we’re going to take New York by storm. Okay?”

After a few moments of thought, Lauren hums in reply. “Yes. We will be fine. I’ll be fine.”

“Exactly,” Camila smiles, happy she’s gotten through to her girlfriend, “I can’t wait to get there. I’m excited to live with you and just… I don’t know… be like, real adults. Well, _you’ll_ be the adult, since you turn twenty next year. I’m just a kid.”

“Our relationship was technically illegal for a little while. When I was eighteen and you were seventeen.” Lauren absently responds. “Because I was an adult and you were a minor.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like _that_.” Camila points out. “That law is for creepy old people who prey on kids.”

“That’s why I said technically.” Lauren replies, humming. “Buy me another ice cream? It’s only fair, since I won you your Pikachu.”

Camila rolls her eyes, because she’d expected this. She knows Lauren like the back of her hand, and if she can get a free ice cream out of someone, she will.

After a few cute, innocent smiles from Lauren, she gets up and goes to order another triple scoop strawberry cone for her girlfriend.

But she’s _not_ whipped. Really. She’s not.

As she looks back to her girlfriend while she waits for the guy to scoop the ice cream, she catches Lauren’s gaze for a second before the older Latina looks away. She sees Lauren smiling, and she can’t help but smile herself.

Okay, maybe she _is_ whipped after all. Not that she minds.


	77. Chapter 77

“Why did I suggest this?” Camila asks herself, staring at the storefront before her. “I have _no_ idea what we’re doing. We should just go home. Go home and nap and ask our parents to do this stuff for us.”

“Camz,” Lauren says, rocking on her heels, “we’re adults. We can do this ourselves. Besides, I have a list.”

“You have… a list?” Camila pauses and looks over at Lauren, who is humming to herself and staring down at her phone. “You know what we’re getting?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “I mean, I obviously wrote down the essentials, like things we’ll one hundred percent need for our apartment. But also other things, stuff that might not be so obvious. Things that’ll make our apartment a _home_.”

After a few moments of silence, Camila beams. “God, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Lauren says, tapping her hand against her thigh, “Shall we go and look around? Since it’s mostly furnished, we won’t need any big things. My mom already bought us some cutlery, so that’s already crossed off the list.”

Lauren holds out her phone in Camila’s direction, and the younger Latina looks through the list. She snorts when she reads _house plants_. Knowing Camila, they’ll be dead within a week.

“You’ve already checked a bunch of stuff off,” Camila points out. “Like, the major stuff, anyways.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “my parents- um, they have spares of things that we can take. And I already have all of Dash and Leo’s things, I just need to pack them. It’s mostly just homey things we need. Like- um, like cute cushions for the couch. And a nice bedspread.”

“And house plants, apparently,” Camila says with a snort. “You realise we’ll just be killing them, right?”

“No,” Lauren pouts. “I’m responsible.”

“You’re also easily distracted sometimes.” Camila points out. “Like… a new _Lion King_ thing will happen and suddenly that’s all you’re focused on for weeks.”

Lauren blushes, but doesn’t argue with her. “That’s because _The Lion King_ is one of my special interests. Just like lions in general are. And I’m going to become a zookeeper, but more like a lion trainer, so I can look after them, since you won’t let me have one as a pet.”

“I love you and all, Laur,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand, “but like, I wouldn’t chance getting mauled by a lion for you.”

“You just don’t turn your back on it,” Lauren mutters, and she says something that sounds a lot like _stupid head_ under her breath, and Camila gracefully ignores her. “You know, I watch a lot of Big Cat videos on YouTube. Can I show you when we get back to my house?”

“Of course.” Camila answers, as they walk into a store, “keep your phone out so I know what to look for in here.”

Lauren hums to herself for a little while, before she announces, “You don’t really like shopping, do you?”

“I like shopping when there’s something I want to buy for myself,” Camila says, “like clothes. Or pizza. And I know this stuff is for us too, but it’s like… boring stuff. You know?”

Lauren bobs her head in agreement. “I don’t like shopping either, but only because it’s too loud most of the time. Though, this store is nice and quiet. I guess loud kids don’t come into places like this.”

Camila hums, scanning down the list of things again. Honestly, house plants are the most exciting thing on there.

“You know what?” Camila announces as she pulls Lauren towards the bedding section of the store. “Tell me a story. That’ll make this go quicker.”

“A story?” Lauren frowns to herself, tapping out a pattern against one of the shelves. “I like this sound. It echoes. Anyways, yes, what kind of story would you like to hear?”

“Don’t know,” Camila answers, and Lauren scowls, muttering something that sounds a lot like _that doesn’t help_. “Any kind of story. Just something that’ll keep me interested.”

“Like…” Lauren trails off, “a made up one? Because I’m not- I’m not really good at imagining things that haven’t happened. Unless it’s about my future, which _will_ happen. But I can’t- I can’t really make up a world. Like fantasy. Because I get confused, like- like, I start thinking about _every_ single world and then my stories will get jumbled.”

“A real one, then,” Camila shrugs, already wanting to scratch out her eyes from boredom. Who needs a fucking duvet cover anyways? Lauren isn’t a fan of new things, so what’s the point in them even doing all of this.

Really, it’s a job for the parents, Camila decides. She’s only a kid, anyways. Eighteen is still young. She has the rest of her life to do all of this boring junk.

So, she turns to Lauren with a grin. “Fuck shopping. We’re doing something else.”

“But- but we need this stuff for college,” Lauren points out, rocking on her heels. “For- for our apartment. To make it homey.”

“That sounds like a parent problem,” Camila says, taking Lauren’s hand again. “Come on, let’s go.”

Lauren doesn’t budge. “We promised our parents we’d get some stuff today. So- um… we should stay here and-”

Camila smirks. “I’ll buy you ice cream.”

Lauren looks like she’s just hit the biggest dilemma of her life. She rocks on her heels, glancing around the store, before eventually she bites down on her bottom lip and shakes her head. “No, Camz. We should stay here.”

“Damn,” Camila’s face falls. “I thought that’d make you cave.”

“We… we won’t do _all_ of it today.” Lauren eventually responds. “We can… we can do some of it… and then… make our parents do the rest.”

Camila smiles. “That’s the spirit. Make your parents do everything for you. If my mom says no, I’ll just cry. That always works.”

“I’ll still tell you a story, though,” Lauren assures her. “That’ll make the time we spend here go quick, won’t it? That’s what you wanted.”

“Okay, Lo,” Camila nods, “tell me any story you want.”

_When Lauren’s bedroom light flicks on, she cringes at the sudden brightness. She hates it when her mom does that, and she’s told Clara what seems like a million times to wake her up first, because her eyes are sensitive to light as it is, but her mom never listens._

_Clara never seems to listen to anything Lauren says._

_Lauren sits up groggily, rubbing at her eyes as her mom speaks to her, not registering the words coming from her mouth. “Excuse me?”_

_Clara lets out a long sigh, and Lauren doesn’t know what that means. “I said, you need to be ready as quickly as possible. I let you sleep in because you never put much effort into how you look, but hurry. You don’t want to be late for your first day of junior year.”_

_Lauren sighs. She’d forgotten about that, and she really doesn’t want to go back to school. She’d only just managed to recover from what had happened at the end of the last school year, when she’d had to take the rest of it off because she just couldn’t go back._

_She doesn’t want to see Luis again, because he made people be even meaner to her, by spreading lies. Lauren doesn’t know why nobody believes her when she tells the truth, and she’s so scared to go back. She really doesn’t want to._

_Lauren drags herself out of bed, because she knows her mami will get mad at her if she argues. She’d told Lauren that she was sick of her whining about school, and that she’s just got to ignore people if they’re mean, so she decides to do that._

_She throws on her favourite sweater – it’s the comfiest, and the sleeves are long so she can stim with them – and a pair of jeans, and makes her way down to breakfast. Her papi is cooking bacon, and she smiles at him, not meeting his gaze as he offers her a plate. She takes it, wolfing down a few rashers, scrambled egg and toast, before she pulls her shoes on, double checks she has everything in her bag, and follows her mami, brother and sister out of the car._

_Clara drops Taylor off at the middle school first, sending her off with a smile. When they pull up at the high school, Chris leaves without so much as a goodbye – it’s his first day of freshman year, so Lauren thinks he’s probably excited – and when Lauren goes to get out, Clara stops her._

_“I can’t have you calling me at work today, Lauren.” Clara says, and Lauren frowns to herself. She wasn’t planning on calling her mami for anything. “If anything happens, you need to call your papi. Not me.”_

_“Oh,” Lauren looks down at her feet and nods. “Okay. I- I promise I’ll call him instead.”_

_“Good. Now go,” Clara nods to the car door, “have a good first day.”_

_“Yes,” Lauren murmurs to herself, “I love you, mami.”_

_“Love you too.” Clara responds, sending Lauren a tentative smile as she leaves the car. Lauren doesn’t smile back, and pulls her backpack onto her shoulders, turning towards the school building._

_She’s a little nervous about being back today, so she’d brought Nala in her backpack just in case. She knows that people will make fun of her about Nala, so she plans to only take her out if she needs her, or if she’s in the art classroom with her friends._

_Lauren smiles when she thinks about her friends, and decides to go to the art room and check if they’re there. If they’re not, then she’ll be able to get some sketching done before homeroom. She hopes she has art on Wednesdays again, because that’s her art day, and she doesn’t like changes when it comes to her schedule._

_Normally, Lauren would dislike summer and the way it throws off her routine, but this year, she was grateful for it. It gave her three months away from school, and away from bad people like Luis and his friends. She didn’t have to deal with them for three whole months, and she got to see her friends whenever she wanted and always have Nala with her._

_Even though Lauren loves to learn, she really hates school. It’s not even that she’s bullied, really. It’s that people look at her funny and talk to her like she’s a child or act like she’s stupid, which she’s not, because she has a 5.0 GPA, and she’s definitely smarter than everyone else there put together._

_She doesn’t encounter anyone on her way to the empty art classroom, and when she settles down in her usual seat, she relaxes. She digs into her backpack, pulling out Nala, her sketchbook and her best pencils, and sets to work on a drawing of a male lion from a documentary she’d watched the other day._

_She’s shading in its mane when she hears a familiar voice._

_“Hey, Ralph,” Dinah grins at her, sitting down opposite her. “We thought you’d be in here. Why didn’t you text the group chat back about a ride this morning?”_

_“My mami is coming this way anyways, since she has to drop Chris off,” Lauren tells her friend. “It’s his first day. Where are Ally and Mani?”_

_“They’re on their way. Ally wanted a snack from the cafeteria and Normani went with her to get a drink.” Dinah explains. “Are you feeling better about this year now that you’re here?”_

_“No,” Lauren answers, “I don’t like school. But I will be fine.”_

_Dinah sends her a comforting smile. “Yeah. And don’t worry, nobody will try anything like Luis did. Mani and I showed everyone what would happen if they did.”_

_Lauren acknowledges this, but she doesn’t want to talk about it, so she turns back to her drawing, disinterested with the conversation._

_After a few minutes, Normani and Ally arrive, Ally offering Lauren half of her toast. Lauren declines, and is more interested in something else. “Mani. May I sketch you? Not right now, but… for later. When I finish my lion.”_

_“Of course, Lo,” Normani smiles, “you don’t need to ask.”_

_Lauren shakes her head, because she does need to ask, and she’s not sure Normani understands. “No, I’d like- I’d like it to be a real sketch. Where you pose for me and everything. Is that okay?”_

_Normani nods. “Yeah.”_

_“Are you sure?” Lauren asks. “Because- um, it’ll take a lot of time, and-”_

_“Lauren,” Normani interrupts her, holding out her hand. Lauren takes it apprehensively. “I’ll make the time for you. Promise.”_

_Lauren smiles to herself, happy that her best friend is as amazing as Normani. “Thank you, Mani.”_

_Normani smiles at her, and turns to ask Dinah about something to do with their dance classes, but Lauren doesn’t care about that, so she lets go of Normani’s hand and plays with Nala, who is on her lap. She smiles at her stuffed lion. She knows that Nala isn’t real, even though when she was little she thought she was, but it’s still comforting that she has a friend who’s with her all the time._

_“Ally,” Lauren absently asks, “will you walk me to homeroom?”_

_“Now?” Ally asks, and Lauren nods, because she wants to avoid crowds, and she’d like to have company when she walks past the supply closet that Luis had locked her in. “Okay.”_

_Lauren makes sure that Nala, her sketchbook and pencils are safely in her bag, and then she turns towards the door, Ally following behind._

_Normani calls her back. “Lo. Come here.”_

_Lauren turns back to Normani, rocking on her heels. “Yes?”_

_“Give me and Dinah a hug, damn,” Normani laughs, and Lauren relaxes into Normani’s arms. It’s not that awkward for her to hug Normani, Dinah or Ally – she’s used to them by now._

_After hugging her friends goodbye, Lauren lets Ally lead her to homeroom, keeping her gaze straight ahead when she walks past the supply closet, but also a tight grip on Ally’s hand._

_Ally leaves her outside of homeroom, and when she walks into the usual classroom, she’s a little stunned that it’s not empty. There’s a girl in there, one she’s never seen before, a petite brunette who is busy reading a book. Lauren gets a tiny sense of familiarity, but shakes it off, because she knows she hasn’t seen this girl before. Right?_

_When Lauren steps closer to get to her usual desk, she notices the girl’s beauty. The brunette is listening to music, and reading through_ To Kill A Mockingbird _, which is Lauren’s favourite novel. She has soft, chocolate brown eyes, though they’re not as warm as her friends’. Her lips look soft and plump, and Lauren thinks about kissing them before she realises what she’s doing, because she doesn’t like the idea of kissing a stranger._

_Lauren really likes the girl’s hair. It looks so soft, the kind of soft Lauren likes to stim with, and that makes her happy, but she knows she can’t compliment a girl on having stimmy hair. She probably wouldn’t know what that meant, and she’d look at Lauren weirdly, and Lauren hates that._

_Lauren shakes her head and makes her way to her usual desk, sitting down and ignoring stimmy hair girl. She taps on her table, and slowly, the room starts to fill, until the people she shares homeroom with are all there._

_Timetables are handed out, and Lauren looks through her new one, scowling about a few things, and knowing that she’s going to have to talk to Miss Lovato, the counsellor, about the new changes. That always makes her feel slightly better._

_The bell rings, and Lauren heads to her first class alone, humming to herself in the loud corridors, trying her best to stay distracted. She sees stimmy hair girl talking to Luis, and Lauren’s stomach drops, but at the same time, her heart soars, because the girl looks really beautiful. She passes them, and hears that the girl is only asking for directions, and Lauren smiles a little. She doesn’t want her to make friends with Luis._

_Lauren wants to make friends with her, but she knows that won’t happen, because she’s too nervous to approach anyone. She knows what will happen – she’ll talk, and do something they think is weird, and then they’ll look at her weirdly and call her the ‘f’ word. Or even worse, the ‘r’ word._

_Her first class has Normani in it, and she’s happy, because she hates the classes where she’s alone. She always ends up left by herself to do partner work. It’s okay, because she’s smart, and at most times she can handle it, since she has a 5.0 GPA, but she’d like to be picked by someone, at least once._

_She’s happy most of the morning periods, since almost all of her classes have one of her friends in, and the only one that doesn’t has stimmy hair girl in, and Lauren has decided that she likes to look at her. She’s very pretty, and it makes her stomach feel weird, but she’s okay with it._

_Lunchtime finally arrives, and Lauren is thankful that their class is let out five minutes early, so she beats the rush in the corridors. She makes her way to the art classroom, humming happily, walking straight in even though there’s a class of freshmen in there. Lauren spots Chris, and smiles at her brother. He doesn’t smile back, or meet her gaze at all, but Lauren shrugs. He probably didn’t see her._

_The class clears out, and Lauren takes her usual seat, opening up her sketchbook and continuing on her lion. She’s not far from finishing, and continues sketching through Normani and Ally’s arrivals five minutes later._

_“Where’s Dinah?” Normani asks, and it takes Lauren a few seconds to realise she’s talking to her._

_“Oh,” Lauren shrugs, not looking up from her sketchbook. “I don’t know.”_

_“Never mind,” Ally replies, “she’s coming in now.”_

_Lauren looks up to see if Ally is right, and freezes when she sees Dinah with stimmy hair girl following behind her. Lauren looks down at the table, but takes a subtle glance upward when she hears two chairs being pulled out, and her heart stops, because stimmy hair girl is even prettier up close._

_She abandons her lion drawing for now, flipping over to a clear page in her sketchbook, and gets out her coloured pencils. She’s going to sketch stimmy hair girl’s eyes, because she really, really likes them. She adores the way they seem to turn a deep amber in the sunlight, and thinks it’s beautiful, and Lauren believes that beauty should be captured in art._

_She gets to work, hearing Dinah say, “Guys, this is Camila. Camila, this is Ally, Normani and Lauren.”_

_She doesn’t bother looking up, because it’s really important that she finishes her sketch while the image is still fresh in her memory, and she doesn’t want stimmy hair girl –_ Camila – _to think she’s weird for staring at her._

_She vaguely follows the girls’ conversation, but she doesn’t bother inputting anything, since she doesn’t have anything to say right now._

_She nearly drops her pencil when she hears Camila say, “So, you’re Lauren, right?” and Lauren feels her eyes widen. She doesn’t know what to say, and she’s been caught off guard completely. She hasn’t had time to prepare what to say so she sounds normal, so Camila won’t know she’s weird and different and_ bad _._

_Lauren unfreezes, and decides to keep as quiet as she can. “Hello.”_

_She goes back to working on her sketch, but not for long. Dinah talks to her. “Lo?”_

_For a moment, Lauren is relieved. She can talk to Dinah, because she knows Dinah, and knows how talking to her works. “Yeah?”_

_“Why don’t you tell Camila something about yourself?”_

_Lauren wants to cry at Dinah’s question. She doesn’t know Camila, and she doesn’t know how talking to her works. All she knows is that Camila has pretty eyes and nice, stimmy hair._

_She stutters a little when she replies. “Uh… I like art.”_

_She tunes out again, not furthering the conversation, because she doesn’t know how to talk to Camila, and goes back to her drawing, though she does pay attention to the girls’ conversation._

_When she hears Camila say she likes to read, Lauren gasps, but flushes embarrassedly when she realises she’d made a noise. She looks down, not wanting to draw attention to herself, but when Dinah insults the library, Lauren feels like she can say something, because she knows that Camila likes to read, too._

_“I like the library.”_

_The girls start bickering about something else, Camila fitting in perfectly, and Lauren feels like the outsider around her friends for the first time since she was eight. She doesn’t blame Camila for it; Lauren blames herself, because she doesn’t know how to insert herself into the conversation, and right now she wishes more than anything she was neurotypical, so she could swoop in and impress Camila with a funny joke._

_She doesn’t know why she wants to impress Camila, but she does. And right now, she wishes she wasn’t autistic, because she knows that Camila won’t like it if she is, and that won’t impress her._

_Lauren needs to impress Camila, and she decides that she’s not going to tell her. Camila doesn’t need to know._

_Lauren jumps when Camila addresses her again. “That’s a really nice drawing. You’ve very talented.”_

_Lauren’s insides squirm at Camila’s compliment, and she’s happy, because if Camila is complimenting her, that means she likes her, and that means they’re friends. “Thank you.”_

_Dinah starts comparing Camila’s timetable to all of theirs, and Lauren notes that they have the same music and literature class, and smiles to herself. She has literature later today, and she was dreading it, because none of her friends shared that class with her, but now she_ does _have a friend there._

_Lauren hums happily when she hears Camila say she appreciates how welcoming most people have been. She’s happy about that, because it means she’s more welcoming than Luis is, and that means that Camila thinks she’s better than him._

_When it gets to five minutes before the bell, Lauren heads to her next class, excited for literature later. In fact, she’s so excited that she asks her math teacher if she can be excused five minutes early, and uses busy corridors as an excuse. As the teachers know about her autism, she allows it, and Lauren gets to literature early enough to ask her next teacher a favour._

_“Um,” Lauren rocks on her heels in front of his desk, “I- I would like to sit next to my new friend, Camila. Can you make sure she sits with me, please?”_

_He smiles at her. “Of course. I’ll let her know when she comes in.”_

_Lauren beams, and chooses a desk towards the front of the classroom, smiling to herself. She taps on the desk, and waits patiently for Camila to arrive. Lauren is ecstatic when the teacher does as he said he would, and directed Camila over to Lauren._

_When Camila sits down, Lauren’s stomach squirms again. Camila greets her, and Lauren’s heart soars. “Hi, Lauren.”_

_Lauren keeps tapping on the desk, a little faster due to excitement, but also nerves. “Hello.”_

_“So…” Camila looks around, and then Lauren feels her stare on her again, “do you like literature as much as you like art?”_

_Lauren is too busy thinking about how Camila remembered she likes art to reply, so it takes her a few moments. “No.”_

_Camila hums. “Do you like art more?”_

_“Yes,” Lauren replies, playing with her fingers. Her nerves are starting to get to her now, and she’s not sure what to say to further the conversation in a way a neurotypical would, so she doesn’t say anything._

_Camila sighs, and starts writing something down on her notepad, so Lauren takes this opportunity to look at her properly. She’s so beautiful, both from afar and up close, and that makes Lauren smile, because Camila is beautiful both ways, inside and out._

_She’s scanning over the girl’s hairline, noticing a little mole right at the peak, when Camila turns and looks her right in the eye. Lauren looks away, feeling uncomfortable and awkward and exposed. She hates it when people look her in the eye, and they’re only allowed to if she really trusts them. So far the only people she lets do it are Normani, Dinah, Ally, and her late grandmother, Angelica._

_When people look her in the eye, Lauren feels naked, vulnerable, like all her defences are being stripped away and that the person can see everything she’s thinking. She hates it, because her thoughts are hers._

_Camila looking her in the eye had thrown her off so much that she’s exceptionally nervous, so when the bell rings, she packs her things and sprints out of the classroom, thankful that Ally has offered her a ride._

_On the drive home, Lauren gushes about Camila. “I really like her. I’m happy we’re friends. I think- I think I’m going to draw her. Do you think one day she’d let me stim with her hair? It looks really soft and stimmy.”_

_“Well, I mean,” Normani glances at Dinah before proceeding, “asking her that would involve her knowing you’re autistic.”_

_“Not only autistic people stim,” Lauren defends herself, “People- people with ADHD and anxiety do it, too.”_

_“Lo,” Dinah says, “you know you’re going to have to tell her, right?”_

_“No,” Lauren shakes her head, “I’m not- I’m not telling her. And none of you can either. It’s my thing to tell, and I don’t want her to know.”_

_Ally sighs. “But, Lo-”_

_“Do you think- do you think it’d impress her if I drew her?” Lauren asks, mostly to herself. “Because- because she said she liked my drawing earlier, and it was her eye. So she will like a full portrait. I am going to draw her.”_

_She hears her friends’ sigh, and shrugs to herself, putting her earbuds in. When she’s searching through her library for a song, she hears Dinah and Normani’s hushed whispers._

_“I don’t want her to get hurt.”_

_“Mani, that seems kind of inevitable.”_

_“She’s already crushing…”_

_“I know.”_

_“And I’m worried that- that Camila will be freaked out.”_

_“Lo can come on strong sometimes, but everyone knows she means well.”_

_“Camila doesn’t know that…”_

_Lauren puts a random song on, not wanting to listen to her friends’ words. Normani was worried that Camila might get freaked out._

_Lauren decides that she’s still going to draw Camila, but she’s not going to show her it. And she’s still going to look at her, even though she knows Camila will pick someone else._

_And she’s never, ever going to tell Camila that she’s not neurotypical._

“Stimmy hair girl?” Camila bursts out laughing. “That’s what you called me in your head?”

“Your hair is very soft and stimmy,” Lauren reaches over and plays with the end of the plait Camila has her hair in. “I like to play with it when I fall asleep.”

Camila smiles. “I like you playing with it. Anyways, you do realise that I was throwing shade at you, right? When you thought I was saying you and the girls were better than Luis or something?”

“You were?” Lauren frowns, before she pouts. “Camz. That’s mean.”

“I thought you were just a bitch!” Camila defends herself. “Hey, things worked out in the end.”

“Yes,” Lauren hums, before her cheeks flush and she says, “I am embarrassed that you know I asked for you to be placed next to me. In literature class, I mean.”

Camila laughs. “Well, I already kind of knew about that. Mr Cowell told me when I left class. I asked why he put me next to you, because everyone else was walking in and sitting wherever.”

Lauren reddens. “You _knew_? This whole time?”

“Yeah,” Camila teases her, “You had a crush on me. Nerd.”

Lauren pouts. “You liked me back.”

“Mhm,” Camila agrees, “and then I loved you back.”

Lauren smiles to herself, thinking back to Dinah and Normani’s words in the car. They hadn’t believed she could get Camila. “I will rub that in Norminah’s faces. Because they were wrong.”

“Yeah, sucks to be Dinah and Mani,” Camila says, nudging Lauren playfully. “You won me over.”

Lauren hums. “Yes. I did. Even though I’m me. And I’m not neurotypical. Because I’m just as good.”

“Nah, babe,” Camila squeezes her hand. “You’re so, _so_ much better.”


	78. Chapter 78

“Do you ever wonder what our lives would be like if we hadn’t met?”

Lauren sits up at her girlfriend’s weird question, before she sighs and curls back up against Camila, keeping Nala pressed to her chest. “No, that’s weird.”

Camila laughs. “I don’t mean to freak you out with _what ifs_ , because I know you’re not a big fan of them. I just wonder sometimes how we would be. How I would be.”

“You’d be a colossal bitch, that’s what you’d be,” Dinah answers for her, and Lauren frowns. It upsets her, that Dinah had called Camila a bitch, because she’s not. She’s the most wonderful person ever, in Lauren’s opinion.

(Even more wonderful than Nala, but Lauren would never admit that. Especially when her stuffed lion is in the room. She doesn’t want to fall out with Nala.)

Camila laughs. “That’s coming from you? The girl who _is_ a colossal bitch, _and_ who probably doesn’t even know what colossal means?”

Dinah scoffs. “Don’t push me, Walz. I _will_ beat your ass.”

“No,” Lauren scowls at Dinah and sits up, scowling even more when her hair falls in front of her eyes. “ _No_.”

“Look out, Lolo lion,” Camila laughs, pushing Lauren’s hair out of her eyes and running her fingers through it. “Your mane is obscuring your vision.”

Lauren hums happily as Camila plays with her hair, but her bad mood comes back when she remembers what Dinah had said. “She’s not a bitch. Leave her alone.”

“Ralph, I’m _kidding_ , you know that,” Dinah rolls her eyes. “Even if I weren’t, you’re hardly intimidating.”

Lauren scowls. “I’m badass.”

Dinah just laughs. “Sure, whatever.”

Camila sticks her tongue out in Dinah’s direction. “Yeah, you can’t get at me, because you’ve got to get through Laur first. Suck on that, Cheechee.”

“Whatever, Chancho,” Dinah laughs. “You’re both weak and Mani and I could take you any day.”

“Unfortunately for you, Mani isn’t here,” Camila points out, turning to Lauren with a grin. Lauren curls back up next to her and kisses Nala on the top of her head. “I guess it’s got to be two on one.”

“She’ll be here soon,” Dinah says, noting how Lauren’s mood turns sour again at _Mani isn’t here_. “She’s just got to pick up Ally since her car’s in the shop, _and_ you asked her to get Shawn too.”

“Yes,” Lauren murmurs, “because we have to say goodbye to everyone.”

“Mhm,” Camila agrees, kissing the top of Lauren’s head, “and we’ll be spending all day tomorrow packing. Well, I will be, at least. This little nerd has already packed.”

“I am organised,” Lauren says to nobody in particular. “I have all of my things, and all of Dash and Leo’s things. I am excited to cuddle with my sons on the flight.”

Camila snorts. “What am I, dead weight?”

Lauren looks up and frowns at her, meeting her girlfriend’s gaze for a moment before she glances down at the floor. “No, you’re my girlfriend.”

Camila smiles, and Lauren blushes when her girl’s lips softly press against her cheek. “I love you.”

“Yes, I love you too,” Lauren nods, and decides she wants to hold Camila’s hand, so she takes it with a smile, keeping one arm secured around Nala. “When are the others coming? I want to say goodbye to Lucy properly. She goes to New Orleans tomorrow.”

“They’ll be here soon, Ralph,” Dinah assures her with a grin. “Mani says she’s just picked up Shawn and she and Ally are on their way.”

“I will message the group chat I have with Lucy, Keana and Alexa,” Lauren decides, and she takes out her phone, asking her friends if they’re on their way yet. In a way, she hopes they don’t reply, because texting while driving is bad.

She tunes out of Dinah and Camila’s conversation, and listens to her girlfriend’s heartbeat. It makes her calm, because she likes to know that Camila is real and alive and safe, and hearing her heartbeat lets Lauren feel extra close to her. She liked doing that with her abuela when she was little, when they’d cuddle and watch _The Lion King_.

Sometimes she wishes she was back there, and didn’t have to worry about her whole life. That’s all she seems to think about lately – what’s ahead and what might happen, and how badly she’ll react to being dropped in a brand new place on her own – and she doesn’t like it. Sometimes she really wishes she was five, curled up in her abuela’s rocking chair with her, watching _The Lion King_ or listening to her grandmother’s heart.

At the same time, she wants to pause time, even though that’s not possible. She wants it to stop for a while, just so she can spend time with her family and best friends and girlfriend and not have everything _change_ in such a big way. She _hates change_.

“What’re you thinking about, babe?”

Lauren snaps out of her thoughts at her girlfriend’s voice. “Um, nothing.”

Camila frowns. “Are you sure?”

Lauren sighs, because she doesn’t like keeping things from Camila, but they’ve already talked about this, and she doesn’t want to annoy Camila by talking about the same things. “I’m worried about change. Everything is going to be different in just _forty-eight hours_. I don’t like it.”

“Really?” Camila hums in thought. “Well, I kind of figured you’d be upset, and that it’ll be hard for you at first. But I’ll be there with you. I’ll be there to talk you down if you get upset. I know you hate change, but some change can be good.”

Lauren scowls. “No change can be—”

She cuts herself off, because that’s completely wrong. There _has_ been one exceptionally good change in her life, and it’s sat right next to her. That change is running its fingers through Lauren’s hair and holding her close.

 _Camila_.

Camila was a big change, and a good one. Lauren was _supposed_ to hate her, because she was disrupting their friend group, a dynamic she’d always been used to. She was new, and she brought change, and Lauren was supposed to hate it, but instead she fell in love with it.

If she fell in love with Camila and every change she brought, maybe she can fall in love with New York, too.

“Never mind,” Lauren decides, “I’m okay now.”

Camila laughs. “What made you change your mind?”

“You did,” Lauren shrugs simply. “You always make me better. You look after me and I look after you.”

Dinah scoffs. “Can you two keep your cheese fest quieter? I’m trying to watch a movie here.”

Lauren looks up, planning on telling Dinah to shut up, but she spots the Disney logo on the TV and cocks her head to the side, wondering what movie Dinah had put on. Her eyes widen when the familiar opening of _The Lion King_ comes on, and she lets out a loud squeal and runs over to Dinah, pulling her in for a hug.

“Thank you!” Lauren snuggles up to her friend, an affronted looking Camila sat up on the other couch. “Thank you for putting this on.”

Dinah smiles and gives Lauren a gentle squeeze. “Anything for you, Ralph. I’m going to miss you so much, you know that, right?”

Lauren hums. “I know. I will miss you too.”

“You’re my best friend,” Dinah murmurs, “I’m going to miss both of you so much.”

“We’re not dying, DJ,” Camila points out with a laugh, but it’s a little half-hearted. “We’re just going to college. So are you. We’ll see each other at Thanksgiving and Christmas.”

“Yeah, I know,” Dinah sighs, “but it won’t be the same as seeing you two dorks every day and making fun of how cheesy you are. Because I know I do that a lot, but it’s like… I love seeing two of my best friends so happy and in love.”

“I do too,” Lauren says with a smile, “I like watching you and Mani, because I think you’ve always loved each other. It just took you a little while to realise it.”

“I’ll always appreciate you, Dinah,” Camila murmurs. “If it weren’t for you, stalking me on my first day and inviting me to sit with you, I’d never have met my soulmate.”

“Yes you would,” Lauren turns around with a frown. “Everyone has loads of soulmates, so you’d probably have met your platonic one, like how I met Lucy before I met you, and she’s my platonic one. And then you’d have met me in college, since we’re going to the same place. But I understand what you’re trying to put across to Dinah, because if it weren’t for her, we wouldn’t have met so _soon_.”

Camila exchanges a look with Dinah, one that Lauren can’t decipher, and the two of them share a laugh. She doesn’t know what she’s said that’s funny, but she doesn’t have the chance to ask _what_ she’d said, because the door opens and Normani, Ally and Shawn walk in.

Lauren takes her place next to Camila again, because that’s her spot, the spot next to her girlfriend. Plus, she thinks Normani will want to sit with Dinah, but Normani makes a beeline for her, as does Ally, and they both collide with her in a weird group hug.

Lauren frowns, but awkwardly hugs them both as best as she can. “Hi.”

Ally – at least, she _thinks_ it’s Ally – squeezes her hand. “I baked some cookies for you, for the ride to the airport. And I’ll bring some more when I come to visit, because you can _bet_ I’m coming to visit.”

“Yes, you are coming to visit,” Lauren nods, as Ally pulls away from the hug. Normani doesn’t. “Um, Manibear?”

Normani doesn’t reply, just hugs her tighter, so Lauren pats her friend on the back until she lets go. When she does, Lauren notes the tears in her eyes. “I’m okay.”

Lauren frowns. “But you’re cry-”

“No, I’m not,” Normani shakes her head. “I’m not. I want to talk to you alone. When you have the time.”

“I always have time for you.” Lauren smiles at her. “You’re my Manibear.”

Normani looks like she’s about to burst into tears, but instead of doing that, she throws herself at Camila, who blinks in surprise, but pulls her in for a tight hug.

When Shawn sits down next to her, Lauren hums. “I don’t need to say goodbye to you, you’re going to be in New York, too.”

Shawn laughs. “That’s what I told Mila five minutes ago when she acted like she was never going to see me again.”

“Are you still talking to that boy?” Lauren asks. “If you are, I want to meet him. We can go on a double date, that’ll be fun. I would like to find some of the quieter restaurants and date spots.”

“Sounds cool,” Shawn nods, “and yeah, I am. He’s moving in next week, around the same time I am.”

“It’d be cool if you were roommates,” Camila says, finally having detached herself from Normani. “Also a massive cliché, but whatever. Clichés are great when they’re gay.”

Lauren beams, but not because of clichés. She’s smiling, because Lucy, Keana and Alexa had just walked into the room, and she’d missed them a lot. Lucy had been busy with Keana, and Alexa with her other friends.

Lauren bypasses Alexa – like Shawn, she’s going to school in New York, too – and practically dives on Lucy, but only after asking if it’s okay. “Come and visit me. You’ve got to promise.”

“I promise,” Lucy tells her. “I promise I’ll visit. But you need to visit me too.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods. “I will. I swear it. Camz and I will visit.”

Once she lets go of Lucy, she hugs Keana. She feels bad for them, because unlike Lauren and Camila, Lucy and Keana are going to different colleges in different states. Lucy is going to New Orleans, and Keana will be in L.A.

Lauren doesn’t think she’d ever be able to do that. Not after always having Camila so close.

“Promise you’ll visit Lucy,” Lauren commands when she pulls away from her hug with Keana. “You have to.”

Keana laughs. “I already have, Lo. Don’t worry.”

Lauren nods, but she had to make sure, because as Lucy’s best friend, it’s her job. Finally, she rounds on Alexa. “You can come and see me and Camzi for dinner any time you want.”

“I’ll take you up on that,” Alexa assures her, “and you’re both welcome at my dorm room. Let’s hope my roommate doesn’t suck.”

Lauren appreciates that she doesn’t have to deal with a roommate. Living with someone she doesn’t know would be a nightmare for her; while she’s ten times more confident than she used to be, she still has trouble making friends with people she doesn’t know, since she isn’t sure how talking to them would work. That’s something she can never be sure of.

Now, though, she’s ten times more likely to try and talk, because if they don’t like her, she doesn’t care.

(She’d still hate to live with a stranger, though.)

When Lauren realises that Dinah hadn’t paused _The Lion King_ when everyone had arrived, her eyes widen and she dives back onto the couch next to Camila. “I need to watch _The Lion King_. I am glad I get to watch this with all of you, and it’s the perfect way to say goodbye.”

Camila’s arm wraps around her waist, and Lauren smiles to herself. She’s watching her favourite movie with her favourite people, and she feels like nothing could ever make her feel happier than she does right now.

Even if everything is going to change soon, that doesn’t mean she can’t enjoy the time she’s got before it does.

Whatever happens next, Lauren feels like she can take it. She’ll have Camila with her, and she’s happy, and that’s all she ever wants.

-

After a few movies and ordering a ton of takeout for everyone, slowly, the group depletes to five. Lauren, Camila, Dinah, Normani and Ally are left together, just like how it was the day Camila had walked into the art room and changed everything in Lauren’s life.

Normani is finishing the last of her Chinese food when she suddenly stands up. “Okay, Lo, we need to talk.”

“Damn, Lauser’s about to get dumped,” Dinah laughs, “sucks to be you.”

“Careful, or someone _will_ be getting dumped,” Normani shoots a mock glare over at Dinah, before she turns to Lauren with a soft smile and teary eyes. “Come on. Let’s go up to your room.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, and presses a kiss to Camila’s cheek, before she stands up and follows Normani up the stairs. “What would you like to talk about? Can I tell you about _The Lion Guard_? I haven’t spoken to you about that yet.”

“I’m going to miss that so much,” Normani turns on her when the door to Lauren’s bedroom closes, “You talking about lions constantly. I never realised how much I loved that until it hit me that you’re leaving. You’re going to be _two thousand miles away_.”

“You’re leaving too,” Lauren points out. “You’re going to California with Dinah. To go to UCLA.”

Normani sighs. “I wish you chose Stanford instead.”

“It’s still like, five hours away from where you are,” Lauren points out, but she hears Normani mutter _same state_. “Besides, NYU was always my first choice, because it snows in the winter time there. I like snow. Also, the zoo is really cool. I’d like to do an internship there, I think.”

Normani stares at her with teary eyes. Usually, Lauren gets uncomfortable when people stare at her, but she’s okay with it, because she trusts Normani and knows she wouldn’t think anything negative about her.

“Just promise me you’ll call.” Normani says. “I want a call every day.”

Lauren frowns to herself. “Well, my mami has already asked that, and Lucy, I will have lots of classes, so I’m not sure I’ll have time every single day to talk for a long time. But I will try my best.”

“Okay,” Normani nods, “but I want enough time. I need to hear about all the cool things you’re learning about the lions. Okay?”

“Yes,” Lauren smiles, happy that Normani wants to hear her talk about lions. “I’ll tell you all about it. I promise.”

“Also, the call has to be _FaceTime_ ,” Normani specifies, “and you’ve got to get Mila in the room for some of it. I want to hear about the music stuff she’s doing.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods. “I will make sure. But you’ve got to make Dinah talk too.”

“I will,” Normani promises her. “Promise me you’ll call if you need to talk. If you’re stressed and upset and Camila’s in class or something. Call even if she isn’t. I don’t want us to drift apart.”

Lauren frowns at her. Drifting away from Normani? She doesn’t think that’s possible. “Mani, you’re my best friend, and you were my first ever friend. I won’t ever want to leave you, and I won’t be. Even though we won’t be physically together, doesn’t mean you’re not still my best friend.”

Normani smiles. “That means a lot.”

“I could never replace you,” Lauren continues, being a little repulsed at the thought. “You’re my Manibear. We’re always going to be best friends.”

Lauren pulls Normani in for a hug, and when her friend starts to cry, Lauren worries she’s said something wrong. Thankfully, Normani shakes her head and murmurs _happy tears_. “I’m so proud of you, Laur. For everything you’ve done. Being valedictorian, your goddamn GPA, actually going after Camila, not falling apart after your grandma passed away, and even just _learning to talk_. I’m so proud.”

Lauren feels tears at her own eyes, but tries to keep them at bay. “You sound like my mami.”

“I’m just so proud,” Normani says. “I always will be. I’m sure you’ll do things in the future too that’ll make me even prouder. I can’t wait to see you do it.”

“Yeah,” Lauren smiles, “and I can’t wait to see everything great that you do. Because you know I’m always going to support you.”

Normani gives Lauren one last squeeze before she pulls away, and wipes at her eyes. “Okay. Let’s get back to the girls. One last sleepover. Remember the first time we had a sleepover with Mila? You wormed your way into her bed.”

Lauren blushes. “I didn’t even know I had a crush on her then. Plus, I didn’t want to sleep on the floor, I don’t like it.”

Normani rolls her eyes, and Lauren grabs her friend’s hand as they head back downstairs. “I’ll miss you, Lo.”

“I’ll miss you too, Mani,” Lauren smiles, and she really means it. If she could only miss one person, barring her family, of course, she knows it’d be Mani.

“Did you two cry?”

Normani scoffs when it’s the first thing Dinah asks them. “Of course we-”

“Yes,” Lauren answers truthfully, as she sits back down next to Camila. “I was emotional, but Mani was more emotional.”

When Dinah laughs, Ally reaches over and hits her on the arm. “Leave them alone. You were crying and hugging Mila five minutes ago.”

That shuts Dinah up.

Camila laughs and kisses Lauren. “What’d you and Mani talk about?”

“About how I have to FaceTime her once a day,” Lauren says, “and you have to join in too. That’s what we talked about.”

Camila smiles. “That’s cute. I’ll be there.”

Lauren hums, grabbing Nala from where she’d left her on the couch and curling up against her girlfriend. “Tell me about the best day of your life.”

Camila looks at her in confusion. “I thought you didn’t like hearing about stories you’re in?”

Lauren hums. “Yes, you’re right. What _is_ the best day of your life, though?”

“Disney. The original Disney trip,” Camila clarifies, “not the one we had on Valentine’s Day, though that was pretty amazing. I know it was more for you, since Disney is your thing, but I really loved it. It was like, I got to be a kid again and mess around with my girl. Also, you know… we did other things too.”

Lauren nods. “Yes, we were intimate for the first time. That was thoroughly enjoyable, but I preferred the _Lion King_ show.”

Dinah, Normani and Ally snort with laughter, though they’re not subtle about hiding it, and Camila flushes bright red. Lauren doesn’t know what she said; she was just recounting the day and her favourite parts.

“Wow, Walz,” Dinah says through the giggling. “You’re second to a _Lion King_ show. That really tells me how great you are in bed.”

“Yes, she is very great in bed,” Lauren agrees, which just makes the girls laugh harder and Camila blush a darker shade of red. “She’s nice to cuddle and she’s always really warm, and it’s good because I like the sheets untucked, too. She’s also very great in the sexual sense, too, but I wasn’t sure which one you’re implying by saying _in bed_ , so I told you both ways.”

“Laur?” Camila asks, and Lauren turns around and glances at her girlfriend’s necklace. “Do me a favour and stop talking about sex.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods, and rests her head on Camila’s chest. “What would you like me to talk about?”

Camila pauses in thought and glances over at the three girls on the opposite couch. Grinning, albeit a little evilly, she points at them. “Embarrassing stories about them.”

“No, wait, Lo,” Ally shakes her head, “I didn’t do anything. Sure, mock these two, but not me.”

“Okay, I won’t tell any embarrassing stories about you,” Lauren promises, because Ally is right, she doesn’t make fun of her. Normani is her best friend out of all her best friends, so she has to embarrass her, it’s a rule; Dinah had told her that.

Incidentally, Dinah had pranked her a few weeks ago, which means Lauren needs to prank her back. Therefore, she has to tell embarrassing stories about Dinah, too.

“Let’s start with Dinah,” Lauren decides, talking over Dinah’s protests. “There was this one time when we were back in elementary school. It was in fifth grade. Dinah decided she wanted to sing in the talent show, which wasn’t the embarrassing part, because Dinah is a good singer.”

Lauren pauses for _dramatic effect_ , and Camila frowns. “What’s the embarrassing part, then?”

“She went up on stage super confident and ready to sing,” Lauren recites, thinking back to the day in her head. She’s quite good at that, remembering things; she can close her eyes and put herself in the situation, like a daydream, but real. “She’d remembered all of the lines to the song and she’d brought clothes to school that she thought made her look like Beyoncé. The one thing she didn’t remember was to _pee_ before she went on stage.”

“Oh my god,” Camila looks over at Dinah, who is hiding her face in Normani’s shoulder. “This better be going where I think it’s going.”

Lauren continues mercilessly. “She starts singing and gets like _halfway_ through _If I Were A Boy_ , and peed her pants right there on stage.”

Camila bursts out laughing. “See, I half wish I knew you guys back then so I could’ve seen that, but I’m also _so_ glad I didn’t, because then you’d have stuff like this on me.”

Dinah sighs. “Will you _ever_ stop telling that story?”

“You pranked me the other week, so I had to prank you back.” Lauren shrugs. “Anyways, now for Mani-”

“Hey, I haven’t pranked you!” Normani defends herself, “Keep your mouth shut, Laurenza.”

“You’re my best friend, so I have to embarrass you. Dinah told me that rule.” Lauren explains, not noticing the glare Normani shoots at Dinah. “Anyways, I don’t know which story to pick, but this one is the most memorable, so I’ll do this.”

She says that mostly to herself, and when Camila’s hands make their way up her shirt and start giving her tummy rubs, Lauren melts, and closes her eyes – only _half_ to remember the story properly. Mostly just because she’s relaxed.

“It was a few weeks after I met you,” Lauren recalls, “when I started school and we made friends.”

“No,” Normani shakes her head. “I know where this is going and it’s the _worst_ moment of my life.”

If anything, that just encourages Lauren to keep telling the story, now she knows it’s a good one. “It was the day we had gym class, which was mostly just us running around in the gym playing tag. But it was the first ever gym class, and Normani forgot her kit. The teacher told her to just take her regular clothes off and wait until they’d found spare kit, but she didn’t know that meant _wait in the classroom_.”

“Lauren, I swear,” Normani interrupts, “stop talking _right now_.”

“Everyone else in the class went into the gym, and five minutes later,” Lauren tries again to pause for dramatic effect, since last time Camila had interrupted, “Mani walked in _completely naked_.”

Camila had chosen the wrong moment to take a sip on her drink, because she laughs and snorts it up her nose. As she’s coughing, Normani sulks.

“Serves you right for laughing at me,” Normani mutters, “you guys suck. It’s not- I thought she meant _wait in the gym_. That’s where they kept the extra gym clothes and I’d never forgotten mine before.”

“She never said wait in the gym _naked_!” Camila laughs, finally recovered from almost drowning on a cup of lemonade. “What gave you that idea?”

“She told me to take my clothes off,” Normani defends herself, “and I was _eight_ , okay? Leave me alone.”

Camila snorts. “Alright, now you guys get your revenge. Embarrassing Lauren stories, please.”

Lauren frowns. “You know everything.”

Dinah looks ready to test that theory. “Did she ever tell you about the time we got asked what we wanted to be when we were older and had to present it?”

“And Lo decided she wanted to be a lion,” Normani laughs, “and she came into school-”

“In a lion costume? And got told it was inaccurate because she didn’t have a mane?” Camila finishes. “Yep, heard it. And I think that’s cute, not embarrassing.”

“It’s no use,” Ally assures them. “Anything you tell her, she’ll think it’s cute.”

Normani sighs. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“I can’t help it if I’m biased,” Camila shrugs, kissing Lauren’s cheek. “She’s adorable.”

Lauren blushes. “Camz. I love you.”

“I love you too, Lo,” Camila grins, reaching forwards and grabbing a slice of cold pizza from one of the boxes on the coffee table. “And I can’t wait to love you for the rest of my life.”

A comfortable silence falls over them for a moment, but it’s not for long. There’s never silence when she’s with the girls, and Lauren knows that. She blames the noise on Dinah, but this time, it’s Ally who speaks.

“I’m going to miss this,” she says, looking around at the other girls before her gaze lands on Lauren. “This time next week, we’ll all be on opposite ends of the country. We won’t get to hang out and eat takeout and laugh with each other whenever we want.”

Normani looks on the brink of tears again, and Dinah takes her hand and squeezes it. Lauren feels Camila rubbing her tummy again, but she pushes past the natural sleepiness it induces and speaks.

“That’ll just make it even more special when we do hang out,” Lauren replies, already looking forward to coming home for Thanksgiving so she can see her family and do exactly this with her best friends. “We’ll appreciate each other even more than we already do.”

As she settles down for the night with the girls, thinking about how it’ll be a while until she’ll have a sleepover like this again, Lauren knows that she’s right. She knows that no matter what, she’ll always have her best friends and she’ll always appreciate them.

Most importantly, they’ll never _ever_ grow apart.


	79. Chapter 79

“Laur. I’m taking you to see _The Lion King_ when it comes out.” Dinah announces, staring down at her phone with wide eyes.

Lauren tries her best to get the suitcase in the trunk of the car, but Camila had clearly packed a lot. But she’s not about to let her girlfriend carry heavy suitcases, because she knows that’s not chivalrous, and Lauren promised she’d treat Camila right.

She’s a little annoyed that Dinah isn’t helping, either. Dinah is strong, so she doesn’t have an excuse.

“Mani is taking me to see that, she promised after she found out that Disney were making a new one.” Lauren says. “You are welcome to join if you’d like-”

“ _Obviously_ Mani wants to go with you. _Beyoncé is playing Nala._ ” Dinah says, still staring at her phone. “I’m _so_ taking you. If anyone asks, I’m doing my friend a favour by seeing her favourite movie with her.”

Lauren frowns. “There is nothing wrong with wanting to see _The Lion King_. It’s a cinematic masterpiece for many reasons. For example-”

“Ceasefire on the rant, Ralph.” Dinah interrupts. “I’ve heard your reasons a thousand times.”

“Well, I am happy with the casting.” Lauren rocks on her heels, and reaches into the passenger seat of the car, picking up her stuffed Nala. “Beyoncé is my best friend.”

“Actually, you’ll find that she’s _my_ best friend. Your best friend is an inanimate object.” Dinah teases her. “Do you think if I tweeted her and told her how much my autistic best friend loves Nala, she’d come and meet me for free?”

“I doubt it.” Lauren replies, and Dinah deflates. “She probably doesn’t even run her own Twitter. But you could try, I think it would be interesting to meet the voice of Nala. But I’m not taking you, I’m taking Camz.”

Camila appears through the door, carrying another bag. “Taking me where?”

“To meet Beyoncé. Apparently she’s voicing Nala in the new _Lion King_ movie.” Lauren rocks on her heels. “Dinah found out and wants to use me to meet Beyoncé.”

Camila shakes her head. “If anyone is going to use my girlfriend, it’s me.”

Lauren frowns, and juts her bottom lip out in a pout when she realises what Camila had said. “You’re going to use me? How? Because I am not an object-”

“I was joking, baby,” Camila assures her, kissing Lauren’s cheek. “Besides, I wanted to take you to see the new _Lion King_. I wanted it to be like a date. We could go to the midnight premiere if there is one.”

Lauren’s jaw drops, and she practically pounces on Camila in a hug. “I love you! That would be the best date ever. I- um, our date to- to the Broadway show will also be perfect, because it will be our two year anniversary, _and_ we’ll get to- um, to watch my favourite thing.”

“You two are gross,” Dinah rolls her eyes, “get a room.”

Lauren ignores her. “DJ, if you want to take me to see _The Lion King_ , and Camz does too, and Mani as well, then you can all take me at different times! Ally can take me another time as well, because I already know I want to see it more than once.”

Camila beams and squeezes Lauren’s hand as Dinah mutters something that sounds a lot like _you’re paying for the tickets, Lauser_. “You’re the cutest. Are Dash and Leo ready for their first plane ride?”

“Yes, my sons are ready.” Lauren nods, and Dinah snorts at the word _sons_. “I am also ready. I quite enjoy plane rides, because you can stare out at the fluffy clouds. When I was little I thought it was another world, and my mami had to explain they were just clouds.”

Camila laughs. “I actually used to think that too.”

“You two are boring.” Dinah rolls her eyes. “I’m going to call Mani and see if she’s done with her dance class yet.”

“Yeah, why are you even here?” Camila frowns. “It’s not like you’re helping with the bags.”

Dinah pauses in thought, and Camila starts to suspect the real reason she’s here. Not because she’s bored, but because she’s going to miss them more than she’d like to let on. “I was bored and my girl is busy, so…”

Camila rolls her eyes, muttering _bullshit_. Lauren hears it and frowns, but replies to Dinah instead. “Well, since you’re here, you can help us put stuff in the trunk! My mami helped me pack, because I wasn’t entirely sure what things I needed to bring in my carry on, because I didn’t know what I might need to access on the plane. I find it dumb that you’re not allowed lots of liquid past a certain point in an airport. I think it’s because they want to overcharge you for a bottle of water later. It’s wrong, because it just fuels our capitalist society and-”

“Baby?” Camila interrupts, and Lauren blinks, confused. “How about we drink enough on our way? Then we’ll be okay until we get on the plane, and I’m sure they offer free drinks on there.”

“Oh, okay,” Lauren agrees easily, and looks towards the front door. “I have one more bag I want to put in the trunk. Then we’re ready to go for the morning, I think.”

With that, Lauren turns on her heel and skips through the door, humming happily.

Camila turns around, mostly to accuse Dinah of caring about them more that she lets on, but Dinah beats her to talking.

“You’re so good with her.” Dinah says, nodding in the direction Lauren had gone in. “It really makes me happy that she’s got you.”

Camila laughs. “I mean, if I didn’t treat her right, she’d have dumped my ass by now.”

“I don’t mean like that, though. I mean… her random subject changes or like, when she gets stressed,” Dinah explains, “you know what to do to calm her down.”

Lauren walks back outside to meet them, dumping another bag in the trunk. “What are you guys talking about?”

“About how…” Camila laughs, deciding to tease her girlfriend with a reference, “about how you’re my lobster.”

Lauren looks affronted. “I’m your lion, not a lobster.”

Camila snorts. “No, it’s like, the _Friends_ -”

“Take it back.” Lauren folds her arms across her chest. “I am a lion.”

“I know you’re my Lolo lion,” Camila assures her. “I was referencing that _Friends_ episode where Phoebe uses lobster instead of soulmate. Even though Monica and Chandler were an infinitely better couple, but that’s a rant for a different day.”

After a few moments of silence, Lauren nods. “Okay. I can be a lobster too, but I’d much prefer lion.”

“You’ll always be my Lolo lion,” Camila messes with Lauren’s hair, her stomach flipping when her girlfriend scrunches her nose up as a few strands fall in her face. “I love you, cutie.”

“I love you too,” Lauren replies, brushing her hair out of her face and pulling down the hem of her sweater. “Do you think NYU will have a university sweater I can buy? Because I’d really like that. Especially if it’s soft on the inside or if the sleeves are extra long so I can stim with them.”

Dinah laughs. “Extra long sleeves make me think about the Slenderman denim jacket.”

Camila laughs with her, because she’s seen the post, but Lauren pouts. “I think that was quite impractical.”

“Yeah.” Camila nods. “Totally impractical. That’s why it’s funny.”

“Anyways, DJ, why didn’t you help with the bags?” Lauren asks. “You’re strong, so you could-”

“I’m here to say goodbye, Lauser.” Dinah finally admits; Camila smirks, because she’d figured that was the case. “Because I’m going to miss you.”

Lauren hums. “We said goodbye last night. With Ally and Mani.”

“I know, but…” Dinah sighs. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I’m really going to miss you and your annoying lion facts.”

“They’re not annoying.” Lauren looks down at her feet. “I like lions.”

“I was messing with you.” Dinah assures her. “You know, I remember the first lion fact you ever told me. It was when we were like, eight, and you were still learning to talk properly.”

_“Hey, Ralph,” Dinah greets, collapsing down next to Lauren. She still doesn’t understand why Lauren likes to sit in the classroom over breaks; break is the best part of the school day._

_“’allo!” Lauren answers, and Dinah smiles at her friend. “R- read- reading.”_

_Lauren points to her book and taps the picture of the lion. Dinah laughs. “That’s cool. Is it a book about lions?”_

_“I- uh- y-yes.” Lauren bobs her head. “Animals.”_

_“Did your parents buy you it?” Dinah asks, and Lauren bobs her head in confirmation. “That’s cute. Have you learned anything cool?”_

_“’es!” Lauren exclaims, dropping the first consonant in her excitement. “Lions, um, lions l-live- ‘ive in p-prides!”_

_Dinah grins. “That’s super cool, Ralph. I didn’t know that.”_

_Lauren smiles back and claps her hands three times. “Lions.”_

Camila stares at Lauren with wide eyes, pulling her in for a kiss. “You are _so_ cute, Lauren Michelle.”

Lauren frowns a little. “That’s not even- well, it _is_ a fact, but it’s not a very good one.”

“You were eight,” Dinah laughs. “You’re not going to know all the stuff you know now about their biology or whatever.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “I’m going to be the best zookeeper ever.”

“Yeah.” Dinah signals she’s going to touch Lauren and squeezes her hand. “You’re going to be amazing.”

-

“How do the engines on the planes work?”

“Well, I-”

“What about the wings? How were they built?”

“I’m not-”

“I think it’s very interesting, the topic of how we built planes. You must think that too, since you work at an airport and all. Are you going to learn how to fly a plane?”

Camila smirks a little at the very distressed woman working the check-in desk. Obviously the woman hadn’t expected anyone as talkative as Lauren as early in the morning. She notices the woman eyeing the stuffed lion tucked under Lauren’s arm, and plastering on a smile. It’s honestly kind of funny.

“Can I see your passport, sweetie?”

Lauren frowns at her, handing the passport over. “I don’t like it when people other than Camz call me pet names. It’s condescending.”

The woman looks a little taken aback. “Oh, uh, sorry.”

“So, are you going to learn how to fly a plane?” Lauren keeps conversing, and Camila tries her best not to laugh at the look on the woman’s face. “I think I might be able to learn one day, because I’m smart, I graduated with a 5.0 GPA and was my high school’s valedictorian. I think learning to fly a plane might be relatively easy to understand.”

The woman just blinks at Lauren, clearly tired, and hands the girl her passport back. “Can I get your passport please?”

Camila hands hers over, and Lauren rocks on her heels, staring at one of the suitcases on the weighing scale. When Camila gets her passport back, she smiles. “Thanks. Our suitcase isn’t over, right?”

“No,” the woman shakes her head, “your other one should be fine too.”

“Where do the suitcases go?” Lauren asks, and Camila bites down on her bottom lip. It’s getting really hard not to laugh at the clearly unprepared woman dealing with all of Lauren’s eccentricities. “Camz, we should’ve put a camera on the case so we could see where it goes.”

“Next time, gorgeous,” Camila promises, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “Is everything in order?”

The woman nods, checking their tickets, and their final bag goes down the conveyor belt after weighing. The woman looks entirely too relieved to be rid of them, but Camila knows not many people could deal with someone as talkative as Lauren first thing on a morning.

Lauren grabs her hand and swings it. “I love you. I am- um, I am relaxed. Because you will look after me in New York.”

“Yeah, I will.” Camila promises with a grin. “Anyway, let’s go say goodbye to our families. Then we can go through and grab some breakfast. Preferably from McDonalds.”

Lauren frowns. “We already had breakfast.”

“Fine, brunch, then,” Camila rolls her eyes. “Or breakfast 2.0.”

Before Lauren can reply, Sofi runs over to them, grabbing Camila’s hand. “You’re not allowed to leave.”

Camila laughs. “I’m not allowed?”

“No,” Sofi shakes her head, “You c-can’t.”

Camila picks her sister up, huffing a little, because Sofi is getting older and picking her up is harder. “I promise I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Lamp t-too?” Sofi asks, glancing at Lauren. “She’ll be back as well?”

“Yes.” Lauren bobs her head in confirmation. “We can watch _The Lion Guard_!”

After a few moments of consideration, Sofi nods. “Okay.”

Camila smiles, and sets her sister down, following her back to their families. Her dad immediately pulls her in for a hug, and she feels her mother squeeze her hand comfortingly. Lauren watches her girlfriend and her family with a smile, but turns to her own family, rocking on her heels.

She frowns when she sees the tears rolling down Clara’s cheeks. “Mami, don’t be sad. I know I won’t be home for a while, but maybe you can come visit. And- and I’ll be back for Thanksgiving and Christmas.”

“They’re happy tears,” Mike explains, his eyes looking a little watery too. “We are so proud of you, Lauren.”

Lauren smiles, because all she’s ever wanted is to make her parents proud. She looks round at her mom, because she’s always wanted her mother’s approval. Most of her life, she felt like she’d disappointed Clara, and it’s only in the past year that she’s started to feel like her mom is happy with her.

Clara holds her arms out, and Lauren collapses into her mother’s arms. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, mami,” Lauren answers, shifting out of the hug and meeting her mother’s gaze for a moment, before her eyes land on Clara’s necklace. “Why are you crying so much? I know they’re happy tears, but why?”

“I just… ever since you were born… and when you were little… I never thought I’d get to see you off to college.” Clara explains, beaming down at Lauren proudly. “If you went back in time to when you were diagnosed, and told me how… how amazing you really are…”

Clara trails off, and Lauren’s eyes widen. “You think I’m amazing?”

“You are so extraordinary.” Clara says. “Your abuela always told me that and I’m sorry that it took me so long to see it. I’m so, _so_ proud of you, Lauren.”

Lauren has some happy tears in her eyes too, because she’s waited so long to hear her mother say that. She’s at a loss for words, and instead, bounces on the balls of her feet to show she’s happy. Clara seems to understand, because she smiles.

“Call us as soon as you land,” Mike tells her, and Lauren moves forwards to hug him, because she realises she hadn’t given her dad a hug yet. “We’ll be home and your brother and sister will be awake by then, so you can talk to them. I know you said goodbye last night, but I want you guys to stay close.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, finally regaining her voice. “And- um, I will call them both every day in December to fill them with my usual festive cheer.”

“We’ll see you soon, okay?” Mike smiles. “Your mom is already thinking of visiting. She wants to see you before Thanksgiving.”

Lauren blinks in surprise. “Really?”

“Really,” Clara confirms, “I’ll see what I can do, okay?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, squeezing Nala around the middle. “I will tell Camila so we can prepare a nice weekend.”

When Camila comes over, the rest of the Cabellos in tow, Lauren beams. “Camz, you’ll never guess what my mami said!”

Camila smiles, taking Lauren’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “You can tell me all about it on the plane, baby.”

“Okay.” Lauren agrees, glancing up at Sinu and Alejandro. “Goodbye. I will see you both during Thanksgiving break at some point, I presume.”

Camila laughs at the formal goodbye, and nods towards the gate. “Are we… um, going to go through to security?”

After a few moments, Lauren nods, because even though this moment means change, she’s going to go through with it. She’s going to follow the change, because even though she hates the idea of her entire life changing, all of her routines being ruined… at least she has Camila. Even though she will take some time to adjust, she knows that Camila will be there for her and will do everything she can to help her settle.

For now, she’s going to pretend it’s like a holiday. Technically they do have another week until orientation starts, and a week after that until classes start, so she can pretend for a while, and once she gets her schedule, things will be a little more structured and she’ll be less stressed.

She gives her parents one last hug each, takes the carrier Dash and Leo are in, and then follows Camila towards the airport security.

“I hope I don’t beep when I go through the metal thingy,” Lauren comments as they get in line. “Then some random person will want to touch me, and I might run away if they touch me where I don’t like.”

Camila pauses for a moment. “Maybe you should mention that you’re autistic and have problems with-”

“You know, I’m not sure I like the idea of Beyoncé being in _The Lion King_.” Lauren interrupts, voicing her thought out opinion on the matter. “I like Beyoncé and her work, but _The Lion King_ is _my_ favourite movie, and I don’t- I don’t want the rest of the world to make it all about Beyoncé. I saw someone call it _Beyoncé King_ and I didn’t like that because- um, and- um, while it will make the movie more popular and therefore successful, I don’t- I don’t want other people thinking they like Nala more than me. Because they don’t.”

Camila watches as Lauren hugs her Nala to her chest and smiles. “Don’t worry, baby. Everyone knows that you’re Nala’s number one fan.”

Lauren frowns. “I’m not her _fan_. I’m her friend. Nala was my first friend. Mani was my first real friend, and I know Nala isn’t real, but I always had her with me when I needed. Like- um… when my parents left me with my aunt, I still had Nala. Nala made me feel brave, like a lion, even though I was scared.”

“You should get a little black and white Nala tattoo,” Camila comments, and Lauren’s eyes light up at the idea. “She means a lot to you, and I know that you like your tattoos to mean something.”

“Camzi,” Lauren stares at her. “That’s the best thing you’ve ever said.”

“I can’t believe you hadn’t already thought about it.” Camila says, and when they’re beckoned towards a security guy, Camila leads Lauren forwards. “I’m going to go through first. If you beep, I’ll tell the guy about like, how you are with touch. Okay?”

“Okay,” Lauren nods and puts her backpack into a tray so it can be scanned. She squeezes Nala to her chest and kisses the top of her head before putting her in too.

Naturally, when Camila goes through, she beeps, and has to be awkwardly frisked by the security guy before she’s allowed to collect her stuff. Lauren is fine though, even with the two dogs, and walks through the detector without it beeping, skipping happily to meet her girlfriend.

“So, tell me about what your mom said,” Camila says as she slings her backpack over one shoulder, smiling a little when Lauren grabs Nala straight away. “You said I wouldn’t believe it.”

“Oh, well, um,” Lauren smiles to herself. “She said- she said I was extraordinary. And- um, that she’s- she’s proud.”

Camila laughs. “Why wouldn’t I believe that? I mean, she’s not _wrong_. You’re amazing.”

“I- I just,” Lauren shrugs, “I always wanted to hear my mami say that without any- without any _buts_ or _ifs_ added on. I wanted like, unconditional proudness and I- I finally got to hear that.”

“I’m happy for you,” Camila smiles, “I know how much that must’ve meant to you.”

“It meant everything,” Lauren beams, following Camila through to a waiting area. “Do we wait here until we find out what gate we board at?”

“Yeah,” Camila nods, “we’ll have like, an hour to kill. I’ll go get some food. Sausage McMuffin?”

“Okay, yes, and a hash brown.” Lauren smiles at the two dogs in the pet carrier. “And water for my sons.”

“I’ll be right back.” Camila pulls Lauren in for a kiss, before heading off to the nearby McDonald’s. Lauren stares after her with a smile, before squeezing Nala again and looking back down at the dogs. “We’re going to a new home, babies.”

Leo wags his tail, and Dash lies down, uninterested. Lauren decides to let them out for a while, not entirely sure if she’s allowed, but they’re on leashes, so it should be fine. She unlocks the door to the pet carrier and grabs the leashes quickly, but Leo is the only one who cares enough to leave the carrier and stretch his legs.

Lauren smiles down at Dash. “You comfy, Dash?”

Dash looks up at the sound of his name, and Lauren smiles even wider when he leaves the carrier too. She keeps tight hold of the leashes, happy that her dogs have more room. When Camila comes back with their breakfasts, two coffees, a bottle of water and an empty plastic bowl, Lauren smiles.

“You don’t know how weirdly they looked at me when I asked for an empty bowl,” Camila comments as she sits back down. She pours some water for the dogs, gives Lauren her breakfast and coffee, and digs into her own.

They spend most of the hour relaxing, Lauren alternating between reading her book and playing with the dogs, and Camila playing iPhone games. When their gate is announced, Lauren coaxes the dogs back into the pet carrier, and they walk to a different waiting room right outside their gate.

Camila goes back to playing her iPhone games, and Lauren watches her for a few moments, before laughing. “You’re my girlfriend and you’re moving to New York with me.”

Camila looks up from her game, and eyebrow raise in amusement. “You hadn’t figured that out already?”

“Of course I had,” Lauren rolls her eyes. “But when I met you, I thought you’d never like me romantically. And you didn’t like me at all. And two years on, we’re moving in together.”

Camila smiles. “It _is_ kind of funny. Imagine then-Camila zapping into the future right now. I feel like she’d be pretty shocked.”

Lauren hums. “I would tell her to be nice to me. Like, seventeen-year-old Lauren. Because I was really scared to be myself and… scared to talk to anyone.”

“She’d be surprised with how talkative you are now,” Camila laughs. “I mean, _you’d_ be surprised with how talkative you are now.”

Lauren nods. “I am proud to be me.”

“Good.” Camila kisses her cheek. “Because you have the most beautiful mind in the universe.”

Lauren opens her mouth to reply, but a loud announcement interrupts her. The noise makes her cringe a little, because it’s unnecessarily loud and has a really bad echo. Lauren’s hands shoot up and cover her ears, and after a few seconds, the announcement ends and Camila gives her a comforting kiss.

“We’re boarding.”

“Oh,” Lauren says. “Well, they didn’t need to announce it that loudly.”

Camila just smiles, standing up and holding out her hand. “Ready to start our life together, Lolo lion?”

“Yes.” Lauren nods, and her fingers weave between Camila’s, fitting perfectly. “I am.”

In that moment, Lauren feels like she could conquer the world.


	80. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to preface this with a few things.
> 
> 1) The girls went on hiatus, and even though we all knew it was coming, I'm going to respectfully ask you not to comment about it. This fic is here to take people's minds off the real world, even if it's only for a little while.
> 
> 2) I'm so incredibly nervous for you all to read this, because I feel like there are a lot of expectations and pressure on me for this fic. But this is the end, and I'm happy with it.
> 
> 3) There are questions I have for you down at the bottom about the future of this book and my others and I'd love to get your input
> 
> 4) I love Camila Cabello and Lauren Jauregui.
> 
> 5) Here we go.

The first thing Camila realises about college is that it’s hard.

She knows it’s wrong that she feels this way, but any time Lauren comes home talking about her good grades, Camila is jealous. She knows she should be happy for Lauren, but it’s hard when she’s struggling at something her girlfriend finds so easy.

Camila goes to the classes, and hands in the work, but she has no clue what she’s doing, and that’s her downfall.

Lauren, on the other hand, finds her work rather easy, and complains that it isn’t challenging her enough. “I knew all of these things about animals already,” she boasts one night, and Camila just sighs and decides she’s going to sleep on the couch.

After what feels like a year avoiding Lauren – really, it’s only a week – her girlfriend finally approaches her.

“Are you mad at me?”

Camila looks up from the television to see Lauren rocking on her heels in the doorway. “No. I’m not mad.”

“You’re avoiding me, I think,” Lauren points out, and Camila sighs, “I would like you to stop that, please.”

“I’m just tired, Lauren,” Camila admits, and Lauren sinks down onto the couch next to her, her fingers drumming against her leg. “College is really kicking my ass.”

“Why didn’t you say so?” Lauren frowns, glancing at the work on Camila’s desk. “I can help you, if you’d like. And- um, we can do something fun to take your mind off it.”

“I’m starting to think it’s not for me.” Camila continues like she hadn’t heard Lauren talk. “College isn’t really for everyone. The work is too much of a step up and it’s stressing me out.”

Lauren blinks. “You’re moving back home?”

“What?” Camila looks up and shakes her head. “No, I love being here with you. It’s just… I’m not too sure about continuing with college.”

“Oh,” Lauren frowns to herself. “Well, um, you can go and talk to the admissions people. And maybe ask about taking a year out and restarting next year. It’s only early, I’m sure you can do that. I’ll go with you if you need me to.”

Camila shakes her head. “That’d make me feel like a failure, though. Like I’m too dumb to-”

“No,” Lauren interrupts her. “You’re so smart, Camzi. If it’s a problem with the work, I can help! And- and I- I don’t want you to drop out because then you’ll go home and I’ll be alone and-”

“Lauren,” Camila cuts in, “even if I did drop out, it wouldn’t be… I’d stay here and get a job. Use the time to work on my music or something.”

“Oh,” Lauren deflates a little, but then smiles and nods, “alright then. Why have you been avoiding me because of this? You could have spoken to me.”

“It’s more like,” Camila sighs, “you’re always getting all these amazing grades and good comments from your teachers and while I’m so proud of you for that, you come home and tell me about it and it makes me feel even more inadequate. I feel dumb next to you.”

“Not many people are as smart as me.” Lauren announces, and Camila can’t help but smile a little. “You are far from dumb, Camz. And I believe that you can do well in college, but if you want to take a break, that could be good for you too.”

“I’ll… I’ll try to figure things out.” Camila answers, hoping that would be good enough for now. “Maybe… maybe I could post covers or something. Because I’ve been lacking a creative outlet and that’s probably adding to the stress of it all.”

“Yes!” Lauren beams. “Yes, I like that. I will link it to everyone once you post one.”

Camila smiles back, and gently squeezes Lauren’s hand. “Thank you, Lo. I think I really needed this talk. Even if I didn’t realise it.”

“You’re welcome,” Lauren rests her head on her shoulder. “I know what will cheer you up even more.”

Camila hums. “Yeah? What’s that?”

“The Lion King!” Lauren announces, and Camila can see the mischievous glint in her eye. “It is amazing at cheering me up, so it should work on you, too.”

Camila just laughs. “You just want to watch The Lion King, don’t you?”

Lauren blushes. “Was it that obvious?”

“In case you hadn’t noticed, Lo,” Camila laughs, “you’re kind of the least subtle person to ever live. Besides, your permanent state of being is wanting to watch The Lion King.”

“I guess that’s true.” Lauren murmurs. “Can we watch it, though?”

“Maybe we should watch The Lion Guard. You haven’t introduced me to that properly yet. We only watched a couple of episodes together and then you disappeared for two days in summer to watch the rest by yourself.”

“Oh, yes,” Lauren nods, and gets up off the couch, stretching. “I’m sorry I did that, but you talked through some of the episodes and I wanted to concentrate on that.”

Camila just smiles. “Go get your DVD.”

-

Camila clicks the upload button and watches as her first cover makes its way onto her channel. She’s nervous, but it’s not the bad kind of nervous that she gets when she’s got a dentist appointment. It’s the kind of nervous she gets around Lauren; the good kind of nervous.

She sits back, letting out a sigh of relief, glad she actually had the balls to post it. She really hopes this will work out for her – if anything, she just wants to play music.

When there’s a knock on their apartment door, Camila frowns. She knows that Lauren is in a class right now, and it’s not like her girlfriend would skip. Even if she did, she has a key. She shrugs it off and stands up, looking through the peephole to see who it could be. She smiles when she recognises the person and opens up the door.

“Hey, Hailee.” Camila smiles. “What’s up?”

Hailee is the closest thing to a friend that Camila has made in college. They’d met on the first day and had made a habit of studying together, but lately had found it hard to find a decent spot in the library. So, Camila had invited Hailee over to the apartment to study, but it must’ve slipped her mind.

“You said we were going to study today?” Hailee says, and it’s more like a question, “Is this a bad time?”

“Oh, no, of course not,” Camila pulls the door open further and steps aside to let Hailee in. “I just forgot in all the excitement. Well, it’ll sound pretty anticlimactic to you, but I posted a cover on YouTube for the first time.”

Hailee smiles. “That’s cool. I’ll make sure to watch it when I’m home. Anyway, is your roommate in, or… do you even have a roommate?”

“Uh, yeah, I live with my girlfriend, but she’s got a class,” Camila explains; she’d yet to come out to Hailee in case she wasn’t cool with it, and Camila has always been cautious about that. No point in hiding it now she’s here, though. “She won’t be back until three.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” Hailee answers, “what’s she studying?”

“Animal biology,” Camila answers, “she wants to work in a zoo when she’s older. I guess you could say she likes lions.”

And by like, I mean probably would dump me for a lion if it was legal, Camila finishes in her head, smiling a little.

“That’s cute,” Hailee smiles at her, “Anyway, you said you found what we covered in class yesterday really hard, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” Camila nods, and grabs her backpack from where she’d left it by the couch. “I’ve got my notes here…”

They’re still studying an hour later, Camila becoming frustrated with the work she just doesn’t get. She’s fine with the music part of her course, but the literature makes her head hurt, even though she’d always been good at it in school.

When the door opens and Lauren walks in, already rambling about her day, Camila’s mood picks up a little. Lauren always makes her feel better.

“Hi, Laur,” Camila flashes her girlfriend a smile, “this is Hailee, she’s from one of my classes.”

Lauren stops in surprise, not having noticed the other girl. She rocks on her heels and sends Hailee a shy smile. “Hi. I am Lauren Michelle Jauregui. I’m Camila’s girlfriend.”

“Nice to meet you,” Hailee smiles, “I can go if you guys have plans.”

Camila shakes her head, because she really needs to study if she’s going to make it through their first semester. “Nah, it’s fine. We don’t have any plans, right, Lo?”

“Um, no,” Lauren shakes her head, looking between Camila and Hailee. “Do you like The Lion King?”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip to hide her smile, and Hailee looks a little surprised by the question. Camila turns to her friend and mouths say yes, even though Camila would probably find it hilarious if Hailee said no.

Hailee pauses for a moment, and sends Lauren a hesitant nod. “Uh, yeah, sure.”

Lauren brightens, and shrugs her coat off. “That’s okay, then. I won’t have to kick you out.”

As Lauren busies herself making a snack in the kitchen, Camila lets out some silent laughter at the questioning look on Hailee’s face. When Camila finally calms down, Lauren’s question significantly improving her mood, she explains.

“She’s autistic,” Camila answers Hailee’s unspoken question, “and The Lion King is her favourite movie. Insult it and she acts like you insulted her family or something. Trust me, I’ve watched it more times since meeting her than I had in the previous sixteen years of my life.”

“You’ve been together since you were sixteen?” Hailee asks, and Camila nods. “Two years?”

“Almost.” Camila comments. “It’s our anniversary in a few weeks. Right, Lo?”

Lauren looks up from the sandwich she’s making with a frown. “What are you talking about?”

“Our anniversary,” Camila explains. “It’s in a couple weeks.”

“Oh, yes, I know that,” Lauren flashes her a smile. “I can’t wait, because we get to see The Lion King on Broadway, and I think it will be lovely to see the show of my favourite movie with my favourite girl. Would you like a sandwich?”

“Sure, babe,” Camila answers, turning to Hailee, “want anything to eat?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Hailee answers, “anyway, back to this text we were looking at…”

As they’re studying, Lauren settles herself on the couch next to Camila and watches, her head rested on her girlfriend’s shoulder. Occasionally, she’ll input a correct answer that she memorised from extra credit work she did in high school, explaining to Hailee that it was important to her because she needed to maintain her 5.0 GPA.

When Hailee leaves, Lauren stares after her. Once the door is shut, she hums in thought. “She’s nice. I like your new friend, Camzi.”

Camila smiles at her. “Pretty sure she likes you too, baby. Everyone likes you because you’re so cute.”

“Yes, I’m cute,” Lauren nods in agreement. “What did you do today? You didn’t have any classes, did you?”

“Nope,” Camila answers, finding it adorable how Lauren had memorised both of their schedules the second they’d received them. “I posted my first cover, though. I guess that’s pretty big news.”

Lauren beams at her. “Camzi, I’m so proud of you. Were you nervous? I think I would be. Oh, I know, we can do a duet! That’d be cool, because we can both sing, and I want to support you while you’re doing something you love.”

Camila pulls Lauren in for a tight hug. “I’d love to do a duet with you, baby.”

Lauren buries her face into Camila’s neck. “You’re so good, Camzi. I know you’re going to make it.”

Camila doesn’t quite believe her – there are so many talented people that never make it doing what they love, and she’s always got that worry in the back of her mind that she’s going to end up becoming part of that statistic. But, not wanting to share that worry with Lauren, she just smiles.

“Thank you, Lolo lion,” Camila kisses the top of her girlfriend’s head. “I’m really glad you believe in me.”

-

Her videos don’t get millions of views like Lauren constantly proclaims they will, but her most viewed cover is at 15,000 views, which to her, is insane. She posts the duet with Lauren, too, and as she’s editing it before posting, she sees the way Lauren’s eyes are on her, and she sees the amount of love in them.

It makes her stomach flip and her heart overcompensate, to know she has someone like Lauren there for her.

-

Lauren is working on an essay in the library when a girl from one of her classes sits down across from her. She knows the girl’s name is Kehlani, and she always sits by Lauren in classes and talks to her when she’s trying to focus. Lauren frowns, but she doesn’t pay much attention to her, because she’s clearly trying to focus on her work. Besides, it’s her two year anniversary with Camila today, and she wants to get her work done as soon as possible so she can go home and get ready with her girlfriend for their date tonight.

(She’s ecstatic about seeing The Lion King, but that’s not really surprising.)

“What’re you working on?”

Lauren lets out a sigh and answers with a shrug of her shoulders, looking through her open browser for a more appropriate source to cite.

“Is it that essay for class?” Kehlani asks. “Because I was kind of struggling with it. I was wondering if you could help?”

Lauren looks up in surprise, but her face sinks into a frown. “Why would I help?”

Kehlani frowns. “Because we’re friends?”

“We are?” Lauren tilts her head to the side. She hadn’t remembered saying that they’re friends, and Kehlani hadn’t said it, either. “Since when?”

“Well, I mean, we’ve been sitting together in all the classes we share since we started in September?” Kehlani says it like a question, and Lauren doesn’t know what she’s supposed to say in response. “I thought it was obvious.”

“But you always talk to me when I’m trying to work,” Lauren frowns. “Like right now.”

Kehlani frowns back. “I was talking to you because I thought we were friends. Guess I was wrong.”

“We can be friends if you want,” Lauren offers, because if she’d known that was what Kehlani wanted, then she would’ve made herself more approachable. “I didn’t know we were.”

Kehlani shakes her head and starts to get up. “It’s obvious that you don’t like me.”

“It is?” Lauren frowns. “Because I don’t dislike you, I was confused about why you always talked to me, that’s all. Sorry if I upset you. I’m autistic so I don’t really know how to interact with new people. It’s easy when I know them though, like with my girlfriend, Camz.”

“Oh,” Kehlani stops and sits back down. “You could’ve told me you’re autistic, you know.”

“Well, I would’ve, if I knew we were friends,” Lauren shrugs, turning back to her laptop. “Anyways, I have an essay I need to finish, because it’s my two year anniversary with my girlfriend today, and I want to get home as soon as possible. But I can email you my notes if you still want my help.”

Kehlani smiles. “Yeah, that’d be really cool. Thanks, Lauren.”

“You’re welcome,” Lauren answers, “what’s your college email?”

Kehlani gives her it, and Lauren sends over her notes, hoping that it’ll help. She’s very detailed when she takes notes – that’s one of the reasons she had her 5.0 GPA in high school – and she likes to be able to come back to them and understand the lesson content properly.

After she sends the notes over, Kehlani smiles. “Do you want to be study buddies? I could help you understand all the shorthand on the PowerPoints and you could help me with stuff that I don’t get.”

Lauren smiles, because that reminds her of Camila and Hailee, and Camila had told her it’s a great way to make friends. Even though Kehlani had already confirmed that she and Lauren are friends, Lauren nods. “Yes, I’d like that. We will have to organise a set time. Add me on Facebook, because I find their messaging service quite efficient. Or I can give you my number, I have it memorised.”

She ends up giving Kehlani her number, and once she leaves, Lauren decides to pack up her things as well. She’s too excited to concentrate on her work, and wants to get home to see Camila.

When she arrives at the apartment, she pounces on her girlfriend in a hug. “Camz! I made a new friend today, but I’m happier because it’s our anniversary. So- um, happy anniversary, even though I said that to you this morning.”

Camila grins. “Happy anniversary, baby. I love you so much.”

“Yes, I love you too,” Lauren rocks on her heels. “I’m very excited to see The Lion King.”

Camila ruffles her hair as she goes into the bedroom to get ready. “I’m excited too, because it means I’ll get to see you all bubbly and excited because you’re watching one of your special interests.”

Lauren nods, following Camila into the bedroom and raking through her closet for the simple black dress she’d been planning on wearing. “Camzi, will you do my makeup for me?”

“Of course, Lo,” Camila smiles, “Let me know when you’re ready for my obvious makeup talents.”

“Yes, I like the way you do my makeup, you’re very patient with me.” Lauren answers, missing Camila’s sarcasm. “I’m so excited, Camz.”

Camila pulls her in for a kiss. “I know, baby. I’m excited, too.”

“But- Camz,” Lauren shakes her head. “I get to see Nala!”

Camila laughs. “Most people would be hyped to see their girlfriend on their anniversary. But you? Nope, you’re excited to see a fictional lion. Camila who?”

“You’re Camila, silly,” Lauren rolls her eyes, and kisses her stuffed Nala on the top of her head. “I should message Alexa, because I know she’s not busy tonight, so she can watch my sons.”

Camila looks over at Dash and Leo with a smile. “We should hire her as our permanent dogsitter.”

Lauren’s jaw drops. “That’s a good idea!”

“Joking, baby,” Camila assures her, squeezing Lauren’s hand. She opens up her makeup drawer and smiles. “Let’s get you glammed up for Nala, alright?”

-

Camila thinks her favourite part of The Lion King show is her girlfriend’s reaction to everything. Lauren sings along to all of the songs, and when her favourite parts come up – aka every scene with Nala – she turns to Camila with wide eyes and the happiest smile Camila has ever seen.

It makes Camila’s heart soar, to see her girl so happy.

When they finally get out of the theatre and head home, Camila turns her phone on, and she can’t believe the masses of notifications she has. She thinks it’s a bug, that it’s the same notification repeated, but when she opens up the Twitter app, she almost faints.

Taylor Swift had shared one of her covers.

The mashup of Work and Energy, and old cover she’d posted just to get some content up, is suddenly at one million views, and her other videos are climbing quickly.

“Oh my god, Lauren,” Camila shows her girlfriend, and Lauren pulls her into a tight hug. “I can’t believe this.”

Lauren beams. “I can. I told you that you’d make it, Camz.”

-

“I’ve had the worst fucking day of my life,” Camila groans as she slams the apartment door, halfheartedly petting Dash and Leo before she goes into the kitchen for some comfort food. “I need cuddles, Lolo.”

“Okay.” Lauren sits up from where she was curled up on the couch, watching an episode of American Horror Story. “What happened?”

“Well, first, I got my grade back for an assignment and I completely failed.” Camila lists, her anger bubbling to the surface. “If that wasn’t bad enough, some guy spilled his coffee all over my favourite shirt, and didn’t even apologise. Like, who does that? And because of that, I missed my train back here, so I had to stand around for ages, and then I got an email that one of my professors wants to meet with me about my lack of progress.”

Lauren blinks, the information sinking in, and then she gets up, walking over to pull Camila in for a tight hug. “I’m sorry you had such a bad day, Camzi. But I can make it better for you!”

Camila just sighs. “Sure, okay.”

“First,” Lauren starts, letting go of Camila and rocking on her heels. “Follow me.”

Camila follows Lauren to the couch, and the older Latina reaches down and unbuttons Camila’s jeans. “Laur, I’m really not in the mood, okay?”

Lauren frowns. “You wanted cheering up.”

“Yeah, but not like that,” Camila sighs, moving Lauren’s fingers away from her jeans. “I just want to relax.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” Lauren laughs, “no pants is the best way to relax. So you should take them off. And then I’m going to wrap you up in a blanket.”

“Oh,” Camila smiles in spite of herself. “Okay then.”

She takes her jeans off, and Lauren folds them up and puts them aside, before grabbing her blue blanket from where she left it on the couch and bundling Camila up in it. Then, she picks up Nala and holds the stuffed lion out.

“Cuddle her.” Lauren instructs, and Camila reluctantly takes the toy, knowing how much it means to Lauren. “She’s magic and she’ll make you feel better.”

Then, Lauren turns on her heel and walks back into the kitchen, coming back five minutes later with a warm mug of cocoa and two poptarts on a plate.

Camila frowns. “You don’t have to do all of this.”

“It’s just cocoa.” Lauren shrugs, rocking on her heels. “Drink it, it’s my special recipe. It’s really nice.”

Camila takes a sip, because Lauren’s cocoa is the best she’s ever had, and rests her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Thank you, Lo. You’re so good to me.”

Lauren shrugs. “I like taking care of you. You deserve it, and you had a bad day, and I want you to be happy again.”

“Just being around you makes me happy,” Camila smiles, kissing Lauren’s cheek. “I love you so much.”

Lauren laughs. “You’re cheesy, but I love you too.”

Camila smiles, and goes to answer, probably something about how not cheesy she is, her phone rings. She groans and rolls her eyes, not bothering to check the caller ID before she picks it up. She really doesn’t want to talk to anyone right now. “What?”

A voice she doesn’t recognise speaks down the phone. “Is this Miss Camila Cabello?”

“Uh, yeah?” Camila frowns. “Look, I’ve had a bad day, so if this is some joke call from-”

“This isn’t a joke call.” The voice says again. “I’m calling on behalf of Epic Records.”

Camila’s eyes widen, and she’s about ninety percent sure she’s forgotten how to use her words, because she sits there in shock for an amount of time that isn’t socially acceptable, before Lauren pries the phone from her tight grip and speaks for her.

“Um, hello?” Lauren says, “Camz has gone all quiet and weird, she looks kind of shocked. Did someone die?”

Camila can’t hear the reply, and honestly, she doesn’t know if she’s upset about that or not. She turns to watch Lauren, to gauge the nature of the conversation, but Lauren mostly just hums along to whatever the person is saying. After a few minutes, her girlfriend finally speaks.

“I’m sure she’d love that.” Lauren says. “She’s available most weekdays and weekends, except for when she’s in her classes at college.”

Camila unfreezes and is quick to ask, “what is it? What’re you talking about?”

“Oh, she’s talking now!” Lauren announces, before she holds the phone out in Camila’s direction. “It’s for you.”

Camila takes the phone and sucks in a deep breath. “Uh, hello, this is Camila Cabello.”

“Ah, miss Cabello,” says the guy on the other end, “as I mentioned before, I’m calling on behalf of Epic Records. One of our talent scouts found your YouTube channel and recommended it to us. We’re calling about organising a meeting with you to discuss you possibly signing to our label. We explained this to your friend and she told us you’re free on most days.”

“Uh, yeah, I have a few college classes but I’m not in for a full day except Wednesdays.” Camila says, before she catches on to what he’d said before, deciding that she’s not going to get her hopes up about this if they won’t accept her as she is. “Also, uh, that was my girlfriend that you spoke to before. I hope you’re okay with me bringing her along just in case this is all some elaborate prank.”

“I assure you, it’s not a prank,” the guy says, “but feel free to bring her along to the meeting.”

When Camila hangs up, she has a meeting at Epic Records a week from then. She’s about eighty percent sure it’s a dream, but when Lauren announces Camz, you might have a record deal, she jumps up and does a happy dance that mostly consists of her shouting yes, yes, yes.

Lauren watches her with a proud smile on her face. “I knew you’d make it, Camzi. Just like I said last week, when you got retweeted. I’m smart.”

Camila pulls her in for a kiss, trying to communicate everything she feels through it. Thank you for believing in me, she tries to say, thank you for everything you do for me.

-

They go to the meeting, and Lauren is by her side the whole time, speaking for her when she finds the entire situation so hard to believe that she freezes up in shock. When they offer her a contract to look through and sign, she almost faints. It seems way too good to be true.

Never in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined she’d actually get a record deal.

She takes the contract home with her and starts to look through it, Lauren sat next to her and frowning at some of the things she reads out, asking her what it may imply. Camila explains it all to her girlfriend, and once they’d read it through twice, she signs it and sends it off to the people at Epic Records, her heart pounding in her chest.

-

She gets to work on her music straight away, and officially drops out of college. Unfortunately for her, she has less free time than she used to, because she goes to the studio in the mornings and stays until late at night. But it’s okay to Camila, because she writes about Lauren, and gets out everything the older girl makes her feel.

When her producers confirm they’re working on a full length album, not an EP, Camila decides then and there that she’s writing it to Lauren. Not to anybody else. This album is going to exist to show Lauren how she feels, and how she never wants those feelings to end.

-

“Camzi?”

Lauren shuts the door behind her as she calls out her girlfriend’s name. She knows that Camila had the day off today, and she’d promised that they’d go out on a date, since Lauren had barely seen her. She’s so proud of Camila, and she’s happy that her girlfriend is making her music, but she wishes she wasn’t being worked as hard.

It seems like the only time Lauren gets to see her is when she wakes up in the morning and Camila is passed out in their bed.

Lauren walks into the kitchen to get a drink and spots the note on the counter, frowning to herself. She picks it up and reads it through.

Lolo lion,

I had to go into the studio today, I had this song that I really wanted to get to my producers. Hint: it’s about you.

I love you so so so much and I promise on my next day off, we’ll go out on a proper date. My treat.

Love, Camila.

Lauren sighs when she finishes reading. Camila had cancelled their date, and Lauren had been looking forward to it so much; she’d rambled at Kehlani all through their study session about how excited she was to see Camila.

Lauren crumples up the note and tosses it in the recycling bin. This has really upset her; Camila knows she needs her routine, and she’d promised that they’d go out today, but now she’s ruined it by running away to the studio.

She’s always at the studio nowadays.

-

When Camila perfects Never Be the Same, she runs straight to the studio and shows it to her producers. She insists that it goes on the album, because she’d fight to the death for this song. It’s everything Lauren makes her feel, and this album is for Lauren.

She makes it back to the apartment at ten o’clock, after recording the demo for the track, and finds Lauren asleep on the couch, curled up under her blue blanket with Nala clutched to her chest. She smiles, and sits down on the floor in front of the couch, running her fingers through Lauren’s hair.

When Lauren’s eyes flutter open, Camila kisses her forehead. “Hey, baby. Sleepy?”

Camila’s smile falters when Lauren’s expression sinks into a frown. “You missed our date. You cancelled after you promised.”

“Lauren, baby,” Camila tries to make amends, “you don’t understand. I wrote this song, and I knew it had to be on the album. I’ve got the demo right here, and I want you to hear it. It’s about you, Lo.”

Lauren just stares at her, her expression cold, and not knowing what to do, Camila hits play on the song. Lauren’s expression softens throughout, until she’s finally smiling, and Camila pulls her in for a kiss when the song ends.

“See? This album… it’s for you, Laur,” Camila tells her, “if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have had the confidence to put my covers out there. I wouldn’t be here.”

“Okay,” Lauren sits up and pushes her hair back. “I’m not mad at you for cancelling. But- but it really upset me, because I needed my routine, and-”

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Camila apologises. “I wasn’t thinking and I’d barely slept because I stayed up until five working on this song. Once I’d perfected it in the morning, I knew I needed to record it. But I promise it won’t happen again.”

Finally, Lauren kisses her. “Okay. I love you.”

Camila beams. “I love you too.”

-

The second time it happens, Lauren is less forgiving. But then they go home for a little while, and everything is back how it was in high school, so Lauren forgets.

But she finds herself wishing they could stay in Miami. Back in New York, she wakes up to a sleeping Camila, comes home to an empty apartment, and goes to sleep in a cold and empty bed.

-

When Camila works over her birthday, Lauren eats the dinner she’d cooked for the two of them alone.

-

Camila keeps pushing back dates, and she knows she’s doing it, but she needs to get this album out. She’s putting her blood, sweat and tears into it, because it’s all for Lauren.

The label releases her first single, not from the album, but a standalone track, and it does pretty well. It’s not number one, but Crying in the Club sells a decent amount of copies, and Camila takes Lauren out with her first real paycheck.

Camila is so excited about her single that she doesn’t notice the sadness behind Lauren’s eyes.

-

“Lauren?” Camila frowns when she closes the apartment door and sees the lounge light still on. “Are you still up?”

She walks into the lounge, and finds Lauren sat on the couch, Dash in her lap. “Hi. I- I needed to talk to you.”

“Oh,” Camila replies, shrugging her coat off, “Okay. Is this about our date night? Because I promised you that we’d do it on Friday, and I’ve already made sure I have the day off-”

“It’s- um, it’s not about that,” Lauren shifts on the couch, “can you- can you sit down?”

Camila frowns at her, but sits down on the couch next to Lauren. She scratches Dash behind the ears, and gives Leo a pat, before looking up to her girlfriend with a smile. “What’s up, Lo?”

“I- um, well…” Lauren cuts herself off with a small sigh, and taps on her leg, one of her nervous stims. Camila can’t help but feel a little excited. Since she and Lauren had been together for two and a half years, maybe what they’ve always talked about is about to happen.

Camila’s heart hammers in her chest. Is Lauren going to propose?

But when Lauren speaks, the five words she says shatters Camila’s heart completely. “We need to break up.”

No, Camila thinks, I can’t have heard that right. So, she lets out a nervous laugh and asks, “What’d you say?”

“I said- um, I said we need to- we need to break up.” Lauren mumbles, looking down at her feet. “We need- um, to not be… a couple. Anymore.”

“But- Lauren,” Camila shakes her head, not believing what she’s hearing. Everything had been going great. They barely fight, and Camila was finally happy. “You’re joking, right? Is this a prank? Did Dinah put you up to this or something?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head, “It’s not- it’s not a prank. I’m… I want to- to break up.”

“But- you can’t,” Camila shakes her head, “everything is- we’re finally- everything is great! I have a fucking record deal, and you’re going to look after lions and- and we’re-”

“I know, that’s- I’m going to look after lions, yes, and you are… you are going to be very successful, from what- from what you’ve played me of your album, and from how well Crying in the Club did,” Lauren murmurs, “but… that’s kind of… why. Why I want to break up, I mean.”

“What?” Camila stares at her. “My album?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head, “Well, yes. But not- I’m really proud of you. And I know it’s going to do so well. But… but I can’t- you’re always gone, and you don’t- you don’t get back home until I’m already asleep. We might sleep in the same bed, but- but this is the first time I’ve seen you or spoken to you in two weeks. And before that- before that it was three weeks. And- and you’ve pushed back our date night for… for two months now. All because you’re spending so much time in the studio.”

Camila frowns at her. “I have to spend time there. But my album- it’s nearly finished! And the first single is going to be out in a month or so, and then I’ll be home-”

“You won’t be,” Lauren interrupts her, “You’ll be doing interviews and- and tours and you’ll be away. Because you’re- you’re a new artist, so… so the label will want to push you. And- and you won’t be here with me. You won’t be here for months.”

“We can make it work!” Camila is quick to argue. “FaceTime exists, and I can fly you out-”

“I have college classes and- and work to do for them.” Lauren cuts in again. “I can’t just- just drop everything for you.”

Camila shakes her head, “No. No, you’re not leaving me. You can’t.”

“It’s not like… it’s not like I’ll leave,” Lauren tells her, “I mean, I’ll always- I’ll always be your friend. But I can’t have a relationship with- with someone that I barely see anymore.”

“Hey, no,” Camila grabs Lauren’s hand, but the older girl still won’t look up, “you’re seeing me now, and-”

“It’s two in the morning,” Lauren points out, “the only reason I’m awake is because- because I needed to talk to you.”

“Laur, we can make this work, just please don’t break up with me,” Camila tries holding back her tears, because she never thought this would happen, but it doesn’t work. She thought Lauren was it for her. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Lauren murmurs, “but sometimes… sometimes love isn’t enough in relationships.”

Camila pulls Lauren in for a watery, desperate kiss. “It is enough. I can’t- I can’t lose you. I don’t get why you’re not- why you’re being so calm. This is- this is three years, Lauren. Nearly four.”

“I know,” Lauren looks up, her eyes watery, “it’s hurting me to do this. I don’t want- I don’t want to be without you, but I can’t- I can’t be with you right now. Our lives aren’t- they don’t fit anymore. You don’t fit with me, and I don’t fit with you. We love each other, but- but we’re going in different directions.”

Camila cries into Lauren’s shoulder, and the older girl pulls her in for a hug, rubbing comforting circles on her back. “Please don’t leave me.”

“I’ll always be here to support you, whenever you need it,” Lauren tells her, holding her tight. Camila never wants her to let go. “I- I love you so much, Camz. And you’re going to be so successful, and if you ever need anything, I’m there for you. But just as a friend.”

At the word friend, Camila cries even harder. “I can’t be just friends with you.”

“It’ll be… hard, to adjust. Especially for you, since I’ve… I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” Lauren mumbles, “but we will. We can be friends. And a part of me… a part of me will always be in love with you. But… we don’t fit right now. And that’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” Camila sobs. “It’s not. We can make ourselves fit.”

“That won’t work,” Lauren holds her tightly, “it’s like… we’re two pieces of a puzzle, but we’re not ones that fit together. Not right now. I can’t… I can’t just sit around and wait for the tiny amount of time I get to spend with you. We need to live our lives, and we can’t do that tied together. If you love something, set it free. That’s the saying, right?”

“I don’t-” Camila stands up, wiping at her eyes, “I can’t- I need space. If you’re really… if this is really over.”

“I know.” Lauren nods, “I do too. I’m- I’m staying at Alexa’s for a little while. But I- I need this… this apartment…”

Camila lets out a bitter laugh. “You’re kicking me out?”

“I’m- I’m not,” Lauren shifts uncomfortably, “it’s just… my- um, you’re going to be… away. So you don’t really use it, and… and I- you said you needed space, and- and it’s close to campus and I need it more than you do.”

“Okay,” Camila runs a hand through her hair, “Okay, you can- you can have the apartment.”

“I- um, yes,” Lauren taps on her leg and stands up, pointing to the door, “I’m going to- um… go to Alexa’s now.”

“You can’t- you can’t go in the middle of the night,” Camila shakes her head, “it’s New York. You’ll get stabbed or something.”

To her surprise, Lauren lets out a laugh. It’s weak, but it’s there. “I guess not. I’ll- um, I’ll just… sleep here.”

“Go to bed, Lauren,” Camila tells her, too tired to fight, “I’ll sleep on the couch. I’ll be- I’ll be at the studio in the morning anyway, so…”

Lauren stares at her for a moment, and looks over at the bedroom door, then back to Camila. “Is it… is it okay if I- if I kiss you? To- um, to say goodbye?”

“No,” Camila answers quickly. She wouldn’t be able to take that. “Just go to bed, Lauren.”

“I- um,” Lauren darts towards the bedroom, shouting an awkward, “Goodnight,” before she slams the door behind her, Dash and Leo following at her heels.

A few hours later, when Camila is still lying awake, crying on the couch, she wishes she’d said yes.

-

Camila leaves before Lauren wakes up in the morning, and calls Dinah, crying down the phone to her best friend. The only good thing that comes out of the breakup is her songs, but they’re so depressing that everyone keeps asking her if she’s okay, and she has to refrain from breaking down at the thought of Lauren.

She knows that Lauren still wants to be friends, but she just can’t. Not right now, when the wound is still fresh.

When she gets back to the apartment after a long day at the studio, it’s empty. No sign of Lauren, Leo or Dash. She finds a note on the counter, and Lauren’s neat handwriting makes her heart hurt.

Camila,

I’m staying with Alexa for three weeks, and if it’s okay, could you please have your things cleared out by then?

I’m really sorry about everything, and I love you so much, but I can’t be with you right now. It hurts, but we’ll both get over it, and we can still be friends!

See you when we’re both ready,

Love, Lauren.

Camila wants to cry, but she’s not sure she has enough tears left. She doesn’t think she’ll ever be ready to face Lauren again.

She decides to text Shawn, and ask if it’s okay with him and his roommate, Troye, if she crashes in their dorm for a few nights while she figures things out.

-

When Lauren wakes up the day after the breakup, Camila is already gone, like she is every day. For a moment, Lauren forgets; she has a class, and she’s used to her girlfriend – ex-girlfriend – being away a lot of the time, but when she remembers what she’d done, she feels empty in her chest.

She looks down at Dash with teary eyes and lets out a long sigh. “I’m single, Dash.”

Dash nuzzles against her leg like he understands, and Leo comes trotting over from his basket to do the same, and Lauren weakly smiles down at them both.

She doesn’t eat breakfast – she’s not hungry, and even though she knows it’s because she’s sad, she doesn’t care. She heads out to her class early, texting Normani on her way there.

Laur (8:31AM): I broke up with Camila.

Manibear (8:32AM): really? I didn’t think you’d do it. How are you feeling, Lo?

Laur (8:32AM): Bad. I miss her already but I know we can’t be together right now. Can you come up to New York?

Manibear (8:33AM): Sorry, Laur, but I have a lot going on here with college. I’d be there if I could. Why don’t you go and talk to Alexa?

Not wanting to miss her class, Lauren decides that when it’s finished, she’ll go home, get Dash, Leo and her things and head over to Alexa’s. Alexa knew what she was going to do, and promised Lauren a place to stay if she needs it.

Lauren had decided to give Camila a little while to get her things, and she thought she’d need space. Even though Lauren still wants Camila in her life, she knows that it’ll be hard, and that it’ll take a while.

Either way, Lauren is willing to wait for a friendship, no matter how much it’ll hurt her heart.

When she goes home the next day to grab a few things she’d forgotten, she finds Camila’s things gone and her abuela’s old ring on the kitchen counter.

-

Two months later, and it feels like Lauren can’t escape Camila, whatever she does.

When Camila’s second single had come out, a month and a half after their breakup, Lauren had messaged her, telling her that she was proud, and hoped the song did well. Camila never responded, but she read it, so Lauren hopes that maybe it made her smile.

But Camila’s song did really well, and it’s everywhere, playing on the radio wherever Lauren goes. She knows it’s about her, and it hurts. I Have Questions is a scathing song, and it makes Lauren’s heart ache, because she hadn’t meant to hurt Camila. She loves her, and she wishes they could be friends again.

When Havana comes out, it’s even worse. It plays everywhere, and Lauren wishes she could be there to support Camila, but she finds herself leaving stores when she hears the opening notes.

-

Camila knows she should be happy that her music is doing well, and she is.

But most of her album was about her and Lauren, and none of the songs are really applicable anymore. She scraps a few of them, replacing them with breakup songs like Consequences and Something’s Gotta Give. But tracks like Into It, Inside Out and Never Be the Same, she loves them too much to let them go.

She misses Lauren, but she can’t make herself reply to the message she’d gotten about I Have Questions, which she wrote about twelve hours after their breakup, because she doesn’t know what she would say.

The worst thing is the interviews. Interviewers are nosy, and they only really care about who she’s dating and what she’s doing in her personal life, and having to say, “Yes, I’m single,” in every interview really pours salt into the still open wound Lauren left her with.

-

Five months after their breakup, they finally talk again.

It’s a simple text message, on the release date of Camila’s album.

Lolo lion (11:32AM): Happy album release day! It’s an amazing album, I’ve already listened to the whole thing, and I’m so proud of you. Hope you’re doing well.

Lolo lion (11:32AM): This is Lauren, by the way, if you didn’t keep my number, because I read that sometimes people delete their ex’s number.

Camz (12:23PM): still google searching i see

Camz (12:23PM): thank you for the message, lauren. it means a lot. and no, i never deleted your number

-

At Camila’s response, Lauren’s heart soars, because maybe Camila is ready to be friends again.

-

When she’s typing out her reply, Camila thinks that maybe she’s ready to be around Lauren again, when her schedule isn’t so hectic.

(She’s also starting to believe that Lauren might’ve been right five months ago.)

-

On what would have been their three year anniversary, Camila swears she sees Lauren in the crowd at one of her shows.

-

Lauren has seen Camila in concert twice. Once, at her first New York show, before they exchanged messages a few weeks ago, and the second time, on what would’ve been their three year anniversary. It’s nice to see Camila again, but she has to admit that there’s a dull pain in her chest when she realises that Camila has moved on.

She’s happy that Camila is happy, but she’d had hope that one day, they’d find each other again.

-

Lucy comes up to visit from New Orleans on Halloween, and Lauren is excited, because she hadn’t seen Lucy since she went home for the summer.

There’s no doubt in her mind that Lucy is her soulmate, because a few months after she’d broken up with Camila, she found out that Lucy and Keana were on a break, since they were going to separate colleges and both decided that long distance was too hard.

Lauren and Lucy spend the night watching scary movies, and Lucy tells her about college, and how she hadn’t really made any friends, aside from one nice girl she shares a class with named Sarah.

Halfway through Nightmare on Elm Street, and Lucy is talking about her philosophy classes with so much passion that it makes Lauren’s heart soar, and she leans in and kisses her.

It’s not Camila, but it’s nice, and nice is okay with Lauren.

They end up hooking up, and when they’re next to each other in Lauren’s bed, Lucy tracing patterns over Lauren’s bare tummy, Lauren says, “Would you like to- um, be friends with benefits?”

“Okay,” Lucy replies, “but what kind of benefits? Will you buy me pizza?”

Lauren laughs, “No, Luc, sex is the benefit. Don’t worry, I didn’t know what it meant either, until Alexa joked about it with me.”

Lauren wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to have a casual relationship, but she’s still so lonely, and being with Lucy had helped fill the space in her heart Camila left her with. Not entirely, but enough to help her forget for a while.

“Oh,” Lucy shrugs, “okay, I guess sex is as good as pizza.”

Lauren hums in thought. “I don’t think it is. Because if you were on a desert island, sex wouldn’t help you, because you’d starve to death. But pizza would, therefore it’s better.”

“Yes, but I’m not going to a desert island,” Lucy replies, turning to Lauren with a smile, “can I paint you?”

Lauren nods. “Okay.”

Lucy paints Lauren in bright colours, and Lauren thinks that maybe one day, she’ll feel that bright again.

-

When Camila is shopping in New York with her mom, she spots something that feels like a knife to the gut.

Lauren is in the same store as her, and when her mom goes to call her over, Camila nearly lets her. But then Lucy comes into view, holding a few sweaters up to show Lauren. Lauren beams, and Lucy throws her arms around Lauren, and when she pulls away, she grabs Lauren’s hand and doesn’t drop it as they walk to the checkout.

She knows she has no right to be jealous, but deep down, she’d always had hope that Lauren would come back to her.

-

Camila gets outed by the media, but it’s not like it’s her fault. While she made new social media accounts when her music started gaining popularity, and privated the old ones, Lauren hadn’t, and Lauren’s pictures on Instagram weren’t private.

Old posts, like ones they’d taken at Disney and anniversary and birthday pictures are leaked and spread like wildfire, and she has to deal with people in interviews asking, “Who’s Lauren?” and having to explain that she’s an ex-girlfriend.

One interview in particular upsets her.

“So, Camilla,” the interviewer says, and Camila already wants to crawl under a rock and die, “recently there have been some pictures leaked of you and a girl. Is she your girlfriend? It’s okay, you can admit it-”

“First, it’s Camila. And no, she’s not,” Camila snaps, “she’s not my girlfriend and I’m sick of people asking me about it. Yes, I’m bi, okay? But Lauren is an ex, and we broke up a year ago. How would you like to be constantly reminded about someone who broke your heart? Go fuck yourself.”

Her manager, Roger, scolds her for snapping, but Camila doesn’t care.

She gets a text from Lauren after the interview is uploaded onto YouTube, and the message breaks her heart.

Lolo lion (7:32PM): I’m sorry I let those pictures get out. I should’ve privated my Instagram or something. And I’m sorry for breaking your heart.

Camz (7:36PM): im not mad at you, im mad at the media and stupid interviewers haha

Lolo lion (7:37PM): I’m still sorry. You can rant at me if you’d like.

Camz (7:41PM): no, that’s okay

Camz (7:41PM): how are you?

Lolo lion (7:41PM): I’m great! I got an internship at a zoo, I get to help with the smaller animals, but hopefully they’ll hire me and I’ll get to look after the big cats! :)

Lolo lion (7:42PM): How about you?

Camz (7:43PM): ive been better

Lolo lion (7:43PM): Well, I’m always here if you need to talk. :)

Camila really wishes her ex wasn’t the sweetest person in the world. It’d make things way easier if Lauren was a jerk.

-

The first time they see each other again, properly, is a year and a half after the breakup. They text, but not regularly, and Lauren is always the one to message first, but she doesn’t mind.

Camila finally has some time off for Christmas and New Year and after seeing her family in Miami, she decides to go down to California to visit Dinah and Normani for New Year’s Eve. She arrives at their apartment, and Normani takes her bags with a smile, while Dinah asks her all about any celebrities she’s met, and if she knows when she’ll get to meet Beyoncé, so Dinah can be her plus one to that event.

Camila’s heart stops when she hears a bang from the kitchen, and then a familiar raspy voice shouting, “Um, Mani, I think I broke your toaster.”

Camila pushes past Dinah, who mutters rude under her breath, and heads into the kitchen, where she meets those bright green eyes for the first time in what feels like forever.

Lauren blinks at her, before directing her gaze to the floor. “Um… hi.”

“Hey,” Camila watches Lauren, unable to believe that she’s here. On the exact same day that Camila happens to be.

(She’s going to talk to Dinah about this strange coincidence later.)

“I didn’t- um,” Lauren shrugs, “know you were coming.”

Camila shrugs. “I didn’t know you were here. I think we were set up.”

“Yes, most likely,” Lauren taps her hand against her pants leg, “Can I- um… can I hug you?”

After a few moments, Camila smiles, and holds out her arms. “Come here.”

Lauren practically pounces on her, and Camila wraps her arms around her ex, missing how they fit together perfectly and Lauren’s soft hair and calming scent. She doesn’t know how she managed to go so long without this.

“I missed you so much,” Camila mumbles against her, “can we- can we please be friends? Like, properly?”

Lauren pulls away, beaming. “Yes! I’ve been wanting that for a while, but I felt like maybe I was annoying you by texting you.”

“You could never annoy me,” Camila assures her, “are the dogs here? I miss them.”

“No, they’re in New York, Alexa is looking after them for me,” Lauren says, “she’s nice. She said they’re never any trouble, because I have them well trained.”

Camila hums in reply. “Is anyone else here?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head, “why would anyone else be here? Ally’s not coming until tomorrow, and- and… everyone else I know is busy. Lucy is in New Orleans-”

“Are you two dating?” Camila blurts out, before she clamps her hand over her mouth and shakes her head, “I’m sorry, that was so out of line, just-”

“No, we’re not,” Lauren frowns at her, “why would you think that?”

“I, um…” Camila sighs, “Honestly? I saw you two. Together. She- you were holding hands and- and it looked like more than it used to.”

“Oh,” Lauren taps on the kitchen counter, “I- um, yeah, well… I mean, we- we’ve hooked up, but we’re not- I’m not- it’s- Lucy can’t do long distance, and neither can I, really, but… but when I’m lonely- um… I’m single.”

“That’s, uh,” Camila cuts herself off, but she feels like jumping onto the counter and doing a happy dance, because if Lauren isn’t with anybody, it’s going to make being friends much easier. “I am, too. Single, I mean.”

“I know, I watch your interviews and that’s all they ever ask you,” Lauren says, “it’s like they don’t know any other questions.”

Camila actually laughs, “God, I know! Like, be more creative! I like the ones where I get to play games.”

Lauren hums. “I like watching those ones. You smile in them, and I like when you’re happy. Anyway, I’m going to watch TV now. Don’t tell Mani that I broke the toaster, I don’t think she heard me when I called.”

With that, Lauren walks past her and into the lounge, and Camila fights back a smile. Lauren’s compliment made her stomach flip, and the random subject change and abrupt conversation end makes her heart ache, because it’s so Lauren, and she misses it.

Camila has tried to move onto someone else, but whenever she meets a guy or girl at an event, they’re always so irritatingly generic. Nobody seems interesting compared to Lauren.

But she’s going to ignore all of that, because friendship is the best option here.

-

The next day, when Ally arrives, Dinah and Normani take them to the beach, and Lauren buys three ice creams all to herself. Camila teases her about it, and Lauren’s cheeks flush pink.

(She offers Camila her third cone, because it’s melting anyway.)

Camila isn’t a fan of strawberry ice cream, but she eats it anyway, because it’s Lauren offering it.

When they head over to the sand, Dinah lets out a loud, definitely over-exaggerated sigh. “Damn it. I forgot Mila’s towel. Guess you’re going to have to share with Ralph.”

Camila rolls her eyes, but Lauren, not getting that Dinah had purposely forgotten to put Camila’s towel in the trunk, just shrugs, and once she finishes her ice cream, lays out her lion towel and pats the spot next to her.

Camila sits down with a smile. “Thanks for sharing, Lauren.”

“You’re welcome,” Lauren flashes her a smile, “I like my towel. It has lions on it.”

“I can see that,” Camila says, looking down at the towel. When Lauren doesn’t reply, and searches through her bag for a book, Camila nudges her and says, “hey, Laur, tell me a lion fact.”

Lauren looks like someone had just told her she’s getting a free pet lion, she’s that ecstatic. “Oh, I’ve learned so much in my animal studies class, you wouldn’t believe! Did you know that…”

Camila watches as Lauren rambles on about lions with a dazed smile on her face, because Lauren is so happy, and it’s the cutest thing she’s ever seen. God, she misses this, and it feels so natural, even though she knows that she and Lauren are meant to be more than just friends.

When Lauren is done telling her everything she knows about lions, and goes back to reading her book, Camila opens her phone up and goes to Twitter, immediately wishing she hadn’t straight after she opens the app.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Camila throws her phone down on the towel. “I hate this.”

Dinah looks over at her with a frown. “What’s wrong, Chancho?”

“Apparently I have a fucking stalker, because there are already five different articles about me and Lauren,” Camila huffs, passing Dinah her phone, “someone took pictures of us when we were getting ice cream.”

Dinah shrugs. “Lauser doesn’t care. Why do you?”

“Because people are going to ask me stupid questions about it,” Camila rolls her eyes, “You know, sometimes I hate the internet.”

Picking up on Camila’s bad mood, Lauren looks up from her book. “What’s wrong, Camz?”

Camila freezes at the old nickname, and she feels like she wants to throw up. Lauren hadn’t called her that yet, and she’s not sure whether she wants to laugh or cry.

She gathers her thoughts and shrugs, “Nothing’s wrong, Lauren.”

“Okay,” Lauren turns back to her book, but after a few moments, looks up again, “are you sure? Because I can’t read your body language, but you’re not smiling.”

Camila cracks a genuine smile at that, because Lauren is a total sweetheart. “I’m fine, Laur. Promise.”

Lauren hums in reply. “Okay then. I am going to read now.”

Camila smiles. “You do that, babe.”

When she realises what she’d said, her face falls, and she slaps a hand to her forehead. Lauren stares at her weirdly, but other than that, doesn’t comment on it. Instead, she just shrugs and turns back to her book.

When she turns back around, Dinah and Normani are sending her a teasing smirk, while Ally shakes her head at them in disapproval.

-

On New Year’s Eve, Normani throws a small party, and Camila drinks a little more than she should.

It’s just Dinah, Normani, Ally, Lauren, and a few of Dinah and Mani’s friends from college, but Camila drinks most of the alcohol, not caring much when Normani’s college friend, who’d arrived late, spots her and shouts, “Oh my god, you’re Camila Cabello.”

Camila, already drunk, just laughs. “No, I’m not. I’m her twin sister.”

Lauren frowns at her. “Camz, what are you talking about? You don’t have a twin.”

“Shush, Lauren!” Camila giggles. “You’re blowing my cover, you silly bean.”

Lauren laughs and takes a sip out of the juice box she’s drinking. “I’m not a bean. I’m a human. A human bean.”

“You’re so funny,” Camila stands up, staggering a little, and sits down next to Lauren on the couch. “You’re a funny bunny.”

Lauren smiles at her. “You’re drunk. I’m not, and I won’t get drunk or high, so I can drive you to the pizza place later, since that’s your drunk food.”

“I can just make them come here,” Camila shrugs, “by magic. Or by telephone. Whatever.”

Normani’s friend, the one who’d recognised her, frowns. “Are you two dating?”

“Oh my god, no,” Camila rolls her eyes, “we used to, but she dumped me. She’s mean. I have to pee.”

Camila staggers away into the bathroom, but frowns when someone steadies her and leads her towards the guest bedroom that Lauren and Ally are sharing.

When she looks up, she sees Lauren. “What are you doing?”

“You don’t really think I’m mean, do you?” Lauren asks, and helps Camila onto the bed. “I didn’t mean to be mean, and I didn’t- I didn’t dump you. I just… gently broke up with you.”

“I don’t think you’re mean,” Camila comments, before she looks around and frowns. “This isn’t the bathroom. I can’t pee in here.”

“Oh, um, there’s one through that door, though,” Lauren points, and Camila staggers towards the door. Lauren stops her. “Not that one, that’s the closet.”

Camila snorts. “My old home!”

“Camz,” Lauren laughs, “go to the bathroom!”

Camila opens the door and leans against the door frame. She sends Lauren a smirk and points at her. “I,” Camila announces, “will be right back. You wait there.”

“I’ll wait here,” Lauren confirms for her, “I’ll be right here when you get back.”

Camila goes to the bathroom, and when she opens the door, she lets out a loud gasp. “Lauren! You’re still here.”

Lauren frowns. “I said I would be.”

“I know, you’re a sweet little slice of pie,” Camila pats Lauren on the top of her head, “I have a request!”

“Okay,” Lauren smiles, “what’s your request?”

Camila hums in thought, but her drunk mind thinks it’s a good idea for her to keep her smart plan a secret. “Never mind, I forgot it.”

“Okay then,” Lauren smiles, “would you like to go back to the party?”

“No,” Camila shakes her head, “I’d like to stay here. With you.”

Lauren shifts a little, but nods and taps her hands on her legs. “What would you like to do?”

“You know I can’t watch The Lion King anymore without crying? Like, I became immune to the Mufasa death because we watched it so much, but,” Camila huffs, “now even the opening makes me bawl my eyes out. That’s your fault.”

“Oh, um,” Lauren looks at her feet, “I’m sorry.”

“And did you know that every other person in this stupid fucking world is like, so stale to me? Because you’re like… you’re like all of the fucking colours in the world. You’re a kaleidoscope, and everyone else is a dull grey.” Camila rants. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you, but I just couldn’t because it made me sad. Like, yeah, Lauren, you broke my fucking heart, and while that’s great songwriting material, it sucks the rest of the time.”

Lauren taps on her leg. “I think I’m going to go.”

When Camila hears their friends counting down to midnight in the other room, she shakes her head. The countdown hits one, and she pulls Lauren in for a kiss, not at all expecting to be kissed back, but Lauren reciprocates, her hands resting on Camila’s waist.

They pull apart when Dinah bursts into the room, takes one look at them, shouts, “Don’t worry, they’re not fucking,” and turns around, closing the door behind her.

Camila looks over at Lauren. “I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have kissed you.”

Not that she regrets it. She says goodbye to 2019 with her lips against Lauren’s, and she wished she could’ve had that for 2018. But no. Lauren left her that year, and that was all she could think about when she spent New Year’s Eve alone.

“I liked it,” Lauren shrugs, “I- I missed… kissing you.”

“I missed kissing you too,” Camila rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder, “Please take me back.”

Lauren shakes her head. “You’re drunk.”

“I know I’m drunk,” Camila retorts, “But I also know that I’m in love with you. I want forever with you.”

Lauren hums. “Talk to me when you’re not drunk. Because it’s… it’s a serious thing. And- and I’m not sure… if we’re there yet. You’re still so busy and I- I need someone who can be there with me.”

“We’re both adults,” Camila points out, “we can make time. I really love you, Lo. So much. You’re my Lolo lion.”

Lauren turns bright red. “I- um… yes. Yes, I am.”

-

Camila wakes up with a pounding headache, but she doesn’t care when she remembers her conversation with Lauren from the night before. She jumps up out of bed and runs into the lounge, where she finds a lonely Lauren watching The Lion King.

“Lauren!” Camila exclaims. “I’m sober and ready to talk.”

Lauren hums. “Okay. After my movie.”

Camila can’t help it. She bursts out laughing, staring at the girl she fell in love with in complete adoration. “Okay. Mind if I watch with you?”

Lauren pats the spot next to her, so Camila sits down, surprised when Lauren lets her have some blanket. She snuggles up to her friend, resting her head on Lauren’s shoulder, and watches The Lion King with a smile on her face.

When the movie ends, Lauren turns to her and says, “What would you like to talk about?”

“Us,” Camila responds, “you said last night, to talk to you when I’m sober. About getting back together.”

Lauren stares at her. “You really meant the stuff you said?”

“Every fucking word,” Camila promises, “being with you and the girls for this past week… it’s been perfect. It made me realise just how in love with you I really am, and always will be, and I’m going to fight for you, Lauren Michelle Jauregui. And I still have time off, until mid January. After that, we can make plans, sort things out. Make time for each other. If… if you’ll have me.”

Lauren taps on her leg and snuggles Nala up to her chest. “Um… I have one condition.”

Camila frowns. “What is it?”

“You can’t- um,” Lauren looks at her feet, “You can’t make fun of my hat ever again.”

Camila stares at her for a moment, before she bursts out laughing. “Really, Lauren?”

“I’m serious!” Lauren folds her arms across her chest. “Promise me. No more jokes about my hat.”

“You haven’t worn it for years!” Camila points out. “What’s the point?”

“I wore it three weeks ago!” Lauren defends herself. “Promise me.”

“Okay, fine,” Camila says, “no more hat jokes. I promise.”

After a few moments, Lauren beams. “Okay. But- um, for the real condition, you need to- you need to promise me you’ll make time. I don’t want to see you once ever- um, I don’t want there to be big gaps.”

“I swear it.” Camila takes Lauren’s hand and squeezes it. “I’ll make time for you. As long as you’ll do the same for me.”

“Yes, of course I will.” Lauren bobs her head in reply. “I would- um, I would like to go on a date tonight. If that’s okay.”

Camila squeals and holds her arms out, and Lauren cuddles up to her. Camila kisses the top of Lauren’s head and says, “It’s going to be the best date ever.”

When Camila gets up to make breakfast, Lauren stops her. “Wait, I have a question.”

“Okay,” Camila nods, “go ahead.”

“Are we, um… are we dating friends? Do we have to do all of that again?” Lauren asks. “Or can we pick up where we left off? Can I- can I call you my girlfriend?”

Camila smiles to herself. “Well, I don’t know. I’m going to call my girlfriend, Lauren Michelle Jauregui, and find out.”

“Is that a yes?” Lauren asks, and beams when Camila nods. “Okay. I promise I will not break up with you this time, as long as you make time for me.”

Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “Always.”

“Well, um,” Lauren looks down at her feet, “can I kiss you?”

“Lauren,” Camila cups Lauren’s face in her hands, “please kiss me.”

Lauren pulls her in for a kiss, and it’s soft and gentle and feels so right because it’s Lauren kissing her, and while Camila has always been cynical and didn’t entirely believe in the concept of true love, she knows that Lauren is hers.

When they break apart, a loud, slow clap sounds from the door.

Camila looks up to see Dinah and Normani stood in the frame of their bedroom door, smirking at them. Dinah smiles. “I knew we could fix them.”

Camila scoffs. “You didn’t fix anything.”

“Please,” Normani laughs, “we’re better captains than you ever were.”

“Yep,” Dinah agrees, “this whole thing was a setup, you know?”

Camila rolls her eyes, because obviously it was a setup, but Lauren, sweet, adorable Lauren, just tilts her head to the side and says, “Really? I thought it was just a coincidence that Camz and I were both here.”

“No, Laur,” Normani laughs, “we did that on purpose. Because you both missed each other, and I knew you wanted her in your life still. I wasn’t entirely sure that this would happen, but Captain Dinah over here was certain.”

Lauren just hums to herself. “Okay then. Well, either way, I am happy, but I wouldn’t change things.”

Camila frowns at her. “What do you mean?”

“Our break was good for us,” Lauren decides, “because we needed time apart. It made us both evaluate this relationship and realise that it’s what we both want, and we’re willing to work for it. Before, it was just like, oh, we’ve been together for a long time, and this is just our life and we love each other and we’re in a relationship, but not really bothering with it much. Now we understand. Anyway, I knew we’d find our way back to each other, because you’re my Camz. You’re meant for me.”

Camila knows she’s teary eyed, and she cuddles up next to Lauren, burying her face in her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Thank you for loving me again.”

Lauren kisses the top of her head. “I never stopped.”

Dinah balks. “I’m starting to regret this now. I forgot how fucking cheesy you two are.”

Lauren snorts, but stands up, tapping her hands against her pants. “I’m going to go and text all of my friends and tell them the good news.”

Before anyone can say anything, Lauren has skipped off into the guest room to get her phone, Camila smiling after her.

-

Compared to the everlasting bad mood Camila had been in for the past year, she literally feels like the happiest woman alive, and she’s not letting anybody compromise that, especially not her and her stupid schedule.

She makes sure to call people and tell them flat out that she’s not doing anything on her twenty-first birthday, because she’s spending that with Lauren, and then calls her mom and says sorry, you can’t always be my guest on tours anymore, and when Sinu asks why and gets the news that she and Lauren are back together, they spend hours on the phone, Camila gushing about how happy she is.

After talking to her parents for hours, Camila joins her friends and girlfriend – she’s not going to stop saying that any time soon – in the lounge. “What are we doing today?”

“Aren’t you hungover?” Ally asks her. “You were pretty drunk.”

Camila shrugs. “I don’t really get hangovers. Besides, even if I was, I wouldn’t care. I’m too happy to care.”

Lauren comes in from the kitchen with a sandwich. “Why are you happy?”

“Because I’m back together with you and your ugly hat,” Camila teases her. Lauren just rolls her eyes and sits down next to her on the couch, offering her half of the turkey sandwich on her plate. “I’m serious though, Lauren. You make me so happy.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “Happier than bananas?”

“Totally,” Camila agrees, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “Happier than anything.”

“Oh, um, I have a thing for you,” Lauren says, but before Camila can ask what, Lauren is pulling a ring from her index finger and dropping it into Camila’s palm. “My abuela’s old ring. It’s yours, I never wanted you to give it back.”

Camila frowns down at it. “We broke up. Obviously you’d want it back.”

“No, because you’re my Camz, we were going to get back together all along,” Lauren rolls her eyes like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I knew. You never- you never stopped wearing your matata spinner ring, so I knew… I knew you missed me.”

“I’d never not miss you,” Camila says, “come back to Miami with me. From here, I mean. I’m going to see my family, but… your family live there too, you can go and see them.”

“But… I left Dash and Leo with Alexa,” Lauren hums in thought, “it wouldn’t be fair to leave them for longer.”

“Then we’ll go and get the dogs.” Camila says. “I miss them, anyway. We’ll get Dash and Leo, and then we’ll go to Miami. We can drive! Have a cute road trip. With dogs.”

Lauren hums. “Like a date?”

“Yeah,” Camila nods. “Like a date. Us and the dogs.”

“Okay then,” Lauren replies, “will you sing for me on our road trip?”

“Sorry, babe,” Camila teases her, “you’ve got to pay for that.”

“Oh, well…” Lauren trails off, “I will pay you if you’d like.”

“I was joking,” Camila kisses her cheek, “you know I wouldn’t make you pay for that.”

“Well, technically you have, because I’ve seen your concert twice,” Lauren taps on her leg, “you were very good.”

“You’ve…” Camila trails off, and her eyes widen, “did you come to the New York show? On October 22nd? In 2018?”

“Yes,” Lauren answers, “why?”

“I saw you!” Camila stares at her. “I thought I was going crazy, but I saw you in the crowd. God, I nearly burst into tears right there. I was like you’ve finally lost it, Cabello.”

“You lost it a while ago. You’ve always been crazy.” Lauren points out, before she grins and murmurs. “Only joking.”

“You can’t joke about things that’re true, Lolo,” Camila smiles back at her, and Lauren’s stomach flips. “Everyone knows I went nuts a long time ago.”

Lauren smiles at her. “Can I- um… is our anniversary on January 1st, now? Or are we going back to the old one? Because we got back together today, but we initially got together on October 22nd in 2015. So… do I count from that?”

Camila shrugs, and sends Lauren a grin. “How about both? Two anniversaries, because we’re extra cool.”

Lauren beams. “Yes. I’d like that.”

Camila pulls Lauren in for another kiss, because she can’t seem to stop doing that. “So, um, would you be okay with telling my… god, I hate this word, but my fans? Or… would you rather keep us private?”

Lauren blinks at her in surprise. “Why would I want to keep you secret? You’re my Camz. Everyone knows that.”

“I know, but Laur, it’s different now. And I need you to know what to expect if we decide to tell everyone.” Camila tries to emphasise. “A lot of the people who support my music aren’t so nice when they think I’m linked to someone romantically. They saw pictures of me hanging out with Shawn and I was getting all sorts of horrible tweets about him, and I don’t want them to hurt you.”

“Camzi, I’m a big girl,” Lauren answers. “I can handle myself and- and you know that I love myself. I don’t care what people think now, and if they’re mean, I can say they’re ableist. Besides, um, when our old pictures got leaked, I got a few mean comments on pictures from your supporters and it didn’t bother me. The only one that really got to me was when someone said I never deserved you. Because a long time ago I believed that.”

“I know you’re good at ignoring people, babe. I just… really love you and want to make sure you’re okay with it?” Camila double checks, and Lauren bobs her head in confirmation. “Alright then. Come here. It’s selfie time. I’ll announce it in a casual Instagram post.”

Lauren nods, and cuddles up close to Camila. The younger Latina is looking at Lauren as she takes the photo, and at the older girl’s adorable smile, Camila feels so much love in her heart.

She posts the photo with the simple caption if you send my beautiful girlfriend mean comments I’ll personally fight you, I love you Lolo lion. Then, she shuts her phone off, not prepared for the possible angry texts she’ll get from Roger and the rest of her team later for not consulting them. But frankly, Camila couldn’t give half a fuck. Her relationship is hers, and she doesn’t need to consult her manager when it comes to Lauren.

After a few minutes, Lauren’s phone is continually buzzing, and Camila notices all of the Instagram notifications. “Lots of people are following me.”

Camila smiles. “It’s because you’re a cutie.”

“Yes.” Lauren agrees with her, turning her phone off too. “I don’t- um, I didn’t bring any date clothes. Because I didn’t think I’d be going on any dates. So all I have are my jeans and sweaters.”

“Good thing I love your sweaters then, Laur,” Camila answers, and Lauren hums and gets herself comfortable. “It won’t be a super high maintenance date. I’ve seen you puke before, so… you don’t have to worry about making yourself presentable.”

Lauren laughs. “Can we go to Five Guys?”

“Sure, baby,” Camila plays with Lauren’s hair. “Whatever you want.”

“But, no,” Lauren sits up, shaking her head. “We have to do what you want, too. It’s not fair if we just go to places I like.”

Camila laughs. “I like burgers too, Lo.”

“I know, but I want to be a good girlfriend and treat you right, and- and-” Lauren cuts herself off with a sigh. “I just really want to make up for breaking your heart.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip to hide her smile, because Lauren really is the sweetest person alive. “Laur, baby… even though it hurt at the time, you were right. We needed our time apart. I was taking you for granted at the time and… like I said, it hurt a lot, but helped us, too.”

Lauren nods. “Okay. Um… will you be away lots, though? Because that… that would really hurt.”

“Laur, I promised I’d do the best that I can. Obviously I’ll have tours, but you can come with me as my guest, and I’ll be there whenever you need me.” Camila kisses Lauren’s forehead. “I promise. I’ll make time. And if I say we have a date, then we have a date. Managers and impromptu recording sessions be damned.”

“Okay.” Lauren squeezes her hand. “On second thought, can we order takeout and watch a movie? I promise it won’t be The Lion King.”

“Let me guess,” Camila laughs, “It’ll be The Lion King 2.”

Lauren blushes, but shakes her head. “No. I want to watch a movie that you pick. And then- um, I’ll pick the takeout. But it’ll probably just be Chinese.”

“Alright, babe.” Camila smiles. “I’d like that a lot.”

-

As expected, Camila gets the angry call from Roger, telling her that announcements like that are supposed to be approved by her PR team, but Camila rolls her eyes as she listens to his rant. When he’s talking about the consequences of Camila’s actions, the Latina shrugs.

“I mean, the media already knows I’m bi, and if they think I lied about my breakup with Lauren, that’s their problem.” Camila shrugs. “People get back together all the time. Anyway, it’s not like it’s any of their business.”

“Camila, when you become an artist your life becomes the public interest,” Roger sighs, and Camila mouths along, because she’s heard that a million times before. “You need to talk these things through with me.”

“It was mine and Lauren’s decision. It’s our relationship and we decide who knows.” Camila defends herself. “I love her, and I know I’m going to marry her one day. Why shouldn’t the fans know?”

Roger sighs. “Fine. But next time you decide to make things of this scale public, at least warn me about it.”

“Sure,” Camila answers, saying goodbye and hanging up.

Really, she couldn’t care less that Roger is upset with her. She has Lauren, and that’s all she needs.

-

While Camila is on the phone with her manager, Lauren calls Lucy and tells her that she’s back together with Camila. She hopes Lucy isn’t upset that she’s ending their friends with benefits arrangement, but when she delivers the news, Lucy squeals happily.

“I’m really glad!” Lucy announces. “I love you and your Camila, Lauren. I’m glad you have her back.”

“Thanks, Luc,” Lauren answers, grateful that her best friend is so understanding and supportive. “I’m glad I have her, too.”

-

The first thing that Lauren notices is it’s not as hard as last time. They’re older and more mature, and Camila is so good at making time for her. It’s not like when they first started college, when they were together every second, because Camila jumps straight back into the studio mid-January. But she compromises and works in New York instead of L.A., and stays with Lauren at their old apartment on a night.

Camila has one day off a week for certain, and she always makes sure to spend it with Lauren, whether it’s an extravagant date or a casual night in, Lauren doing schoolwork and Camila writing, just enjoying each other’s presence.

Lauren finds she’s a little wary to go out on dates, because people like to take pictures of Camila when they go out, and their big cameras have big flashes. Lauren doesn’t like it, because it hurts her eyes. There’s one day that’s particularly bad.

They’re out, just grocery shopping together, when a big flash stuns Lauren badly. Her eyes try to adjust, but there are more and more flashes, so she closes her eyes and curls up right there in the produce aisle. While Lauren is okay with everyone knowing she’s with Camila, she doesn’t want Camila’s fans or reporters in her personal business, so they hadn’t mentioned that she’s autistic.

When Lauren hears a reporter shout at Camila, “is it true your girlfriend is retarded?” she goes into hysterics, rocking backwards and forwards and wishing she had Nala.

She hears the same reporter cry out, and Camila yelling at everyone else. “Back the fuck up. Don’t you people have any concept of personal fucking space?”

Camila gets Lauren home safely, and shuts her phone off when it starts ringing, because Lauren isn’t fully calm yet. With Nala in her arms and Dash and Leo curled up next to her, she manages to get herself out of her sensory overload, Camila holding her hand and staying quiet. When Lauren is finally okay, and after triple checking that she really is, Camila gets up and turns her phone on again, calling back whoever wanted to get hold of her so desperately.

Camila is on the phone for a while, and by the time she gets back, Lauren has stripped herself of her clothing and is bundled under her blue blanket.

“That was my PR team,” Camila explains to her, sitting down and running her fingers through Lauren’s hair comfortingly. “They’re mad at me. Apparently, punching paparazzi isn’t really good for my image. They said I should make a formal apology, but I told them to fuck off. What that guy said… it makes me so angry because I know how that affects you. I would be okay if you… if you wanted to leave me. Well, I mean, I wouldn’t, but if it’s what you think is best-”

“But- wait, what?” Lauren stutters out. “Why- why would I- I want to- to leave?”

“Well, I mean, I know we love each other, and I know we’re soulmates, but all of the camera flashes and screaming… it isn’t good for you to be around.” Camila explains. “Not if it leaves you like this. And you want to keep your autism private and away from the public, and I’m okay with that. If leaving would be better for you… I would understand.”

“No- no, Camz,” Lauren shakes her head, “I- I don’t care, I told you I didn’t- and- and I love you. It’s- it takes more- more than loud people to- to scare me away from my soul-soulmate.”

Camila pulls Lauren in for a tight hug, and the older Latina feels a kiss pressed to the top of her head. “I love you so much. And I’m so sorry that people aren’t respectful-”

“I will tell them.” Lauren decides, because maybe it’d make people be nicer. “I mean- um, you can tell them. If you- if you say that- that I’m autistic and that I need space, well- um… maybe they’d be better.”

“Are you sure about that?” Camila asks, feeling Lauren nod against her. “And you’re not doing it for me?”

“No. I- I mean, it’s not like… it’s not like it was when I was little.” Lauren sniffles, feeling her speech coming back properly. “It’s more- more… I’m a private person, and you- you’re famous, and it’s hard to be private with that. I know that… that for a while I wanted to be a famous artist, but I think as I got older I- I realised how messy fame is. And I’m- I’m proud to be autistic. And maybe if- if people see how good you are and how understanding… maybe they’d be like that, too.”

Camila smiles a little. “You know, Lolo lion, I think that’s a great plan. But I guess that’s to be expected when you were valedictorian and graduated with a 5.0 GPA.”

Lauren nods. “Yes. I’m very smart.”

-

When Camila posts her statement, assuring every media outlet that’s slandering her that she’s not a stuck-up diva, she writes about Lauren and her autism. She writes about how hard it was for Lauren to finally accept herself, and how she knows the world isn’t on Lauren’s side, but she embraces it anyway. She asks respectfully for people to be quiet when they see she’s with Lauren, and adds a sidenote to the media that says yes, I know you like taking pictures of me without my consent, but can you at least keep the flash off?

Within an hour, she’s no longer the stuck-up bitch who punched a guy just trying to do his job, she’s a hero and raising awareness for a great cause. She rolls her eyes at how transparent the media is, and lets Lauren know that so far, people in her mentions have been praising them both and telling them they’re a cute couple, and they love how they look out for each other.

-

Not everything is as smooth as that.

In Camila’s first interview after she posts that statement, she gets a few questions that really fucking irk her. Her management always tell her to stay cool in those situations, but when it comes to Lauren, Camila would fight any stupid fucking interviewer any day.

“So, about six months ago now, you announced you were in a relationship via Instagram,” the interviewer says, looking down at their sheet of questions, “how’s that going?”

“It’s amazing,” Camila says, and she genuinely means it. “Lauren and I have technically been together since high school – we started dating in our junior year, and we had a break for a little over a year and a half. She’s my soulmate and I know that.”

The interview laughs and makes some cheesy joke about how Camila is off the market for good, and the Latina laughs along politely.

But the next question makes the smile drop from her face.

“So, recently it’s come out that your girlfriend is autistic,” the interviewer continues on. “How hard is that for you?”

Camila bristles. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

The interviewer looks taken aback. “Well, I have a friend who has an autistic son, and I know how hard it is for her to deal with-”

“Did you ever think of how maybe it’s hard for your friend’s kid to deal with? It’s the same when it comes to the disgusting question you’ve asked me about Lauren. How about considering how hard it is for her. She’s grown up in a world where the way she thinks is demonised and shamed, and she’s gone through so much physical and emotional abuse in just twenty-one years. Almost twenty-two. In twenty-one years of her life, Lauren has experienced twice the amount of pain you probably have, and for something she can’t help or change.” Camila doesn’t even notice the shut up look her manager is sending her, because she’s too angry to care. “She couldn’t talk properly until she was nine, but instead of encouraging her, people mocked her and made her even shyer. When she was only five, an innocent fucking kid, a family member practically tortured her for being different, and she still has the scars to this day.

“When I met her, she was so fucking insecure in herself that she wouldn’t dare talk to me, because she was so scared that if anything even hinted at her being autistic, I’d verbally abuse her. It took her a long time to get to where she is, and to be so confident in herself,” Camila rants, “and I’m not letting people like you, and your disgusting questions about how hard is it for me to love someone like her, knock her back to that bad place. Because the problem isn’t with autistic people, because they are some of the most gentle and loving people on the planet. Lauren is a prime example of that. The problem is with assholes like you.”

With that, she gets up and stalks out of the interview, heading outside to cool off. She calls Lauren, because her girlfriend always makes her feel better.

“Hi, Camzi,” Lauren answers immediately, “I don’t know if I can talk for long; I think the guy I’m shadowing at the zoo today is going to let me meet the lions!”

Camila smiles at her girlfriend’s enthusiasm, because she wishes Lauren could be in this permanent state of happy. “That’s really cool, Lo. I don’t want to keep you away from the lions. Just make sure you’ll come back to me in one piece.”

“Yes, I promise,” Lauren replies, “I am thinking about taking an extra year next year, to do a real work placement in a zoo, and then going back to college for my senior year after.”

Camila smiles. “That sounds like it’d be really cool, Laur. Would it count towards your degree?”

“No, but it would be paid work, and it means I’d have experience.” Lauren comments. “I talked to Kehlani about it, and she said she’d miss her study buddy, but it’d be cool for me to do it. I think if I apply and get an offer, I’ll take it.”

“Sounds great, babe.” Camila answers, ducking behind a wall when she spots her manager searching for her. “What time will you be back at the apartment tonight?”

“Four, I think.” Lauren replies. “What time does your- wait, aren’t you supposed to be in an interview right now? Camzi, you’re late!”

“Not late,” Camila corrects. “I walked out. They said something that got me really mad and I went on a little bit of a rant. It was just… it was completely out of line. I guess the media will paint it as me overreacting just to slander me a little more.”

“Oh.” Camila can hear Lauren’s frown. “Are you upset?”

“More annoyed than upset,” Camila shrugs. “It’s just… some of the questions they ask are so dumb, and half the time I don’t care, if they’re making jabs at me or my music, but when they bring you into it, all bets are off.”

“They- um,” Lauren clears her throat, “what did they say about me?”

“The interviewer asked about how difficult it was for me to deal with your autism,” Camila sighs loudly, “that was when I snapped. You’re probably going to think I was overreacting, too, but… I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking about anything other than defending you.”

Lauren is silent for a moment. “I don’t think you overreacted. I- I like that you defend me. You protect me and I protect you.”

“Yeah, baby,” Camila answers, trying to duck out of sight again when she sees Roger, but she’s a little too slow; he spots her. “I think I have to go. See you at home?”

“Mhm.” Lauren answers. “See you at home. I love you.”

Camila beams. “I love you too.”

She hangs up the phone and tucks it into her pocket as Roger starts chastising her for her outburst, but Camila only half listens, because she doesn’t regret what she said one bit.

-

When the interview comes out, Camila watches it back with Lauren holding her hand. She can see the fire blazing in her own eyes as she defends her girlfriend, and Lauren is looking at her image on the screen with so much love and adoration that it’d make whatever hate she gets worth it.

She doesn’t get any hate. In fact, the opposite happens. Her fans, and people who aren’t fans come together and talk about how she’s such an advocate and an inspiration and how they admire how much she stands up for what she believes in.

Camila clarifies everything with a simple tweet.

@Camila_Cabello: Lauren’s the inspiration. Praise her for everything she’s overcome to get to where she is, not me for standing up for my girlfriend in an interview.

-

Camila surprises Lauren with another Disney trip for her girlfriend’s twenty-second birthday. Four years ago, they were in the same place, both of them so young and unsure of themselves. Camila is proud of how much they’ve both grown.

She appreciates that she’s done most of that growing with Lauren by her side.

They stick to their Disney tradition, and the feeling of Lauren’s tongue between her thighs makes Camila feel seventeen again.

-

Lauren stays with her for the first month of Camila’s 2020 world tour, but when September hits, she has to go back to New York to start her work placement at the Bronx Zoo. Even though Lauren is leaving, and Camila has to keep touring, they’re both content and promise to FaceTime at every possible second, and Camila tells Lauren she’ll fly her out every few weekends to make sure they’ll have time together.

Camila’s tour concludes after another three months, and she gets home early to surprise Lauren. When Lauren sees her, she pounces on Camila in a hug and dots kisses across the younger Cuban’s face.

“I missed you so much, Camzi!” Lauren announces as she pulls away from the hug. She doesn’t stay away for long, and leans in to kiss her girlfriend. “I’m glad you’re back, even though I thought we were meeting in Miami for Christmas with our families.”

“Tour finished early and I figured I’d give my girl a Christmas surprise.” Camila grins, pulling Lauren back for another kiss. “I missed you and our sons so much. The dogs practically jumped me when I got in.”

“Yes,” Lauren rocks on her heels. “Can- um- will you watch The Lion King with me?”

“Laur,” Camila kisses her, “There’s nothing I’d want to do more.”

-

They see 2021 in the same way they saw in 2020, with a kiss, but this time they’re happy and in love and drunk on only that.

-

It’s another year of studio work for Camila, which means she’s stationary in New York, living with Lauren while she works on her second album. This time, she doesn’t have to throw away those raw, emotional songs she’d written about Lauren, and go back to the drawing board. This time she gets to write an album that’s totally and irrevocably about the girl who stole her heart.

-

She releases her second album at the end of October 2021, and it easily outsells the first and shoots straight to number one. She still finds it completely surreal that she gets to live her dream, and she thanks Lauren every day for giving her to confidence to pursue it.

-

“Hi.”

Camila jumps in surprise and flicks on her bedroom light to see Lauren stood in the doorway. “How’d you get in here?”

“Your parents gave me a key were when were back in high school.” Lauren shrugs, tapping nervously against her leg. “Can we go for a walk?”

“Sure, baby,” Camila sits up and stretches, grabbing a pair of sweats from the back of her chair. “You’re lucky we’re in Miami. If we were in New York, I wouldn’t be going walking in the snow in the middle of the night.”

Lauren rocks on her heels. “It’s eleven. On a Friday. And you’re in bed.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Like you’re any different.”

“I’m not any different. I like spending nights inside.” Lauren answers, heading towards the stairs with Camila on her heels. “You know that, stupid head.”

Camila snorts. “You’re the stupid head.”

Camila follows Lauren out of the front door and into the cool Miami night. There’s a pleasant breeze in the air, and Camila decides that she’s okay with this impromptu walk when Lauren threads their fingers together and hums to herself. She doesn’t know where Lauren is taking her, but she doesn’t really care. Just being with her girlfriend is enough.

“Did you know that The Lion King is sometimes inaccurate with its portrayal of lions?”

Camila blinks in surprise, because she hadn’t expected that, but shrugs in answer of the question. “Yeah, I kind of figured.”

Lauren leads her up some steps, and Camila finally starts paying attention to her surroundings. They’re at their old school. “One of the things it gets wrong is how all of the lions are very monogamous. While some lions can be monogamous, it’s not very likely that an entire pride would pair off.”

Camila laughs. “So you’re saying that Simba and Nala wouldn’t be dating, huh?”

“Well, they might, but it’s not super likely,” Lauren shrugs, frowning to herself, “did I ever tell you about that theory that Mufasa might actually be Nala’s dad, which means that she and Simba could be related? A lot of it is down to the biology and the colours of their fur and- and- um… I’m getting a little distracted.”

Camila smiles to herself, pulling Lauren in for a kiss. “Don’t worry about it. I think it’s cute when you’re distracted.”

“Well, um, anyway,” Lauren shakes her head, “I was thinking, we’re like those rare monogamous lions. We found each other and mated for life.”

Camila snorts. “I guess you could put it that way, yeah.”

“And- um, before we met, I thought I might end up like just a regular lion, alone in the pride I had with the girls, while they all found their person. Because I thought I’d never find my person.” Lauren rocks on her heels and sighs. “It was like… I really hurt, because all of the people I’d ever tried asking out had been cruel to me. I was always so scared of everyone, and when you came, it was like wow, there’s this angel here, and I know she’s meant for me. Because you are. You’re meant for me, Camz. And I’m meant for you, because I’m your Lolo lion.”

Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “You’re my Lolo lion.”

“And I know I don’t have a nickname like that for you, except when I called you Camila chicken when I was drunk on New Year’s Eve.” Lauren seems to smile at the memory, and Camila grins too. “Because when I try to think of a nickname like that for you, I don’t know what to think. You call me your Lolo lion because I’m brave and I protect you, but you do those things for me, too. You do so much for me, and you- you made me into the woman I am today. If I hadn’t met you, and if you hadn’t been there to give me a nudge in the right direction and show me that I can be loved, I don’t know where I would be. I think I’d still hate myself, and I’d still let my mom get things wrong, and I definitely wouldn’t have gone to college, even though I wanted to. I would’ve been too scared for all of that.”

“Without you, I wouldn’t be me. That’s why I can’t think of a nickname like Lolo lion for you, because you don’t just protect me and love me. You do everything. You’re my everything, Camz.” Lauren looks her in the eyes, vibrant green gazing into deep chocolate brown, as she holds out a ring and drops down onto one knee. “And because of that… Karla Camila Cabello Estrabao… will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

Camila doesn’t know when she started crying. As she looks into those beautiful emeralds that Lauren calls eyes, she’s so overwhelmed with love and compassion for the gorgeous woman in front of her, that she can’t think of the words to describe her.

“Yes, yes, oh my god,” Camila nods and pulls Lauren up and into a hug. “Laur, oh my god, yes!”

As Lauren slides the ring onto Camila’s finger – the second ring her abuela had left her with – Camila tries to think of a time she’s ever been this happy, but nothing comes to mind. Because the woman in front of her is Camila’s everything, too.

-

They make all of the wedding preparations together, and they set a proper date. October 22nd, 2022. Their original anniversary. Camila thinks it’s partly because Lauren’s still confused about which date she should consider their real anniversary, but either way, she thinks it’s a good idea.

They work all of the other stuff out around Camila’s touring schedule and Lauren’s work rota and classes, and when Camila’s management call the next day and ask about adding another leg to her next tour, she says no. Nothing is going to come before her wedding.

She announces it to her fans the night before her Bachelorette party, managing to keep it secret for the better part of a year, until she and Lauren organised everything properly. She cares about them so much, and she wants them to see this part of her life, the part that makes her so happy. Ninety-nine percent of them love Lauren as much as they love her; it makes Camila so fucking ecstatic when a fan comes over quietly and respectfully when she’s with Lauren.

Initially, she hadn’t wanted a Bachelorette party, since she’s not big on parties, but because Dinah and Normani couldn’t make Lauren change her mind about inviting everyone over for a The Lion King marathon, they insist on dragging Camila out to the club to get wasted, and Camila had dragged Hailee, Shawn, and his totally not boyfriend Troye along too.

Admittedly, Camila drinks a little more than she should, and when a girl runs over to her shouting, “Oh my god, you’re Camila Cabello,” Camila grins and nods.

“Fuck yeah I am,” Camila answers, taking another gulp of her drink. “Are you here with a date? Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? I have a fiancée, and I love her so much. She likes lions. She’s my lion and she’s fucking mighty. And hot.”

“I know, Lauren!” The girl answers, “Can I get a picture with you? And can you tell Lauren I said hi?”

“Oh my god, I love those cute little Camren shippers!” Camila replies, the picture request slipping her mind for the moment. “Nobody can beat Dinah though. She’s the captain. Hey, hey, Dinah! Get over here! Tell this girl how you’re the captain!”

By the time Dinah comes over, Camila has already told the girl exactly twenty-five reasons why she loves Lauren and can’t wait to spend the rest of her life with her, the girl actively engaging and squealing at the appropriate moments.

Dinah scoffs when she sees her with the girl. “Walz, you better not be cheating on Ralph!”

“Never!” Camila gasps, because that’s the worst thing she’s ever heard. “If I ever even think about it, you need to chop my fucking head off. Anyway, why are you here?”

Dinah shrugs. “You told me to come over.”

“I did?” Camila pauses in thought, but grins when she remembers. “I did! Dinah, this girl ships Camren too- and- oh, wait. You’re a fan and you wanted a picture. Oops. I got distracted. Just like Lauren does! That’s another thing I love about her, actually-”

“Walz,” Dinah cuts her off with a laugh. “Take a damn selfie with the girl and free her from your cheesy fucking rant.”

“Oh, yes, sorry,” Camila shuffles closer to the girl and lets her get a picture. “I’m going to go call Lauren now.”

As she staggers out of the club, Dinah following, she pulls out her phone and dials Lauren, pouting when her girlfriend doesn’t answer. Dinah rolls her eyes again. The youngest girl had drawn the short straw and wasn’t allowed to get anything past tipsy to make sure Camila didn’t trip and crack her head open or something else of that nature.

“What? Ralph didn’t answer?” Dinah raises her eyebrows. “You realise she’s watching The Lion King, right?”

“She- she didn’t just not answer. She forwarded my call.” Camila glares down at her phone screen. “She’s mean. I’m un-fiancée-ing her.”

“I think you’ve had a little too much to drink.” Dinah laughs. “I’m going to go find Mani and the others, and we can head back to your place. Can I trust you to call the cab?”

Camila blinks, her vision spinning a little. “Maybe not.”

“Alright.” Dinah steadies her. “You’re coming with me, then. We’ll find the others and get out of here. I’m sure Ralph won’t mind us crashing her little Lion King viewing party.”

“Yeah,” Camila agrees as they head back inside, leaning into Dinah for support. “I fucking love her. I bet she’s having so much fun right now with Ally, Alexa, Kehlani… who else is there? Lucy, right? Oh my god, is Keana there? Maybe you can fix them like you fixed me and Lauren. Not that you fixed us, I did that all by myself because I’m an independent woman.”

Dinah just laughs. “You’re a weirdo, you know that?”

“Psh, no,” Camila shakes her head, “I am perfectly normal. Lauren’s the weird one because she wears ugly hats.”

Once they find the others, and Dinah calls them a cab, Camila leans against her best friend in the backseat, humming to herself. She looks over to Shawn and sees him holding hands with Troye, and in typical Camila Cabello fashion, she teasingly wiggles her eyebrows at him.

He rolls her eyes at her, and she sticks her tongue out at him. He looks over at Dinah with a grin. “How wasted did you let her get?”

Before Dinah can answer, Camila cuts in with a loud scoff. “I’m not drunk at all. You’re drunk.”

“You’re not fooling anyone,” Shawn laughs at her, “you can’t even sit up straight.”

“Like anyone here can do anything straight,” Camila snorts, before she looks up at Hailee apologetically. “Sorry, was that mean? You’re not included in that because you’re one of those weird ones that only likes boys.”

Hailee just laughs. “It’s fine, Mila.”

Troye looks over at Shawn. “I’m actually kind of glad you dragged me out tonight. Seeing Camila drunk is pretty funny.”

When Shawn squeezes Troye’s hand, Camila snorts. “And you say you guys aren’t together.”

Shawn gives her a gentle kick in the shin for that, but confirms what everybody already knew when he pulls Troye in for a kiss.

-

When Camila comes staggering in through the apartment door with the others, Lauren immediately gets up to help steady her, even though The Lion King 1 and ½ is playing.

“Lolo lion!” Camila announces, snuggling her face into Lauren’s neck. “I have been on a mission to find you, because you stole my heart.”

Lauren snorts. “Okay, Camzi. Do you want to cuddle on the couch?”

“Duh,” Camila rolls her eyes, “I love you so fucking much, you know that, right?”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, leading Camila over to the couch. A few of the others follow, but Dinah and Normani make a beeline for the fridge. “I love you too. That’s why I want to marry you.”

“Oh my god, we’re getting married in three days!” Camila announces like she hadn’t realised. “If I were on my laptop right now, I’d totally fucking keysmash for that. But I’m not, so fuck that.”

When Camila notices the occupants of the apartment, and it registers who they are in her brain, her jaw drops and she pushes Lauren away, the older girl flopping down onto the couch with an indignant pout.

“Lucia Vives!” Camila sits down in front of Lucy, still pointing at her. “Hello.”

Lucy blinks in surprise. “Um… hi, Camila. How are you? I haven’t seen you for-”

“Like ten fucking years,” Camila finishes for her, holding her arms out, “Hug me.”

Lucy bites down on her bottom lip, looking anxious. “I don’t- I don’t really like hugs.”

Camila pouts, but drops her hands into her lap. “Okay. Are you back together with Keana, or do I need to put a magical spell on you to make you back together with her? That’s how that works, right?”

Lucy shuffles uncomfortably and looks over at Keana, who is watching their conversation, but looks away when Lucy catches her. Lucy just shrugs and looks down at her lap. “No. Do you have- um, any advice? Because, well, it’s been so long, and…”

“Hand holding!” Camila announces with a grin. “You like hand holding! Hold my hand.”

When Camila holds out her hand, Lucy actually takes it. Camila looks up at Lauren, and at her girlfriend’s pout, she sticks her tongue out.

Lucy looks back to the TV, but Camila shakes her head. “No, we’re not done talking!”

“Oh, but… you were looking away, so…” Lucy shrugs and looks down at her lap again. “Sorry.”

“No, no, don’t say sorry. Anyway, listen, even though the room is like, really spinny right now, I’m going to give you some fucking good advice.” Camila decides. “I’m like, the fucking queen of advice. So listen up. Are you ready for the best advice ever?”

Lucy nods, meeting Camila’s gaze for a moment, before she directs it towards the younger girl’s neck. “Okay.”

“Listen to what your heart wants,” Camila says, thinking back to that fateful New Year’s Eve where she’d kissed Lauren again. “Listen to it and- I don’t know, do what it says? If you miss Keana, then just like, kiss her or something. Or tell her you fucking miss her. Because she keeps looking at you, and that’s pretty fucking gay.”

Lucy looks like she considers the advice, and hums in thought. “Alright. Thank you, Camila. I’m very glad that Lauren has you.”

“I’m glad Lauren has me too, because by like default or something, that means I have Lauren,” Camila thinks through. “And that’s like, really fucking amazing, you know?”

Lucy smiles. “She’s your Lauren.”

“Mhm, she is. I’m going to go kiss her now.” Camila announces, staggering to her feet. As she walks away, she pets Lucy on the top of her head, murmuring, “smart cookie.”

When she curls up next to Lauren, the older Latina smiles at her. “You’re going to be really hungover in the morning.”

“Probably,” Camila mumbles, snuggling her face into Lauren’s neck. “But you’re always going to be there to take care of me.”

-

Camila looks around, and sees the most beautiful woman she’s ever laid eyes upon. Her heart is beating out of her chest as she studies the woman, her beautifully choppy dark hair, her bright green eyes, and the soft jawline Camila’s lips have touched a thousand times. It feels like the very first time she’s seeing her. To Camila, Lauren gets more and more beautiful every day.

Lauren sends an anxious smile to her dad as he walks her down the aisle, and Camila’s tummy flips, because it’s the prettiest smile she’s ever seen.

Even though the room is full of people – their friends and both of their families – Lauren is the only one Camila sees. It’s the same every single day, even when Lauren comes to one of her shows. She’ll look to her left and see Lauren backstage, and at every single concert she has, she dedicates Never Be the Same to her girl, and closes her eyes and thinks of only her.

When Lauren parts from Mike and comes to stand in front of her, Camila bites down on her bottom lip, tears welling in her eyes. She’d always thought that the best day of her life would be the day she was offered her record deal, but today has already knocked that out of the park.

Lauren looks her in the eyes and mumbles, “I love you,” as the officiator starts to talk.

Camila thinks back to when she was younger, and she imagined her future wedding. She’d always worried she’d stumble over the words that the officiator makes you say, and she’d make a fool of herself in front of everybody. She always thought she’d be so nervous.

But now, looking into Lauren’s beautiful bright green eyes, all Camila feels is calm.

As Clara had insisted on doing a reading, when she comes up to the front, Camila finally manages to tear her eyes away from Lauren for a moment. She keeps a tight grip on Lauren’s hand as Clara unfolds the paper in her hands and clears her throat.

“When Lauren was born, it was the best day of my life. Mike and I had been trying so hard for a child, and while we have three beautiful kids now, at that point in time, it felt like we were lucky to just have the one.” Clara looks over at Lauren, and Lauren chews down on her bottom lip, rocking on her heels. “But then as Lauren got older, we noticed some… delays. When she was three years old, she hadn’t spoken one word. At first, I blamed myself. I thought that I was a bad mother, and that I went wrong somewhere, so I constantly tried to make her like all of the other kids were. When she was five, we were told she had autism. I didn’t want to believe it, and- and I kept ignoring it for seventeen years.”

“At that point, I lost hope. It sounds so awful to me now, but when I looked at Lauren, all I felt was resentment. There was this child, this beautiful, loving child, and I couldn’t get over the image I had in my head of this perfect little girl that I thought I wanted. And until she was eighteen, Lauren and I never had a real mother-daughter relationship. When Lauren came home and told me she had a girlfriend, I was so scared for her. I was scared that this girl would see all of these problems I thought Lauren had, make Lauren fall for her, and then leave. But you didn’t, Camila.” Clara turns to look at her, and Camila grips Lauren’s hand tightly. “One night, Camila showed up at our house, completely drunk and insisting that Lauren make her some chicken nuggets. I scolded Lauren for not looking at me when she spoke, and this completely inebriated girl in her underwear stuck up for her and told me that Mike and I had made perfection.”

“With Camila, Lauren got so much more confident in herself, and one day, she came to talk to me, and said the same things Camila had that night when she was drunk.” Clara looks at Lauren. “The things she said… it made me realise that Camila was right, and I was wrong. Because Lauren is perfect, and she always has been. And sometimes I think that if Camila hadn’t come along, Lauren and I would still have that strained relationship we used to have. That Lauren would still be so scared of everyone and everything because she believed that she was lesser, because of the way society treated her… and the way I treated her.”

“Lauren… I love you so, so much. I’m so proud of everything you’ve achieved and how much you’ve grown up.” Clara returns her gaze to Camila. “And Camila… thank you for showing me that I was wrong, and giving Lauren the confidence to tell me that too. Because without you, Lauren and I wouldn’t be as close as we are now.”

“Thank you,” Camila mumbles, and she feels Lauren wipe away the tears in her eyes. “Oh my god, I always thought you figured I was a crazy drunk from that night.”

“Yes,” Lauren nods, “thank you for saying wonderful things, mami. And also- um, for not thinking Camila is a crazy drunk.”

There’s a collective laugh around the room, and as Clara sits down, Camila turns around and looks over at her little sister with a grin. “Come on up here, then.”

Sofi beams and comes up to the front, practically bouncing with energy. Even though she’s twelve now, and almost a teenager, she’s still the big ball of enthusiasm that she’s always been. And that’s after getting hit by a car.

“So, hi!” Sofi announces to the room. “I don’t really know much about weddings, because I’ve only been to one before, and I was like, five. But I do know a lot about my sister and Lamp. I can’t really remember a time where Lamp wasn’t in my life, since I was so little when I met her, so she’s always been like a sister to me anyway. That’s why this whole big wedding thing is actually kind of pointless, because Lamp is already family.”

A few people aw at Sofi’s words, but Camila just rolls her eyes. Trust her little sister to call her wedding pointless.

“But anyway, when Kaki asked me to talk at her wedding, she told me I had to be really sweet and tell everyone about how she’s the best big sister ever.” Sofi continues. “I was going to tell everyone about how that’s not true, because she any time she buys cookies when she’s with me, she licks the biggest one or the one with the most chocolate chips so I can’t have it. But then I was thinking, and I realised that it is true. She was my age when I was born, and I thought about how I’d feel if mami and papi suddenly brought home another baby, and I think I’d be upset, since I’m the little one, which means I get special treatment. But Kaki always played with me when I was little, and she still plays with me now when she’s visiting. It’s fun, because now that I’m older, I always beat her at video games. So, Kaki, thank you for being a good big sister.”

“Lamp has always been a really good big sister too,” Sofi says, grinning at Lauren and giving her a thumb up. Lauren grins back equally as wide. “When I was little, I ran into the road and got knocked down by a car. Even though I like scaring new people by telling them I was run over when I was little, it was bad, because I was broken for a while and while my arm and leg and everything got better, it felt like my brain was muddled for a long time. I couldn’t say everything I wanted to, and reading was really hard too. But then Lamp talked to me and told me that she was the same when she was little. That talking was always really hard for her, but she worked at it, and now she’s really smart and got really good grades-”

“Yes, I had a 5.0 GPA and I was valedictorian.” Lauren blurts out, before she blushes and sends Sofi a bashful smile as their friends and family laugh. “Sorry. Keep going.”

Sofi laughs. “Anyway, that was when I decided I wanted Lamp to be my big sister, too. And to me, she already is, but I guess they have to do this wedding so she can be for real. Either way, I don’t care what it says on a piece of paper; Lamp is my family, no matter what.”

Realising that’s the end, Lauren moves away from Camila to pull Sofi into a tight hug. “You’re my family too.”

Sofi moves to sit back down, and Camila lets out a loud cough, holding her arms out. “Hey, give your favourite sister a hug.”

Sofi frowns at her. “You want me to hug Lamp again?”

Camila rolls her eyes as Lauren laughs. “Shut up and hug me, idiot.”

Sofi pulls Camila into a hug, before running to sit down again. Camila sucks in a deep breath to brace herself, because it’s time for the vows, and she knows she’s not going to make it through this without crying.

Unfortunately for her, Lauren is going first, and she knows she’s not going to be able to get through her own vows, because she’ll be way to busy ugly crying to read anything she’d written.

“So, um, hi, I’m Lauren,” Lauren introduces herself to the room, even though everyone knows who she is. Camila can already feel the tears, because Lauren is so fucking cute. “Anyway, I’m not- um, I’m not going to be talking to you when I say these vows, because this isn’t a speech. It’s- it’s just me, talking to the love of my life.”

When Lauren turns on Camila and looks her in the eyes, the same as she’d done for the proposal, Camila has to fight to keep her tears at bay. She knows how hard it is for Lauren to look people in the eye, and she knows it takes an immense amount of trust. She’s so, so thankful that Lauren feels that for her.

“Camz,” Lauren addresses her, reaching forward and taking both of Camila’s hands in hers. “I know that you always joke about how I’ve had my vows written since high school, but I haven’t. The truth is, any time I sat down to write them, I couldn’t think of the words, because none of them did you justice. The words that describe you haven’t been invented yet. I would sit there and look at that piece of paper, and I’d think… how am I supposed to write this? And- and I spent a lot of time worrying about what you’d think of my vows, because I’d be writing them for you, and I thought you’d have these big expectations.”

“But then I realised that… in a way, my vows are for me. They’re my vows and they’re how I feel, and- and this is how I feel,” Lauren sucks in a deep breath and closes her eyes for a moment, but when they’re open again, they lock straight back with Camila’s. “You make me feel everything, Camila. Every day, I wake up, and I roll over and you’re there. Even when you’re not there, you are, because you’re always in my heart. You make me feel so much love, and because of that, I’m always carrying you around in my heart, and I feel close to you even if you’re a thousand miles away.”

“When we got back together, at the start, I worried. I was always wondering how I’d cope when you went away on tour, but for some reason, even though you weren’t physically there, you were still with me. I didn’t understand that at first, but then it hit me that I’d fallen past love. What I feel for you… I don’t know what it is, but it’s more than love.”

“There was this point when you were away on tour, and this- this girl came over to me. She said she was a fan of you, and I didn’t really know what to do, because I’d never spoken to one of your fans before. But then she- she told me that I didn’t deserve you, and that you were better off without me. When I was seventeen, I would’ve believed that wholeheartedly. I did believe that back then, because I always thought you’d leave me for someone normal. That you’d realise you could have anyone, and that you wouldn’t want a freak like me.” Lauren squeezes her hand when Camila shakes her head, because there’s nobody else Camila would rather be with. “But when that girl said it, I rolled my eyes and told her that she’s a stupid head, because she was a stupid head. You gave me that courage. Because you were with me in my heart.”

“When I met you, I was a mouse. But you made me into a lion.”

Camila’s tears finally spill, and she can see that Lauren’s eyes are shimmering with tears too. Hearing that… it makes all of Camila’s emotions bubble to the surface, because she loves Lauren so much.

“I think that’s the greatest gift that anyone could’ve given me.” Lauren recounts. “I told you once that I met you when I needed you. That I met you when I was at my lowest, and I felt so insecure and wished for nothing more than to just be normal. But you gave me bravery. You made me fierce. You made me mighty and confident. But most importantly, you helped me love myself by showing me that I could be loved.”

“I’ve always hated the expression love yourself before you love someone else. In some cases, yes, it can be true, but it’s not for everyone, and it’s definitely not for me. Because it was so hard for me to love myself when the whole world was telling me I shouldn’t.” Lauren reaches up and gently wipes Camila’s tears away. “Not only did you give me love, but you showed me it, too. You took this sad, insecure girl, and you made her a lion. Your lion. And like a lion, I promise I’ll always protect you and be there for you, and be brave when you need me to be brave.”

“You helped me be proud of my autism, because you loved me because of it, not in spite of it, when that’s what everyone else would have done.” Lauren says, and Camila reaches up to wipe her eyes with the back of her hand, praying to god the makeup Mani had put on her was waterproof. “You helped me become the woman I am today, and for that, I am so grateful. And I can’t wait to make you my wife.”

Camila collapses into Lauren, wrapping her arms around the older Latina and burying her face in Lauren’s neck. “I love you so much, Lolo lion.”

Lauren holds her tight and rubs circles on her back. “I love you too, Camz. But- um, can you say your vows now? My feet hurt from standing up here for so long.”

Camila lets out a rather watery laugh and nods, pulling away from Lauren and trying her best to pull herself together. To the room, she announces, “I don’t know how I’m going to top that,” and she hears Dinah answer with “you’re not.”

Camila fixes her best friend with a glare. “Screw you, Dinah.”

As Camila composes herself, Lauren squeezes her hand comfortingly. “Camz, if you say your vows, then we get our rings, and then the whole I do thing, and then you can kiss me. That’s always nice, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Camila draws in a breath, “okay, I’m good.”

Lauren beams at her, and Camila can’t resist herself; she kisses Lauren’s cheek, despite her fiancée’s protests that it’s not the time for that.

“Lauren. Lolo lion. You kind of stole my line when you said that I’m your everything, because you’re my everything.” Camila starts. “It’s the truth. Literally my entire world as I know it… it wouldn’t be like this if I hadn’t met you. I know I always act like I’ve believed in my music since day one, but I never thought I could actually make it. But you always had that belief. Even when I doubted myself, you were there, cheering me on. If I didn’t have you, my entire world would fall apart.”

“You’re the axis my world turns on, Lauren.” Camila tells her. “At one point in my life, I stopped writing music. I was fifteen and was being blackmailed by a girl who knew I was bisexual, and I was so depressed that it sapped me of any energy I had. When I arrived in Miami, I had no real friends, and no real passion. Then I met you.”

“And I thought you were an ignorant bitch who couldn’t be bothered to welcome a new student,” Camila grins, and Lauren laughs to herself. “But then I got to know you and saw the most gentle and loving human being on the planet. I’ll admit, we got off to a rocky start, because once Dinah opened her big mouth and told me you were autistic, I got it in my mind that maybe I could fix you. I figured that if I could fix you, I could finally feel good about myself again. When we started spending time together, just one on one, I would notice little things about you and think wow, she’s cute, but I’d shrug them off, because I always thought those things, like your stims, were things I was going to help you get rid of.”

“You don’t know how grateful I am that you stuck with me through all of that. That you stuck with me after I… after I called you a freak.” Camila feels her tears coming back, and she blinks to get rid of them. “I was so impatient with you, and I’d scold you for tuning out or getting distracted and you don’t know how awful I feel when I think back to that. But you still stayed, because you saw the good in me.”

“That’s the thing about you, Lauren. You see the good and the beauty in everyone and you help bring that out of them. When I met you, I was a judgemental sixteen year old with a problem for lashing out at people and upsetting them when they made me mad.” Camila reaches up and rubs at her eyes again, and Lauren squeezes her free hand tighter, her own tears rolling down her cheeks and soft smile on her face. “But like you said I gave you courage, you gave me patience. You gave me understanding and bravery and everything in between. I might have made you brave, Lauren, but you made me better. You showed me the good I had in me all along, and you brought that out of me by loving me despite my flaws. I know you think that I made you proud of your autism, but Laur, you did that yourself.”

“I didn’t understand you at all when we met. I didn’t understand why you stimmed, I didn’t get how you couldn’t understand sarcasm, and I didn’t understand at all how your mind works.” Camila tells her, trying to decipher Lauren’s thoughts from the emotions swimming in her emerald eyes. “But you made me understand. You were so open about educating me, and telling me the things I was doing wrong, and once we started dating, you were so unapologetically yourself. That’s what made me fall in love with you, Lauren. I know that my falling in love with you is what helped you love yourself, but I fell for you because you were yourself. You were already proud when we first got together, Lo. You just didn’t realise it.”

“Because of you, I got back into my music. Because of you, my world is what it is. And I know that with your paintings, I’m your muse, but when it comes to my songwriting… that’s when you truly are my muse.” Camila tells her. “Most of my songs are about you and how you make me feel, and the first song that ever truly captured what I felt for you was Never Be the Same. Because after falling for you… I never will be the same. You’ve taken a piece of my heart, but in return, you gave me a piece of yours. And I promise I’ll always protect that and cherish it.”

“We work together because we’ve grown together. We make each other better, and that’s why we’re soulmates. Because you know what, Lo? You made me a lion, too.” Camila finishes, tracing patterns against Lauren’s knuckles with her thumb. “And I can’t wait to be your wife, and give you tummy rubs and watch The Lion King with you whenever the hell you want.”

“I love you, Camz.” Lauren mumbles, and Camila is thankful she’s not the only one in tears here. “Love you so much.”

“I love you too, baby,” Camila leans up and gives Lauren a forehead kiss, because she knows that Lauren loves those. “It’s ring time, Lolo lion.”

“Oh, yes,” Lauren looks up, wiping at her eyes, “Ally, Mani?”

Normani gives Camila the ring to give to Lauren, pulling the younger Latina in for a tight hug as she does so. “I love you guys so much.”

“Love you too, Manibear,” Camila murmurs back, taking the ring and sliding it onto Lauren’s finger. As Ally passes Lauren her ring to give to Camila, the younger Latina lets out a sigh of content. She watches as Lauren slides the ring onto her finger, and she looks down at her hand, deciding she never wants this ring to leave her finger.

“Karla Camila Cabello Estrabao,” the officiator turns to her, “do you take Lauren to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

Camila wants to yell uh, fuck yeah, but she doubts her mom – or Ally – would appreciate the language. So she looks at Lauren with tears in her eyes and nods. “I do.”

“Lauren Michelle Jauregui Morgado,” the officiator looks to Lauren, “do you take Camila to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

Lauren beams. “I do.”

“By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you partners for life,” the officiator says, “you may now kiss the bride.”

Camila pulls Lauren in for a kiss, as their family and friends clap, and Dinah shouts a loud, “get it, Ralph!” from where she’s sat at the front. When they part, Camila turns to Lauren with a grin.

“You know, I’m starting to regret inviting Dinah. Especially as my maid of honour. I’m kind of realising she’s annoying.” Camila side-eyes her best friend, who scowls back at her. “At least you didn’t get any irritating commentary from Lucy.”

The girl in question comes up to Lauren and pulls her in for a hug. “Your Camila is yours by law now. When you sign that big book thing over there.”

Lauren rocks on her heels, smiling happily. “She’s Camila Jauregui.”

Camila grins. “Yeah. I’m Camila Jauregui. Just like I always wanted.”

As she turns around to her little sister, she grins. “Hey, Sofi. Nice to meet you. I’m Mrs Camila Jauregui.”

Sofi rolls her eyes. “You’re weird. When do we get the food?”

“After we take a bunch of cute pics, but your sister isn’t allowed to post any I’m in without my approval,” Dinah cuts in, smirking at Camila, “Nice crying face, Walz.”

“Shut up,” Camila answers, but the two friends smile at each other and jump into a hug. “Love you, Cheechee.”

“Love you too, Chancho,” Dinah replies, “I’m really happy for you and Ralph.”

Camila beams. “I know.”

When Lauren comes over and pulls her in for another kiss, Camila knows that nothing could ever beat today.

-

They honeymoon at Disney, just like they always said they would, and funnily enough, when they check in at the hotel in the Animal Kingdom, the receptionist hands them their room key with a smile and says “You’re in room 727.”

Camila grins as they head towards the elevator. “We have the same room as the first time we came here.”

Lauren smiles. “Mhm, I noticed that, too.”

Once they get up to the room, Camila smiles, dumping the bags by the foot of the bed. “Ah, memories. You know, the first time we came here-”

Lauren cuts her off with a kiss, her hands rested on the small of Camila’s back. The younger Latina practically melts into the kiss, her hands cupping Lauren’s jaw as the older Latina deepens the kiss. Camila feels butterflies in her tummy and her nerves are set alight when Lauren’s hands slip underneath her shirt.

Camila tugs Lauren’s sweater off and grins when her wife isn’t wearing a bra. “So convenient for me, Lo.”

Lauren just smiles in response as Camila leads her over to the bed, pulling her in for another kiss when Lauren’s head is against the pillows. Lauren takes Camila’s shirt off of her, and as the younger Latina kisses her, she fumbles with the clasp on her bra. Lauren doesn’t pull away from her as she tosses Camila’s bra across the room, her hand massaging Camila’s breast as she kisses her.

The younger Latina lets out a moan as Lauren’s thigh rubs against her clothed centre, and she’s quick to unbutton Lauren’s jeans and toss them across the room with her own skirt. She pulls her lips away from Lauren’s and trails kisses across the older Latina’s soft jawline, taking extra care as she kisses the little double chin Lauren gets when she’s laid down. She kisses down Lauren’s neck, pausing to suck on the older girl’s pounding pulse point, making sure to leave her mark where she knows everyone will see.

She kisses down to the valley between Lauren’s breasts, kissing her wife’s beautiful chest. She leaves a hickey on Lauren’s breast, before she trails kisses upwards and sucks on Lauren’s soft, pink nipple, the older girl letting out a guttural moan that makes the ache between Camila’s legs intensify.

“I love you so much, Camz,” Lauren breathes out, as Camila moves away from her breasts and starts kissing her tummy. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, Lolo lion,” Camila says between kisses, her hands caressing the smooth skin of Lauren’s waist. “I love your tummy. You’re so beautiful.”

Her wife beams down at her, and Camila finally moves down, kissing the inside of Lauren’s thighs. “Camz, please?”

Camila smiles between kisses. “You want me to stimulate you orally?”

Lauren lets out a soft laugh, but when Camila teases her centre over her panties, it turns into a whine. “Camz, make love to me.”

Camila beams, because that’s the girl she married. She pulls Lauren’s panties down and teases the older Latina’s entrance with her tongue, relishing in the beautiful sounds her wife makes. Then, she kisses up to Lauren’s clit and traces circles around it with her tongue.

“Fuck, Camz,” Lauren gets out, her breathing getting more rapid by the moment, “baby, faster, please…”

Camila does as her wife says, kissing and sucking Lauren’s clit and gently thrusting two fingers into Lauren’s centre. Lauren’s walls are already tight around her, and she knows it’s not going to take long for Lauren to come, so she keeps sucking on her wife’s clit and pumping two fingers gently, not wanting their first time as a married couple to be rushed.

She takes her time to ease Lauren to the edge, despite her wife’s constant Camz, faster, because she wants to take her time loving Lauren. She wants Lauren to come feeling loved.

When she adds another finger and starts curling them in just the right place, and massaging Lauren’s clit with her tongue, her wife falls apart in her arms, and Camila kisses right back up to Lauren’s mouth as she’s coming, murmuring sweet nothings to her.

“I love you so much, Lolo lion,” Camila says when Lauren finally comes down from her high. “Did I make you feel loved, baby?”

Lauren smiles at her. “You always make me feel loved. But now it’s my turn to make you feel good.”

Camila is in absolute ecstasy as Lauren takes her time loving and appreciating every part of her. With the amount of love between them, Camila finally understands why it’s called making love, and she comes harder than she ever has before.

-

After the honeymoon, their lives fall back into their usual routines; Camila either touring, rehearsing or in the studio, and Lauren working hard at the zoo she’d gotten a job at. She’s not looking after the lions yet, but she cares for some of the smaller animals, and she’s content with that for now.

-

When Dash passes away, Lauren is completely distraught, and doesn’t talk to anyone for a week. Not even Camila. But Camila looks after her nonetheless, telling her stories about the new songs she’d written, and how she’s working so hard in rehearsals to make her next tour perfect for the fans.

Leo seems to be on the same page as Lauren, missing his brother and curling up with Camila and Lauren on the nights, when he’d usually be in his basket with Dash.

Camila doesn’t know how Lauren is going to handle it when Leo goes, too, but she hopes that it’s not for a long time.

-

Lauren is twenty-eight when she gets the best news of her life.

They’re getting two new female lion cubs, her boss says, and they’d like her to care for them.

Lauren is so completely ecstatic that she calls Camila straight away, even though she knows her wife is in the studio. But Camila picks up, and Lauren tells her all about the two cubs she gets to look after, rambling about how her dream has finally come true.

Camila is so proud of her, and when Lauren gets home that night, her wife is there, her favourite takeout is on the counter, and her copy of The Lion King ready on the TV.

-

Camila visits Lauren at work whenever she can, and although she’s a little terrified of the quickly growing lion cubs, she loves how happy they make Lauren. It’s weird, but they cubs seem to listen to her, and after watching Lauren interact with the animals, and all of her talk about mutual respect, Camila doesn’t worry about her wife as much.

-

Lucy and Keana get married the same year Lauren gets her cubs, which makes her think that this year is magical.

-

They rescue a little black cat when they’re twenty-nine, and while Leo is a little wary of the kitten at first, the animals soon make friends. When Lauren suggests bringing the lion cubs home too, Camila looks at her like she’s crazy, and Lauren laughs at her.

“Don’t worry, Camz,” Lauren rocks on her heels. “I know you’re scared of my babies.”

“Laur, they’re not babies,” Camila insists, “by this point, they probably weigh more than you.”

“But they’re only one, which means they’re my babies,” Lauren answers, “and by default, they’re your babies, too.”

“I’ll be sure to tweet out that we’re parents to a couple of lions,” Camila teases her. “I’m sure the internet would love that.”

-

“I want a divorce.”

Camila snorts. “Yeah, right. You know, it was only a matter of time before I kicked your ass at Monopoly.”

Lauren glares at her. “You’re not allowed to be Camila Jauregui anymore. You’re Camila Cabello again. Now go away.”

“Well, someone’s a sore loser,” Camila grins, “I can’t believe it took me fourteen years to beat you, because that one time when you were high doesn’t count. But I finally did it. You’ve got to be at least a little proud of me, Lo.”

After a few minutes of silence, Lauren smiles. “Yes. I guess I am proud.”

Camila sends her wife the puppy dog eyes. “Does that mean I’m allowed to be Mrs Jauregui again?”

Lauren relents. “Fine.”

-

When Leo passes away, Lauren won’t talk again, unless she’s with her lions. She still calls them cubs, even though they’re three now, but Camila figures she’ll still call them cubs when they’re old.

Their little black cat, who they’d named Nala, wanders around the apartment as though she’s looking for her canine companion, and Camila wonders what animals do when they mourn.

-

Dinah and Normani get married when they’re thirty-two, after possibly the longest engagement known to man, and Camila and Lauren are there to support them; Lauren cries a little bit, too.

At the reception, Ally tells them that she’d run into her ex-boyfriend, Troy, and they’d started seeing one another again. She’s practically glowing with happiness, and Camila feels just as light, knowing that her three best friends are content.

-

Sinu Cabello passes away when Camila is thirty-four, and she keeps it together at the hospital for Sofi’s sake. Even though Sofi is an adult now, Camila still sees her as the little baby in her mother’s arms.

When she’s back home with Lauren, she cries herself dry, and decides to take a break from touring for a while.

-

Camila does one last album and tour before she steps down from the spotlight at thirty-eight, wanting to buy a house just outside of New York with Lauren and settle down. She stays with Epic as a songwriter, and Lauren continues working with her lions.

She’s completely content, and she knows she’ll be even happier waking up next to Lauren every day of the year.

-

They’re forty when Lauren loses Mike, and this time, her wife’s disconnect lasts around a month. They stay in Miami the whole time, Camila staying with her but also visiting her dad. Lauren’s still hurting when she starts talking again, and it feels like losing her abuela all over again.

-

They never have kids; they’d agreed on that a long time ago. Sometimes they look after Dinah and Normani’s daughter, and it makes Camila feel like she’s sixteen again, playing hide and seek with little Sofi.

-

When Lauren shows up one evening with a kitten hidden up her shirt, Camila stares at it for a while. “That’s not secretly a panther cub or something, right?”

Lauren laughs. “No. His name is Simba. I saw him at the shelter, and– and I know we didn’t talk about it first, but I couldn’t leave him.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “It’s not me who needs to approve him.”

Lauren follows her gaze over to Nala, who is sat on the couch, licking her paws. She walks over to the cat and holds Simba out, similarly to how Rafiki holds the cartoon Simba out over Pride Rock.

Nala studies the new kitten with amber eyes, and gives him a little lick. When Lauren lets Simba down, Nala lets him curl up next to her, and she turns to Camila with a satisfied smile.

“Look, they’re friends!”

Camila just smiles at her in response.

-

They’re forty-seven when Lauren loses Clara, and Nala passes in the same week. Lauren is completely distraught, and not even The Lion King can cheer her up.

When Camila offers Lauren’s stuffed Nala, the older girl cries harder. “My mami bought me that.”

“Yeah, and she always makes you feel better,” Camila points out, “if you think about it, it’s like your mami is in here, in a way. She bought you Nala, and you can cuddle her and think about how proud your mami was of you, and it’ll remind you of our Nala, too.”

When Lauren finally accepts the toy, Camila holds her, kissing the top of her head.

-

For Camila’s fiftieth, they invite all of their friends over for drinks, and to catch up with everyone. It’s good to see that all of their friends are content, because Camila feels exactly the same way.

-

Camila is fifty-two when she loses Alejandro, and Lauren is by her side as she grieves. While they’re in Miami, she visits her parents’ grave, and Camila hears her talking to them, and telling them she’s feeling better, and while she misses them, she’s glad they’re together again.

Camila wishes she could feel the same way about her parents, but she just wishes that they were together with her.

-

“What the hell do you mean she got mauled?”

“Well, um, Mrs Jauregui-”

Camila is frantic driving to the hospital, ranting at the guy from the zoo who called her to let her know that Lauren had been taken to the hospital.

When she gets there, after giving the guy on the phone a serious piece of her mind, she runs to the room the receptionist tells her Lauren is in.

She expects the worst, but when she sees Lauren, sat up on the bed and talking animatedly to the nurse, Camila stops dead. “Is this a joke or something?”

“Oh, Camz, hello,” Lauren smiles at her, but winces when the nurse wipes at her arm. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“The zoo called. They told me you got mauled,” Camila stares at Lauren and moves around to see what the nurse is doing, and sees deep claw gashes in Lauren’s upper left arm. “Are you- how did this-”

“It wasn’t one of my lions,” Lauren tells her, “we got a new tiger cub in today, and she was a little scared, that’s all. She clawed at me because she was scared.”

“I- Lauren,” Camila stares at her in shock, wondering how she can be so blasé about this. “This could’ve been so much worse; do you realise that? That tiger could’ve killed you-”

Lauren shrugs, and winces a little after the action. “But it didn’t. I’m okay, Camzi. I’ll be good as new soon.”

“You’ll have a few scars on your arm here,” the nurse interjects, “these cuts are deep.”

“See?” Camila nods at the nurse. “You’ll be scarred for life. Imagine if that tiger had gotten your face.”

“Well, that’s always been a risk, anyway,” Lauren answers, “it’s my job, Camz. This could’ve happened at any point.”

“No. You’re not going back to that zoo,” Camila folds her arms across her chest. “I’m not letting you.”

Lauren blinks at her. “I don’t retire for another five years.”

“Too bad. You’re retiring now.” Camila shakes her head. “I can’t believe they just-”

“I’m not quitting my job, Camz. I love it. And it wasn’t one of my lions. My lions respect me and I respect them.” Lauren rocks a little. “My lions respect me. This tiger cub didn’t know me.”

Camila crosses her arms. “I’m not letting you back there unless I know you’re safe.”

-

Camila practically demands that Lauren be looked after until she retires, or she’ll personally fight everyone at that zoo.

Including that damn tiger cub.

-

When Lauren finally retires at sixty, Camila is relieved. She’s a little tired of constantly worrying every time Lauren goes to work, and now she’s finally able to relax.

-

Camila finally settles into her retirement at sixty-five.

She knows she’s getting old, and as she looks back on her life, she’s happy with the way it’s been. She got to live her dream, and marry the love of her life.

She might be sixty-five, but when she’s with Lauren, she feels sixteen.

-

Lauren decides that she’s loved her life. She’s lost a lot, but she’s gained a lot, too. She knows that’s because of Camila.

“What’re you thinking about?” Camila asks her, snapping Lauren out of her thoughts. “Lions?”

Lauren shakes her head. “You.”

“Thinking about how fucking sexy I am?” Camila grins, obviously joking. She knows Camila is older now, but she doesn’t think she’s any less beautiful than the first day she saw her.

“I was thinking about how much we achieved together.” Lauren says. “And how much I love you.”

“I love you too,” Camila smiles. “We really did have a lot of fun, huh?”

“Yeah,” Lauren agrees. “We did.”

She thinks back to the day they’d headed to New York, and Lauren had been so afraid that she wouldn’t be able to make it her home. But as she boarded that one-way flight, hand in hand with Camila, she’d felt as fearless and mighty as a lion, like she and Camila could conquer the entire universe.

And if she thinks about it, in their own, small way, they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap, folks.
> 
> A lot of people have been asking authors if they're still planning on writing Camren/5h fics. I'm here for as long as you guys want to read my stuff.
> 
> (As a lil sidenote, Just A Dream has been updating pretty much weekly and I'm rly proud of that fic so go read it or I'll fight you)
> 
> This book has always been the one I was going to publish. It'll take a little while for that to happen, and I'll update this book with an A/N when it's ready, but I need to change the character's names (first and last), and I want you to have an input on that. Lauren's first name will stay the same, because Lolo lion, but everyone else is fair game.
> 
> While I was planning on keeping it going anyway, would you want the drafts book to continue? If it's a yes, I'd also be willing to take suggestions for one shots for that book.
> 
> The last thing before I sign off - there isn't going to be a sequel to this. But a prequel isn't off the table. It would only be short - maybe 10 chapters? Just about Lauren and Camila before they meet.
> 
> Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this fic, to vote, and to comment. I appreciate every single one of you readers who saw something worth reading in my writing.
> 
> Thank you.


End file.
